A/N Thank you everyone. We've been to the farm and the good news is, they got food, medicine, some important clothing items and Beth was able to get mementos.
Big developments this chapter. Let's read!
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Merle and Daryl are satisfied with the great haul, but something is spoiling it for Daryl. He can feel Beth's sadness. He knows why she's sad, he just can't completely understand it. He never had a real home so it's hard to imagine exactly what it's like to lose one, but Beth had all of that. Now all of that is gone.
He softly pats her thigh and does his best to put a positive spin on things, "I'm glad you was able ta get a little sumthin' of your Mama's for you n Maggie, that necklace looks real pretty on ya."
"Thank you Daryl." She should be grateful. She's lucky to be alive, and she's so blessed to have Daryl. She's lucky to have everyone else in their group. She's blessed to still have a Daddy, her sister, and her best friend. She has so much more than most. It's just that losing the farm, this place where she was born and raised, and saying goodbye forever to her Mama and brother left buried there, hurts so deeply.
They can't stay though, they can't make a home here. Not now. There's been way too much destruction. The walkers didn't just cause damage to the house, all those bodies trampling across the fields ravaged them, and there's not a fence still standing. The barn is gone, the irrigation and livestock wells are both contaminated with debris, there's even a walker body in the irrigation well.
If any animals were left they've run off, and with their sensitive noses the smell of the place will likely keep them from ever returning. The only signs left of any animals are bones and Nellie's bridle.
Thoughts of the horse she's had since childhood, and how Nellie must have suffered, have tears rolling down her cheeks. She's trying to to be quiet, but Merle's aware she's crying. He doesn't know what else to do but just keep his eyes on the road, keep driving and get them the hell out of there.
Daryl's not sure why she suddenly started crying, but he knows she has lots of reasons to. He hates to see her so sad though. He takes her hand and makes a promise that he prays to God he'll be able to keep, "Someday we're gonna have us a good place ta live."
Beth knows her sadness makes him uncomfortable, and she appreciates how he always tries to make everything better. She gives his hand a gentle squeeze and whispers, "As long as we're together."
All this tender talk has Merle itching to tease Daryl mercilessly, but he won't. Not this time. He's not holding back for his brother's sake, it's the girl. She's hurting. He's glad he doesn't have his own crying woman to deal with, but shit, will one be waiting for him when they get back? Fuck him.
Rather than taking the back road they came in on, they agree to chance the highway. If they luck out and it's clear they'll make it back much faster. They're all anxious to get back to camp and check on the group.
They travel for several miles in silence before coming upon the walkers they first spotted on their way to the Greene farm. The small, unorganized group has wandered off the road, and it's soon clear why. The undead have brought down a deer and they snarl and flail their arms as they all try to get their share.
The sound of the big pickup gets the attention of several of the creatures, and they make an effort to catch up to it. Merle smiles as he checks the rearview, "It don't look like they can keep up with a V10."
Beth's still feeling down but the little bit of humor makes her smile. And the feel of Daryl's body so close and his hand wrapped around hers are comforting. She rests her head on his shoulder and tells herself again, as long as she's with him everything will be okay.
Now that there's a little time to think they wonder out loud what they'll do with so many supplies. Where will they store them all? And the worst to think about is, what they don't eat soon won't last. Now that it's been brought up from the cool, dark and dry root cellar, and exposed to the changing weather, the food will spoil more quickly.
The small group agree, the camp needs to have a meeting to discuss these things and decide what their next move will be.
They arrive back at the camp to find both excitement and anger at their return.
Merle hardly has a chance to step out of the pickup when Carol's arms are wrapped around his waist and she's whispering, "Thank God you're back. I've been so worried."
He finds himself holding her closer and rubbing an open hand along her back, "Didn't I tell ya I's gonna be just fine? We got lotsa stuff here too. Beth even got some things you n Sophia are gonna be needin'."
"Really? She did? How thoughtful."
"Yeah she's like that. C'mon now, we need ta have a talk with the group."
In the meantime, Maggie and Herschel are furious with Beth. Daryl stands quietly watching and listening to the exchange, planning to step in if Beth needs him. He doesn't think she will, she can handle herself.
Maggie's face is red with anger, "Why didn't you tell me you were going to the farm? Didn't it occur to you that I might want to be there? It was my home too. And what about Daddy, didn't Daddy have the right to go if he wanted?" Glenn, like Daryl, is standing by but happily letting the women work this out themselves.
Beth anticipated all these questions and she's tried to prepare herself for this moment. She keeps her answers short and simple, "Come on Maggie, it's not like we went back to have fun without you. We went to the farm for one reason, to get supplies for the group. Things I knew were there that could help all of us survive. We had no idea how dangerous it might be, and it seemed like the fewer people the less risk involved, and the faster we could get in and out. We took food, medicine, and some clothes and got out. That's it."
She looks at her father and tells him the facts, "The place is half destroyed Daddy, there's no hope of rebuilding, not in this new world. The house is heavily damaged, the animals are gone, the fields have been decimated and the wells polluted. There isn't a fence left standing."
She hugs him and he doesn't fight too hard against it, "I did bring you back something, something I knew you'd like to have."
She reaches in her canvas bag and retrieves the photo, handing it to her Daddy. His eyes fill with tears as he stares at the photo of himself and his wife, standing arm in arm on the big porch of the once beautiful farmhouse, "Thank you daughter, I needed to see this."
"That's the way you want to remember the farm Daddy."
Maggie hasn't quite given up, "Is that what you decided Beth? Is that supposed to make everything okay?"
"No not really, but it's the best it's going to be. Trust me Maggie, you don't want to see the farm." She dips a hand in her pocket, retrieves her mother's necklace and hands it to her sister, "I got you this, I know it was always a favorite of yours."
The emotions of the last few weeks catch up to Maggie and her shoulders shake as she looks at her Mother's crucifix and cries out, "Why is all of this happening? I want things to be like they were."
Glenn's arm wraps across her shoulders, and no one feels the need to tell her things will never be the same again. They know she knows, just like they know.
Daryl's built a small fire and the group are all sitting around having their dinner while they contemplate what the future holds for them. Rick voices it and they all agree, "I know we've felt safe and comfortable in this place, but I think it's time we move on. We're too exposed."
Dale agrees, "The way I see it we have three choices, we find a place we can barricade, or find a place that's already barricaded, or we're going to have to build a barricade. What do we all want?"
They throw around several ideas as they try to come up with something reasonable. Merle finally says what's on his mind, "West Georgia Correctional Facility ain't that far from here, bout 75 miles north n west. That joint has all your barricades, fencing, razor wire and plenty a concrete."
Rick eyes him and asks, "You're familiar with the West Georgia facility Merle?"
Merle grins broadly when he answers, "Ya sound like a cop, Friendly, n yeah, as a matter a fact I's a guest there once upon a time. They wanted me ta stay so bad they comped me my room n my meals for a year."
The way Carol's looking at him Merle knows she wasn't expecting to hear that about him. He does his best to sound as sincere as he is when he looks in her eyes and says, "I used ta have a taste for drugs, but I seen it was time ta give that life up when the world ended. A man can't be flyin' as high as I like to and expect ta survive." There's the truth. It can't be changed. She either accepts it or she doesn't.
Rick questions the idea of a prison, "Let's think about this a minute, a lot of guys were locked up there at the turn, some pretty dangerous. That means there are probably a lot of walkers there now."
Daryl speaks up, "Yeah, but anywhere we go that seems safe or barricaded, or whatever ya wanna call it, that place is likely ta be fulla walkers. I say we get close enough ta send a couple scouts around ta see what the situation is. If it don't look good, we move on."
Merle adds one more thing, "They got a weapons room, guns, ammunition n flash bangs, in case there's a riot."
She's been sitting right there next to him the whole time, through the meal and through the discussion, never saying a word. But now Rick feels Amy's hand come to rest on his leg and she quietly encourages him, "A prison does sound safe Rick. It stands to reason that if people can be locked in it, they can also be locked out," She smiles at him and adds, "As for clearing walkers, now that you're teaching everyone skills with the guns and knives, we'll all be able to help do whatever has to be done."
Sophia is clinging to her Mother, she looks so frightened and her little voice quivers when she asks, "Are we all going together Mommy? Is it going to be safe?"
He doesn't give it any thought, Merle simply runs his hand over the little girl's head and says, "Don't ya worry, I'ma be lookin' out for you n your Mama. I ain't gonna let anyone hurt ya. K?"
While the child nods and replies, "Okay," Merle's realizing he just dug himself in deeper. That does it. He's got to either go with this…whatever this is with Carol, or he's got to tell her he's not the man for her and cut the bullshit.
The group agrees they'll sleep on it for tonight. First thing after breakfast tomorrow they'll divide up all the food stuffs between them. The reasoning is, even if they lose a vehicle for whatever reason, they won't lose all the food.
Once the food has been dispersed the training schedule will begin. They'll be schooled in safety and weapons maintenance, they'll practice with the knives, the guns and in some cases bows. Tomorrow night over dinner they'll make the decision whether to make their way to the West Georgia facility or, if not there, where.
Merle steps out of his own zone once again when he suggests to Carol, "Ya oughta think about lettin' the girl learn how ta shoot. She'd be safer n she'd feel safer."
Carol looks concerned, "But Merle, do you really think that's a good idea? She's so young."
"Hell yeah I think it's a good idea. There's monsters out there. 'Sides, by the time I's her age I'd been huntin' food a couple a years." His voice and his attitude soften as he cradles Carol's cheek in his hand and says, "Maybe I wouldn't be sayin' it, but Honey, this is a whole new world n I think she'll be safer if she can defend herself."
Daryl douses the fire and the group quiets, everyone retreating to their camper or van. Not everyone stays in.
Merle's restless. He gets the bottle of whiskey from his glove box, pops the cap and leans against the pickup. He's just taking his first long pull when he hears the camper door open. He looks over to see Carol and it makes him smile, dammit, why does she look so pretty? Those eyes get to him, "Hey there Honey, whatcha doin' out here?"
Carol's tummy is doing a flip but she just has to take a chance, "Sophia's asleep and I wanted some fresh air," then the truth comes, "And I was hoping I might see you out here."
It's time for him to lay it out, no, it's passed time, "Is that right? I'm flattered, I just can't figure out for sure what ya want with me."
He sounds a little angry and Carol's afraid she made a mistake. She should have just stayed in bed with Sophia, and if there was ever going to be a move made, Merle could make it. But she's being honest with herself, although she's tried so hard to make her feelings for him obvious, he won't make a move. If it's going to happen, it's on her. She's a little embarrassed, but she tells him, "I thought I was being pretty obvious, I like you." She lays her hand on his arm and really takes her chances, "I…I was hoping we could have something together, not just for tonight, but I hope we can really be together."
He's still wary, he's not the kind of man a woman like her goes for, at least not before the fall, "Why? Cuz ya think I can protect you n the girl?"
There it is, there's his truth. Carol responds, "I'm not going to deny that's part of it, but it's more than that. I want you Merle. I see you, I think I know who you are. You're rough and you can be so crass, but you're also honest and brave and well, I can't really describe it. I mean who the heck can describe attraction?"
He looks into those eyes as his big arms wrap around her and nods, "A'ight, but just so ya know, once ya tie your wagon ta this boy I'ma be hard ta get rid of, like gum on your shoe."
She smiles up at him, "That's what I'm hoping for."
He chuckles softly when he admits, "Well that's good Honey, I'm scared shitless." And with one arm around her shoulders and a hand resting on her check he kisses her. It's long and slow and Carol feels the warm rush of desire, but it's not going to happen. Not yet. He still can't quite trust that all this is really real. He's cautious, "Let's give it a couple days n make sure ya don't change your mind. I ain't that easy ta put up with."
Rick's having trouble resting. There's so much going on in his head. They need shelter and there's no choice but to seek it out. But it'll most likely be treacherous out there. Even if they all get proficient with weapons, what are the odds the whole group can make it? Shit, they've got too old men and two little kids and none of that bodes well for their survival.
His biggest concern is Carl. He almost lost him once, he doesn't want to take a chance on losing him now. But what are the choices? Whatever they do there's a huge risk factor involved. Then again, who knows? Maybe they find a place along the way. Somewhere they can all stay, at least he assumes they'll all stay together. They've already become a family.
He's deep in those thoughts when he glances over and sees her, Amy is sitting outside the camper. She looks up, he nods and she quietly walks that way. She smiles and whispers, "Having trouble sleeping?"
He sighs deeply and nods, "Yeah, I've got a lot on my plate," his tone changes when he asks, "What are you doing out alone in the dark? It's not safe Amy, you should be in the camper with Dale and Herschel.
"Yessir Deputy, I know that, but I couldn't sleep either. Maybe it was those older gentlemen snoring, but I think it's more likely you were the cause."
"Me? Why would I be the cause?"
She smiles, "Really officer? No offense, but you're kind of dense for a cop. I tell you what, I'm going back to the camper now and you think about that."
As he watches her walking away Rick finally gets it. Shit, he is dense. There's no denying she's a softly beautiful woman and everything about her tells him she's kind and thoughtful, but he can't afford to even think about romance right now.
Daryl slips off his shirt, tosses it aside and draws Beth close, "Ya feelin' better?"
Snuggling into his powerful chest and feeling the warmth of his skin would make anything better. "I am, but gosh Daryl, it's so hard to watch the world end right before my eyes. I thought I'd accepted it, but when I saw the farm it hit me hard all over again. It proved for me that there's no going back. The world is a different place. We're all different people, already. Everything we thought we knew about life is gone, forced out of existence by some awful disease that kills off our loved ones, turns normal people into the most horrible versions of themselves, and destroys our homes. I just…I guess we really are going to have to build a new life, a much different one."
He'd never admit this to anyone but her, "I know, it's hard for me too." Then his strong arms close tightly around her as he whispers in her ear, "But the turn also gave me a real home. I had a house, but now I know it was never a home. You're my home Beth."
His words bring tears to her eyes again, but she doesn't cry. She holds him tighter and agrees, "You're my home too Daryl. Always. I meant it when I said as long as we're together I'll be happy." Fresh tears come to her eyes, but she doesn't let them fall. She tells him, "I think I'm done now, you know, mourning the past. I said my goodbyes to the farm, I said goodbye to everything." She softly sighs, "Gosh I hate goodbyes."
"Yeah, I hate em too."
He kisses her with such love and warmth and it's so comforting, and it's not long before the warmth turns hotter. They make slow and soothing love that satisfies their physical desire and eases the tension of the day. Eventually they fall asleep, peacefully in each other's arms.
Morning comes and the group once again assembles around the campfire. Amy seats herself next to Rick, and the sheriff doesn't ask her to move, but he doesn't want to encourage her either. He's not sure what the hell he should do.
On the other hand, when Carol sits next to Merle his smile betrays his pleasure. He reaches over and pats her thigh, and that's when Sophia wiggles herself between them. Merle's first thought is, the little girl doesn't want him near her Mama. Then the child slides her arm through his, and her other arm through her Mama's, and there the the three of them sit, all together, arm and arm. Family. Merle's nervous and plenty scared, mostly because he wonders what he did to deserve something that feels so good.
Everyone agrees to divide the food evenly, and Beth suggests, "I think it's best if we eat all the fresh food first. We need to save the canned and packaged goods as much as we can. I'm worried food will get scarce."
The group agrees and with all of them working together, it doesn't take long to divide and store the food. Some of the smaller rigs are badly crowded, but no one is going to complain about too much food.
It's then they get down to the business of each member of the group learning to defend themselves. Rick and Carol have decided to include their kids as well. They recognize they're all targets for monsters, human and dead, and they all need to learn to defend themselves.
The group is aware they're taking a risk firing weapons. The noise could send a message letting unwanted walkers or humans aware of their position. It's a risk they feel they have to take.
The kids pick it up surprisingly fast. Merle shrugs, "I always heard kids are sponges, they just suck up everythin' they hear n see. They learn faster than grown-ups. Looks like these two proved that right."
Maggie's done her share of shooting with BB guns, pellet guns, even a shotgun, but she's never shot a handgun. Glenn has had his practice and it's a skill he caught onto quickly. Maggie likes that he's the one to teach her.
Beth feels like she's developed good skills with the handgun, she just needs to keep practicing. She does that for a while, but what she really wants is to practice with the bow. Daryl, who's been spending time with the older men agrees, "Yeah, these boys know what they're doin', lets you n me shoot bows."
She likes the way his arms wrap around her as he helps her position her fingers on the bowstring and site in the target, and the way he guides her arm as she pulls back on the bowstring, says, "Okay, go," and gets excited when her arrow hits the target, "That's it Beth! Damn girl, you're a regular Robin Hood!" She laughs and thinks, who the heck would have ever guessed learning how to shoot to kill would be romantic.
It's time to quit, to clean the weapons and start getting the evening meal prepared. Potatoes, carrots and cabbage have been roasting in pots nestled in the coals the fire makes, and there are crispy apples for dessert. Daryl smiles at Beth, "this is real good n all, but we gotta get out n do some huntin'. It'd be damn good with a venison roast."
The group is quiet while they eat. It's on everyone's mind, after dinner is done they'll make their big decision. Whatever is agreed upon, they're all aware they need to do something soon.
They've just begun cleaning up after themselves when they hear a rustling in the trees. The adults all stand looking towards the noise and Rick sternly orders Carl, "Get Sophia and get in the camper." The children feel the danger in the air and hurry to obey.
They appear from the trees, a portly man and a slim man, both carrying shotguns, both with handguns and knives on their hips. Daryl, Merle and Rick each have a gun trained on the intruders, and the slimmer man lifts his hands, palms out, and says, "Hey, we didn't come to give you any trouble. We heard some gunfire coming from this way earlier, and then we smelled the food. It smells good, we're wondering if ya got enough to share?"
Merle doesn't respond to the intruders question, instead he asks, "And just who might you fellas be?"
Again it's the slim one who speaks, "Name's Dave, this is Tony. We're just two lonely wanderers looking for a camp to join."
It sounds good, but the whole group can feel it and everyone is tense. There's an air about these men. Something that says they can't be trusted.
Rick asks, "Is that right, and just where are you boys headed?"
Tony shrugs, "We've talked to other survivors and there's lots of rumors out there, you know, about how all this started and how a man could try and find some safety. The talk is Nebraska might be the place. They've got a lot of fallout shelters there and a lot of food stored in case the Russians dropped nukes on us. What about you folks, where you headed?"
Daryl gives the man a steely look when he answers, "We ain't decided."
Tony smiles, "Well it looks like you're doin' okay right here. You got food, shelter and some good looking women, it's a regular party." The group's feelings of tension and distrust have quickly escalated.
Dave steps in and asks a question directed right at Daryl, "Hey, you ain't seen our friend have ya? A young guy named Randall? He said he knew a girl around, a farm girl and that maybe they had food n stuff we could share. He set out to call on her and never came back."
Maggie looks at Beth, Beth gives her a subtle nod and Maggie knows, her sister has seen Randall. Maggie doesn't know exactly what happened, although she can imagine a hundred scenarios, but whatever happened, she's pretty sure Randall's gone for good.
Daryl answers with a disinterested shrug, "Can't say I remember seein' him."
Merle hasn't missed the fact that the more the men talk, the closer and closer into camp they encroach. Rick notices their guns are inching up a little bit at a time, soon they'll be pointed at his group.
Tony suggests, "How about we share that food ya got left, and go ahead and make camp with you folks. We might like to share some other things too." He looks right at Maggie and she can't help cringing, then he adds, "Yeah, that'll work out. We'll stay right here with you, and if you decide to move along, we'll move with you. Sounds good, don't it?"
Rick shakes his head, "No. Sorry fellas, you're welcome to take what's left of tonight's meal with you, but you can't stay here."
Dave angrily asks, "Where are we supposed to go?"
Rick shrugs, "I don't know. I hear Nebraska's nice."
It happens in a split second. Tony and Dave quickly raise their weapons, but before they can get a shot off, Rick has shot them both and they lay dead on the ground.
There's a collective gasp from the group and Rick makes his announcement, "We break camp in the morning, we're going to the prison."
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A/N Eep, we're going to jail! Please leave a comment. The chapter photo is on my tumblr blogs gneebee and bethylmethbrick, please have a look. I'll be back next week with more of Love's Long Road, I hope you'll be here too. Until then remember, I love ya large! xo gneebee