Chapter 7
Warning: There is talk of/mentioning a form of suicide in this chapter. I do not mean to offend anyone, I've been there myself and writing about it helps me. There is your warning.
Kagome sat down with Yusuke and Genkai and again divulged her life's story for the second time that day. The second telling was far worse than the first.
Try as she might, Kagome couldn't hide the flood of emotions that overtook her heart and mind. The more she spoke, the more she thought of the friends that were now centuries behind her. They were gone, and she was left alone to fight the world.
How did she go about finding out what happened to her friends? She needed to know they had lived fulfilled and happy lives, ones they all deserved. How could she live with herself knowing she left them defenseless in the past? On top of that, she didn't know how to function without them by her side anymore. They were more than her friends; they were comrades in arms, and family.
She felt lost without them.
Where did Kagome go from here? As a semi-trained miko her powers were currently useless to her, and to top it off she couldn't even protect the cursed jewel! She was born its guardian, and yet it could only be the jewel that was affecting her in this way.
Yusuke could only watch and listen as this story was different. Her emotions were raw and intense, tears falling as she spoke, telling far more about the relationships she shared with her companions. The monk and slayer were her siblings, the neko a trusted companion, the kitsune her adored son, and the hanyou a wanting lover and dear friend.
As much as he hated it, Yusuke was jealous, but also angry. It was clear Kagome loved the idiot, but he'd hurt her, destroyed her psyche and esteem in a way that dashed any confidence she'd ever have in herself. The inu had a beautiful, living, woman and continuously chose a dead, weaker, lesser version of Kagome. How could someone turn away such blind and willing devotion?
Was he any different?
Keiko was a terrific and compassionate friend, she cared for him, maybe even loved him, but he couldn't bring himself to care for her in the same way. He wasn't good for her, he may not be smart like Kurama but he was smart enough, she wanted the ideal future with a respectable husband, children and a home of her own. Yusuke couldn't give her all of that, the life he led was dangerous, and his safety wasn't guaranteed. If she chose to stay with him, it would only mean pain.
But at the same time, he never said he was her boyfriend, everyone simply assumed, he never promised her to be by her side. He protected her as a friend, after all, she was often in danger because of the connection she had to him. She had been his friend as a child after they moved, her family becoming close to his own, and Keiko would always hold a special place in his life, but only as a friend.
Kagome was different; she was his first friend, his best friend, the first one to see Yusuke, make him feel important and show that he was special even if it was only to her and to him that's all that mattered. The world could turn against him, but it didn't matter what anyone thought only what she thought.
So maybe they were different. He'd still need to talk with Keiko.
Genkai stared hard at the girl, having taken in all she had to say. It was an impressive story, one she believed, after all, the girl was the Legendary Shikon Miko. "What's your theory? A miko's powers don't just disappear,"
Kagome sighed looking down at her clenched hands. "I believe that whatever thing forced me back here affected my reiki. I think it's Magatsuhi's will that is blocking them, because the power I do have I'm focusing on the jewel, and it's taking everything to maintain its purity," she hissed out, the jewel could never be pure even with Midoriko's soul it was still an evil gem that manipulated holders and protectors so it wouldn't disappear.
"Why?" Genkai insisted. "What would Magatsuhi have to gain?"
Kagome looked at Yusuke, his brown eyes staring back at her with care and support. This man was doing everything to help her, and she had almost lost her chance of reconnecting with him because of her wish.
"I did have a pure wish but- it's impossible now," Kagome paused nervously, biting at her lip, her sapphire eyes slanted down avoiding Yusuke's concern gaze.
"Orginally Naraku had been able to manifest Magatsuhi: giving him flesh to walk the earth. When that happened, Magatsuhi sought me out; telling me I was going to be taking Midoriko's place in the jewel, just as Naraku would take his." Kagome blinked back tears. "There was a huge fight, and we were able to obtain a majority of the jewel. Even though it was purified in my possession, I could still hear him. Whispering that the purist wish is the one no one wants to make," at this fat tears flowed freely down her cheeks. "I was going to give up my soul, I thought that if I did Kikyo and Inuyasha might finally have a chance at happiness,"
"How in the hell is that selfless?" Yusuke snapped, his voice dripping in pure rage and yet his eyes spoke of such pain and sorrow Kagome shamefully looked away.
To many, it may seem she was selfish in giving up her life. But it had been all for the sack of a safer future, so that no one would have to fear the chaotic powers of the Shikon no Tama. In the end it didn't really matter, as she was stuck her in the future when the wish could only work in the past.
"It had nothing to do with me wanting to die." her eyes this time taking on their own heat and anger. She had thought of it, wanted to at one point, but she had everyone else to take care of, and this would have made Inuyasha happy: Kikyo's life returned. Everything she'd done, she'd done for him it seemed. "I was going to give up my soul, and body, so that someone else could live. It was going to be selfless as it went against everything I wanted and believe in! Inuyasha would finally have what he wants," the words had turned venomous. Kikyo was all Inuyasha had ever wanted it seemed, he chased after her and praised her as if she were a goddess incapable of committing any wrong. Although she loved him through everything, he couldn't see her as Kagome, only Kikyo's reincarnation. At least this way, she'd finally be what he's always wanted. "He'd have her,"
"He's an idiot,"
She could only stare at him unable to say anything for the lump that has formed in her throat.
"You were willing to give up everything for the bastard," he growled. 'And I would have missed out on finding you again,'
In the back of his mind, Yusuke always thought that they would find each other, no matter where their lives ended he held out hope. And if Yusuke was truthful, the reason he'd known it was her when he saved her yesterday, was because as a ghost he'd visited her.
'This sucks,' Yusuke grumbled to himself, He'd been dead about three days now, people he hadn't thought would notice were noticing his absence, and he was finally seeing how much other people actually cared. But his mind had gone to the one person no one had told, who wouldn't know he'd died.
Brown eyes slanted towards the park below. It was an older park but well-kept, with the play equipment having a fresh coat of paint in the last year or so and the numerous trees and grass were trimmed.
It looked just as he remembered.
Floating above, listening to the kids, Yusuke lost himself in memories from when he was a child. Looking back he remembered his piece-of-shit dad, the bastard only cared about women and alcohol, and when mad he took that anger out of his mom and him. His mom was far from being a saint, but she did her best to hide him from the abuse and keep it on her. The man had found something, or better yet, someone which led him to leave them, but without his father, his mom couldn't afford their current appartment and its what pulled him away from his dearest person
'Kagome,' his eyes grew sad, tears misting his chocolate colored orbs. 'I never got to say goodbye- or keep any of my promises,' looking now at his crossed legs he caressed the green colored fabric of his pants. This color, the color she loved to see him wear, was his constant reminder of his friend who's memory he carried in his heart. 'Well maybe one- I think of you, whenever I wear green,'
Below bouncing up the steps was a brother and sister. The boy probably still in grade school from the backpack and lack of uniform. The girl was different, dressed in a school uniform, that was far more revealing than his own schools, the girl had to be around his age. The sailor style shirt was white and green with a red scarf, the short skirt that revealed much of her long legs was green.
A devious smile pulled at his lips as he floated down, thoughts of Kagome pushed to the side for now.
The two siblings were playing, kicking a soccer ball back and forth as the boy practiced.
He was close to peeking up the girl's skirt when she twirled around, the skirt flaring around her legs. Momentarily forgetting he was a ghost, Yusuke just back ready for the scream of "pervert" and a slap, but neither came.
Raven hair blocked her view for only a moment before the silky strands settled on her shoulders. Searching eyes of bright sapphire hit him, and for a moment he thought she was staring at him, but instead she was looking through him.
"Kagome?" the boy asked, his own hazel eyes searching. "Sis is everything alright?"
Surprise washed over him. Could this be his Kagome?
"It's nothing," she shook her head flashing a bright smile down at the boy. "I thought I felt we were being watched,"
"That's silly; we're the only ones here,"
She giggled. "Or maybe its mama wondering where we are?"
'This has to be her!' Yusuke all but screamed. She'd grown from the cute little girl that was his friend all those years ago into the beauty before him. The kindness that radiated from her was unmistakably her.
"Come on I'll help you practice at home, heaven knows the shrine has enough space,"
The boy huffed before nodding. "Alright,"
"Hey, maybe I can try convincing grandpa not to get me scrolls for my birthday coming up! Heaven knows how much mummified stuff we've fed to Buyo," The two left laughing.
Intent on following Yusuke was stopped by a cheery voice behind him. "There you are Yusuke! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Botan nagged.
"Oh, hi there Botan," Yusuke greeted nervously with a weak wave.
"Now what in the world are you doing all the way out here?"
"Nothing, just couldn't stand seeing everyone all sad over me,"
"Did you give some thought about Koenma's offer?"
Brown eyes trailed after Kagome, a flitter of hope blooming in his chest. If he could come back, he could see her again and apologize, and maybe gain back her friendship.
"Yeah, I'll do it," as soon as it was said, Botan had Yusuke by the hand and was whisking him away to god knows where.
wolfYLady: There you are chapter 7. I love writing the flashbacks, but I think they'll be stopping soon. I know its so sad ?. But I think the time has a come for Yusuke and Kagome to get closer in the present *wink*wink*
Just a little reminder, the more reviews, the faster I update. The smaller the reviews, the slower I update.