Once back in my room at guardian housing, I look over the few boxes one last time for the right adress so they would arrive at storage. I packed the last remaining items in my duffelbags, closed them and carried the two bags down to the garage. My plan really was to not use Abe for his money and connections right now, in the future I probably needed too however I did ask for his help with a passport cause I did not want to be traveling as me, a borrowed car from Hans waited for me and when it was packed I headed for Lissas apartment.

I nodded to the two guardians in the hall, knocked twice on her door, stepped back straightened my posture and waited. She opened within a minute, laid eyes on me with a look that told me she was displeased to see me and stepped back to let me in.

I walked in just enough for there to be room between us which basically landed me in her kitchen, that's when I noticed Dimitri in her living room - open floor planing hides nothing but he was right where I wanted him because he needed to hear this too. I turned and looked at Lissa

"I'm sorry for the disturbance, I won't be long. I wanted to tell you that I'm leaving." In the corner of my eye I saw Dimitri jerk and focus on me, Lissa looked taken aback but her feelings? They told a different story, it was like she was pleased almost relieved to have me gone. "I've put in my resignation, it's all cleared however for two weeks the official story is vacation and later on it'll be known I have resigned. I have handed in a recommendation letter and because of that guardian Belikov is reinstated on a trailbasis for two weeks. What happens after that is out of my hands but I have asked that he be your primary guardian."

- "I don't understand Rose, why are you leaving me? I know things have been rough but it'll get better I promise." I wonder if she realises that her tone sounds insincere, I can see right through her and we both know there is no lost love here. I wonder if the guardians in the hall can hear our conversation..

"Prinsess, in order to protect you the best way possible you need a strong team. As of right now the team has flaws and I'm willing to put that on me as the primary of the group because of that I'm stepping down. I also agree with you that people in court need to see Belikov with different eyes which won't happen without him being reinstated and no amount of respect between us can make that work, he even said so himself. As for the relationship between you and I, well we both know there is none."

With that said i turned to leave when she opened the bond between us, showing her true colors sending darkness with her words which rocked me to my core. Since the bond had been muted for so long I kinda froze in place. She told me in silence "if you leave now I'll make sure you're never allowed back, you live for me and I made you who you are." I could see Dimitris eyes going between us, no doubt he understood that she spoke through the bond but I'm sure he couldn't imagine her being cruel or hateful, I mean she was his light angel who could do no wrong.

As I stood there frozen I felt betrayed and a bone deep sorrow this wasn't the person I once knew and fucking hell I wanted to scream at her, tell her the truth as I saw it but I knew it was a fight I wouldn't win. Her aim with sending darkness is for me to loose my cool and that satisfaction is not something i'm going to give her so I just kept walking out of their lives.

I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath, the two guardians out in the hall were a part of my team so it felt right to say goodbye however before I even uttered a word one spoke

- "You're leaving? Quitting being a guardian?"

"Yes I have decided to move on with my life"

-"I'm sad to see you go, you're one hell of a leader" He added in a small voice "we want you to know that we're not blind, all of us have seen how she treated you but we didn't know what to do.. we're trained to not be seen or heard but how to defend someone against them?"

I broke for them because this is exactly how it is, our word means nothing against their society we're treated badly, used and shamed.

"You did well, don't worry about me but if you ever find yourself in a situation where something is unjust or feels wrong go to headgurdian Croft, he's one of the good ones." They both nodded and I headed towards the garage.

I felt him before I heard him, decided to not say anything and continue towards the car, if he wanted to speak he could but me? I had said enough.

- "Are you leaving because of me?" His dark voice hitting me just as I was about to open the car door, I had fantasized about a dramatic goodbye, a big show of oh no don't leave and grand speeches. but as the hurt went away, bittersweet feelings remained and I knew what to say however I had hoped he would've let me go without it.

"Yes and no, did I realise because of you that I want to do something else? Yes. Am I so hurt by you that I'm impulsively leaving? No." I turned around to where his voice carried from and saw him there, frowning looking troubled.

-"I don't understand." What I wanted to say was well that really sounds like a you problem but decided against it last second.

"We fell in love a life time ago, headed for greatness and we both knew our fate but that isn't a fate I want anymore. You made me want something else and I'm getting that for me, you will always have a special place in my heart." I made sure we had eye contact as I continued so he understood that I had heard him all along "As my mentor. I wish you the best of luck and please forgive yourself for what you had no control over." I kept looking at him and he said nothing which I read as him not having more to say so I turned towards the open car again and I'll be damned he spoke so quietly I wasn't sure if I imagined it.
-"I'm not sure I meant it, if I don't love you why does it hurt so much now that you're leaving?" As I closed the car door I let the words ring true "it doesn't matter, it's too late."