The Saturday of homecoming was, in a word, exhausting.
Preparations for the day began on Friday when Bex, Liz, Macey, and I went to the nail salon and (after waiting for almost an hour even though we had appointments) got mani-pedis that complimented our dresses. After that, we got a light girls' dinner (poke bowls so we wouldn't be bloated) and discussed our plan for the following day.
Our hair appointments were spaced out throughout the morning so we wouldn't see each other until the afternoon. While a lot of girls went and got their make-up done at a Sephora station or something, Macey was a whiz with a makeup brush and had agreed to do all of ours. So that afternoon, approximately 2 and a half hours before we were supposed to meet with our group for the mandatory pre-dance pictures, we sat around Macey's bizarrely large bedroom and patiently waited for her to work her magic on us.
I hadn't scheduled a hair appointment, partly because my hair didn't really do anything no matter how much it was prodded, and partly because I didn't know any good hair salons in Roseville yet. My New York hair stylist, Alexi, had been doing my hair since I was practically in the womb.
So, Mom and I had decided that a sleeked-back ponytail would be best for the night. It was simple, it was elegant, and most importantly showed off the glorious back (or lack thereof) of my dress. I accessorized with these super over-the-top but absolutely-beyond-perfection dangly earrings and instructed Macey to paint my face as she saw fit.
Now, I sat cross-legged on Macey's king-size bed and watched her run a soft streak of blush across Liz's cheeks.
"How did you learn to do all this?" I asked in amazement. It was truly like watching some medieval sorcery take place. One minute we had noses, then the next-BOOM! they were contoured away.
"I watched like a million makeup tutorials when I was little," Macey said through the corner of her mouth. Two makeup brushes were currently nestled in nicely between her teeth, as she subbed them in and out of the process. "My dad's campaigns were so boring, it was like all I did."
"Noted," Liz said grinning. "All we have to do to get good at makeup is have a senator for a dad."
Macey flicked her nose in response.
Bex was next, then me. I sat on the chair of Macey's vanity, facing away from the mirror so she could look me over. "Love the hair," she was murmuring as she swiveled the chair from side to side to survey me from every angle. "And the earrings. I'm thinking nude-ish lip, darker eyes?"
If it was my approval she was asking for she had come to the wrong place. I give her a noncommittal eyebrow wiggle and with a defeated sigh she went to work. However long later, my eyelashes and eyelids felt severely violated but I was finally done. Macey had shooed me off her vanity and started to work on her own makeup with such precision and speed I was mesmerized. Bex, Liz, Macey, and I sat and watched her in awe.
"You're a magician," Bex said dreamily.
"A wizard," I added.
"A goddess," Liz concluded.
"Shut up," Macey grinned, snapping a compact powder lid shut. She stood up and wiped her hands on the legs of her sweatpants. She actually looked unreal. We all stared at her for a few seconds in amazement but she snapped her fingers in our faces. "Stop being weird. People are gonna show up any second. Get. Dressed."
It was true. The plan for our homecoming group was to meet at Macey's McMansion and take photos in her enormous backyard. Her parents had completely decked out the entire house. The backyard had been set up with string lights and round tables for eating. Inside there was a photo booth, a buffet, and even waiters walking around passing out appetizers. All in all, it was pretty over the top but also completely awesome.
So, we hurried to get dressed. Macey had gotten her dress back from the stylist and it was a dark shade of midnight blue with a deep v-cut in the front. It fit her like a glove which made sense considering the fact that they had literally sewn it onto her at one point. Bex and Liz also looked stunning in their dresses and once we were all zipped up and standing in front of the mirror I couldn't help but get sentimental.
"You guys," I whined, turning to my three best friends. "You guys look so great. I can't wait for tonight!" I turned around and grabbed their hands to pull them into a blubbery group hug.
"Oh don't get sappy yet," Bex snickered. "This isn't a hallmark special."
I punched her in the arm but released them from the awkward group hug either way. "You're right. Let's get this show on the road."
The four of us started to make our way towards the McHenry foyer which-you guessed it-was grand as hell. She had two sets of stairs, one on either side of the foyer and for one lame second, I considered having a movie moment and making my friends split up and walk on either side of the stairs movie-style. But that was cringy and no one actually did that in real life, so we settled on walking down the stairs like normal, non-movie character people.
As we descended the stairs the group of people that had already arrived stopped talking and watched us. No, not dramatically like open-mouth staring at us, struck by our beauty or anything like that, but in a totally normal greeting your friends type of way. "Hey!" Grant called loudly from by the buffet table. He popped a pig-in-a-blanket into his mouth then hurried to greet us, scooping Bex into his arms.
He spun her around, despite her half-hearted protests to be put down, and then kissed her. "You are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She blushed, he blushed, hell, we all blushed. It was pretty darn cute.
We made our way into the living room area which was all windows and expensive furniture. Parents were milling about holding glasses of wine, and when Mom saw me she set hers down on the table and gave me a hug to rival the one Grant gave Bex. "You look so beautiful honey," she said in a watery voice. Her eyes were already brimming with tears and it was going to make me cry.
"You don't look too bad yourself," I grinned, giving her the once-over. She was chaperoning the dance and had dressed the part, in a long black dress and a sheer shawl.
She pulled me in one more time and kissed the top of my head. "Your dad would've been so proud," she whispered into my hair. And then I did start crying a little.
Next on the queue for hellos was Josh. He was engaged in a conversation with DeeDee by the photobooth while her date mournfully played on his phone. The two of them always seemed a bit oblivious to others when they were talking to each other. I walked up to the pair of them, waving towards DeeDee's date a little apologetically, and tugged on Josh's sleeve.
"Hey," I grinned.
For a moment, Josh looked surprised to see me (surely he hadn't forgotten I was his date?), but he quickly broke out into a giant grin. "Cammie, hey! You look gorgeous!" He pulled me into a hug and then stepped back to survey me. He nodded toward DeeDee's date (whose name may have been Kyle or James or something) and elbowed him jokingly. "Look at us scoring the most beautiful girls in the room!"
DeeDee's date (Justin maybe?) smiled but quickly returned to his phone. I turned to DeeDee, pulled her into a hug, and let her know that she did in fact look gorgeous. She blushed so red that she was the same color as her dress.
"This feels so weird," she admitted, glancing around the room. "Josh and I have gone to every dance together since we were twelve."
Josh chuckled at this and plunged into a story about how ridiculous they looked at their sixth-grade Valentine's Day dance, but I was barely paying attention because at that moment Zach and Tina had walked into the room.
It seemed almost like all the conversation in the room came to a halt, this time very much like they do in the movies. Maybe it was because Zach filled the room with his presence, looking astonishingly tall and broad in his dark suit, or maybe it was because Tina's dress was absolutely stunning-but regardless-every single eye in the room was on them.
Tina's dress was gorgeous and it also just so happened to be almost the exact same color as mine. It was maybe a few shades of green lighter than mine, but the similarities were there. Her's, however, just looked expensive. I don't even know how to explain it. It was layered and had lace and a bunch of intricate designs and a fancy slit running up the side and it just looked good. Almost like my dress on steroids.
Anyway, when she and Zach entered the room it was near silent. They were just such an attractive couple it was hard not to stare. I wanted to pull my eyes away from them but I couldn't. I tracked Zach's eyes as they scanned the room hurriedly and watched them land on me. He met my gaze and I watched his body tense.
His eyes moved from my face down my body.
And okay, I'm gonna be honest for a second. This is gonna sound so embarrassing. But, you know how in books people always say that stupid line, 'it was like we were the only two people in the room'? Well, I've read that sentence a million times and every time I see it I think it's the dumbest thing ever. How could that even be a thing?
Well, I'm here to say that I, Cameron Ann Morgan, finally understand it. It very much is possible to feel like the only two people in a very crowded room and for some reason, it was happening at that very moment.
I watched Zach drag his gaze down the length of me, then back up. His eyes paused on the way up at the low back of the dress that was visible from the side, and he licked his lips. When they met mine again they were nearly black.
Basically, my whole body was blushing.
Tina grabbed his arm and started pulling him in the direction of some cameras that were pointing in their direction. It didn't look like either of Tina's parents was in the mass of the crowd but Jamie Goldberg's parents were doing her the honors and snapping photos with paparazzi-like speed.
I jolted back into reality only to find that DeeDee and Josh had migrated somewhere and I was left standing with DeeDee's date (surely his name was Connor?). I mumbled some excuse that he certainly didn't acknowledge because he was still on his phone, and sauntered off to find my friends.
They were bunched together in the backyard avoiding the flock of parents trying to get their picture. I hurried up, trying to steady my breath and feel as normal and un-flushed as possible.
"It's a madhouse in there," I sighed.
Jonas shook his head. "Understatement."
Bex, who was shifting uncomfortably on her feet, scowled at the living room. "We should get these pictures over with so I can take these bloody heels off. I swear I'm like 6'2 in these."
"It's hot," Grant said.
We all groaned in disgust and Liz demanded they get a room. Eventually, though, the parents did win the battle and we were herded together for group pics.
The McHenry family photographer had offered to cover this event for free and for the next half hour we were forced into about a million different varieties of poses. Josh and I could barely take the whole thing seriously and we got reprimanded more than once for whispering or laughing too hard and ruining the one shot where everyone's eyes were open.
"I'm so glad you found that as painful as I did" Josh chuckled, grabbing my hand and leading me away from the crowd when the picture-taking process was finally over. "I think I won the date lottery."
I grinned back at him and admired how good he looked in his suit. Because the emerald shade of my dress was a little hard to match, we had opted for a simple black tie and it looked really good on him. I reached out and straightened it a little. "Nah, I'm the lucky one."
Josh winked, then craned his neck to look around. We would be filing onto the party bus soon which would take us to the venue, so the parents were slowly starting to trickle out. "I wonder how DeeDee's finding everything," he said worriedly. "I feel kind of bad she ended up going with Greg-we always go together you know."
As it turns out, I did in fact know that, since this was the fourth time I had heard about how they usually went to every single dance together. I was starting to wonder if they would have rather just stuck to tradition and gone together this year too.
"Let's go find her," I offered, hoping that rescuing DeeDee from Greg (Greg!) would finally allow Josh to relax and have fun.
The two of us weaved in and out of the crowd, scanning the group of people for any sign of the two of them. I paused momentarily by the buffet table to dip my hand in the chocolate fountain, and when I turned around Josh was long gone. Deciding to cut my losses and enjoy the spread of food instead of searching for them again, I surveyed the table.
Every food group was laid out in front of me. I couldn't even begin to know where to start. I picked up a cupcake, housed that, then moved on to the mini-corn dogs next. I was just working my way towards the fruit tower when Tina materialized at my side.
"Hey girl!" She chirped and reached across from me for a celery stick. She dunked into a dollop of hummus and took a bite.
"Hi," I found myself saying. Up close, I could see her makeup was meticulously done. I briefly wondered where she would fit the pics she and Zach had taken tonight in her Tina shrine.
"Your dress is just-," Tina sucked in a deep breath, "-gorgeous."
I grabbed another cupcake, red velvet this time. "Thanks so is yours."
She twittered out a little laugh and pushed a handful of perfectly curled hair out of her face. "I wanted my stylist to make a dress that matched Zach's eyes…I didn't realize it would be so close to the same color as yours…" She bit into another stick of celery. "Crazy."
Suddenly, I felt extremely fidgety. I wasn't really sure what she was implying. She had definitely seen our dresses and the exact color of them that day at the mall. She knew perfectly well what the color of mine would be. As for it being the same color as Zach's eyes-that was a stretch. Green came in a million different shades and nothing about the one I had chosen was even remotely "crazy".
I didn't know what to say back to her so I just smiled and munched on the last bit of my cupcake. Thankfully, it was at that moment that the McHenry's were clinking a fork against a wine glass and notifying us that it was time to load onto the bus.
Grateful for the excuse to get out of the conversation I waved goodbye and sprinted away from the buffet table.
The last thing I heard was the crunch of her biting into another celery stick and I had the sickening feeling that she wished it was my neck.
The venue was absolutely breathtaking.
They decorated it in line with the theme which was something about the 7 wonders of the world or something like that. It was at a hotel that was about forty minutes from Macey's house which meant that for forty minutes we were standing on a hot, strobe-light-filled party bus that was blaring 2000's throwback songs and bouncing dangerously as we tried to toss back drinks out of flasks.
I hadn't really planned on drinking before the dance but then again, I hadn't really planned on not drinking before the dance so it was really a game-time decision to take a couple of sips of Bex's drink. Thankfully, the alcohol did soothe my nerves a little, which spiked drastically every time Tina looked in my direction. Unfortunately, she did often.
Someone who was not in fact ever looking at me was her date. Not that I cared, but statistically speaking, two people riding on a 300-square-foot school bus would eventually have to make some sort of eye contact at some point, right? Wrong.
As if he had some sort of sixth sense as to where I would be, Zach completely avoided even glancing in my general direction. It was like he was convinced one accidental look at me would turn him to stone.
Which was fine by me cause I was way too busy dancing and having fun with my friends to notice. For the most part, anyway.
We danced our way through the 40-minute drive to the venue, danced our way off the bus, and when we stepped foot into the gorgeous venue we danced our way around the floor too. Whoever was DJing the event seemed to know exactly what to play, and more than once my friends and I found ourselves scream-singing lyrics in each other's faces.
Inside the dance, our enormous group of twenty had split off into a couple of different smaller groups. Tina, Zach, her cheer friends, and their dates had wandered off at some point and were sitting at the tables surrounding the dance floor. Josh, DeeDee, and some of the football guys were dancing closer to the DJ booth so they could make requests every now and then. Bex, Macey, Liz, the boys, and I were in the very middle of the crowd, elbowing people and bouncing on the balls of our now-heeless feet.
Josh occasionally pushed his way through the mosh pit to dance with us, but after a song or two, he would shove his way back to the front. I didn't feel too bad about it cause I knew how worried he was about DeeDee. He had known her way longer than he knew me and we weren't dating anyway so I wouldn't expect his loyalties to lie anywhere else. Still, my friends kept throwing me pitying glances every time he left.
After a few hours of dancing our little group stumbled off the dance floor and towards the tables that were set up around the perimeter. We picked a less crowded area near the Great Pyramid of Giza section, doubled up on water bottles, and collapsed into our chairs.
"I cannot believe this dance lasts until 12," Grant said slightly breathlessly. He finished off a bottle of water and then crushed it flat before moving on to the next one.
"I'd be down to leave kind of early," Preston admitted. "The lakehouse is gonna be way more fun."
My friends murmured in agreement.
It was tradition, the weekend of a dance, to rent out a lake house/beach house of sorts and spend the night there after the dance. After prom, people usually spent both Saturday and Sunday there and skipped the following Monday at school, but that was typically a right reserved for the second semester. So shortly after this we would pile back into the party bus and make the journey to Grant's lake house which according to him was going to be "fucking dope".
I had no idea what to expect for the after-party but I was pretty excited since everyone was saying that it was always better than the dance itself. Considering the fact that I was already having a ton of fun, this was promising. Plus, I was more than a little sweaty and the idea of changing out of this dress and into sweats enticed me.
"Why don't you guys go rally the troops and see if anyone would wanna leave in like, 30 minutes?" Macey offered to the guys as she fanned herself off with her hands.
They nodded their consent, then hurried off to go find the rest of our enormous group.
"Dude," Macey said the minute the guys were out of earshot. She fixed her eyes on Bex. "Grant is totally going to say I love you tonight."
At this, Bex turned a dark shade of purple and she choked on her water. She looked at each of us nervously. "No way? You think so? Actually?"
Macey nodded. "Definitely."
Liz was leaning forward. "You can totally see it. It's all in how he looks at you. Guys have a certain look on their faces when they look at the girls they love, you know?"
I furrowed my brow. It was super obvious Grant was head-over-heels for Bex, but as for this "look" on his face, I had no clue what they were talking about.
"Do you love him?" Macey asked, leaning in too. I followed suit, eagerly waiting for Bex's reply. She gave us a nervous nod and the three of us squealed in excitement.
"That's so exciting Bex!" I exclaimed giving her hand a squeeze. I looked around and then dropped her hand. "Can I admit something?"
"You're in love with Zach?" Liz immediately said.
This time it was my turn to choke. "What? No? What is wrong with you?" I shook my head incredulously. "I have no clue what you guys are talking about with this look guys get when they're in love. Give me examples."
Bex laughed and directed her gaze toward the crowd. She pointed a manicured hand at a couple that was sitting a few tables down. "Okay see, them. Look at how he's looking at her. That boy is whipped." She grabbed my head and turned me around to look at another couple. "Now look at them. Totally different, see?" I followed her gaze at the two people that were leaning against the punch stand. They looked perfectly happy enough, but she was right, there was a difference.
"Interesting," I mused, picking at the wrapper of my water bottle.
"You can honestly see it a lot if you look around the room," Macey admitted, dragging her eyes around the dance floor. "Check out how Jonas is looking at Liz as we speak."
The three of us (Liz actively refusing) glanced over toward where Jonas was standing with the rest of the guys. They were talking to some people in our group, probably asking when they would want to leave, and Jonas was looking almost adoringly in Liz's direction. It was pretty cute.
For the next few minutes or so I looked around the room and applied this little test to see which couples looked as head-over-heels for each other as my friends. Jamie and Luke? Yes. Hannah and Dustin? No. Josh and DeeDee…Yes?
I did a quick double take, but sure enough, they were looking at each other in the same infatuated way. How had I not seen this before? How did they not see how they felt about each other? I felt a confusing rush of emotions.
For a brief moment, I ran through every memory I had with Josh and Dee Dee. I thought about the way they lit up when they spoke to each other and how they were always looking out for one another. I thought about how happy they had been lately to have been able to hang out more and how at ease they looked dancing together.
I had always thought of them as just really great best friends, but looking at them now I realized it was way more than that. I just didn't think either of them knew it yet.
"Will you guys hold on a second?" I asked suddenly. I took off across the room without waiting for anyone's reply. When I finally crossed to where Josh and DeeDee were dancing they both looked up happily. "Cammie!" Josh beamed, pulling me into a hug. The three of us knocked heads and we burst out laughing.
"Josh, can I borrow you for a second?" I rubbed my forehead where it had banged against his with a grin.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you even have to ask that!" DeeDee said hurriedly. Her face was bright red. "I should not be hogging your date like that!"
As Josh and I made our way towards the doors, I assured her it was perfectly fine and I wasn't at all mad. The truth was, I wasn't. I realized now what neither of them did-that they were totally into each other.
Josh and I stepped out of the doors and weaved our way through the hotel lobby. A lot of students from the dance were out there, lounging on the furniture and taking a break from the music and dancing. I spotted a relatively secluded pair of chairs towards the back of the lobby and led Josh over there.
"Listen," Josh began sheepishly once we had sat down. His cheeks were flushed and he was staring at me nervously from under his mop of curls. "I'm really sorry I've been such a shit date. It's just Dee's my best friend and…"
I cut him off. "Josh, don't apologize." Grabbing his hands, I continued. "This is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I genuinely don't mind that you've been spending the dance with DeeDee! I love her so much and she obviously means so much to you." I took a deep breath, unsure how to continue. "I think it wasn't until I saw you two together tonight that I really realized how well you guys click."
Josh looked embarrassed and again, I realized that he had just no idea where I was going with this. I couldn't believe two people so obviously into each other didn't even know it themselves. "Josh," I said plainly, not even bothering to hold back an amused smile. "Have you guys ever considered that you may have feelings for each other?"
His eyebrows drew together in confusion. "Cammie? What? No! I wouldn't do that to you! We've been friends-"
"Since you were like four, I know," I interrupted again with a laugh. "Josh, it's okay. I don't think you guys can even see it because you're so used to how you feel around each other. But…yeah. I think there's a reason you guys only want to spend time with each other tonight."
I was still holding onto his hands, and I gave them a squeeze. I wanted to let him know I was by no means angry. He had been one of the kindest and most welcoming people in Roseville when I first got here. We had had a ton of fun and had made some amazing memories, but now it was time for me to stop holding him back from something better.
I could see the wheels spinning in Josh's head. He seemed to mull over my words for a second and then he dropped his head into his hands. "Oh God, I think you're right." He groaned. "Cammie I'm so sorry. I hope I didn't ruin homecoming for you."
I shook my head. "Not at all. I'm honestly okay. And I'm happy! I love DeeDee. You two are great together."
Josh stood from his seat across from me and moved to the one next to me. He pulled me into an enormous hug. "You're amazing," he told me. I squeezed him tighter and laughed into his chest.
"Go talk to DeeDee!"
He pulled away and I could see the conflicting emotions vying for space on his face. He looked concerned for me, but his eyes were charged with excitement. I didn't really know how to let him know that I really was okay. I loved Josh to bits, but he was really more of a great friend to me than he would have ever been a boyfriend. Plus, slow-burn friendship to romance was like the cutest trope ever. He and DeeDee were straight out of a rom-com.
"I think we'll probably just go talk things through over food or something after the dance," Josh told me, standing up. "Is that okay? I just feel like having this talk at Grant's lakehouse might be a little overwhelming."
"You do not have to ask me for permission, you freak," I laughed, rolling my eyes. I stood up and gave him a shove toward the doors of the conference room. "Go! And good luck!"
I watched Josh bound nervously on the balls of his feet towards the dance floor and giggled at his awkward gait. I was excited knowing that pretty soon the two of them would be happier than ever.
After a beat or two, I walked back into the conference room. Someone was on the stage and it took me a minute to register it was my mom. I weaved my way through the crowd until I found my friends.
"What's going on?" I whispered.
"King and queen dance," Bex whispered back only she has no concept of an inside voice and was mostly screaming.
"Your mom is gonna recrown them and stuff then they have this little dance," Preston informed me.
I nodded and scanned the stage for our royal king and queen of homecoming. Tina and Zach were off in the wings waiting to be beckoned. Tina in her Goode-Green dress was whispering something in his ear.
"And now for their first dance as King and Queen, Zach Goode and Tina Walters!"
The two of them made their way to the center of the stage and paused momentarily in front of Mom. She picked up two sashes and draped them across their bodies. Next, she placed their two enormous crowns on their heads before shooing them off towards the dance floor.
It was all so cliche and bizarre that I couldn't help but stare. The whole process seemed like something straight out of an MTV show and as the orchestral slow song began to blare from the overhead speaker, I bit back a laugh. So. Weird.
Tina and Zach twirled around the cleared-off space on the dance floor as pretty much all the student body just stood and stared at them. It was like they were animals at some sort of exhibit and we were studying their mating patterns.
"Where's Josh?" Macey's voice sounded in my ear. I glanced over at her to see her leaning into my side. I debated telling her but realizing I should probably let Josh and DeeDee figure out their situation before running my mouth, I just shrugged.
"I'll fill you in later."
She narrowed her eyes at me suspiciously and I had the idea that she already knew what was going on, but she said nothing. Dragging her eyes back over to where our royal pains in the ass were twirling about the dance floor, she scrunched her face. "God, I would've thrown a fit if they had tried to get me to do this." She checked the Rolex on her right hand. "I hope they wrap this up soon."
I snickered, secretly seconding her wish to be free of this spectacle. As if on command, the DJ started up on his microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, who wants to join them on the dance floor?" The crowd flooded to the floor as the music sped up.
The minute enough people had joined them on the floor, Zach and Tina pulled away from one another. They hurried over to where we were standing, slightly out of breath.
"Are we leaving?" Zach asked. I would say his question was directed toward the group but that wouldn't entirely be true. His question was directed toward the right half of the group. If you're wondering, I was standing to the left.
"Yeah," Macey nodded, typing something on her phone. "The bus driver said he's pulling up to the front so we can leave now if we want."
At some point, our massive group of however many had congregated together. Now we were marching towards the doors in an enormous mass of sweaty bodies and excited conversation. Outside the hotel lobby, the cold air was a slap to the face. It had been so hot inside I had almost forgotten the fact that it was October. I watched as most of the girls in our group slid their arms into the sleeves of their dates' jackets, and cursed myself for sending Josh away without snatching his extra layers first. My teeth chattered all the way onto the bus.
The ride back was a lot more relaxed than the ride there. People were still dancing and drinking, but thankfully everyone was tired enough from the dance to sit for the most part. Like before, everyone was split up into little groups. Ours was in the very back, passing around a few crushed-up water bottles of liquor and chasers.
"Should we play a game?" Liz suggested, taking a swig of tequila without flinching. She denied the bottle of Sprite offered to her. Brag.
"Only if it involves sitting right here for the duration of the ride," Jonas begged.
"Obviously," Liz said rolling her eyes. She paused, thinking for a moment, and then leaned in. "Okay, never have I ever cheated on an exam."
My friends groaned and a few of them took a drink. "It was an accident!" Grant screamed. "I swear!"
While we jabbed at Grant for "accidentally" cheating, Preston went next. "Never have I ever snuck out past curfew."
This time I was due for a drink. I sandwiched my sip of vodka in between two sips of soda and pretended I couldn't taste it (even though I very much could).
The game went on like this for the duration of the ride, getting increasingly more inappropriate and sexual as time went on. By the end of the trip, we were all pretty tipsy and laughing hysterically at some of the things people were coming up with.
"Grant really?" I managed to say through a fit of laughter. "You think any of us have done that?"
Grant threw his hands up in surrender. "I was hoping Bex would drink."
At this, we descended into more giggles and Bex punched him in the arm.
The bus screeched to a halt, and through the windows, we saw the beautifully decorated Newman residence. It seemed like all the parents in Roseville decided to go a little crazy when it came to hosting events. His entire house was decorated in line with the homecoming dance, but thankfully there weren't any servers or buffet tables in sight.
As we filed off the bus, Grant announced that his parents were home and in the guest house in case of any emergency. He assured us that unless someone was actively dying or something was burning down, they would leave us alone. He concluded his speech with a sweeping grand gesture towards his house. "Enjoy," he grinned.
"Corny," Macey teased as we walked inside.
"Sticks and stones," Grant sang in response.
On the kitchen island were about 15 boxes of pizza and numerous liters of soda. A few coolers that people had dropped off before the dance were stacked by the door. I assumed they contained all the alcohol for the night.
Within seconds, someone had connected a phone to the house sound system and a loud stream of music was flowing throughout the room. I grabbed a solo cup off the kitchen island and tilted it towards the fridge, filling it with water. After a few icy gulps, I pressed the condensed cup to my forehead and let out a deep breath. Now that I was at the lakehouse I realized it would be a lot harder to circumvent all the questions about where Josh was. I didn't know how much he wanted people to know about the situation just yet, but I also couldn't think of a good excuse for his absence. I wondered if I could blame it on some bad shrimp cocktail from the McMansion without getting any of the caterers fired.
Liz must have noticed the sheer panic on my face. She gave my arm a squeeze. "You okay?"
I smiled in her direction and tried to wipe any excess worry from my face. "Sober."
She laughed, grabbing a bottle of vodka in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other. She alternated raising them in the air like a liquor seesaw. "Easy enough fix. Which you want?"
I nodded toward the vodka and she dumped some into my empty cup. I grabbed a liter of soda and added some in, then Liz finished it off by plopping a few ice cubs in. She knocked her cup into mine. "To your first homecoming!" She cheered. We both took a sip and then she lowered her cup onto the island. "Just remember I'm here for you if you need to talk about anything," she reminded me.
I rolled my eyes but I couldn't help but smile. She really was a great friend. "I know and I love you but I'm okay. I swear. I'll fill you guys in after this weekend. Come on, let's find everyone."
The two of us weaved through the mass of people. Our group seemed even bigger now that we were in such an enclosed space. Everywhere we went there were bodies. Bodies dancing in the living room. Bodies playing beer pong. Bodies on the couch involved in a very serious game of Cheers to the Governor.
Our friends were around the coffee table playing and by the looks of it, it was not going well. It was Preston's turn to go, and when he said eleven the entire group groaned in protest.
"PRESTON THE RULE IS SEVEN AND ELEVEN ARE SWITCHED," Bex screamed in a very aggressive and extremely terrifying fashion. "GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ARSEHOLE."
Preston, understandably, looked like he was going to pee his pants.
Liz and I dropped down onto the only available seats, and the group filled us in on all the rules that had been made. We had only made it through three full rounds without anyone messing up when Bex stood to get a refill. "Hey," she paused halfway up from the couch. "Where the hell is Zach?"
Everyone glanced around curiously as if they also had just noticed his absence. It wasn't super weird that he wasn't around considering that the Newman house was so big, but it was really odd that Tina was in the kitchen and he was not. Usually, she was attached to his hip.
"Good question," Grant said as he stood up. He drained the rest of his Lone Star and crushed the aluminum in his palm. "I'll go look for him."
"We'll come with," Preston said, who was still cowering away from Bex. He and Jonas scrambled after Grant.
Once the guys were gone there was really no point in playing anymore, so we stood and headed toward the kitchen. Most people were inside since it was so cold out, but the view from the window showed that someone had started a fire in the backyard pit.
"Should we go outside?" I suggested after pouring myself another drink. I was starting to feel a pleasant fuzzy warmth in my body and it was helping me not feel as nervous about everything.
"Ohhh that sounds fun," Tina chirped, turning away from the conversation she had been having, to look at us. "Let's go!"
I felt a pang of annoyance, that I couldn't explain. Why I had the urge to gatekeep the firepit from Tina I had no idea. But a flare of anger rose in my chest and I took a sip of my drink to placate it. "Yay," I said cheerily.
We headed outside followed by Tina and her little herd. There was already a group there and one glance at them told me that they had been smoking. They looked super high and for some reason that made me start giggling nervously. I probably looked like a psychopath.
"Okay weirdo," Macey chuckled after looking at me. She dropped into a chair and pulled it closer to her so I could sit.
I dropped down, wincing a little as the cold wood touched my bare back, and crossed my legs in front of me. "I laugh when exposed to weed," I admitted to her.
She chuckled and shook her head. "You're something else, Cammie."
"So," Brooke Bowser said, extending her hands towards the fire. She had been smart enough to throw a sweatshirt on over her dress and I was jealous of how warm it looked. "How was everyone's night?"
"So amazing," Tina breathed dreamily. "The dance was so romantic, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, really fun," Macey agreed.
"I danced way too much," Bex admitted.
"I had a blast," I said. The minute I spoke Tina's head swiveled in my direction. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but think it looked like she was baring her teeth.
"Cammie where's Josh?" Her voice was sticky sweet. It kind of made me want to throw my drink in her face.
I fluttered my hand in the air. "Oh, you know. Around."
Tina nodded and took another sip of her drink. Her eyes had the nice clear glaze of someone who was drunk but still drinking. "I didn't see him much tonight it seems like."
My eyes flicked over to Macey willing her to save me. The girls didn't know what happened with Josh but I knew that they had picked up enough to rescue me in my time of need.
Macey, in true heroic fashion, leaned forward. She placed her cup on the edge of the fire pit and examined her nails. "Speaking of missing dates…" She began, picking at a cuticle as if it wasn't perfectly manicured. "Crazy how Zach's been gone all night. Is he hiding from you or something?"
Tina's smile didn't falter but she narrowed her eyes. "He went to sit out by the lake. Honestly thanks for reminding me. I should go check on him actually." She stood abruptly, the Malibu in her solo cup sloshing over the edge a little. We watched her teeter back inside in her tall heels and slide the glass door shut behind her.
"Geez," Liz sighed.
The rest of Tina's posse stayed for a while after that, but eventually, they trickled inside after their leader. The girls and I stayed by the fire pit until our cups were empty, our bladders were full, and we were too cold to stay outside any longer. By that point I was pleasantly drunk, my head was swimming with the colors and sounds around me.
"I think I'm gonna change," Bex announced as we made our way inside. "I need to get out of this dress, plus I wanna find Grant-he's been gone ages."
"That's a great idea," I seconded.
Bex headed off in the direction of her room down the hall with Macey in tow. They were sharing jack-and-jill style rooms with Grant and Preston. I headed upstairs toward the room that me, Liz, Jonas, and Josh would've been sharing. Liz had claimed her dress was comfortable enough to wear for a bit longer, so I was by myself when I reached the second-floor landing.
The lights were off in the hallway, but I could hear voices coming out of the bedroom at the end of the hall. I knew it was Zach and Tina's. I tiptoed toward it like a nosy freak.
Tina was speaking in a low, slurred voice. "Zach baby, come here."
His response was equally as messy. "Tina, no. Sssssssstop, dude. Knnnnnnock it off."
I didn't have time to hear what she said in response because at that point someone else appeared in the hall. Grant emerged from downstairs holding a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.
"Oh hey Cammie," he said, sounding exhausted. His face was serious, an expression I'd rarely seen on Grant. "How is he?"
I shook my head. Basically, I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. Not only had I been caught spying on Zach but now I had to admit that I was spying on Zach and Tina together. I considered playing dead on the floor like an armadillo.
"Um, I haven't gone in, I just heard voices. Tina's in there."
At this, Grant's face twisted into exasperation. "Is she really? Man, she is relentless." He looked over his shoulder towards the stairs to make sure no one was behind him and added, "Zach's, like, really fucked up. I've never seen him this drunk, I don't know what happened. He must've had a hard night or something."
I knew Zach getting drunk was a rare occurrence and that it took a lot of alcohol to get him there. I played back the night in my head and tried to remember him drinking but since he had avoided me like a plague, I was coming up short.
"Oh," was all I managed to say.
"Yeah," Grant sighed. He shook the Aspirin bottle in the air. "Hoping this helps."
I nodded, again not saying anything. I was trying to picture drunk Zach and I couldn't. He was always so in control, always with the upper hand. I wondered if he was still as intimidating when he was drunk.
My mind was wandering, definitely, a byproduct of all the liquor I had had, and Grant took my silence as his invitation to walk past me into the bedroom.
"Jesus, Tina, get off him!" He yelled when he opened the door. At the same time was Zach's slurred, "Sssstop."
I was still standing by the door for absolutely no justifiable reason. I felt like my feet were glued to the spot. I didn't know how to explain it, but my fuzzy head and lowered inhibitions just made me feel like I was watching some teenage sitcom instead of my actual friends.
"Tina you gotta go." Grant snapped. He sounded pissed but I couldn't tell why. "You're being really fucking weird."
There was shuffling inside. Zach mumbled something incoherent and a second later, Tina emerged, her hair now a ruffled mess, and her dress haphazardly on her body. She came to an abrupt halt at the doorway when she saw me and she swayed on the spot, her eyes narrowed.
"God, Cammie. Eavesdrop much?" Her voice was so cold I almost took a step back. She shoved past me to hurry down the stairs, knocking me on the shoulder.
I stared after her, embarrassed.
From inside the room came Grant's voice again. "Here dude, drink some water. No, why are you getting up-what are you doing?"
"Cammie," Zach said. He sounded drunk but much more lucid than he had a few seconds before. "Cammie's here?"
Zach said my real name so rarely that it made me suck in a deep breath. It sounded so pretty when he said it. I wanted to hear it again.
Grant waited for a beat. "Her room's down the hall. Her and Josh."
Zach groaned. Then, "I want to see her."
Grant: "Dude we talked about this."
Zach: Another sound of frustration. "Please."
Grant: a resigned sigh.
I was still standing outside the door when Grant reappeared. He smiled awkwardly at me. Whether he was making that face cause I had already overheard everything or cause he thought it was weird I was still eavesdropping, I didn't know. He rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Zach's asking for you."
I nodded. And when I still didn't say anything Grant hiked his shoulders up into a shrug. "You don't have to go in if you don't want to. I told him earlier you were probably busy but…you know him. He's stubborn."
"Earlier?"
"Yeah, he's been trying to come find you. Can't really walk too straight though," he laughed, this time good-naturedly.
"I see," was dumbly all I managed to say. I genuinely needed to get a grip.
"Okay, well. I'm gonna go see Bex for a little bit," Grant headed towards the stairs. "I miss my girl."
I nodded, watching him descend, then turned towards Zach's bedroom.
I stepped inside.