10.16.1995 "THE RECKONING" 3
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GABRIELLE
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I am Gabriele, and I'm at the height of happiness.
I'm a traveler. An adventurer! A storyteller.
But most importantly, a friend of Xena, the warrior princess.
Xena is a traveling hero. She travels the world, she saves people, she rights wrongs, she saves the world.
Xena may look human on the outside. But inside, she is the goddess of goodness. There's nobody greater than Xena!
That's the secret of Xena. She may look human. But in reality, she is a goddess.
She is invincible. She's all-poweful. She's almighty. I sometimes seriously wonder if she is even human.
She lives her life just so she could help people. She dedicates her whole being to this.
She owns nothing, receives nothing, accepts no reward.
She lives a life of impossible hardship, of constant self-denial.
She has no worldly valuables. She eats what the nature gives her. She sleeps on cold hard ground. She has to catch and prepare every bit of food that she ever eats, herself.
She is the greatest being that has ever lived. But she carries a hidden pain inside her heart. She's in pain because she's caring for the whole humanity. She's carrying our sins for us!
She has nothing, she receives nothing for her feats. But I wish she was rewarded. I wish her sadness would go away. And so, I do my best to be a reward for her. I do my best to cheer her up the only way I know how. I tell her stories!
And it's working. I'm an excellent storyteller! She isn't as gloomy now as she used to be. I'm helping her regain her spirits!
Me and Xena are incredible friends! We understand each other completely. I can see what goes inside her head, at any time!
Her life may be difficult. But I know she loves it. Because this way, she gets to help people.
I know she loves this. Because this is her choice. She's almighty! She could have chosen anythng. But she chooses this.
Just a month ago, I was a village girl. I had a home. But now I live my life with Xena. Now I live the life of impossible hardship, with her. This is very difficult. This is impossible! But I'll endure it with a smile. I learn to love this life to bits myself, because Xena does. If Xena does it, then so will I!
Xena is the embodiment of goodness. The ultimate hero. She wants to save the world, to save humanity.
Other people's happiness, is her happiness.
The whole humanity should aspire to be like Xena. "Xena" should be a concept and not a person. Every person that has ever lived, should try and find their inner "Xena" inside them.
I find this impossible life very hard. But Xena loves it. So will I!
Just a month ago, I was a simple village girl of no particular qualities.
But then I saw Xena. But then Xena saw me.
I saw Xena. And through the act of seeing her, I have realized my truest self.
Xena saw me. She should have seen just a simple village girl. But what she saw, was the potential in me. She saw me and saw the great person that I could be. That's why she took me with her. Because she wants me to become as great as herself.
Together we travel the world, together we save people, together we perform heroic feats.
Except the above is a lie.
In all her sacred holiness, Xena has one character flaw. She is somewhat of a stingy, greedy person.
No matter how much I beg her, she refuses to teach me how to become herself.
Stingy, greedy Xena. She's holding back my true potential.
But it's okay. I'll be patient with her. I'll take my time. One day, I will convince her. And she will teach me her everything, yet.
Except we don't have time. We are traveling warriors, our every day could be our last. If we value what we have, then we should not waste time!
Or so I thought. But of late. I catch mysel thinking. Is that for real? Can our every day really be our last?
Xena is all-powerful, Xena is almighty, Xena is invincible.
There is no such force that could defeat Xena.
I foresee an entire lifetime of never-ending amazement from Xena.
I expect that for every day I know her, I will only be amazed more.
That's why I'm happy. Before now, I was nothing special. But now, I am.
The past is unimportant. Only the future matters.
And I foresee the grandest of all possible futures if I stick with Xena.
To be with Xena is my happiness. When I'm with her, I find my real place.
The world is beautiful because Xena lives in it.
I love this world so much. This world is the world of chance, of opportunity, of never-ending future.
Humanity is gross and dangerous. There are dangers behind every corner. People find it easy to turn to their dark sides when the circumstances call for it.
But it's people like Xena who save the world, who redeem humanity.
Those people who act wrong, they're wrong. But they aren't awful.
They just haven't found their inner "Xena" yet.
I was nothing before I met her. But she saw me. She gave me a chance. And now I'm something.
Everybody, no matter what they seem, should be given chances.
Just a week ago, when we were in the kingdom of Lerna, there was this matter. A reward was assigned for the caprure of a baby. For the death of a baby.
And the whole town, every person, went crazy looking for the baby. A whole town of baby-killers!
But in the end. The baby was rescued. And people helped! Same people that worked to get the baby dead. Have helped save the baby in the end! And are now living happy in the kingdom where the baby is the future king.
That was enough to lose hope in humanity at first. But then the hope is restored. Thanks to Xena.
It is thanks to Xena that humanity can be hoped for. If Xena hopes, then so should we.
Humanity's hope is Xena. If Xena had another name, it would be "Hope".
Xena is the greatest hero that has ever lived. But she has flaws.
Her ourwards appearance is rough, and her people skills are lacking.
She used to hang out with the wrong crowd, she's made a few mistakes.
And as a result, no matter where we go, people do not like her. They attack her, they call her names.
Those people just don't know the kind soul hidden behind her rough appearance.
She may look rough on the outside, but inside, she has the soul as innocent as a baby.
People only see her for her worst. They don't see what's good about her.
I wish the whole world admired her as I do.
If this world doesn't like her, then I will fight the world for her!
And so, I started on my mission to give Xena a better name.
Now every time we enter a new town. I go inside their tavern and in there.
I tell tales about Xena's goodness.
People look at me as if I was a weirdo. They don't understand. I'm a very good storyteller! They just don't see it. But I'll teach them!
Just like people do not see Xena's goodness. They don't see how great a storyteller I am! People don't see how good we are! Me and Xena, we're the same!
I'm so glad that I get to share a trait with Xena.
I'm an incredible storyteller. I have a talent. I can see the truth of things. I can see the depth of things. I can see in things a meaning that nobody else sees. I always see new meaning, everywhere I look. And I make stories out of that.
So now I'm telling tales at taverns, to anyone who'll listen.
So now, thanks to me. The word gets out. That Xena should be loved and not hated.
I am so great. Only a month together, and I'm already useful to Xena in some way!
So one day she'll be happy. When she enters a town. And gets a glorious reception!
With orchestra, fireworks, placards and everything!
For Xena, to be received like that, is my dream. And I have confidence. My every dream will come true.
Xena will be received with an orchestra yet, I know it!
But for now, I've only started, so that future isn't there yet. Another month, perhaps?
So for now, we travel the world, and in every town, people hate Xena, even though they should be loving her.
But just you wait. Soon, I'll change the world for her!
And so, we travel the world, and we are happy about it.
Another morning. We wake up.
The day's so beautiful! Can you see it, Xena? She agrees.
I slept so well. The cold hard ground doesn't bother me anymore. Any sacrifice is worth it for the greater good!
Perhaps the ground used to be hard and cold because it was in spring that we begun our travels? But now that summer's coming, the soil gets warmer and softer?
Or maybe it's not that. Maybe it's not the soil. Maybe it's me who's changing.
Maybe I'm becoming tougher? Or maybe. Happier?
The longer I have Xena, the happier I get.
I used to hate cold. But right now, I'm so happy, I think I could even sleep on ice, if it was next to Xena!
When I'm with Xena, I have strength. I know I wasn't like this a month ago. I've changed!
I love it do much that I'm changing. Before I met her, I was nothing. But now I'm changing into something else!
I don't like my past self very much. I dislike my lack of knowledge. I can't stand my squeaky cleanness. I wish I was like Xena. I wish I also had my own dark spots.
Before I met her, I was nothing. But now that I'm with her, I'm something great!
Our future is our everything. Our every day is our first. Our every moment, is the first moment of our lives.
When I'm walking next to Xena, I feel like I'm being reborn with my every step.
I wonder what is it. What causes me to feel so strong when I'm with Xena. It must be her divine influence, I'm sure.
People become better when they see Xena. That must be it. That's what happening to me.
Her divine presense is affecting me.
And so we get up and go towards our next adventure together. I love adventures so much that I can't wait! I wonder what kind it'll be this time? Whose lives we'll be saving?
She says she'll sell some game in the next village. The village's close, she says.
And so we walk and walk and walk. For hours. Where IS that close village that she promised?
Ugh, my feet are killing me. My boots are wrong for travel. But I love this pain. It's the pain that represents my achievements and my glory. It's the pain I got together with Xena. Any sacrifice is worth it for Xena and what she represents!
She says there's a stream nearby. Hooray! A relief for my poor feet! I couldn't stand it, thought they may fall off!
She says "Don't get lost." Hah! Who? Me? Gabrielle?
This new, and wise, and travel-trained Gabrielle? Me? I would never!
The old me could have been lost in broad daylight! Could have went towards a stream ten feet away, missed it, and traveled to some unknown faraway lands instead!
But it's the new me now! The one that knows what she's doing! The one that doesn't lose her way! The new me who is superior to the past me, in every way!
I'm so proud of myself! Because this new me, I can do anything!
And so I go, with confidence.
Where was that stream again? I can't find it anywhere.
I wander around for a while. But then I find it! It actually was closer than I thought.
I find the stream. And gaaape.
This is the prettiest, most beautiful stream that I've ever seen!
And the reason it's so beautiful? It's because... I found it myself! I'm so great! I'm so proud! I knew I've changed! I knew I grew up! Who else but me! Could have found this! The most beautiful stream in the universe!
I planned to just wash my feet. But this stream is so beautiful. I'm gonna wash my entire self! I only regret Xena isn't with me. I wish we could splash around! I wanna share this happiness with her!
And just as I'm about to, happily. Another happy event happens! I see Xena! She's coming back to me! Just as I wished! Now we're gonna splash!
Hey Xena, how's that hunting going? Come here join me, this stream's so beautiful!
Instead of joining me, she wants me to join her. Oh so serious!
Ushers me to get on the horse. Ush I hate horses. I'm a traveler but I hate horses. I'm a walking contradiction!
And then I see some yelling crowd running at us. Adoring fans, maybe?
But she's running away from them, so guess not!
More people for me to fix later!
And so we ride away, while I'm still half-naked on a horse. I don't know why, but this is making me feel all tingly inside! I feel like I'm doing something wrong, and I like this so much!
I enjoy being naked. I wish I could spend the whole day naked! Or at least in just my underwear. I wish I had the courage to dress like Xena!
We hide in some forest nearby. Xena explains that these people mistakenly think that she's killed someone.
She seems so worried, for some reason. They're only farmers! They can't defeat her!
Actually. This sounds... like my chance!
My chance to prove useful to Xena!
Today, I will perform my own miracle! I will teach these people that they should love Xena!
They think that she's a killer. Well, she is, but the good kind!
They shouldn't blame her for things that aren't her fault! I will explain this to them!
Humans may be gross. But everybody deserves a chance! Because people like Xena exist! Because Xena hopes! So will I!
I will believe in humanity! Because... justice exists! And justice's face... should be Xena! I will explain this to them!
I will hope for these lost souls! I will show them their real path! The path of loving Xena!
Xena describes some guy in a cape killing everybody then disappearing by magic. Aw, Xena is also good at telling tales! Xena's good at everything she does!
And as I'm happily praising her in my mind. Suddenly.
She's telling me to get away from here.
Wow! Suddenly so serious!
She does appear more serious than usual. What's her worry? This is just another adventure! We can do it! We've done worse!
I wonder what's her problem. She seems a little haunted.
Says we have to hide and then leave in the night. That's exciting!
And then night comes. And to my horror. I realize.
We are *hiding*. And that means... no dinner.
...
But I can't live without food! I lose my grip of reality if I don't have enough food!
Xena just tells me to endure it.
... Somehow things seem much more serious than the usual. I don't fully understand. What is going on?
Some guy kills farmers, and the villagers think she did it. That means we should come to them and explain!
But instead. We're hiding and starving ourselves to death.
I wonder what's wrong with Xena. She should relax. Everything's going to be fine!
... Except I'm really hungry and miserable right now. Just when I think I can bear anything, things get worse.
Maybe we shouldn't have stopped for that stream.
The morning comes. This is misery. She said we'll leave by night time. But instead, we waited until morning.
We're barely alive from starvation. But we're coming out anyway.
Because we are strong, independent women, not afraid of hardship.
And because we may have a breakfast once we get outta this awful place.
And so we go back. The same way we came in. Back to the same village we've just escaped from.
Isn't this pointless? What's Xena even thinking?
Sometimes Xena works in mysterious ways.
... I just wish we didn't skip eating, is all.
The mood is heavy. And as I think of somerhing funny to say.
I look at Xena.
...
She is VERY serious.
... Actually, so serious. That I'm starting to get scared myself. Is there something going on that I don't understand, here?
She tells me to get on the horse. Urgently. We are rushing away from here.
I see the villagers. The same people as yesterday? Hi, you wrong, wrong people. If only I had the chance to talk to you!
We rush out. It's all going fine.
And then Argo makes a sudden movement, and I fall. I knew we shouldn't have skipped eating.
I fall of a horse. From such an incredible height! I think I break my butt. But somehow, I survive.
And then the people grab me. Oh well, guess it's the talking time!
I don't think well when I haven't eaten, but I'm up to it!
They throw some ropes onto her, but she cuts them beautifully. Everything Xena does is beautiful. Despite my aching butt and empty stomach, I admire her.
She's beautiful as a dream.
And then Xena gets off the horse and starts talking. Now she'll show them they shouldn't mistreat Xena! Shouldn't make decent ladies fall off horses and skip eating!
Now Xena will teach them her wisdoms!
She tells them to release me. And they listen. They know a wise one when they see her!
And then Xena... drops her sword.
...
I don't understand. But they are angry! She should protect herself! Why is she playing along to them?
I know. She has a surprise plan! Now she'll take an unexpected action, and show these people how it's done!
And then she smiles at me.
And then they... hit her with a shovel.
She falls.
I don't understand what I'm seeing. She is Xena. She doesn't fall.
But she falls. She lies there unconcious. Surrounded by an angry mob with pitchforks.
Surrounded by people... that want her dead.
What... what just happened? What did I just see?
Why... why did she smile at me like that? What's the meaning of this? Someone explain!
Why did that look... like she was saying goodbye?
! ! !
NO! This will not be goodbye! ! !
I don't know what I did afterwards. I think I was kicking and screaming and people were holding me down. I think I lost my mind. I think I've become a mess.
All I could think, was "get your filthy paws off her". All I knew. Is that Xena will be killed right now. And I'm powerless to stop it. All I can do is watch. Worthless and helpless.
All I knew, is that they were manhandling her body, were dragging her around violently. All I could do is scream helplessly. I am pathetic. I am nothing. I can't do a single thing.
All I can do, is watch her get dragged to her death. Just watch.
But... this isn't the end. Because they do not kill her right away.
If they don't kill her... then there's still a chance. Then there's still hope. Then we can still get out of this one.
We just have to fight. We just have to work. We just have to hope.
And then everything will turn out okay.
So she got knocked on the head. She'll live, she's tough. She's a warrior, I'm sure she gets knocked on the head, sometimes. She's a miracle woman, she won't get done in by a random shovel. I believe she's greater than this.
So she's put in prison. That's unpleasant, but it'll pass. We'll just have to get her out.
She allowed them to do this to her. That means she knows what she's doing. Xena always knows what she's doing. I'll believe in her. She has a way out. She has a plan.
All this already happened before. This will be just like in Lerna. A whole town of gross people, who then calm down, and become heroic instead.
I'm sure if we just explain, if we clear things... everything will be alright. All this will be over.
We just have to fight.
They put her in prison. They want her dead. But for now, she'll live.
But what is her plan? Why'd she let them do this, anyway?
If I could just figure her out.
What is she even thinking?
I try and think. And I remember.
WHAT WAS THAT SMILE.
I don't get it. I don't understand.
WHY DID SHE SMILE LIKE THAT.
Why did she let them do this to her. What's wrong with her? What she's getting at?
WHAT WAS THAT SMILE.
Someone explain. I can't make sense of this.
Why. Why did it look like. Xena has...
Given up?
! ! !
That wasn't it! That couldn't be it! That couldn't possibly be what it looked like!
Sure she seemed depressed at first! But then that passed! Then I managed to cheer her up! I cheered her up! With my stories! She's feeling better now!
It can't be that she's given up!
Because Xena is strong! Heroic! Most beautiful being in the world! She is all-powerful! Almighty! Everything she does is correct!
She has the best of all possible lives! She travels the world! She saves lives! She inspires people into greatness!
I wish I was her! I wish I had her life! I wish to have what she has!
How could she possibly, have a life this good, and not like it?! I don't understand! What is wrong with her! Is she out of her mind?!
But I thought we undertood each other! Why does it feel like I don't know her at all?!
When I first saw Xena, I thought she was a goddess. She can do anything and everything. Everybody should aspire to become like her. The whole world should aspire to be like her!
And yet... she doesn't like this goodness that she has? She would choose to leave it? She must be insane!
That's gotta be it! I made sense of this! She must be insane! A temporary madness! A moon phase hallutination. Soon, this will pass, she will come to her senses, and everything will be alright!
She will simply explain everything! She will resolve this matter! And then we will simply go away! Away from this awful village! We will go, and forget about this whole thing!
Everything will be as it was before! This whole thing will be as if it never happened!
And then we'll be happy together! Just like we were yesterday!
We had such a good yesterday! How could tomorrow turn out like this? But it's alright! I have hope! I have faith! Things couldn't possibly be as bad as they seem!
Sure, they roughed her up a bit. But she's a warrior, I'm sure she's taken worse. She's tough, she can take a hit or two.
Everything will be alright. We just have to live through this.
But still. I don't understand. Why did she smile like that. Why did she give up.
But I thought I was cheering her up with my stories. Guess this means my stories aren't very good. I just need to get better.
I don't understand.
Please, Xena. Please don't give up.
Please don't give up the goodness that you have now.
Please don't give up what WE have now.
Please. I beg you.
If you still feel like giving up. Then all I have is to convince you not to.
I will use my skill of conviction. My talking skills. My confidence. My knowledge of my great destiny. I'll use every tool I have available.
And I'll convince you to like what you have. Just you see. You'll like your life yet. I'll make sure of that.
And then I go into her prison. My gods, they have stripped her and shackled her in the most humiliating position in the world!
My heart is breaking. I can't see this.
My proud, beautiful Xena. Is being humiliated.
The best hero in the world. The goddess of goodness. Is being treated like a criminal!
This world is wrong. Humanity is wrong!
Why does everybody hate Xena? Why does it feel like I'm the only one that likes her?
Why is she staying in these humiliating shackles? I'm sure she could get out any moment she wants!
And why... just why... did she let them do it? Why didn't she fight back? Why didn't she protect herself?
Why does she choose this for herself?
Says she couldn't slaughter peasants. But that's not true, I know it! She didn't have to! She's Xena! She's almighty! She has many skills! She could have just scared them away! She could have fought! She could have protected herself!
I have SEEN her take on entire armies alone, unarmed! I have seen her overcome impossible odds, without hurting anyone! I know that this is something she can do!
So why? Why? Why, oh why.
Why does she not protect herself.
She says some nonsense but I don't listen.
Xena. Please be stronger than this. Don't let your feeling down get the best of you! Have faith! You can do better! You will get justice!
She's sarcastic. She has no faith.
So this is it. She's feeling down. She's lacking faith.
But just you wait, Xena. I have enough faith for the both of us.
I wanted to make the world love you. I treated it like a hobby.
But now. It looks like we have a need to make these people love you.
That means. This is my goal!
I am Gabrielle, and I'm a storyteller! I have the power of conviction, and I have deadly talking skills! And I have the knowledge of my great destiny!
But most of all! I have the faith that this is wrong! That everybody knows that this is wrong! That these people have only done this in the heat of the moment!
But once they calm down, they'll know! They'll realize their error! They'll realize the horror of their ways!
Just like those people in the kingdom with the baby! They all sought the death of a baby! En-masse! But in the end! They fought to protect him!
The same thing will happen here! These people will know they have to love Xena, yet!
Humanity may look bad at a first glance! But people aren't terrible! If Xena hopes, then so will I!
And if Xena doesn't hope. Then I'll hope for her!
I said I'd fight the world for her! And now I will!
And so I go out. It's my turn to shine now! I'll prove my worth! The hero of this story will be me!
Right now. Xena is in trouble! And the one to save her, will be me!
I thought whose lives we'll be saving. Looks like it'll be Xenas's!
I go towards the city hall! I speak to the village leader!
I DEMAND justice from him!
The elder's calm, unlike his people. Good! It means I can talk reason to him! It means I can apply my magic talking skills to him!
He says there'll be a hearing. Good! So there'll be justice! But who'll protect her? It should be me!
But he... won't let it. Because the crowd... thirsts for blood.
And he... he plays along to that.
But if he plays along... If this will go as the crowd wants...
They actually... won't give her a fair trial!
No! That can never happen! Justice should prevail!
But he won't listen. I tried talking. To a reasonable man. And yet. My talking skills have failed me! My power of conviction didn't save the day!
If this goes on... then they'll pronounce her guilty. And then... they'll execute her!
And if that is law... then that is justice. It's justice... for Xena to be killed.
NO! I won't allow it! I tried reason, reason didn't work! What else is left to me? I have nothing! What do I do?
We hear screaming from the outside. No... this can't be what I think!
We rush out. And I see.
They've brought her out. They've brough horse carriage to her. Along with ropes.
They are going to kill her right now.
And she still stands there. She still lets them do it!
But they stopped with the baby. Why aren't they stopping now?
Last time. We were in luck. They wanted to. But they didn't do it.
But now. One hour later. We're back to where we started.
And again. There's nothing I can do to stop this.
Oh Xena. Why aren't you fighting? What is wrong with you? Don't you realize what they're going to do?
How can they do this! Don't they know! Xena is the hope of humanity! They should worship her, not kill her! I'll teach them!
I tried reason. Reason didn't work. My skills have failed me. And I don't have many.
Xena is going to get killed right now.
What else do I have? My talking skills, what else?
...
I thought that before I was nothing. That I grew a lot since I walked out.
But actually. I haven't grown a bit. A month with Xena. And I'm still nothing.
I have nothing.
I have no means to make all this go away.
All I have. The only thing I have. Is just my life. Nothing else.
I know! I'll make a show of this!
Let me put a rope around my neck! Now this will show them!
Now they will see how wrong they are! Now they'll change their minds! Now they'll let Xena go!
And as I do that. I put a rope around my neck. I realize.
This isn't a joke at all.
I'm... serious about this.
If we can't get out... if they do kill Xena...
Then I want to die with her.
Why... why are things like this? Everything is wrong! Everything isn't how it should be!
Our entire universe is a universe of wrong!
Through the mist in my eyes I see Xena, saying something unimportant to me. Oh shush you! It's your fault we're in this situation. If only you'd fight!
Look, I tried and failed. Now it's your turn! Fight for yourself!
Still you won't.
Stingy, greedy Xena! You won't even live for my sake!
I would die for you! But you won't live for me!
You are horrible! You are a monster!
You disgust me! I wish we never met!
The village leader interfers. He puts a stop to this.
A miracle has happened. We won't be killed now!
Thank you, village leader! You've given us a miracle!
There will be a hearing! And if we just have that. Then we have hope! Then we can change things! Then justice will prevail!
I will believe. I will have hope. Because it would be too horrible.
So I will believe. I will believe in justice.
Because to hope. Is all I have. Nothing else.
There will be justice.
Xena will be acquited. Xena will be free. Xena will be rewarded. Xena will be loved.
There will be justice for Xena. She will get what she deserves.
I will believe.
I will have this faith support me.
Because right now. Xena's worthless. She cannot support herself.
And that means... there's nothing supporting me, either.
I'm just a village girl. I have no skills. I'm just sixteen. I'm out of my depth. I'm scared witless.
And Xena who's supposed to be my support. Is doing nothing.
So I'll believe.
Because if I don't. I'll fall apart.
And I can't afford to fall apart. Because if I'm not there. Xena will have nobody.
The whole world hates Xena. I'm the only one that likes her.
Without me, she'll be alone.
Right now, she's being weak. That means I have to be strong. For both of us.
I will be strong for Xena. I will not let her be alone.
So I'll believe. She won't believe. But I will, for both of us.
There will be justice. I'll believe!
And as I think that. The elder permits me to lawyer for her.
...
I knew it. I knew that I only need to stay hopeful. I only need to be strong.
And then, our miracle will come. Thank you, village elder! You have given us a miracle!
And it's came true. I'll be her defendant! My hopes are fulfilled!
Now there is hope. Now there's a chance.
No. Now there's a CERTAINITY.
I WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOR XENA.
Just you watch me. You evil world that hates Xena.
I'll prove you wrong. I'll fight the world for Xena.
And I will win. There will be justice.
I will use my skills. My every opportunity. My every chance.
And if I lack. Then I will improve. I'll multiply. I'll change myself. I'll grow.
I'll develop new skills I never thought possible. I'll overcome myself.
I will become a brand new me.
And I will rescue Xena.
There will be justice. I'll teach these wrong, wrong people.
That they should love Xena.
I'll dedicate my entire soul to this.
Just you wait, Xena. These people'll love you yet.
I go into her prison. They shackled her again. Thankfully, not into the previous, humiliating, position.
Oh Xena, why do you allow this? Why do you choose death? What's wrong with you?
I don't understand her at all. But I thought we understood each other! But I thought we were friends!
And now she chooses death. And I don't understand her at all.
Guess I'm just always wrong about everything. I always let my imagination run, and look away from what's real. Is this why I don't understand what's going on, at all?
I thought Xena is the greatest possible. I thought she loves what she has. I thought we were friends.
But now. She chooses death again and again. She chooses prison, she chooses humiliation!
Why? Why does she hate herself so much? Since when is she like this?
Was she... always like this? And I didn't see?
She was always suffering, and I was always looking way from it? And I was thinking she enjoys her life? And I was calling her a goddess? And I was expecting the world from her?
While all the while. She was sufering inside. While I was happy.
Gods. I'm awful. I'm the worst human being that has ever lived.
Fogive me, Xena. I was a bad friend! But I'll do better now. I'll pay more attention!
I won't me playing with the imaginary you anymore! I'll try, and I'll see the real you!
What is wrong with you, Xena? Why are you choosing this? Why do you punish yourself?
Is it your past? You've made a few mistakes, so now you feel bad about them? Are you being dragged down by your past? Is that it? You shouldn't let that get to you! Be above your past!
She scolds me. Silly Xena. She doesn't understand that's what friends DO!
What did she expect from me? To stand there watching? That's not me! Nobody would do that!
She keeps saying she wants me to leave. What is she, nuts? One doesn't leave a friend in trouble!
Xena fights for the entire humanity! Xena puts her life on line for strangers!
If Xena does this. Then so will I! ! !
Xena fights for the whole humanity. But the whole humanity fights Xena. That means, I will fight the whole humanity for her!
Xena risks her life for strangers. But nobody will protect her. I can't stand it. It's too sad!
I will protect her!
I will believe for her! I will be strong for her! I will be smart for her!
And now I'll go investigate for her. I'm sure if we just look, we'll find something.
It can't be there's no hope.
The circumstances may be dire. But we should hope!
You may think there's no hope. You may think this misfortune is your destiny. But that's not true!
People should be the builders of their own destinies! Do not give up! I'll fix your destiny for you!
She's sad, but I'll cheer her up! Just you wait, Xena! Things are not as bad as they seem! I'm sure if I just look around, I'll shatter this whole case to bits! I pronounce that at her happily, loud and clear, so she can hear it, so she gets it. I will eject her with my strength! Stay hopeful, you gloomy fool!
Now that I've ejected her with hopes. She should feel better now! I leave.
And I go investigate. Towards the crime scene.
And all it takes is a glance. I immediately notice.
The footprints. Why didn't anyone think of that?
I confirm and measure. It's true. It all matches!
I have my proof! I have created hope! I've changed destiny!
Our destiny is what we make of it! Now I know! Now I confirm!
Now this whole matter will be over. Now I have saved Xena!
I rush back the the village with all my speed. Hurry, village elder, hurry up! What if the footprints just go away?
This chance is too important. I won't let it slip!
I won't let anything ruin our destiny!
I bring him back. I make him run. He listens. Faster, grandpa, faster! Our destiny escapes us!
And we make it back. We look.
The footprints are gone.
...
I look, and I look again.
I look at the ground I've only looked at, ten minutes ago. The place where there were footprints. And now... there's nothing.
How... can that be? But I'm sure I saw them!
I know I'm crazy, but surely not this amount?
What's going on? This doesn't make sense. Things are getting really weird right now.
I sense foul play. Something fishy's going on.
The footprints were there since yesterday. But then I go and see them. I look away, and next minute, they disappear.
...
Is there a third party playing this? Did someone, somehow... erase those footprints? Right after I've discovered them? How did they know?
Because... they saw me go to them? Saw me find them?
Is someone... watching?
...
Is there someone... watching me right now?
...
How did they know to look at me just when I went to find evidence?
Is that person... watching everything that's going on? Is that why they saw me go?
Is it that man? He killed people. And now he's watching how this unfolds?
He's... watching this? Why?
He killed people, and that put Xena in prison.
And now he's watching everything and erases evidence.
Does he... want Xena in prison?
Xena said there's more going on than meets the eye. Is that what she meant?
And she can't tell me... because the man is watching. He's listening to everything we say?
And she's staying quiet about this? Why? Why won't she tell this?
Because... he's killed people? So now... she won't tell this... because she's afraid for me?
Because, if he killed them. Then he may kill me?
Oh Xena. Is this what's happening? Is that why it looks like you have given up?
Are you actually waiting? Plotting? For a way out? Is that what's going on?
But they were going to lynch you just before. And you were letting them.
That's no way of doing things!
Whatever this power is that's doing this, you should fight! You can't give up!
Because if you give up... then everything is over.
Please don't let everything to be over. Please fight this!
Fight, and win!
Please, Xena. Please fight for yourself.
Because I'm here. And I will fight for you!
I'm not afraid of danger! Because Xena is afraid of nothing! I'll fight! If Xena fights, then so will I! And if she won't, then I'll fight for her!
Just you wait, you invisible villain! We'll show you to your place!
And then the hearing happens. The moment of decision.
The moment when I prove myself to Xena. The moment I grow up. When i prove my real value. When my real life is starting. When I become my truest me.
The moment we get justice. The moment Xena gets saved by me.
They want to bring her there in her underoos. But I'm adamant. I insist.
She will be given dignity. She will not be humiliated publicly again.
And my talking skills work. I knew I had this. They give her back her dress. And some of her armor. Whatever I can get.
I'm relieved. Her dignity is saved. She won't be wandering around in her underoos again. They aren't clean.
The hearing happens. They testify the witnesses.
I do it all. I give my everything. And it works! I'm doing good! They listen to what I'm saying!
This whole case. It's a complete bullcrap! You just poke it, and it all falls apart!
Whoever cooked this, did not think this through!
I hope he's watching this right now! Because I wanna stick my tongue out at him!
And I was worried! And Xena was feeling down! And in the end. All of it, was nothing!
That's it! The matter is resolved! There will be justice! Xena's saved! The world is saved! Humanity is saved!
Reason won! Bloodthrist lost! Humanity won! JUSTICE won!
Justice. Justice's real. It exist. We can feel safe. Injustice doesn't happen! The world! Humanity is saved!
And then they bring the surviving victim.
And what he says... is only damning. I try to reason! But they won't let me.
Anger wins. Reason loses.
And I look at this. And think.
Justice... cannot win this one.
I couldn't do anything. I gave this everything I had. And it wasn't enough.
But I won't give up. The is no hope. But I'll keep fighting. I'll keep fighting to my dying breath.
I watch the council meeting. I do my best to interfere.
But they won't listen.
It looks... like they have it all decided. Decided this from the get-go.
And nothing that I ever did, made a bit of difference.
I gave it everything I had. And I was not enough.
There is no justice.
There's only power. Only circumstances. Only destiny.
Humanity loses. Evil wins.
At first I thought. They don't like Xena. But I'll fix them. But actually. Screw them. I don't care.
If they don't care about Xena, then I don't care about them.
This hearing. This doesn't look good. If this is what happens... then next morning...
They will execute her. For a crime she did not commit. For trying to protect them. For saving that surviving man's life.
She will be dead for it. Executed. By law.
Which makes it justice. Xena's death... is justice.
Xena is the best of all heroes. The embodiment of goodness. She lives her life just so she could save people. She sacrifices everything that she could have ever
had, because she wants to save the world. She wants to save humanity.
And humanity's justice is for Xena to die.
And she... was about to let herself be lynched just this morning.
She has given up. She won't fight this.
I wondered if it's true that every day could be our last. What a fool. I grew overconfident. And now it looks like this is it. Looks like... this will be our last.
When morning comes... she'll be pronounced guilty. And then she'll be executed.
I did my best to change this. But nothing works.
That's... destiny. That's what's gonna happen. Nothing I ever did could change it.
I fought with my all. But Xena never lifted a finger.
Xena gave up... because she knew there's no hope. That all resistance's futile.
From the beginning. Xena has accepted that her destiny. Is to die.
I fought this with my all. But Xena didn't. And the result's same.
We lost. Destiny won. We can't change a thing.
Right now. What's left... is waiting. All we can do. Is wait for the inevitable what's coming.
That's what Xena did. And she was right. Her destiny has always been to die.
And now she'll be killed by justice.
I will watch her death. And then I'll... continue living.
Living my life without her.
Only remembering her... as that chance I had. But missed.
She will be dead. And I'll be alive.
And the hooded man. The one who did all this.
He will live. And he will laugh. He will gloat. He will be happy.
That... murderer. That monster.
Goodness will lose. Evil will win.
I don't want this. I hate this. There SHOULD be justice!
Justice is when the innocent is protected. When the guilty pay for their crimes.
But it looks like that can never happen.
It looks like real justice, does not exist.
A hero like Xena should live.
A murderer like him should die.
Murderers should not be allowed to get away with their crimes.
A world in which they do. Is disgusting beyond all measure.
Our world. It disgusts me. I hate it all.
I don't want to live in a world in which murderers are happy.
I don't want to live in a world in which Xena gets no justice.
I don't want to live in a world in which there's no justice.
If this is our world. Then screw it. Screw the world!
If Xena's death is justice. Then screw justice.
If in the eyes of humanity Xena is a criminal that deserves death.
Then screw humanity.
If Xena living is against the law.
Then I want her to be a criminal.
Then I want to be a criminal together with her.
If Xena wants to accept all this bullcrap. Then screw XENA. Her opinion doesn't matter anymore.
She will be alive. I'll make sure of that.
If reason didn't save her. Then screw reason.
if it's a world of power. Then we should go by force.
Screw law. I want to be a criminal on the run together with Xena.
She will live.
Now I know everything. I've figured it all out. She's being framed by some ungodly pervert. And she has given up. She accepts it.
Well, she won't be accepting that no more.
I'll go to her and talk some sense into her.
I will convince her that we should run.
My reasoning don't work. My talking skills keep failing me.
But Xena's good. So she will listen. She won't reject me.
Right now, I have nothing left.
All that's left is my belief in Xena.
And so I go to her prison. To convince her she should live.
To convince her that she should be happy.
The door's unlocked. I get in. And I see her.
She's out of her cell. Good! Time to go. Hurry up before they catch us!
As I get close. Something strikes me hard.
I get knocked off my feet and fly across the room.
The pain's unbearable.
What was it? What hit me?
I look up. And I see.
A murderer. A monster. An abomination.
And that creature is... Xena.
Looking at me with murder in her eyes.
Murder targeted at me.
... What? What's going on? Why am I seeing this?
Why do I look at Xena... and see a monster?
No. This is scary. This is much too scary.
This whole universe is scary.
My fear is me. It's everything I am.
I don't know how. But I gather up my legs and run.
I run away from THAT.
And as I run. My fear is being overcome.
It's overcome with pain.
My soul hurts.
It hurts.
My whole being hurts.
My pain is everything.
My pain is all I am.
This pain is overwhelming.
I can't stand it. I crumble and I cry.
Why does it hurt so much?
What is this pain?
I never felt this much pain before.
I've been whipped many times before. And it never hurt so much.
Why does it hurt so much? This much pain should be nothing.
Yet it hurts so much. It's like my very soul has been torn to shreds. It's like my very heart has been torn to pieces.
It hurts so much that I can't stand it.
What is this pain?
Why does it hurt to much?
...
It hurts so much... because I love her.
I love her! And she hits me.
That's why it hurts. What's hurting me... is love.
I am in pain because I love someone that would hit me.
I love her so much. But she hits me.
...
How can I make it good.
...
She didn't mean to. It was an accident. She wasn't in her right mind. She didn't know it was me. She thought it was someone else.
...
None of this works. Those are excuses.
But I saw it.
I saw the murder in her eyes.
That wasn't an accident. That was what she wanted to do.
Was I really that much of an annoyance to her? But I tried so hard to be good.
...
How can I make it good.
When you want to excuse a husband that beats his wife. They say "he beats her because he loves her."
I always thought those were some horrible words.
But now... will I have to live by them?
Can I say... "Xena hit me because she loves me. I probably deserve that."
...
I can't say that. You don't hit those you love.
I can't make it right. It was wrong of her to hit me.
Xena... is wrong.
I... don't want Xena to be wrong.
...
How can I make it good?
...
I can't.
Xena hit me... because she is wrong.
Xena... is wrong.
How can I make it good?
I don't want Xena to be wrong. I want her to be right.
But I can't do it. I can't make it right.
All I can do... is endure it.
What I have to do... is be strong.
I need to be strong.
If only I'm strong.
Then I could live with someone that hurts me.
If only I'm strong.
Then I could endure it if she'll do it again.
I will bear with it. I'll be strong.
I'll be strong enough to live with someone that hurts me.
I'll be strong for Xena.
Because I love her. I will forgive her.
And I hope. That I'll be strong enough. To keep forgiving her. For my entire life. If she keeps doing this.
...
I will be strong enough for this.
For love.
Because I want Xena to be happy.
Because I want Xena to live.
But still. Why did she do it?
Why is she like this?
I've been doing good to her! And yet she hits me!
She's been worthless! Yet I would be her strength!
Why would she do it? Why would she go from being worthless, to hitting me, instead?
Why is she letting all this happen? Why won't she fight them, but will fight me?
Why is she giving up upon herself?
Is it her past? Is it her mistakes? She's made a few mistakes, so now she's feeling bad about it?
But I do it all, I do everything for her, why would she be mad at me?
If she hates me, then why does she let me be with her?
Did she let me be with her because she expected more from me, but I disappoint her?
Am I her mistake?
Did she expect me to get her out of this one, but I couldn't, so now shes mad? Is that it? Was she running a test for me, but I failed it?
...
I am her mistake?
She regrets being with me? She wants me gone?
But if I leave. She'll have nobody! The whole world hates her! I'm the only one that likes her!
How can she want me to leave? If I'm gone. Then she will be alone!
She's feeling down! She shouldn't be alone! I don't want her to! But she wants me gone. How do I handle this?
If she wants me gone. Then she is wrong! She should want me!
She... is wrong. She is mistaken.
I... am her mistake. But not in the way I thought.
Xena... is imperfect. She makes mistakes.
And now she's feeling down because of her mistakes.
And now she's giving up because of that.
Whatever she did. May have been wrong. But she shouldn't condemn herself for this.
She should learn, and do better. I will help her!
Right now I left her. Right now she's all alone.
She's feeling down already. And now, I'm sure, she's also feeling down because of me.
I won't let her! She is someone so good. I won't let her feel bad over me. It's only me. I'm not worth feeling down about!
I will forgive her. I will support her. And I will do it all to make her live!
I don't care what I have to do. I don't care if I do something horrible. I don't care if I hate myself.
I will sacrifice anything for Xena.
I don't care how much she hurts me.
I will do it all to make her live.
Right now. I will come back. And I will try another time. I'll talk reason into her.
But what if... she's gonna hit me first, once more? What then?
Do I have... to be afraid of Xena, now?
...
Do I need to look at her... and think... "When's the next time"?
...
No. I won't be that.
I refuse to live in fear. The world is dangerous enough by itself. I will have courage.
I will be brave enough.
I will believe.
Xena's good. She's incredible. She sacrificed everything she could have had, just so humanity could live.
She may have hit me. But she didn't mean to. I'll convince myself it was just that.
I will believe in Xena.
I will be strong enough for the both of us.
And so, I'll go. Back to her. And try once more. Convince her she should leave.
But last time... the prison door was unlocked. And Xena was out of her cell, beating people up.
Maybe she left already? Without me?
...
No. She wouldn't do that. Right now. Somebody is framing her, and she has given up. And I'm doing everything to get her out. And she hits me for it.
Xena isn't somebody so terrible as to just up and leave me there.
Xena isn't somebody terrible. I will believe.
Xena's good. She may have hit me, but I'm sure she's sorry.
How could I ever doubt her.
She wouldn't leave.
She's probably still there, in her prison.
When the door was unlocked and she could've gotten out.
I knew she could have gotten out of her shackles any moment she wanted. But she didn't. She chose prison.
So now... she's probably still in prison. Not in shackles. With the door wide open. But she won't leave.
Xena's real prison is herself.
...
That's so depressing. That's even worse than if she was in shackles.
If it's just shackles, then we can break them.
But if the prison is her own self. How do I get her out?
...
This is difficult. I cant figure it out.
All I know. Is that she has to live. Just that.
So I'll go back into her prison. And try another time. Try and convince her she should live.
She wants to stay there. She lets herself be executed.
But I'll tell her she should go free. Reason's failed. But I'll try reason, anyway.
But my talking skills are worthless. They have failed me completely.
And I have nothing else.
I'm just a village girl. I'm just sixteen. I'm out of my depth, I'm scared out of my wits.
I have the strength to be forgiving.
But I don't have the strength to be reasonable anymore.
If I come back. And Xena will not listen. Then...
Then there's nothing left for me to do anymore.
If it's the world of power... then all I have... is to drag Xena out of that prison by force.
But... Xena is invincible. Nobody can overpower Xena.
Xena is almighty. Nobody can force Xena into doing what she doesn't want.
I... cannot defeat Xena.
I'm already forgiving her. I'm already standing up for her.
I'm already fighting the whole world for her.
I can't do all that. And also fight HER for it.
I'm just a village girl. And I have nothing.
...
I am nothing.
There's nothing I can do.
If Xena doesn't want to. Then.
I can't make Xena live.
But... I will not stand there and watch her die.
I can't fight Xena. That's impossible.
...
But if that's what I have to do.
Then I'll just do the impossible.
I'm nothing. And I'll fight Xena so she could live.
Even if there's no hope. I'll keep fighting to my dying breath.
I will give up on anything. But I won't give up on Xena!
I'm ready! And I'll go!
And as I decide that. I raise my eyes to get up. And I see... Argo!
!
The most beautiful creature in the universe! I love her! She's our saviour!
Thanks to her, we have a chance!
I'm nothing! My every skill has failed me! I have nothing else! But not anymore! Now I have something! Now I have Argo!
I am dumb and I am helpless. But Argo is both smart and strong! Argo can do what I can't! She can get Xena out of prison!
Xena is so lucky that she has Argo. They make the perfect team. Perhaps they were born just so they could meet? I think they may be soulmates!
Argo's strong and Argo's smart. Smarter than me for what I plan to do.
If I can't get Xena out the civil way. Then to Tartarus with civility! Humanity that wants Xena dead, isn't worth saving.
I will fight humanity to protect Xena.
Well, I can't, because Xena won't teach me. So I'll have Argo do that for me!
I'm sure Argo will agree with me when I explain what's happening! I'm sure Argo will also want Xena to live! Argo is my ally in this! Ally against Xena!
Me and Argo will force Xena to live whether she wants to or not!
First we'll get her out. Then we'll make her happy!
And if she still doesn't want to. Then I will destroy that damned prison with my bare hands, and pull Xena out by the hair! And Argo'll help me!
I will force her to live! Want to or not!
I will fight Xena to make her happy! I will fight her with my whole being!
I will make Xena live even if I have to kill her for it! ! !
And I will win! Because I want this more than she does! I will defeat her, and then I'll make her happy!
And then I'll force her to live! Live a long and happy life! And she will enjoy every bit of it! Because I said so! That makes it law!
I decide all this. I explain to Argo everything. And she listens! She agrees!
I actually climb her and ride her! For the first time on my own! And she lets me! I know she hates me. But she allows this for Xena. Both me and her love Xena very much. Both me and her will do everything for Xena!
Argo is the best ally I could have ever wanted! Forgive me, Argo, I didn't value you before! But now I know! You are the best horse in the universe!
And as I bring Argo to the prison to destroy it. Xena stops me.
Something is different about her.
She asks me to leave, but it's different this time.
This time, she has confidence. This time she has strength. This time, she intends to live.
Oh Xena, I knew you would change your mind! I never doubted you!
I will leave this time, but only because you asked nicely. And only for a little while.
Because I see it now. Now you don't intend to say goodbye.
Now you have strength in your eyes. Now I will believe you.
And so I leave. I will leave happy. Because Xena's found her strength. Now she knows what she's doing. Now she has a plan.
Now I don't need to be strong anymore. Such a relief! I nearly crumble.
Still a few hours until her execution. What do I do?
Oh. That reminds me. I haven't eaten in two days.
I had forgotten. I can't live without food!
My stomach's rumbling. Good thing that Xena's taught me a few things about foraging.
I go into the forest and dig some edible roots.
I'm not very good at it. But it's something.
I may be nothing. But at least. Xena's taught me how to survive.
So I'll have that.
The morning comes. Her verdict is right now.
She acted confident. So I'll believe!
They bring her our of her prison. Still bound. Still on her way to her execution.
But I see. She's confident. She's smiling.
That means she knows what she's doing. She'll show them yet!
...
She's smiling on her way to her execution.
I like to think she's in control... but what if... the other option... she's insane?
I haven't considered that before. Have I miscalculated?
They pronounce her guilty. She doesn't run.
Instead... she talks to thin air. While smiling.
She is insane.
I think I should have never trusted her. I should have dragged her out by the hair, after all.
And just as I have my doubts. Xena casually... ressurects the dead.
...
Every time I think she can't really be a goddess. She pulls stunts like this.
Xena. Just what ARE you? Are you so skilled, that you can ressurect the dead, too?
And you spent this whole time rotting in prison, waiting for your execution? You should aspire higher.
And humanity hates her? This... miracle-worker?
Humanity couldn't be more wrong.
The ressurected men tell what really happened. That Xena wanted to rescue them! That Xena is a good, selfless hero! That Xena is the embodiment of hope!
And with this. My dream becomes true. I wanted to fix these people. And now they're fixed. Now the people of this village know that they should love Xena! Mission accomplished. Goodness wins!
Oh. And that reminds me. The victims aren't dead.
She's pronounced not guilty.
Justice. Justice exists!
And justice's right. Because it chooses life for Xena!
Humanity's disgusting. But now. It was given another chance.
Xena's fought the world, and won.
Xena's fought destiny, and won.
Xena has decided her own destiny.
And her destiny. Is glory neverending.
Xena. The more I know you. The more you amaze me! The more I love you.
I thought humanity's disgusting. I thought I hate this world if this is it.
But now. Now I know. There is always a chance, no matter how bad things seem.
How could I ever doubt humanity! Humanity that loves Xena is correct!
Xena. Right now. You have saved the world to me.
I love this world so much. This world is the world of chance, of opportunity, of never-ending future. And it's Xena that makes it so.
And so we leave. Xena thanks me for not abandoning her. Hah! After spending all this time begging me to leave! Silly Xena! She doesn't know what she wants, herself!
Says she owes me. That reminds me. I have a message I want her to receive.
But how do I tell her this? I've spent all this time thinking thinking we're best friends. But as this adventure taught me. I don't know her at all.
I tend to write the story of my life too much. I get too into it.
And my talking skills. They don't serve me well at all.
And as a storyteller, I have a flaw. I get too wordy. I use so many words, that the meaning gets lost in them.
I spent all this time trying so hard to cheer Xena up with my stories. And none of it worked. Xena didn't get my meaning, not a bit.
That means if I want to tell her how I feel... I should do that wordlessly.
How can I tell her how much I love her in a way that she would understand?
...
I know. I'll punch her.
Understand me, Xena. Undestand what this punch means.
It means "you are not alone". It means "I'll be there for you". It means "I forgive you". It means "Don't feel bad". It means "We're even". It means "You and me are equals". It means "Be happy".
It means "I love you".
Please understand this, Xena.
And so I punch her. In her most punchable area. Her boobs. She does have such nice boobs. I wish I had them. They are very distracting. She's going to make a good mother someday.
And as I do... AAAH! I think I broke my hand. I forgot she's wearing armor! I didn't think this through.
She probably didn't understand anything at all. I don't really know what I'm doing.
But it's okay. Our every day may or may not be our last. But we may still have a little time. We'll work it out. We'll understand each other yet.
All I know. Is that I'm at the height of happiness. Because I'm with you.
And as we go. I'm dying from curiosity. How did she do that? How did she ressurect the dead? She should teach me to do that, too.
And she tells me all about it. Xena is telling me a story! And she's good! I should learn from her! About who did it and why. Ares, the god of war. As she tells me about him. I decide upon my opinion of him.
So he's a pervert.
First Morpheus wants virgin sacrifices. Now Ares kills innocents to blackmail an unwilling woman to be his queen. Ugh!
It seems like the gods of Olympus are a worthless bunch, so far. Why are we even worshipping them? What is Zeus even doing? He should watch his subjects better!
We go on our way. And I ponder.
This whole story. All of it, is Xena's victory. Hers alone. None mine.
I thought that I grew. I thought I was tough, I thought I was smart.
But as this story proves. Not at all. Not a bit.
I couldn't do anything at all. Xena did all of it. I couldn't help her in any way. I couldn't do a single thing.
I thought that I grew. But in reality. I'm nothing.
Even my stories aren't any good.
There is no way at all for me to help Xena in any way. I'm just her baggage. I'm just her burden. I'm just her charity case.
That's very selfish of me to burden her this way.
And I keep doing this. I keep thinking myself greater than I really am, again and again.
And I keep making Xena pay for my mistakes.
I thought I was cheering her up. But in reality, she's feeling terrible. Nothing I do, is any help at all.
I thought I was a great storyteller. I thought I has deadly talking skills.
And all this time, I couldn't do a thing. I have no skills at all that can do good to anyone.
I thought we were friends. But in reality... I don't understand her at all.
Xena. She is an enigma I can't solve. Every time I think I understand her, her meaning escapes me.
She was choosing death again and again. She was suffering this whole time. And I did not see that, at all.
I was closing my eyes the whole time. Right until it was almost too late.
I'm a failure as a human being. I call us friends, but in reality. I do not care at all. All I do, is write my own stories. I don't see the real her, at all.
I thought she was almighty, I thought she can't be defeated. I'm so selfish. I catch myself doing it again and again. But I keep putting Xena on a pedestal. I keep expecting the impossible for her.
I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't try and make her into that which she can't be. I shouldn't try and have a relationship with an ideal. I should try and have a relationship with a person. A human being.
I don't want an imaginary ideal. I want the real thing.
And for that, I need to lose my illusions. I need to learn and see the real her.
And I don't know anything at all. I still have so much to learn.
And so, we go. I look at her and wonder.
What is it exactly, that I have with Xena?
We only met a month ago, yet I love her so much.
I love her so much, I would die for her.
I wonder why. Why do I feel so strong about her.
That's gotta be... because she's a hero.
She's a hero so great, she's a goodness so strong, that she inspires people into greatness.
So she's just insipired me into greatness, for her.
She's so inspirational, that she even inspired ME into having courage.
That's gotta be it. Nothing more than that. I'm just inspired, is all.
People don't feel for each other as strong as I feel for Xena. I'm just being a weirdo again, I know it.
For me to be weird is normal. Nothing more than that.
I'm just shallow, and I obsess over new things easily. Soon I'll see a new shiny thing I havent seen before, and jump at it.
And then I'll forget Xena. Just like that. My obsession will be over. This is just a phase.
This couldn't be anything serious.
I'm only something small. Something inconsequential. Something temporary.
What I have with Xena, can only be temporary.
But I'm shallow, so I'll enjoy my temporary things.
I'll enjoy what I have, while I have it.
And so we go. I touch my cheek, affectionately.
My bruise. I love it.
I want to be a warrior like Xena. And this, is my first battle scar in life.
I got it from Xena, but that's okay, I'll take it.
I've lost my spotlessness now. finally. With this, I'm one step closer to Xena. I love it just so much.
I'll wear my battle scars with pride.
And as we go.
I think. This whole story. When it happened. It was disgusting. But now it has a happy ending.
I wonder if I can make it good.
What this story, at its core, is all about... is justice!
Law is not justice. I left home because I couldn't stand being like everybody else.
I went after Xena because there's nobody like Xena.
Today. Xena's fought destiny itself, and won.
Great people are those who create their own path.
If law is wrong. Then it's our duty to disobey that law. To create a new law.
Law is not justice. Real justice is what we have inside our hearts. We ourselves should create our own justice.
As it happened. It was so disgusting. Good people. People whom Xena protects with her life.
They always want her dead. That's so wrong.
No matter where we go, everybody hates Xena.
I wonder why. I consider.
I think I know why this whole thing happens.
On the outside, Xena looks scary and intimidating.
And because of that, people miss the most important thing about her.
Because of that... people don't see her soft and gentle soul.
So now I know. I know why people hate her everywhere she goes.
People hate her because she looks bad. That's all!
While Xena hopes for everybody. Nobody hopes for her.
... This is so sad. Poor Xena! Nobody understands her!
She does her best! She does so much! But nobody appreciates her!
Just me!
And with this. I realize. My true purpose. The reason I was born. My destiny. My duty.
I was born just so I could make people love Xena.
No matter where we go, everybody hates Xena.
And I wish. That the whole humanity knew. To love Xena.
To love her. As much as I do.
So, just you wait, Xena! You'll get your orchesta and placards yet!
And so we go. We're at the height of happiness. I'm at the height of love.
I thought we were friends before. But we weren't, not really. But I'll do better! So, now we'll be! Our friendship starts right now!
What came before is unimportant. What's important, is what we'll have now!
And we'll have the most beautiful of stories, the most beautiful of lives!
The past is unimportant. We can always start anew! Every moment should always be the first moment of our lives! Our lives always begin right now!
And so we go! We made missteps! But we have our first steps. On our journey towards life!
And as we go, with happiness. I put it out of my mind. I put it behind me. I pretend it's nothing. I sweep it under the rug. I look the other way and pretend it never happened.
I pretend I never saw it.
Pretend I didn't see.
Murder in Xena's eyes.
Murder targeted at me.