Chapter 8

Before Black's detention, I jinxed the imposter's firebolt. It was surprisingly easy, I just had to slither under the storage's room door and put a simple spell on the broom that would make it launch the imposter far into the stars.

"So, Dragon King, tell me, what was all that you were saying about an imposter?" Black said, holding in his hands the shampoo I had brought for him.

"Potter has been substituted" I said, trying to find a comfortable way to sit. Normally, I had special chairs built for me which were of my size and let me be a humane distance from the table, but Black didn't care about such matters, and so I was forced to do some gymnastics to be able to talk to Sirius as an equal. Plus, I was still a bit flattened from Trevor's latest crusade. "I'm sure someone has kidnapped him, in a trunk, preferably, and taken his place with Polyjuice potion"

Black caressed the shampoo as he purred like a broken cat. "Were have I seen this before?" Black asked to no one in particular. "Ah, right! That's exactly what happened with Moody!"

I shuddered. The mention of the man's name had a Trevor-like reaction on my hair. I had done everything that was possible to forget him, even tried to pay a seventh year to obliviate my memories passed in his class.

Sadly, I didn't remember that I was poo- 'moneyly challenged'.

"He isn't an imposter" Black said. "He just had some private problems. So don't do anything to him, Dragon King"

Black had been substituted as well; I was sure. Why else would he try to convince me Potter was alive and well? I am cute, but not stupid.

"Too late" I tried to grin, but as I was a ferret, I could only open and close my mouth.

"What did you do?!" Black yelled, throwing his shampoo out the window, and with it, my hope. He then tried to catch me, but my experience with the Fer-Fer girl had trained me to escape any prison. It wasn't long before I was on top of a shelf, laughing at Black's stupid face.

"Accio"

Crap.

"What-did-you-do?"

"I jinxed his broom. And there's nothing you can do about it!"

He would never convince me that he wasn't an imposter. Never.

Just then, a black and red streak that I recognised as Potter's imposter passed in front of the window, followed by a subtle bang. And the imposter fell.

"Noooo!" Black screamed. "Just when I thought I had gotten him back!"

"Do not fret, Black, he was an imposter"

"No, he wasn't!"

As we discussed, Potter continued to scream. He really was high up.

Heh. He screamed like a little girl.

Oh Merlin.

It really was Potter.

Dumbledore looked over his half-moon glasses, smiling, for some reason.

"Now… my student, yes, what made you try and kill Harry? I'm sure there is a perfectly normal reason"

"I thought he had been substituted, like Moody" I quivered slightly.

Dumbledore caressed his phoenix, who in turn caressed his beard. He was smiling throughout the whole affair.

"No, he wasn't. Madame Pomfrey made sure of it"

The phoenix stopped caressing Dumbledore and started trying to caress me with his beak. Or at least that's how Dumbledore called it. While I was running for my life, Dumbledore droned on, smiling from ear to ear still.

"Could it be that you are traumatized from your experience with Moody? Could it be you see imposters everywhere because you never had any closure, my stu- Draco! That's the name! Draco!"

I ignored that last part, mostly because Fawkes had finally catched me and was in the process of slurping me, like a noodle. However, the principal had a point. I had never felt safe after fake-Moody's -shiver- antics.

"I'm going to put you into therapy" Dumbledore continued, not caring that if his phoenix continued with its current mission, I wouldn't be able to attend it. "I'm going to look for a suitable professor. Any preferences?"

I stuck my wand into the phoenix's eye and it spontaneously combusted. I screamed in pain, but my hat didn't care, and so, only a squeak was heard.

"I see" Dumbledore said. "By the way… My student, you'll be happy to hear that Harry is okay, and only needs to rest for a little while before continuing his life normally"

I just groaned, trying to put out the flames before they destroyed my hair, and I ended like the ugly chick that peeped in a pool of its own ashes.

Snape's hair was something to behold. He didn't use any product, but the constant fume from the potions had made it so that his hair created gel naturally. Magic, I say. This was the least of my worries now, however. His bulging, hook-shaped nose was right in front of me, as Snape talked, his voice like the constant croak of a toad.

"No matter how much I approve of your actions, Malfoy, the principal has asked me to provide you with therapy" he said.

My father had Snape in high esteem. I know because he said so in his letter. He still used the original paper. It had been charmed to talk, so that the writings didn't need to be erased again and again. Apart from wearing away the paper, rubbers are expensive.

"It is imperative for you to understand that there aren't any imposters around. If you must kill Potter, I would prefer it is because you actually wanted to kill him" Snape croaked. "To convince you of this, I'm going to do some legilimency on you to find the root of the problem"

"To convince me that there aren't any imposters or to convince me to kill Potter" I asked.

"Let's start then" Snape continued as he lifted his wand. "Legilimens!"

I then found myself surrounded by ferrets. I recognized this as one of my nightmares, somewhat bastardized.

"All hail Jimmy!" the ferrets said as they prayed to me.

Now, I could avoid any confusion and explain to these nice fellows that I wasn't Jimmy. On the other hand, I was being prayed to. Even if it was just a dream, it felt good.

"Wait a second!" a ferret who had a match head as a face said. "I know you… You're not Jimmy… You're an imposter!"

While I was being bludgeoned by hundreds of angry ferrets, I saw from the corner of my eye Snape standing there, watching everything while nodding slowly, his nose covering the better part of his face.

Notes:

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