Maya Hart was nervous. Very nervous. The type of nervous she only feels when she thinks about Josh. She made plans to meet Josh for coffee that day while Riley was meeting Lucas's parents for the first time, and as much as she hated helping her prep, she did welcome the distraction because the more time she spent helping Riley memorize all the colors Mrs. Friar would never be caught dead wearing, the less time she had to obsess over Josh.

She stood on the corner of fifth and Clement Street, next to a cozy little coffee shop both Maya and Josh liked. You could order any of their two hundred flavor combinations to go with your coffee addiction. Maya discovered it one day with Riley but Riley never liked coffee, so Maya showed this place to one other person she knew with the caffeine addiction as severe as hers. Josh.

She saw him walking towards her. He noticed her and waved. Maya felt like he moved in slow motion. His smile started to widen and his hair moved in the wind like he was in a shampoo commercial. She almost felt dizzy.

He hugged her when he approached and the second his arms wrapped around her, she didn't feel nervous anymore. They walked in and placed their order.

"So should we try some weird combination or should we stick with what we know?" Josh asked as they looked at the menu.

"Well I always liked a guy who lived dangerously." Maya said. She never had to try hard around Josh. Everything she said around him came naturally. Josh smiled.

"Then I'll have every flavor on the menu." He responded. That had to be flirting, Maya thought. He must know what he is doing.

Maya fluctuated between the thought of his girlfriend and the thought of that cheeky smile he had on right now. She realized at that moment that if he asked her or kissed her, all her morals would go right out the window. The thought of how much she wanted him and what she was ready to give up for him scared her. She knew this wasn't just a crush, it wasn't temporary. She loved him. She was sure of it. She loved him when he smiled at her, she loved him when he ordered their coffees and tipped the waitress, she loved him when he drank his coffee and had a whip cream mustache on his upper lip and she loved him when he made her feel infinite and scar free.

"So how is Riley doing?" He asked.

"You should have seen her yesterday. She was so close to losing her mind. We went over that list so many times that even I know everything about Lucas's parents at this point." They both laughed.

"Yeah, she gets that from her father." Lucas joked.

"Who knew you'd end up being the sane one in your family." Maya said.

"Why is that so surprising? I'm a delight." Josh answered in mock offence.

"You have your moments." Maya teased.

"Speaking of moments, do you want to talk about it?" He asked. Maya knew he meant that night with her father.

"I'm afraid that would ruin the delight of your company." She joked because talking about her father made her feel uncomfortable.

"Look, I know Riley is your person and she's the one you talk to about this stuff, I just really want you to know that you also have me to talk about it. I care about you and I don't want things to be weird between us. And I don't know, maybe because I was there both times and I couldn't protect you, I feel guilty because I couldn't stop him and if you hate me for it, I get it, I should have done more..."

"Josh stop." Maya interrupted him. She moved to a chair closer to him and put her hand on top of his. "You are my person too, you know? And how can you say you didn't protect me? You ended up in the hospital right next to me when it happened the first time because you tried to protect me. You held my hand the whole time the last time. You called the cops and you made me feel safe in the most unsafe moment of my life. Never feel guilty about that." He put his other hand on top of hers.

"I just never want you to go through that and especially not alone." He said. "I care about you so much. I can't even imagine what I would do if he hurt you again."

Her heart started to beat faster. How does he not know his words mean more to her then they do to him? How can he say all of that to her and then go home and love another girl? Maya was as confused as ever.

"Then it's a good thing he'll never get a chance." She simply said. They stood there looking at each other, still holding hands, wrapped in an intense moment, neither one of them speaking. Maya broke the silence first.

"Maybe now we can change the subject before this gets too dark."

"Yes. If you want to." He said. They let go of each other, but Maya stayed on the chair that was closer to him.

"I watched 'City lights' last night with Riley." Maya said.

"I love that movie." He said and Maya smiled.

"I knew you would. We always like the same movies."

"And you're the only one who lets me talk during the movies." He added.

"Well if you don't say what you think at the moment, you'll forget later and the discussion is part of the fun." She agreed.

"Try telling that to my roommate. He hits me with a pillow every time I try to say something."

That made Maya smile.

"Maybe I'll use that next time I want to shut you up." She thought kissing him would be another good way to stop him from talking but she didn't say that out loud.

"Why does everyone want to shut me up?" He asked while laughing.

"I don't know, what does Amanda think?" Maya asked. The mention of Amanda's name slightly changed the mood but Maya couldn't help it. They were definitely flirting and Maya knew what she was doing and she feels the way she feels about him and it made her feel guilty.

Josh's smile slightly dropped and his voice turned serious. "Amanda is not a big fan of movies. She is more into music."

"That's cool." Maya said.

It felt like dropping Amanda's name built an invisible wall between them, like a cold shower that drained out the flirtation and fun. A part of Maya hated herself for bringing her up, the other, more rational side would dare to do it again.

"Yeah." Josh said. "We are into a lot of the same bands."

"Does she know about your undying love for Taylor Swift?" Maya teased.

"Hey, I only told you that and you promised to never use it against me." Josh squealed.

"But it's so much fun to watch you squirm." Maya laughed.

"You are mean." He laughed too.

"Just a little bit." She admitted, still laughing.

"But in all seriousness if Taylor and The Milk Carton Kids had a concert on the same night and you had the tickets to both, which one would you go to?" She asked him.

"That's a very cruel situation to put me in. I mean Taylor can make a spectacle but Kenneth sings directly to my soul." He answered seriously.

Maya couldn't help but crack a smile.

"You know I still can't listen to 'Michigan' by The Milk Carton Kids without crying." Maya admitted.

"I played you that song over a year ago." Josh said.

"I know, it just hits me every time I put it on, it always feel like the first time I hear it."

"It's probably my favorite song of theirs." Josh agreed.

They talked for the next two hours without any breaks. They seamlessly moved from one subject to another like they always do. Maya always felt like she could be herself around Josh. He made her feel like no joke is too much and no comment is too personal. She could tell him anything, she could be honest with him in a way she could never be with anyone else. Even with Riley some things were harder to say out loud, but that never applied to Josh. She could have dated so many boys if she wanted to but none of them ever made her feel like she could share her entire world with them and that every piece would be perfectly safe in their hands. Josh made her feel safe and he made her laugh over dumb stuff that no one else in the whole world would get. She could spend her whole life in this little bubble with just the two of them and be happy. She'd never long for anything else.

Just as she was starting to forget Josh ever had a girlfriend and her guilt was dimming down they both were in for a surprise. Maya heard the coffee shop door open and they both subconsciously turned to look at it. It took a moment for Maya's brain to register that it was really Amanda walking towards them. She still wasn't sure if Amanda moved in slow motion or if it was just her brain messing with her. Josh was just as caught off guard as Maya was. His face showed it more.

"Hey babe." She walked up to Josh and kissed him. "I was just headed home and saw you through the window. Hey Maya, it's great to see you again." She said to Maya and then turned towards Josh again. "I thought you'd be in your dorm by now."

"Yeah, Maya and I just kept talking, and I lost track of time." Josh explained, sounding guiltier than he had the right to be.

"That's fine. I'll be in my dorm so you just call me when you get back." Amanda said still smiling. Does she ever stop smiling, Maya wondered.

"You can join us." Josh said.

"Yes." Maya confirmed. "Yes. Join us."

"Oh, are you sure? I don't want to impose but it would be nice to get to know one of Josh's' closest friends." Amanda said.

"And I'd like to get to know Josh's'…" She almost choked on the last word. "…girlfriend."

"Ok then." Josh concluded. "We'll all hang out together."

"This will be fun." Amanda said genuinely.

Maya had to disagree. They all sat down. Amanda ordered a cup of tea and Maya and Josh both ordered another cup of coffee. Maya's heart was beating so much she thought it would explode. Amanda was nice and sweet and Maya hated her. It was irrational and childish perhaps, but Maya spent so much time loving a boy who Amanda gets to touch and kiss and Maya hated her for it. She tried to hide it. She laughed at Amanda's jokes and pretended not to flinch every time she touched Josh's arm. Time past so slowly and Maya couldn't wait to leave and tell Riley about another heartbreaking Josh story.

The moment she left the coffee shop she headed to Riley's room. She snuck in through the window and sat on the bay window where Riley was already sitting with a pillow in her lap.

"So how was your night?" Maya asked.

"Bad." Riley answered without missing the beat. "Yours?"

"Bad." Maya answered. "I am such an idiot Riles." She exclaimed. "He has a girlfriend. An annoyingly sweet and nice girlfriend. They are clearly in love and I am an idiot who doesn't know when to stop."

"I know you're having a bad day and I want to talk about it but I just broke up with Lucas so I just need a minute." Riley interrupted.

"What? Why?" Maya was in shock.

"I don't want to talk about it. Can you give me a hug and then we'll talk about Josh." Riley said and Maya rushed to embrace her.

"Oh sweetie, I am so sorry." Maya said, not wanting to pry beyond Riley's comfort zone. In response Riley just sighed and started to cry in Maya's shoulder.

"My mascara is ruining your shirt." Riley said through tears.

"It's ok honey, it's your shirt." Maya responded.

"It looks better on you." Riley said.

They just sat there on Riley's bay window, hugging while Riley cried for a while. When she finally calmed down, she told Maya all about her awful dinner.

"It was awful. His parents are awful." Riley told her everything that happened and how it made her feel.

"Do you think I overreacted?" She wondered.

"No." Maya said without hesitation. "You should have walked out sooner."

"He did try to stand up for me and it's hard standing up to your parents. I disagree with my parents about a lot but I never say anything." Riley tried to rationalize it.

"Stop. Don't talk yourself out of it. You stood up for yourself. Just like you did with Charlie. You're a badass. Ranger Rick may be a good guy but tonight he sucked. You were right to walk out." Maya encouraged her.

"Ranger Rick?"

"Because he's from Texas." Maya explained. "I'm trying it out."

"They just made me feel so insecure. I hated it. I hate that he put me in that position so i just ended it. The crappy thing is I really liked him." Riley went on to explain.

"I know you did peaches. I wish that was enough. Maybe he will call and tell you how stupid he was and he will make sure you never have to see his parents again and you'll live happily ever after." Maya tried to cheer up her friend.

"I thought you didn't believe in happily ever after."

"I do when it comes to you because I don't know of anyone more deserving of one then you."

"You will get yours too."

"Do you think it's really over between you and Lucas? Like if actually calls and asks you to get back together, would you?" Maya asked.

"I don't know. I stood there and listen to everything his parents said and the hardest part was that they were right about some things. We do come from different worlds and I don't think I belong in his and I don't want to pull him away from his parents, no matter how bad they were to me, they love him. I don't want him to have to choose and that will definitely happen." Riley tried to explain.

"You belong in every world there is. You are the reason they build worlds. Are you crazy? I know you have a great relationship with your parents because your parents are the best, but not everyone is as lucky. Maybe he should get away from his parents. Sometimes that's for the best. Some love is toxic. Some parents are too." Maya said.

Riley thought about Maya's words for a second. Could she be right? "I don't know. Let's forget about that for a while. What happened with Josh tonight?" She asked.

Maya sighed with anger and fell back on the bay window. "I am starting to hate him. He is messing with my head. One minute I think he loves me the next he's holding hands with Amanda. My heart is about to burst whenever he smiles at me and he is playing house with Amanda. He was so sweet tonight he even held my hand and we laughed about stupid stuff like we always do and then his girlfriend showed up and metaphorically slapped me in the face."

"I am sorry peaches. That sucks." Riley comforted her.

"I thought I could do it – the whole friends thing and then I thought maybe if I just let him in and hang out with him he will love me some day. But every day ends the same, I get my hopes up, he goes home with Amanda and I get my heart broken again. I can't do it anymore. I think I have to take a step back. I can't be his friend when my whole body is on fire every time I think about him. I want his heart and body and mind. I want it all and I can't pretend any longer. It's too hard." Maya admitted.

"I want to comfort you and find the right words to say but I don't know anything. I thought love was supposed to be simple. You find someone you like, they like you back and you live happily ever after. No complications. But it's a little harder when the story is not just in your head." Riley said.

"Love was always complicated for me. It brings out a lot of insecurities in me. First with my dad, then with Josh. Sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me, like I am so unlovable. Because no one ever loved me." Maya tried to explain.

"Peaches, I love you. I love you the most out of all the people in the world." Riley rushed to say. It broke her heart that her best friend could feel like this.

"I love you too Riles but you know what I mean. Romantic love. The stuff in the movies. I want that too. I've always been scared to say it out loud. Like if the universe hears me it would take it away. And Josh was the reason that for the first time I felt hope. And it's all gone now. I never even kissed anyone. Do you have any idea how many nights I stayed up imagining what my first kiss would be like? I had all this different scenarios of how it happens but all of them had one thing in common, my first kiss was always with Josh."

"I am so sorry I don't know how to fix this for you. But I never want you to feel unlovable. Your edges are not as sharp as you thing. There is some darkness in you but there is also so much light. You don't get to focus on just one part of who you are. You are so beautiful inside and out and if Josh is not the one, it's his loss. He's an idiot anyways. If he can't see you're the best thing that can happen to him, he doesn't deserve you." Riley said in comfort.

Before Maya could say something in return, Riley's phone rang. She turned to look who was calling her.

"It's Lucas." She said breathless.

"Do you want to answer it?"

"I don't know." The phone rang again. "No, I don't think so. I need to think about everything before I let him sweet talk me into anything."

Riley left the phone next to her. They both watched it in silence until it stopped ringing.

"Do you think he'll call again?" Riley asked.

"This is like the time he called to ask you out for the first time. Of course he'll call again." Maya confirmed.

"Then I should turn it off." Riley said. She turned her phone off and threw it on her bed, far out of her reach.

"We do not have the best coping mechanisms." Riley stated.

"I had horrible parental influences, what is your excuse?" Maya asked.

"I had you." Riley joked.

Maya laughed. "You may be a mess but you are my mess." Both girls laughed.

Maya stayed over for the night. They were both exhausted after the emotionally draining evening they had. Before they fell asleep they looked at each other and they both knew that no matter what happens they can always count on their best friend.

A/N: Hey guys, it's been a while, but luckily shorter than the previous break. Thank you for all your wonderful comments after the last chapter. I love how invested and interested you are and the little theories and hopes you have. Thank you so much to everyone who takes time to read this story and comment on it. I love you all so much for it. :)

P.S. I changed my user name, I hope that's not confusing :)