Maya started missing Josh the second she closed the door behind her. Her heart has never felt so full. All the memories of the past three days spun around in her head on a loop. She had to tell Riley every single moment of it. She grabbed her phone and realized her battery was dead. She hasn't charged it in four days. She plugged her phone into a charger and turned it on. Immediately she got hit with a bunch on texts and voicemails from Riley.
"Where are you?"
"Call me back."
It's an emergency."
Maya yanked the phone off the charger and rushed to Riley's house.
XXX
THREE DAYS AGO
Riley laid in her bed. Lucas was asleep next to her in his boxers. Just his boxers. Riley couldn't sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about what happened tonight. She slept with Lucas. She slept with someone for the first time. She didn't know how to feel about that. Once they started taking their clothes off they just kept going until there was nothing left between them. She could feel the warmth of his skin on hers, the taste of his lips. She liked the way her body fit into his touch. And he knew what he was doing. Lucas made all the right moves.
After they finished, they laid next to each other on the couch. Lucas put on his boxers and Riley put on her underwear and Lucas' shirt.
"Are you okay?" He asked. He asked the same question a couple of times during sex as well. Riley liked how soft and considerate he was.
"I am fine." She kept answering with a smile. "You can stop asking."
"I'm sorry. I just want to make sure you are okay and that it was okay." Lucas said. "I want to make sure we didn't rush into this."
"No it was great. But we should go to my room, I don't know when my parents are coming back and I don't want them to see us." Riley said.
They went to her room and cuddled until Lucas fell asleep. But Riley couldn't sleep. Lucas's words kept repeating on a loop in her head. Did they rush into it? She was the one who started it. She wanted it. She took off her clothes first. It's not like it was bad, quite the opposite, it was wonderful, not that Riley had anything to compare it with. So why does she feel like it burns from her stomach all the way up to her throat? Why does she feel anxious? They used protection, they were careful. So why does she feel like she did something wrong?
She turned to look at Lucas. She loved him. Maybe she wasn't ready to say it out loud, but she felt it. She was sure she was going to feel better in the morning. She tried to fall asleep but she couldn't. She heard when her parents came home around midnight. Around six in the morning she had to wake up Lucas so he could sneak out of her window. Her mother wakes up around half past six, and she didn't want to risk getting caught. Lucas smiled when she nudged him slightly to wake him up. He put his pants and jacket on. Riley wanted to give him his shirt back but he told her not to take it off and that it looked sexy on her, and that made her chuckle. Lucas carefully opened the window and walked out. He turned around to kiss her. "I'll call you later so we can meet up." He said.
Riley nodded and kissed him again. "See you tomorrow." She said.
"See you." Lucas responded with the biggest smile she ever saw. Riley loved his smile. He climbed down and she closed the window, determent to ignore the feeling that was brewing at the bottom of her stomach. As soon as she got back to bed, she fell asleep.
She woke up late in the afternoon after her father pulled the curtains apart and sunlight hit her eyes. She winced and groaned loudly.
"What are you still doing in bed? I went to work, shaped young minds, came back and you're still sleeping?" Cory sounded grumpy.
Riley blinked a couple of times as a response.
"Oh god, is it happening again? Are you never getting out of this bed? Is it that new boy? What did he do?" He asked in a rushed voice.
"Nothing! I'm just tired. I haven't slept last night." Riley answered.
Cory sighs and plops next to Riley on the bed.
"I know relationships can be hard and on top of that you are growing up and dealing with school and it can be a lot. Your mom and I are here to help you deal when everything at once becomes too hard. We are always here for you, you just need to talk to us."
Riley thought how lucky she is to have the parents that she does. "I know dad. Somethings I just have to deal with myself. But if anything becomes too much, I'll come to you and mom."
"Promise?"
"I promise."
Cory looked at his daughter and smiled. He remembered fondly the times she would tell them everything, no mater how big or small it was. He also remembered the time he was her age and how he felt when his parents tried to push him to talk before he was ready.
"Okay." He kissed her forehead and got up. "Whenever you're ready. I love you. But please get out of bed and clean your room. It's messier than Shawn's."
"I love you too dad."
Riley was alone again. She set up in her bed and called Maya but her best friend didn't answer. She tried to call her again and she still didn't pick up. She texted her to call her back when she sees the message and after one last long stretch, she got up. Riley tried to stay busy for the whole day. She cleaned her room and her closet. She even put aside some clothes she planed to donate. She only left her room once to eat. By night time Maya still didn't answer, which was very unusual. Riley texted her again.
"Is everything okay? Call me back, I am getting worried."
Maya probably just forgot to charge her phone but didn't know what she was doing that would make her forget to charge her phone and she really needed to talk to her. Riley wasn't good with her own thoughts and while Maya thrived on alone time because she was used to it, Riley hated it and she really needed to talk to someone. Lucas texted her asking how she was doing and if she wanted to meet up but Riley didn't feel like answering him. She really needed to talk to Maya. It was about 2 in the morning when Riley finally fell asleep again. Her sleep was restless and shallow and by the time she woke up the next morning, she felt like she would be less exhausted is she hadn't tried to fall asleep at all. She tried calling Maya again but she still wasn't answering.
Now I get why people have more than one friend, she thought.
Lucas texted her again and this time she did answer him.
"Hey, everything is fine, I have to help my parents with something at my grandparents' house so I won't be home all weekend. See you Monday."
She wondered if she should add an emoji, maybe a heart or a kissing one. But she never sends emoji in her texts. Will Lucas think it's weird? Or will he think it's cold and weird if she doesn't send one? She really wished Maya was here to help her with this decision.
She opted for a heart emoji and dropped her phone on her bed the second she clicked send.
She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts at home but she also didn't know where else to go. The only thing she'd think to do was go for a run.
Riley Matthews didn't run. That's the one thing Maya and her decided they'd never do. It may have health benefits but they both agreed that the cost of it was too high. But now Riley thought about all of those movies where women would go for a run to clear their heads. She thought it could maybe even help her. In the movies women always looked so elegant and strong while they ran in their super cute sports wear. Riley was only two minutes into her run around Central Park when she started to regret it. She was sweaty and tired and her outfit consisted of an old t-shirt and an even older pair of shorts that didn't look very cute according to her. She had her headphones in, with the sound set on the maximum so she didn't have to hear herself think. She decided to give up on the running and collapsed onto the grass. The park was full of people having picnics or just hanging out with their friends in a warm spring day but Riley didn't pay any attention to them. She laid on her back with her music blaring and stared at the sky. The sky was clear and blue and she felt peaceful looking at the fluffy white clouds slowly moving across the sky. She could feel the grass tickling her on the parts of her skin that weren't covered with clothes. She lost track of time lying there, all she knew was that she didn't want to move. This was so much better than running. She laid there until she felt a moist lick on her cheek.
"Roxy, no! Roxy, stop it!" She heard an unfamiliar voice call for the dog that was drenching her face with warm spit. She couldn't help but giggle.
Roxy's owner quickly grabbed her collar and pulled her off of Riley. Riley sat up still giggling.
"I am so sorry. She is very friendly but she doesn't usually jump on strangers like that." The handsome guy putting Roxy back on her leash explained.
Riley pet the huge husky behind the dogs' ears. "It's okay. I love dogs and I don't mind. She pulled me out of my existential crisis so that's a plus."
Riley finally looked up at the boy who held on to Roxy's leash an she couldn't help but notice his pretty smile and kind eyes.
"I'm Matt." The boy introduced himself and offered his hand to Riley.
"Riley" She said and shook his hand.
"Going for a run?" He asked.
"Is it that obvious?"
"Yeah, the laying on the ground while having an existential crisis is a big tell." She laughed at that.
"Your dog is adorable." Riley couldn't stop petting her.
"And she seems to really like you. She does have a good taste." Riley blushed a bit at that. Was this guy flirting with her? Does she like it?
"Good for her." Riley said.
"Would you like to join us for the rest of our walk? I think Roxy would really like that."
Riley considered that offer for a second. Would she like to join him? She looked at his eyes and smile and perfect shoulders. The boy was very attractive, maybe a year or two older with a wonderful and cuddly dog, what's not to like? But then she remembered Lucas's eyes and warm smile and his perfect shoulders that she liked so much she could almost feel his skin on her hands right there and then. She didn't want to go for a walk with this boy. She realized she wanted to go on a walk with Lucas.
"I don't want to break Roxy's heart but I have to go and meet my boyfriend so I can't." She lied again. She was starting to get good at that.
"Of course a girl like you has someone waiting for her." He said with a smile. "It was nice meeting you Riley."
"Nice meeting you too Matt. And it was very nice meeting you Roxy. I'll miss you." She said to the dog as she petted her one last time.
Riley took her phone and texted Lucas.
"Hey, sorry if I seemed weird, I had a great time the other night, I just get in my head sometimes too much but I don't want you to feel weird about us. I'm sorry. I'll see you Monday."
She was stuck with the lie she told that now she regrets.
Lucas answered as soon as she sent the text. "I am really glad you texted me. I didn't want to push, I thought you needed some time but I love you and I can't wait for you to come back!"
Riley smiled but she still felt scared. What is it about those three little worlds that scared her so much? She wasn't ready to say it or text it back. She just sent him two heats emoticons and she hated herself for it.
Still no word from Maya. What is that girl up to?
She walked home and swore to never try running again. Her parents were still at work and she decided to do something nice for them so she started to make dinner. She never really cooked but she thought it couldn't be so hard, just follow the recipe. She found one she liked, pasta carbonara and decided to make that. She already had all the ingredients at home. She fallowed the recipe to a t and she was just about done when her parents came home.
"What smells so tasty?" Cory asked.
"Riley, did you cook?" Topanga was surprised.
"I did! I made pasta." Riley was very proud of her accomplishment. "Wash up and I'll set the table and we can eat."
They all sat down for a meal together for the first time in what seems like ages. They were all on different schedules. Topanga often worked on Saturdays and Cory had meetings at the school on the weekends when ever they were approaching the end of the semester.
"This tastes amazing sweetheart." Topanga exclaimed.
"Oh my god, it's incredible." Cory agreed.
"Thanks. Just don't think I'll do it again any time soon."
"It's really lovely you did this honey." Topanga said. "How come Maya isn't here?"
"She hasn't picked up her phone since Friday."
"Is everything okay?" Cory wondered.
"Yeah, she often forgets to charge her phone. She is probably just painting in her room. I'll go by tomorrow to check on her."
"Okay." Topanga said. Riley saw her parents exchange a look. She wondered which one of theme was going to ask her if she was okay. She couldn't handle hearing that question one more time.
"Can I ask you guys something?" She said fast.
"Of course honey." Topanga said.
"Anything." Cory said.
"How did you know? When you met each other and fell in love, how did you know it was real? And how did you allow yourselves to trust each other? Wasn't that scary?"
"Love is complicated sometimes. It's scary to let someone in and trust them completely but if you can't let go and believe your partner and believe in them then there's no point in being with them. Love is a wonderful thing but it does require a leap of faith." Her mother said, like she practiced that speech before, even though Riley knew it came straight from the heart.
"And we were lucky we were each others first love. We didn't have heartbreaks from previous relationships. We learned together. But in everything you do in life, you can't be guarded. Nobody can live like that. You can't be happy if you don't let people in." Her father added, as if he could read her mind and see exactly what is bothering her.
"Thanks. I needed to hear that." The rest of the dinner they talked about their day and made jokes that made each other laugh.
Riley helped them clean up the table and then she said she had to run out for a bit.
"Where are you going?" Her father asked.
"To take a leap of faith." Riley responded with a smile and headed for a door.
"Yeah, that's nice honey, but we need a location." Topanga said.
"Right, sorry, I have to go see Lucas." She walked out of the apartment and closed the door behind her.
NYU wasn't that far from her home. She's never been to Lucas's dorm before but she knew where his dorm was and what number. She just hoped he'd be there and not out with his friends. She didn't know what she was going to say to him but she knew she had to talk to him. She was tired of feeling scared. She reached his dorm room and knocked. Lucas's roommate opened the door and Riley recognized him from the night she met Lucas.
"Hi. Zay, right?"
"Riley, the girl who stole my best friends heart. Nice to see you again."
"Is he here?"
"I'm here." She heard from behind the door. Lucas appeared besides Zay with a wide grin. He jumped to hug Riley.
"What are you doing here? I thought you come back tomorrow?" He asked as he lifted her up and twirled her.
"I'm gonna go… like… somewhere. I'll be back in a while. Or a long while. Just text me when it's safe to come back." Zay waved at them and walked away. Lucas led Riley into their small dorm room. Riley sat next to Lucas on his bed.
"So I have to tell you something. And I am going to be honest which is a bit scary for me." She started.
"Okay." Lucas nodded. "I'm listening."
"So first of all I lied about going to my grandparents' house this weekend. I needed to think somethings through and Maya wasn't picking up her phone so I wanted to buy some time. I'm sorry that I lied. I didn't do anything. I went for a run. Never doing that again. But that's besides the point. The point is, I lied because I was a little freaked out. And I started the… you know…"
"Sex?" Lucas jumped in.
"Yes, that and I wanted it to happen but it freaked me out how fast this is going and how quickly I was comfortable with you. I got scared. But I don't want to be this person. I don't want to be scared. I love life and I love love and I was always the happy, optimistic person. And I really want that back. There is freedom in that. But a guy broke up with me because I didn't want to have sex with him and the world got a little darker. It's hard for me to realize that I was too naive and that not everyone always has the best attentions. I also learned that I can't tell when someone is good or bad, I don't know the difference. I want to trust you and be open with you but I keep waiting for you to make a mistake and show me that you are bad too. And I know that it's mean and crazy and you don't deserve that. I just don't want to get hurt again. But I like you a lot. And apparently in love you have to take a leap of faith so if you can forgive me for lying I think I can be good now. I think I can let you in. No fear."
Lucas caressed her cheek with his thumb and placed his forehead on hers. He spoke to her with such softness in his voice that Riley felt like she was melting in his arms.
"There's nothing to forgive. And you're not crazy. I get. It hurts a bit but I get it. And I'm glad you trust me enough to talk to me about it. The world is a bad place and you were lucky to get a glimpse of that a bit later in life then a lot of people but not everyone is out to get you. And love is weird. It opens you up to hurt but that's when trust comes in to play. There is nothing without trust. I think you know me. We've spend enough time together for you to know me. I think you should trust your gut, even though you feel like it let you down before, I think even back then, on some level it also told you what kind of guy Charlie was. I promise I will never do anything to hurts you. Even if something crazy happens and by some miracle we end up not being together, I'd still never do anything to hurt you."
She smiled and leaned in to kiss him. She threw her arms around his neck and sat on his lap.
"You know, if it's too much we don't have to have sex again for a while. Just whenever you are ready. If you are ever ready."
Riley didn't say anything, instead of a response she just kissed him. "I love you." She whispered into his lips.
"I love you too." He said it back.
"Can we have sex right now?" She asked and made Lucas laugh.
"What?"
"I really want to have sex with you right now." Riley said, never more sure than anything in her life.
"Okay." Lucas said and kissed her back.
"Is Zay coming back anytime soon?" Riley worried.
"I hope not. I'll lock the door just in case." He jumped quickly to lock the door and jumped even quicker back in bed next to Riley asked: "Where were we?" They kissed again, slowly and passionately. Riley pushed his shirt up over his head. Lucas unbuckled his belt and then took off Riley's shirt. He started tracing kisses all over her body, from her neck and collar bone, to her belly button and lower. Riley closed her eyes and draped her fingers with his hair. Lucas slowly removed her underwear and continued to plant kisses everywhere.
Riley loved his wide shoulders and how tall he was but even more, she loved how soft and gentle he always was. She felt safe whenever she was in his arms in a way she never felt with anyone else.
Luckily Zay didn't come back early to interrupt them, not even afterwards when they were cuddling.
"I should go home. It's late."
"No." Lucas held her tighter. "Stay the night."
"I feel bad that we threw Zay out of the room. Plus I can't really tell my parents I'll stay here overnight." Riley had to be rational even though she wanted to stay.
"I can't wait until one day we are living together and we don't have anything else to do so we just stay in bed all day and all night." Lucas fantasized and Riley liked to think that someday that could happened.
"That sounds nice."
"Okay, I'll walk you home." He said and kissed her forehead.
"You don't have to do that." Riley said honestly.
"It's late and I don't have anything better to do."
"You are a great boyfriend." Riley started to get dress.
"I aim to please." Lucas joked and handed Riley her shirt.
They walked down the streets of New York hand in hand, giddy and happy. Riley never felt more in love. She felt like electricity was coursing through her vanes just from holding his hand. Lucas told her some funny story about a cow from when he was little and she laughed so hard she snorted. He kissed her every time they stopped at a red light and she realized she's never been in love before. This felt right. For the first time she didn't have any doubts, she didn't plan ahead or worried about how it was going to go bad, she was just a girl in love walking down the street holding her boyfriends hand and nothing in the world felt wrong at that moment.
They walked slowly so they'd take longer to reach Riley's home but it was still just a thirty minutes walk.
"Here we are." Riley declared somberly.
"See you tomorrow?" Lucas asked.
"See you tomorrow." She put her hands around his neck and kissed him. "Thanks for walking me home. Text me when you get back so I know you're safe."
With a big grin on his face Luca said he will and after making out for along time, they finally separated and said their goodbyes.
This time Riley couldn't fall asleep because she couldn't stop thinking about Lucas and how happy she was. She thought about seeing him tomorrow and she felt the excitement of a child the night before going on a school trip. By the time she drifted off to sleep, the sun was starting to rise.
She felt like she only closed her eyes for a second before a loud yell woke her up.
"Wake up! Riles, I'm here, what's the emergency?"
"What?" Riley was disoriented from sleep and it took her a minute to realize her best friend was on her bed with a panicked look on her face. "What time is it?"
"Forget the time, what's the emergency?" Maya was flustered but Riley was still half asleep and had no idea what Maya was talking about.
"What?" Riley held herself up on her elbows.
"You texted me and said there was an emergency."
"Yeah, like three days ago. It's taken care of now. Where were you anyway?"
Maya plopped herself next to Riley with a dazzled smile on her face.
"Oh Riles, I have so much to tell you."
"I actually have something to tell you too."
"Josh and I are together."
"I slept with Lucas." They both said at the same time.
"What?" They both said again. "Oh my god."
"Okay, okay." Riley was siting up holding onto Maya's arms. "You first. Tell me everything."
And Maya did. She told Riley how Josh waited for her and told her he loved her and she told her every detail about their weekend spent together, well, most details. Some things Maya had to keep just for Josh and herself. Then Riley told her friend all about her first time with Lucas and the emotional turmoil she'd been through and the events from last night.
"Wow, I can't believe all of this happened in just three days." Maya said wide-eyed.
"I know. And it's even crazier that we didn't talk for that long."
"I'm so sorry Riles. That will never happen again. I just didn't even think about my phone or anything else in the world. I forgot time even existed."
"Don't worry about it. I get it. If Lucas and I ever have a place all to ourselves for three days, I'd disappear too."
"I love him so much Riles. It's unimaginable. I held it in for so long that now I am exploding inside. We were together constantly for three days straight and he left to his dorm an hour ago and I already feel like we've been separated for too long. I don't want to suffocate him but I want to be around him all the time." Riley never saw Maya talk about anyone the way she talked about Josh. She was guarded and defensive all her life and to hear her speak so openly about her emotions was refreshing and Riley liked that for her friend.
"I can't believe you slept with someone before I did. How was it?" Maya wanted to know all the details.
"It was really wonderful. I didn't know he could be so gentle and that anything can make you feel so good. I can't wait to do it again." The girls giggled. This was the first time they were both in love and happy at the same time and being able to share that feeling between them made it even more special.
"How did you know you were ready? I mean just a couple of months ago you broke up with Charlie because you didn't want to do it with him." Maya wondered.
"I mean it's about more than just that. I realize now how strong my feelings for Lucas are. What I felt for Charlie was just a fragment of what I feel right now and to think how much I thought I loved him is crazy. And Lucas never pushed or pressured me. He lets me get there in my own time and he is so patients and gentle and I never thought someone like him existed in this world." Riley tried to explain.
"Aww" Maya was happy for her best friend. But also, she hated Charlie and hearing Riley say those things was almost therapeutic. "Now tell me all the hot details. How good is he in bed? What positions did you try?"
"Maya, no!" Riley laughed but her cheeks burned bright red and suddenly she felt a flesh of heat consume her.
"Don't be embarrassed! Share the details with your starving, less fortunate friend." Maya said as she started to tickle her. Riley squirmed and tried to catch her breath from laughing.
"If you don't stop, I won't tell you anything."
Maya put her hands up in the air instantly. "Fine, I call truce."
"I don't want to talk about it. It's embarrassing." Riley said, still blushing.
"You don't have to tell me anything, but there's nothing embarrassing about it." Maya said in all seriousness.
"Yeah I know." Riley agreed. "Can we go get some breakfast?"
Maya nodded enthusiastically and dragged Riley out of her bed straight into the kitchen where they continued to talk about their favorite boys, happier then they ever were before.