A/N: Thanks for your reviews!
Chapter 3
Andrew Beckett strolled into his sister-in-law's office the next afternoon, an easy smile on his face and a white rose in his hand. He had garnered some looks in the hallway…one little goon had looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head as he watched him near Johanna's door. He hoped it was Calvin…he wanted it be Calvin. He also hoped his brother wouldn't strike him dead for taking his wife out even if it was just a ruse of a lunch date. He had probably looked like a fool in his car, talking when no one was in the passenger seat…he hoped people just assumed he was using the Bluetooth for a phone call…instead of patiently explaining to his dead brother that he was going to be a perfect gentleman as always…that while he was taking out his wife, it was only so other men would leave her alone and therefore he was doing him a favor in looking after her.
He hadn't been struck down yet so he was taking that as a sign that Jim understood…or that his dearly departed brother was thinking of a better way to punish him from afar. Andrew pushed those thoughts away as Johanna's secretary glanced away from her computer screen, her eyes widening as she caught sight of the flower in his hand.
"Andrew, what brings you by?" Sharon asked.
"I'm here to take Johanna to lunch; she is in isn't she? I didn't get any messages saying she'd be delayed."
Sharon's brow rose. "Yes, she's here…but she didn't tell me she was going out to lunch with anyone."
"Really?" he asked; "I guess she doesn't tell her best friend everything after all…that's good to know. Can you let her know I'm here?"
"Of course," Sharon said, eyeing him with suspicion as she rose from her chair and rounded the desk.
As she slipped through the door of Johanna's inner office, Andrew noticed the man he had dubbed as the little goon was still hanging around in the hallway, positioned so he had a clear view of the office. Andrew smiled as he twirled the stem of the rose between his fingers. That had to be Calvin…unless Johanna had another admirer…which of course was possible but if so, he could understand her desire to get away from the demand for her attention.
"Andrew?" Johanna said as she stepped out of her office.
He smiled. "Hey, Angel face; you didn't forget about our lunch date did you?" he asked, his gaze staying pinned to hers in hopes she'd get the message to play along.
A smile broke across her lips; Elizabeth had to be behind this, she mused. Her mother-in-law had taken it upon herself to set up the ruse. "No, I didn't forget…I've just been busy this morning and lost track of time. I'm sorry."
"No need to be sorry; some things are worth waiting for," he remarked, moving close to her, his hand falling against her waist as he pressed a kiss against her cheek while offering the rose to her.
"Thank you, it's beautiful," Johanna said softly, her fingers trailing against the silken petals. She was thankful it wasn't red…red would've reminded her of all the roses Jim had given her.
"You ready to go?" her brother-in-law asked.
She conjured up a smile for him. "Just let me grab my purse."
"Not a problem…and just so you know, I brought the Mustang…I know how much you love Mustangs."
She gave him an amused smiled as she headed back into her office to collect her purse; to her knowledge, the blue Mustang he drove around in was the only car he had…but he was playing a role, just as his mother had asked him to do.
Andrew stood by patiently waiting as Sharon stared at him for a long moment. "Since when do you two go to lunch together?" she asked.
His brow rose. "We've shared quite a few meals together through the years."
"When Jim was alive," the secretary stated.
"Yes…we've also shared many meals together in more recent years. Is there a problem with that?"
"Just seems odd," she remarked.
"How is it odd?"
"You've never come around here before to take her out…to drop off your daughter, yes; to take her out, no."
He gave her a cool assessing gaze. "That doesn't mean anything…after all, I'm sure you're not privy to everything she does after hours."
"She takes care of your mother."
"Not every night," he quipped.
Johanna slipped out the door of her office with her purse in hand. "I'll be back at the usual time, Sharon; I left my flower on the desk, I'd appreciate it if you could put it in some water for me."
"I will," Sharon replied; his gaze assessing her friend.
"Good; after you do that, you can take your lunch too. See you in a little while."
Andrew offered Johanna his arm and she took it, playing along since he had been so gracious to do this for her without her even asking herself. "Angel face, who is it that guy that's been staring at me like I have two heads?" Andrew asked as they stepped out of the office.
"That's Calvin," she said with barely a glance at him.
"Ooh, so that's Calvin," he remarked; glad to know that he had been right.
"Yes."
"I thought you weren't interested in dating, Johanna," Calvin said snidely.
"I'm not interested in dating you," she retorted.
Andrew chuckled. "Take my word for it, Calvin; you don't have what it takes to take her on…she's used to real men who know how to treat a lady right."
Calvin stammered and glared at them before he stormed away. "I had that little goon pegged as soon as I walked in here," Andrew murmured as they made their way down the hallway. "Something just told me he was the one."
Johanna gave his arm a gentle squeeze as they passed by Mark and Cathy who were watching from the doorway of his office.
"Jo, what are you doing?" Mark asked.
"Going to lunch; its noon…do me a favor and don't call Katie if I'm not back at exactly one. I'll make it back eventually."
Her boss regarded her with a raised brow and she smiled as she and her brother-in-law continued their walk to the elevator. They waited quietly for the doors to slide open and when they did, Andrew gestured her on ahead of him. Once they were both onboard and the doors slid shut, Andrew gave her his usual grin. "Well, I think that will get some tongues wagging, don't you?"
"As we speak," she replied. "I take it your mother called you after I left last night?"
"Yeah," he said with a nod. "She told me about the situation."
She ducked her head shyly. "It's stupid isn't it?"
"No, I don't find the harassment of women stupid. Especially when it's a woman I know and love. If I can do something about it I will; even if it's just stopping in to take you to lunch so they think you've hooked someone and they'll get off your back."
She found his hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "Thank you," she murmured.
"No problem," he said with a smile. "You know it's no hardship for me to go out without a beautiful woman."
Johanna smiled as the doors slid open. "I just hope they buy it."
"They will," he said as they made their way to the exit of the building and slipped out the door. "Who wouldn't believe that you'd want to catch a fine specimen like me in your net? After all, Jim and I are from the same litter."
Johanna laughed as he guided her to his car. "Yeah; you've definitely been talking to Elizabeth."
He nodded. "Last night and again this morning when I got to work; she called to remind me…and also to give me ground rules, suggestions and maternal admonishment when she deemed it necessary."
"Sounds like she covered all the bases," she said as he unlocked the car and opened the door for her.
"Yeah," he said with a grin; "You'd think she didn't trust me…like I'm going to risk Jim stricking me with a lightening bolt if I stepped out of line."
"Hopefully he understands that these are trying times," Johanna remarked as she got into the car.
"I'm sure he does," he assured; "I'm going to bring you back ten minutes late to make sure your friends, enemies and admirers are all a flutter by the end of the day."
"Sounds like the most fun I've had at work in a long time," she replied as she leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes, feeling a little weight ease from her shoulders.
A warm breeze ruffled Johanna's hair as she swirled the red wine around in her glass as she and Andrew sat at the outdoor café they had chosen for lunch. Usually she would've declined the indulgence; the memory of the trouble it gave her was never far from her mind but she had enough self control to stick to one glass…and really, she hadn't even been served a full glass so she didn't feel the need to worry much.
"Mom says you're thinking of retiring," Andrew remarked after he had swallowed a bite of his lunch.
Johanna nodded and then took a sip of her wine before putting the glass down and picking up her fork once more. "Yeah; I think it's time."
"Because of the Calvin goon?"
"No…I mean the goon is a part of it for sure; so is everyone else who keeps harping that I need to forget my husband and move on with someone else. It does get to me more and more every time I have to hear it. I'm tired of it…I'm also tired of the job. I just don't want to do it anymore."
"It's a big part of who you are though," he replied; "Are you sure you want to let it go?"
"Yes," she said; the memory of her dream from the night before still in mind…the warm tones of Jim's voice telling her it would all be fine soon…which could only mean that he supported her desire to leave the firm and the annoyances behind. "I feel like it's time. I never thought I would have this feeling…but I do."
"It's a big decision," Andrew remarked; "Are you sure you're going to be happy giving up your place at the firm?"
"I'm not happy now," Johanna replied; "So what will be the difference?"
"But if you're unhappy either way, why give up your career? At least you have somewhere to go every day…something to do."
"That's why I've stayed as long as I have," she admitted. "When Jim died, my passion for the job started to die too. Katie was still in college though and I had tuition to pay for…that was my excuse back then for staying…even though I knew good and well that we had an account that we paid for Katie's school expenses out of and that I could've quit and still been able to take care of things. Then when Katie finished school, I kept working because I felt like it was all I had…every other way I tried to lose myself had been deemed unhealthy…but there was work…and that was expected of me…so I lost myself in it for a good while. But it's not enough anymore…it doesn't feel like it's worth what I have to put up with anymore. Jim and I had savings, investments…I've continued doing the things we always did so I know I can retire and live comfortably…as a widow, I can also draw Jim's pension before I can draw my own. I'm also not saying that I'm not going to work at all ever again…I've put in a call to Columbia to see if there will be any openings in the law faculty department. You know I teach there at times…maybe they can offer me something more permanent."
"But you're still going to be unhappy?" he asked.
She smiled a little. "Yes…maybe not as unhappy as I am right now…but I'm never going to be totally happy again. I can pinpoint the last moment I was truly happy…and that was thirteen years ago. I have happy moments…but complete and total happiness is something I'll never have again and I've made my peace with that."
Andrew studied her for a moment as she took a bite of her lunch; thinking back to that day in January when he had caught her in his arms as she crumbled to the floor at the morgue. Her anguished screams of 'no' and 'why' had rang in his ears and haunted him for months. At the funeral she had been a pale figure in black, holding on tightly to her sobbing nineteen year old daughter. She had accepted condolences in a haze…she had taken Katie and disappeared during the reception. When he saw her again a few days later, it was clear that the light that had always shown in her eyes had been extinguished for good.
He blinked, his gaze colliding with hers as she looked up at him. The light was still out and it had pained him through the years to see her so lost without her other half. He had never found the kind of love that Jim and Johanna had shared…that she still held tightly in her heart and lived on. But he knew how she felt…his brother's absence had left a huge hole in his life. Jim was his best friend, his childhood partner in crime, his defender, his confidant. When he had died, he couldn't help but ask God why, if he had to take one of his brothers, why couldn't it have been William? The brother who cared so little for his family that he hadn't seen his mother and siblings in years. He felt ashamed of the thought…after all, he didn't want any of his siblings to be dead…but he had had the thought just the same although he never admitted it to anyone.
"What are you thinking about?" Johanna asked.
"Jim," he replied.
She nodded. "I think about him every day…but especially yesterday and today."
"Mom told me about your anniversaries when we talked this morning. She wanted me to know in case you seemed reluctant to going through with her plan today."
"I kind of fell apart on her at dinner last night," she replied; "But everything was just getting to me yesterday…and I was missing him even more than usual…so he's even more present in my mind. I still talk to him…Katie doesn't think it's healthy that I talk to him so much…but it makes me feel better…it makes me feel closer to him."
Andrew gave her a sympathetic smile. "There's nothing wrong with it, honey," he said quietly. "I talked to him the whole way to your office, asking him not to strike me down for taking out his wife."
Johanna laughed. "He wouldn't do that; he understands."
"I told him I'd be on my best behavior," he said with a grin.
She laughed softly. "I dreamed of him last night."
"What did my brother have to say?"
"He told me everything was going to be fine soon…I had told him I wished he could help me make up my mind about retiring…so I'm taking that as my sign that he thinks I'm doing the right thing."
Andrew nodded. "I know for a fact that he wouldn't want you to stay somewhere where you're unhappy and being bothered by men who can't take no for answer and people who can't mind their own business."
"I think it's time," she agreed; "Maybe I'll feel better being away from all of it. I'm open to a position at Columbia if one comes up but if it isn't right away, I'll be okay…I can spend some more time with Liz; get her out a little more. Gabby can come spend the day with me when there isn't school. Maybe if I'm lucky, my daughter might ask me to do something with her. I'll find ways to stay busy."
"I'm sure you will," he replied; "If it's what you truly want and you feel the time has come, then I support you in that decision just as I know Jim would. You're still at the top of your game; that's the best time to go out."
"I agree…I also have a lot of books I haven't read yet; I'll have time for those. I just haven't decided if I'm going to quit at the end of the summer or at the end of the year."
"What does your gut say?"
"It's kind of telling me the end of summer is a good place to stop…but I'll give it some more thought."
"If you need to talk it over some more, don't hesitate to bend my ear," he replied. "Speaking of talks…I'm going to need you to give one to Gabby soon."
She smiled a little. "Which talk is it?"
"The…you know…the…period one," Andrew said, waving his fork over his plate a little as he struggled with the words. "They've discussed it in health class but she's hinted that she has more questions…especially about what to buy so she can be prepared…so…if you could maybe handle that for me sometime soon, I'd appreciate it."
Johanna laughed a little. "Yeah; I can take care of that. How about this weekend? You can drop her off and I'll answer her questions and take her to the drugstore; it would be best for her to go ahead and have a supply so she's ready when the moment comes…that way she won't be caught as off guard as she could be."
He nodded. "That would be great…I do appreciate everything you do for Gabby; you know that right?"
"Of course I do; it's never been a problem."
"You've been like a mother to her since she was born…I don't know if I would've been able to do it without you and Mom…especially with me having to travel so much for work."
"It's never been a hardship to me," she replied; "You know that. To tell you the truth, when she was a baby, I was sometimes glad when you had to go out of town…having a baby in the house to tend to at night kept me occupied…and it was nice to wake up and have someone depending on me for something. She's older now and more self reliant but it's still nice when she stays with me…it keeps me from being lonely. I like having her with me."
"She always enjoys her time with you…and I rest easier when I'm away knowing she's in your care. Which is why I didn't hesitate to do this when Mom called last night and said you were having trouble; she said she didn't think you'd ask yourself, that's why she called me…and I want you to know that you can always ask; I'll always do anything that's within my power to do for you, Jo. All you ever have to do is ask."
"I know…but this was kind of awkward…it's not exactly easy to call up your brother-in-law and say, hey, I need you to pretend to date me so people will leave me alone."
Andrew laughed. "I admit, it felt a little odd hearing Mom say it but she explained, I understood and I didn't hesitate. Gabby and I love you; in a sister sense for me of course, but I want to make sure you know that."
"Of course I do; I love you both too; you know, in that brother sense," she laughed.
"If you need to tell Calvin in it's in the other sense; go ahead," he said with a grin; "It won't hurt my reputation to have a beautiful woman out saying she's crazy about me."
"You could do worse," she said lightly.
"I have," he said with a nod.
"That's true."
Andrew laughed. "Glad you didn't deny it."
"What kind of sister-in-law would I be if I lied to you?" she teased.
"Not a fun one, that's for sure," he chuckled; lighter air falling over the table as they moved away from the more serious topics.
It was ten minutes after one when Andrew escorted Johanna back to her office; Sharon watching intently as they stepped across the threshold. "Thank you for lunch," Johanna told him, brushing her fingertips against his chin as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.
"My pleasure," he replied, an easy grin tugging at his lips, amusement sparkling in his brown eyes at the knowledge that Sharon was taking it all in. "Why don't you check your calendar and see if you're free for lunch on Friday? I've got a light day that afternoon; maybe we can make the most of it."
She smiled. "I'll check the schedule but I should be available at the same time."
"I certainly hope so; it'll be a nice way to end the week," he said smoothly as he took her hand and brushed a kiss against her skin. "I'll let you get back to work now…talk to you later?"
"Yes, of course," Johanna replied, a hint of a grin playing on her lips as she felt Sharon's stare. "I had a nice time."
"Me too," her brother-in-law said sincerely. "I'll talk to you later, Angel face."
"Okay, be careful getting back to the office."
"I promise," he replied, his hand brushing her arm before he gave Sharon a small wave goodbye and left the office.
Johanna watched him go and then turned toward her secretary. "Any messages while I was out?"
"Your two o'clock appointment canceled," Sharon stated; "She's reconciled with her husband."
"I had a feeling that was going to happen," she replied. "Anything else?"
"Your court date for next Tuesday has been rescheduled for June eighteenth; the opposing attorney has a family emergency."
Johanna nodded. "I'm sorry for the family emergency but that takes one thing off of next week's schedule. Next week was a little full…but with a reconciliation and a postponed court date, that frees things up a little."
"For your next lunch date?" her friend asked.
"No, I was thinking in regards to giving me more time to spend on the other cases I'm working on."
"What are you doing, Jo?" Sharon asked.
Johanna gave her a puzzled look. "I'm standing here waiting on you to tell me if there are any more messages or schedule changes? Since my two o'clock canceled, I might finish up the file I was working on before lunch and head home early today. I can do some more work at home and get caught up on some things around the house."
"That wasn't what I meant," the secretary replied. "I meant what are you doing with Andrew?"
She shrugged. "We went to lunch. He took me to that new outdoor café; it's very nice…the food was good and so was the wine."
"Wine? I thought you only had a drink if you were with Katie?"
"Sometimes I have one with other people…I've had one with you not too long ago. I know my limit, Sharon; I don't have more than one glass. I don't need someone to police me."
"Yeah, well I remember a time when you were walking in here hungover most days. I remember sitting with you in the hospital that night you were drunk and thought you were going to drive home until you fell and cracked your head against the car."
Her cheeks burned with shame at the memory. "I wouldn't have fallen if you hadn't been grabbing me…and second, that was almost thirteen years ago. I don't need it hung over my head like it was last week."
"I grabbed you because I wasn't going to let you drive drunk," Sharon retorted. "You know that. Now since when do you go on lunch dates with Andrew?"
"Since when do I answer to you like you're my mother?" she shot back.
"I'm supposed to be your best friend…I want to know what's going on with you. One day you're an emotional basketcase swearing off men and the next you're on a lunch date with Andrew. What the hell are you doing?"
"You all told me I needed to move on. I've gone out with Andrew a few times," she lied, unless McDonalds runs with him and Gabby after her niece's dance recitals counted. "He asked me to go to lunch with him and I said yes. I'm just doing what you all wanted."
"He's your husband's brother!"
Johanna shrugged. "So?"
"So that's sick!" Sharon exclaimed. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"It's not like I'm related to him by blood," she replied. "You all keep reminding me that Jim is gone…that my marriage is over…so technically speaking there's no reason for me not to see Andrew if I want."
"There's a moral reason!" Sharon exclaimed. "You don't date your husband's brother whether he's dead or not! It's sick! What possessed you to do this?"
"Andrew's comforting…he's familiar."
"Oh my God," Sharon said with slight disgust. "You're going for him because he's Jim's brother which makes it easier for you to pretend it's Jim. That's even sicker, Jo."
"I don't pretend he's Jim!" she said angrily. "I wouldn't do that!"
"Oh come on, you know that's what you're doing. They resemble each other enough that it's probably very easy for you. Tell me you're not sleeping with him."
"That's none of your damn business," Johanna retorted. "You all want me to move on, date someone…well I went out with someone like you all say I should do and you want to yell about that too."
"It would be all well and good if it wasn't your husband's brother!" Sharon exclaimed. "It's sick, Johanna; sick. Do you get that? It is totally disgusting…Jim is probably rolling in his grave."
The comment made her heart twist a little but she pushed away the feeling of dread that she might have upset her husband…after all, she had explained to him that she had to play a game of pretend for awhile…he understood, she was sure of it…just as she was sure he'd rather her pretend with someone he knew she'd be safe with. Whenever he had to be away, Jim had always told her to go to Andrew if she needed help with something; that he'd take care of it. So really she was only doing what she had always been told to do; Jim wasn't there to help with her problem…so Andrew stepped in as he had always promised his brother he would. "Andrew's a good man," she said slowly. "He understands I'll never love anyone the way I loved Jim. He understands a lot of things about me. We get along well…and even Elizabeth doesn't have an issue with it. If I'm going to see someone, I feel certain that Jim would want it to be someone he knew and trusted. He trusted Andrew."
"He would kill him," her secretary remarked.
"If he was alive to kill someone, I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I'd be with my husband…I'd have no need of anyone else. He was all I ever needed…I still need him but I can't have him as you all keep reminding me. You know, you want me to move on…I'm trying to do that and it's still not good enough."
"Because you picked your brother-in-law!" Sharon exclaimed. "That's sick. You have a problem, Jo. If you want to find a man, that's great; but pick one who doesn't have the last name Beckett!"
"Well I would but I have high standards when it comes to men. My mother-in-law says picking a man is like picking a puppy; you need to pick the right breed that suits you. The Beckett breed suits me just fine."
"It's wrong; I don't care if your mother-in-law is fine with it or not; it's wrong. Does Katie know about this?"
"No, she doesn't…and she doesn't need to," Johanna replied; "It isn't any of her business. I don't stick my nose in her relationship."
"I kind of think it is her business when you're dating her uncle!"
"Oh for God's sake, Sharon. I wouldn't call it that…we just see each other."
"I still think she should know…what if this gets more serious than it is? What's she supposed to call him, Uncle Step-Daddy?"
Johanna sighed. "Sharon, there is one thing I can assure you of and that is the fact that I am never getting re-married. So Katie is never going to have to worry about having a step-father. If I want to go out with Andrew that's my business. I'm only doing what everyone has been harping at me to do…now I guess you want to pick who I see."
"Well I do think you should pick someone who isn't related to your husband!"
"And who do you suggest?"
"You could start with Calvin…he was very hurt to see you leaving with another man after yesterday's tirade against dating."
"I don't like him and I'm not dating him. I'm not dating anyone in this building. I don't even intend to be working here this time next year," Johanna remarked.
"That's another thing," Sharon replied; "What is this nonsense I hear from Mark about you retiring?"
"It's not nonsense, I am retiring…either at the end of the summer or the end of the year; I haven't decided the exact date yet."
"Don't you think we should've discussed it?"
"I was going to tell you when I finalized my plans."
"What are you going to do if you're not here?" she asked. "You won't be happy sitting at home, Johanna. You'll just think about Jim constantly and sink under that cloud of depression again."
"I'm waiting on my contact at Columbia to give me a call back," Johanna replied. "I put in a call asking if they'll have an opening in the law faculty. I'm ready for a change of pace. I'm done with this job, Sharon. I've practiced law for thirty-nine years…that's more than enough. I'm tired of it…I'm also tired of working here and putting up with everybody and their opinion of how I should live my life. It's time for me to move on alright…it's time to move right out the door."
"What about me!" Sharon asked.
"If you want to stay on, Mark can assign you to someone else…or you can retire too and do all those things you always talk about wanting to do…but I'm done, Sharon. I've had enough…I've given all I'm going to give to this place. It's time to let go."
"We said let go of Jim, not your career."
"I'd rather let go of the job…I only wish Jim had…if he had, he'd still be here with me. I don't owe the law anything anymore…it took my husband from me…I don't owe the profession anything anymore. Now if we're done here, I'm going to finish up that file and then take the rest of my work home," Johanna said as she swept toward the door of her office, leaving her friend staring after her.
Sharon turned her attention back to her computer but her mind wasn't on her work as she wondered if she should notify Katie of her mother's behavior.
Late that afternoon Kate was just beginning a drive home from New Jersey where she and Castle had to speak to a potential suspect in the case they were working on. She had been hopeful about the lead; but it hadn't panned out. Their newest suspect had an air tight alibi and hadn't been able to tell them anything they didn't already know. She sighed deeply; they had made the drive for nothing which had annoyed her and wiped away those lingering good feelings she had been holding onto from their date night the evening before. Her phone buzzed and she frowned even more. "Castle; can you check and see who is texting me?"
He hesitated for a moment. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah; I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't…I don't have anything to hide."
"Okay," he said; feeling like this must be another small milestone in their newborn relationship. "It says Sharon."
"Oh God," she muttered; "Open it and read it to me; if my mother has gone AWOL again, I swear to God, I'm going straight to the cemetery, whamming her with her purse and throwing her in the back of the car because I am not in the mood for this today."
"That sounds like fun," he said lightly before he opened the text message. "The message says, "Call me, I think your mother is losing her mind'."
"Christ," she exclaimed; "What did she do now!?"
"She doesn't say…but if you want to pull over somewhere and call and find out, I don't mind…in fact I'm kind of intrigued. New Jersey was such a bust I could use a pick me up."
Kate shot him a quick look. "You think this is going to be a pick me up?"
"We can hope it's the good kind of crazy."
"Is there a good kind, Castle?"
"Of course…just look at me," he quipped with a grin.
"That's not as comforting as you had hoped," Kate said as she spotted a supermarket up ahead. She merged into the turning lane and pulled into the parking lot, finding a spot to park so that she could call her mother's secretary.
"What has she done now?" Kate asked when Sharon answered the phone. "Did she not show up for work? Did she not come back from lunch, what?"
"She showed up…and she came back after lunch briefly before she packed up her work and left."
"Okay," she said slowly; "So what is the problem? Why do you think she's losing her mind? She always leaves early on slow days."
"We have to back up to yesterday," Sharon stated; "When she finally showed up she was an emotional basketcase…"
"It was one of her anniversaries with Dad…she's always a little more emotional than usual on those days; you all should be used to it by now."
"I know and I am…but she comes in emotional, tells off Calvin, threatens him…"
"Did she pull the gun again!?" Kate exclaimed.
"No, but she threatened to let him see it up close and personal."
She breathed deeply. "What did he do to earn that?"
"He said it's time for her to act like she knows her husband is dead."
Kate's jaw tightened. "Well then I think he got off easy, he didn't need to say that to her."
"He was just upset," Sharon went on; "He's been trying to get her to give him a chance and she went on this big tirade about how she'd never date him, how she doesn't want any man."
"I'm familiar with the song," Kate sighed, rubbing her fingers across her forehead; no wonder her mother had gotten pissed off at her the night before; after dealing with Calvin, she had most likely had the dating conversation with Sharon which never went well.
"Any way," Sharon said; "She says she's not going to date anyone and then today, Andrew Beckett shows up with flowers and takes her to lunch."
Kate's brow furrowed. "What?"
"Your father's brother came here and picked her up…for a date…he brought her a white rose; kissed her cheek…they were very cozy. They were gone for over an hour and plan to do it again Friday. I asked her what the hell she was doing and she said she's seeing him…."
"What!" she yelled.
"That's what she said; I told her that's sick, he's her husband's brother, it's morally wrong and she says that he's familiar and comfortable and she'll go out with him if she wants to. That everyone tells her to move on so she is. I told her she has a problem and she says there's nothing wrong with it; that even your grandmother approves."
"Wait, what…so she's saying this has been going on?"
"That seemed to be what she's implying," Sharon exclaimed. "I can barely wrap my head around it; dating her husband's brother…something is wrong with her, Katie."
"Yeah…that's sick," she agreed; "That's going to have to be dealt with."
"Oh and while they were out to lunch, she was drinking…maybe that's why she's been all over the map the last two days; she had her glass of wine at lunch."
Kate closed her eyes. "Was she drunk?"
"No…but she made sure I knew she had wine at lunch. She's also on some kick about retiring; saying she might be done here by the end of summer and that's just come out of nowhere! Something is going on with her...I really think she's drinking again to be acting this way."
"Retiring?" she repeated; "She hasn't said anything to me about retiring…she's never in my whole life said anything about retiring…what the hell is going on?"
"I don't know…but I think she's finally cracked and lost her damn mind."
She hated to admit it but it did sound like her mother had lost it. "She really went to lunch with Andrew?"
"Yes! And that's just disgusting, Katie. You know she's pretending he's Jim…why else take up with your dead husband's brother? You need to get her some damn help because this is a sick situation. I don't know how long this has been going on but it needs to stop. If she wants to date, that's one thing…there are plenty of men here at work who would be more than happy to take her out…she doesn't need to keep dipping in the Beckett gene pool. My God; what's she going to do, hit up all of his brothers?"
"No…no she isn't," Kate said firmly. "I will deal with this."
"Good," Sharon replied; "I asked her if you knew about this thing with Andrew and she said no that it wasn't any of your business…but I think it is your business."
"Oh you're damn straight about that," she remarked; "I'll deal with it. Where was she going when she left? Did she go home?"
"That's where she said she'd be."
"Good. Thanks for calling."
"No problem…I hope you can take care of this; she really worries me at times."
"Don't worry, it'll be settled. I'm on the road so I have to go."
"Alright, Katie; I'll keep you updated if anything else strange goes on."
"Thanks," she said before ending the call.
"So what's wrong?" Castle asked as Kate laid the phone down and scrubbed her hands over her face.
"My mother's lost her mind."
"In what way?"
"She went on a lunch date…"
"I thought you wanted her to date?"
"I did…I just didn't want her to date my father's brother! What the hell is she thinking! I swear to God, she drives me insane! I don't know how Dad did it…I honestly don't; she is a full time job all on her own, I swear she is. I'm just going to go have her committed and be done with it!"
Castle laughed despite himself. "Keep in mind that she's got a gun."
"I've got a gun too," she retorted; "And what did I tell her on the phone yesterday about the gun?"
"Not to pull it on anyone…did she pull it?"
"No; but she threatened to during a tirade against dating and then today she turns around and goes out with my uncle…who showed up with flowers…no…no, this is not happening," she said as she started the car up. "I don't know what she's thinking but I'd rather her go back to standing in the cemetery."
"Well…it's not something that's going to be looked on with approval…but I mean he's not related by blood to her."
"He's related by blood to me!" Kate exclaimed. "He's my uncle!"
"Yes; on your father's side…and it's probably natural for a woman who has been mourning a long time to look for someone who can remind her of her husband."
"Castle; I don't care that they're not blood related…they have the same last name, he's my father's brother! His favorite brother! What the hell is wrong with her! I'm not going to stand for this, no way."
"Maybe he cares for her," he said slowly; "I mean you're looking at this as a one sided thing…you're thinking it's all on her…but maybe he's the one who asked her…maybe he has feelings for her."
"The only feelings he has for her are the ones that scream 'free babysitter' for his kid," Kate said tersely. "He's sick too for doing this…I thought brothers had a code not to fool around with each other's wives, girlfriends or whatever."
"Well…most men do…but with your father being gone…I guess that kind of clears the way," Castle remarked. "I know you've mentioned that she's helped raise your cousin…so basically she's been a co-parent…feelings could have developed that way. Maybe it's been going on for awhile and they just didn't tell anyone."
"Whatever the case may be, it's going to stop. My mother is not dating my father's brother. That is sick and twisted, Castle."
"But what if she cares for him?"
"She doesn't…like Sharon said, she's probably just using him because he resembles Dad enough that she can pretend she's with him…which is even more sick and twisted. It's not happening. I hope you don't mind, but we're taking a detour on the way back to the precinct because she went home early and I'm dealing with this as soon as I cross the state line."
"No; no problem," he replied; "But, Kate…if you don't feel comfortable with her dating someone you know and trust…are you going to be comfortable with her dating anyone?"
"It's not about that! She can pick someone else…someone who isn't related to my Dad. She can go out with one of the people at work if she's ready to date."
"It seems kind of odd though," he commented; "Yesterday she was angry that you wanted her to date and today she's on a lunch date."
"Yeah, well, maybe she's been playing a game the whole time, Castle. How do I know what she's really doing every day? I see her once a week…sometimes twice. When I'm busy it's less…right now I haven't seen her in two weeks…she can tell me anything over the phone and I take her word for it. I just assume she goes to work, goes to Grandma's and goes home. She's been so adamant that she's against seeing anyone that I've never considered that she was lying and seeing someone secretly."
"That's why it doesn't make sense, Kate," he remarked. "Maybe it's not what you think."
"If it's not what I think, then why does Sharon think the same thing? I mean she was there, she saw him come in, he brought her a flower, he kissed her cheek…they were gone for over an hour and they're planning to do it again Friday. That sounds like dating to me."
"Well…we've been easing our way into dating…and when we meet up either for something at home or a dinner out, I don't kiss you on the cheek…I kiss you on the lips like couples do. If they're dating and not hiding it anymore, why kiss her on the cheek? Why not kiss her on the lips? It's not like it had to be a full out makeout session; he could've given her a quick peck on the lips."
"Maybe he didn't because she was at work," Kate retorted. "You don't kiss me at work."
"No…but I'd like to."
"I'd…like that too…but you know we can't," she replied. "Gates can't find out or you'll be out the door so fast both of our heads will spin…and I don't want that to happen."
"I know," he replied; "Neither do I…that's why I don't kiss you at work."
She smiled a little. "You can kiss me after work though."
"Already on my schedule," he quipped. "What kind of flowers did he give your mother?"
"A rose."
"What color?"
"What does it matter? Roses are for romance."
"In some respects," he replied; "I gave you roses for our first date, what color were they?"
"Red."
"Yes, the color of love. What color did your mother get?"
"White; but it doesn't matter, Castle. My Dad gave Mom roses all the time; he gave her red on anniversaries, her birthday and Valentines; other times he gave her pink or white because she loves pink roses…he never gave her yellow though…she hates yellow anything."
"But still; red is considered the romantic color. White roses are a symbol of purity," Castle remarked.
"They're also used at weddings…the color doesn't matter; a rose is a rose," Kate stated.
"Maybe…maybe not. We don't know the whole story."
"Well we're going to know the whole story," she said, her hands tightening on the wheel. "Sharon thinks she's drinking again; she mentioned having a glass of wine at lunch."
"When she had an issue; did she stop completely or did she go back to normal habits?"
"Less than normal in my opinion…I mean normally she didn't drink a lot; she'd have a glass of wine if they went somewhere nice for dinner, she'd have a glass at home occasionally, not every day but once in awhile…she'd have champagne at weddings or parties…once in awhile she'd drink a beer with Dad but not often. For awhile after the car incident happened, she didn't drink at all…but then one day she said she wanted a glass…and that she wanted to know she could have one without going overboard…so we went out to dinner and she had one glass. As far as I know, she still doesn't keep it in the house…but I don't go through the cabinets…maybe I should…because she could be backsliding and I wouldn't know it unless it got bad."
"If she still occasionally has a glass of wine, then a glass today at lunch isn't necessarily a bad thing," he replied. "If she doesn't keep it at home, then it stands to reason that she only has a glass if she's out for a meal or something."
"But how do I know for sure? I don't spend as much time with her as I probably should…she gets lonely."
Castle glanced at her. "Then maybe you need to make a little more time for her."
"It's hard to do sometimes, Castle…it's not always easy. I work a lot…we're in this new phase of our relationship and I like having my time with you. I love my Mom…I like being with her…but at some point she always has to bring up Dad because she can't help herself and I just…I can't always handle it. Sometimes I don't want to talk about him. Sometimes it's too hard…that's why it's hard to go shopping with her…I'm always thinking about the shopping trip we were on when he was dying."
"Have you ever told her that?"
"No…I can't…I just usually blow it off if I can think of a reasonable excuse. I was supposed to go with her last weekend but lied and said I got called into work. If I told her the truth it would just make it worse."
"If you told her the truth, she'd probably stop asking you and it wouldn't be an issue between the two of you."
"Maybe one day I'll tell her…but for today, I have to end this thing with Andrew and make sure she's not drinking more than she should be…and ask her when she suddenly decided to retire…she's never mentioned it to me. I thought she told me everything."
Castle glanced at her. "If there's one thing I've learned for sure, it's that mothers never tell you everything. I should know…I have my own sometimes troublesome mother at home."
Kate sighed. "Do you think we could get them to move into together?"
"If we did that, my mother would be picking up men for both of them before the week was out. I'm not sure the world is ready for that."
"Good point; better to deal with them individually…and mine is getting dealt with today."
Jim glanced at the clock on his computer screen and grimaced; only two-thirty…it felt like the day was never going to end; but of course every day seemed to have that feeling since he had gotten the news that in a few weeks he could go home if he chose to do so. Of course he was going to go home; that was what he had been waiting for for so long. He looked at the stack of files on his desk and sighed a little…a few more weeks…just enough time to wrap up his work. When he had gone with the F.B.I. he was told it was too risky for him to openly practice law…and so two months after he had been placed in Virginia, his agent had sent him to this firm that specialized in legal research in partnership with a few of the city's major law firms. It was a good medium for him, he enjoyed the work; he got to help put cases together without worrying about trying them. He even got to travel sometimes…but never to New York; he was always sent south or west.
Jim picked up his cup of coffee and took a long sip of the black liquid hoping it would wake him up some more. He hadn't slept much the night before, his dreams had been odd…sometimes dark…sometimes worrying…full of Johanna and sometimes Katie. He didn't mind the dreams of the past…dreams of happier moments to come…but the ones in between bothered him. The one that stayed with him the most was of Johanna…she had looked so sad it had made his heart ache. Her eyes had been full of tears, telling him she needed him…over and over again she told him she needed him. He had jerked awake in a cold sweat, worry knotting his gut that something was wrong at home. The worry gnawed at him so much that he had contacted Agent Highland that morning to ask if all was well. He had been assured that his wife and daughter were safe, that there weren't any hints of danger detected. Agent Highland had told him that it wasn't unusual for a person about to be released from protection to be antsy about things. He also reminded him once again that he didn't have to return to New York…that he could stay in Virginia and continue life as Robert Stafford while his family continued to believe what they had been told over a decade before.
But he couldn't do that. His daughter had taken a bullet chasing this case…she deserved to know the truth. It wouldn't ease his guilt…it wouldn't take away her pain, but he needed her to know…wanted to be a part of her life again…wanted to be there for all the milestones ahead in her life. Johanna deserved the truth…he couldn't keep letting her think that he had left her so permanently. He needed to make sure she knew that he had only done it to keep her and Katie safe…that he had thought of them every day he had been away. He had to see his mother…she was ninety years old and had had a few health issues prior to him leaving. Every day he worried that she'd die before he had a chance to tell her the truth…every day he worried that if she went before he got home, she'd get to heaven and look for him only to find out she had been lied to…and thoughts like that had kept him awake many nights. Jim breathed deeply; they all needed the truth and he needed his life back.
"Hey," Chuck said from the doorway. "There's this rumor going around that you're going to be leaving us in a few weeks."
Jim nodded; he probably should've told Chuck; after all, he was a good friend…he wasn't Jeff Campbell, but he was enough. He missed Jeff though; he hoped his best friend would understand what he had done. "I'm ready to retire," he stated. "The days here seem to get longer all the time."
"Why didn't you tell me or anyone else before you told the boss?" his friend asked.
"I didn't want any fuss."
Chuck grinned. "Now you know that's not the way it works around here; we'll need to have a party…but why so sudden? Do you have something else lined up?"
"I have some fences to mend," Jim replied. "It's long past due."
His friend eyed him. "Maybe we should discuss that over a beer later."
"Sure," he replied; maybe that would keep him from worrying so much…at least for a little while.