Noah scratched at the bandages that now covered the upper half of his arm. He was inside the mess hall, along with every other camper eating their breakfast.
As Noah continued to scratch, Harold walked up, slurping his mug of juice through a straw.
"You know, my uncle was once in a motorcycle accident.", said Harold. "He got a bandage on his arm exactly like your's. He just couldn't stop scratching it."
"Oh, yeah?", replied Noah. "What happened to him."
"He got an infection from all the scratching, turning his whole arm green and they had to lob it off at the hospital."
A long pause followed, after which Noah said, "Uh, thanks, Harold, but maybe you should just... walk away now."
Harold shrugged. "Suit yourself."
Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Eva was eating her food. An angry expression covered her face, and she chewed in exaggerated ferocity.
Courtney, who had just got seconds, noticed this, then sat opposite the brawny teen.
"So, hey, Eva?", began Courtney, only to be stricken by one of Eva's infamous glares.
"What?", said Eva, dangerously.
"Well, I just thought what we should do next for the good of our alliance.", said the Type A nervously. Before she could go any further, Eva interrupted her.
"I'll stop you right there. This alliance is through! From now on, we'll watch out for our own backs only!"
"But you can't do that!", said Courtney, angry and shocked.
"Well, you should've thought of our alliance before you threw me to Chef to be ripped open by a chainsaw!"
Eva then threw her half-full plate of food in Courtney's face, then stalked off. Courtney looked nervous for a second before turning red with rage.
(Courtney): If that ugly troll wants to play, she better be bringing her A game. My mother didn't raise a loser.
Near Courtney, Tyler was looking morose by himself at the end of the table. His fork made a screeching sound as he scraped it constantly on his plate, pushing his burnt eggs around.
Voices filtered into Tyler's head. "Can't you do anything right?!", was the loudest voice currently swimming in Tyler's thoughts.
Finally, he pushed his plate away, and made to leave the building.
Beth, who was walking next to Noah, said, "I'm getting pretty worried about Tyler. After what you said to him, he's just been in a funk these last few days."
Noah looked slightly worried as Tyler walked out of the mess hall.
(Noah): Admittedly, I do regret acting that way to Tyler. All in all, he's mostly relatively harmless, not the constant screw-up I said he was.
Noah, back in the present, merely shrugged his shoulders, putting up another apathetic front. "Eh, he'll get over it."
"But what if he doesn't?", countered Beth. "Since we're alliance mates, we should make sure he's happy."
"Speaking of alliances...", said Noah, looking at a darkly muttering Courtney. "We need to have a meeting pronto. I think I've just found an opening in the cohesion of our main opposition."
"Um, what?", said Beth, confused.
Noah rolled his eyes. "Just... gather all of our alliance members, and we'll meet later."
From outside the mess hall came the sound of a dull thud. "Um, you guys, you should probably come out here and help me?", came Tyler's voice.
The seven other campers all walked out of the building to see the hapless jock dangling by his foot in a snare in a tree.
"Like, how did that happen?", said Geoff, scratching his head.
"Don't worry, Tyler, we'll get you down.", cried Beth, running towards the tree. Unfortunately, she only got two steps in before she set off another trap. A large, wooden cage dropped down from somewhere in the limbs of the tree, trapping the seven other campers.
Cruel laughter echoed throughout the camp as Chris McLean entered the scene. "Well, well, well, looks like I've bagged a trophy room full of teens.", mocked Chris. "Today, you will all be performing in a hunting challenge!"
"Um, can someone please let me down already?!", said Tyler, irritably.
"Sure thing, dude.", said Chris, walking over to the rope attached to the ground and cutting it with a small hunting knife.
Tyler immediately fell headfirst into the cage below him, breaking it and knocking down his fellow campers.
Chris chuckled mildly as the campers managed to get back to their feet, brushing off dust from their torsos.
"Before we get into the nitty gritty of today's challenge, I'd like to personally congratulate each and every one of you for making it to the final eight. Today, all of you will be brought to the confessionals to share your thoughts on making it this far."
(Tyler): Do I have any expectations on winning? (Scoffs) No. It's like Noah said, I'm just one big screw-up. It's a miracle I even made it this far.
"Now, onto the challenge...", said Chris.
The camera flashed to show Chris now standing in front of the assembled campers at the boathouse. "Each of you will take a wooden tablet from this bag."
Chris held up a plastic trash bag, shaking it to illicit hollow, wooden sounds. "Carved on each of these tablets is the animal that you will be hunting today."
He then motioned to the boathouse. "You will have ten minutes to scour the boathouse for any supplies you might need for your hunt. First come, first served."
Chris then pulled open the plastic bag, holding it out to the assembled campers. Geoff was the first to walk up, and stick his hand in. Eventually, after much rummaging around, he pulled out a wooden tablet with a beaver inscribed on it. "A beaver? Cool!"
Eva and Courtney both tried to move towards the bag next, only to end up in a fight over who got their tablet first. Chris watched the fight escalate with a bored expression, eventually proffering the bag to Beth. Beth pulled out a tablet with a duck on it. "Well, at least this'll be easy.", she lisped, still looking somewhat uncertain.
Sadie was next, pulling out a tablet with a frog on it. "Phew! Just a cute, little frog."
Harold was next, pulling out a deer. Noah pulled out a racoon, while Tyler pulled out a bear. "A bear?", said a still depressed Tyler. "As if my life couldn't get possibly worse."
Soon, the campers went into the boathouse, leaving only Chris, Courtney, and Eva, the latter of whom were still tussling. "Ahem!", said an irritated Chris.
Courtney and Eva immediately paused in their attempts to kill each other for wooden tablets. "Would you girls please pick out your animals?", said Chris, huffily.
Courtney managed to make it to the bag first. She reached in and pulled out...
"A chipmunk.", said Courtney. "Well, at least this one won't be hard."
Eva walked up next and grabbed the last wooden tablet from the bag. Etched on the tablet was the seagull seen throughout the season, the one with the plastic soda holder around its neck. "And that can't be just any seagull.", said Chris. "That has to be that specific seagull. Animal rights have been complaining every time we got a shot of the bird, so this seems to be the cheapest way to get rid of it."
"Fine.", said Eva, rolling her eyes, before she walked into the boat house.
(Eva): Am I going to win this competition? Yes. Am I going to utterly crush the competition? Yes. Am I going to utterly humiliate Courtney on live TV? Oh, most definitely.
Inside, Tyler was rummaging in a crate, eventually pulling up bear food. Tyler immediately looked excited for his miraculous find, only to then look depressed again. "Oh, what's the use? I'll just mess it up and get mauled by a bear. It's what I'm good at."
Tyler then proceeded to throw the food behind him, striking Noah on the head. As Tyler walked away, Noah was about to snap at him, before the latter looked at the box Tyler had gotten the bear food from. Inside, there were numerous boxes of animal food and bait.
Noah looked around; Courtney and Eva were on the opposite side of the room, rummaging through more boxes. Discreetly, Noah got his alliance mates' attention. Beth, Sadie, and Harold were soon admiring Noah's find as well.
"Duck food? Frog bait!", said Beth, excitedly. "This is a great find, Noah."
"I know, but we have to keep it from Courtney and Eva, obviously.", said Noah. "Take what you need, then I'll hide it."
The other three did so, and, after getting his own racoon bait, Noah slid the box subtly into the shadows.
Meanwhile, Courtney found another great find: a tranquilizer gun! "All right, excellent!", she said, alerting Eva to her find. Eva scowled at Courtney's good fortune, then went back to her box, finding something even better in her eyes.
Eva soon walked past Courtney, carrying a large chainsaw. "Wha- a chainsaw!?", said Courtney, looking appalled. "That's... that's animal cruelty!"
"Oh, you're just jealous that you didn't find it first.", said Eva, walking outside. She was soon followed by most of the other campers, who had all at least found something. That is, except Tyler, who left the building with nothing except a sigh.
(Noah): Lie I told Cody in the motocross episode, I've never really accomplished anything substantial in my life. With seven other siblings, it's hard to find your place in the world. That's why I'm going to win at all costs, no matter the cost.
Harold crept silently along the forest floor. As he scooted through the foliage, trying to avoid every stick, he finally reached a large bush. He raised himself up slowly, and looked out over the bush.
There, in a pristine meadow, was his target: a beautiful buck deer.
Harold lowered himself back behind the bush. "OK, Harold, the key to any great ninja is the element of surprise."
Back out in the meadow, the deer continued to drink from a small, babbling brook. Suddenly, Harold leapt out of the bush, a small knife in one hand. "Yaaagh!!!", he yelled.
The deer immediately yelped in fright, and dashed away. Harold landed with a sickening thud on the grassy meadow.
"Like, gosh!", said Harold, after he spat out a clump of dirt and grass. "How hard is it to catch a stupid deer?!"
A twig snapped off to his right. "Uh, who's there?", said the dweeb, nervously.
Another twig snapped, followed by a pair of hands grabbing Harold and pulling him offscreen.
The camera cut to another part of the forest, where Beth and Sadie are sitting. The surrounding underbrush starts rustling, heralding the arrival of Noah and Harold, the latter of whom was dusting himself off after being grabbed by the former.
"Gosh, Noah, you could've at least tried to ask me to come to this alliance meeting.", complained Harold, sitting at the large rock Beth and Sadie were sitting on.
"All right.", said Noah. "It's about time we discussed..."
"Wait, what about Tyler? He's part of the alliance, too.", said Sadie.
"Oh, he's probably off sulking somewhere.", said Noah, rolling his eyes.
"You know, considering that you were the one who made him sulk, you should be a little more considerate, Noah.", retorted Sadie.
Noah looked guilty for half-a-millisecond, before reverting back to his bored expression. "Anyway, we need to discuss the recent fight between Courtney and Eva."
"Yeah, we do! Eva even broke apart their alliance!", said Harold.
"Exactly. Which is why we need to target one of them with votes, so there's only really one big threat left for us to face.", explained Noah. "Today, we need to make sure that neither Courtney or Eva wins the challenge."
"But which one will it be?", asked Beth. "Courtney or Eva?"
Harold scratched his chin. "I guess it just comes down to who's the strongest."
The sounds of a scuffle from nearby causes the alliance members to duck for cover. They eventually peek their heads out to see Eva trying and failing to capture her seagull, which was flying over her head.
Eva eventually grabs a spear-like stick from the ground, and javelin tosses it towards the gull. The stick flies through one of the loops in the plastic soda holder, and spears the seagull to a tree.
Eva punches her fist, and runs to claim her prize.
"Eva.", said each of the four alliance members.
(Beth): Can I actually win this thing? The truth is I've made it this far, so I might as well complete the whole thing. It's just that... whenever I get close to completing a project, I chicken out at the last minute. (Sighs) No, I'm not going to do that this time. This farm girl is going all the way to the top.
Eva was now running through the forest, carrying the seagull below her arm. "Piece of cake.", she says to herself, chuckling darkly.
Sadie and Noah peek their heads out from behind a tree nearby. Noah gives Sadie the thumbs up, and Sadie nervously walks out.
"Hey, Eva!", she calls, causing Eva to halt in her tracks.
"What?", she growls, glaring at the BFFL. Sadie gulped to herself and said, "Can I borrow some lipstick?"
Eva clearly wasn't expecting this response, as she raised an eyebrow. "Uh, excuse me?"
"I've like totally run out of mine, so I was hoping you had some."
"Does this face look like it uses pansy lipstick?", said Eva, pointing at her face. An extreme closeup reveals every homely portion of Eva's face. (1)
"No.", said Sadie.
"Look, I'd hate to have to stay here and talk with you, so I'm going to head out. I have a challenge to win.", said Eva, beginning to walk away.
"Uh, w-wait...", said Sadie, grasping for any excuse. Finally, she settled on one. "Oops, I tripped."
Sadie went into an obviously fake dive, crashing into Eva. This caused Eva to let go of the seagull, which fluttered away.
"You idiot!", yelled Eva, growling at Sadie. "I'm going to wring your neck!"
Eva made a grab for Sadie's throat, but with a yelp, Sadie ducked out of the way. Sadie was soon being chased by Eva throughout the forest.
(Sadie): I just so cannot believe I've made it this far without Katie. I finally feel that I can do something without her, something I never thought I'd be able to do. (Sniffs) I still miss you Katie!
A pebble was kicked across the ground by a red sneaker. Said sneaker belonged to Tyler.
He was walking dejectedly throughout the forest, kicking the pebble along the path.
Finally, he kicked the pebble hard enough for it to go zooming through the air, then turned back towards the campgrounds, giving up for the day.
Unfortunately, the pebble proceeded to hit the posterior of a rather large grizzly bear just across the way. The bear had been enjoying a snack of berries from a bush, but turned its head to growl in Tyler's direction.
Tyler yelped in fear once he heard the growls, and ran for dear life, closely followed by the bear.
Tyler ran with all his heart, but the bear was closing in fast. Finally, Tyler saw his salvation. A large tent was just visible through the foliage, and Tyler managed to duck into it. Luckily, the bear didn't see this, and went hurtling through the woods past the tent.
Inside, Tyler breathed a sigh of relief. He looked around to him to see that he was in a room filled with computer monitors and other film equipment.
"This must be where Chris films the whole show.", said Tyler in awe, walking amongst the computer consoles.
Finally, he came across a stack of VHS's. He saw that many of them had tape labels with the campers' names on them.
He picked up one clearly labeled Tyler, and popped it in to a nearby VHS player hooked to a monitor.
At first, static filled the screen. Then, a title card popped up:
TYLER'S FAN CLUB MESSAGES
"Fan club?", said Tyler, as the VHS started to play random clips. "But I don't have many fans, let alone a fan club."
As the VHS played, various messages from fans and some real-life friends played, each giving their support to their favorite character. Clearly, Tyler had grown to be quite the fan favorite since he returned to the show.
A tear fell across Tyler's cheek as he watched a particular message from a similarly clumsy athlete thank him for still competing in the show, despite Tyler's adversity.
Tyler's smile grew as the full fan club gave a whole-hearted goodbye to Tyler. Tyler stayed, staring with a big smile on his face, at the television screen for a long time.
Then...
Tyler heard the grizzly bear snuffling around outside, clearly still searching for him.
Tyler looked afraid for half a second, before confidence grew in him. He grabbed at a compartment of guy eyeliner (no doubt Chris's), and smeared the makeup across his cheeks.
As Tyler prepared to end his hunt for his bear, a montage played of all the other campers hunting themselves.
Courtney was up a tall tree, grabbing for a chipmunk in another branch. A loud snap occurred, followed by Courtney plummeting to the ground, the chipmunk laughing.
Harold was shimmying on the forest floor, closer and closer to the same buck deer. He reached for it... only to be kicked offscreen by the stag.
Sadie crept closer and closer to a frog in a marshland, a metal bucket poised for the kill. The frog continued to hop away, until Sadie stepped in a large puddle and inexplicably fell into a large pothole.
Finally, Geoff was shown getting slapped in the face by beavers, as well as Noah running away from a mechasuit of raccoons.
Back at the large tent, Tyler whistled from within to the grizzly bear still outside.
The bear smirked at the tent, and entered the tent. It sniffed throughout the tent, going through the rows and rows of computer equipment shelves.
Finally it came to one where all the equipment had been taken off. It looked in puzzlement at this out of the ordinary shelf, when it suddenly creaked and toppled over onto the bear.
Tyler looked down at the unconscious bear with victory.
"Now, how am I going to get it back to camp?", he mused to himself, before peeking out of the tent to see some ATV's lined up nearby.
(Courtney): My chances of winning this competition are 90% certain. The only reason it's not at 100 is because of Eva; she's the only threat I have for that prize money.
At the campfire pit, Chris was standing by a large, wooden cage, the same one that had previously trapped the campers earlier that day.
Suddenly, the sounds of ATV engines caused him to look up and see Tyler driving up to the pit, a large burlap sack in the back of the vehicle.
"Hey, who said you could drive one of my ATV's?!", said Chris, before he noticed the burlap sack on the back. "Is that...?"
"Yep.", said Tyler, unloading the sack into the cage.
"But... but I put the grizzly bear in as a joke! I didn't think anyone would actually capture one!" Chris peered closer at Tyler's face. "Why do you have guy liner on your face?"
The sounds of footsteps caused the pair to look up to see Courtney and Eva racing towards the cage.
Courtney got there first, slipping her chipmunk into the cage, closely followed by Eva doing the same with her recaptured seagull.
"Drat! I didn't win.", she said, darkly, glaring at Courtney.
"Ha! I beat you!", mocked Courtney.
"What? You didn't get here first either!"
"Yes, but I got here before you ever did, so... ha.", smirked Courtney, causing an ugly, angry red to light up Eva's face.
"If the bicker son's here are through doing what they do best, your reward for beating the challenge, Tyler, is a five course meal of your choosing.", said Chris.
"Woo-hoo!", said Tyler, just as Courtney and Eva said, "What!?"
Later in the day, a raccoon, frog, and duck had joined the other animals in the cage.
Geoff was the next person to appear, carrying a beaver under his arm. As Chris shut the cage behind the beaver, Chris consulted a clipboard.
"So, all we are missing is... Harold and his animal!" A pause. "Has anyone seen Harold?"
"Haven't seen him since this morning.", said Beth, shrugging.
A jump cut showed that Harold had somehow lashed himself to a deer with a rope. The deer was now racing through the woods, Harold screaming from its back.
Nighttime at the campfire ceremony. All of the campers were assembled, even Harold, looking bruised and dirty, as if he had just recently been rescued from the deer.
(Harold): My mad skills have carried me this far, and they'll carry me so far as the finish line. I have no doubt of my impending win.
"You all know the rules.", said Chris, walking up to the campers with his customary plate of marshmallows.
"Whoever does not receive a marshmallow must immediately walk down the dock of shame, catch a ride on the loser boat, and leave forever."
A jump cut later, Chris had only one marshmallow left on his plate. Courtney and Eva were the only ones without marshmallows.
"Courtney, Eva, you've both come a long way together, but only one of you gets to stay at camp for another three days. That person is...", began Chris.
...
...
...
... "Courtney!", said Chris, throwing the marshmallow to the hispanic girl.
"Yes!", yelled Courtney, pumping her fist. "In your face, you muscle-bound troll!"
An ugly purple shade filled Eva's face, but she seemed to calmly get up, and walk away.
However, as she passed Chris, she kneed him in the shins, flipped all the campers the bird, and yelled, "Bleep you guys!!!"
She then disappeared into the night, as the campers watched.
(Geoff): Woo-hoo! Final seven, baby! I think I've got a good chance of coming out on top... or not, I don't really care. Just so that the next seven challenges are a par-tay!
Campers: Beth, Geoff, Tyler, Harold, Noah, Sadie, and Courtney
Eliminated: Owen, Izzy, Bridgette, Justin, Leshawna, Katie, Lindsay, Heather, Trent, Duncan, Ezekiel, Gwen, Cody, DJ, and Eva
Votes
Eva (7)
Courtney (1)
(1)- Ah, SpongeBob references.
So, another major player has been eliminated! Who will be next, I wonder?
See you next chapter for a special reordering of challenges...