Hello people.

Yes, I know. It has been a terribly long time. To be honest, I don't know whether people are still checking out this fandom, and if anyone is still waiting for an update for this fanfic.

I owe you an apology. This thing we call life has caught up with me, coupled with the fact that we now have a pandemic, things got crazier. And it's time to admit this: my writer's block has gotten worse, affecting my drive to write. I don't know if I have found it completely with this chapter I wrote, and I am hoping that this burst of inspiration isn't going away anytime soon.

I miss you guys.

This time, the chapter offers Arata's point of view. Read on, and I hope this will answer some of your questions.

III

Arata stood at the door, his hand on the handle, lost in his thoughts as he heard the last phrase of Taichi's calm, yet silent demand to his estranged, but very much loved wife filter through the door crack.

"Let's talk about the things you were hiding from me."

Arata sighed, running a hand over his face as he turned and leaned back against the wood. He was worried, no matter how Taichi was calm as he entered the room. Considering Taichi's monumental break down earlier, he had good reason to be.

With a heavy heart, he straightened up from leaning against the door and started trudging away from the room with silent footsteps. Considering the mental state of his best friends, he naturally wanted to be there to help smooth things out as they discussed things, but it was a conversation which should have happened a long time ago, and should only be between the two of them. He has no right to butt in, not even when he was the best friend those two have.

And not to mention, they are, for lack of a better description and for all intents and purposes, husband and wife. Such a relationship could and should never be ignored, even after the years had passed with them being separated.

Without meaning to, instead of his original plan of heading to the hospital's cafeteria to eat, his feet decided to take him to the nearest open stairwell, having the urge to smoke a cigarette. It was a habit he had picked up when he had started college, due to all the stress from studies and some of his friends doing so. He never smoked more than a stick a day though – he recalled how Taichi had raised an eyebrow at him when he first discovered that Arata had developed such an 'unhealthy' habit – he was very conscious of his cigarette intake and really only just smoked whenever he was too stressed. "I'm not a chain smoker," his 20-year-old-self said defensively and embarrassedly to the brunette who was smirking knowingly, "I just smoke when I need to. Just one per day." He lifted the cancer stick.

To his annoyance back then, Taichi had laughed. "Wait 'til I tell Chihaya about this – "

"You would never dare."

To his surprise, Taichi grabbed the pack of cigarettes and took a stick out, at the same time flicking his own lighter open and taking an appreciative whiff. "Well, I guess it's okay once in a while."

Arata had raised an eyebrow at him.

Taichi shrugged. "This is rare for me. And before you ask, Chihaya knows. I only have this whenever it's too cold."

He rolled his eyes. "And she's okay with it?"

"Yes, since she knows that I do this very rarely. She made me promise to continue doing this only if once in a blue moon." He turned to lean forward against the railing of Arata's balcony in his apartment. "You know I don't hide things from her. If there was even the slightest chance she's not okay with it I wouldn't be smoking with you now."

Arata chuckled, though it sounded more disbelieving. "You just try, baka. You might find a deck of karuta cards aimed at your face."

The brunette laughed. "Gotta be careful with the nose."

Taichi's eyes had glowed back then, his laugh carefree and contagious. Is that how a man in love really looks like? A man in love and having his love returned? He marvelled silently, amazed at the expression of the brunette who had always been serious, almost to the point of brooding. Chihaya and her carefree, childish ways are at first glance, immature, but it was what the man obviously needed – he probably would have grown white hairs by now if not for his energetic cariad. In contrast, his seriousness or focus, as one may say, is what Chihaya needed to point her in the right direction, especially since she had not exactly outgrown her airhead ways even in college.

Truly, they balance each other out, and everyone knew it was a love story written by the universe, even if it sounded mushy to his ears.

He opened the door to the stairwell, hands already picking out the box of cigarettes from his coat pocket and lighter from his pants' back pocket. He took a stick out, flicked the lighter open, and took a whiff as soon as the other end was lit.

How can things change so much?

He was the first person to have noticed the changes in the seemingly happy relationship the two had, even just seeing them rarely and from afar. Even then it was something he had not wanted to believe. They were happy, he had thought back then, puzzled as little by little he noticed changes in the both of them. He never understood where the distant and worried look in Taichi's eyes came, and Chihaya's almost-depressive state. What's going on?

He was never one to pry, and he grew more worried as days passed. Add to that the fact that he couldn't exactly spend every day with the two of them – he had his own life to worry about after all and of course, they were already married and adults making their way in each of their lives – which served to add to the confusion. He had then decided to keep tabs instead of his two friends thru news of Chihaya's competitions, which were attended religiously by Taichi, of course, though he had noticed that during the final year of their marriage Taichi had started to appear less and less through all these.

What he didn't expect was that during Chihaya's competition in Australia, she had flown there all alone. This was what had confirmed that his two best friends seemed to be having issues – issues that had seemed to begin even before the final year of their marriage.

He remembered having sent a message to Taichi asking how he was doing, and if he wanted to catch up with him. Taichi's response then didn't sound that he seemed to be having problems, just responding with a sly message 'missing me? Sure thing, meet you at Thursday same place, 8pm.'

Arata inhaled and let a puff of smoke out. Back then Taichi met him at one of their favourite bar-and-grill restaurants in Tokyo, which also happened to be popular and famous. This was quite easy, since after college, Arata decided to permanently reside in Tokyo and managed to find a regular job. Them being regulars even during their time as students, they can always call the owner and have a table reserved for them whenever they were coming, the owner being fond of them, growing to care for them as if they were her own sons. She had been most overjoyed when Taichi and Chihaya eventually told her they were going out, and she was over the moon when eventually, they decided to get married.

The brunette was all smiles, greeting him with a hard clap on the back, but being one of the few people who have had the privilege of knowing him very well, he knew something was wrong. The smile he had didn't reach his eyes, there were bags underneath them, and he had a week's worth of stubble on his chin.

Not wasting any time, he went straight to the point, asking if he wanted to talk about his problems, why he looked like a mess – and why on earth was Chihaya all alone for her very first International competition in Australia.

"Don't lie to me Taichi. Please. I want to help."

Arata would never forget that night. It was the first time in a long while that he had seen his best friend and former rival lose his composure, running a hand through his hair repeatedly, the façade he had built up seeming to have crumbled into fine dust.

Taichi and Chihaya rarely argued. Why would they even anyway? They literally had eyes set on one another ONLY. Chihaya had no reason to be jealous despite of the women seeming to flock around her husband on a daily basis, and being a public figure, the entire country knows that she was married to Mashima Taichi – a man who had come from a very influential family, well known to be a family of doctors and is therefore, filthy rich. She was considered a celebrity, but her husband, known to be the youngest doctor to be given fellowship in Todai, could also be considered one, especially since them being together seemed to be a what people would call 'match made in heaven'. So yeah, every man would think twice trying to get their paws on her – certainly no competition there.

"Chihaya is driving herself to death. She won't take care of herself, she wasn't eating her meals properly and – " here he remembered the brunette's voice breaking, "she doesn't want me with her in Australia."

He had tried consoling his best friend, telling him to give it time and give her space. "It might help." He had said, not having it in himself to stop Taichi from downing his tenth glass of makgeoli that night. "You know women. They need their space every now and then."

Taichi had smiled wearily. "I know. I just don't understand why she seemed to be punishing herself. It feels like – like she wasn't telling me something."

Back then, Arata hadn't given much thought to it. Chihaya was never the type to keep her thoughts to herself, and she couldn't lie – not to the both of them anyway. She was very transparent – they could read her thoughts as clearly as if she had spelled it out herself it wasn't even funny.

Now, with the cold, winter air chilling him despite of his jacket, everything suddenly made sense. It all made fucking sense.

The media had started speculating that the two had decided to separate ways when Taichi started to be seen less frequently in her tournaments, something that the brunette before had made it a point to attend no matter how busy he was with his own hospital duties – eventually earning him the moniker 'The Nation's Husband', seeing as he had impressed and captured every woman's heart with his loyalty and never-ending support to his wife. What made the rumors worsen though, was when Chihaya had flown all alone to Australia.

Taichi eventually told him, in a resigned tone, that he and Chihaya had indeed decided to separate ways – one of the most painful and disappointing news he had ever heard, the other news being his grandfather's death years ago.

"But… why?"

As he and Taichi talked, it was clear throughout the conversation that it was Chihaya who had initiated the separation. Arata knew that Taichi would never give her up, but since Chihaya had made it clear that she didn't want the brunette in her life, Taichi had thought it best not to force his presence on her.

In spite of this, all through the years that his best friends had decided to go through their lives separately, no one, not between the two of them, had ever filed for a divorce. Some of his friends, who had been acquaintances to the two found this… weird, naturally.

"You know, Arata… I don't want to make it seem that I'm getting my nose in their business but… if they thought of separation, shouldn't they finalize it with a divorce? Isn't Mashima thinking of you know, getting back into the game? I mean if he wants to move on…" Takahara Masumi asked – his friend and one of Taichi's groomsmen during his wedding – one day while they were surveying the site that they had to check so that they can start the architectural design. "I'm not trying to make it seem that there wasn't any hope left, but it's been some time since they were both… together. Perhaps they should consider getting a divorce already? So that they can start afresh."

Arata had thought about asking this to Taichi, but found himself backtracking. It was not an option for him. Asking them to get a divorce was like acknowledging that there isn't any hope left, that they could no longer make things right or patch things up between the two of them.

Chihaya's best friend, Komano Kanade, was of like mind.

He frequented the Oe family's kimono store a lot, mainly because when he was still the reigning Meijin he had to get new hakamas. He found that he actually liked the small girl – she can be very energetic and passionate about the things she cared about, and he was happy that she is Chihaya's best friend, as she is someone who loves Chihaya with all her heart and takes care of her much like an older sister would.

Kanade admitted that she was not privy to the exact details of what had happened between Chihaya and Taichi, and she didn't want to ask out of respect of the two's privacy. She however, made it clear that she hoped they would be able to fix what was happening between the two of them, that divorce would not be an option.

"They are in love with each other, Wataya-kun." Kanade had said, and he knew it was not merely an observation. It was the truth that can be seen and cannot be denied. He knew, because he could see it in the way Taichi kept an eye on Chihaya thru news of her competitions, modelling and international tournaments. "I just wish… I just wish they would realize that they need each other instead of trying to keep themselves apart."

He did however, notice that Chihaya was getting paler and slimmer throughout the last few months. Chihaya had always been pale, her skin of an unmarred, porcelain white complexion, and kept a slim figure that made her the target of every woman's envy within a ten-mile radius. He however, started recognizing that something seemed to be off with the way she appeared in television – though she still is the epitome of beauty, she looked exhausted – there were bags under her eyes, her cheekbones were too pronounced, and she seemed to be dropping weight, so much that even the media took notice and started expressing concern for her. His worries worsened when Chihaya had suddenly announced her early retirement from karuta.

What the – Chihaya? Seriously?

Arata didn't expect that his concerns for her health would be confirmed in the worst way possible yesterday.

He was surprised to see Kanade calling his phone by late afternoon, and it was by sheer luck that he thought of turning the phone's setting for notification back to sound instead of it's usual vibrate mode. He was tired, having slept in during his break time in school and thought of ignoring the call, but something compelled him to answer it.

And he was thankful he did.

"Help, Wataya-kun! Chi-chan fainted, please, I – "

He was out of the empty classroom immediately, trying to get Kanade to calm down and explain what was going on, feeling that he may have misheard her. Is Chihaya back already?

He had arrived just in time to catch the ambulance parked outside the Komanos' home, and he felt relief, rather than surprise, at the fact that Taichi had come, who he deduced was also called by Kanade. He had to give it to him though – the man remained cool-headed, giving instructions to the EMTs, nodding at him to acknowledge his arrival (he didn't look surprised himself), after which he told them they can follow to the hospital if they wish to.

The rest is history.

Arata blew out the last of the smoke. Even when there is more than a meter of the stick remaining, he threw it into the trash bin situated nearby. He never had the habit of using up the entire stick.

Chihaya had been unconscious for the better part of the day, being very dehydrated and lacking proper sleep. As there was no immediate family member present, and even if they are separated but not divorced, Taichi was still her husband, and thus, was called by the doctor for a closed door conversation. He didn't have a good feeling about it, and it was confirmed the moment Taichi had stormed out of the door, alarming him and Kanade, and without a word, proceeded to get out of the area.

Kanade had wanted to follow when it became clear fifteen minutes later that Taichi wouldn't be returning immediately, but he stopped her. "Let me, Komano-san."

He found the brunette at the rooftop of the hospital, sitting against the railing, near the wall, his legs folded in front of him, arms hanging limply against his sides.

The posture screamed defeat.

"Taichi?"

He didn't turn his head to acknowledge him, not even batting an eye when he came in. His gaze remained straight ahead, amber eyes glassy and unfocused. He didn't like it.

"Taichi – "

"Why had she never told me?" Taichi had cut him off, his usual baritone voice dropping to bass. "Why? Didn't I deserve to know?"

Arata had stood, dumfounded. He didn't know what to say, mainly because this was a Taichi he had never seen. This Taichi was far from the cool-headed man he had seen at the Komano residence.

No. This man – he couldn't recognize this… this person who seemed to have replaced his best friend. This was a man utterly lost – someone who seemed to have come at a dead-end, and no longer knew what to do, which way was up or down. Trapped. Cannot see the way forward, but cannot move backwards either.

All of a sudden, Taichi sprang to his feet, turned to face the wall beside him, pulled his left arm back and punched the wall with all his might.

Arata had stood frozen, totally bewildered and thrown off. The brunette had thrown three more punches when reality came back to him, and it was only then that he had managed to move his feet which had seemed to be rooted to the ground. "Taichi! Stop!" He grabbed his upper arms, intending to pull him away from the wall, and got swiped by Taichi's elbow when he struggled against his hold, making him grunt but he didn't loosen his hold. "Stop it already!"

"Didn't she trust me enough? Had she even trusted me!?"

The struggle continued, until Taichi let out a howl, a sound rooted in grief and suffering, managing to throw one last punch against the wall and falling to the ground on his knees, taking Arata with him. He let him go, panting and huffing, suddenly no longer having the strength to contain Taichi, and stood up, still in total disbelief.

Taichi's knuckles were bleeding, the result of all the punches he had thrown against the unyielding wall. Seeing this had frustrated him. "I know you're hurting Taichi but what happened? What did the doctor say?"

There was nothing but silence from the brunette. Arata knelt in front of him, catching his shoulders, but he didn't look at him. "Taichi you have to tell me – "

"She didn't tell me." Taichi had once again cut him off. "She NEVER told me!" He yelled, finally raising his head to look at Arata, surprising the raven-haired man as he saw the unmistakable glistening of salt water in his amber eyes.

Arata's expression changed into calm, grieving for whatever it is that his friend still couldn't tell him. "What had she never told you, Taichi? What is it?"

Taichi was silent for a few minutes, seeming to have calmed down, until his voice came out, in a whisper.

"Chihaya has Follicular B-cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma."

Arata's hands from his shoulders dropped. He may not be a doctor, but he knew enough to recognize the term lymphoma and what it is. No, Chihaya was healthy. This is a joke. She couldn't have possibly…

But nothing had prepared him for what came next from Taichi.

"We had a child, Arata. We had… a baby."

Whew.

Rest assured that I am beginning to work on the next chapter – which will be our baby – Taichi's point of view. Now that everything is out in the open, what will happen to him and Chihaya?

I missed you dear readers. As always, please feel free to let me know what you think. I love you all, and 'til the next chappie!

All My Love,

Michiko