Hello Everyone! Finally I have had the time to post a new chapter! I've been student teaching this semester, so I do not have much time, but hopefully another chapter will be coming soon. When I originally started this chapter I believed it was going to be a short one, I was completely wrong. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to JK Rowling.
Lily Evans was dead. Ruthlessly murdered by Severus' former master. Dead because her son had been deemed a threat. Dead because of a prophesy. Dead because he had been foolish enough to share that prophesy with the wrong. people.
There were no words to describe the complete and total pain that now consumed him. In one evening his entire world had come crashing down on him. Even though he had tried to make amends, had turned his entire life around it meant nothing in the end. The woman he had loved since his childhood now breathed no more. Never had he sobbed so much in his entire life; never had he felt more wretched than he did right now in this instant.
Perhaps instant was the wrong word. He had been in this state of wretchedness for days now. Only leaving his rooms to meet with the Headmaster and teach his classes. Even his meals were being taken to his rooms. Not that it did any good, most of his food had been left untouched; despite the best efforts of Abner to make him eat.
Today though would be different. It was the Saturday of his hearing at the Ministry. Now that the Dark Lord had been vanquished, however temporarily this would be, the world had to go on. People had to put their lives back together. The wizarding world would have to be rebuilt. Naturally this meant that those on the other side had to face justice. Of course he too had to be put on trial. However unpleasant that seemed to him, it was something he knew that he had to do. It was only right.
This meant that today he would be traveling to the Ministry with the Headmaster. Just the thought of it left him in an uncharacteristically nervous state of mind. He would have to reign in and hide his emotions. Just as he had to for the past several years. While much had change, many things would stay the same, so many things. This time though, it would be much harder than it ever had been to hide his emotions. The pain was so great.
He straightened up and took a deep breath, he could do this. Taking his rosary out of the pouch at his waist he knelt down on the cold stone floor of his room. Prayer was the only thing getting him through all of this. Without it he would not have been able to even get out o bed, let alone function like a normal human being. Now he knew that he would need it more than anything to get him through this trial.
As soon as he began the prayer a sense of peace and calm washed over his entire being. A sense of purpose. Life was still difficult, and there would still be pain, but he would survive. Another day would come, eventually he would heal. However hard to believe that was. There was however one thing he was certain of and that was that he would never love anyone the way he loved Lily.
Once he had finished his prayer he had replaced his rosary in its pouch and grabbed his cloak from its place on the wall. He did not have much time. He would have to do his best to get to the Headmaster's office in a quick and timely fashion. Tardiness was something he utterly abhorred. Perhaps it was the fact that it was so severely punished in the ranks of the Death Eaters. At any rate being late to his own trial would not look good in the eyes of those passing judgement over him today.
Quickly he stepped out of the portrait hole and began making his way to the Headmaster's office. He desperately hoped that he did not encounter anyone along the way. Over the past few days he had been going out of his way to avoid everyone. Minerva especially.
He could not face her now. Not after what had happened. To think that the night before Lily's death he had attended a ball with her. He had kissed her of all things. His memories from that night had started coming back recently, even in a haze. It was not right, not decent the way he had acted towards her. Kissing Minerva was a huge mistake, he knew that it was. Yet he could not feel any regret over it, in fact the memory of it actually gave him some pleasure. Pleasure he should not have had, pleasure he did not deserve to have. Especially not now. When Lily had been hiding he had been out gallivanting at a ball.
There were so many reasons why this was wrong that he could list. He loved Lily, he had loved her since childhood. That was why he had never been able to truly involve himself with another woman. Why he had not been able to progress farther in his relationship with Cassandra. He had rarely ever kissed her, in the times they had kissed it had been nothing like the kiss he had shared with Minerva. Never before had he ever felt anything like that.
Minerva was pure and good. She had fought against the Dark Lord from the very beginning and had always stood up for those who could not stand for themselves. Severus was an ex-Death Eater, guilty of many things, with at least two innocent lives on his hands. She deserved far better. He could not even imagine what she must think of him, and what she must have thought of him taking liberties like that with her. He had not been himself at the time, normally he would never have done something so impetuous.
Then there was the matter of Cassandra. They had not spoken in weeks, the last he had heard from her she had sent him an owl in which she all but dissolved their relationship. He was not even certain what was left of that at this point. It had been rather unfair of him not to mention the oath to her. She should have been the first person he told. That would have been the logical thing to do, yet he had no desire to tell her at the time. Yet he had been an utter louse to her. Effectively he had cheated on her. Cassandra did not deserve that, Minerva did not deserve to be involved in something like that.
He had allowed that distraction to occupy his mind far too often. The day of Lily's death he was unable to get Minerva off of his mind. Perhaps if he had been more alert, more vigilant he would have been able to find out what was going. Perhaps he would have heard of what was to happen to the Potters. Maybe he could have found a way to put a stop to the plot and prevent her death. Instead he had been preoccupied with thoughts of Minerva.
Now that he was almost to the Headmaster's office he was certain that he had made it home clear. There was no way that she was anywhere near here. The gargoyle that guarded the office was not more than fifty yards away. Severus picked up his pace, just a few more steps. He was so focused on his destination that he did not realize someone else was coming from the other direction until he quite literally ran into her.
Books and parchment flew everywhere and both parties were knocked to the ground. Shaken from the incident Severus quickly collected himself and began picking up books and gathering papers all the while muttering apologies. How had he been so careless, now he had managed to mess something else up. This would never had happened if he had been able to stay in his rooms and keep to himself. There was no need to unleash his presence on the school and the unsuspecting members of the staff.
Once he had gathered everything together he finally looked to see who exactly it was he had so gracefully plowed down in his haste. It was Aurora Sinistra, the astronomy professor. She did look quite shaken up and out of sorts as she was still on the ground. There was a far off look in her eyes, but this was not altogether unusual as she often would stare off into space. After all she did teach astronomy. In all of the commotion an inkwell must have been broken. There were several dark black spots on her once pristine white robes.
"I am terribly sorry." Severus said setting down his pile of books and offering her a hand to help her up. "I did not see you coming.
"It is quite alright." Aurora replied gratefully taking his proffered hand. "I am often lost in thought myself."
"Please allow me to take care of the ink mess on your robes." Severus said taking out his want. With a flick of his wrist he cast a quick scourgify charm and all of the ink was gone.
" I did not know that you used nonverbal spells Severus." she said with admiration. "So effectively too. I do believe that i have never seen these robes quite so clean before."
"Oh, it was nothing." Severus said rubbing the back of his head, suddenly self-conscious. It was not common to practice nonverbal magic, but in his lot it was often the safest, most convenient form of magic to use.
"Well I am extremely grateful, and I should say, much indebted to you." Aurora said. "Please allow me to repay you in some way."
"That is not at all necessary." Severus replied picking up her stack of books and parchment. "It was my fault you ended up in this predicament to begin with. I should have been paying better attention."
"No, no that's alright. It was my fault." Aurora said. "Me and my clumsiness. Now there must be some way that I can repay your kindness."
"No repayment necessary." Severus said again holding up his hands.
"Then how about this, perhaps we could sit down and have a chat later. I would like to properly thank you for all of your help." Aurora said sweetly.
Severus was not quite sure what to say. "That would be nice." he replied finally. "If you will excuse me now I am running late to see the Headmaster."
"In that case I will not keep you any longer then." Aurora said. Then to Severus' surprise she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you again." she said before walking off.
Severus was left in shock. What exactly had just happened?His thoughts were then interrupted by the arrival of another witch. This time it was the one he had been trying so hard to avoid. Quickly he started to walk towards the Headmaster's office, maybe she would not stop to say anything to him. He was so close, nearly there. Alas it was too late though, she had managed to intercept him right before he could speak the password.
"Severus." she said brusquely. "I have not seen you in days. Is everything alright?"
Was he imagining things, or did she seem somewhat agitated? While she did seem to be concerned something was clearly bothering her.
"I've been rather busy Minerva, that is all." Severus said without quite meeting her eyes. "I am sure that everyone has been quite busy considering what has happened in our world."
"Well yes." Minerva replied. "However most of us have not spent this time avoiding all contact with our fellow human beings. I thought you would have spent more time joining the rest of us in the celebrations."
"I …. Like to keep a low profile." he replied looking away.
"You do not have to do that anymore." Minerva said in earnest. "You are free now. You have your whole life ahead of you and you can be free to live it as you choose."
She walked over to him and clasped his hands in hers. She was warm to the touch. His heart jumped a bit at the sudden contact. At the same time he felt a very strong surge of guilt wash over him. The way he had acted was shameful.
"Unfortunately I am not free now." Severus said, conscious of the fact that Minerva was still grasping his hands. "According to the Ministry of Magic I am still a wanted man."
"I did not know that." Minerva said softly. "They cannot know what they are talking about. You are not that sort of person."
"They have very right to believe what they do about me. After all several Death Eaters have testified that I was a member of their ranks."
"That is utterly ridiculous." Minerva said fuming. "There must be something that you can do about this."
"Actually I was on my way to meet with the Headmaster now." Severus said, gently removing his hands from Minerva's grasp. "I am running a bit late."
"I'll go with you." Minerva said. "I was summoned to his office just a few minutes ago."
With that the two of them made their way to the Headmaster's office. The silence on the short walk was deafening. Severus made sure to keep his distance. Inside the stairwell the the Headmaster's office this became more difficult. It was rather a cramped space to begin with. One not meant to have more than one person at a time in it. Minerva's scent was almost overpowering in such a confined space, it was all he could do to resist her as they waited for the Headmaster to allow them to enter his office.
"Welcome Severus, Minerva." The Headmaster said gravely as they walked into his office. "I am pleased that you have made it."
"Thank you Headmaster." Severus said keeping his head down. The last time he had been here had been the day the Headmaster informed him of Lily's demise. What a dreadful day that had been.
"I trust that you are prepared for today Severus?" The Headmaster asked.
"As prepared as one can be Headmaster."
"I am glad to hear it. I trust that you know the procedures?" The Headmaster said. "You will not be granted the most pleasant treatment today. My influence can only extend so far in these matters."
"Yes." Severus replied with a curt nod. "You have been most generous with me as it is."
"Excuse me for intruding Albus, but for what is Severus preparing?" Minerva asked
"I am terribly sorry that I did not explain sooner." Albus said. "This is a matter of utmost confidentiality you understand, it was imperative that you not know the details until now.
"I understand implicitly Albus, you can trust me." Minerva said.
"I am glad that I can rely on you Minerva." The Headmaster said with a brief smile. "We will be traveling to the Ministry of Magic today for Severus to stand trial before the Wizengamot for his past affiliations. I am asking that you come with us to stand as character witness for him. That is should you agree to do so."
"Of course." Minerva answered immediately. "I am more than happy to do that."
Severus was surprised that Minerva would be joining them today. Of course he was grateful to have another person speak on his behalf, that was certain. Yet the thought of her bearing witness to his trial was not a pleasant one. If things had gone his way he would have preferred that she be kept out of the whole matter entirely.
What did it matter now though? He might very well be staring down life in Azkaban right now. By this evening everyone would know. He was not a fool. he Daily Prophet would be all over this trial at their first opportunity. How could they possibly turn down the story of a Hogwarts professor standing trial for crimes against the wizarding world? It would be a veritable field day for them.
"Thank you Minerva." Severus finally said. "I appreciate your willingness to do this for me. "
"It is not a problem at all Severus." she replied. "I am happy to be of assistance, especially in such a worthy cause."
"Good." Albus said. "Now we must be on our way. Timelines and punctuality are extremely important at the Ministry. At least for this sort of situation. Now if each of you could grab my arms we will side-along apparate. No, on second thought we will use the Floo-network. It is best that we not draw too much attention to ourselves. Ladies first Minerva."
A few minutes later they had arrived at the Ministry. Witches and Wizards were milling about, running back and forth busily going about their daily activities. Nobody seemed to pay too much notice to their arrival. People were constantly coming and going here. For this Severus was quite relieved.
He followed Albus and Minerva down the halls and down several flights of stairs until they reached a floor that had to have been several stories below ground. Following a veritable maze of corridors they finally reached a door. Professor Dumbledore abruptly stopped and rapped on the door three times. Almost immediately the door opened and they were ushered inside of a small room that was brightly illuminated.
Nearly as quickly as they had found their way in Severus found that someone was already binding his wrists and removing his wand from his sleeve. This was the sort of treatment he had been expecting. This was protocol and he knew it, however knowing about this did not do anything to lessen the complete and utter feelings of helplessness he had without his wand. This treatment was degrading to say the least. Wandless and bound he felt completely vulnerable. He was exposed to myriad threats. There were stories of accused witches and wizards being killed by spectators on their way to trial. Now more than ever did he have to place his trust in the Headmaster.
"What on earth is going on?" Minerva asked aghast. "What are you doing to him?"
"This man is on trial for crimes against our people. He is a criminal." The wizard in the room replied. "We need to make ensure the safety of everyone involved in these proceedings. He is an imminent threat."
"Are you mad?" she asked cooly. "You are completely disarming him, and binding his hands. Do you not care about his safety? What about his rights?"
"As far as we are concerned this man is a threat to everyone in this building. He has no rights. The crimes that he committed against our people made certain of that." The wizard replied gruffly tightening the bonds that held Severus' wrists even more.
"Albus, you know that Severus is not a threat. You have always told me that a person is innocent until they are proven guilty. Surely you can do something about this? The treatment he is receiving is unjust and barbaric." Minerva pleaded with the Headmaster.
Severus turned his head to look away. Minerva should not be fighting this battle for him. He knew what he was accused of and why the Ministry was doing what they did. If anything he should be fighting it, but what good would that do any of them?
"I am afraid, Minerva, that my hands are tied." The Headmaster replied. "This is Ministry protocol and there is nothing that we can say or do about it. The best thing that we can do for Severus is to cooperate right now. As trying as you might find these circumstances to be."
Minerva tried to interject again, but Albus silenced her with a look. Severus was glad that she was so eager to help him, but at the same time we wished that she would not have to bear witness to this treatment. Right now he was completely defenseless for all intents and purposes. If he was found guilty his wand would be snapped and he would be completely out of luck.
"Come with me please Snape." The Ministry official said gruffly, yanking on his bound arms.
"At least show him the respect he is due with his position" Minerva said frustratedly. "It is Professor Snape."
The official only grunted in reply as he proceeded to drag Severus through a door at the other side of the room. They followed several more winding corridors in the subterranean darkness. Even in comparison to the dungeons at Hogwarts these passages were cold and gloomy. They were lit by torches at irregular intervals down the halls, casting eerie shadows as they past. This part of the building was certainly older than the Ministry itself. It was specifically designed so that any prisoner who might have somehow managed to escape their captor would not be able to find their way out. The enchantments were so strong they almost hummed in the silence.
Finally he was thrust through a door and into an open gallery. The light while not terribly bright was almost blinding after the corridors he had been traveling through previously. A great many people sat in the chamber looking down at them. Many of them had looks of contempt clearly plastered to their faces. For this he could not blame them. Death Eaters were horrible people who had done horrible things. He had been one of those people. The indelible mark on his arm served as proof of his past sins.
The Ministry officials who had led him in was now joined by two others. Each one had their wands out and aimed straight towards him. They led him towards a chair and forced him into a sitting position. The moment he sat down he was magically bound to the chair. He could not move his arms or legs and the bindings burned searing hot. Evidently they were trying to make him feel as welcome as possible.
Once the Ministry officials were assured of his inability to move they backed away into their respective corners of he room. The three of them remained on guard, wands poised at the ready. This entire situation was humiliating, although he did not doubt that he deserved this treatment. Hopefully though, it would soon be over and he would be free to live his life again.
He did not have long to wait before the trial began. In just a few minutes Barty Crouch Sr. brought the room to order. If everybody had not already been staring at him they were most certainly doing so now. Faces of people he knew and people he knew of looked down at him from the seats above. Some of these people had been at Hogwarts with him. It was the best he could do to try and maintain his firm resolve and maintain eye contact. He could not afford to show signs of weakness.
"The trial of Severus Snape will now begin." Crouch said with a hammer of his gavel. "We will be trying Mr. Severus Snape, potions master at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on the the charge of being a Death Eater, and of assisting in the cause of He Who Must Not Be Named."
The entire rowing silent at this. It was still a very recent and painful memory for everyone involved. Severus could not blame anyone for the fears they still held in their hears.
"Mr. Snape." Barty Crouch began addressing him. "Are you, or are you not a follower of the Dark Lord, a so called "Death Eater.""
" I am not a Death Eater." Severus replied calmly.
"Are you denying these charges then?" Crouch asked his voiced raised. "Are you saying that if we were to look at your left forearm that we would not find the Dark Mark ingrained there?"
Two of the wizards standing guard prepared to come forward. Severus did not wish to be grabbed by either of them. As if sensing his thoughts the bindings holding him to the chair tightened and his skin burned.
"I do not deny that." Severus said. "If you would like I would show you the mark myself."
There was a collective gasp from the crowd. "What is the meaning of this? You deny being a Death Eater, yet you posses the mark and are willing to show it to us? I do not know what it is that you think you are going to do, but I can assure you that you cannot get away with anything here. Please explain yourself."
"Formerly, I was a member of this organization." Severus said clearly. "I no longer consider myself to be one of them, and I have not for quite some time."
Several people in the audience began to murmur to one another. Someone loudly called him a liar and a traitor. There were a few moments of this before Crouch called them to order again.
"Mr. Snape, would you care to explain this to us? If you will forgive my saying so it is rather difficult to believe that someone would suddenly have a change of heart over a matter such as this." Crouch said. "Did you just wake up one day, and decide that you were suddenly changing sides, or did you realize that there might be impending complications depending on the outcome of this war and you wanted to make sure that you ended up on the right side of things?"
"The situation is rather more complex than you would make it out to be." Severus replied. "When I had first joined the organization I was not completely aware of the scope and the range of activities it covered. The longer I stayed a member the more I began to realize what it was, and who I was. I knew that I did not want to be a part of it any longer. There were several factors that influenced my decision to leave the organization. When I finally saw a chance for escape from their ranks I contacted Professor Dumbledore. There would be no other way out, and I was not interested in the alternative."
"This sort of argument does not stand up well in court." Crouch said. "It also seems highly improbable. What evidence can you offer us?"
In answer to this Professor Dumbledore and Minerva stood up and made their way to the floor. Minerva made eye contact on the way down and Severus suddenly felt some of his strength return. Her steely resolve and determination gave him a renewed energy. She smiled at him slightly and it was enough to brighten his mood just a little.
Once the Headmaster had made his way to the floor all of the attention in the room turned to him. Dumbledore was one of the most highly respected people in their world. "Over the course of the past year or so Severus has been working for me." The Headmaster said authoritatively. "At great personal risk he became a turncoat and served as a spy for our side. He was able to provide information that was invaluable to our cause. On a daily basis he put his life at risk to help ensure the safety and future of our world. I will vouch for this man."
"That is a very weighty claim indeed." Crouch said. "You are saying that this man turned a spy for our side?"
"That is exactly what I am saying." The Headmaster replied sternly. "He has done more to aid in this war effort than many people working for the Ministry have."
"Professor McGonagall. Would you be willing to speak on behalf of this man?"
"Of course." she said. "This is a man who has risked so much for all of us so that we could live without fear and terror. We have worked together on missions and he has saved me from grave danger on at least two occasions. As a colleague he is an excellent addition to our staff and he has made several improvements."
"If we are to let this man go, what could he offer to society. What would he do, where would he go?" Crouch asked.
"He would continue to work for me of course." The Headmaster said matter of factly.
"There is no more use for spies anymore Dumbledore." Crouch said warily.
"As a member of my staff at Hogwarts." The Headmaster replied.
"Surely you do not mean that he would continue to teach at your school." Crouch said incredulously.
"I would not expect anything less." he replied. "I see no reason that I should lose an excellent potions instructor."
"Severus truly is a very valued member of our staff at Hogwarts." Minerva interjected. "Ever sine he has been at the school he has developed a reputation as an excellent teacher. Already our students are showing great progress in their potion making skills. We are quite fortunate to have such a gifted instructor."
To say the least Severus was shocked at this admission. He had never considered that his teaching was of much value at the school. To him it had always seemed that his primary job and purpose there was to spy for the Headmaster. Even he had made it clear that Severus' position as a professor came second to his other responsibilities.
"Is this true Professor Dumbledore?" One of the Ministry officials asked. "Has this man really contributed to the school?"
Professor Dumbledore did not hesitate to answer. "Absolutely. Since Professor Snape has arrived our students have improved immensely. He holds them to an extremely high standard." he said quite seriously. "As I am sure you are all aware Professor Snape is extremely adept at potion making. In fact he is one of the youngest people on record to have tested for and achieved the rank of potions master. "
There were was quiet discussion amongst the crowd. Perhaps they believed that he could be of use somewhere. Maybe they could be convinced to allow him to live freely.
"Indeed we are aware of his certain gifts. We have also been informed that this was one trait that made him extremely valuable to He Who Must Not Be Named." Another official said. "You can excuse us for not finding this information in his favor. Can you give us any type of concrete proof that we should trust him and not send him to Azkaban?"
"His reasons for changing sides are more than adequate." Professor Dumbledore said strongly.
"May we hear these reason?" The official asked.
"I am sorry, but that information is between Severus and myself." he Headmaster said.
"If this is the case, why should we trust him?: Barty Crouch asked.
"I trust him with my life." Dumbledore said. "Further I have no reason to believe that he could ever be persuaded to rejoin the other side."
"That is certainly something. You are willing to stand for this man then?" Crouch asked curiously.
"Absolutely.: Dumbledore replied.
"What about you Professor McGonagall?" Crouch asked. "Would you stand behind this man"
"I would." Minerva answered almost instantaneously. "If Albus trusts him, I trust him. Further as a friend and colleague of his I can vouch for his character. Severus is a good man."
"Very well." Crouch said. "He will have to be questioned further today of course, but what you have said will be taken into account. You two are free to go now."
"Thank you, but we will stay for the duration of this hearing." The Headmaster said with finality. Nobody here was willing to go against Dumbledore.
Severus felt a sense of relief wash over him. He was not looking forward to the questioning, but it would be easier to handle with some familiar faces around. It would be terribly unpleasant, he knew this, but it would be more bearable. He took a deep breath, and before he knew it, the interrogation began.
By the time they had returned to Hogwarts it was rather late at night. The trial had gone on much longer than any of them had anticipated it would. The questioning was grueling and Severus still had marks on his wrists from where they had been bound. He hoped that he would never again be subjected to such an experience, but he knew that there were far worse things that could have befallen him.
"Headmaster, Minerva." Severus said once they had reached the entrance hall. "I do not know how to thank you for all that you did today."
"It was no trouble at all Severus." The Headmaster replied solemnly. "You are a member of my staff and I will do all that I can to make sure that you are in good hands. Officially, now more than ever before, you are one of us."
"I am so happy to have been able to help you Severus." Minerva replied emphatically. "I am even happier that you will be continuing on here as a professor."
"I do not really know what to say." Severus said. "I am grateful to have the opportunity to work here. I am only sorry about the publicity this trial will get, and what that will mean for the school."
"Oh, I do not think you will have to worry about that." The Headmaster said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Whatever do you mean?" Severus asked curiously. "I have seen so many of these trials in the papers. Everyone of them has been plastered on the front page of the Prophet. How could I hope to escape that same fate?"
"Let us just say that I can be a rather persuasive individual and leave it at that." Dumbledore said. "Good night, Severus, Minerva." With that he walked off in the direction of his office.
"Severus." Minerva began. "I am so thankful for the outcome of this trial. I cannot imagine teaching at this school without you. I value your friendship immensely."
"Thank you Minerva." Severus said. "You do not know just how much that means to me. I feel the same way."
"I would very much like to continue our chess games." Minerva said. "If you would like."
"It would be my pleasure, Minerva. I have missed that. However I do not think I am quite ready for that yet. I still need some time to myself for awhile. So that I might adjust and recover."
"Oh, I understand." Minerva said, disappointment evident in her eyes.
"It will not be too long, I promise you." he said. "I just have some thinking to do. As soon as I feel up to it again I will let you know."
She smiled up at him. "Is that a promise?"
"On my honor." he said.
"Good, I will hold you to it." she replied. "Goodnight Severus."
"Goodnight Minerva."
The two of them parted ways, she went upstairs and he went downstairs. As he stood outside of the entrance to his rooms it was for the first time as a free man.