Chapter,
Arizona stood watching her daughter run to her with the maggot, her mind flashing back automatically to the last time she had seen one, crawling out of her open wound as she watched her leg rot. She tried to focus on her breathing, on not freaking her daughter out. She could hear mumbling, words disjointed as she tried to focus on breathing, suddenly nausea built up, she was going to vomit. Aware Callie had Sofia, and would look after Sofia, Arizona darted away just fitting her key into the disabled toilet in time to vomit in the bowl, before stopping to gasp as the pain in her thigh overtook her, causing her to collapse to the floor.
The bugs, they were here, they were back, she could feel them, in her leg, wiggling, hatching, breeding, eating her alive. The pain in her leg was bad, burning, white hot pain, shooting down her leg, worse than it had ever been, it was the bugs! She needed to kill them, she needed them off her, reaching in her pocket she found the sharpest thing she had on her driving it into her leg again and again. The smell of engine fuel, screaming, death, rotting flesh, animals howling, fighting, Lexie, the bugs! Mark. She couldn't breathe, the smoke, she couldn't breathe, she was going to die, this had to be what dying felt like, the bugs didn't stop, they were crawling all over her leg now, higher, and higher, the stabbing pain wasn't easing, it was getting worse, everything was getting worse.
"Arizona" someone was calling her, from far away, Arizona tried to speak, but couldn't instead letting out a pained whimper, hands were on her hands stilling them, stopping her from killing them.
"The bugs" she managed to whimper, "I have to kill them, there is so many, they are everywhere, they're eating me,". She muttered trying to escape the grip, she needed to get the bugs off, couldn't they see that, the hands didn't move, stubbornly holding on,
"Please" Arizona begged, "Please, they're eating me, Cristina, please, come back, don't leave".
"Arizona, you are safe, it's okay, you are okay, there are no bugs" the voice said, their hands not moving from hers, suddenly there was a shift, a warm body next to hers, a smell other than rotting flesh and burning oil, safety it smelt like safety.
Ragged breaths, as her hands stopped fighting, her eyes focusing on the grey and white, this wasn't the woods, Cristina wasn't here, neither was Mark, instead was Callie, Callie was safe, Callie hadn't been in the crash, so why was Callie here?
"Hey" Callie greeted wiping her face with a piece of tissue, sensing her wife was coming back, Arizona said nothing instead leaning in inhaling her scent, clinging to Callie like her life depended on it, "that was some flashback" Callie commented worriedly, "is this your first?" she asked, surely this had to be, she hadn't missed an episode like this before, had she?
Arizona shrugged, she'd had episodes before every night, this was the worst, never had she felt the maggots eat her so vividly, well not since they had, her whole body ached, her hands shaking, she felt exhausted,
"Arizona?" Callie pressed, "talk to me please?" she begged fearfully, although Arizona was here with her, it still felt like they were miles apart.
"Maggots, Cristina kept picking them from my leg, ants too, they were breeding in there, I could see them on my bone, in my leg, the eggs, the movement" Arizona recited, falling away from her body, her voice monotone, "they gave me the last of the water, we were so thirsty, the others drinking their own pee, engine oil, whatever was wet. We were so thirsty our mouths hurt" She revealed, "Mark kept dying, Cristina, kept dragging him back, I begged him to not die, I begged him, told him to think of Sofia and you, said we were a family. I tried, so hard to get him to fight, honest I tried," Arizona cried still feeling like she had failed, Callie hugged her tightly,
"I know, you tried he tried so hard, he wanted to be with Lexie," she soothed, rocking her wife, trying to offer her all the comfort she could,
"At night, we couldn't sleep, it was so cold, we couldn't start a fire, and it was raining, there was thunder and lightning and then the animals" Arizona shivered, remembering the freezing temperatures, "we could hear them, fighting, howling, growling, it took us a few hours to work out what they were fighting over…" Arizona trailed off, Callie squeezed her hand in support, "Lexie, they were fighting over Lexie" she whispered, Callie's mouth dropped open in horror. "I knew I was next; they might not be growling and ripping me like Lexie but they were already eating me alive; I could feel them biting, chewing, I could see each day my flesh disappearing, all I could think about was you and Sofia, I had to get home to you and Sofia," Arizona recalled, numbly, it was clear from her tone she was starting to drift back into the flashback.
"You made it baby, you're here with us" Callie reassured, "You came home".
"I still feel like I'm there stuck," Arizona confessed, "When I wake up, when I close my eyes, I'm there" Callie stroked her hand, offering support, "And I know you are going to leave me, everyone leaves me, but I don't want you to go" She begged.
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm here" Callie promised, "I'm here and I am not leaving, ever" she swore,
"That's what everyone says, Tim, Nick, Mark, soon you'll realize I'm not worth it, that I'm nothing, and I can't, I can't do this without you" Arizona sobbed, feeling selfish asking her wife of so much, Callie deserved everything, she deserved a wife that could run, and dance, and wasn't a mess. A wife that could spend an afternoon in the park without breaking down. She was weak.
"No, you aren't nothing, you are everything to me," Callie swore fiercely, "If anyone says you are nothing, I'll beat them up" she promised, frowning as Arizona snorted, "Who, tell me who?" Callie demanded, wondering how she had missed this, and wondering what else didn't she know about her wife.
Hope you liked it, i think i have one more chapter to write.