Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

-To Sip of Black Velvet-

Chapter 13: Never Look Back

"Hi, I'm here to see Mr. Taisho." I told the receptionist at Tetsusaiga Industries."Let him know it's Kagome Higurashi and that it's important."

I had never once been to Sesshoumaru's work but I figured it was a good place to actually talk to him. He was bound to be very business-like here and I needed to make sure I wouldn't get sucked back into our deceitful romance.

"Mr. Taisho will see you now." The receptionist called out to me. "He's located in the office down the hall and to the left."

"Thank you." I replied, giving her a wary smile.

It had taken me a few days to work up enough courage for what I was about to do. I knew that this would end horribly. I'd be broken hearted and distressed but I knew it was the right thing to do. I couldn't be Sesshoumaru's mistress anymore.

I knocked on the door and from inside someone yelled come in.

"How can I help you?" A handsome man with amber eyes and silver hair asked as I walked into the room. His features were so similar, I thought to myself before noticing the small puppy like ears that were alerted to take in my answer. This was not Sesshoumaru.

"Oh… I'm sorry." I stated. "The receptionist told me that this was Mr. Taisho's office. I didn't mean to barge in on you."

"I see." The man replied. "You must be looking for Sesshoumaru Taisho." I nodded my head.

"I'm Inuyasha Taisho, the vice president of Tetsusaiga Industries." He smirked at me as he walked over to shake my hand. "Sesshoumaru is my half-brother."

I shook his hand and gave his eyes a second glance before adding, "I'm Kagome Higurashi."

"Does Sesshoumaru know that you're coming?" Inuyasha asked me.

"Oh… um not really, I didn't make an appointment or anything." I answered feeling somewhat embarrassed.

He laughed.

"That's probably why the receptionist sent you to me without asking." He said. "No one ever just drops in to meet with Sesshoumaru." He paused. "I'll walk you over so he won't turn you away for not making an appointment, the receptionist said this was important right?"

"Yes it is." I answered. "And thank you."

Inuyasha led the way to Sesshoumaru's office. The receptionist should have sent me down the hall and to the right, I realized. When we stopped outside of large cherry wood doors, Inuyasha knocked on them.

"Yes?" I heard Sesshoumaru's baritone call out from inside. My palms started to sweat immediately.

"It's Inuyasha and I have a Ms. Kagome Higurashi here to see you." Inuyasha answered back.

Sesshoumaru told him to send me in and I entered. Inuyasha closed the door behind me.

"What are you doing here Kagome?" Sesshoumaru asked as I walked to sit down in one of the chairs on the opposite side of his desk. "Is something wrong?"

"Yes Sesshoumaru" I began, there was no turning back now. "There is something wrong."

He nodded at me to continue.

"I can't do this anymore." I replied back simply.

"You can't do what exactly, Kagome?" He asked, his voice was too calm.

"I can't do us anymore Sesshoumaru. This is wrong. You're married." I let all the words slip from my mouth without a thought.

He was quiet.

"Marriage does not matter to me. I—" He started but I decided to cut him off.

"I saw your wife the other day Sesshoumaru." I stated. "I saw her and we spoke…"

"Why would you do something like that?" He asked raising his voice, as he stood up.

"It was on accident!" I yelled. "I didn't even know it was your wife to begin with! We just ended up talking… she bought me a dress actually." My voice started to fade away. "…she was nice."

He didn't say anything for a few seconds and then he replied back, "Kagura is not… nice."

"Well she was nice enough to me." I answered back sharply before continuing with what I needed to say. "You know that I love you but this is becoming too much for me. It's killing me… you're killing me Sesshoumaru. Don't you get that?" I stopped to collect my thoughts, "I—I don't even know who I am anymore and maybe I never knew who I was before you but at least I knew that I wasn't just some guy's whore."

"You are not a wh—"He started but I couldn't let him finish. I couldn't let him place anymore false thoughts into my head, I had done enough of that on my own.

"Don't you dare say that to me." I said and I couldn't tell if the momentary slip in his controlled facade was from the seriousness in my tone or the worn out look that was surely plastered on my face. "Just because you don't mean to make me into one doesn't mean that I'm not one. What else would you call someone in my position?"

He looked at me as though he wished to say something, wished to argue, but then his anger dissipated and he resigned himself to silence. I thought that I might go deaf from how loud the meaning behind that silence was shouted at me. We both knew exactly what I was.

"It doesn't matter…" I quickly said, my voice growing weak," I let myself become this… I should have been more careful before I fell in love with you." I paused to work up the nerve to finish what I'd rehearsed saying for the past few days.

"I need you to leave me alone for good. Don't call me, don't show up at my job, just disappear because I'm not strong enough to stay away from you on my own and it's not fair to me that I can't help wanting you. Do you understand that Sesshoumaru?" I asked as tears slipped their way down my cheeks. "If you really want to be with me you're going to have to take the steps. Get a divorce. It's simple. I'm not going to sneak around behind your wife's back anymore."

"Do you want to know why I am with my wife?" Sesshoumaru asked in a firm tone glaring at me.

I nodded. I had wanted to know that from the beginning.

"I was forced to in order to receive my birth right." Sesshoumaru stated."These lands, this company that owns nearly everything in the city, would have been given to my half-brother on my father's orders. The same brother who always obtained everything that should have been mine." He continued.

"I was supposed to find a mate. But I negotiated to marrying Kagura and allowing my half-brother to be vice president."He explained. "You cannot take back mating but marriage meant nothing to me. It was merely a loop hole."

"Why Kagura?" I couldn't help asking.

"She was powerful. It was an obvious choice." Sesshoumaru answered noncommittally. "I would not lower myself to be bound to someone weak."

"Okay… but why can't you get divorced?" I asked. "You have the company already. It's yours and you told me your father died."

He didn't answer me.

I waited for a while before I got up, intending to leave.

"I have—" He started before turning away from me. "I have a daughter."

"What?" I asked lividly. "I thought you just said you only married Kagura as a loophole! You have a daughter with her?"

"No." Sesshoumaru curtly replied. "She is an adopted human girl, merely 8 years old. Kagura is not the mother."

"Okay… well what's that have to do with you not getting a divorce Sesshoumaru?" I asked, lowering my eyes. I could not stand to look at him.

"I may have married Kagura as a loophole—" Sesshoumaru thought over his words carefully. "But she has grown attached to me… she does not care about Rin, but she would take her in a divorce to spite me."

"You don't know that Sesshoumaru." I replied back.

"I'm a business man. I have to leave the country all the time. I'm hardly ever home." Sesshoumaru replied. "Kagura would get half of everything I own and she would be fully capable of being a full time parent. I know how the justice system works Kagome."

He was right. Although I wished he wasn't. Kagura would probably get custody of their daughter. I felt sorry for him.

"So why did you lead me on knowing all of that?" I asked gently. "Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

He remained facing away from me as he spoke.

"I love you." He said as gently as his naturally cold tone allowed. "I wish to mate you but it would have to wait until Rin is grown. That is ten years and I assumed that if you had known that from the beginning you would not want to wait."

I thought hard for a moment. He had never once said he loved me or that he'd wanted to mate me. It was all too shocking and it was… everything that I had ever wanted to hear. I loved him so much… but he was right. It had been only a little over 10 months since the affair had started and I was suffering. I couldn't take only having a part of him and even if Kagura was spiteful, it still didn't make going behind her back any less wrong. And what about his daughter?

"You assumed right Sesshoumaru…" I said quietly as my heart began breaking. "I cannot wait for ten years. I can't just keep meeting you in hotels and pretending to be with you during the nights. I can't watch you turn your back to me to go home to your wife, to your family. It's not fair to me and it's definitely not fair to your little girl… I don't even think I could survive the ten years it would take to finally have you. I'm sorry Sesshoumaru but I'm done."

As I began slowly walking towards the door and away from my dreams, he grabbed me by my wrist. I didn't even know how he'd gotten so close to me so fast.

"Are you sure this is what you truly want?" He asked me as his golden eyes bore into mine the way that I loved.

"Yes, I'm sure Sesshoumaru." I managed to answer, sounding far more certain than I actually felt.

He placed a beautiful bracelet on my wrist. It was silver and gold and had a crescent moon pendant.

"It belonged to my mother." He told me as he let one clawed finger run over the crescent.

"You will always be my mate." He stated firmly, in the Sesshoumaru way that said there was nothing anyone could do to change that. I nodded slightly.

He then abruptly turned away from me and began walking back towards his desk. "I will not call you or come to your job anymore. I will not try to change your mind." He stated coldly. "You have my word Kagome."

"Thank you." I whispered lowly as I slipped out of the door.

I could not bear to look back.

Word Count: 1863

Author's Note: You guys have no idea how happy I am to have finally gotten this chapter done! I was kind of blanking on where I wanted to go with this story but now I think I have it figured out to the very end. YES!

-E.C.