Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or its characters. They are the sole property of Takahashi Rumiko.

-To Sip of Black Velvet-

Chapter 14: Help

I refused to do anything for quite some time. I merely laid down in my bed or on my couch eyeing the bracelet that I couldn't stand to take off. I wanted to. A part of me wished to throw it away and never see it again. It was only causing me anguish, staring at it and remembering the soft baritone of his voice as he told me that he loved me and that he wanted me. 'He loved me'. I couldn't get it out of my head. He wanted to mate me… wants to mate me, I reminded myself as I gazed down at the bracelet again. My heart ached and I felt hollow knowing that he was out there feeling for me and I for him but that we could do nothing about it, nothing that I was willing to do anymore. I almost hated him for telling me, when he knew that I couldn't continue loving him from behind closed doors. Loving him from within the dark cold shadows of his real life, shadows in which he'd leave me alone to return to his wife, his family.

I would not continue our affair. I was strong in that resolve. I knew that with his family was where he belonged. He had made his commitment even if his marriage had only been a means to an end and even if he only stayed with his wife for the fear of losing his daughter. I knew exactly where he belonged and that it wasn't with me, but that didn't mean that it hurt any less.

And it hurt. It hurt so much that I thought I might die at first. I knew that the thought was erroneous. I knew that I wouldn't physically die but I couldn't breath and I had cried so much that I had nothing left. If the pain wouldn't go away soon I knew that I'd die on the inside. It wasn't until I'd gotten a knock on my apartment door that I had made any attempt to do anything besides the necessities to sustain my life. My days had been wake up, eat, sleep (repeat). My apartment was a mess of pizza delivery boxes and leftover Chinese takeout amongst other things. I felt no need to clean my apartment when I myself was such a mess. I thought that the chaos and disarray that I saw around me complimented nicely with how I felt on the inside. All I had wanted was to wallow in my on shame, in my own foolishness, in my own self-pity but someone would not quit knocking on my door!

"I'm coming." I groaned as I lifted myself off of my couch. I felt weighed down with grief.

The knocking grew louder.

"I said I'm coming!" I yelled out as I hurried to the door as fast as my despairing body could go. I fumbled with the locks, my fingers were as lethargic as the rest of me.

"You look like shit." Sango replied, looking me up and down. She brushed passed me and entered my apartment without an invitation.

"Sure you can come in." I whispered out as I shut the door to follow her into my living room.

She pushed a bunch of trash off my coffee table and on to the floor before sitting down on my couch and plopping her legs up on the table.

"Miroku hasn't fired you yet." She told me as if I'd asked, as if I'd cared.

"That's nice." I responded dropping lightly down on the other end of the couch.

"I asked him not to." Sango explained. "I told him that you were going through some family stuff and that's why you haven't been showing up to work for the past few weeks or picking up the phone or even trying to call the person who supposed to be your best friend."

"Sango… I didn't even know we were best friends…" I answered honestly.

"Do you have any other friends?" She asked me.

"No… not really." I admitted. All the friends I had had in the past I'd lost touch with when they'd went off to University.

"Well if I'm your only one, then that would make me your best by default right?" She smiled triumphantly.

I even smiled a little bit.

"Okay so now that we've got that settled," She continued as she got up and started picking up some of the trash that littered the floor, "we're going to get this place cleaned up and then we'll get started on getting you cleaned up too."

She gave me a knowing look and I felt like she somehow knew everything that had happened, everything that I was going through. The thought crossed my mind that maybe she had seen the ring on his hand that first night in the bar when I hadn't, she had been serving him I remembered. Maybe she had been aware of our secret teasing when he'd visit me at Kaichou, and maybe she knew that I had become his mistress just to have everything blow up in my face. She looked at me with those wide brown knowing eyes and she was concerned for me. Nothing in her gaze even hinted that she was judging me for my actions. She actually cared about what 'the other woman' was going through even though I was even ashamed of myself. She cared and maybe knowing that made me hurt just a little less.

We cleaned up my apartment and then slowly but surely with her help, I began cleaning up the disorder of my life as well.

Word Count: 941