New Chapter is up!
Like I said in the prior chapter, there is no bashing of characters, and I desire to maintain them as best I can based on the actual show (which I do not own). This chapter has mentions of death and murder, so just a heads up for readers.
I don't have much to say, so we'll just jump right into it!
Chapter 7: Legal Theft (Tax Day)
Today was the day.
The day that each imp, sinner, baphomet, succubus, and every demon in between dreaded. A trial that was inevitable. No matter the Ring of Hell, no matter how rich or poor, no matter how well connected; A day that could not be avoided.
A day that rivaled Extermination Day in terms of the panic and anguish that came from it, especially those ill prepared for it. All throughout the Seven Rings, demons ran about, finishing their paperwork, collecting money and favors. Many pulled their savings, knowing what would happen if they didn't. The more desperate ones scrambled to take from others, their lives on the line should they not.
It wasn't much different in Imp City. In fact, such a place probably had it the worst.
"Give me everything you've got! I swear, I'll kill you right here-"
*Bang*
Moxxie blasted a hole through the head of the imp, groaning in frustration as he switched clips.
"I hate Tax Day." *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* *Bang*
"I hear ya, Mox." His wonderful wife Millie said, slashing through the throat of an unfortunate sinner who dared try and reach for her back pocket. She looked down at the injured form, taking the back end of her greataxe and smashing him over the head. She couldn't kill the sinner. That didn't mean he would get up for the rest of the day.
"I just don't get why all demons get roped into this?" Moxxie argued. "I mean, this is Hell and all, but for fuck's sake!" Not even looking, he blew a hole into an imp charging at him with a machete. "Most sinners can't even keep a job, so why track them down for a few bucks? And if they can't pay, what the fuck do they do with them?"
Millie shrugged her shoulders, whacking a demon with the flat side of her weapon and sending them flying. "Beats me! All I know is that if we don't pay up, bad stuff happens. One of my family's neighbors, Old Lady Faustus, refused to give up her crop for a year to try and turn more profit. Two days after Tax Day, she was gone and her land was scorched to ash." She glanced over at a group of individuals who looked at her with interest.
It seems they were smarter than the rest, noting her expression and weapon of choice. It certainly helped that she was surrounded by the carnage of those who dared trifle with her or her partner. The group turned around and moved away, much to Millie's relief.
Millie swung her greataxe over the shoulder. "Like I was saying, Old Faustus disappeared and her land was ruined. None of her crops were even collected by them either. The farmland was rendered useless too! A shame, because my daddy called dibs on it during the funeral!"
Moxxie went to say something, only for the screeching of tires to alert him to the streets. The married couple watched as a familiar black van slid across the asphalt, tires burning against the ground as the body of the vehicle swung their direction.
The van leaned to the point of almost tipping, before coming to a dead halt not more than five feet from Moxxie. The back doors swung open with a loud thud. "M&M, get your asses in! We got a lot of shit to do today!"
Moxxie knew better than to say anything to his boss, instead jumping into the van with haste. Millie followed right behind, bounding over several bodies before sliding into the seat beside her husband and slamming the door shut.
Neither had anytime to buckle up before the IMP-mobile tore down the street.
Moxxie sighed as he leaned back into the worn cushions. He gripped at the edge of the door, using it to stop his body from bouncing around as the van whipped through the downtown area. "Mills, you boarded up the back windows before we left, right?"
"Sure did, Mox." She affirmed. "Used some of that sheet metal someone left on the street a few weeks ago and sealed it down. Not even a crowbar can wedge its way in now."
Moxxie leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "You're amazing. Thanks."
"Anything for you." She purred. Moxxie turned to mush as she brought a hand to his cheek, caressing his hair and face.
"Ugh, I'm gonna be sick. You two agreed to no fucking in the van." Loona growled from the front seat, giving a side eye to the blushing imps in the back seat.
"We are doing nothing of the sort!" insisted Moxxie, Millie's hand still stroking the top of his head and horns.
"I am curious what it would be like, though."
"Millie!" said Moxxie, appalled at the notion. However, his mind wandered to the same fantasy as his wife.
"Settle down now, fuckers! We got one more stop to make!" Blitzø shouted, turning the wheel and bringing the van to a ninety-degree twist. The occupants held on where they could as the vehicle drove down a new set of streets.
On each side of the road, imps and sinners were in pandemonium. Some were running, either towards or away from someone else. Individuals scrambled for their cars, while others were in full out brawls on the streets over pocket change.
Kids were sneaking by those none the wiser, snatching anything they could before darting home, more than likely collecting for their families.
The only ones not struggling with what day it was were the homeless, who watched on in amusement. Some corralled around open fires with glee on their faces while others shared stolen liquor in lament over the day that screwed everyone but themselves.
It seems they were the only ones having any fun for such an occasion.
"Sir, this is not the way to the building. Are the roads leading there closed?" Asked Moxxie. The idea of the roads being down for such a day was not a completely impossible scenario.
Blitzø shook his head. "Nah. Neck Orgy asked if I could pick his ass up from his place. Apparently there's a gang war happening out there right now." Loona huffed at the nickname, a dark expression on her face as she continued to message on her hellphone. She said nothing though.
Moxxie facepalmed. First was the lockdown of the apartment. Then it was dealing with all of the desperate bastards outside. Now they were driving into a warzone.
Lucifer, did he hate Tax Day.
"I fucking hate Tax Day." Leon muttered to himself, swinging the barbed wire baseball bat into the face of a lizard looking imp. They went down like a sack of moldy potatoes, giving the sinner the chance to grab at the lizard's gun and duck for the alleyway. He curled into a ball with a roll, keeping himself small through the escape.
The sound of gunfire filled the street, cursing and slurs being spit back and forth between three gangs. Why they were fighting, Leon had no clue. All he knew was that they had beef with each other, and plenty of ammo. Fires started kicking up not too long ago due to one of them shooting the powerlines, making the roads all but disastrous to navigate.
Leon jumped down from a set of apartment stairs, pressing himself close to the turned over garbage bins and sealed windows.
"You! Which gang you a'part uv?!" Leon froze, hearing the click of a hammer primed on a revolver. He turned around slowly, keeping his hands behind his back. Standing about five yards away were two shark-like demons, glaring at him with their weapons drawn.
"I'm not part of any gang. I'm just a sinner, trying to go to work." He said as calmly as he could. His speaker rattled with the shakiness of his breath.
The hammerhead shark demon snarled. "That so? Then you wuldn't mind helping us out, would ya?" His face curled into a sinister smile, showing off rows of sharp teeth.
"Yeah, our boss needs his hands on some extra Souls. I'm sure you'd be willing to… donate to our cause." The smaller, tiger shark looking demon said with his own grin.
Leon gave them both a look of exasperation. "You know you can't kill me, right? The worst you can do is rob me and beat the shit outta me."
"Well, then we might just have to do that then, won't we?" The hammerhead adjusted his aim, eyeing down the sight of his weapon for Leon's head.
"You could, but then the lizard looking fuckers behind you will get to keep it anyway." Leon offered.
The tiger shark demon cackled, pointing a serrated knife at the sinner. "You really think that's we're dumb enough to fall for- ack!" The shark was cut off by a dagger piercing right through his neck, his bluish blood flooding out of the open wound as the blade pulled back.
The hammerhead spun around, being met with the sight of several lizard imps, all equipped with a myriad of weapons. The one who stabbed his partner licked the blade clean, giggling to itself as it brandished the polished weapon.
"Told ya so!" Echoed down the alleyway, even as the hammerhead demon let loose gunfire onto the opposing gang members.
Leon ran down the alley, ignoring the sounds of firefight and screams of pain as he ducked around a corner. He thanked his lucky stars that they were more focused on killing each other than going after him. At least that was one good thing about gang competition for the same streets.
Rounding the corners, he darted out of the alleyway. To his relief, the road he found himself on was much less chaotic, but that wasn't saying much. People still fought tooth and nail with one another, sinners, imps, and all other demons alike contesting each other for what little wealth they had to pay the Department of Hellish Tributes. 'Well, it is Imp City. It's not like the cream of the crop are going to be here anyway.'
Pressing himself near the wall at the alleyway's mouth, he pulled out his phone and sent his location to Blitzø, Moxxie, and Millie. If Blitzø wouldn't see the message, then hopefully one of them would.
"Please sir! Just enough to cover my-" *Bang* Leon fired off a round from his stolen pistol. The gaunt hellhound crumpled to the floor, holding their leg in agony. Tears welled up in their eyes, ears curling back. A whine shuttered through their throat, much to Leon's irritation. He aimed the gun at the hellhounds head. "Get the fuck away from me. I've had enough shit to start this day off with already. Putting your brains on the cement won't make me lose any sleep, so I suggest you scram and try that shit on someone else." He glared at the sickly looking dog.
Noting the lack of sympathy in the sinner's eyes, the hellhound ducked back, standing back up on both legs. His pain seemed to disappear on his muzzle, his hands no longer clutching at the 'wound' on his leg. The hellhound growled at the sinner, upset by the failed attempt. Leon glared back, tapping his baseball bat on the cement. "Be happy I didn't actually shoot you. Maybe now you can run away when the DHT comes after you."
The hellhound snarled and darted away, running off to try his tactic elsewhere. Leon sighed into the wall, keeping his newest weapon within close proximity.
Only a few moments later, a familiar van swerved onto the street and clattered through the terrain. Demons ducked and scrambled away from the reckless driving, their lives more important than a few Souls (for that moment). The black van came to a dead stop in front of Leon, who breathed a sigh of relief. The window rolled down, a smug looking Blitzø staring at him past a silent Loona. "Get in, Bitch! We got bills to pay!" The back door slid open, Moxxie and Millie scooting over.
Leon leaped into the van, slamming the door shut behind him. The van took off down the road, carving a path through the hellish state of Imp City on Tax Day.
I.M.P. Office, Pride
Despite the high spirits of the I.M.P. Team, it was far from a perfect situation.
"Loona, I need the V4V File right now! It's inside the folder labeled 'Processing Forms'. It's needed with the Greed Weapon's Deduction Form." Leon all but shouted, grabbing up several papers and aligning them on the table as neat as he could in his frantic state.
"Fuck. Off." Leon glowered at Loona before turning his head the other direction. He sucked in a breath.
"Blit-"
"Fine!" She growled out, stomping towards the computer and slumping down into the chair.
Leon looked over to Moxxie and Millie, who had brought along their own paperwork. Both looked just as frazzled as he was, a set of blank sheets of paper and calculators beside them as they continued to process their deductions and pay stubs. He had already helped them as much as he could a few days ago, all that was needed was for them to process their own information and payroll within the paperwork to iron out how much was owed.
"Mox." Leon called out. The imp looked up from the paperwork. "You two going to be okay? I don't doubt you two, it's just that-"
"We're actually doing the math right now." Moxxie looked to Millie, who gave a smile in return. Moxxie's eyes softened and he looked to the sinner. "We think we'll be okay." Millie nodded in affirmation.
"Yeah!" She popped up from her seat. "Blitzø sent us our last few paychecks. On top of a extra 'bonus' he threw in, we'll be sitting pretty for this year!" She leaned into her Moxxie, who took her hand into his as he looked to the paperwork.
"Right now, all we have left is to try and get some minor changes done to our rent and housing costs. We don't have property tax, but for some reason, there's a clause in here that says we owe 3.4% as renters." Moxxie's eyebrows knitted together in contemplation.
"Actually." Leon interjected. "If you are renters, you can't be taxed on income spent towards housing. Because you live in Pride and aren't sinners, you actually can nullify that cost completely. That tax is tricky, but it only applies to new residence within the last 5 years that come from outside of the Rings of Hell. Even if you only recently moved in, you've lived in Hell your whole lives. The wording is deceitful to demons like yourselves."
Moxxie gawked at Leon before nodding his head. "That means... we have even more money that I thought we did!" Moxxie muttered, a smile pulling to his lips. Millie squealed in joy before pouncing on her husband. Leon averted his eyes, trailing his vision back over all the papers before him.
The next seven hours were a blur. The payroll accounts and deductions were done by Blitzø, who treated all of it with a surprising level of seriousness. Leon went over each paper his boss completed. Save for a few drawn on horses and improperly carried values, it all looked completed properly.
Loona, despite her lack of desire to aid, printed whatever was needed with little (some) complaint. She gave plenty of nasty looks to the sinner, who ignored her in favor of completing his task. After completing their own paperwork, Millie and Moxxie offered their services as well. The three imps and one sinner bounced around each other, confusion readily available, but work still being completed.
The final stacks of paperwork made themselves smaller with each passing part of the day. Even as the five of them grew hungry and tired, they pushed forward. Even as the printer caught on fire, and the power went out in the building for a part of the day, the work didn't stop.
Leon checked over each paper. The amount of documents completed was no joke. Despite the size of I.M.P., the deductibles, loopholes, tax breaks, secondary assets, payroll allocation statements, and company filing documents made up a stack half-a-foot thick. And now it was all done. Stacked up nice and proper on the boardroom table.
Blitzø looked at the papers, mesmerized. He looked over at the sinner, giving them a smirk. "Well, shit." His smile grew, the yellow of his teeth gleaming off of the lights. "We fuckin' did it!" He shouted out in success. "Fuck you, DHT! Kiss my dick you money grubbing horsefuckers! We got this shit in the bag!" Pulling out a cardboard box, he took up the stack and dropped them unceremoniously inside.
"Alright, bitches. I'm gonna drop these off before those bastards close. Once I get back, we're celebrating!" Blitzø grinned, slinging the box into his arms and walking towards the door.
"Can you drop off our paperwork while you're over there?" Millie asked, holding a slightly thick manila folder.
"Mind too?" Leon offered. He had finished it the night before, but hadn't the opportunity to send it in. He wasn't going to trust the mail system either. Too many delivery trucks got robbed where he lived.
Blitzø groaned. "Ugh, fine! But only because it wasn't Moxxie who asked."
Moxxie narrowed his eyes at his boss. "So you're saying you be okay with-"
"Abso-fucking-lutly." Blitzø, his smile no leaving his face.
"Geez. Thanks, Sir." Moxxie grumbled sarcastically. Blitzø ignored his statement once more, instead flipping them all off with a grin as he lugged the tall stack of documents towards the door. With a flick of his tail, he knocked the handle and kicked it open with his foot.
Blitzø turned to all of them. "When I get back, I want cheezy bread. And from the fancy place that actually uses cheese!" The door slammed shut behind the tallest red imp. A second later, the sound of Blitzø saying goodbye to Loona echoing down the hall as he exited the main door to the Headquarters.
Leon leaned back. "It's finished." He said softly, the static in his voice catching his words.
"Tell me about it." Moxxie slumped into the chair adjacent. "This was probably the worst Tax Day and season we've ever experienced." He looked over at Leon. "I mean, yeah. We've dealt with taxes prior, but with moving last year, new address, and new mailing address, it's been horrible." Moxxie huffed. Millie walked up beside the chair where Moxxie sat, pressing herself into the same seat. Moxxie shifted over, leaving room for his better half and pressing comfortably against her. Leon averted his eyes.
"Coupled with all of the shaky payroll accounts and pay stubs, and all of the extra taxes that were tacked onto our paperwork this year, it felt like we were going to be under for a good bit there." Moxxie leaned into the touch of his wife, who brushed her thumb against his cheek before looking at Leon.
"Luckily, it's all over. Now we can go back to doing what we're good at." Millie sighed. "Honestly, I'm in a right mood to go hunt down a pedophile or strangle some harlot on Earth. Just something to ease the tension, you know?"
Moxxie laughed. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea. I'm sure that Blitzø would probably like to do the same. With all of the stress of Tax Day from the past two weeks, he's probably just as happy about being able to jump back into new jobs without any concern for the income."
Leon leaned back into the chair, eyes casting to the ceiling. "You two really enjoy killing people, huh?" Moxxie and Millie paused, turning their attention to the sinner in the room. Leon noticed the stares, awkwardly shifting in his seat. "Well, I mean... I know it's your job and all, but you two seem to actually enjoy the aspect of murder, and not just because you're paid to." Moxxie and Millie both blinked, looking at each other. "I'm not shaming you or anything! It's just... well, I don't know how to explain it, I guess." Leon waved his hand dismissively. "Forget I said anything."
Millie slipped out of the chair from Moxxie. "If us talking about killing people makes you uncomfortable, we're sorry." She apologized, giving him a soft smile. "You told us about how you died and all. If that's the reason, we won't bring it up as much when you're around." Leon shook his head, standing up from his own chair.
"No... it's just." Leon pursed his lips. He looked past his own bangs, staring at the kind-hearted yet bloodthirsty imps before him. His friends. "When I was on Earth. When I was living, their were all these documentaries and studies about murderers. About how their brains worked, and how they enjoyed what they did. People like Dahmer, Bundy, Holmes, the list goes on. How some of them found internal and psychological satisfaction in the death of others at their own hands." Leon walked over to the window, staring down at the still bustling, rabid streets of Imp City. "How they weren't even human for what they did, because they clearly couldn't process the horrible things they were doing. And if they did, they did it anyway because it was fun to them."
Moxxie moved from his seat, bumping shoulders with Millie. "Do you see us as... lesser, because we enjoy killing people?" Moxxie pressed, keeping his words even. To his surprise, Leon shook his head.
Leon clicked his teeth. "No, it's me." He admitted. "I thought I was a horrible person. That I was less human for my feelings." Leon turned towards them, eyes full of dark maroon. "I killed someone when I was alive, and relished in it." He said softly. "Half of me told me I was sick for enjoying it... but the other half reminded me of how good it felt when I smashed their head it. When their blood was on my hands, and when it was all over." Leon could still remember the look in their eyes. The panic and dread. The terror as he brought the blunt instrument down on their head. The pleas for mercy. How it made him stir inside.
"I hated myself. Not because of what I did, but how I felt about it." Leon chuckled humorlessly. "It's probably why I was so willing to work for an agency that ruined other people's lives. A government branch that destroyed people's aspirations. It took me back to that moment, in a way." Leon's features morphed into a frown. A saddened expression took to his face.
"I know I've only know you two for less than seven weeks... but-" A red finger popped into his vision, silencing him.
"Lee, honey. We get it." Leon looked down at Millie. "I won't lie and say I understand the aspects of bein' human and bein' a sinner, but I understand. You've had this on your mind for quite some time. A lot longer than you've been a sinner." Millie patted him on the arm.
"Sometimes I get caught up in the moment." Moxxie chimed in. "Other times I ask myself whether the person we're killing is worth it, because of who they are and whether they're innocent. Things are different in Hell for sure, but don't compare yourself to people who murdered for 'fun'. Did you have a reason for why you did it?"
Leon looked down, eyes full of memories. The conversations in his life, and what led to that moment. He stared up at Moxxie, nodding his head. Moxxie smirked. "Then there you go. You're not a horrible person for having those feelings. At least not to me."
"Or me." Millie slugged the sinner in the arm. "And don't ever feel bad about the idea of killing people who deserve it. Sometimes a good shotgun to the head or a decapitation is necessary." Leon smiled, rubbing his arm.
"Thanks you two. I appreciate it."
Millie leaned up against the table, absentmindedly twirling her tail with her hand. "You know, I actually have a better idea of what we can do to destress. There's supposed to be a festival-type farmer's market in the upper regents of Pride. It's in a few days, and near where Pentagram City is." Moxxie looked over in surprise, to which Millie smirked at him. "We do have a bit more money than we thought we did. Coupled with the extra savings from that tax loophole Lee showed us, and the bonus we got, I feel like we're in a good place right now. Right, Mox?"
Moxxie stared at his wife in awe. He had saw something online about that event a month ago, but had not even considered it. Considering the hold on finances and that they were struggling at the time, he didn't think they would have enough to even get in. But now...
Moxxie smiled at his wife. "I love you so much." He pressed his forehead against hers, rubbing it affectionately before facing the now slightly blushing sinner in the room. "I think a festival farmer's market sounds great. What do you say?" Moxxie offered.
Leon mulled over the words, grinning at the duo. "I'll need something to wear other than a button up."
End Chapter
What's this? I feel like I mentioned a 'farm market' prior to this. I can only wonder what may come from such a situation.
I hope you all enjoyed the chapter. Please follow/fav the story, it lets me know that you care about what I'm doing. If you have anything you want to say, my PM and reviews are open to you!
Until Next Time, See Ya!