The next morning I woke up to the stupid, repetitive alarm clock buzzing, still in my old dingy school clothes, along with my pillow stuck to the side of my face. I pulled the sheets off of me and flipped my legs over the side of the bed. I smashed my hand on the clock and stood up with wobbly legs, rubbing my eyes and then one big huge stretch and a loud, "Uuuuugh."

I scratched my back as I took off my clothes, chucked them into my open closet, and headed straight into the bathroom. And of course I forgot about,

"L-L-Ludwig?!"

He had already gotten ready for school and was just about to head downstairs. I was lucky enough to still have my underwear on.

"Good morning Feliciano, taking a shower I presume?"

I looked around frantically as if I didn't know my own house anymore, "Ya, Ya!"

Once I found what door I was looking for, I ran to it, and shut it behind me.

"I hope that he is ready by the time we need to leave." He walked down the stairs and found my mom making toast and eggs. She saw him turn the corner ready for school.

"You're used to getting up early I suppose?"

"Ah ya, to be quite frank, I usually get up earlier back home…", He rubbed the back of his neck as if he was nervous about saying that.

"Well, you can eat. The boys will be ready soon."

He sat down at the table and dug in while I was nowhere near ready. I couldn't decide if I needed to shower. I didn't want to and just ran into the bathroom so I could pee. I looked in the mirror with my hands on the edge of the counter, "Huh…. I forgot about him." I wouldn't say that I forgot, more like my mind temporarily decided that he was just a dream and in the morning he'd be gone; that however was not the case. I put my head under the sink and soaked my hair in cold water. I grabbed a towel and rubbed it dry, then ran a comb quickly through it. My curl instantly stuck out from the side of my head. I slowly brushed my teeth and continued to stare into the lifeless morning eyes I had. I rinsed my brush and walked out of the bathroom, now more tired than when I had first woke up.

Roma walked out of his room ready to go, "You look like crap, fix it."

"and good morning to you too, Roma."

"Tsk, whatever." He waved his hand and walked down the stairs, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his bag over his shoulder.

"Fine be that way." I went into my room and grabbed a fresh pair of blue jeans and a flannel shirt. I rolled up the sleeves and put on some socks. I slipped into my blue sneakers. I grabbed the car keys and my bag and walked down the stairs. Everyone was eating breakfast. I wasn't hungry. So I just grabbed a piece of toast and looked for something to do till everyone was done.

"Feli, how about you sit down?"

"No, we need to leave anyway."

Ludwig looked at the clock on the wall and noticed it was time, so he sat up and put his dishes in the sink. Roma did too and they both walked out the door.

I looked at my mother and she just smiled back. I walked to the door with my head down at the floor. I felt like my heart was going to explode. Why does he have to be here? Why does my heart feel like this? Why? Mom stood up and put my head on her chest,

"You'll be ok sweetie. It's a new day."

She let go and I walked out the door, but instead of questions, I now had one goal:

"I will make Ludwig my boyfriend! And we will be the best of friends and he'll love me too! I can do it!"

And thanks the heavens that neither of them heard me say that; everyone was waiting in the car. I hopped in and started it up. "To school we go!"

But by the time we all arrived at school, all my confidence had drained out of me. Roma just got out of the car and left without a word. But I bet that Ludwig wasn't going to leave the car, thanks to the expression I had on my face as I parked it. It's almost as if Ludwig could see that I wanted to die and so he asked, "Are you tired from last night?"

We both stepped out of the car and shut our doors. I had my face to the ground. 'Put on a fake smile and don't freak out.' I started to walk to the school, still unable to put on a good game face.

I just mumbled into the concrete, "Everything is ok, let's just get going before the bell starts to ring."

He opened the door for me… I continued walking. Without even thinking about it, I walked up the stairs and into my first class, but also his first class. He sat next to me as I put my bag on the floor. He waved his hand in front of my glazed eyes and they sparked with life. I sort of jumped in my seat. Not only did I not have any confidence but yes, I was terribly tired from last night. I didn't sleep well at all… today is going to be hard.

Good thing my first class is English, a class where for an hour and a half, I read stories that some old dudes thought would be a good way to teach kids. I didn't pay attention at all but gratefully Lud did. He can help me with the homework later.

The bell rang and on instinct, I sat up from my desk and headed to my next class. What I didn't do was grab the homework from my desk… Lud did though.

I sat through the next class and forgot my work for that one as well and the next one and the next. Lud didn't though. He had all of mine and his assignments in his binders, waiting for me to notice so he could give them to me. The entire day, even during lunch, we didn't say a word to each other. Lud talked in all our classes and spoke with Roma during lunch but I, I didn't have anything to say. It's as if I wasn't there. I couldn't tell ya a single thing that we learned today but Lud could.

I didn't even drive home; Roma took my keys and said it'd be fine if he drove. I laid down in the back seat and was out cold before Roma even drove us home.

But good thing Lud was stronger enough to carry me inside and put me in my bed. He also took all of my work out of his binders and placed it all on my desk, along with all of his super detailed notes.

I didn't wake up till after dinner and everyone was getting ready for bed and doing their homework. I walked out of my room, went downstairs and saw a plate of food on the counter, covered, with a note on the side. "Heat this up when you wake up. You didn't have lunch so it'll be good to get something in that stomach of yours. ~Love Mom."

I uncovered the plate and noticed it was her classic Chicken Fettuccini Alfredo. So I popped it into the microwave and waited with a fork in hand. I could hear someone walking down the stairs but I didn't pay any attention to them. 'It's probably just Roma getting something to snack on while he studies like he always does.' I tried to think that. I stared into the microwave, watching my plate spin round and round while every now and then hearing a pop and a snap. I turned around to grab a glass so I could get some water while I ate but was startled to see Ludwig leaning on the counter. I dropped my fork but didn't try to pick it up.

"That vasn't just you being tired."

Then I tried to pick up my fork, I didn't want to talk to him but, "Yes it was. You've only just met me. It's been two days." I picked up my fork.

"And from those two days, I've noticed that you vant to be my friend but can't look at me in the eyes and say it to my face."

'I've hurt him.'

"From vhere I stand, I think you're either lying to me or there's something else going on."

I looked at the ground feeling a redness starting to fill my face. I whispered, "I-I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

I could feel tears forming in my eyes; I didn't mean to hurt him, I-I just can't look at you and see you as just a friend… though it's only been two days.

I could then see him moving closer to me and eventually I could see his black socks in front of me. Then, I could feel him wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. 'So warm.' I couldn't breathe. I'm so happy. I hugged him back and felt the heaviness of guilt and shyness lift off of me.

"I know you're shy and all but, it shouldn't be that hard to be friends' vith me vhen I know you vant to be my friend… so we're friends. And if you could look me in the eyes vhen we talk, that vould be nice."

I then heard the microwave "ding" done and he let me go. I put my hand on the handle and opened the door. I pulled out my food and looked at him, for the first time, in the eyes and said, "Ya sure, I can do that."

And finally for the first time I felt like I could actually smile… and then I remembered I didn't pay attention the entire day.

"Oh crap, I didn't pay attention the entire day today. Did I even grab my notes and homework?"

Lud smiled, "I grabbed them all for you. I put all my notes and your vork in your room, on your desk."

I put my plate on the counter and quickly shoveled in Moms' awesome dinner and dropped my empty plate into the sink before I ran up the stairs and into my room. Lud walked up the stairs and looked into my room where I was already staring at his awesome notes and filling out my homework. I saw him.

"Thanks so much and I'm sorry for how I acted today. I promise I won't act like that ever again. I'm sorry."

He smiled again, "It's perfectly fine, just as long as you give me my notes back once you're done."

"Ve, can do." I realized that I hadn't said "Ve" since dad died, maybe because that's what he'd say and then I started to say it but, when he died I just stopped… but I wouldn't mind bringing it back; Maybe.