Chapter 32
Confession
Kael found himself wracked with confusion as he stared at the droid which had just stated the impossible. Barely ten minutes after it had tried to brutally end his life in the streets of Anchorhead, 'master' was the last word he had expected it to call him. Even towards Zaalbar, the droid didn't seem to hold any grudge or malice, instead standing upright in soldierly fashion, seemingly ready to take whatever orders it was given.
"Is this a game?" Kael hissed, not daring to lower his lightsaber, a weapon that had already proved futile against the monster standing before him. "What kind of trick are you trying to pull?"
"Explanation: It is not a trick, master," it replied. "My programming dictates that upon the death or lengthy and unexplained absence of my master, I am to actively seek out a new, worthy master and serve him or her accordingly. According to the dictates of my programming, you are one such meatbag."
Although she was curious as to how HK came to such a conclusion about Kael, Elena knew that such matters had to wait. "How can we trust you?" she asked, walking sideways in order to get a good angle to strike the droid in case it was a bluff.
"Demonstration," the droid replied, swiftly raising its weapon-arm and shooting a dart which flew past Carth's leg before anyone could react. One second later, groans could be heard coming from the Exchange goon behind him who evidently did not die from the bullet wound in his abdomen left by Carth's blaster in the initial firefight. The blaster pistol rolled out of the thug's hand, and one sigh later, he ceased moving altogether. "Statement: Have I proved myself to you now, master?"
Given the nature of spies employed by both the Sith and the Exchange, Kael was far from calm, and so his lightsaber still remained active. As much as he wished to ask more questions, there was no time to waste. "We'll have to see about that, HK-47. If you're as loyal as you claim to be, you wouldn't be able to help us locate hunting licenses in this place, would you?"
"Gleeful reply: Of course, master. I will be most happy to oblige," HK said, quietly pacing over to the left side of the foyer wall behind Kael, not caring about the weapons which were still pointed at him.
"Hurry it up, we've got perhaps one minute at best before the guards show up on this doorstep," Carth fretted, his eyes darting between the door and Audrey and Mission who still lay unconscious on the couch.
"Statement: Patience is a virtue, meatbag," HK snidely quipped as he pushed against a single brick in the wall, resulting in it being driven in and rotated in the wall until it was perpendicular with the rest of the bricks which remained unmoving. Shortly after, a small section of the wall – the size of a door – slid inward, revealing a secret lit compartment which the party members marvelled at, walking closer to take a better look. Weapons and ammunition lay aplenty on several shelves, but Carth's eyes seemed to light up at the sight of brown-colored, long slips of paper that were neatly stacked at the back.
"Those are it! The same kind of licenses we saw displayed on the computers in Czerka's HQ!" Carth exclaimed.
"There's a lot of gear here as well for you and Canderous to use, Carth. But…," Kael grimaced, realizing that time was running out.
"We don't have time to stay here any longer," Elena rashly said. "Just grab a pistol or two if you need to, Carth. Otherwise, take those licenses, search out Mission's belongings and let's get the hell out of here."
"No time for those either, I'm afraid," Carth bit his lip as he looked at Mission and Audrey. He dashed in and grabbed the licenses, handing them all to Kael who promptly put them in his robe's inner pocket. With Audrey safe in his arms and Mission secure in Zaalbar's, he turned to the door. "We need to get out of here now. Any ideas?"
"I will cause a distraction far away and draw them to me," Juhani suggested. "Get Mission and Audrey back to the Ebon Hawk. I'll be right behind you."
With a shimmer, Juhani faded into the streets, tiny footsteps being drawn in the sand as she ran off westward.
However, the party's confidence in her was offset by their suspicion for HK whom they continued to gaze at. Droids of its advanced kind were notorious for being able to feign loyalty and engage in insidious acts of all kinds while putting on the act of a faithful minion, only to slit throats in the middle of the night. Due to several recorded incidents of that nature in several fleets which had droids that were tampered with or planted by the Sith, Carth refused to let down his guard for one moment.
"If you're willing to serve your new 'master', as you claim, then show it to us," Elena ordered, confidently stepping forth. "Either make a distraction of your own, or cover us as we return to our ship."
"Statement: I will not take orders from you, meatbag," HK bluntly said, much to Elena's visible frustration as a frown etched across her brow. "I follow only the orders of my master, unless he gives me explicit instructions to follow another's orders for a defined duration of time."
Seeing that there was no other way, Kael sighed before addressing the droid. "HK, do you think you can cause a distraction of your own and get back to us?"
"Statement: Certainly, master," HK nodded before stepping outside. Without the slightest bit of hesitation, he raised his weapon-arm in the air and fired off a fragmentation grenade in the general direction where Juhani had run off to, much to the horror of those who looked on.
A loud explosion sounded from where HK launched the grenade, prompting an angry rebuke from Carth. "What the hell! Are you completely insane?"
HK merely turned in a bored manner as he replied. "Statement: The master asked for a distraction, which I have duly provided you. I suggest you get running, meatbags."
-o-
Blessed by the absence of any docking bay guards or other security around the Ebon Hawk, the party was able to swiftly return to their ship without any further troubles. Once all fees were accounted for, even Otto the Toydarian Czerka overseer was uninterested in keeping an eye on his docking bays until the next customer would roll in.
Not a single smile stretched across any of their faces, even when T3-M4 lowered the loading ramp and greeted them with a cheerful toot. With their newfound follower in their midst, it was hardly likely that a single soul would get a decent night's sleep. To further compound their misery, they knew that what they had experienced that night would only be a taste of all the hellish trials that were yet to come.
"T3, get the medical bay ready quick," Kael said, his hasty tone showing that there was no time for politeness. The droid did as it was told immediately and wheeled off after seeing the unconscious figures of Mission and Audrey brought in.
"What about this new droid of yours?" Canderous grunted, taking a suspicious look at HK who loomed over the entire group except Zaalbar. "You just gonna let it in?"
"HK," Kael turned to the droid, his voice resonating with authority as he gave a direct order. "Follow Canderous into the cargo hold. Remove all of your weapons that are detachable, and keep those that are not in plain view of Canderous. Don't do anything until I come back for you. Understood?"
"Answer: Of course, master. I shall do as you wish," HK sighed, promptly walking behind Canderous who followed Kael's request to make himself useful while the others tended to their wounds. The Mandalorian clearly still hadn't gotten over leaving Xor to die a slow, painful death instead of being mercilessly riddled with bolts.
After seeing Canderous and HK off, Kael paced to the medical bay, where T3 was busily preparing several tools and opening up medpacs in order to administer immediate treatment. An exhausted Carth laid down Audrey on the bed, the former assassin still not having awoken. Her condition, as bad as it was before, was now only worse. The color of her right shin had turned a hideous purplish-blue from the wounds she sustained against the dark Jedi, and the sight of her left arm, which suffered both a fractured shoulder and rolled elbow, made them wonder just how she managed to keep her composure and will to fight against the Exchange gangsters.
Mission was placed next to her guardian, and to the relief of all, her injury was not as serious. The blaster wound she suffered in her right calf contained no fragments of bullets, the shot having been from a purely laser-based pistol. It was well within Elena, Bastila and Juhani's healing capabilities, and would be nothing more than a terrible memory in due time.
"This is terrible," Elena gritted her teeth as she walked forth and knelt by the bed, looking at Audrey who was in a complete wreck from her zealous attempts to save Mission. Upon very close inspection, a small metallic bullet was still lodged relatively deep inside her right shoulder. "This won't require simple Force healing. T3, we'll need your help in removing this bullet."
"Shit! Why didn't we notice that before?" Carth said, cursing the darkness of the hideout that made it impossible to notice the bullet at the scene. "Is she gonna be okay?"
"It's going to take serious work, but I'm confident that we'll be able to treat her," Elena replied, then looked around at the party members who all looked on, gathered inside the small medical bay. A thousand thoughts raced through her mind, not least of which was the deep emotions that looking upon Kael's face evoked in her heart. Even after the hectic fight through the Anchorhead streets and the takedown of the Exchange hideout, Elena knew that Kael would not have forgotten about the vision they both shared in the midst of battle. Questions would need to be asked and answered, but now was not the time. "Bastila, I'll need your help with this. The rest of you, please take Mission to her bed and treat her there. Her wounds aren't as serious, and should be straightforward to heal."
"You're sure?" Carth stepped forward, still concerned as ever. "You don't want me to stay and—"
"Carth," Elena interjected. "I know how much you love Audrey and what she means to you, but you have to listen to me. Bastila and I will need to concentrate for this, so please just…tend to Mission, ok?"
"Al-alright," Carth sighed, visibly crushed by the fact that he had to leave Audrey's side. "I'll trust you with her. Just…make sure she turns out fine, yeah?"
"We will," Bastila nodded, taking her place beside Elena.
"Thanks," Carth said, picking up Mission in his arms and carrying her off to her bed in the starboard dorm. Leaving Elena, Bastila and T3 to address Audrey's grievous wounds, the others followed after Carth who walked with a somber look on his face, still not fully relieved at the fact that he avoided losing everything dear to him for a second time.
They walked together silently, each reflecting on what had and what could have happened. Kael's eyes still veered towards Juhani and his mind grew impatient, yearning to know how she was handling her emotions after the final confrontation with Xor. The Cathar's face was still as neutral as ever – even a droid looked more capable of expressing emotions at that point.
After arriving at the dorm, Carth lay Mission down on her side on her own bed, her wounded shin pointing outward. He withdrew a little, affording the Jedi space so that they could heal her, and stood beside Zaalbar who watched on.
"Let us begin," Juhani said, kneeling by Mission's bedside with Kael. She took a deep breath in, urging herself to persist despite her fatigue and lingering thoughts of Xor. She raised her hands in front of her over Mission's wounds, but faltered a little when she saw Kael raise his hands in a sluggish fashion. "Is there something wrong?"
"I, err…," Kael stammered. "I'm afraid that I haven't received much practical lessons when it comes to healing. Virtually none, actually. I've had no wounds that needed to be healed during my lessons as an Initiate."
"What?" she almost hissed, irked by his ignorance of the art. "What did Elena and Bastila teach you, then?"
"Combat, meditation, and the like," he sighed and shrugged his shoulders. "As I said, I had no exposure to major wounds that needed healing, to myself or others. At least until I met you, that is."
Juhani grunted when she was made to remember back to that fateful day when she was forced to end her best friend's life by using her influence over beasts. Belaya was just one of the many people she failed to save due to her weakness. All her days as a Jedi were devoted to becoming stronger in order to protect the ones she loved, but in the end proved to be for nothing as she killed Belaya.
"Then follow as I say," Juhani said, quickly focusing her mind back on the task at hand so that she would stop killing herself over her past. "Give me your hands." She laid her hands over those of Kael's, positioning them over Mission's wounds. She closed her eyes and focused herself, using her shared bond with Kael which slowly grew stronger ever since she saved his life by mending his wounds in the crystal cave.
Wait, Juhani thought, curiously peering down at their hands. This feeling…it is so familiar. But why? I recall this feeling, this warmth. It is almost as if…No. No, I am not thinking right. I must focus.
"You alright?" Kael asked sensing her uneasiness.
"Y-yes. I am sorry for bothering you," she replied, fighting down a small smile that almost formed on her lips as she realized just how much he cared for her welfare. Focusing again on Mission's wound, she spoke. "Channel the Force to your hands, just as you would when attempting to use any other ability."
"Like Force Push?"
"Yes. Like Force Push," she answered with the slightest hint of irritation, remembering how she had the wind knocked out of her during their battle on Dantooine. "Now use the Force to reach out to her. Reach out to her mind and the pain she is suffering. Let your mind yearn to heal her, both body and mind."
Kael did as he was instructed, closing his eyes in order to heighten his concentration. The Force and his emotions coursed through him in a way the Masters certainly would've condemned, but he didn't care. He poured heart and soul into reaching out to the young girl he came to love like a little sister, devoting himself to mending her wounds. Suddenly, a task which he thought to be so difficult merely seconds ago seemed so simple, as his mind seemed to click onto where each and every separate tiny wound was located, and what the remedy was. His powers worked in tandem with Juhani's, and mere moments later, Mission's flesh was completely healed, with not even a remnant scar left behind.
"Good. Very good," Juhani gasped, amazed by his rapid progress in what was only his first formal lesson in healing. "I am surprised at how fast you've managed to heal her. Just how did you do it?"
"I, uhh…it's kinda difficult for me to say exactly how I pulled it off, I'm afraid," Kael grimaced, withdrawing his hands back to his sides.
"You can speak to me freely," she reminded him. "I am not in any position to judge you, given my past."
"If you say so," Kael said, standing up with her and watching on as Carth and Zaalbar each knelt down to inspect Mission's healed state in amazement. "Simply speaking, I tapped into my emotions. When you told me to let my mind yearn to heal her, I guess I went further than the average Jedi would. The Masters all taught me in my theoretical lessons to tap into the more passive emotions such as compassion when administering healing, but I decided to channel emotions which they certainly would've discouraged."
"And that is…?"
"Love. Mission's like a little sister to me, and it just killed me to see her wounded. Plus, I grew up as an orphan, and in my early days I always craved a loving family, something that I knew I would probably never see. I know that Carth and Audrey adore Mission, and so I basically just imagined what I'd feel for Mission if I were in their shoes."
"Darn right you are, Kael," Carth sighed, laying Mission flat on her back and pulling the cover over her still-ice-cold figure to keep her warm. "You don't know how worried I was when we found out she went missing, let alone how relieved I am now that she's back here safe and sound."
"I see," Juhani smiled. "Truthfully, I am the same as you when I use the Force to heal others. I know how painful it is to lose someone whom you love dearly. That is why every time I heal someone, I think of my home planet of Cathar, and all the loved ones I lost. Every life that is lost represents someone who was cherished and treasured by another. Ever since I became a Jedi, I strived to prevent others from feeling the pain I have suffered. To protect people and save lives. But…" She suddenly turned and hung her head as she walked away, a heavy sigh emanating from her lips.
"Juhani?" Kael spoke, hoping that she'd turn around. She did not, however, and so he chose to follow after her. "You guys gonna be alright looking after her?" he turned and said to Carth.
"She'll be fine – just leave her with us," Carth assured him.
"Thanks," Kael said, then smiled at Zaalbar. "And especially thanks to you, buddy. If it wasn't for you, I'd definitely not be standing here."
"You're welcome," he replied back shyly in Shyriiwook, avoiding Kael's gaze in embarrassment as he looked at Mission's sleeping figure.
Although Kael thought Juhani would only be a few steps ahead, she was nowhere to be seen as he entered the corridor. He paced over to the main hold, hoping to catch sight of her, but all he could hear was mumbling and unpleasant mechanical noises coming from behind the closed medical bay door. Then, turning his head leftward, he finally saw her sitting alone in the engine room, her face buried against her knees.
"Are you okay?" Kael whispered as he gently approached her, crouching by her side and placing his hand on her shoulder.
She did not answer.
"Juhani, please talk to me. I know it's tough for you to talk about things like this, but I really do want to help you."
"It is not something you can help me with," Juhani sighed. "It is a matter for my own heart."
"Regardless of whether or not that's true, I want to at least try," he said, grasping her hands. "If it weren't for you, some of us may not be here right now. I owe it to you to help you. You don't have to be strong all the time, Juhani. You can talk to us about these things."
Memories of events since her traumatic childhood all came flooding back into Juhani's mind. The bombardment of Cathar, the brutality of Clan Fett, the endless agonizing days she spent as a slave…No matter how hard she tried to simply bury them in the past, those memories would remain forever.
"I am a failure," she exhaled, hanging her head in shame.
"What?"
"I am a failure," she reiterated more fiercely. "Ever since I first was accepted into the Order, I strived to become more powerful so that I could protect others. So that I could prevent another tragedy such as Cathar. But I…I have fallen so short of that goal. I wanted to become a savior to others, just like him, but…I only ended up close to becoming a monster."
"'Him'? You mean—"
"Revan," she said. "He saved me from my enslavers in the Lower City of Taris, not long after I had lost everything. I still remember the emotions I felt that day as he knelt in front of me, empowering me with words of hope. He told me that I could become a great Jedi, and that I could use my powers to help those in need as he had always strived to do." She sighed again and shook her head. "But what have I done? I haven't saved anyone – I've only killed those who were trying to save me from my own darkness after I had given in to fear. Where once I was driven by hope and the desire to do good, my mind was twisted and I was eventually overtaken by the desire to exact revenge on Xor. That is why I struck down Master Quatra in my training. At times it seemed that revenge was all that I lived for, and that I hated myself for being too weak to grasp it. Now that Xor is finally dead, I…I feel empty. I feel that I have nothing to look forward to."
"Juhani…," Kael offered his sympathies, rubbing her on the back.
"I feel nothing. No anger, and yet no hope. No desires or wishes. It is as if my life is over, and yet I'm living as a shadow of my former self. A walking corpse, with no ambition or goals."
"That can't be true, Juhani," he shook his head. "If revenge against Xor was your one and only desire, then why is it that you came along with us?"
"…"
"I know you feel conflicted right now Juhani, but try to ask yourself that. Didn't you come along with us in the hope of saving the galaxy? I'm sure that you wanted to keep your promise to Revan that you'd become a great Jedi and strive to protect others. Tonight, you've done just that. Without you, I don't know what would've happened to us, let alone Mission. You've proven that you're capable of great things, so don't quit on us now."
"Still, how can you trust me?" she exhaled in frustration. "I fought while suppressing my own fears, yes. But you do not understand. Rather than fight to save Mission, I fought to exact vengeance on Xor. I know what lay in my heart, and I cannot deny it. In that moment we struck their base, killing him with my own hands was more important than anything else."
"But you didn't. In the end, you were able to restrain yourself, and that's what counts. You don't have to be the picture-perfect Jedi that the Order holds in such high regard in order to be able to accomplish great things. Neither of us are Jedi in that style, and I for one gladly accept you for who you are."
"What…what do you mean by that?" she stared at him curiously.
"This is kind of embarrassing for me to admit, but…I…I guess I feel somewhat inspired by you, Juhani. I still remember the day I first met you in that cave, when you seemed so consumed by your fear and anger. But look at you now – you've moved past that dark chapter of your life and have learned to control and channel your passion, instead of letting it rule over you. That kind of control is something that I myself haven't quite grasped just yet, and I still have so much to learn from you. I'd rather have by my side someone like you who's learned to overcome her inner darkness, rather than a model Jedi who's been taught from childhood to suppress her emotions."
"You truly mean that…don't you?" Juhani gasped, deeply moved by his words.
"I do. Every single person on this ship is important to us all in this quest. I can have a guess that Mission's gonna feel down in the dumps once she wakes up, but she'll get over it. She's going to accomplish great things for us eventually, I'm sure of it. So don't be so downhearted, Juhani. Just keep your head up and believe in yourself."
"I…I will," she said with conviction, suddenly having grown determined after doubting herself for so long. She hadn't felt this way ever since Revan himself placed his hands on her shoulders and told her what great feats she could one day accomplish.
"Great to hear it," Kael smiled and rose with her. "Now come on – you need rest. After tonight, you deserve rest more than any one of us here."
"Alright. I will go," she said, heading for the portside dorm, but not before stopping to look back at him with peaceful eyes and let out a whisper. "Thank you…"
Glad to see that Juhani had finally made peace with herself and her past, Kael rose and exited the engine room shortly after her departure. His mind him screamed at him for rest, echoing the wishes of his body which still ached from numerous bruises sustained from the brutal close-quarters fight he had against HK. He didn't know whether to shudder with fear or laugh at himself now that the very same droid that almost killed him was now being given quarter in the ship.
Still, part of him was convinced that the droid genuinely meant no harm, as it was following its own programming and protocols. To their fortune, no shouts or violent outbursts came from the cargo hold since he sent Canderous away to watch HK, and so there was further reason to keep a relaxed and level head for the time being.
Small chatter could be heard in the cargo hold between Canderous and HK, but Kael instead walked towards the medical bay, staring at the door that remained firmly closed. He breathed a sigh of relief upon realizing that the chilling metallic noises emitted by T3's tools had died down, and only a soft, light-blue glow could be seen radiating out through the bottom of the door. Unlike Mission's manageable wound, Audrey's were much more serious, surely requiring what was to be a lengthy healing process.
He couldn't help but be amazed by Audrey's dedication to save Mission, shrugging off her wounds in a way that would surely have made even Canderous blush. It was understandable that Audrey didn't want Mission's life to be ruined in the same way that hers was following her family's disintegration, and yet it was awe-inspiring to see Audrey risk so much and to not even consider simply staying back behind the Jedi in the company during the fight.
All the more reason to look out for them the next time we're in a battle, Kael thought as he made his way to the cargo hold. Those four…they deserve a real shot at being a family.
"…and then I eventually ended up on Taris, serving under Davik. Darn boring shit I had to put up with, I'll tell you that much," Canderous could be heard muttering to HK before chuckling heartily, almost as if he was catching up with an old friend. "Gotta say, we have a lot more in common than I thought. Except for our taste in weaponry, I say."
"Statement: Large blasters such as yours are incompatible with my line of work. I am an assassination droid, not a juggernaut."
The hell are they talking about? Kael wondered as he walked in the room, prompting Canderous to turn to face him while HK didn't even creak his head sideways to glance at him.
"What's going on, Canderous?" he asked calmly.
"Looks like you've hit the jackpot tonight, Kael," Canderous laughed. "Not only did you get a droid that could whoop anyone's ass, you also got a droid that fits me to a T."
Kael grimaced at HK. "I don't follow."
"Explanation: The Mandalorian meatbag and I were discussing our respective past experiences, master. It appears we have both served under several masters previously. Needless to say, those days proved to be quite tedious indeed. We were also having a jolly good time discussing our preferred methods of termination."
"I…don't think I wanna get into that right now," Kael replied. He peered at Canderous who continued to grin at HK. Half an hour having passed since the death of Xor, Canderous had a content smile on his face despite not being able to take the revenge he truly wanted against the man who killed his own niece.
The Mandalorian was undoubtedly a difficult man to read. Was he genuinely amused at present all because of HK, or was he merely smiling to conceal his inner agony and still simmering anger? He would need to speak with Canderous later to get to the bottom of it, but that had to wait for another time.
"Bah, suit yourself," Canderous grunted and turned to leave, walking towards the garage where he had his makeshift bed located. "I'm exhausted from carrying your little princess along the entire length of the settlement's walls. I'll be in the garage if you need anything."
Kael's focused his eyes back on HK, struggling to warm up to the droid as opposed to Canderous who seemed to treat their new companion as if it was an old friend. As much as he wanted to simply shoo HK away for his own peace of mind, he knew that had HK been insincere about his loyalties, he could've simply slaughtered them all back at the Exchange hideout.
"So, HK, let's get right down to it," he crossed his arms and looked at the droid in a cool, detached way. "Tell me exactly why it is that you need a new master, and also why you chose me of all people?"
"Explanation: Quite simply put, master, I am far too dangerous to be granted complete autonomy. My original master and creator programmed me as such. Due to my advanced cognitive, combat and assassination protocols, I am hardcoded to remain loyal to none but a single master, and to follow to the letter whatever he or she commands of me. To grant me autonomy and free will would be…how should I say it…disastrous."
"'Disastrous'? Are you really that dangerous a droid?"
"Haughty answer: Of course, master. If I may be so brutally honest, do you not recall how I single-handedly incapacitated you despite your Jedi powers? To allow a droid of my capability to reign free in the world would be most destructive indeed. Knowing this, my original master personally saw to it that I do not ever have the ability or desire to remain without a master."
"Just where and by whom were you created? Just who could design something like you?" Kael narrowed his eyes in awe, examining HK's flawless design and deadly arsenal of weapons concealed beneath his arm compartment.
"Answer: I am afraid that that information is classified, master. None but my original master and a few in his inner circle may know that I belong to him."
"But if your original master is dead, then what does it matter whether you reveal his identity or not?" Kael crossed his arms.
"Definite answer: It is not for me to decide, master. I am both duty-bound and hardcoded to never reveal that information."
Seeing that it was pointless to begin an interrogation, Kael exhaled before changing the subject. "Then let's get back to the second part of my original question. Why did you choose me as your master? Why did you deem me to be 'worthy'?"
"Explanation: That is simple, master. You were the only meatbag in my memory core who has ever managed to be attacked by me and survive for more than twenty seconds. My programming further dictates that I make a judgement on my new master on the basis of resourcefulness, cunning, personal restraint and ability. As you have satisfied all criteria, you are to be my new master. Gleeful remark: Congratulations, if I may say."
"But…are you sure about your choice?" Kael sighed uneasily. "Don't you think you've rushed that decision? Believe me when I say that Elena, Bastila and Juhani are much more skilled than me at the Jedi arts. Elena also far outweighs me in personal restraint and ability. If anyone, I'd prefer you serve and protect her instead of me. In fact, I want you to protect all members of our party, especially Mission."
"Inappropriate laughter: Protect? Hahahaha! Are you serious, master? I am an assassin unit, not a bodyguard." HK bellowed aloud.
Kael answered with a dead-serious tone which matched the look of his eyes. "Didn't you say that you were programmed to follow to the letter whatever order I give you?"
"Answer: Yes, master, I did."
"Then do so. Protect Mission. I don't want her to ever be hurt like that again."
"Commentary: Despite this petty and rather tedious assignment you've given me, master, you are proving yourself to be a most stern, and dare I say, possibly threatening meatbag at your core. I like it, master. Very much indeed."
"That's all for tonight. I want you to stand guard right at the loading ramp for the night. If you hear even the slightest scratching of a fingernail against the ship's surface from the outside, you are to alert us. Understood?"
"Statement: Of course, master, HK-47 is here to serve," the droid replied with a nod of confirmation before moving to begin his first duty under his new master.
Seeing HK leave, Kael couldn't help but shudder when he looked at his new companion's right arm which sported armaments of all kinds, and probably held more secret weapons he had yet to see. Furthermore, he sighed as he realized that the road ahead would be just the same – shrouded in uncertainty and bristling with danger. He cursed inwardly, wishing that he could simply drop Mission, Audrey and Zaalbar off on a peaceful planet as Naboo along with Carth, who had seen enough of war and deserved peace and quiet more than anyone else he knew. He clenched his fist, remembering all the times he had failed to protect those he cared about.
Elena being subdued by Black Vulkars on Taris…Mission from being wounded by kath hounds on Dantooine…and again tonight, tortured by the Exchange…
Why couldn't I protect them? He thought to himself, gritting his teeth as he slammed his palm against the metallic wall. Why am I still so weak? I have to grow stronger. Stronger, so that I can protect them…Stronger so that I can end this damned war…Strong enough to defeat Malak with my own hands. Strong enough to—
He stopped. Remembering the words he exchanged not long ago with Juhani, he stood upright and took a deep breath in and out, soothing his nerves and emptying his mind of anger. Resolving to stay true to his promise, he walked out the cargo hold and towards the starboard dorm to check again on Mission.
"For the love of—!" a sharp gasp came from the medical bay entrance which suddenly slid open. Walking over to see what the commotion was about, Kael saw a shocked Bastila gasping and panting in front of HK who loomed over her, looking at her with uninterested eyes. T3 rolled away quickly towards the communications room, having learned to become fearful of Bastila's temper.
"Statement: For a Jedi, I must say that your perceptions are most dull indeed," HK mocked openly.
"Why the bloody hell are you skulking around so quietly? Get away from here!" Bastila ordered angrily, pointing straight at the main hold.
"Statement: The master has ordered me to keep watch in front of the loading ramp. I was simply en route to my destination to carry out my orders."
"Fine, fine, go then," Bastila sighed, waving her hand in the direction of the ramp, her slouching stance and tone of voice giving away that she was dead-tired from tending to Audrey. "And don't walk around so…so quietly like that when inside the ship!"
"Explanation: I am afraid that's impossible, meatbag. My programming dictates that I do not make a sound when moving, even in times of calm. In case you are interested, I also possess excellent hearing…"
"Bah, enough. Go, quickly," Bastila muttered grumpily, shaking her head in frustration.
After ensuring that HK was out of sight, Kael spoke to Bastila. "How's Audrey doing? Is she gonna be fine?"
"Yes, thankfully. She's suffered quite a bit of blood loss, but will be able to make a full recovery in due time," Bastila sighed and peered back at the sleeping woman who was being looked after by Elena. The Jedi Knight simply sat beside the bed, unmoving as she looked down with what seemed to be regret in her eyes.
"Great work, both of you. I'm sure Carth will be very happy once he learns that she's ok," Kael smiled at Bastila who blushed slightly. Modest and humble on the outside, Bastila secretly relished in praise, a characteristic she had ever since her childhood years. Her knees trembled slightly, prompting Kael to ask further. "Are you feeling alright, Bastila? You don't look too well."
"I'm…tired, Kael," she admitted. "That shock attack from Calo Nord is still lingering inside me. I need rest. By the way, how's Mission?"
"I managed to heal her with Juhani's help. She needs to stay in bed for quite some time – she's got mild hypothermia and is probably fairly ill. But Bastila, are you sure you're okay to walk to the dorm on your own?" he held out his hand and supported her up by the arm. She smiled at his generosity, something which she always appreciated. "Not only were you hit by that stun ray, you must be exhausted from healing Audrey."
She stayed still for a moment, relishing in his tender touch. Eerie shivers ran up and down her arms as she let out the quietest of coos, not wanting to let go for a second.
So this is what it feels like, she realized, taking in the sensation and ensuring that it would be remembered well. This is the touch she had the privilege of experiencing all those years. The tenderness, the kindness, the warmth…the absolute loyalty and devotion. Yes…yes, I could get used to this. Very much indeed…
"I…I'll be fine, I insist," she stuttered back and blinked rapidly, subconsciously berating herself for even having such thoughts. "I'll be able to make it back on my own. Thank you." She followed through by taking one delicate step after another towards the portside dorm where Juhani was resting. But with every slow step she took, the deeper her angst, regret and longing became, until she could no longer take any more, trudging rapidly off once she reached the main hold.
Initially piqued by Bastila's strange behavior, Kael eventually shrugged it off as an effort to be tough on her part, then slowly walked over to Elena's side. He knelt beside her and looked at Audrey who was covered neck-down in a warm blanket. Her skin was pale, much paler than usual due to the moderate blood loss, especially her lips which were borderline ice-blue. Her breaths were weak, yet consistent, and her eyelids twitched occasionally with signs of visible stress.
"She's very weak at the moment. Hopefully she'll be better by morning," Elena said. She got up onto her feet and led Kael out of the medical bay to give Audrey peace and quiet, leaving the door open. As she walked rightward at the corridor and towards the cargo hold, she looked at him with a small smile. "How did you go with healing Mission?"
"It went…great, actually," he replied. "All of a sudden I started to heal her confidently by myself after learning a few points from Juhani. It felt strange, though."
"Strange? How?"
"It felt as if I was just reacquainting myself with a process that had gone rusty from a lack of use, rather than learning a completely new concept." He held his forehead for a moment, trying to ponder just what the reason for his rapid learning might be. Unable to come up with an answer by himself, he shrugged it off and continued. "Bah. Don't mind me. It's probably just the theoretical lessons you ran me through in the academy that are creeping back."
"You always were a quick learner," Elena remarked and sat down on a small crate inside the cargo hold. "I have to commend you for what you've done tonight. If it weren't for you and Juhani, I don't know what would've happened."
"Don't say that," Kael shook his head modestly and took his place beside her. "You would've made it just fine without me. Compared to you, I'm still a passenger with my lackluster skills as a Jedi."
"Don't be so down on yourself, Kael," she said firmly, holding her hand over his wrist. "You're a great Jedi and there's still plenty of time for you to learn."
"I'm serious, Elena," he said, his eyes reinforcing his point. "I've made so many mistakes up to this point, ever since our crash landing on Taris. I've put you and the others in danger when I acted rashly on my own accord, and have also ended up regretting not doing more to speak up when I saw potential problems arise. I don't know, I…I just feel as if so much of the trouble we've encountered so far could've been avoided had I only acted differently and listened more to you and the others."
"Listen to me, Kael," Elena sighed, raising her hands to cup his cheeks so that he looked straight into her eyes. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. No matter what you may think you should have done differently in all of those trials that we faced, take heart at the fact that we're all safe and sound now. You're not the only one who's made mistakes, Kael. As long as we all strive to learn from our past mistakes and work together as a team, we'll be fine, trust me."
"How do you know that?" Kael exhaled, his sense of optimism still in the dumps. "After Mission was first hurt by the kath hounds, I swore to myself that I'd never let anything like that happen to her ever again. And now…I don't know if I can protect her. Anyone, for that matter."
"Oh, Kael," Elena chuckled, lowering her hands to hold his. "Always trying to be a superhero. You should know by now that even the most powerful of Masters don't try to do what you're constantly pushing yourself to accomplish. Mission was hurt today and in the cave on Dantooine not because you were too weak, but simply because we let down our guard as a group. Don't think that you have to be a knight in shining armor all the time. Trust in us all, and things will turn out for the best. I truly do believe that."
"Still…I don't know," Kael sighed, his shoulder slumping as he looked away.
"Kael," she said softly, shifting closer by his side and holding him tenderly by the sides of his arms. "I really want you to trust in us. We'll all be there to support you – especially me. I want you to know that I'll always be there for you, not only because I'm your Jedi tutor, but also because…," she went silent, fearing that she would be overheard by HK's razor-sharp hearing. She leaned forward and placed her lips barely inches away from Kael's ear before whispering almost inaudibly. "Because I love you."
"I love you too, Elena," he whispered back, managing a brief and small smile before his frown returned to his lips. "But…I think you misunderstand why I'm not confident about the future."
"Why is that?"
"Do you remember it? The vision we shared while we were on our way to free Mission?"
"Oh…," she exhaled and shuddered slightly. "That…"
"I'm worried, Elena. If all the visions I've had so far about Revan and Malak were true events that took place in the past, then how can I be sure that that one vision isn't something that's bound to happen in the future?"
"…" Elena could give no answer. Not when her heart was suddenly beginning to pound and the blood rushed up to her brain, forming a painful headache that made it impossible to decide what to say to him next.
"Elena, I'm worried," he admitted, placing his hands on her shoulders. "I want to do everything in my power to avoid such an outcome, but I can't just ignore this terrible feeling in my gut. If that vision does indeed come to pass, then what's going to happen to me? To us?"
There was nothing else for it. Seeing that there was no other way, Elena sighed deeply before looking at him straight in the eyes and giving him the blunt and honest truth.
"Kael, I…I have a confession to make."
A/N: Sorry for the huge wait since the last chapter. Work leaves me with little energy at night nowadays, but I eventually managed to churn this chapter out bit by bit.
Hope you all have a safe and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!