During a freezing cold night a tiny freckled girl did her best to counter the icy chill which winter brought by huddling into what little warmth her rag-like clothes brought her as she stood amongst a crowd of orphans.
Life inside an internment zone is very hard, her parents were killed by those Marleyans and this tiny orphanage doesn't give her enough to eat and drink so when winter comes around some of them will die from the cold, she doesn't remember her name and she has no friends so that must mean that she doesn't have one. She really wants a name, all these other children around her aren't any better off than her but at least they have names. She truly has nothing.
She'd like to think that someone would adopt her and she wouldn't have to go hungry every night but even in her young age she's smart enough to know how unlikely that is. The slums of the internment zones are so poor that none of the children here get adopted, there simply isn't enough funding to feed every child here every night. It's work for your meal or die, steal or be stolen from, fight for scraps or starve. Other children are constantly dropping like flies to be left in the streets and rot away.
However this is one of the rare occasions where somebody is actually looking for a child to buy off of the orphanage. She was among a group of children who the caretaker of their orphanage deemed presentable enough to try and sell off and so she stood against a wall with her head hung down as she closely examined the cobblestone roads of the internment zone.
The orphanages caretaker stood besides the man who was looking to buy a child. He flashed a torch over the group of five orphans to examine their faces for the purpose of seeing which child looked the least ragged.
He stopped and held the torch over Ymir's face which caused her to look up from the cobblestone floor with an empty look on her face. Part of her was afraid to be under the eye of an adult but the other was curious to see what exactly he wanted.
He kneeled down so that he was on eye level with her and pointed before turning to the caretaker and asking." How much for this one?"
And that was how Ymir got her name.
Ymir- that's her name now- played with the collar of the strange new outfit she was made to wear by the man who took her in with a blank look on her face. What she was wearing was much more comfortable than the rags she adorned whilst in that orphanage.
Ymir looked around the brightly lit room she currently resided in. The walls were smooth stone, unlike the mouldy wood which was slowly rotting away at the orphanage, the lights above were so bright and the room was warm even though it was winter. She really liked her new home.
The man who bought her turned his gaze to Ymir and flatly said." Go sit on that chair, and don't get back up until we tell you. Understand."
His words were really mean and strict but he gave her nice clothes so she silently complied and sat herself down on the strange wooden chair. It wasn't very comfortable but she was used to discomfort so she saw no reason to complain.
Soon people began to pool into the strange room, it started one by one and all she did was watch with a blank expression and they looked back at her with looks that were akin to curiosity and worship. She didn't really know what to do with so many people staring at her like that and was going to ask the kind man who adopted her what they were doing but she was cut off when he started speaking to the people who were crowding in front of her.
"This girl has the goddess Ymir's blood running through her veins. As long as Ymir is with us we'll be blessed with immortality and eternal youth."
Ymir wasn't sure what he was talking about or what immortality was and was about to correct him but-
Suddenly the crowd started clapping and gasping in awe. Ymir looked around with her blank look slightly fading. They all looked so happy just because she sat there and did nothing. Their eyes were full of joy and happiness and she was the cause of it.
That was the moment she started to slip.
The freckled girl's face morphed from an emotionless one to a joyful one as she basked in the attention she was receiving.
Whilst all their attention was on the little girl the man in charge of the newly established cult smirked slyly before he slipped his mask of goodwill on and held out a basket before explaining." The goddess's powers only work on those who pay the church of Ymir. Place a donation inside the box if you want to receive the blessings of our goddess."
Ymir saw this but willingly ignored it in favour of enjoying both the attention and happy looks of those around her.
Her life changed a lot at that point.
After she got used to the weirdness of her new lifestyle she quickly came to enjoy it. Her food was actually warm and she never slept with an empty stomach like she did before. Her bed was comfortable and she had it all to herself.
She soon learned to love the silk robes which she would adorn later once the man who adopted her had made enough money off the exploitation of fellow Eldians. She was the goddess and figurehead of the cult which someone else created. She couldn't say she was entirely oblivious to this fact because the truth was that she loved what she did. She loved the attention which she received, the luxury clothes she was gifted and the warm food she ate because of her acts, she relished on the thought of being needed by someone else.
But that didn't last forever.
"Lady Ymir." The cult changed in those years and several rows of devoted followers dressed in light blue robes stared at her with worship before getting on their hands and knees and bowing down to her.
Ymir felt a strange swell in her chest as she looked around and counted all of the people who were bowing down to her inside of her head and took a strange sense of pleasure from the sight.
That was when she learned an important life lesson-
The door was suddenly kicked down as several Marleyan officers ran inside the room." Take them all down!"
-that seeing the world through a veil is asking for the world to knock your ass down a couple pegs.
One of her followers got up from their knees and merely looked at the gun boredly with a smirk on his face." You truly believe that those puny things can harm someone blessed by the god-"
'Bang'
The sound of a bullet being fired resonated through the hall and for a moment all was still... until the foolish man who spoke up fell backwards-
With a bleeding hole in his forehead.
Several of the other people dressed in robes began screaming in horror as the Marleyans walked past the dead body with callous looks on their faces- like they truly had no care that they just took a mans life- and began to violently and forcefully use excessive force to subjugate the Eldians who worshipped her.
Meanwhile all she could do was stand with a horrified look on her face as the people around her seemed to look at her for strength she didn't have, like she would solve all their problems for her. But she did absolutely nothing. She was just as powerless as them.
"She did it!" Ymir whipped her head around and stared in in horror as the man she considered to be her father pointed at her with a desperate and cowardly look on his face. He wore extremely fine clothes that of an even higher quality than her own, in all the years he'd spent exploiting those gullible bastards he'd made more than just a pretty penny that's for sure.
He sweated as a few of the Marleyan officers pointed guns at them as the rest kept a watchful and hateful eye on the other followers who didn't dare move an inch in fear of being shot." She told us she had the blood of the king! All we did was believe her! She's the one to blame here!"
At that moment as the man she thought cared about her sold her out to the Marleyans in a vain attempt to save his own life she was reminded of something. Something which she forgot. That her entire life was one huge lie, that she could fool everyone she wanted, herself included, but the truth always comes out. You reap what you sew.
Yet in that moment she wanted so badly for everything to be real that she just couldn't help herself and-
A Marleyan guard pointed a gun right in her face and asked with a cold expression." Is that right?"
She wanted so badly to say no but looking past the guns and into the eyes of her followers- who still clinged onto the belief that she was actually a goddess- who shook their heads, as though they were motioning for her to say no, she couldn't help but feel a huge amount of unfounded responsibility for them. So instead of doing the thing that would benefit her she did the opposite.
"Yes it's true. I am Ymir! The blood of the kings runs through me!"
She tried to take the blame. What a mistake that was.
"Move bitch!" She was harshly shoved along with her Eldian followers in a linked chain as fist sized rocks rained down on her. They hurt so much and her dress soon became drenched in red, her head suddenly started ringing when a particularly big rock smacked her forehead and drowned out the screams of hatred from both Marleyans and her fellow Eldians.
The pain was immense but what hurt even more was the confusion and despair she felt at the realisation that her confession didn't matter. All of her followers were right besides her and being shipped off to Paradis just like she was. Wasn't she supposed to be their protector? Their goddess? So why wasn't she able to protect them?!
What did she do to deserve this?
After days with no food or water they finally reached the island where they would meet their end.
They exited the boat with that same steel link connecting all of them and they hardly had enough energy to push themselves forward. So the Marleyans decided to help them.
A child in the group started to break down from the pain of both hunger and the painful itch that having you hands bound by steel binds brings. The child was a girl couldn't have been older than seven. She would meet her end here on this island without reaching the double digits of her life.
One of the Marleyan officers, a woman, harshly kicked the girls side and demanded." Alright get up you Eldian swine. You aren't going to turn yourselves into Titans are ya?"
The little girl however would not stop crying on the floor, she was just so hungry and so tired and so thirsty and she wanted her mummy-
'Bang!'
Several Eldians on board were shocked awake in horror as the little girl was shot through the head with her eyes going blank and her blonde hair being stained scarlet as the officer unclipped her hands without a care and just tossed her over the side of the port.
However the other Marleyans were not amused." Dammit Olivia! Will you stop murdering those things! The more Titans between us and those island devils the better!"
The female officer just rolled her eyes, as though he just told a joke, and she once more tugged on the chain and an officer guarding them from the back hit the closest Eldian he could find with the back of his gun to get them moving.
Ymir however was horrified by what she just witnessed and stared over the edge of the port and into the usually clear blue ocean water which was stained red as the little girls corpse floated with only her back being shown. It just didn't make sense to her, since when was the world so-
"Move." Ymir yelped in pain as her back was hit once again to get her moving.
She climbed up the white stone steps until she stood on top of the wall and was forced to kneel down and was greeted by... a strangely beautiful sight.
It was just sand dunes as far as the eye could see, completely untouched by humanity, that faded into the horizon. It was a pretty sight, had she been here under other circumstances then she'd be able to actually enjoy the view.
But life never lets the good moments last.
"Lady Ymir." At those words she'd grown to hate she was greeted by the sight of one of her most devoted followers, a woman with short blonde hair and a bloody face.
She pleaded with the teenager right next to her." Please Lady Ymir! Save me- argh." She was cut off by a needle which brutally pierced her neck.
"Shut up." A Marleyan officer complained as he pumped some strange fluid into the neck of the blonde woman who seemed to scream out in pain and was promptly kicked off the edge the next moment.
Throughout this entire exchange Ymir just had a look of horror on her face at the realisation of how helpless she really was. All of these people who followed and believed in her were about to be turned into monsters and there was nothing she could do to stop it.
But still even in her powerless position, even when the woman next to her had already been turned into one of those things, she still pleaded for mercy.
"No please stop! I'm begging yo-" she was cut off when a needle pierced her neck in the same fashion as the other woman and pure fear seemed to flow through her when she realised what was about to happen to her.
A boot to her back was enough to send her falling off the room as a massive surge of pain flashed through her chest.
That's when she realised-
In a flash of lightning a five meter Titan formed at the foot of the wall.
That this was all her fault.
Ymir felt a massive surge of pain when a flashback of her past was shown through her eyes. She felt pleasure from the sensation of both her tongue battling with Eren's and pain from her past being shown once more through her memories.
It was all too much for her and she quickly cut the smooch off, much to the confusion of Eren, and placed her back against the wall of the hallway before sliding down and sinking her head between her knees.
Eren saw this and was greatly confused by her actions of breaking off their kiss. When he saw her out of character behaviour he could tell that something must have happened to her when their lips met.
"Ymir are you-" he was cut off when he heard a strange sound coming from the girl in front of him. It sounded almost like a hiccup but... wetter?
After putting his own back against the wall and sliding down next to Ymir he took a glance at the freckled girls eyes and saw something that surprised him.
Ymir was crying.
However Ymir herself tried to wipe them away, as to appear less weak in front of her new boyfriend, but had little success at putting a halt to the ongoing march of emotions which were pulling at her heart strings and so in the end just accepted her fate and let her tears out.
Seeing Ymir act so emotional was a little uncomfortable for Eren, usually she has an uninterested or outright rude expression on her face so seeing such raw emotion out of her is... well strange.
He thinks about what he could possibly say to comfort her but realised that she probably didn't want him to pry so in the end he just sits there. With Ymir right next to him. In a hallway. Where anyone could walk by at any time.
Eren doesn't know how long he sat there but he didn't really care, his duties as a soldier could wait, helping his girlfriend can't. If she needs him to be a silent shoulder to cry next to then that's what he'll be, if she wants to start talking then she'll do it in her own time. Patience in key.
After a large amount of time of Ymir just crying in this destitute hallway she finally cracks her poofy red eyes up from her knees and glances at the boy besides her who was staring at her as though he wanted to hear the reasons for her very sudden actions.
Ymir tries to brush off the fact that she just broke down by making a joke and trying to smirk." Geez Eren, why are you staring at me like that you pervert, if you wanna do it then just ask." Her half hearted teasing goes completely ignored by Eren who just sits there and she doesn't even need to look at him to know that he wants to know the reasons for her sobbing and weeping.
After a few awkward moments of silence Ymir finally drops her pathetic act with a sigh and once again seems to hide her incoming tears within the safety of her legs." I just remembered something that's all."
Eren gains a sympathetic look at that and quickly realises that she must have relived her past when they kissed and instead of giving away that he knows he merely states." If you want to talk then you should know that I won't judge."
Hearing that sentimental bullshit Ymir gritted her teeth and bitterly spoke." That's what everyone says, I won't fall for-"
"I killed three men when I was nine." My sudden words cut Ymir off before she could get the idea that I was going to judge her for her past actions.
Ymir stared up a little from her knees at that and I sighed before explaining." When I was nine Mikasa was kidnapped by sex traffickers, they killed both her parents and were planning on selling her off for being Oriental. I was going to visit them at the time and seeing what happened I hunted them down and killed them all. I don't feel guilt about it nor are any of my nightmares about what I did to them."
That was... a half-truth. Whilst I can't remember the event very well, given that was before I took control of this body, but I remember the emotions that I felt when it happened. My rage, anger, hatred. No matter what I do those feelings are tied to who I am. I am not Eren Yeager but I am Eren Yeager. The devil, a possible mass murderer and... a caring friend and boyfriend. Which is why I shared what I did as a child to her, maybe it won't do a thing but-
"In Marley they worshipped me as a goddess." Ymir's mouth moved before she had a chance to think yet she couldn't stop herself from pouring her heart out to a boy who she got close to. She isn't like this, she doesn't give her heart to others- besides the ones she loves- so why-
"As a child some man picked me up, some orphan with no name, I was the prettiest one he could find apparently and when he adopted me he gave me the first name I ever had... Ymir." Her eyes started to water once again yet she just couldn't stop." At first it all seemed so good, the people around me were happy and I wasn't fighting for scraps anymore, my bed was comfy and I got to wear nice clothes, it all just seemed so convenient for me. So I fell for my own act and fooled myself into thinking that I was needed somewhere, and for a while it was nice you know. People bowed down to me and called me 'Lady Ymir' like I was a goddess, the Founder of all the Eldians. Like I was a saviour. The guy who adopted me would spout bullshit at their faces all day and they just ate it all up like the gullible bastards they were-"
Tears were streaming down Ymir's face as she recalled what happened next and Eren shuffled closer so that Ymir could cry into his shoulder. Ymir noted how warm it was, that her body and muscles seemed to untense whilst in his embrace so instead of holding back she doubles down on crying and pushes herself into his side as she continues.
"But then we were caught and they- they all looked at me to try and save, like I was actually the goddess I pretended to be and I... I did nothing. I realised that everything I based my life on was a lie, Eren, it was all just bullshit that I fed myself to pretend that I was important, that I mattered in the grand scale of things. But no. That's not true. In the end I wasn't strong enough to save anyone, not even myself, I wasn't strong enough to accept that I wasn't important and I could do nothing but beg as they turned me into a monster! All I am is some broken girl with this power I can't use and I can't do anything but cry into one of the people that I love-"
She stopped her crying momentarily when she realised what she just said and pulled away from the green eyed boy almost instantly whilst he just looked at her with surprise on his face.
Ymir gives the rare sight of her blushing when she went over what she just said but turns her head away from him and feels a large amount of embarrassment. What kind of idiot would love a selfish girl like her?
She moves her legs to get up, to leave Eren alone and find somewhere to cry on her loneso-
Eren suddenly grabs her chin and takes her lips once again with his arms wrapping around her torso to prevent her from getting up and leaving.
Ymir is surprised by the act but quickly gets over her shock and finds herself returning the kiss.
After a moment of heat her pulls away and looks her in the eye before saying." I don't care what you did or what Marley did to you Ymir, you are important to me and whatever it is you do or have problems with I will protect you from it. If you need help with anything then I'll lend a helping, if you need a shoulder to cry on then cry on me, if you need to get something off your chest then talk to me. You can tell me anything Ymir because... I love you too."
Ymir actually feels herself blush scarlet at his heartfelt words and for the first time in years feels bashful towards the boy in front of her. She tries to joke it off." Jeez Eren, how corny can you ge- mmmph." She yelps in surprise as he once again takes her by the lips but this time there's something primal about the way he's doing it. His tongue enters her mouth and seems to examine every inch of it and mark saliva inside her mouth as she moans and then their tongues seem to dance together as saliva is exchanged and Ymir finds herself loosing the battle of pleasure but she likes it.
When they finally break off Ymir is feeling worn out already, she's kissed Historia before but that was a lot more heated than anything they've done together, and she wants to do more.
Ymir brings her lips up to Eren's ear and whispers in a sultry tone." Lets take this somewhere more private.
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