Paul

After we returned from the Cullen's house, I said goodnight to Sam and Jared and left. I walked down to first beach and sat staring at the waves as they crashed into the shore. I was torn between loving and hating Rosalie. Seeing her get out of Bella's truck with Embry ripped me apart. I should have been there for her when they came up on Laurent. I should have been the one that saved her life, not him. I had told Sam on the way to take it easier on Embry, but I damn sure didn't want him or Rose to know. A part of me was grateful that he saved her, but a bigger part of me was angry that he hadn't even told me she was in danger.

I couldn't blame Embry for not wanting me to know. I couldn't even blame him for wanting to talk to her. She's perfect. He had been so angry at me this morning. I woke up and told Emily not to let Rosalie in and that I didn't want her around. I twisted the story of what happened to make it sound worse than it was. I hated her for not telling me she was married, and in that moment I wanted everyone else to hate her too. I knew I'd have to apologize to Emily for manipulating her like that, and I knew Sam would probably break my nose when he found out what I did. I should have asked Rosalie if she was married and heard her out, but we were past that now.

When I left Sam's house to find someone to take my mind off of Rosalie, Embry had followed me out.

"You lied to Emily, didn't you?" He asked me.

I shoved him. "You need to learn when to mind your business, pup. I didn't lie about a damn thing." How did he know I was lying?

"I know you did. You didn't ask Rosalie if she was married, you heard it from that leech when he was trying to torment you. Rosalie risked her life to save our asses and you made Emily do that to her. What the hell is wrong with you? She held your hand last night, did she have a ring on? Classy girl like Rosalie, I'm sure if she was happily married there would be a giant rock on her finger." Fuck. He was right. She wasn't wearing a ring.

I still wouldn't give him the satisfaction of being right. "Right, she'd be sure to wear her ring while she's on her way to fuck with me. Maybe they're in a fight, but she's married. You saw how she acted when Emily called her out. I'm not going to stand back and be manipulated by a bloodsucker that's fucking married. You want to, be my guest." I left him standing there and didn't give him time to say another word.

I had basically told him to pursue her. I didn't ever expect that he would. He hadn't left me alone long enough, or so I had thought. I ran in to a whore from Forks later that morning, Lauren Mallory. I thought I had lost Embry when I approached her. I knew I couldn't sleep with her, but I wanted to forget about Rosalie for a little while. We got in her car and drove out toward the beach. We climbed in her back seat and before anything had really started, Embry was knocking on her window.

"Do you know who this is?" She asked me, trying to jerk her shirt back on so Embry wouldn't see anything.

I nodded. "Roll the window down." She laid my shirt across her chest to cover herself up and rolled the window down that he was knocking on.

"Do you know that Paul is engaged?" He asked her.

She dropped my shirt, exposing her naked chest to Embry, and slapped me hard across the face. "Who the fuck are you engaged to?" She asked me.

"Rosalie Hale." Embry answered.

The panic was evident on her face. "Get the hell out of my car, Rosalie will kill me. You better not tell her that we spoke, and if you do, make sure she knows that I didn't know about you two." She seemed more terrified of Rosalie than angry at me. I nodded and got out of her car, leaving my shirt behind.

"You're a fucking idiot." Embry told me as we walked away from her car. "You need to go talk to Rosalie and hear her side of the story."

"It's not gonna happen, kid. Stay the hell out of it and don't bother Rosalie with this shit."

I had taken Embry's persistence to mean that he cared about me as his pack brother, but maybe it was Rosalie he was interested in the entire time. He had stayed behind at her house with the rest of her bloodsucking family. I would have expected him to chase after Jacob after his argument with Bella, but he chose Rosalie over his best friend. Or maybe he had stayed behind because Bella was there. Was I taking this the wrong way? Maybe he wasn't chasing my imprint after all. I thought about going to talk to her, but I couldn't. Not after all of the things I'd said about her. Jasper was right, I could feel her emotions. That was how I knew even now that she was in pain. Pain that I could stop, but I wouldn't.

I sat on the beach for a little longer when I decided to go up to the cliffs. It wasn't particularly warm, but cliff diving gave me something to do to clear my head. It was a hell of an adrenaline rush. When I got to the top, I walked to the ledge and took my shoes off. I would jump in my shorts, but I hated getting my shoes or socks wet. It wasn't a long jog back up to get them anyway. I was about to jump when I heard someone behind me.

"Paul Lahote" the voice beckoned. "Fancy seeing you up here, and not out with your fellow gang members." I knew before I turned around who I would see. Leah Clearwater.

Leah had been one of my best friends when we were younger, but now she couldn't stand me. After Sam had imprinted on Emily, she expected me to turn on them and she didn't understand why I couldn't. I wanted to be there for her, but I couldn't pretend to hate Sam and Emily for her. I had already phased and I would be seen with Sam. I was honest with Leah and told her that I loved her but that I couldn't get involved in what happened between the two of them. She lashed out at me, telling me that after everything she had done for me she expected me to be on her side. She wasn't wrong to expect that of me, either. I hated that I couldn't do what she wanted, but I stood firm that I was not going to be involved. She told me to get out of her house and we hadn't spoken since that night.

My house is next to the Clearwater's, and they helped me out a lot when I was a kid. My father would come home in drunken fits of rage and abuse me and my mother, but sometimes I could hide long enough for him to pass out and run to get Sue to help my mom. Eventually, my mom told me to stop telling Sue what was going on. Of course, I kept telling her, she just no longer offered my mom any help. When my mom finally left and I was alone with my dad, Harry and Sue became my surrogate parents. I would sneak out of my room at night and in to Leah's. When things would start to get bad, I would lock my bedroom door and run to Leah's window. Harry eventually gave me a key so I could just use the front door. I hadn't seen Harry, Sue, Leah, or Seth since the night that Leah told me to leave. They were my family, and it hurt for them to treat me that way, but I didn't blame any of them.

"LeeLee" I responded smiling at her. "It's been too long." I ran to her and hugged her before she could protest. I could smell the alcohol on her body. She was drunk.

She finally pushed away from me. "Sam give you the night off? No gang activities for you to take part in?" She was slurring her words. I needed to get her home.

"I told you we aren't in a gang, Leah. We're doing some work for the council." That wasn't actually a lie, if you thought about it. We weren't a gang, we were a pack and the council oversees the pack.

She fell back into me. "Why aren't you with him my whore cousin at MY cabin tonight?" That was the part that cut her the deepest. She had been engaged to Sam when he imprinted and the house he shares with Emily used to be shared with her.

She started crying and I pulled her to me. We sat on the edge of the cliff like that for over an hour, not speaking. She had a bottle with her and kept drinking the entire time. Rosalie was always on my mind, but part of me wished I had imprinted on Leah. Everything would have been so easy for us. We laid back in the grass and dozed off in each other's arms, the same way we had many nights when we were kids. Things had always been platonic between the two of us, so there wasn't anything unusual about what we were doing. I just hoped Sam didn't find us here.

I woke up to someone shaking me and was relieved to see it was Jared. I laid Leah down on the ground without waking her before following him down the cliff far enough away that we wouldn't disturb her. "What the hell do you want?" I asked him.

"I was coming to see how you were, I didn't expect to see you cozy with Clearwater while Embry is over at Rosalie's." He scoffed.

I glared at him. "Watch it, you know how things are between us. I haven't seen Leah in months. I knew Embry was at Rosalie's, he stayed behind. You didn't have to come all the way over here to tell me that."

"No, he was at the Cullen's home. Now he's getting cozy at Rosalie's cabin with her for the night." I felt my blood boiling. Rosalie was going to act like she was hurt that I didn't want her and then sleep with my pack brother? "If you don't believe me, we can go over there and you can see for yourself. I'm sure Leah will be here when we get back."

I knew I shouldn't have, but I ran over with Jared. The run from the beach to Rosalie's house should have been a lot longer but I was too angry to run at a normal pace. We got there just in time to see Rosalie showing Embry where her bathroom was and making the bed in her bedroom for him. She doesn't sleep, so why the hell did she even have a bed? Was she actually going to fuck him tonight? I couldn't believe my eyes. I heard the water turn on in the shower and Rosalie started to walk toward the door, so we ran. Jared was silent as my thoughts raced. To think that I had felt badly about how I treated both of them earlier. She kept showing me that she wasn't right for me, and I only fought it because the imprint told me I should.

"Jared, tell Sam that I'm staying at my house tonight. I'll see you guys in the morning." I phased out before he could respond and ran back to Leah.

She was still sleeping on the cliff when I got there. I looked over to the bottle sitting next to her. It was still well over half full. I picked it up and drank as much as I could stand. It takes a lot to get a wolf drunk, but I was hell bent on forgetting Rosalie for tonight at least. I shook Leah awake.

"Hey, do you want to go back to your house? This cliff won't be too comfortable by morning." I asked her.

She snuggled against my chest. "Will you carry me to my car at least?"

"Of course I will." I told her. "I'll even drive us."

Her car wasn't far from us and I was appalled when I got in. There were empty liquor bottles everywhere. Harry was best friends with Chief Swan and I couldn't believe she would take a chance on him finding her with open bottles in here. I laid her down in the seat and drove us to her house. It was going to feel so strange seeing her family again after such a long time. I loved them like my own family, but it had been long enough to make for an awkward reunion. Especially with me bringing her home drunk. I decided we'd go back to our childhood and enter her room through the window. I pulled her car in my driveway and noticed she had fallen asleep. I carried her over to her window and realized her bed had been moved right next to her window, which made my job a little more difficult. I slid her window up and gently laid her on her bed before climbing in next to her. I took her jeans off and unhooked and removed her bra from under her shirt. I'd slept in the bed with her quite a few times, and she never wore jeans or a bra to sleep.

I stood up to slip my shoes and shorts off and noticed the many bottles around her bedroom. I knew I was going to have to do something to help her, and I felt terrible for not realizing how badly she was doing. I opened a fifth of something and chugged more than half of it. It tasted awful, but no worse than I felt. Leah slept peacefully while I walked around her room drinking more and more. I was on my second fifth and barely feeling anything when I heard her door knob turning. I froze. What if Leah had a boyfriend, and I was in here half naked with her sleeping in the bed? I was relieved when Seth opened the door. He was essentially my little brother and had seen me completely naked more times that I'd like to admit, so this wouldn't be weird for him.

"Paul?" He asked. "Is that really you?"

I grinned at him. "It's me, kid. I'm back. How are you?" I asked and swung him in to a hug.

"Will you come see mom and dad?" He asked me. "They're up waiting for Leah to get home. I told them I heard something in her room but they didn't believe me and thought I was just covering for her." Seth could hear better? His parents were not old enough to hear that much worse than him. He looked a little taller too..

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. "Of course I can. Let me put my pants back on."

"No, don't. I want them to believe me and they will if you come out as you are." He had a point.

I walked out behind him in nothing but my boxers to see Sue and Harry. They were both sitting at the table with coffee cups in their hands, not even glancing up as Seth re-entered the room.

"Well?" Harry asked, not looking up from the newspaper that laid on the table in front of him. "Didn't find anything, did you? That damn sister of yours is out drunk again bitching about Sam, Emily, and Paul to whoever will listen." Uh oh. Sam and Emily I expected, not me.

I laughed. "I hope she isn't saying anything too bad about me." Both of their heads shot up.

"Paul?" Sue asked. "Oh, I believe it now, of course you'd be in there in your boxers like you're twelve years old again." She laughed.

"So good to see you, son. Even if you don't know how to put a damn pair of pants on." Harry stood up and patted me on the back.

I walked over to hug Sue and she rolled up her newspaper and hit my head with it. "That's for hurting my girl, Lahote." She told me,.

"I promise, I didn't mean to hurt Leah. I work with Sam and I needed to keep the peace, even if I want to rip his head off." I told her. Harry was on the council, so he knew why I couldn't tell Sam how I really felt. He also knew about imprinting.

Seth looked over at me. "If you don't want to be a bad friend to LeeLee anymore, maybe you should just quit."

I laughed at him. "I wish it was that easy, kid. We work for the council, so I can't just quit."

"He's right, Seth." Harry agreed. "You have to keep the obligations you make to your tribe." Seth nodded in response.

The four of us sat around the kitchen table and talked for about an hour. Seth told me about school and all of his friends. He was such a happy, innocent kid. I couldn't believe he was already fourteen. Sue told us about her work at the hospital in Forks and how angry she was that Carlisle was coming back. She was outraged about what his family leaving had done to Bella and was thinking about quitting. I dreaded the day that Sue would find out about me and Rosalie. If anything ever happened, which I wasn't even sure I wanted anymore. Harry finally decided to break up the party and told me I should go check on Leah. I said goodnight to all of them and walked back to her room.

Harry was on the council, so he would find out about my imprint in the next few days. We had council meetings weekly to update them on things that are going on with the pack. We needed to have one sooner after all of the leech attacks we had been through. I had a feeling that Jacob would start sharing information freely with his dad and we wouldn't need formal meetings as often. I dreaded the day that Jacob stepped up as alpha. He'd probably choose Embry as his beta and I'd have to answer to a petulant child and the guy that's probably fucking my imprint.

Leah was still sleeping when I crawled in to bed next to her. I felt terrible about not keeping tabs on my best friend this whole time, but having to lie to her constantly complicated things. She was such a good person, and she didn't deserve the hand she'd been dealt. I was worried about Seth phasing now too, and that was the last thing I wanted for her. Seth had been the only one she could rely on after her favorite cousin moved in with her fiancé and her best friend wouldn't take her side. I didn't want her to lose him to Sam and Emily too.

I tossed and turned for a few hours, not able to sleep peacefully. My mind drifted back to Rosalie. I hated the thought of her being with Embry tonight. I knew that I had said some terrible things to her, but my pack brother? It just felt so wrong. How would I be able to trust her? I was distracted from my thoughts when Leah rolled over and laid her head on my chest. We cuddled all the time as kids, but we hadn't slept in the same bed since her and Sam had started dating. Sue expressed many times that she wanted the two of us to be together, but Leah was always chasing Sam. I hadn't ever even had a chance to think about her that way, because she had never been available. Now, I was the one that should be unavailable. My bond with Rosalie would be forever, whether I wanted it to or not. I finally fell asleep with Leah in my arms.

The next morning, I woke up to a very angry Leah. She was not happy to see me.

"PAUL!" She yelled. "What the fuck are you doing in my bed?"

I chuckled at her. "You asked me to bring you home last night, Lee. You came to the cliffs drunk and found me. I drove you home and I wasn't going to just leave you here alone while you were that wasted."

She slapped her hand over her face. "Please tell me you didn't use the front door." She groaned.

"Of course not. I used the window, just like old times. Your car is in my driveway. I did see the family last night, but only because Seth came in here and found me." She laughed. Seth was too good of a kid for anyone to be too angry with. "Why don't we go to my house and I can make you breakfast?" I offered.

"Well, normally I'd tell you to go fuck yourself and that you can eat your breakfast at Sam's. But I am hungover and insanely hungry, so let's go." She got up, slipped on my shirt from the night before, and started to walk towards her bedroom door.

I stepped in front of her and put my hand on the doorknob. "Um, what do you think you're doing? You always made me climb out your window when I went home in the mornings, we aren't leaving through the door."

"Ugh, just let me go out the door. My parents already know you're here." She could be so stubborn.

I grinned and didn't move from the door. "Nope. You want breakfast, you go out the window."

Leah was many things, but graceful was not one of them. It was comical to watch her struggle with the exit. She lifted the window and sat down on the windowsill with one leg in and one leg out. When she was pulling her other leg out, she lost her balance and fell. Thankfully, her room was on the first floor of her house and it wasn't a long way down. I laughed as I jumped out easily.

"It's not funny, asshole. I'm still a little drunk from last night." She said as she smacked my arm playfully.

I realized once we got in my house that I wouldn't have any food to make since I had been staying at Sam's. My dad had moved out a few months ago and went to live on the Makah reservation with his new girlfriend, so it was just me here. Leah made herself at home and started some coffee while I ran to the store on the reservation in her car. I quickly bought a few things that we needed. Quil was working at the register and he gave me an awful glare as he checked me out. He must have believed we were in a gang too, and now we had taken his two best friends from him. I couldn't help but notice how much taller he had gotten since I'd seen him last. I hoped that he and Seth wouldn't be phasing soon.

When I walked back in my house, Leah was sitting on my couch watching TV and drinking her coffee. She followed me to the kitchen at sat down at the island while I cooked. We made small talk and everything felt normal between us again, but I knew it wouldn't ever last. She told me about her college classes, she was studying nursing. Leah came off as really cold, but she loved helping people. She was so much like Sue that way. I couldn't help but wonder how she kept up with her courses when she was drinking so heavily all the time. Hearing the way Harry had talked about her last night really hurt, because I had always looked at them as an example of what a relationship with your dad should look like. I knew that I would have to find a way to keep in touch with her after this, even if Sam didn't like it.

There was a knock at my door while we were eating. I hadn't been staying here in months, so I wasn't sure who would be coming here.

"Should I get it? I wonder if it's my whore cousin, or maybe my cheating fiancé." I wasn't sure, but I prayed that it was Jared and not either of them. Leah got up and strolled toward the door, still in nothing but my shirt. I kept eating my breakfast, whatever happened was going to just happen at this point.

She opened the door to the face I least expected to see here this morning: Rosalie. She was smiling, but that quickly faded when she saw Leah. Leah turned and gave me a puzzled look before speaking.

"Um, who are you?" She asked. My heart ached, as I'm sure Rosalie's was. This wasn't at all what it looked like, but after what I said to her yesterday there was no way she'd believe I wasn't sleeping with Leah.

"I was looking for Paul." Rosalie told her. She looked down at her feet.

Leah laughed. "I haven't dealt with one of Paul's conquests in a long time. Why don't you girls ever realize he isn't a relationship kind of guy?"

Rosalie nodded. "I thought I was more than that to him, but it's okay. Tell him Rosalie stopped by, if he even cares to know. Emily had asked me to come get him for breakfast, but I'll be sure to tell her and Sam what he's up to this morning."

The anger on Leah's face was undeniable. "Go for it, let that whore cousin of mine know that he's with Leah. And if he cared about you, I think he would've spent last night with you and not me." She slammed the door in Rosalie's face.

"Why the fuck did you do that, Leah? She's going to go to Sam and Emily's and tell them we were together and he'll be over here raising hell in a few minutes." Rosalie was never going to believe nothing had happened after what Leah said. "You need to go home, I have to get to Sam's."

"Really, Paul?" She yelled at me. "You're going to leave me for Sam and some paleface? You didn't tell me you had a fucking girlfriend! You never date anyone, you just fuck around with them until you get bored and move on to the next one. How the fuck was I supposed to know she was different?"

"I was right here, Leah! You could have asked me, you didn't have to make her think we were sleeping together!" I was so angry I was shaking. I had to get away from Leah before I phased.

She started crying. "Whatever, Paul. Just leave me again, that's your signature move isn't it? Things get hard and you give up on people, just like you gave up on BOTH of your parents. How long has it been since you've talked to either of them?" I couldn't do this.

I ran out of the house and only made it to the woods before phasing. I had to get to Sam's house and talk to Rosalie. I couldn't keep avoiding her, and I owed it to her to at least explain that I hadn't been with Leah. Emily would understand, she knew how close we were as kids. The run to Sam's had never felt so long. There was a jeep in the driveway when I got there, it must have belonged to Rosalie. I walked up on the front porch and I could see Rosalie, Embry, Jacob, Jared, Sam, and Emily sitting at the table together. I was nervous around my pack for the very first time. As soon as I walked in the door, everyone turned to look at me. The disgust on Sam and Embry's faces was clear. Emily looked away and Rosalie put her face in her hands.

Sam strolled toward me. "Sam, listen. I can explain everything."

He didn't give me a chance to speak. His fist collided with my face, and I knew that finding my way out of this would be a lot harder than I expected.