Chapter 42
Promises
Canderous stared down at the palm of his hand which held a lock of bluish-black hair tied with a ribbon, accompanied by a paper photograph of a loving family of three. The beaming smile on the woman's face was so innocent, which would have made any stranger mistake her to be an ordinary civilian who never knew the horrors of war. Both items once belonged to Jena, who now entrusted Canderous to find her sister and gift them to her if she could ever be found. The name of the fierce warrior known as Ver'alor Jena Farr was now resigned to history, and in her place, Jena Lars would write a new peaceful beginning as a wife and mother.
Having returned to Anchorhead, the party first made for Helena's apartment again to return to her the body of her husband. The sight of Bastila breaking down and wrapping her arms around her mother the moment the door swung open reminded Canderous that out of all who were traveling in the group, he was the lucky one. All came from broken homes and families, but his immediately family were, to the best of his knowledge, still alive, albeit most likely suffering great hardships back on Mandalore without him.
"Query: What do you find so fascinating about a female meatbag's separated and slowly decomposing hair, if I may ask, armored meatbag?" HK turned his head and asked, disrupting Canderous's thoughts. The two of them stood guard outside Helena's front door, affording Bastila privacy with those closest to her. The corridor of the underground apartment complex was dim, the lighting of the run-down building being barely functional.
"I'm not fondling it out of some weird fetish, if that's what you're getting at, droid," he chuckled. "Don't you every get that feeling? When you look back at how things happened and compare that to how you imagined things would play out at the time?"
"Answer: It is a rare occurrence indeed. I can assert, with a 99.61% confidence interval, that past missions proceeded precisely as I originally planned them. Only in unimaginably rare cases, such as that of just a few nights ago when the Master escaped death at my hand, did I fail in carrying out my undertakings."
"Mfph, trust myself to ask you such a question," Canderous grumbled. "I'm talking about purpose, here. I remember Jena as being one of the most promising warriors in the Mandalorian ranks – young, resourceful, cunning, valiant, you name it. She was one of the few outside my own clan whom I held in high esteem, and thought would make a great commander in her own right in the future. Yet here she is, on a remote planet nobody would bat an eyelash about, content with a simple life as a mother on a moisture farm."
"Commentary: That sounds like a most depressing purpose indeed. If my reasoning is correct, then infant meatbags are highly susceptible to executing bodily processes which I'm more than accustomed to witnessing in my own victims prior to their deaths."
Fighting down the urge to facepalm, Canderous simply muttered further as he shook his head. "You're hopeless…"
-o-
Revan and Elena sat together for the second time on the couch in Helena's living room, the ticking of the wall clock the only audible sound around them. Half an hour had passed since the reconciled mother and daughter retreated into the privacy of the bedroom with the body of Ander, as well as the spare canister of the krayt dragon pearl solution prepared by HK.
"Are you afraid for her?" Elena asked, holding Revan's hand out of instinct. "Bastila, she's…changed. I've always known her to have an assertive, strong spirit, but this?"
"She still wants to do good, Elena," he answered. "As much as she frightened me last night when she spoke about her thoughts while fighting the Tusken, deep down she did what she did because she felt it was necessary to survive. Juhani managed to control and stop herself from murdering Xor; why wouldn't Bastila be able to do the same?"
"I just…I feel so lost. There's no question that Bastila is right about protecting those we love. We're no Jedi; we can't bear to see each other get hurt, and it makes us fight that much harder for one another. But how can we help her know when she's taken things too far? How can we know for ourselves, when the day comes that any one of us are put in a similar situation?"
"By using our conscience, Elena. Whether it's me, Juhani or Bastila, we were all influenced by the dark side to a strong extent. In the heat of the moment, it feels as if that dark path is the only one left to us – that all other bridges are burned. But the truth is, we only ever need a helping hand to reach out and show us that there's another way. You showed me that."
"If only everything was so simple," she sighed. "I know what I said to you last night; about me doing my part in this fight and not backing down. But persuading someone to re-evaluate their thoughts is an altogether different fight compared to simply drawing a lightsaber and fighting an enemy. I couldn't persuade you to turn away from your dark path that day – you merely let us go, and Malak was the one who changed everything. Juhani came back to the light because she realized that she misunderstood what happened with Quatra. But Bastila…she feels that she has a reason for doing what she did. And that's what makes this all the more problematic."
Unable to offer a quick solution, Revan leaned back and took a deep breath. For all of his efforts to keep spirits high, he knew that the road since the battle aboard the Endar Spire was riddled with failures, with their successes being just enough to keep them hanging on. The tragic fall of Trask, the deaths of the Hidden Beks on Taris, his inability to save Belaya, and Mission coming close to losing her life no fewer than three times…
"I'm…sorry to dampen your mood again, especially in a time like this," Elena said, squeezing his hand. "I know you'll do your best. Once Bastila is finished here, we should head to Kashyyyk and gather our thoughts along the way."
"As much as I'd like to think that'd be the case, we'll probably be faced with trouble as soon as we step back onto the ship. I just don't know how the others will react, especially Carth."
Elena's lips sealed shut at the mention of his name. The pilot had been suspicious of her, Bastila and the Council ever since Revan's reinduction into the Order, and the loss of Telos was still an open wound for him. The group back on the Ebon Hawk had been told of what had transpired in the Dune Sea, save for the reason behind Revan's – or, as far as they were aware, Kael's – return.
"My love," she said, pausing for a moment as she realized that she had not called him that in such a long while, "you're thinking too far ahead. I admit, I'm guilty of it too. Nothing can be perfect, and the path we've been on is proof of that. We can't dictate the outcome of everything we do; we simply do what we can."
His anxiety slightly relieved, Kael smiled at her, receiving a loving stroke upon the cheek in response. They drew close, arms interlocked as their heads rested against one another, each content with the peace that the other's presence brought.
At last, the door slowly creaked open, causing them to gently break from their restful state and rise. Bastila emerged first, followed by her mother, with both looking much more composed than before. A proper reconciliation had evidently done both mother and daughter much good, as Bastila even managed to put on a tiny smile of consolation.
"Thank you, mother," Bastila exhaled, turning around to face her again. "I know our initial meeting was…not as pleasant as it should have been, and for that I apologize."
"Don't blame yourself, sweetheart," Helena shook her head. "I could have done more for you while we still lived together. I see now that I was misguided in the past. I wanted you to be stoic and strong, as I knew that your father's profession meant that there would always be lengthy periods where we wouldn't see him. That's why I always scolded him for mollycoddling you. I…should have shown you more love in your early years."
"Mrs. Shan, forgive me for interrupting, but may I ask where you'll go from here?" Elena said. "How will you manage?"
"Everything is uncertain now," she replied, shoulders drooping with dejection. "I'm simply lost as to what, if any, planets are safe. It'd be impossible to even try to make it to the Core Worlds at this stage."
"But you can't stay here, especially not in a place such as this!" Bastila pleaded with her mother, holding the sides of her arms. "It's simply too dangerous. I told you what happened on the night of our arrival, didn't I? Please, I'll give you as much credits as you need; find a safe planet and see out the rest of the war there."
"This is just about as safe as it gets, my dear. If the treatment you gave me can truly help me, then I won't be better off elsewhere."
After a moment of pondering, a solution suddenly came to Elena's mind. "Naboo. My homeworld. It's always known peace, and the Sith won't view it as being strategically important enough to launch an assault in its direction for the time being. You'll be safe there."
The eyes of both Shan women glistened with calm at the mention, especially Bastila who had been tense towards Elena ever since the aftermath of the battle against the Tusken. Mother and daughter looked at each other for awhile before nodding in silent agreement.
"Naboo it is, then. Interesting, though; it's been a nagging question stuck at the back of my mind, as to just where you were from – I've never seen such an excessively polite woman in my life," Helena laughed, drawing a tiny smirk from Elena. "Thank you for the suggestion. I've discussed this with Bastila, and we've decided to have her father cremated. Neither of us wish for him to remain buried on this planet, and it would bring us closure to have his ashes buried properly back home on Talravin."
Bastila closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying her best to make peace with everything that had happened. An air of uncertainty still lingered about her when she opened her eyes again. "Well, mother, I guess this is…goodbye."
Helena whispered back. "So it is."
"Mother, I…I don't know what will happen in the future, whether it be the outcome of this war, or my own fate. I just want you to know that once this is over, if I live to see the end, I'm leaving the Jedi Order. I can't pretend to be something I'm not – someone who's incapable of knowing love, of feeling pain. I don't want the next time I see you to be like…like…."
"Say no more, dear. I understand," Helena said, placing a gentle finger on her lips. "You are your father's daughter, and I know that it's pointless to try to make you change your mind. I—" she gasped, suddenly coming to a stop.
"Mother? Are you alright?" Bastila's eyes shot up out of concern for her mother's health.
"You're going back out there to fight," she murmured, wiping away a tear which fell from the corner of her right eye. "Even after you told me that you almost died twice on this planet. Even when we now finally have the chance to be a family again. There are countless Jedi out there fighting in this far, but…I have only one daughter. I don't want to lose you like I lost your father, Bastila."
Bastila placed her hands on her mother's shoulders. "You heard what father said, mother. I can't betray that faith he held in me until his last moments. If I don't fight, and word of my disappearance spreads, this entire war will be lost. People will give up hope; I can't let that happen."
Helena could only pant and weep, cradling Bastila's face in her hands. "My baby girl…"
Seeing that the elder Shan was still plagued by fear as she and her daughter hugged each other tightly, Revan stepped forward. "She'll be ok, Mrs. Shan. We'll protect her, Elena and I."
Helena slowly opened her tear-drenched eyes to look at him. "Promise?"
"With my life," he nodded, drawing a concerned look from Elena, who knew to what depths he was willing to go to in order to protect his loved ones.
Her eyes veering left and right as she studied the two Jedi, Helena smiled, comforted by the assurance provided by 'Kael'. "Thank you. Judging by appearance, it gives me relief to see that you all care deeply about one another."
Whereas she would have hastily denied Helena's insinuations had she spoken those words during their initial meeting, Bastila's actions and statements regarding her future goals meant that there would be no going back. "We do, Mrs. Shan. We do," Elena nodded.
"There are so many questions in my head that my heart suspects it knows the answers to, but…I won't pry," she replied, keenly observing the apparent closeness between the two older Jedi that she didn't notice in their prior encounter. She pondered for a moment before speaking once more to Bastila. "My dearest, before you go, I want you to have this."
As she looked down at the object that was placed into her hand, Bastila stammered. "The-the holocron! But mother, I thought that we agreed that you—"
"It's alright, Bastila," she insisted. "I realize now that you'll probably need it more than I do. I've been with your father all this time, and have plenty of fond memories to cherish. I know that having this with you will mean that you'll have something to fall back to, to give yourself hope in the dark times ahead."
The tears started to flow again as Bastila silently accepted the gift, threw her arms around her mother once more and wept against her chest. "I love you, mother."
"I love you too, darling. More than anything," Helena smiled. It felt like an age when they drew apart, arms stretched outwards as their interlocked fingers slowly drifted away from each other. Seeing them off, she spoke one more time to bid them farewell. "Safe journeys."
Stepping out into the apartment's corridor, Bastila braved a smile back at her mother before the door clicked shut. She breathed out not in anguish, but in a sigh of relief, seemingly having made peace at last with the misunderstandings of her past. "Thank you," she smiled weakly at Revan, then finally to Elena, seemingly as a sign of forgiveness.
"We should get going to the Ebon Hawk; the others will be waiting," Revan said. With their mission on Tatooine finally having come to an end, he allowed Bastila to take the lead as they departed, enabling her to move at an easy pace while her thoughts still dwelled on her mother.
-o-
"Understood, Elena. See you soon. Carth out," the pilot said, switching his transponder to standby.
A ruckus continued to be made by Zaalbar in the garage as he tinkered with enhancements to his weapons, most likely as a way to distract himself from the impending trip to his homeworld. The now fully healed Mission could be heard nagging at him amidst the intermittent clanging of metal, as it was a habit of Zaalbar's to apply too much strength and end up denting or breaking objects in his grasp. Meanwhile, not showing any signs of fatigue from her final night patrol around the perimeter, Juhani trained alone in the cargo hold with the wooden sticks she used in sparring sessions with Audrey and Mission.
Carth turned to Audrey who stood by his side in the Ebon Hawk's main hold with her arms crossed and a frown written across her face. "I feel uneasy, Carth. First he turned tail and ran away out of the blue, and now he comes back as if nothing's changed in him. Something's happened, and Elena can't tell us why. Or, rather, won't tell us."
"Something big must have happened. I can feel it," Carth said blankly, his irritation, anxiety and sense of helplessness all coming together to produce a response almost totally lacking in vitality. "It all started back on Taris."
Audrey stared at him, confused. "Taris? Really?"
"Yeah. It was the day that we took the Ebon Hawk from Davik. I spoke with Bastila about the Jedi Council's actions during the war, as well as just how in the hell that Kael fit into all of this. She kept on insisting that he wasn't a special case, and that everything that had led up to that point was pure coincidence – I didn't buy it."
"So you think that something finally happened between those three?"
"If that's not the case, why else would he have fled in the first place? Why would Bastila have cried like she'd lost everything when she first let us know that he ran away? Reactions like that, they don't come out of Jedi – not even ones like Bastila and Elena who don't put on the typical Jedi act of pretending that they have hearts of stone."
"I don't get it," Audrey sighed in frustration. "Every day from now on will be a life or death struggle. We can't afford to be complacent or mess around with even the smallest white lies. Everyone keeps spouting the same bullshit line that we're all in this as a team, and yet they're still playing these stupid mind games on us? Carth, I…," she stammered, holding her hand up to her suddenly throbbing temple. "I'm scared."
Carth moved to wrap an arm around her, pulling her close. With their heads resting against one another, he whispered into her ear. "I know how you feel. The Jedi can talk all they want about letting things happen according to the 'will of the Force', but I refuse to just blindly go along with it, especially if it means seeing people I care about getting hurt. Seeing you hurt. Rest assured, I'm gonna get answers to all of this, no matter how much Elena tries to shut us down. This has gone on far enough – it ends today."
Audrey clutched against him, grateful for his willingness to step in on her behalf. Her grip gradually softened, until at last she lulled herself into a calm state. "You know, the last time I held anyone this way was at my father's funeral. I tried to find comfort in my mother's arms, knowing that she would try her best to protect me and my siblings, but…part of me was never convinced; thought that she was bound to fail, no matter how hard she tried."
He sighed, caressing the back of her soft, golden head. "Do you feel the same now?" As Audrey drew back and gazed at him with those piercing, ice-blue eyes, he awaited the inevitable answer. To feel inadequate once again, unable to protect the ones he loved.
"No," she shook her head, to her own surprise. "After what you've said, something tells me…that this will work."
Then, for just a fleeting moment as she embraced him again and closed her eyes, she felt at peace. Despite her decision on Dantooine to once again openly embrace her true name, she felt deep down that part of her would always remain Ice: ruthless, stoic, self-reliant, and willing to take matters into her own hands, no matter how bloody they would get. Unconditional trust and faith were almost alien concepts ever since her mother's murder, but now she was slowly learning to embrace those ideas once again, and the comfort they brought.
-o-
"How are you holding up?" Elena said to Bastila as they walked the streets of Anchorhead back to the ship. The streets were lively as usual, with vendors selling all manners of items whether they truly worked or not, and the ever-present nuisance of pickpockets roaming around with suspicious glances.
"I'm…I…," she stammered and blinked. She shook her head and sighed, giving an honest answer. "There's just too much going on in my head at the moment. The way I snapped; what I believed about my mother's intentions, when the truth was altogether different; the way I treated Jena; what's going to happen to my mother. What's going to happen to me?"
"We'll have plenty of time to talk when we're back on the ship," Revan assured her with a calming voice. "For now, just try to put your mind at ease as much as possible. We'll work through this."
"Speaking of what's gonna happen once we're back on the ship, Carth didn't sound very happy despite how things turned out, does he?" Canderous scoffed. "Then again, I'm not that surprised, given who we're talking about."
"It's unavoidable at this point," Revan conceded, then shortly after waved his hand at a street merchant who called and held out trinkets to him, declining the offer of trade. "Once we get back to the Ebon Hawk, I'm telling them the truth myself. We have to put this behind us."
Whereas Elena stared blankly ahead and simply came to terms with what might happen, Bastila looked sideways at him with admiration and awe. The Revan of old was slowly returning – that brave soul who at times seemed invincible, instilling others with courage. A smile slowly crept to her lips; in just a few days, a self-doubting and unfocused mind yearning for guidance was replaced by a returning firebrand whom she always had faith in and looked up to as a hero.
"The man's more likely to pull his gun to your head, rather than accept any apology or promise, if you ask me," Canderous replied. "But rest assured, I've got your back – if he tries anything, he's eating the floor with a helpful serving of stun ray."
Bastila's expression suddenly changed as the grim memory of her past experience with the painful weapon came to mind. The sunshine beamed down upon her face the moment they turned a corner past a tall building and stepped out onto the main street. "That…reminds me," she said. "What do you think happened to—"
A pair of goggled eyes stared right into her soul, a dark smirk forming on the lips of the feared bounty hunter who stood right in the middle of the busy street, his twin blaster pistols in hand. Several men stood to his left and right, all similarly armed and ready to kill.
"Son of a bitch," Canderous grunted, pulling out his heavy repeating blaster as HK-47 also took the cue and readied himself. The streets rapidly emptied as civilians took one glance and began to scurry away, wooden windows slamming shut and street vendors making a mad rush to empty their wares into rucksacks. The terrifying sounds that erupted during the night of Xor's death were still evidently fresh in people's memory.
To Bastila, however, Calo Nord was not the main target of her attention and scorn. Rather, it was the man who stood next to him, as she glared and reached for her lightsaber. "Part of me always suspected it to be so…but I never thought it would hurt so much to see it for myself."
"Tough love, sweetheart," grinned Trask Ulgo who stepped forward, now having finally showed his true colors. He still wore the same combat outfit as he did the previous day, but was armed with an array of specialized grenades on his utility belt and additional blaster pistols he didn't carry before. "I know I won't have to draw lines between the dots, since you'd be able to figure things out yourself. What goes around comes around. You could've made this easy on yourself; could've let me have that pearl as promised, and I very well might've let you all slip on by. But now it's come to this."
"Why, Trask?" Elena asked, exasperated. "I could understand you abandoning the war effort, after what you went through. But why this? Why join them?"
The traitor laughed heartily before responding. "Simple answer to a dumbass question. Because I simply don't give a shit about a 'them' or a 'they' anymore. After what I've been through, I've learned that there's only one thing that's truly important: me. I couldn't care less about the Sith, or Malak's plans for the galaxy. All that matters now is what I get out of things. I do what they want, and they reward me handsomely in return. Better than being left to die on a doomed ship, isn't that right?"
Revan stepped forward and faced him with a solemn, steely gaze. "Trask…I won't bother asking you what really happened to you after you disappeared into that sealed chamber – it'd only make me think less of you." He received a snort and mocking smile the moment he made that remark. "I want you to know one thing. I'm going back to our ship, one way or another. If you were anybody else, I wouldn't hesitate to simply go through you, but since you were once a good man who saved our lives, I'm giving you a choice. Step aside, and have all of your friends do the same, or you die here."
HK chimed in, absolutely ecstatic at the prospect as he gingerly walked up to his creator's side. "Commentary: This is the first time since our reunion that I feel positively proud of your decisions, Master. Weapons primed and ready."
"Think smart, kid," Canderous warned him. "I don't care how many of these petty goons you have with you, whether it's the worthless maggots who are standing beside you, or inevitably on some rooftops with their blasters aimed at us. You cross us here, and I'll put a blaster bolt right through your one good eye."
"Oh," Trask chuckled. "So that's what you think it is?" He gingerly reached up and pulled his black eyepatch away from his right eye. Bastila's eyes shot up as her prior suspicions were confirmed; a gleaming, red cybernetic implant was hosted in his eye socket. To rub salt in their wounds, he blinked which prompted the device to replay audio that was previously recorded during their travels together.
'Kael is…not who you think he is. He's been living a lie this whole time, and that's why he ran away once he realized it.'
Elena recoiled the moment she recognized her own words, blurted out without any second thought the night that Revan initially abandoned them after learning of his identity.
I've doomed us all…
"Your friends on the Ebon Hawk can't help you now," Calo warned. "Xor might have been a fool, but we took precautions. Just as you and that damn Cathar had been keeping an eye out for us, we've been doing the same and keeping tabs on you as well. Every step you took in this place, we were watching all the way. Your friends are all aboard the ship, thinking that you were finished with this planet and it was just a matter of you coming back. But they're wrong. You're surrounded and trapped, so you better do as we say."
"Drop your weapons and give yourselves up peacefully, and tell your friends on the ship to do the same," Trask declared. "You do that, and I guarantee that all of you will live. At least for now. You try to pick a fight, and all of you will die except you two." He pointed his right thumb and index finger to Revan and Bastila. "And by all…I also mean a certain someone who's precious to you, Bastila."
"M-my mother…!" she stammered. "You…you wouldn't dare!"
"I wonder…," Trask grinned, really beginning to twist the knife, "will she scream while being tortured, as I did? How long until she breaks? I think I owe it to her, after what you did to my pearl."
Fuming, Bastila had to be restrained by Elena who clutched onto her torso and shoulder from behind, pulling her back before she could brashly engage in combat. Revan raised his arm to his side to ward her away, before slowly letting it fall back to his side. "Last chance, Trask. Walk away."
"Sorry," he shook his head and readied his pistol, pointing it straight at Revan. "This is the way it has to be. No ifs or buts. If you think I value my life so much that I'm not willing to end it right here, right now, you're mistaken. As far as I'm aware, I already died on the Endar Spire."
"Lord Malak only said that he wants the two of you alive," Calo said. "We can do whatever we want with the rest, although Admiral Karath's promised me additional compensation if I bring Carth to him alive. And judging based on the info Trask here has provided on your companions, there's thousands of credits' worth of slave money stored nicely on that ship of yours."
"I guess this is it, then," Kael replied, then gave HK-47 a slight nod which the droid acknowledged. His thumb rested against his lightsaber button as he drew his right foot slightly back, ready to charge. "Goodbye, Ensign Ulgo..."
"It's been nice knowing you, Canderous," Calo smirked and aimed his pistol. "Say hello to Davik for m—!" His words were cut short as an abrupt explosion engulfed Trask from within his jacket. The turncoat fell forward with a pain-shriveled yell, while the bounty hunter and those around him were momentarily stunned by the force of the blast.
"Now!" Revan shouted and charged first towards the downed enemies, lightsaber blazing into life. Initially stunned from shock, Bastila, Elena and Canderous soon sprang into action alongside HK who proceeded to fire at several attackers who were stationed on building rooftops, his inner radars and sensors allowing him to pinpoint them after all civilians had cleared the area.
Opting to spread out as quickly as possible in order to avoid presenting a clustered target, Elena used the Force to leap onto the nearest low roof, ascending one building at a time until she faced off against a foe who was perched on a high station. The frightened man had virtually no time to react, screaming as his hand was severed clean off the moment he spun around to aim at her. A sharp gasp was soon followed by silence as Elena plunged her lightsaber into his chest, ending his pain. Unskilled as she was with the crude weapon, she opted to take it up and apply covering fire, enough to distract the other attackers on rooftops who were too far away for her to charge at.
Aiming to seize the moment, Revan and Bastila charged at their most lethal enemy who was scrambling to his feet, violently shoving away from on top of him a goon who had collapsed shrieking and clutching onto his torn and bloodied face. Seeing that the man was incapacitated and of no further use, Calo gripped shoved him towards the Jedi as a distraction. Having none of it, Canderous took a side step and placed a well-aimed shot which flew in between Revan and Bastila, putting the man out of his misery. But just as Revan prepared to use the Force to toss the man aside, a thick burst of flames came from behind the corpse, causing him and Bastila to dive for cover, rolling quickly away to the side to dodge any potential follow-up blaster shots from Calo as their lightsabers deactivated.
"Shit! Where's he gone?" Canderous grunted after the smoke cleared, revealing five unmoving bodies alongside Trask's lying on the ground after he unleashed a torrent of fire in their general direction. His heart however sank the moment he heard the dreaded sound of high-pitched beeping from behind him. "Oh, fuck…"
With no time to react, he swiftly backheeled the thermal detonator that Calo had sneakily tossed before disappearing into the streets. By sheer luck, the detonator had not exploded by the time it was sent rolling past the corner of the nearest building behind him to his left, thereby shielding him and HK-47 from the direct blast radius.
"Canderous!" Elena yelled from above them, having just spotted the grenade being sent towards the opposite structure. A tremendous explosion followed, forcing her to instinctively duck. A shower of debris went flying up into the air and rained over her, covering her hair with dust and broken stones. With visibility poor from the smoke and their nerves shaken by the swift speed of the Jedi, the attackers' fire temporarily paused, their eyes sharp on the lookout for any sudden movements.
Crawling forward and peering over the edge, Elena gasped as she saw that the entire low building had collapsed in a pile of rubble, with the backside of Canderous's armor barely visible underneath. The Mandalorian was trapped, the mound of heavy wood and stone being too heavy for him to heave himself out of.
Heart pounding and barely able to hear anything but the ringing in his ears after the explosion, Revan panted as he looked to his side and grabbed hold of Bastila's hand, as she was in a daze. Her hair was in a shambled mess and she gasped for breath after making a sudden and hard landing on her stomach in order to avoid Calo's initial flamethrower attack.
Battered by the wreckage which flew against him but still more than capable of carrying on the fight, HK-47 rose to his feet and ran over to his master. With his main carbine out of action following the blast, the droid pulled out two additional blaster pistols from his torso compartment and restarted the battle, drawing reply fire from the remaining assailants. Blaster shots bounced off his thick plating, but causing visible recoil against him as his energy shields were running critically low after partial malfunctions caused by several of his components being pelted and damaged by rocks.
Revan and Bastila rose to their feet, igniting their lightsabers once again. With fire coming in from all directions, Canderous out of action and the others unable to reach them in time from the Ebon Hawk, things were looking very grim. Elena discarded her blaster, her aim not being good enough to apply proper pressure on the remaining targets who were dispersed all around them, and opted to rejoin combat with her own lightsaber in hand.
Desperately parrying the incoming blaster shots, Bastila still had enough time and composure to glance at the body of Trask which lay unmoving on the ground. Her heart sank as her thoughts grew grim once again.
Will we be captured, as he once was?
Will I face the same horrors? Will I break no matter how hard I try to resist, just as he did?
She exhaled sharply, rejecting those images with scorn.
No. I will not fall today.
Not here. Not to these people…
Just like her battle with the Sand People, Bastila's indecision was soon replaced by an unflinching focus fueled by fury and the desire to survive at all costs. Once again she extended her palm outward, harnessing the power of Force Absorb to amass the fire of her enemies in a great ball of energy. Revan, still hesitant on tapping into his inner darker instincts, peered back in amazement while continuing to deflect blaster shots with his lightsaber, as it was the first time he had seen her using the ability.
"Bastila!" Elena shouted, dashing to join her friend as soon as she landed back on the ground. Her heart grew heavy the moment she passed the mound that lay over Canderous, as there was still no time to help him. Unable to arrive in time to temper Bastila's assault, Elena watched helplessly as Bastila flung the great sphere of energy at the nearest gang member firing at her from another rooftop. The edges of the building completely crumbled away as the man let out a short-lived scream before being virtually vaporized by the blast.
"We all live or die here! No second chances!" Bastila yelled back as she brought her lightsaber back up, glaring at the footsteps in the sand left by the escaping Calo Nord. Having lost her patience, she sprinted towards another of Nord's men and used the Force to brutally pull him towards her. The man screamed as he fell from the building, landing straight onto the tip of Bastila's lightsaber.
Leaving the rest of the motley gang to her companions to deal with, she ran at full speed to follow the tracks left by Calo, her eyes constantly darting in all directions to scan her surroundings for ambushes. Countless turns left and right followed blindingly quickly one after the other through the empty streets, until finally, the tracks stopped in front of the open entrance of a large, empty warehouse.
Cautiously she stepped in, deactivating her lightsaber for stealth, but inevitably worsening the visibility of the surroundings which was already poor from all the boarded-up windows which blocked the sunlight. Several rows of wooden shelves were lined across the area in a disorganized fashion, containing all manners of tools and abandoned projects. Sawdust and fine dust wafted through the air, prompting Bastila to hold her breath for fear of giving up her position.
She scourged the area, the messy alignment of the shelves forming a maze, making it difficult to avoid a potential ambush. After a lengthy period of searching throughout the building while walking at a crouched height, her knees ached with pain, although her grip on her lightsaber didn't loosen in the slightest.
Please don't tell me that I lost him. I can't. I won't. I—
She gasped sharply when she turned another corner, her face meeting the barrel of Calo Nord's blaster at point blanc range. She was only saved by her sharp reflexes as she quickly ducked away, the stun shot meant for her sailing just past her ear. Prepared for what was to come, she ignited one half of her double-bladed lightsaber with her right hand, leaving her left hand free to use her Force Absorb ability against Nord's stun shots, just as she had done before.
Unable to retreat quickly in the condensed workshop, Calo backtracked unsteadily, having gambled everything on his initial shot. He fired two more stun rounds at her in vain, as Bastila merely gathered them together and then hurled the resulting ball of energy to his feet, knocking him over. Out of desperation, he fired his fibercord whip at her ankles, but that too was a failure as she had learned from their previous encounter; she sliced the whip in half after it protracted outward, then charged in for the kill with her lightsaber aimed at his face, not willing to allow him any time to recover.
Calo Nord scrambled to his feet, eyes fixed on the yellow lightsaber that was intent on ending his life. Then, just before the strike could make contact, he opened up his vest and swiftly pulled out a vibroblade shortsword, swinging it in a backhand motion with his right hand at Bastila's lightsaber as she moved to stab him. True to form, the cortosis weave within the blade caused the lightsaber to short out and deactivate, although the force of the blow sent Calo's arm back with recoil. A stunned Bastila soon found herself wreaked with pain as Calo followed up with a strong punch with his left hand, landing a savage blow to her face.
Bastila let out a cry of pain as she flinched, stumbling backwards several steps while clutching her face with her left hand. Blood began to flow from both of her nostrils as well as a split lip, and she barely had any time to come to her senses before Calo charged at her with his blade, tackling her to the ground. They became locked in a struggle, Bastila holding on for dear life with her left hand against Calo's right wrist, with the blade coming closer and closer to stabbing her through the heart. To add to her desperation, he grabbed at her lightsaber which was grasped in her right hand by her side, pressed the activation switch and grappled for it as well, attempting to force Bastila's hand to shift just enough to end her own life by slicing through her throat.
"Mnnnrrgh… Not so…tough now, are you?" he grunted, eyes of madness glaring at her through those goggles. "This is…where it ends…for you!"
"Y-you were going to…capture me alive!" Bastila gasped, struggling in vain against the sheer disparity in physical strength. Her blood continued to flow, drenching her lips and neck in a stream of red.
"Everything's gone to shit now, so that's no longer an option. Instead…I'm going to take your lightsaber and head back to Lord Malak! No-one crosses Calo Nord and lives – not even a Jedi!" He growled heavily the moment he spoke those last words, intensifying his efforts as both the vibroblade and lightsaber surged towards their targets.
-o-
'There is no death, there is the Force.'
The one line of the Jedi Code that had puzzled, haunted and irked her the most of all, ever since the day she recited it all from memory when she was a small child, starting her down the path of becoming a true Jedi. She still questioned it in her own heart now as news of the Mandalorians' advance was broadcast on the Holonet day after day, with grim images of devastation and carnage laid bare for all to see. Still, the Council elected to wait and do nothing, while her hero was out there on the front lines alongside his loyal followers, desperately fighting to save countless innocents.
"Is something troubling you, Padawan Bastila?" a cold female voice came from behind her, surprising her as she sat up on the reading bench in the library of the Coruscant Jedi Temple. Her back ached as she stood at attention, having unknowingly slouched on the bench for quite some time while she was locked in thought.
"No, Master Atris. Forgive me for not greeting you properly," she spoke to the High Council member with a courteous bow, book in hand.
"Quaint," the Jedi Master scoffed, her demeanor as cold and distant as she was incredibly beautiful. She peered down at the book Bastila held onto. "While I find it valuable to read into the Code on a deeper level, the fact that the volume you hold in your hand is that which is for Initiate learners is…interesting."
"I… I thought it best, Master," she stammered. "With everything that's been happening, I have to admit that my heart is…troubled. I needed to find reassurance somehow. I need to convince myself that our course of action is right."
Atris narrowed her ice-blue eyes, in one of her paralyzing glares that she was well known for. "Is that so?"
"Don't you sometimes wonder for yourself, if Revan was indeed right? Don't you remember the passion with which he spoke? One can only speak like that if he truly believes in the cause he follows."
"Tread carefully, Padawan," Atris warned with a hushed hiss. "If you value your position within the Order, you will not speak such words."
"But he's fighting to save lives!" Bastila insisted. "Fighting to protect countless innocents. The people he cares about. His friends – which also includes you." She struck a nerve with the Jedi Master, whose eyes lit up out of surprise at the mention. "You grew up with them, didn't you? Revan, Alek and Meetra are all out there putting their lives on the line, and all you can do is criticize and denounce them?"
Feeling her heart simmer with warmth as she recalled memories of her childhood tutelage, Atris extinguished the flames quickly with another cold dismissal. "We were never friends. We studied under the same Masters for a time – nothing more. He questioned too much, often forsaking the wisdom of generations in favor of his misguided personal ideals. He abandoned the true path a Jedi must walk, and it is because of that that he will lead those who follow him into darkness."
"You don't know that," Bastila whispered, shaking her head. "You don't…"
"We have spoken long enough," Atris snapped as she turned and began to walk away. "Return that Initiate's volume to its correct place, and retire to your quarters, Padawan."
Bastila watched on as Atris departed, disappearing into the main corridor. For all of Atris's feats and accomplishments at her relatively young age, the Jedi Master's presence always came with an overwhelming aura of deep regret and emptiness. Her inner pain could be heard every time she spoke, concealing her loneliness with cold contempt. Unable to feel, and most of all unable to love, forever driven by the head while pretending that the heart does not exist… Atris was one to be pitied, indeed.
She flipped the book open again, her fingers still firmly stationed on the page she was reading prior to Atris's arrival.
'There is no death, there is the Force.'
The acceptance that death is part of the natural cycle of life – unavoidable and inevitable. The belief that death should not be mourned, but rather celebrated as part of a necessary process to attain oneness with the Force.
To be willing to forsake those who look up to you as a possibility of salvation. To reject that hand which reaches out to you in desperation, condemning them to die. To not even attempt to do what your own heart tells you is the right thing to do.
She had enough. She closed the book, put it back in its proper place and walked out of the library, her thoughts lingering on Revan.
She never set foot in that library again.
-o-
So close to accomplishing his goal, Calo Nord pushed harder, his nerves almost on breaking point. With both his and Bastila's grips now drenched with sweat, the lightsaber began to slide about, causing them both to intensify their hold.
"Just…give up and…die already, Jedi!" he grunted, applying his full body weight and going so far as to dig his knee in against her stomach to intensify her pain. Bastila squinted, wheezed and coughed, her physical strength more than failing her.
Then, her mind was made up.
No more.
Enough with the pretense.
Get up.
Her pained and desperate facial expressions faded, replaced by a pair of cold, determined eyes which glared at her attacker. All movement stopped as she regained full control in the blink of an eye, having once again given in to her will to survive at all costs.
"I am no Jedi."
Panic gripped Calo Nord as his own limbs disobeyed him, moving away from Bastila's heart and neck. Soon he was left suspended in the air with his arms stretched out wide against his will, his vibroblade falling harmlessly to the ground. Bastila rose to her feet and extended her hand, intent on dominating him and making him pay for every threat and transgression. So focused was her rage, that she had completely forgot about her own injuries; her nose and lip still seeped blood which rolled down her neck and stained her robes.
Her anger far from subsided, she quickly clipped her lightsaber to her belt before using both hands to throw him with the Force around the room, causing him to crash into the walls, countless shelves and various machinery in a horrible racket of noise. The screams and sounds of flesh and bone being pierced and battered soon broke through to Bastila's conscience, however, as she squinted hard before hurling him back out onto the exposed streets. He landed against the building across the lane with a thud, his head hung low and both hands drooped to the ground in utter defeat.
She walked over to him slowly, knowing that he was in no condition to resist, let alone stand back up again. The most infamous bounty hunter in the galaxy would die as a helpless and bloodied cripple.
"You forced this on yourself," she spoke, her teeth painted crimson. "You could have just left us alone. You could have chosen to go your own path, instead of working for Malak."
"Heh. You're no Jedi, alright," Calo scoffed as he looked up at her, coughing up blood. "So what now, huh? Just gonna straight up murder me? Do you have the guts?"
"It's certainly within my ability," Bastila said bluntly, the guilt already starting to creep up on her as her heart wavered. She pressed on, fearing that she'd lose the opportunity to extract vital information. "Tell me all that you know about Malak's plans and also what he knows about us, and I'll put you out of your misery."
"Hah! Fat chance," he chuckled, although it visibly pained him to do so. "Either way, I'm dead. And there's no way that…I'm letting you know…any—"
"That was not a request," she growled, activating her lightsaber and holding it up in front of his face. "Tell me now, or I'll—"
"Bastila!" came a shout from Revan, who came running alongside HK-47 after turning a corner to find her. He grimaced when he saw the bloodied state she was in, and more so that she virtually paid no heed to him, instead keeping her eyes fixed on the broken figure of Calo. "Bastila, what are you doing? Stop. It's over now." He stood beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder to snap her out of it.
"Last chance, Calo," she hissed. "Tell us what Malak's plans are."
He simply sneered and spat, his bloody saliva landing against her lightsaber hand.
"You—!" she snapped, jerking her hand back to initiate a vengeful thrust before she was stopped once again by the firm hold of Revan against her elbow.
"Bastila," he said, turning her face towards him as he looked her dead in the eyes. "Don't. Not like this. Please. Killing is sometimes unavoidable and I've learned that the hard way, but this isn't it."
Rage festered in her – the desire to kill simmered and boiled, just as it did the previous night when she ended the Tusken. Slowly, her thoughts returned to her father; the man he once was, and also what he dreamed she would one day become. Hate slowly gave way to regret, then guilt, as her gaze softened and a tear rolled down from the corner of her eye.
"I…have to, Revan," she murmured, feeling dejected and lost. "I can't let him get away. They knew about my mother. Calo will go and kill her if I don't kill him now."
Revan's shoulders slumped when he realized the truth behind her words. Just as he returned with a vengeance after being defeated and left for dead on Taris, there would be no end to Calo Nord's attempts on their lives as long as he had his.
"I…understand, Bastila," he said with a heavy heart and released his hold on her.
She turned to Calo again, lips trembling as she feared for what may become of her. Her first kill as a teenage Padawan during a mission with Elena was still vivid in her memory. No fewer than three sleepless nights followed that incident, filled with nightmares of self-doubt after having failed to dissuade the deceased to abandon his reckless path. Now, as she stared down at the broken body of a helpless target, she wondered to herself just how low her mind would sink if she did what she knew was necessary.
"You said that you're 'no Jedi'? Ha! You're pathetic, just like the rest of 'em," Calo mocked, even as he lay at death's door as Bastila advanced towards him once again. "This is just the beginning for you. Heheh… Your first mistake was trusting Trask and letting him walk amongst you, watching your every step and seeing all your faces. Now you've made it even worse for yourself…do you even know what the Sith will do to you if they get their hands on you? Haha… You're gonna wish that you signed the rest of your friends into slavery."
"Silence!" Bastila yelled, bringing her lightsaber even closer.
"Do it. If you have the guts."
"I will—I!" she stammered, her blade now inches away from his face.
"Useless, weak bitch, aren't you? Always was, always will be."
"You…!"
"Do it…"
"I…this…"
"Do it!"
"HK," Revan said, boldly stepping in and grabbing Bastila's saber hand once again. He pushed the button and turned Bastila around to face away from Calo as the blade withdrew, then held her in an embrace to comfort her. "Do it."
"Gleeful remark: At once, Master."
Bastila squinted the moment she heard the blast of HK's weapon. Her lightsaber dropped to the ground, her strength having left her. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of torment, the feared bounty hunter spoke no more, his hand falling limply. Bastila buried her face into Revan's shoulder and cried, the weight of all that had happened on Tatooine crashing down on her all over again in an instant.
"It's over now," he whispered gently into her ear. "You'll be ok. I promise."
-o-
"Almost done. Just a little further, and—stop moving!" Elena scolded as she applied her hands on Canderous, reaching out using the Force to mend his injured left tricep which, for the sake of flexibility, did not benefit from the protection provided by his Mandalorian armor. The proud veteran of many battles still had a bothered look about him, his pride seemingly stung after being incapacitated in such a way that he deemed disgraceful. With the battle over, silence settled across all of Anchorhead, and not a soul yet dared to peep out a window.
"Mph," he grunted, too proud to give an apology. "I should be the one out there hunting Calo. The girl's strong, but she doesn't know what he's capable of. Calo's no stranger to killing Jedi – he'd bring Davik back a lightsaber every now and then as a bounty whenever your Order sent one of their own to interfere in his business."
"Done," she stated, stopping the healing process. "Now, let's see if we can just get you standing up aga—ugh!" She stumbled not long after pulling him up to his feet as he almost collapsed, feeling a severe strain in his back. He barely managed to collect himself, moving painstakingly slowly but reasonably steadily forward. Elena struggled to support him up, as the solidly-built Canderous geared up in all his armor and equipment was easily double her own body weight.
"Don't kid yourself," Canderous chuckled. "For all we know, I just might bury you in a pile if I fall over and you're unlucky to be stuck under me. Well, at least I'm fortunate enough to still be alive, unlike some." He stared at what remained of Trask Ulgo, lying face down to rot away in the streets of Anchorhead. Facing away from the gruesome sight, he turned to his right to start to walk back to the Ebon Hawk. "Still, no matter how quickly Bastila gave chase, I wouldn't bet on them catching up to Calo – bastard's always been sneaky, and almost impossible to catch if he's on the run. Hell, it's probably for the best that the don't catch up to him. Worse things could happen to them than what happened to me back there, and—"
He stopped when he heard the soft treading of footsteps dragging along the sand, just around a nearby corner. To his and Elena's relief, it was Revan and Bastila, accompanied by HK.
"Bastila! You…you're," Elena gasped, spotting all of the bloodstains on Bastila's face and robes, now dried up by the punishing heat of Tatooine. Bastila didn't reply, instead staring down at the ground in shame.
Canderous, reading into their expressions, came to a conclusion. "So…you killed him, then?"
Revan nodded. "I ordered HK to do it. He was still alive after Bastila defeated him. We couldn't spare him – not after they threatened Bastila's mother."
"You can't save everyone. Some people…just choose not to be."
Elena closed her eyes, as the words spoken to her by Jena haunted her still. Coming to terms with what needed to be done, she looked at her former pupil. "Bastila."
Broken on the inside, Bastila brought her head up to meet Elena's gaze, silent as ever.
Judge me.
Criticize me.
Tell me that I was wrong.
"I'm glad to see you safe. I was worried about you."
I…?! She simply stared at her old mentor, dumbfounded by her unexpectedly accommodating answer.
"We should go," Revan sighed, turning rightward to the direction of their hangar bay. "It's been a long day, and…the others will be waiting."
Bastila followed without hesitation, eager to get herself changed into a fresh set of robes in order to do away with the haunting memory of Calo Nord's death. But just as she lifted her heel to follow, she was stopped by the gargled coughing that came from behind her.
"He's…still alive?" Elena gasped as they slowly approached the feeble body of Trask, still lying face-down on the sand and struggling for breath. Unnoticed before during the hectic battle, two feet in front of him and half-blackened by the blast of HK-47's grenade was his old Republic dog tag which still bore his name and number code.
"Gah…spoke too soon," Trask wheezed, blood seeping from the side of his mouth as he tried to look up, but could only manage to gaze sideways at the feet of those who surrounded him. "So…this is where it ends, huh? Heheheh…part of me always thought deep down…this is the way things would turn out."
Revan walked forward and knelt beside his former comrade and examined his wounds. The seared gashes along his left side extending across back were deep, with several fragmented bits of metal still embedded in his skin. "These wounds are mortal. There's nothing I can do for you."
"Can't be," Trask panted in panic. "You…you healed that Audrey bitch and the Twi'lek girl just fine. You're…you're just gonna leave me to die here, after what I—!"
"After what?" Canderous scoffed, still in respiratory strain after his ordeal. "You betrayed your own comrade in arms. What else did you expect?"
"But how? How did you do it? What did you do to make me… Cause me to…?"
HK-47 stepped forward. "Explanation: You made a grave mistake by drawing your pistol at us when the Master requested the pearl from you, meatbag. While I searched you on the Master's orders while you were held suspended and helpless by the Master's companion, I secretly removed one of your own grenades inside your vest, putting in its place a remote detonator of my own that was of identical appearance.
"Gloating remark: Are there any last words you would like to share with us, meatbag? I have already put down your more formidable companion, as disappointing as it was, given that he will no longer be around to provide entertainment going forward."
"Haha… Now that you mention it, I do," Trask managed a chuckle, although it pained him to do so. He used what remained of his strength to turn onto his right-hand side so that he could look up at Revan's face. "I thought I was acting smart by joining the Sith. Truth is… I was scared. I still am. Afraid of death. The day I charged that Sith warrior aboard the Endar Spire, I thought death would be a quick thing once it came. One sharp bit of pain, and then nothingness…but that wasn't true.
"You have…no idea what they can do to you. What they did to me. You think you'll endure what they can throw at you and die a hero, but that wasn't the case. They broke me. Completely. The injections. The burning. The cutting. I was willing to accept anything, just so long as it ended the pain. You can all still…avoid this. Give up. Don't fight. Just keep running, and one day the war will end."
"I can't," Revan shook his head and placed his hand on his old comrade's shoulder. "This is my burden. Trillions of people are suffering out there because of me. None of us who came to this planet can give up this fight. Not when we're fighting to protect the people we love."
"Fighting to save a galaxy that spits on you as a monster. You amaze me, Revan. Part of me thinks you're a crazy fool who'll only end up getting killed, but…the other part thinks otherwise. You could still redeem your name and save the Republic. Me? Heheh… Soon I'll be dead on this barren rock. I'll forever be known as a traitor and a coward, nothing more."
"No," Revan corrected him. "Ensign Trask Ulgo gave his life aboard the Endar Spire. He died a hero's death, and those he saved that day will never forget him."
Trask's eyes widened as he expressed his inner shock at having received forgiveness from the man he betrayed. Simultaneously overwhelmed with both guilt and peace, he shed a single tear which rolled down the side of his face, making contact with his lips. Using the last of his remaining strength, he reached into his the right-side of his jacket and pulled out the last krayt dragon pearl which was still in his personal possession, undamaged by the blast.
"Then use this…to save others. Just as I saved you," he said, his hand trembling as he offered the pearl to Revan. "Thank you…Kael…"
"Be at peace," Revan said after accepting the gift, looking into his old friend's eyes. Finally having come to terms with his end, Trask smiled for the last time as his eyes closed and his head landed gently upon the sands of Tatooine, a gentle gust of wind blowing over him the moment he bid the world goodbye.
Revan turned around grabbed Trask's dog tag, holding it up by the palm of his hand. The crest of the Republic's insignia was charred and slightly melted by the heat of the initial blast, with just Trask's name and identification number visible on the top and bottom of the rim.
"We should return to the Ebon Hawk," he said as he stood up. "I'll hand this in to the Republic Embassy on Manaan once we get there. His family on Alderaan should receive this."
Not a word was spoken by anyone as they departed the scene, with each individual locked in deep thought and inner reflection after the trials and realizations they faced on Tatooine. In his mind, Revan had already decided on the report he would leave with the Embassy, to be relayed along with Trask's dog tag to his family.
Ensign Trask Ulgo, K.I.A. Date of Death: 29-04-1044 AGHW.
Stationed aboard the Endar Spire when it came under attack from a Sith battle fleet while in orbit over Taris. Fought bravely against overwhelming Sith numbers in an attempt to ensure the safety of Jedi Knight Bastila Shan. Sacrificed himself to save the lives of fellow Ensign Kael Deren, Commander Carth Onasi, and Jedi Knight Elena Adarné after Bastila Shan's escape pod was launched.
Loyal friend, comrade in arms, and martyr for the Republic.
May his sacrifice never be forgotten.
A/N: Hi all, hope everyone's coping alright during the current lockdown and that your families are safe. Sure feels crazy how fast, yet painfully slowly time seems to have passed since the last update to this chapter. My exam's been pushed back all the way to at least the end of this year, so I thought I'd bring you another update while I can.
I thought this would be a relatively shorter chapter compared to the others, as I originally intended this to be more of a segue chapter which tied out loose ends on Tatooine before we moved on to Kashyyyk. Boy, was I wrong – this seems to be the second-longest chapter of all after the behemoth that was Chapter 16, since I wanted to add more depth compared to the game in various places, mostly in the interaction with Bastila's mother and the fight with Calo Nord.
Nobody knows what will happen in the real world from now until the end of the year and beyond, so hope you all stay safe and healthy.