Trails of Blood and Steel

by ultimatedbzmaniac

The Blood and Iron Chancellor, Giliath Osborne. The Debaucherous Prince, Olivert Reise Arnor. The board is set; the players are ready. Caught between these titans, Class VII are forced to serve as pieces in their game. However, three of these pieces: Rean Schwarzer, Fie Claussell, and Crow Armbrust; are not content simply being used. No, they would make this game their own.

23. Catharsis

gamer611: You have my gratitude for all your kinds words.

I was trying to humanize Warrick a little, good to know it worked. Yeah, overprotective Rean is always awesome and hilarious. That's about what I was thinking, something simple and personal; it suits Fie.

Agreed, that's why I rewrote them in the first place. Wanted to clean things up a little and ended up adding new stuff.

Chapter 1-I wanted something unique to start the story off with rather than the same scene from the game, even if it had differences; so the roughly fourteen thousand word addition the prologue was born. I like how it turned out, and so do you, so I say it was a success. And yes, parsing out the introductions made things work better in my opinion as well. Osborne foreshadowing is great ominous stuff, my friend; I had to put it in.

Chapter 2-Yeah, besides the actual fight scene I wrote for Iglute Garmr there wasn't too much added, but what additions there were made it all come together, I think. Glad to see you enjoy the new stuff.

Chapter 3-Agreed, I love the extra Rean and Fie stuff I added. I thought it put their chemistry on display, and you seem to agree, so I'll call it a win. Yeah, rereading that questioning scene with the rest of Class VII kind of made me cringe, so I revamped that entirely. Now it reads like something that could actually happen. XD

Chapter 8-I concur. The extra scene with Crow also allowed me to tie a bit of a bow around the chapter, since I was able to give it a better title than it previously had, so I'm satisfied with it.

Please, don't apologize. This is a great review. Thank you very much for taking the time to write it.

I'll do my best.

JoshPlater: I'm ecstatic to hear that! I'm quite glad you enjoyed it. Thank you, I tried my best to really nail his tonal shift when he gets all protective. That's all good to hear. I'm pleased you're looking forward to it. I can see your point, and I admit it did seem kind of strange to me as well. That said, Croire is so narcissistic, I can see an argument to be made that he was infinitely more concerned with rising to power himself than anything to do with future succession.

Oh, I never caught that. Whoops. Thanks for the heads up, I've fixed it!

I cannot comment on Warrick's fate, however, I will say you've posed an interesting idea that I will take into consideration. I am rather happy that you enjoy the story enough to take time to speculate!

I do. I know of Hyperdimension Neptunia, and plan to eventually play them.

Apex85: Um, not really. More just to show that Warrick's not simply a mustache twirling 'look at me, I'm evil' kinda villain. You know, humanizing him a bit, that's all. If it got anyone to really sympathize with him, though, that works too. I was just trying to flesh out the character.

Glad you enjoyed that.

Fuck Verrat indeed.

Vivi is...well, Vivi. And I love her for that. :P

Oh, one more thing Apex, you know how we once had a small exchange over how much you hated Crow? Well, I couldn't relate, at least not with a Trails character, until now. The way you hate Crow? Yeah, I'm sorry to say that's how I feel about Juna. If you want to know more about that, I've left a small rant at the end of this author's note.

Amazon313: Harsh.

RosyMiranto18: Nah, this one'll be shorter, don't worry.

Yeah, it's a mess. And I played CS3 shortly after it was released, to clarify.

It's against site guidelines, and I'm not very good at writing them, so, yeah, no lemons.

-Yep
-Yes. Very glad about that
-Coy is a word. You can find the definition. Unless, of course, you're being coy by pretending to not know what it means.
-I know what it means. I'm not sure why you would think I don't.
-Meister does not technically mean that, actually. The definition of Meister is denoting a person regarded as skilled or prominent in a specified area of activity, if you want to get specific.
-Thanks.

It's all good. Yeah, I ended up playing the Geofront translation for both the Crossbell games a few months before I finally got to play Cold Steel 4. So, discounting Haji/Reverie and the first Calvard game, I've played every trails game now. Yay.

-It happens.
-Mm. I suppose.
-Okay.
-Alright then.
-Yep
-Mm.

Yes, quite. 7-10 hours for trails, specifically. I can't spare that amount of time for every game I play. Nope, I take care of the crap I gotta get done, then I plop down and play the game. That doesn't always work out, of course, sometimes I gotta get up to clean someone's mess or make food for my little brother, but it's not like those things are difficult, so I take care of them real quick and get back to it.

-Yep.
-That's about the gist of it.
-That's about the size of it.
-Okay.
-Mm.
-Perhaps, we'll it's fine, I'm just sayin', don't come to My ReanxFie story talking about them with other characters. That crap annoys me. :P (I'm only being half serious here, don't take it personally.) It was said by Warrick, multiple times, that Zephyr destroyed the Silver Serpents; they're no longer around.
-Yep. Yes. And that's correct.
-Alright then. Yeah, MachiasxEmma is good. Yes, I have; that's a pretty common saying, and I've used it in my writing plenty of times.

Got it in one. No, the PS4 versions have the same amount of dialogue as the PC versions: they used the extra stuff from the PC version for the PS4 version.

-Yes, 21 years. Yep. That's not too important, honestly. It could have been a multitude of things. Of course it doesn't excuse what he did. Who knows, only time will tell. Nope, Croire wasn't the duke yet at that time, so...not quite. That, of course, doesn't mean he wasn't involved, but I digress. That's what they are, OCs.

-Yes, yes he is.

-Emile is the boy Rean tutors in one of the quests on the second free day in the first game. He is Annie's older brother, and lives in the house in front of the river. He was referenced previously. It's Vivi, that's how.

-Not sure how the thought of it actually truly being Patrick even entered your head, but it did give me a good chuckle. Yes, Luke, Maple, and Lisa are all NPCs from Ymir that you can repeatedly interact with in Cold Steel 2. Fie is the fourth, which is why I only told you the names of three.

-Yes, that's where Rean will eventually go see Vincent for that quest. Vivi's playing a prank, her sexual orientation plays little role in it. She could be asexual and still would have pulled that stunt. Nope, since Rean remembers nothing about his birth parents, he wouldn't recognize his birth mother's voice. It was Lucia's voice. I mentioned in previous chapters how she had a garden in Ymir, and that Fie helped her with it sometimes.

Trailer, not a house, unfortunately. I'm officially trailer trash! Yeehaw! XD (That's a joke. No one take it too seriously. XP)

Don't want to go back and read it? You don't have to, it's your decision. You're missing out on some stuff, but that's my fault, so I'm not gonna whine about it. I'll do my best to keep it up

RedBurningDragon: Thanks.

Indeed.

You pretty much hit the nail on the head.

Oh, you'll see something alright.

He sure did. Glad you're liking it.

That's about right.

Glad to be back.

Heero de Fanel: Thanks! Vivi is gonna be Vivi. Glad you liked it, I've been planning the honeysuckle scene for quite some time now. Since the middle of 2017, I think. XD (Verrat got as much attention as he deserved, about ten seconds worth, and he can't stand that, and I just can't help but chuckle to myself because of it.) Happy you enjoyed it!

Sor-Rin: I'm glad you feel that way! Yeah, I enjoyed it from the writing end as well.

Roxas1094: It's funny you mention that. I played the .hack games, or at least the ones on the PS4 collection, after CS1 and 2, and when that scene happened I was like: yes, I'm gonna do something with that. And considering Fie's thing with flowers, well, it worked itself out. Glad you're excited, here's the next chapter.

Raven armata: I'm glad. As do I, as do I. I will do my best.

LightSpecter141: I won't rule her out, but I make no promises.

FieLover: Happy that you like my story so much. Thank you so much! Also, love your username.

JohanNishigami: Thank you! I'm happy I was able to give you your Trails fix. XD Oh I most definitely agree. I agree one thousand percent! Oh, if you haven't played CS 3 and 4 yet, skip the rest of this author's note!

tackler5rb: Thank you! Here it is!

Dcraus: No. Not adding Alisa, sorry. I feel she has the least amount of chemistry with Rean, and I really don't think they go well together.

Benolition: Good to hear. Glad to know you enjoyed it so much.

Thank you! I do my utmost best to keep them as in character as possible, so I really appreciate that.

Thanks for your well wishes. Everything's finally settling down for me, so I think, and I really stress that, I THINK, I should be okay now. Lots of bullshit, but I'm through the worst of it, I believe. I certainly hope some of you were waiting, I'd hate to post this chapter just to find out all my readers dropped this story. I can't say I'd fully blame anyone, but it would still really fucking suck regardless. But I digress.

KnoxZone: Thanks. I do indeed completely intend to continue with it, no worries there. Favorite huh? That's some praise, even if it's only in the consideration for the position. I'm delighted to know you like this story so much.

Gilgamesh9999: Haha! Yeah, not sure if I should apologize or not, because I totally get what you mean by that. I've been in a similar situation. Rean's story really resonated with me, so I just had a whole slew of ideas for his development, some of which I'm sure would never happen in a super optimistic series like Trails, and I completely intend to use them for this story.

That's high praise, thank you, it means a lot. Not sure I'm worthy of it, but I'll do my absolute best to.

Etiseg17: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the story. I'm back to continue, no need to worry about that. I'm overjoyed another person found this amazing series, and even more so that they enjoy this story of mine.

Guest: I have no idea if this is the same person over and over again, but regardless I'll address the last several reviews marked as such here. Thank you so much for all your enthusiasm! I'm tickled pink that you enjoy my story so very much. Here's the next chapter, so no need to concern yourself over if I'll ever update again. As I've said before, I'd have to literally go croak before I abandon this story.

...

Before we get to the chapter, I finally got to sit down and play Cold Steel 4. And, of course, I loved it. Definitely my favorite Trails game. However, that being said, I can't deny the fact that I was somewhat disappointed by how the way a lot of things were wrapped up. Not to mention that they really seemed to play fast and loose with the power-scaling in this entry to an uncomfortable degree.

(SPOILERS!) I mean, Rean, stuck in perpetual ogre mode, along with seven others, fight Ennea and she could, according to the characters themselves, put up a real fight. I call absolute bullshit. They would have stomped her silly. Same goes for Ines. Also, I won't lie, I was in heavy denial over all the claims about Cold Steel being easier than all the others games, but I can't even pretend to entertain the idea of CS4 being on the same level difficulty wise. I mean, it was really fricking easy! That bothered the hell out of me. There were a few hard fights, but almost everything in the finale was...well...relatively easy, even on nightmare. The final boss in the true ending was kind of difficult, not that I died even once to it, but I genuinely had a more difficult time with Loa Erebonius in my original first playthrough of Cold Steel 1. All that being said, the final Divine Knight battle was overall pretty satisfactory. Maybe not the best Trails battle I've ever played, but it was at least good. But, I digress.

Anyway, the story and everything went nothing like I imagined in my head, even in the slightest. Matter of fact, the absolute only thing that happened that I imagined was Osborne's motive behind everything, that was something that I was pretty confident on going in. So, needless to say, I have quite a few ideas for that point when we reach it, so it should be pretty damn different.

One last thing, rant incoming.

I finally have a Trails characters that I HATE. Juna Crawford. I just...I fucking despise her. I hated her after CS3, but I was waiting to see how she progressed in 4 before I made my final judgement and... yeah, needless to say, the game didn't do her any favors. This is, of course, just my personal opinion, but I feel she genuinely adds nothing to the games. She's a raging bitch for the first half of CS3 and while she cools down some after the second field exercise, most of the damage had already been done.

I mean, the reason she's so mean and bitchy toward Rean is because he saved her and her siblings? Fucking really!? I know it's more complicated than that and it's because she has a bundle of mixed emotions and everything, that was all pretty realistic, but that doesn't change the fact that I, personally, find her behavior pretty reprehensible. It was even stated in game that Rean had no part in the annexation itself! If he had, maybe, just maybe, I could understand a little better, but I'm pretty sure my opinion of her would still be mostly the same.

I thought at first that maybe I was just being too sensitive because she was so cunty to Rean, but Ash and a few others were pretty harsh with him at times too, and while I didn't agree with them, they never bothered me like Juna's crap did. Not to mention the fact how she's so anti-Erebonian for the first chapter. It wasn't just her treatment of Rean that bothered me.

And then they try to shove her to the forefront as the leader of new Class VII, and I'm just not having it. She does not strike me as a good leader, at all. And her being pushed into the spotlight as the pseudo-main character of 4 for a while grated me like nobodies business. Her whole speech to rouse the original Class VII felt so goddamn disingenuous; she hadn't earned that right in the slightest in my eyes. I had a lot of sympathy for Crossbell, and was all but on their side before, but she genuinely had me feeling less sympathetic after her little outburst during the second chapter of CS3. Oh yes, Rufus is right there, and you blame Rean? Fuck that!

Look, I had problems with Alisa in the first CS game, I sincerely disliked her. It was only with the second game that I felt like easing up on her, and by the end of the third game, I genuinely kind of liked her. It's why, even though she's my least favorite member of original Class VII, I plan to do my best to do right by her in this story. Juna, on the other hand? I'm debating what to do with her. Because if I include her in the story in any sort of prominent way, I have to write her fairly, I HAVE to. I can't let my hatred for her overrule my own writing sensibilities. But if I do include her...ugh. I just don't know.

Sorry for ranting. I just... I needed to get that off my chest.

And for any big Juna fans, you have my sincerest apologies. I know it's never a nice feeling to find vitriol being spewed at one of your favorite characters. I'm not saying no one should like her or anything, just that I, personally, hate her. Hopefully, you can set that aside and continue reading this story, however, if you cannot, I understand. I will say that, if I do include her as more than a brief cameo, she will be written fairly. I will not demonize her or have everyone shit on her. In game, no one at the branch campus has any real problem with the way she acts. Rean doesn't defend himself from her crap, and I honestly never expected him to; you guys have seen my interpretation of Rean here in this story, as you can tell, I fully expected him to passively take her bullshit. Stuff like that actually makes me feel confident that I have a pretty good grasp on his character.

But I'm getting off track, what I'm trying to say is, if I include Juna in this story, I'm not going to do something stupid like have Rean snap at her or something, at least not over her usual behavior. That would be entirely out of character and would just be written to bash the character, and I don't do that sort of thing. If Fie hears her say some of that shit though, oh, trust me, little miss 'Crossbell is best' will get put in her place. However, like I said, she will be treated fairly and not outright bashed or anything. Which is why I'm struggling so much in deciding what to do with her, but that's besides the point.

Okay, that's enough, rant over. Sorry about that.

Once more, allow me to thank all those who reviewed, and allow me to thank all those who have added this story to their favorites and alerts since the last update as well; thank you!

Let's get down to it. This chapter, my friends, is a bit of a doozy. Be prepared for an emotional ride. I know I certainly had one writing it...

Please read, review, and enjoy.

---

8

Rean, despite his age, was fully aware of how fortunate he was.

To be stranded in a blizzard, yet found in time to survive; to be adopted by the same people who'd found him; for the the people who'd taken him into their home to be so warm and loving and to treat him as if he was truly a part of the family...

Yes, he was very fortunate, indeed.

He had no memories of where he came from or who his real parents were or even how he'd come to be all alone in a blizzard; not even an idea of whether he'd stumbled into it himself or been left there by someone else.

However, someway, somehow, he remember everything else...

His name, Rean, even if he was missing his family name.

The year: 1192.

Where he was, in the general sense, if not specifically: Erebonia.

He held all the general knowledge someone his age normally would.

But his real family, where he'd come from, and why he'd been all alone out in the elements? He hadn't the slightest clue.

It had been two years since then, and nothing had changed on that front. He could still recall nothing more.

It'd bothered him, at first. Over time, though, it became easier to accept, simply for the fact that there was no other real option. It wasn't like there was anything he could do to force those memories to return.

That being said, the desire to know would never truly go away... But he could live with that.

He had a loving father, mother and sister; the people of Ymir treated him so very kindly; he had a a roof over his head, a warm bed, and hot food.

Yes, he was definitely fortunate.

The rest of his family, however...

He wasn't so sure of how fortunate they were.

Two years here, and he'd noticed more and more how mean some visitors could be.

They were supposed to be some fancy nobles, higher in rank than his father in most cases. They'd come into their home, and go to the sitting room, where they'd share heated words with his mother and father, but especially so with his father. While usually civil, sometimes Rean would try to see what the problem was, and upon seeing him, the nobles would sneer. His mother would then take him upstairs, and the heated discussion would devolve into a shouting match at that point; he was never sure if it was his father or the visitor who started it.

Rean was a kid, not an idiot.

It didn't take too terribly long for him to realize he was the cause.

While his parents always tried to keep him away from the arguments with the visitors, he'd catch some words from time to time; 'that child' came up every single time.

Rean doubted they were referring to Elise.

If that wasn't enough, it happened almost every time they visited another noble's estate for a party or get together. Any social event, really.

Then there were all the letters.

Rean had never read any of them, of course, his parents wouldn't allow him to. But the expression his father would make after reading them made it apparent that the words written in them were far from kind.

He didn't know for sure those were about him, but he certainly thought they were.

After awhile, Rean began to wonder...

'What did I do?'

Because surely he'd done something wrong.

And yet, he was never punished.

Was it because his parents were so nice?

...
9

Rean had come to understand a bit more of why his family was treated the way they were. It didn't actually make sense to him though.

Why did it matter that he wasn't a noble by birth?

That thought, while always at the back of his mind, did not consume him; for the simple fact that he was too preoccupied with his new friend.

A silver-haired girl he'd found in a blizzard, the same way he'd been.

She was kind of weird and really quiet, but, she was really nice, and interesting too; she was the first friend he'd made that didn't come from Ymir.

While different, she was just like his family: she gave him a warm feeling when spending time with her. He really liked her.

He hoped they would stay friends forever.

...
10

'What am I?'

This was the question that haunted Rean's thoughts day in and day out.

Whatever had happened to him last year, that...'power', had yet to show a single sign of rearing its head again.

'That... Whatever that was, it was wrong. Unnatural.'

His parents hadn't been able to provide him with any sort of answer; they hadn't the slightest clue what it was.

Rean, on the other hand, had begun to suspect it had something to do with why he'd been found in that blizzard, all alone. Or rather, it had everything to do with it.

'Am I some sort of freak? Did my real parents know about whatever that was? Is that why I was abandoned?'

What else was he supposed to think?

'That... That has to be why they chose to get rid of me.'

It was the only thing that made sense to him. After all, despite what she'd said, that power had even managed to chase off his best friend.

'It's my fault she left.'

She had said she wasn't afraid of him.

The conviction behind her words... He simply couldn't not believe her.

However, being unafraid and being comfortable with something were not the same thing, not by a longshot.

'It's my fault she left.'

...
11

His father had cautioned him, warned him, again and again.

No matter what, just grin and bear it. Just for tonight.

He'd been very forthcoming with what was likely to happen at the party they would be attending: Duke Cayenne surrounded himself with less than upstanding individuals. As such, Rean was likely to hear some very unkind things said about not only him, but the rest of his family.

'I know it won't be easy, but, please, Son, just grin and bear it. I'll be doing the same, trust me.'

His father explained how if there were any way at all to get out of going to this event, they would do it, unfortunately, there was no way they could refuse a personal invitation from the most powerful noble in the country. If they refused to attend, they ran the risk of their actions being seen as a personal insult to the duke, as he'd specifically requested that Teo bring his children, wanting to meet them.

During the greetings and pleasantries of the social function, Rean had done just as his father told him, but, as the night carried on, all the hushed words and careful whispers about him and his family slowly chipped away at the young boy's resolve.

As such, when it really mattered, he'd been unable to keep himself in check. He'd knocked out the heir of House Cayenne.

Needless to say, the duke was far from pleased.

Teo had come down on his son harshly for what he'd done, right there for all to see; yet, since returning to Ymir, he'd failed to mention the boy's screw up so much as one time.

Rean hadn't even been truly punished in any sort of manner; somehow, that made it worse.

The preteen knew full well his father hadn't been angry, rather, he'd been disappointed. Not because he'd stood up for his sister, but because he'd done so when the consequences of his actions could be severe, and had done so with violence on top of that.

He knew he'd screwed up; bad.

He should have told his father about what Verrat had said, he'd have handled it in a way that wouldn't have angered Duke Cayenne and put their family at risk.

'If only I'd done what Dad told me to. If I had only grinned and beared it, everything would be okay! Why didn't I just listen!? Why do I screw everything up?!'

...
12

'Elise always loses any friend she makes because of me...'

Rean watched as his sister sullenly trudged her way to her room.

'If it weren't for the other kids here, she wouldn't have any friends at all.'

He'd tried to cheer her up, but the moment she'd seen him, she begun acting like she wasn't bothered by it. Only now, with him out of view, did she allow how she really felt to show.

She didn't want him to feel guilty because of it, that was all too clear. Despite the fact that she couldn't make friends because of him, she didn't blame him in the slightest: no matter how many times it happened. She would even stand up for him, which would turn their ire on her as a result.

'It would probably be easier if she did blame me. If she treated me coldly... Maybe she could actually have friends her own age. They could be mean and rude to me all they want, so long as they were kind to her, that's all that really matters, right?'

It wasn't a healthy line of thought, he knew that, but he was beginning to care less and less as time went on.

It wasn't right the she had to suffer because of him.

'Someday, I have to make it right. Someway, somehow.'

...
13

'I wonder how she's doing...'

Rean was lost in thought, as he practiced his katas.

His Master was sitting some distance away, sipping on some sake, watching him.

The teen was sure the elderly man could tell his mind was wandering, but had made no move to correct him.

He hadn't let himself slip up, even while his mind was elsewhere: he performed each stance and motion just as he'd been taught.

He would not let his Master down. Not after all this time, these three years of training...

He had begged and pleaded with the man to teach him. He would not disappoint him by slacking off.

That didn't change the fact that thoughts of that silver-haired girl permeated his mind.

'Fie...'

...
14

"Why!? Why can't I do ANYTHING right!?"

Rean raged at himself.

He stood alone, out on the second snowy path from the village.

"I'm an awful son, an awful brother, and an awful swordsman!"

The teenager threw down the sword gifted to him by his master, still sheathed, it ran no risk of being damaged.

"All I ever do is make things worse! I'm nothing but a detriment to my own damn family!"

He was just so damned angry!

At all the ones who made his life difficult, all the ones who slandered his father, all the ones who made his sister cry, all the ones who made his mother sad, and most of all... Himself.

He couldn't stand it anymore!

"I thought I'd finally, FINALLY, found something I could do right for once! But of course not, I screwed that up too!"

Master Ka-Fai had cut his training short.

It had been slow going, but he'd been making progress. He'd thought, eventually, he'd manage to clear this hurdle and truly begin life as a swordsman in earnest.

'You're not all here. Until you have come to grips with what you're missing, you will never be capable of progressing further.'

Yun Ka-Fai was a wise man, so Rean had no doubt he was right.

'He must've known I wouldn't be able to cut it...'

As if to rub salt in the wound, not a few hours after his Master left, Verrat had arrived in Ymir.

Needless to say, that didn't go well. Rean had barely managed to keep from causing another incident, having wanted to knock him out yet again.

"GODDAMMIT!" He cursed at the top of his lungs.

Every action he took made things harder on his family.

He hadn't been able to grin and bear it the one time his father had asked anything of him, he made it all but impossible for his sister to make friends...

And now, on top of everything else?

He was beginning to doubt the church's teachings.

Not about peace or loving your neighbor or doing kindness for others, no. He was doubting the very core of the Septian faith: Aidios herself.

"I'm not supposed to be doing this: I can't do this."

Stopping for a moment, he began inhaling deeply through his nose; exhaling through his mouth.

"I have to calm down."

He couldn't risk getting so angry that 'it' came out.

So long as he drew breath, he would never, ever let it surface again.

Breathing in and out deeply, over and over again, he forced himself to calm down.

Even as he forced his ire to cool, his doubts plagued him.

If there were truly a goddess of the sky looking down on them, one who was known for her boundless mercy and infinite kindness... Then why was his family forced to suffer so?

If it had only been him, he could have rationalized it. His 'power', for if it wasn't unholy, it would surely at least be regarded as such: that could be the reason. It would certainly be unfair, but he didn't believe he had any right to complain, after all, because of it... He'd taken a life.

But it wasn't just him.

He could no longer count the amount of times he'd found Elise bawling her eyes out in her room from the mean, hateful things other children had said to her.

His mother and father had all but become completely isolated from the world outside Ymir: most of their friends had dropped them not more than a year after they'd adopted him. And more often than not, all that awaited them outside of the village were sneers and jeers and looks of contempt, or simply cold shoulders. While limited to nobles almost exclusively, the aristocracy was everywhere. As such, they simply had no desire to leave anymore.

Rean had little doubt that if it weren't for the Schwarzer family's ties to the Imperial Family, they would have had their title and lands stripped away long ago. Perhaps even worse...

All because of him.

How was that fair!?

Moreover, what about the rest of the world?

Fie had either been abandoned, or her family had died, leaving her all alone to wander dangerous battlefields. If not for Zephyr, she likely never would have made it.

The Great Collapse, the War of the Lions, the Hundred Days War...

These wars, these tragedies...why did the Goddess do nothing to help!?

Even if she could not stop these events from occurring, even if she couldn't be in two places at once, even if her influence only reached so far as to allow her to speak to those in pain: she could still help people.

Yet there was not so much as a single account of her ever doing so.

He did not expect Aidios to end all the suffering in the world, even a goddess could never do that, he thought. But to not even help a little?

Aidios could not exist; if she did... Then she was truly wicked.

To allow all this pain and suffering; to not lift so much as a finger to help...

Rean simply could not believe a being so...so...WRONG, could exist. No one was capable of that level of cruelty, not in his mind.

However, almost everyone on the continent believed in Aidios: it had to be something wrong with him, right? Something was simply wrong with his logic, it must have been faulty in some manner or other, that was the only answer... Right?

After everything Father Bernard and Sister Lisa had taught him, how could he have doubts? How could he doubt something his own family wholeheartedly believed?

'Am I simply...broken?'

It would explain so much.

.

.

.

Bending down, he picked his sheathed sword, the gift his master had given to him, back up.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Rean wasn't sure who he was apologizing to.

...
15

Rean had taken his father's words to heart.

He had finally found the strength to grin and bear it.

Another incident had occurred with a family of nobles on vacation. Any time prior, it would have likely resulted in another minor scandal that would further harm the Schwarzer family's abysmal standing. But this time, it came to an end fairly amicably.

Instead of lashing out, or running away from the problem, like he'd always done, Rean had forced a smile and apologized with all the sincerity he could muster. When that wasn't enough, he all but humiliated himself, entreating them to not judge his family by his worth; rather, they should view it as how magnanimous the Schwarzers truly were for taking in a street urchin such as he. It helped that he assured them that he would never be the one to inherit the title of baron.

He never said his family wouldn't choose him, the nobles had simply taken it that way.

He knew his family would never approve of this, so he did it behind their backs. As much as he hated keeping things from them, it was necessary.

Because of his actions, the rest of his family were able to get along just fine with the visiting nobles; they'd left on good terms. Elise had even made a friend!

It hurt, of course, but the smiles his family shared made it all worth it.

He decided on that day, he could do this.

No matter what it took, he would ease the burden his family was forced to bear due to his presence in their lives.

...
16

Rean panted as he continued to practice his forms.

He'd been training for several hours, out here away from the rest of the village. He'd usually have gone back home by now, but he'd really needed to clear his head: the latest instance of grinning and bearing had taken its toll.

'This whole thing is harder than I'd thought it'd be...'

But he'd made it through without his family being any the wiser, thankfully.

'But, I'll keep at it, no matter what. I refuse to cause any more problems for them.'

Shifting his footing, he switched forms and attempted another technique he'd been taught, only to fail in executing it properly.

'I haven't been able to improve my swordsmanship at all these past six months, no matter how much I practice.'

He already knew why that was: he was an Eight Leaves drop out who couldn't hope to progress past the beginner level.

'I really can't seem to do anything on my own... Every time I try, it just blows up in my face. Why... Why can't I ever do anything right?'

Scowling, Rean's movements intensified, his swings becoming harsher and more aggressive.

'No, no, I can't think like that. I AM doing something right, finally. I'm doing this right. Grinning and bearing it: it's helped us out immensely. It's made things easier for them. For me, in a way. And if I can do that... Then maybe I'm not completely useless.'

Calming himself, he performed another technique, this time it was successful: it may not have been the same one he'd just messed up, but it was still something.

'If I can do that right, then surely, someday, somehow, I can find a way to make myself into a truly competent swordsman.'

Steeling his resolve, he performed one last kata, and sheathed his blade.

'I won't give up, I'll keep trying for as long as it takes.'

...
17

'Just three months to go...'

Rean stifled a sigh as he welcomed the noble family that had just come from the funicular station; slipping on a false smile with practiced ease.

He exchanged pleasantries, welcoming them to Ymir, the whole song and dance. All the while, his mind was on his recent enrollment into one Thors Military Academy.

'Maybe there I'll be able to finally find a way to pay back my family for all they've done for me.'

His grin and bear it strategy had run its course: the Schwarzer's standing had improved a bit, but it was a far cry from good. And as long as Rean was around, it would never truly be repaired, he knew that. All it was doing now was keeping things from getting worse.

'Perhaps... Perhaps when I leave, I shouldn't...'

---

ACT I - CHAPTER III - PART VII

...

Septian Calender 1204
6/11 - Friday

The sky was overcast; it was pouring rain.

Rean stood alone outside the old schoolhouse, umbrella in hand to keep him dry.

He'd been standing there, just staring at the old dilapidated building for some time now; debating the merits of heading inside to work out some misplaced aggression.

.

.

.

He finally shook that thought from his head, removing his non-dominant hand from the weapon strapped to his hip.

'Quit being so juvenile.'

He should know better; he did know better. Going in there alone was begging for something to happen, for something to go wrong.

More importantly...

'This isn't really happening... It can't be...'

He been trying to convince himself of that for a whole day now.

'She can't be in...in... In love with me. It's...it's... It's just a crush, a misplaced one, but definitely a crush. Like the kind that little kids develop on their friends. It isn't serious: it can't be.'

Shaking his head vigorously once more, he stamped out that line of thought immediately.

'Stop it! I can't just brush her off as a little girl with a crush! The things she's been through, the life she's lived... This wouldn't just be some fanciful whim of hers. She's grown up a lot since she left Ymir, certainly more than I have...'

But how could she be so sure? He wasn't even sure!

'I don't know for sure that I'm in love with her, that was just the conclusion I came to because... Because she's the only one who makes me feel this way...'

He wasn't sure if he was just in denial or what, but... None of it made any sense.

'Fie knows full well how she feels, they're her feelings, after all. She knew what that flower meant; what giving it to me entailed. This isn't just some crush to her. And... And if that's the case, it would explain some of her strange behavior lately...'

He still went a bit red when thinking back to her brazen actions at dinner two days prior.

'But it doesn't make any sense! Why me!?'

That was the most perplexing part of this conundrum.

What had he ever done in his short, pathetic life to deserve someone as amazing as Fie Claussell falling in love with him!?

Rean could rationalize his own feelings: he was desperate to latch on to someone who not only didn't make him feel worthless, but actively made him feel like maybe everything was okay; even made him happy at times!

Fie was... Fie was... Rean wasn't sure what Fie was. But she made things better, more bearable.

She was the only one, in his entire life, that could sometimes make him feel comfortable in his own skin.

He, being a teenager with little life experience and raging hormones, surely just conflated that with romantic love.

But her?

'How could she possibly love me...?'

She'd figured out in Celdic.

'I'm not 'here', I'm 'lost'. I'm...'

He hesitated, even in the privacy of his own head.

'I'm 'empty': How could anyone ever possibly love me?'

That's what it boiled down to, in the end.

He had nothing, nothing at all to give.

'All I've ever done is take.'

Everything his family had done for him rushed through his mind: taking him in, loving and caring for him, paying for his tuition at Thors... All for a child that wasn't theirs. They didn't bring him into the world, he wasn't their responsibility. They had no obligation to take care of him, yet, they did that and so much more. And his sister... Her life would have been so much easier if he wasn't in it.

'I've never given anything of any worth to anyone.'

Every time he'd tried, something went wrong. In protecting Elise and Fie, he'd murdered a man. When he'd simply tried to go fishing with the two he almost got both of them killed! And what had he ever truly done for his parents, other than make their lives more difficult?

Only the littlest, most minute things he'd ever tried to do succeeded. Acts that were all but worthless in the grand scheme of things: helping with schoolwork, helping around the house outside of his usual chores, buying gifts, all tiny things that didn't truly count. Things that were expected of someone you were close to.

He did nothing for the people in his life, while they did so, so much for him. Fie, included.

'She never actually said the words I love you...'

Shaking his head for the third time, he threw that line of logic away.

"Now I'm just grasping at straws." He admitted aloud.

'I just can't comprehend it...'

He could have, maybe, understood a girl having a crush on him because they only knew him on a superficial level; it would surely fizzle out once they really got to know him.

But Fie? She knew him far better than most. Perhaps even better than his own family. After all, he would never dare to tell them about his lack of belief in Aidios.

It was a paradox to the teenage swordsman.

.

.

.

Realizing further rumination wouldn't do him any good, Rean sighed.

"I should... I should go back to the dorms. Fie and I need to have a long talk."

He couldn't rid himself of his apprehension at the idea, even as he turned around and made for the exit of the clearing.

'No matter what, I won't get my hopes up. This is far too good to be true.'

For him, at least. For Fie...

'She'd be settling for someone like me. That isn't right. She deserves someone far, far better.'

At the same time, he also understood that he had no right to choose her romantic partner for her.

'Why does this have to be so complicated?'

Halfway down the path leading from the old schoolhouse to the rest of the campus, Rean cringed, as things just got even more complicated.

For there was Verrat, blocking his path, and he looked absolutely pissed.

"Just great." The Schwarzer heir groused.

"You have five seconds to prostrate yourself before me and beg for forgiveness for every slight you've made against me, otherwise, I'm not sure what I am liable to do to you, Schwarzer." The Cayenne heir forced out through grit teeth, trying and failing to project an aura of calm elegance.

He was seething; anyone could have seen that.

"Can we just...not? I've got something truly important to deal with today, okay? I promise you, I'll properly apologize to you tomorrow. I'll do it in front of the whole school of that's what it takes. Just...please... Leave me alone right now."

The young swordsman sounded almost apathetic, piteously so. There wasn't the slightest trace of venom in his words.

Yet, that was still the wrong thing to say.

---

Fie was alone in the sitting room of the Schwarzer Homestead; she sat on one of the seats surrounding the coffee table: the couch adjacent to the two single chairs.

The family she found herself with at the moment had asked her all sorts of questions. Her name, where she was from, where her parents were, if something had happened to them. She was further bogged down by their follow ups: she was safe here, that if her family was out there, they'd find them and help them; finally, that it would all be okay.

She didn't believe a single word.

Life had taught her not to trust anyone, especially those who wanted to 'help'.

"The Boss isn't like that though... Everyone in Zephyr is nice to me. I know I can trust them.'

Shaking her head, she decided it wasn't the same.

'These are normal people; nobles on top of that. Even if... Even if they really are nice, they'll change their minds when they find out.'

The muffled sound of the lord of the estate reached her ears then, as he discussed with his wife out in the main hall of the modest manor.

Debating what to do with her, no doubt.

Their voices were hushed, so she had to strain her ears, but even then she could only make out half the words they spoke.

"-won't speak no matter what I-"

"-something wrong with her?"

"Shock, maybe? Our boy found her out-"

"-all by herself!? What was-"

"I have no idea. What I do know-"

"-at least give her name?"

"I told you, Lucia, she hasn't said a single word since she got here. Rean said she-"

"-dangerous?"

"-bloody nose-"

"Do you think she'll-"

"-all by herself-"

"We can't just-"

"-family somewhere-"

"We have to-"

They were going to throw her out, just like she knew they would. At least they had let her take a warm bath first.

Small mercies.

"Hey, are you feeling better?"

Suddenly, there in the doorway, stood the boy who'd brought her here.

Walking into the room, he approached the younger girl.

"Mom said you didn't have any serious injuries. That's good, I'm glad you're not hurt."

He spoke to her, even as she stared blankly at him.

"Dad said you wouldn't talk to him. Why?"

He was openly curious, not that she cared.

"I don't know who those Silver Serpent guys you mentioned are, but no one's gonna hurt you here; don't worry."

Like she would believe a bald faced lie like that.

...

Then again, he'd had the chance, more than once, and hadn't acted on it.

Perhaps he, at least, wouldn't hurt her. That didn't guarantee no one else would. And even if they didn't, they still wouldn't want her here.

"You talked to me before, why not now? Did I do something to make you mad?"

...

"Whatever I did, I'm sorry."

...

"Does your throat hurt? Is that why you don't want to talk?"

...

"Why were you in that cave, all alone?"

...

"Did you get lost?"

...

"Could you at least tell me your name?"

...

No matter what he said, all he received was silence.

"Please talk to me. I just want to help."

She turned her head, pointedly ignoring him. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see him frown at this development.

He finally went quiet then.

.

.

.

Turning her head back, she expected to see that he'd left.

Instead, she found him uncomfortably close, completely invading her personal space.

Before she could react, he took both of his index fingers, placed them at the corners of her mouth, and pushed her lips up into a smile.

"Whatever's wrong, I promise to help: no matter what it is. So smile, okay?"

His face was marred with concern, as he entreated her.

In that moment, she could almost feel the sincerity and kindness in his words. Just as she had back in the cave.

...

He pulled away then, taking her silence for annoyance.

"I'm sorry."

...

"I'll... I'll leave you alone now."

As he turned to leave...

"Fie."

She finally spoke!

"My name is Fie."

---

Fie was alone in her room, staring out her window at the grey sky; her mind was wandering.

Yesterday hadn't gone so well.

...

Rean, having realized the implications of the flower he'd been gifted, struggled to get his mouth to work.

It opened, but no sound came out for several moments.

"I... I need... I need time to think..." He finally managed.

"Rean-"

"I'm sorry, Fie, I just... I need to be alone for a while, okay?"

He'd looked so sad and confused when he'd said that.

...

Fie's chest tightened at the memory.

For Rean to reject her... It would hurt. So, so much. Almost more than anything she could conceive of, even.

If she'd misunderstood his own feelings, and had simply been foisting hers onto him... She wasn't sure what she would be able to do about that.

Apologizing would just be a start; she'd have to make him understand that she wasn't mad or upset with him, that it was okay if he didn't want to be with her like that.

Just so long as he would remain by her side, that would be enough for her. He was her only family.

If he didn't want to be a part of her life because of this...

Forget being rejected, that was a pain too awful and agonizing to imagine.

The more rational part of her knew that Rean would never leave her alone like that.

However...

'I thought the same about Zephyr.'

She'd been abandoned by those she considered family before.

...

"Where is everyone going?"

"Guys..."

"Xeno, Leo! Someone tell me what's going on!"

"Disbanding...?"

"Where should I go...?"

"But... We're supposed to be a family..."

.

.

.

Why did they leave me all alone...

...

Breath quickening, she was on her feet and rushing out of her room, making for the stairs.

She was supposed to be giving him space, time to think.

The fifteen-year-old stormed down the flights to the ground floor, not stopping to so much as acknowledge the others in the common area as she bolted for the exit.

He'd had twenty four hours, and had yet to come to an answer. What if, given enough time, he reached the one she couldn't live with?

She had to find Rean, now!

---

The students of Class VII, excluding a particular duo, had gathered in the common area.

The girls filled one sofa, the boys the other; Gaius stood, as there weren't enough seats, and he was the first one to offer.

"Okay, so, what's going on, exactly?" Alisa inquired.

"From my understanding, our designated class mediator was seen running amok yesterday." Jusis answered.

"Isn't that a bit of an exaggeration?" Elliot piped up.

"There were a few students who said they were in fear for their lives." Machias told them; brow quirked, it was apparent he doubted the validity of that statement.

"Surely it couldn't have been that bad. This is Rean we're talking about." Emma said.

"I would not be so sure about that. Fie has informed me that Rean can be... Let's say overzealous, when it comes to protecting his sister; it appears that applies to her as well." Laura interjected.

"Some of us have seen proof of that, haven't we?" Gaius mentioned.

Those who'd gone to Bareahard with the pair of childhood friends nodded at that. It may not have been the same, but how desperately he'd tried to trade his own life certainly seemed to match up.

"Did this really all come about over a love letter?" Elliot wondered, brow furrowed in confusion.

"I suppose we can't know for sure, but that certainly appears to be the case." Emma replied.

"Yeah, Rean started acting completely different after he read it. I mean, he was only around for like a minute, but it was the only time I'd ever seen him like that." Alisa explained.

"I think it's safe to assume Rean went looking for whoever wrote the letter." Gaius put forth.

"I suppose. However, it's a bit of a leap to go from looking for whoever wrote it to terrorizing several students." Machias opined skeptically.

"I concur." Laura agreed.

"That is all beside the point. What I desire to know is precisely how the situation devolved into Rean isolating himself from everyone?" Jusis cut straight to the heart of the matter with his query.

...

"So no one has so much as an inkling. Fantastic." Jusis groused with a sigh.

"It is quite strange. He didn't even attend classes today." Emma remarked.

"Hopefully he doesn't get into too much trouble for that." Elliot commented with concern.

"Instructor Sara said she'd marked him down as sick; apparently, that's the story she fed the rest of the faculty. I'm not sure how I feel about our Instructor lying on a student's behalf, even if they're a friend." Machias disclosed.

"Is that really a concern right now?" Alisa asked him, a tad exasperated.

"Rean has not only been avoiding us, but Fie as well. If she can't get him to unbosom himself, I'm unsure of our chances." Laura asserted, getting them back on topic.

"Agreed. I've no doubt of that." Gaius concurred.

"So... What do we do?" The timid violinist posed the question to the group as a whole.

Suddenly, they're discussion was interrupted: Fie came barreling down the steps to the first floor, before booking it to the exit; she didn't so much as glance their way.

By the time any of the teenagers managed to get a word out, she was gone; the front doors left ajar in her wake.

It went without saying that they followed after her in short order.

---

Partway down the path leading to the old schoolhouse, two teens could be found: both soaking wet from the rain.

"How dare you talk back to me waif!"

Punch. Kick. Kick.

One lie face down on the cold, hard ground; open umbrella just out of reach.

"You should have learned by now, pay deference to your betters! Show respect to those above you! You aren't a true noble! You are beneath all of us!"

The second stood over the first, beating them senseless.

Stomp. Stomp. Kick.

The assailant didn't hold back, punching, kicking, stomping, he unleashed all his anger.

The victim made no move to fight back, clearly more intent on protecting the sheathed sword that lie underneath him.

'He planned this from the start. Here, halfway down the path, no one would see-'

Rean's train of thought was derailed from the impact to his ribs. "Grh!"

"Worthless scum! You're nothing but pathetic trash!" Verrat disparaged furiously; pulling his leg back to deliver another kick.

And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another! And another!

"You should've learned your place by now! Keep your head down and accept your pathetic lot in life, you unwanted bastard!"

He kicked him as hard as he could again!

Again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again! And again!

The attack finally slowed; Verrat huffed and puffed, panting: out of breath from both the physical and verbal assault.

"You aren't even... Worthy to lick the filth... From my shoes!" Verrat denigrated between breaths.

"... up..."

"What... Was... That?" The out of breath Cayenne heir questioned.

"I said shut up already!" Rean finally retorted, slamming his fist into the ground.

Ignoring the throbbing pain in his sides and hand, the Schwarzer heir pushed himself up off the ground, getting to his knees, he worked himself back up onto his feet.

"Don't you think I get it by now?! I'm beneath you, I'm worthless, I'm a disgrace to the nobility: I've heard it all before, okay!?" He raved.

Stepping forward, he was now shouting in the Cayenne heir's face.

"What do you even want from me!? Do you want me to admit to it, admit that you're right?! Fine then, I admit it! You're right! I'm worthless, useless, I'm the pariah of the nobility; I'm not good enough to be a part of the Schwarzer family or attend this school! And I'm certainly not good enough for F-"

Visibly biting his tongue, Rean cut his tirade off prematurely, face twisting with pain that wasn't wholly physical.

...

Releasing a heavy, bitter, frustrated, exhausted sigh; the long-suffering boy took a step back and calmed himself somewhat.

"Were you really under the delusion that I wasn't aware of all that? Because I am. You don't have to constantly remind me and throw my inferiority in my face, alright? So piss off already." With harsh, whispered words, he rebuked the older teen.

Verrat was visibly taken aback: so flabbergasted by this sudden reversal of demeanor, he was rendered speechless.

"I don't need your shit today. So, for once, just leave me alone." The swordsman's words were abrasive, but his tone was weak and weary.

He was just done.

Verrat, in his shock, worked his jaw to no avail: no sound would leave his mouth.

...

After a short, tense silence, the Cayenne heir finally found the words; recovering from his surprise, expression hardening, he spat pure, abhorrent vitriol.

"If you're aware of how worthless your existence is, then just fucking end it already, Schwarzer. You'd be doing the world a favor."

Those words hung heavy in the air.

...

Rean backed up against the wall; the strength seemed to leave his legs, he slowly slid down until he was sitting on his ass in the pouring rain. He didn't even have it in him to hold his head up any longer: his sopping wet hair, partially plastered to his forehead, now covered his eyes from view.

He looked absolutely defeated.

...

The silence had become almost suffocating.

"If you'll excuse me, I have more important things to do than waste my time here with you." Verrat sneered.

Having worked out his aggression, he no longer saw the need to linger. Before going, however, he added insult to injury: he took Rean's umbrella.

.

.

.

Head hung low, Rean sat there alone, nothing to keep him company but the sound of rain beating against the ground, wet footfalls fading into the distance... And his own poisonous thoughts.

'Street-rats such as him have no place amongst the nobility.'

'...your real parents didn't want you. They abandoned you.'

'Nothing but some filthy urchin who Baron Schwarzer witlessly brought into our fold. What that fool was thinking when he decided to take in some stray dog like you, I'll never know.'

'You are nothing but trash! Garbage that doesn't belong among the ranks of nobility! You do not deserve your place amongst us, you do not deserve your place here! YOU DESERVE NOTHING!'

'You're not all here. Until you have come to grips with what you're missing, you will never be capable of progressing further.'

'Everything I do makes it harder on them. I always make things worse. I can't seem to do anything right...'

'That's why Master Ka-Fai stopped my training...isn't it? He knew I wouldn't be able to handle it, knew I wouldn't amount to much even with his help...'

'I'm so pathetic. I'm...nothing but a burden to everyone around me.'

'Am I some sort of freak? Did my real parents know about whatever that was? Is that why I was abandoned?'

'Elise always loses any friend she makes because of me...'

'Why!? Why can't I do ANYTHING right!?'

'I'm an awful son, an awful brother, and an awful swordsman!'

'...I'm just not good enough for her. She deserves someone far better than me.'

'Am I simply...broken?'

'Not good enough.'

'Pathetic.'

'Useless.'

'Worthless.'

'Failure.'

'Weakling.'

'No one wants you.'

'Nobody loves you.'

'...why don't you do the world a favor and just disappear?'

Negative emotions spun, whirled and twisted about in his head like a typhoon; teeth grit, fists clenched so hard that his fingernails had punctured the skin of his palms, drawing blood. Only through sheer willpower did he keep from breaking down into an ugly, sobbing mess.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Forcing himself to his feet, he picked up his weapon and lumbered away from the campus.

.

.

.

"Rean?"

A certain head of white hair could be spotted following shortly after.

...

'Does he really think I haven't come to that conclusion before? Before coming to Thors, just by living, day after day, I made their lives needlessly difficult. All I do is make things worse. By leaving, I've helped them, even if only just a little. That's why I can't go back.'

With heavy footfalls, Rean trudged back into the clearing where the old schoolhouse reside.

'They took me in when nobody wanted me...whoever my real parents were, they..." He let that thought die there. "I'm not sure I blame them, not if they left me there for why I think they did... Who wants a monster for a son?'

He drew closer to the building, stopping just before the steps. The moment he did, he strapped his sheathed weapon back onto his left hip out of sheer habit.

'What am I, really? Just an empty, useless person who does nothing but make things worse for everyone around him... I don't even have a goal in life. I have no real aspirations... All I've ever wanted was to just not be a burden on my family anymore.'

He remained there for several moments, simply staring at the old dilapidated building... Contemplating a very rash decision.

'Does he really believe I haven't considered ending it before? He doesn't know anything, not a damn thing! If I just killed myself, how would I ever repay the kindness they showed me? My father, my mother, my sister... Fie... None of them would want that. I don't know much, but I do know that. To end my life, that would be nothing more than running away. I can't run from this: I have to make it up to them.'

Anger, sadness, regret, humiliation, shame: these feelings coalesced together into a storm of emotion inside him.

He'd labeled the idea juvenile, and decided against it before: it was dangerous to go alone. But now... He couldn't find it in him to care.

His ARCUS began to ring.

Reaching into his jacket with his free hand, he pulled out the old, rusted key: he hadn't so much as considered picking up.

Ascending the few steps, he reached the doors, and unlocked them. The moment they opened, he all but doubled over, dropping the key in the process.

Slowing for the briefest of moments, his heart beat a single time, yet he felt it throughout his entire being; it rapidly sped up from there.

"AH!" A strangled gasp escaped his throat, as he clutched desperately at his chest; barely managing to stay on his feet.

Deafened to all noise around him, all he could hear was the pounding of his heart, magnified in volume.

Something akin to a burning sensation, originating in his chest, spread throughout his body.

'This feeling...!?'

It was stronger than it was last month: it felt like someone had set his insides on fire!

This only served to feed the discord within him.

"I don't care anymore! I don't!" He cried.

Even he wasn't sure if that was true.

Not that it stopped him from forcing himself into an upright position and staggering into the building.

...

"What is going on?"

Having arrived to see Rean stumble into the old schoolhouse, the white-haired teen quickly gave chase, stopping only for a second to retrieve the key that had been dropped.

---

'I have to find him!'

It wasn't a thought or desire, it was a need. And it was all consuming.

Stopping for the briefest of moments after reaching the campus thoroughfare, the silver-haired teen's head was on a swivel, scanning the vicinity for any sign of Rean.

Finding none, she sprinted to the main building, barging through the front doors.

She proceeded to do a quick sweep of the first floor, not paying the slightest bit of attention to anyone else who might have been there. Finding nothing, she moved onto the second floor, her racing heart matching the speed of her swift movement.

Her brain was on auto-pilot; forget thinking straight, she was hardly even thinking at all. She should have know he wasn't in the school: she couldn't sense him anywhere in the immediate area. However, rationale had fallen to the wayside.

Finished with the second floor, she climbed the next flight of steps toward the roof at hazardous speeds, rapid intakes of oxygen fueling her; ignoring the tightening in her chest all the while.

She threw open the door to the rooftop, whirling her head left and right.

There was no sign of him.

She felt sick to her stomach.

'His ARCUS!'

Shoving her hand into her jacket, she retrieved her own. Fumbling with her ARCUS unit, she got it open and called Rean.

Ring, ring, ring.

Ring, ring, ring.

Ring, ring, ring.

He... He wasn't picking up.

Her chest exploded with pain.

Clutching her chest, the world began to spin.

To her ears, the beating of the rain was drowned out by the sound of her runaway heartbeat and rapid breathing, which had sped up exponentially: she'd begun to hyperventilate.

"Rean, where is Rean!?"

Fie Claussell was experiencing a panic attack.

...

That's when she felt it: Rean's presence flared.

"Rean!"

She didn't think, she just moved.

...

The seven students emerged on the rooftop just in time to see Fie leap over the railing.

"FIE!"

Rushing to where she'd just been, they all peered over the side to see her land in a crouch, before breaking into a sprint. Passing by the engineering building, she went directly down the path leading to the old schoolhouse.

"What the hell is going on!?" Alisa questioned, doing her best to shield herself from the downpour without an umbrella.

"How did she...?!" Elliot was lost for words at what he witnessed.

"That's at least a ten arge drop!" Machias exclaimed incredulously. "And it's slick up here! What in Gehenna was she thinking!?"

"Fie is almost inhumanly athletic: I suppose it shouldn't shock us she can make a jump like that, even when it's raining." Emma commented; her demeanor was calm, but the expression of concern on her face betrayed how worried she was.

"She's behaving erratically: something is amiss." Jusis observed.

"She ran off toward the old schoolhouse." Gaius pointed out.

"We must give chase, posthaste!" Laura declared.

---

Rean fought back the urge the burning sensation invoked in him the entire descent.

However...

By the time the elevator reached the bottom of the new, third floor; he could hold it back no longer.

"RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream that came from his throat was almost otherworldly: his voice had dropped an octave and adopted some strange characteristics; modulated to the point where it sounded almost inhuman.

Despite the volume of his voice, he couldn't hear it: it was drowned out by the pounding of his heartbeat.

A demonic red aura had formed around him: dark as sin black splashes, resembling crackling lightning, mixed openly with the flame like crimson energy.

His raven locks bled into a white, almost silver color; his fuchsia eyes went blood red.

"Hah...hah...hah..." Came his labored breathing.

For the first time in almost a decade, the power within Rean Schwarzer had overtaken him.

.

.

.

Stalking forward, he approached the doors ahead, ignoring the sound of the elevator as it made its ascent behind him.

...

Passing through the doors, Rean took a moment to scan the new floor, noting all the fiends within.

There were Hell Rabbits, Orderbelisks, Stone Stalkers, and Time Snails littering the area.

He unsheathed his blade.

---

"Shit." Crow cursed.

He'd been a second too late, and now he had to wait for the elevator to make its trip back up.

...

"Somethin' ain't right about this."

There were other matters he should probably be attending to.

Making up his missing credits, helping ease Towa's daily burden, returning all those overdue library books... Other, more personal issues...

And yet, he couldn't find it in him to leave this alone.

Figuring he'd need his guns, he tossed his umbrella into the corner of the room. "Been meanin' to check this place out since I'd heard it started moving around. Now's a good a time as any."

"Rean!"

Fie burst into the room, water dripping off her soaked form, eyes frantically darting all over the place: she looked like a drowned rat.

"Whoa, Fie, what's goin' on?"

"Where is Rean!?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down!"

"He was here! Where did he go!?" She demanded, voice cracking.

The sheer desperation in her voice, the absolute panic in her eyes...

She was visibly trembling.

The once stoic, almost apathetic, Fie Claussell was nowhere to be found.

This was a scared little girl.

"He took the elevator down. As soon as it comes back up, we'll follow after him." The white-haired second-year calmly stated.

...

"...'We'...?"

"I'm comin' with." He informed her. "Somethin's up with Rean-Meister. I figured, as his upperclassmen and buddy, I oughta help him out. Of course, I don't really know what's going on, but I doubt I'm going to get an explanation anytime soon."

She didn't appear to be in any sort of state to give him an explanation anyway.

With a very audible clunky click, and the sound of moving gears, it was apparent the elevator was making its ascent.

"Alright, here it comes. Let's go."

...

When they passed through the doors below, entering the third floor proper, they found it devoid of life. No matter where they looked, there wasn't a single sign of any sort of fiend... Or Rean, for that matter.

Crow opened his mouth to speak, but before a single syllable passed his lips, Fie took off like a shot.

Shutting his mouth, the nineteen-year-old followed after her, drawing his guns, just in case.

'What the hell is up with her?' He silently wondered.

He wasn't exactly close to Fie, but anyone at Thors could tell you she wasn't a normal girl. She was dispassionate and taciturn most days, if a bit sardonic. He'd seen her when she was with Rean and her other friends: in private she could be sarcastic or playful, but her stoic nature didn't simply vanish into thin air.

Her usual deadpan demeanor was no veneer; this wasn't a case of a facade being stripped away.

Which just begged the question: what was going on?

The white-haired slacker wasn't given time to contemplate this, however.

"Hey, wait up!"

...

Fie and Crow had reached the end of the third floor: the room just before the one where Class VII would fight the big bad fiend of the month.

The white-haired slacker, trailing just behind the younger girl, took the small staircase two steps at a time, so as to catch up.

Reaching the sliding doors at roughly the same time, they both came to a stop momentarily to allow them to open. Once they had done so, they were greeted by the sight of combat.

...

Rean stood, blade drawn, over a downed fiend. With a swift slash he destroyed it, wiping it from this plane of existence. He then turned his attention to those that were left.

There were two of them: they appeared to be demonic bat-like creatures with small heads and a single solitary eye in the center of each; they had horns, large wings, and three claw like digits extending from the end of their bulky arms. Their flesh was like stone, reddish-brown in color, with cyan engravings all across their bodies.

Pit Demons.

It was clear they'd already engaged him in battle, as one was struggling to remain airborne with a single wing, flapping it frantically in a desperate attempt to maintain flight.

Both creatures shook their heads wildly side to side, before firing beams of energy from their eyes: they tore into the floor as they trailed across it, heading directly for their target.

Swerving around the beams, the swordsman blitzed them: moving so swiftly it was like he blinked out of existence, he suddenly appeared right there, mid-air, in their faces. The creatures didn't have time to react.

"Raaahhh!"

With a swing of his blade, the swordsman sliced clean through the body of the injured fiend: its remains vanished almost instantly in a swirl of dark purple energy.

The last remaining Pit Demon was quick to defend itself by swinging on the airborne combatant with both arms. To no avail, as he used his sword to block the blows, stopping their momentum completely. It tried to force its attack through, but was simply incapable of overpowering him.

With a swift kick to the chest, the fiend was sent flying back, only stopping when it collided with the wall. A loud bang rang out upon collision, but no actual damage appeared to have been done to the wall. The creature, on the other hand, wasn't so fortunate: it fell to the floor, creating another bang on impact.

Feet planted on the ground once more, the swordsman wasted no time in advancing on the downed fiend.

...

That hair... That strength... That aura...

"W-What the...?" Crow was at a loss for words.

For the first time, in a long time, he wasn't sure how to react.

"No, Rean!" Fie eyes had gone wide at the sight of her childhood friend.

'It's that power!'

She did not hesitate, she ran in.

"Wait!" Crow may have said that, but he followed after her nonetheless.

...

"Rean!"

"Rean-Meister!"

The two called his name as they made their way toward him.

However, he didn't seem to hear them.

Having reached the fiend at this point, he began to carve it up: starting with its arms, he cut piece after piece of flesh away.

"Stop."

Crow followed Fie's lead, the two stopping a good three and a half arge from their friend.

He looked to her for an explanation.

It took her a few moments, as she had to take a couple of seconds to finally calm down; at least enough to get her breathing under control.

"You can't get any closer. I... I don't know how he'll react." She warned him.

The slacker cocked an eyebrow at that statement.

"This has only happened once before. So long as you don't make any aggressive moves, he shouldn't attack you."

"No aggressive moves, gotcha'." He holstered his pistols. "I noticed you haven't mentioned yourself, though."

"I... He won't attack me."

"Are you sure?"

"He didn't the first time."

It seemed that was as much as she was willing to divulge.

...

The swordsman finally put the fiend out of its misery, the creature vanishing just as the others had done before it.

"Hah... Hah... Hah..." His breathing was labored; his aura slowly dissipating.

"Rean."

"Rean."

They both called his name, to alert him to their presence.

Their voices seemed to finally register, as the swordsman began to turn towards them: his hair filled with color, his eyes bled back to fuchsia, and his aura finished dying out.

It was the Rean they knew.

"Fie..."

.

.

.

Everything seemed to hit him all at once.

Rean's face twisted in pain, horror, regret, and a mix of other emotions...

Dropping his sword, he collapsed to his knees and began to cry.

"I'm sorry! I-I'm s-so s-sorry! I-I didn't-I j-just-I know I-I should ha-have d-done b-better-I should-shouldn't have-but I d-did-I-I-I... I'm ju-just s-so s-sorry!"

He apologized profusely through broken, ugly sobs; the overwhelming amount of shame in his voice rattled the other two.

He'd truly broken down.

"Rean..." Fie breathed his name with solicitude, tears of her own prickling at the corner of her eyes.

She went to him, getting down on her knees to match, and wrapped him in her embrace.

"It's okay... It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."

She understood precisely what he was apologizing for. She was the only one who could know.

"I-I d-di-did, I-"

"No, you didn't."

.

.

.

Crow had tactfully made his exit.

...

Walking through the sliding doors, Crow came face to face with seven sopping wet teenagers: the rest of Class VII, sans their instructor, had caught up.

"Crow?" Several of them said, clearly confused by his presence.

Their curiosity about his presence was quickly dismissed for something far more important.

"Rean?"

They'd noticed just what was going on roughly seven arge behind the white-haired slacker.

Rean Schwarzer was crying his eyes out in Fie Claussell's arms.

"Rean!" Gaius, Jusis, Machias, Elliot and Laura exclaimed, their concern worn openly

"Rean..." Emma and Alisa's reactions, while not quite as strong, still conveyed their own worry.

"Hey, calm down now. He's not hurt, he's alright, and so's Fie." Crow attempted to placate.

"Are you sure Fie is okay!?"

"What happened?"

"Why is Rean crying?"

"Did Fie tell you what's going on?"

"Why are you here?"

"Did the three of you clear this floor?"

"What's going on?"

"I'm sure they'll answer all your questions later. For now, Fie's got this handled. Let's give them some privacy."

The seven teens were reluctant to comply. However, Crow insisted, and managed to usher them away; the sliding doors closed as they left the immediate vicinity.

...

The pair of childhood friends failed to notice what was going on with the others, they were too wrapped up in themselves.

"Rean... I need to hear you say it: what you've been keeping from me. What you promised you'd tell me."

She knew. She already knew. But she needed to hear it from him.

He was too compromised, the nerve was too raw; he couldn't hope to keep it bottled up, couldn't keep the mask up any longer: not in front of her.

.

.

.

"I... I hate myself..." Came his soft, quiet confession.

If his head hadn't been resting on her shoulder, she might not have even heard it.

"I'm not good enough! Everything my family has done for me, everything you've done for me... I'm not worth it. I'm a failure who can't do anything right! I'm nothing but a burden to my family, to you, to everyone around me... All I ever do is make things worse... I'm useless! Worthless! Pathetic! I'm... I'm broken. I don't deserve their love and kindness, I don't deserve yours... I don't deserve anything! For someone like me... There's no place for someone like me... Dad shouldn't have brought me home... He should have left me in that blizzard!"

Rean bared his soul to her. No more secrets, no more half-truths, no more hiding: he let it all out.

"I HATE MYSELF!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs, not caring if the entire world were to hear.

With every word, Fie felt like she was being stabbed in the heart. To hear him say it in his own words... To hear just how deeply Rean's self-hatred ran... Just how much he truly loathed himself...

She could no longer hold her own tears back; they streamed freely down her face.

"Rean..."

She moved his head from her shoulder to rest on her chest, tightening her embrace as she did.

"You saved me. I don't mean with the wolves, that jaeger, or Celdic; you saved me from myself, my loneliness." She began.

"The Boss found me and took me in, saved me from wandering the streets until I was killed in some crossfire or just starved to death. It took a long time before I could come to trust the rest of Zephyr like I did him, eventually, though, they all became just as important to me: they were my family. But then the Boss died, and Zephyr disbanded. They left me behind... The only family I had ever known abandoned me... I thought everything I had ever known was a lie. My family, you, compassion, kindness, love... None of it felt real to me anymore. For the next year, I was in a daze. I could no longer feel anything... I had become numb to it all. I went with Sara because I had nowhere else to go, but I expected her to leave me behind too, eventually. I gave up." She confided, voice quivering ever so slightly.

"But then... Then you came. I thought for sure you would resent me for what I'd done... But you didn't. You were happy to see me. The moment I let you in, you acted as if the eight years we'd been apart had never happened. You welcomed me back into your life with open arms. I can't know for sure if everything with Zephyr was fake or not... But with you, I know it was real: it was all real. The compassion you had for me, the kindness you showed me; how, from the very first day you found me in that cave, you always did everything you possibly could to make me happy... I hadn't imagined any of it. You saved me from that all encompassing numbness. I can't thank you enough for that."

She cared about Sara, she cared about her new friends... But Rutger and Rean were the only people she knew in her heart, without a doubt, would never let her down: they were the ones who made a place for her in this world. Only one of them still remained.

"You may hate yourself, but please, Rean, please... Know that I love you. Nothing will ever change that." She avowed, voice barely above a whisper.

A few words wouldn't fix this, no matter how powerful or who they came from. All the reassurance in the world wouldn't just magically make him better... Life had taught her that nothing was ever that easy. But she could at least try and make him understand that she would always be on his side.

...

His arms, which had hung limp by his sides this entire time, finally moved. He slowly, ever so slowly, brought them up, hesitating in finally returning the embrace.

However, before he could commit, they went slack once more.

"B-But... How do you know?" Came his voice, now strained and hoarse.

He'd been so sure just earlier this month: he loved Fie. Now? He just didn't know anymore.

He'd turned his original conclusion over and over again in his head so many times... Desperately trying to prove to himself that he wasn't in love... It seemed he had succeeded. He truly did not know anymore... He'd never been in love before, so how was he to tell, truly?

"Because I don't... I have no clue what these feelings are... I could just want it to be love. I could just want someone to latch onto: someone who makes me feel okay. It probably wouldn't matter who it was in the end... So long as they were willing to put up with me..."

He closed his eyes tight, not willing to even chance looking at her, even if he was unlikely to in his current position.

"Don't say it like that. No one puts up with you, least of all me." She gently chided him. "We want you around. At the very least, I'll make sure you know that I do."

She rested her head atop his in that moment.

"If you don't feel the same way I do, that's okay. Just as long as you're by my side, that's enough. I don't ever want to be without you again."

She clutched him to her chest desperately, tightening her grip on the back of his blazer to the point where her knuckles turned white.

"No! That's not fair to you! You're pouring your heart out to me, and I can't even-"

"It's okay, I promise. You've always taken care of me. Now it's my turn: let me take care of you. You don't have to suffer alone, not anymore. I'll be here, beside you, always."

That was a steep promise... She had every intention of keeping it.

He didn't believe her, not truly. He wanted to, but he just couldn't. They both knew that.

The fact that he had still yet to hug her back was proof enough.

She would do something about that.

'Fie, jaegers take what they want.'

Pulling her head away, she loosened her grip on him marginally.

"Rean, look at me."

Hesitating for a brief moment, he opened his eyes and did as she bid him.

Fuchsia danced with lime-green.

"I love you, Rean."

Without warning, Fie smashed her lips against his, stealing his first kiss and giving hers in return.

In that moment of shock and confusion, of love and want, of so many mixed emotions it was hard to sort through them all... The two had inadvertently formed a combat link.

Whether it was him or her who initiated it, or even both of them, no one would ever know.

As such, whether Rean liked it or not, he was forced to feel the depth of Fie's feelings though the link. He could no longer deny their validity. He had no choice but to accept that they were genuine.

He knew, without a doubt, she had meant every word

Fie Claussell truly loved Rean Schwarzer.

...

Just out of sight, past the sliding doors, but within earshot, was one Crow Armbrust.

He'd been there the entire time.

---

END NOTE: No editing, sorry, I'm still a little busy. But, for all intents and purposes, I'm back.