Chapter 8- Tore My Shirt To Stop You Bleeding
The gentle, lowly wind that danced and swayed around Hailey, around Will, around the whole city that day had built into a rather strong, steady, blustering middle of the night wind storm. As Will and Hailey stood in that rather large, looming, and very empty private hanger at Midway, Hailey couldn't help but shiver, pulling her heavier coat closer to her sides as she stamped her feet in place. The gaiety and splendor of fall was truly doing its' best to stay there, to remain in the city and allow the kinder, more laid back days of fall to grab hold and hang on for just awhile longer. Old Man Winter was just over the horizon of time, those bitterly cold and depressing days were just about to blow in and swallow them all into his grasp. Once he'd grab hold it would be months of limited daylight, fewer days below the cusp of absolute bitter cold than above, truly pushing everyone who had to be out in the elements to their breaking point. And then, just when all hope of spring was about to be lost, the old guy would spit them out, give up his reign with a promise of returning again before they all desired. They were just on the outskirts of all that, but standing in that hanger, eyes growing blurred against the slight chill in that 2am air, Hailey felt that winter had arrived. The only saving grace was that Jay would be there with her, Lord willing. That if by some miracle he survived all of this and was able to make a life outside of Med, that he'd be with her through the holidays, through those terrible winter months, that life would provide them a do-over of sorts as they tried to heal in many ways. Jay would need time to heal physically, and the two of them had to recover and restore mentally and on a marriage front. She didn't know how they got to where they were, nor did she ever see him being so broken and hurt that he'd up and leave her without very much warning. She wasn't sure where they went wrong, but if he made it through this, then it was her mission to help the two of them get back to better days, a better place in their lives once more.
"You okay," Will asked as he glanced to his left, noting the extra amount of shiver in Hailey's person as she breathed a little harder then normal through her nose, a quiet groan dribbling out of her as she continued to shift her weight back and forth, almost in a rocking trance motion.
"Yeah, what's taking them so long. It's almost been thirteen hours," she spoke through gritted teeth, closing her eyes at the end as the wind picked up once more.
"Hailey, they'll be here," Will encouraged, wrapping an arm round his sister-in-law's shoulder as the two of them went back to watching the skyline, willing for Jay to get there. They had waited long enough. They'd done all the preparing and freaking out and rest as best as they could. Things were primed to get going. All they needed was for the man of the whole show to get there.
Hailey took half a second away from staring out at the runways in front of them to take in where she was. Never again would she underestimate the pull and powers Sharon Goodwin had on this city. On top of getting everything lined up and ready for Jay's arrival at Med, she'd even gone ahead and somehow, someway, granted them permission to be standing where they were. Not even Voight could have them standing in an empty hanger, waiting for Jay to arrive like they were some high ranking VIP or federal agent awaiting some high profile target to arrive in the States. On top of that, the medivac chopper from Med and two skilled pilots and a helicopter medic were all sitting around, killing time as they too waited for Jay to arrive. This felt like the stuff you'd see in a thriller movie, it all felt very James Bond type. But here they were, truly living it out. She was internally grateful and hoping Sharon didn't have to give too much away to put them right here. Heck, they were even able to drive up to the private hanger, therefore allowing them quick access in and out of the airport, the ability to be fast on the chopper's heels as they all would make the great escape to Med. One day, when Jay was with them once again and able to ask of the heroics of this adventure, Hailey knew part of him wouldn't believe any of this to be true. Because she couldn't believe, wanted to pinch herself to make sure this was all true and real. The red marks on her arms told the tale. This was no nightmare, nor was it a result of deep drinking or staying up way too late with the TV on. It was very much real and very much happening.
"Oh wait," Will finally spoke, yanking Hailey back into the situation fully and very attentively. He removed his arm from being wrapped around her shoulders, reaching into his pocket as he felt the vibrating phone going off over and over agin. During their chats way back in the day, Will had requested that all communication be done through him. Hailey was not ready to be the bearing of all info, nor did she have it in her mentally to be that big communicator. Right now she was doing okay, but the second she got word of Jay's condition or finally saw him, that all was going to change. Will was more then willing to be that strong and steady person through all of this, allowing Hailey to feel and be however she wanted, which she very much appreciated. Her eyes took her to Will's side, noting the lit up screen as he pulled it towards his face, unlocking the device so he could see what the notification was. The quiet gasp and very brief smile told Hailey what was up before he could speak.
"He's here?" Will nodded as he rapidly texted back.
"Yup, just landed. Bradford confirmed," Will spoke as he finished his text.
"How's Jay?"
"He didn't say," Will replied, putting the phone back in his pocket as he stood a little straighter. It was almost humorous how none of them were dancing and smiling and celebrating that Jay was back in the U.S. and actually home. Perhaps it was the planning of what was coming next, or how desperately he needed serious medical attention that took all those thoughts away. If anything, it only made the intensity pick up, like runners at the very start of a race. The planning had been done, all the pre-game rituals were had and everyone was just waiting for the gun to go off. The race had to start, just needed to get underway. They truly couldn't wait much longer.
"Will, are we ready for this," Hailey randomly asked out of nowhere. Not that their readiness was going to be indicative of anything, that not playing a factor in any part of Jay's journey. But still, she wanted to know, wanted to hear from him before this all got chaotic. He was just about to answer her when the growing rumble of a jet engine cracked into their ear space, the two of them holding their breath and absolutely glued to the world in front of them as the rumble and pure airplane engine noise got louder and louder. The helicopter pilots had perked up, ceased their talking and joking as they too understood what was going on. Will and Hailey were too awestruck at what was coming their way to noticed that they'd gotten into positions, only just begun their pre-flight tasks so as to speed up Jay's transition from plane to chopper that much sooner. They all waited and waited and wanted to run towards the noise, it was just too tantalizing and almost begging them to do so. But then, when the sound had crested there it was, the massive black plane that had been in the air for over 4,200 miles was coming to a slow, painstakingly crawling stop on the runway. They weren't on the runway that was used for takeoff and landing, but it was more a driveway or pull over stop for private jets to come and go, picking up travelers and letting them off on solid ground. Will and Hailey were about a football field's length away from where the plane finally stopped, the chopper somewhere in between the two. It needed to be out in the open to allow for a quick takeoff.
Will quite literally had to hold Hailey back as the wind kicked its highest yet, thanks to the engines propelling the plane exactly where it needed to be. He turned both of them away from the plane as the engines began to slow things down. It took awhile for things to die down, in the process sending littered, random papers and blades of grass to fly in the air. Doing their best to not get struck by mildly flying objects, everyone shielded their eyes with a forearm. Once things were calm enough Hailey went back to watching the plane, doing her very best to not well up in tears and totally break down. That's when it first hit her that Jay was here, he was actually back home. He was in a world of trouble, but he was home. She followed through, she kept her promise. Alive or dead, Jay Halstead was back home. After weeks of being apart and thousands of miles between them, the distance tracker was down to yards, feet. She was appreciative that Will was doing a good job of holding her back, because every fiber of her being said to run, to run to him and to touch him, hold him, protect him forever and ever. But now was not the time for that, she had to keep denying herself that power and allow others who were far more capable of protecting him and his well-being to do their thing. This was all an act, a game of passing batons. She was that final leg of the race, the one that would be there with him till the very end, whatever that leg of the race entailed. But others had to do their bit, run their section of things, do everything in their power to better set her up, both of them, for that deciding stretch of it all.
"Will, why aren't they getting off the plane," Hailey finally spoke up, realizing that while she'd been standing there thinking of races and people and illustrations of Jay's whole journey, nothing was moving. She knew it would take a couple minutes to unload him and get things going, but they'd been standing there for five, close to ten minutes now. The exit ramp had been lowered in that time, but no other movement was going on. Now those urges to run, to bolt, to get in there and help were truly becoming too much, a couple times she fought Will's grip.
"Will, why aren't they getting off," she asked after the third push to be freed from him. Her voice was far more desperate then the first time, Will realizing that if he didn't go find out then she would spring herself free and get on that plane to find out. He understood why, but the very last thing they needed was for her to be freaking out in the middle of whatever was going on. Will went back to his phone, selected Bradford's caller ID and waited and waited and gritted his teeth when he got the generic voicemail. Part of him wanted to comfort Hailey, tell her all was well and that it was likely just taking some time to get Jay situated before moving him. But, he had to admit, this was taking longer then usual. Someone had to go investigate and he knew it had to be him over her. He just prayed she didn't follow.
"I'm gunna go find out," Will finally spoke up, finally releasing his grip on Hailey as he began walking. One step, then two before he felt his shadow coming with him.
"No way," he spoke, fully whipping himself around and grabbing both of her shoulders. He leaned a little so the two of them were deadlocked and staring at each other before he spoke.
"I'm going to go find out. I need you to stay right here for me. Can you do that?"
"Will I need to go." Will immediately shook his head. There wasn't time for this and he needed her to get that coming was not an option.
"Hailey, I need you to do this for me, for him. I will go see what is going on and I will come right back. Can you stay right here?" Against every part of her that was screaming to say no, she very bravely and slowly nodded. Will let his grip of her go, taking a step back as he watched and made sure she didn't follow. She nodded once more, motioning to the plane before she spoke up.
"Go, go help him." Will gave her thumbs up, turning back towards the plane as his calm walking turned into a steady jog. Call it good premonition, call it fate, call it whatever you desire, but something in both of them knew right then that all was not well with Jay. It's very understandable to think that, given all that he was about to undergo once they finally got him off that damn plane. But it just felt like something else was going on, some other layer on top of all the others that was holding things up. Will felt that, Hailey felt that, it felt like the whole world did. A sudden crack of lightning over the once still midnight sky rippled above everything, setting the very perfect and eerie mood to the atmosphere of the story. It appeared the storm had arrived in more ways then anyone had realized. Jay had brought the storms of everything with him, the lightning being that foretelling of what was happening just then. Will forewent the light and calm jog, as the skies cracked and boomed above him he took off in a full on sprint to the plane. He couldn't help but ignore the signs, Jay was very much in trouble. He didn't slow till he rounded the plane, swallowing his stomach back down into place as what greeted him on the other side of that speedy turn was something he would never forget. He could be a thousand years old and experience memory loss but would still have this exact scene tattooed in his mind pristinely; a memory he didn't want there at all. It was awful it was indeed terrifying, it was the single most frightening thing he'd ever seen in his life. Will was almost brought to his knees, and most definitely to tears, as he watched the horror that was his brother's very ailing body trying to give up. It appeared right then that Jay had held on just long enough to make it home so that he could die.
"Oh God, Jay," Will spoke out loud, not moving or blinking or doing much to stop the tears that were flowing down his face. His whole body was shaking in pure fear, he truly was not trying to pass out. He hadn't seen his brother in a very long time, but to run up on him in this state was perhaps the worst form of a reunion they ever could've planned. The heart monitors were blaring out into the Chicago air the steady and life sucking rhythm of serious cardiac issues. It wasn't the single, long beat of a dead life, but Jay was getting there way too fast. Things were seriously spiraling out of control. People were pushing medication into his IVs, one person was doing CPR while others read off numbers, stats, none of it being good. The person yelling for more rounds of medication, more assistance, more of everything had to be the elusive Bradford. He was the only one not fully panicking through the chaos that was Jay's current predicament. But Will couldn't shake how lifeless, how still, how awful Jay looked. He was not alive, there was no part of him that looked to be well or even able to survive the flight to Med, let alone make it through a terrible and serious surgery. He was dying plain and simple.
"Jay," was all Will could work up before he fell to his knees, finally pulling his eyes away from Jay. He didn't need to be here for this, he didn't need to see any of this, he was not ready for this to happen right here and right now. Perhaps his cry out to Jay was a bit loud, a little over the top, but it finally got the attention of everyone that was working to save Jay. Bradford didn't miss a beat as he reacted to the new voice in that plane, still doing his best to save Jay as he recognized the newcomer to that plane.
"You Will," he practically yelled as he resumed chest compressions. He counted to ten, let go of Jay's chest as the medics yelled for things to be clear as they attempted to shock Jay's heart back into a decent rhythm. When Will didn't answer he yelled louder once more.
"Are you Will!"
"Yeah," Will finally found the courage to say, doing his very best to regain composure and some kind of calm as he was sickened by what was happening in front of him.
"I need you to get off this plane and go stay with the wife, now," Bradford commanded in a very serious tone that really almost ticked Will off. The tears left about as quickly as they came, Will in the process of standing up as he spoke.
"What happened?" Bradford groaned in frustration as he kept his eyes glued on the heart monitor, the ECG, everything that was doing its' best to tell him what was going on with Jay. None of it was good news, Bradford knowing what was going on. The question was did he waste his time and explaining things to Will or just ignore him and keep doing his best to save the man of the whole freaking thing.
"His stats started dropping when we were making our final approach. I'm pretty sure those patches aren't holding anymore," Bradford rattled off as they all took hands off of Jay's body, willing for something to finally kick in.
"What do you mean you think they aren't," Will inquired on. No one spoke for exactly ten seconds, which was enough for Jay to understand that dying just wasn't an option right now. Whatever heroic measures were expelled worked, Jay was back in sinus rhythm. He was still in massive trouble, but he was clinging by his fingertips to life.
"Get off this fucking plane right now," Bradford yelled once more. For the first time ever, Chicago and Bolivia were locking eyes, the two dots becoming one massive dot of awful. Bradford and the others that had made the journey with him were furiously freeing things that were keeping Jay tethered to that plane. Will was too freaked out and dumbstruck by what had just happened to even register what Bradford had said.
"Will," Bradford yelled his loudest yet, Will snapping himself back into things. He was supposed to be the calm one in all of this, he was the medical guy that was supposed to be Hailey's guru and confidant. What he failed to take into account was the fact that he was the blood relative, the last of the Halstead name. He was Jay's brother, a brother he swore to protect and take care of. It was sad that it took till this very moment to realize that, so it was understandable for him to be so overcome with emotions right then. But that time was still aways off, processing could happen once they made it to that recovery stage. Jay was very much still on his way to dying, to serious complications, to life that was never going to be the same ever again. He heard Bradford, the patches were no longer holding the sea of danger at bay. They truly were running up against a very fast clock now.
"Get off this plane now. Go get the wife and get in the car," Bradford yelled as the last of the brakes were released on Jay's gurney and things started rolling. Will didn't answer, just turned around and bolted. Just as fast as he got on that plane, he was off, franticly waving his hands at Hailey as she watched the scene unfold.
"Get in the car," he yelled as loud as his expelling lungs would allow. He saw her shaking her head beginning to bolt in the direction of whatever was happening behind her. He didn't need to turn around to figure out what was going on. There wasn't a huge celebration or capturing of Jay finally touching down on Chicago soil once again. They all were doing their very best to get him back off of it and back in the air and on his way to Med. Will grabbed Hailey into a hug as she kept yelling Jay's name, watching as people were racing him to the medivac chopper and beginning to push him off to the next set of helping hands.
"We have to go," Will cried a little in her ear, that being what finally made her turn back. She was not about to be the person that kept Jay from getting what he so desperately needed. The two of them turned away from the chopper just as it was picking up blade speed, the wind getting harder and faster as it did its' very best to be airborne and in-bound for Med.
"Drive," she yelled out as the two of them careened into Will's car. By the time they'd gotten in and fastened their seatbelts the chopper with Jay, Bradford, and everyone else was over the empty private hanger. Will had never floored it so fast in his life.
"Don't you dare lose them," Hailey gritted through her teeth as she locked in on the chopper lights guiding the way. No way in hell was she losing her gaze on the chopper above them.
"I mean it, Will. Don't you fucking lose them," she spoke once more, both of them getting that that wasn't going to happen. The race to save Jay was truly on. No way were things slowing down anytime soon.
…
"Will I swear if you lose them," Hailey practically screamed into the car as Will had the audacity to slow down for a red light.
"Hailey, I have to slow down. There's cameras around."
"Will, you are in the car with a police officer. I will get you off. Voight will get you off on the tickets. Keep. Driving," she stressed on those final words. She slapped the top of the dash a couple times, seeming to be pushing and willing him to keep driving. Will had already dared to venture ten over the speed limit, but running red lights was going to be a very tough one to adjust to. Hailey now got why Jay never wanted Will to drive when he was around. She understood in an instant, the guy drove around like a blind grandmother. There was zero drive and urgency in his driving, and the fact he always looked pained going around the turn. Hailey seriously thought about making him pull over so she could take things over. But then she remembered that stopping would make them ultimately lose Jay and plus, she was nowhere close to a good mental state to be powering serious equipment. So verbal pushing was her only way to keep this moving along.
"WILL," she yelled once more, banging on the dash harder and faster as he looked both ways before slowly crawling through the intersection.
"Will, it is almost 3am. There is no one coming."
"Hailey, I will not be involved in an accident. Jay needs us to get there in one piece and preferably not dragging more innocent lives along with us."
"Good Lord," Hailey expelled rather annoyed and out loud. But before too long Will was back to pushing things over his limit, which to Hailey fell like a snail crawl through the streets of Chicago. More then anything she wanted to be on a highway, just driving and staying away from these side streets with all their lights and stop signs. It took Will some time and a few more left and right turns, but before long she got her wish, not sitting back at all but breathing a little better as the expansive open highway greeted them. They'd made it to interstate 55 at last, Hailey peering and craning her neck till she saw the blinking red and blue lights of the medivac above and just a bit in front of them. They weren't perfectly underneath, but as long as she could pick up those lights she wasn't going to dare to look away.
"Will you get in that left hand lane and you floor it," was all she needed to say, Will almost terrified of her at this point in the journey that he quietly and quickly did as was told. He stopped looking at the speedometer after it surpassed eighty. This was easily the fastest he'd ever driven in his life. His palms was starting to shake, his whole person perspiring with fear of things getting out of control, he prayed that he never had to do anything like this ever again.
"We should've brought my car. I could've put the lights on and we could've gotten there faster," Hailey mumbled mostly to herself but out loud.
"Are you freaking kidding me?! Hailey I'm going as fast as I possible can," Will immediately shot back. So much for being terrified of her, my how those ideas quickly shifted to annoyance. Hailey didn't say anything back right away, was still sitting on the edge of the passenger seat as she looked up at the dark night sky, praying for those lights above them to hang on, to just hold and live and get there in time.
"Or at least a police escort," Hailey finally spoke as the skyline of the city grew larger and more prominent in front of them. If she wasn't keeping her eyes fixated on the chopper that was carrying his husband's dying, no, horrifically ill body she'd have appreciated the sight in front of her. Seeing that skyline pop up on the horizon and grow bigger and closer was something she always cherished and loved to take in, but now was not the time.
"They're lowering," Hailey spoke just as the exit signs for Med streaked pass them, Will now having to take on the daunting task of getting all the way over and exiting while not crashing into anyone or anything. Luckily it was so early in the morning that aside from the caravan of massive trucks hauling massive loads across the interstates of America, your standard traveling car was very sparse, allowing for lane changes to be quick and uneventful. Just as quickly as Will got into that far left lane, he had managed to get all the way over into the exit ramp for Med. By the time they'd gotten off the chopper had disappeared from the skies, letting those in the car know it had dipped below the looming buildings and power lines and was in the final descent for Med's helipad. Only when they managed to get off the interstate and sit at a light did Hailey finally sit back against her seat, clutching her hands and pulling them close to her heart and she breathed out loud, pushing air out and pulling it in with a lot of stress and angst all around her. She closed her eyes for a couple seconds, doing her very best to stave off whatever emotions were trying extra hard to bubble over. They were so close. They were almost there. That's when it hit her that their final destination was potentially going to be home for her, for Will, for Jay for possibly, hopefully, a very long time. They'd reached the fork in the road. It would be here, in the building that was now just half a mile in front of her that Jay's fate would be decided.
"What," Will shot her way after a quick glance as he made that final right turn. They were just coming to the entrance of Med now. Her lack of speaking after all the antics didn't sit well with him. Upon glancing over at her he didn't expect her to be so silent and still when they were just on the edge of flying out of the car and racing into things, literally. Her lack of speaking didn't sit well with him.
"Hailey, it's gunna be okay," Will spoke up once again, resting a hand on her upper arm as he flew over a few speed bumps, getting closer to that ED entrance.
"Will, are we sure we're ready for this," she finally answered him just as things came to a screeching halt. Will's sudden stop almost throwing the two of them through the windshield. Hailey may have let out a little scream as he swore everything was fine. The fastest twenty minute car ride of their life was over. Will put the car in park before he looked back her way.
"Hailey, we're as ready as we're ever going to be."
"Will, I don't think I can move," she spoke just above a whisper. Her breathing was picking up, her chest heaving deeper and harder like she was struggling to keep her composure and ability to breathe. Will had seen this too many times to know exactly what was going on: she was on the verge of a full blown panic attack.
"Hailey, hold my hand," Will encouraged, taking her left hand in his as he leaned her forward enough to where he could rub her back. Up and down, over and over again, he encouraged her to breathe and squeeze his hand while she pushed through things.
"Hailey, just keep breathing," he said only when she'd forgotten to do so. She could only nod then, just keep trying to accomplish the most basic of functions as she let things ripple and cover every inch of her person. Part of her kept telling herself that she needed to get up, run inside, and see Jay before he disappeared into the great unknown for Lord only knew how long, perhaps forever. But she was so beyond scared, she was not ready to face that pivot moment, that time where things would be decided. Part of her thought that if they lived in this limbo state then things wouldn't get worse. That if they stayed right here, just for a little longer then Jay would still be alive and that things could continue as they were. Jay was home and alive, that was all she needed right now. Luckily the fear only lasted for a couple seconds longer, that urge to get up and meet him took over. Just like that, she was back and ready to take this thing on. Jay was in trouble, in need of someone to be there with him even if it was seconds before perhaps the most difficult part of this adventure arrived. She couldn't believe she'd been in this spot for as long as she had been. Before Will could drag her back in she was out of the car and racing inside.
"Hailey," was all that she heard before the doors slid behind her. She didn't bother to ask the person checking people into the emergency department if she could get through the sliding doors. Hailey just ran up to them, hoping they'd open or someone would wave her through. She heard the shouting, the commotion of people who'd been in that ED for hours waiting to get in while Hailey was seeming to be cutting in line. She didn't care who she upset, telling herself if they knew her tale they wouldn't behave the way they were.
"Maggie, OR floor," she yelled as she flew past the ED nurse's station, the woman in question looking up from her iPad and raising eyebrows as someone dared to yell at her. When she saw it was Hailey, who wasn't slowing down in the least, she sighed before answering.
"Seventh floor. Hurry, I think they're red-lining him to the OR." Red lining was never a good sign, foretelling that Jay was no longer stable enough to make it through pre-op. He needed to be under the power of sedation and medication and life supporting machines that could hold things off as the surgeons raced against the odds to grab him back to safety. Hailey couldn't help but wonder what exactly had gone down on that plane that made Will run back to the car in the manner he did.
"Thank you," she shouted back as the elevator doors closed too slow for her liking. Maggie waved, said something about wishing Jay luck before the doors fully shut and the car flew up to the selected floor.
"Come on, come on," Hailey willed the thing she was in, hitting the button a couple more times still thinking that did anything. She kept one eye on the doors and the other on the Digital screen that showed which floor she was passing. 4…5…6…7, at last, she was home free. The doors opened just enough to allow her to squeeze through by that time she had passed the doors and was back to the mad sprinting stage of things. Her timing couldn't be more off, noticing the swarm of people and a gurney already way down at the end of the hallway. Someone was yelling to a nurse, someone by the OR entrance doors that they needed to get through. They too were in a very hurried state, they too seemed to be in a race towards something terrible. Hailey stopped and watched as Dr. Abrams ran into focus, having come from the stairwell, waving his security badge on the car reader by the door before the unfamiliar people and gurney with mystery person started rolling through the now open doors.
"Jay," Hailey spoke just loud enough for no one to hear. There was so much blocking her ability to see who was on the gurney, just getting quick glances of socked feet, the outline of a body underneath blankets and all other kinds of scary medical things. She never got to see a head or a face or any kind of confirmation that it was Jay right there, just stuck down at the other end of the hallway she found herself cemented in place in.
"Halstead, craniotomy," drifted down her way. There were more words that surrounded those two, but that was all Hailey needed to hear to get herself moving again. At last, after two plus weeks and four thousand, two hundred miles, Jay Halstead, her husband and person in life was right there. And he was being pulled away from her view once again. Life truly did enjoying screwing her over again and again.
"Jay," she called out once more, loud enough for the party at the other end of the hall to look her way. A guy she'd never seen before in her life so much as glanced in her direction, responding to her outcry by pushing Jay further through the doorway and allowing the doors to close. Hailey kept running, kept her eyes locked on the doors that were closing too fast for her liking. In a rare showing of humanity Dr. Abrams stayed behind, holding hands up for her to brace against as she arrived just too late. Jay was gone, off to fight the battle for his life. She never got to say hello, or even a proper goodbye.
"Hey…hey," Abrams spoke up, doing his very best to keep her from prying into the OR doors. She hated that there was no window, no crack for her to see through, which was best given what laid behind those solid grey metal doors. No one needed to see those rooms and hallways and all the fun and terrifying activities that went down in there. Patients were typically too drugged and out of it to care, and doctors had enough training and experience to no longer be fazed by the severity and serious nature of surgery. It was all for the best, but right then Hailey hated it more then anything. She just needed to see him, just one final time, there was nothing else she wanted more in life right then…or forever.
"Hailey," Abrams spoke a final time, grabbing her arms and almost holding her down like she was a stubborn and restless child. Once she'd stopped darting and bouncing her head from side to side, trying to see anything past the impenetrable doors, did he let her go.
"I just wanted you to know his pressure dropped in the chopper, that's why we're just going to take him straight in," Abrams explained, slowly backing away as he spoke. It was very clear he needed to be on the other side of the doors, helping prep and ready Jay instead of being out here explaining the past. But Hailey couldn't help it, there was no way in hell she was going to leave things like that for however many agonizing hours.
"Pressure dropped," she asked as the doors opened wide for Abrams to sneak through, Hailey somehow thought Jay would be there, waiting for her, but it appeared he was long gone, very much in the room of destiny now.
"Hailey, we're going to do everything we can to help him. Sit tight, it's gunna be awhile," Abrams spoke up as the closed began to close.
"How long is awhile," she called back in vain. Abrams never heard her, was too busy jogging down to the OR where Jay and everyone else was waiting. Hailey sighed, dropped her shoulders as the doors sealed shut for the final time. Just like that, he was gone. She prayed those doors would open once more, with him alive and waiting for her on the other end of surgery; ready to recover from the trauma of the previous day's events. If Hailey could she'd have started crying then. But it felt there were no tears left in her to cry. Now came the waiting game of her life, of Jay's life.
"Please hang on," she spoke to the person who she knew couldn't hear her, but just saying it felt good in a weird and comforting way.
"Hailey," echoed down the hallway, now it being her turn to turn around and see people running towards her. At least this time she wasn't escaping behind the extra scary doors. Part of her had no clue where to go just then, thankfully Will and Sharon were coming down to meet her, Hailey hoping they'd get brought to a more private space, perhaps Jay's ICU room if they were super lucky. But the face Will was making and the extra concern on Sharon's face as they drew closer and closer told her that wasn't going to be the case, that something awful was about to slap her. There was no way it was about Jay, she was literally right in between things and there was no way they'd relay information to Will and Sharon instead of just walking out and telling her. But whatever was being held from her wasn't good and she just didn't have it in her to suffer another massive setback, another blow of any kind was going to truly take her out for good. So it was easy to see why she stumbled over words, let herself begin to go limp with fear and worry as Will held a random iPad in his hands, seeming to be wanting to hand it off to her.
"What," was all she could say before Will handed the thing off to her.
"Remember when I said Tyson Bradford sounded familiar?"
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything," Hailey almost puked out. She was clueless at this point, didn't care in the least if Will knew the guy from med school or some kind of rotation, all that matter was him saving Jay. That was it, that was all she remotely cared about the rest of the day. Will pointed to the iPad Hailey hadn't even realized she'd been holding. She looked past Will and to Sharon, who nodded as she pulled her glasses slowly off her nose.
"Read it," she gently encouraged. Hailey did read, going as far as the title before her eyes felt to be have popped out of her skull. She gasped, looked up at Will who sighed and nodded, clasping his hands behind his head and slowly walking off to hide the fact he was completely freaking out. Sharon just kept nodding, seeming to be biting a side of her lip as she gestured back to the iPad and encouraged Hailey to read on.
"And we just let him walk back there and operate on Jay," was all Hailey got out before she collapsed into a depressed, mute heap on the floor. Indeed, a swift blow to any form of her confidence in Jay making it through this surgery alive had arrived.
…
Dr. Tyson Bradford, an on the rise neurosurgeon with the fatal flaw of being too arrogant. He earned his undergrad at Emory University, completed his medical degree at Stanford University before transferring to UC San Diego where he complete his residency training and specialized training in neurosurgery. He trained under one of the most prominent neurosurgeons, who specialized in rare brain abnormalities including dural arteriovenous fistulas and other vascular abnormalities of the brain and spinal cord. When said neurosurgeon retired in 2020, Tyson Bradford inherited his role and soon became the chief neurosurgeon at UC San Diego. He was brilliant, gifted with a scalpel, and as all young thirty something year olds who are handed the keys to one of the most revered and respected neurosurgical department in the country, developed a bit of savior complex. He willingly took on cases that many deemed too risky, too life threatening, or were treated in a slightly conservative manner. His succession rate skyrocketed during this time, earning him more surgical hours than ever before and had people flocking from all over the country to be under his savior-like surgical skills. However, in February 2022 that all changed. A routine operation on a mediocre DAVF was performed, Tyson Bradford put down in the post-op notes that the surgery was a great success, 'textbook operation,' was penned multiple times in the patient's chart. So when the patient started complaining of facial pain, loss of sensation on one side of the face or had an increase in intracranial pressure, Tyson wrote things off, said it was merely the patient not adapting well to the recovery process of such a complex operation. He willing ignored the signs of a serious complication, was too self centered and fluffed up in himself that he chose to ignore the early signs of a clot, the repair to the patient's vascular inner workings a failure. As a result, the patient died two days later, the autopsy revealing he had a slow brain bleed for days, the coroner suggesting that the bleed began hours after the patient was taken out of the operating room. Tyson Bradford was immediately removed from UC San Diego, his license revoked and he faced criminal charges for patient neglect. He agreed to a plea bargain, which basically said he was never allowed to practice medicine in California, and suspended from any kind of medical practice for a year. So he escaped to the mountains and forests of Bolivia, where he hoped to find himself, or make a whole new identity and life far away from the trauma and mistakes of his past.
Hailey read that article in her mind over and over again, felt to have the thing basically memorized by the time they'd really settled down in that surgical waiting room. The iPad had been handed back to whoever it belonged to long ago, but she still could read it like the article was laying just on her lap. All her mind kept going to was the line about choosing to let a patient die, that the guy was arrogant and was so blinded by himself that he couldn't see the very basics of proper patient care. She couldn't escape the feeling that he was using Jay to boost himself back up, that he'd perhaps let Jay perish in the aftermath so long as he flexed those surgical muscles and proved that he still had the talent, the drive, the ability to operate once more. How he was able to get in that OR and operate with that kind of past in his permanent record was beyond her understanding at this point. So much about the whole nightmare was messed up, so allowing a banned neurosurgeon to be the savior in Jay's story somehow felt perfect. She wished someone had researched the guy sooner, that Will had actually remembered why he recognized the name and acted on that well before Jay and Bradford had landed in Chicago. But the past was the past, Jay was deep into surgery now and there was absolutely nothing they could do right now. At this point, pulling the guy off Jay's case was going to be deliberate ignoring of patient care and would result in Jay's passing. As messed up as it all was, Bradford was going to be the person that saved Jay. The guy that was using him as a comeback story, the guy that had so much mystery and trouble in his past, wound up being the only person who could do the impossible. There was a part of her that wanted to take comfort in those two crossing paths at the right time, that if Jay hadn't been in Bolivia with that team when all this happened then he'd very likely be dead right now. It felt like some greater, twisted good was looking out for Jay in all of this. The situation was scary, but the right players were perfectly aligned at the opportune moment. But still, a stronger part of her couldn't shake the fact that the last time this guy operated resulted in a patient death. There was most certainly a leap of faith in all of this, Hailey truly hating that most of all. They all were in the suspension of things now, having not a clue if and where they'd land on the other side of all of this. And that was why she could not sit still. That is why for the first hour and a half of Jay's marathon operation she found herself quietly pacing back and forth, mulling things over in her mind before glancing at the clock, her phone, anything with the telling of time every thirty seconds or so.
"You're going to burn a track into the floor if you don't stop," Will finally had to cut into the dead silent room. Hailey chuckled, sighing rather out loud as she ran fingers through her hair. She was very uneasy, that much was blatantly obvious.
"How did you not remember this whole Tyson Bradford thing," she finally spoke into the room, for real it was the first words she decided to utter while Jay was undergoing surgery. She stopped her walking enough to glance over at Will, waiting for him to put the outdated magazine down and look at her, talk to her.
"I don't know. I know it was a big story back when it first broke, but do you remember any major story from six months ago?"
"No," Hailey sighed, going back to her pacing of the room. Five steps forward, turning a full one eighty and doing the same number of steps back. Over and over again, praying that each lap would make the time pass faster, it never did.
"But still, you work in this field. How did you not remember?"
"Hailey, seriously you need to stop thinking about it."
"Seriously," she cut into his lingering thoughts, stopping once more as she rested a hand on her hip.
"You just want me to forget that the guy that's operating on Jay's brain has murdered someone?!"
"Okay, you really need to stop. He did not murder someone."
"Well he didn't treat them, or watch for warning signs, he just let things happen."
"Hailey, look at all he's done with Jay's case. He's the one that rushed him through the diagnostic testing, he's the one that called us. He's the one that said he needed help and he was willing to operate, despite having all of that behind him. He hasn't left Jay's side since this all happened. And when they landed, he's the one that was right there treating Jay before telling everyone to hurry up and get to Med. That is patient care, that was looking out for his patient and he is in there right now, helping save Jay. Don't you think all of that tells you that maybe, perhaps, the guy has learned his lesson? Maybe become a little more humble and is trying to do things right?"
"So you're defending him?" Will sighed in annoyance, closing his eyes for a couple seconds as he worked through his frustration before continuing on.
"No, I'm not defending what he did. But I am saying that you need to give the guy a chance. He's still very qualified to do this surgery. Abrams said he couldn't do it, I'm pretty sure you could count on one hand the number of people that are qualified to treat what Jay has. So yes, it is upsetting and a little frightening that he is the one doing all of this. But, you have to trust things. We finally made it to this stage of the plan, which is massive. You didn't see Jay on the plane…" His quiet trail off is what made Hailey finally stop the pacing, walk slowly and gently to the couch as Will lost himself in the memories of just a little while ago, those images of Jay, of everything going on, that it took him sometime to work up the stamina to speak again. By then Hailey was sitting on the couch, but giving him the space he needed. Unlike her, Will wasn't one for hugs and shoulders to cry on. Just like any other guy, he needed to feel things quietly, work through them, and then push forward like nothing was bothering him. It was a very guy thing to do. No, it was a very Halstead thing to do.
"Hailey, it was bad," was all he could get out before doing his best to blink away the tears, which next to never worked. In this instance, it failed him miserably.
"Will," she began with, extending a hand and he gently pushed her away. Instead she got up, found a tissue box in the far right corner of the room and retrieved it, waving it in his face as he quickly took the whole thing from her. She took a seat on the coffee table just in front of the couch, bent down so that her elbows rested on her legs. Eventually she placed a hand on his knee, quietly watching and allowing Will those moments of letting things out. He really needed to, Hailey was honestly waiting for the emotions to kick in. He'd been so stoic, so in control and in command, but she knew this time had to arrive. This was his brother after all, the last remaining family member alive. What they all were going through was intense, and every person needed to process things before they could advance to the next stage. All had their own timeline of things, Jay's going to be the very last one of them all; which was messed up considering he was the one going through everything. But still, when he got to this stage of things, they needed to be past this point of freaking out; so best to just get it over with now.
"Hailey, I don't want to talk about it right now," was all he needed to say. She got it. Having just done the same thing to him not that long ago, she wasn't going to push the very thing he stepped off from with her.
"That's okay, it's Jay. I get it. I think it's pretty obvious that we're all concerned about him," she spoke as she swiveled herself off the coffee table and around back to where she was on the couch.
"He has to pull through," was Will's parting comment for quite awhile. She hated that they were here, stuck in this dark, cold, sad looking room with no windows and zero inklings on how Jay was doing and how much longer he had to go. It all royally sucked. But for Jay, it was worth it. Everyone's fight looked different right then. Jay just had to allow people to dig around inside his head for countless hours, the two of them had to sit in this room that was giving off prison vibes. Everyone had a price to pay, and a cost of living. In the end, she continually reminded herself, it would all be worth it. That's what she clung to for another couple hours.
…
"Oh God, it's 7am," Will announced, stretching his arms out wide as he did his best to wake himself up. After everyone's mild meltdown over Bradford and his story and everything that went along with it, Will decided that a nap was in order. Hailey jokingly tucked him in, finding a blanket that was slightly dust covered, shaking it high above her head as the two of them had a good laugh over everything. In a place were filth and dust were the last things needed, it appeared these surgery waiting rooms were lacking in the cleaning department. Perhaps it was the timing of when they got into the room, or just the fact this room hadn't been used all that often, but despite the logistics it felt good to be somewhat happy, as happy and laughing as they could be in their situation. No one knew if or when they'd get this moment of levity, or just be able to be two happy, normal people. Part of them didn't want to have it be just the two of them, they wanted Jay happy and healthy and alive in those future scenarios. But then there was the other side of it all, which neither allowed themselves to go there. This surgery had to be successful, Jay had to come through. They'd already achieved so much, the bitterness of death was already going to be awful just as is. But have him be so close, to have come from so far away, only to give up and let go right then, it would be something they probably would never overcome. That was one most definitely the worst case scenario, and one that they did everything to ignore. It's not that they were in a state of denial, because they were fully aware of the realness and true possibility of that still coming true. But it did neither of them well to go there. And so, whether it was resting, or reading old magazines, or just sitting and taking about stupid things, they did whatever they could to keep those thoughts and ideas and possibilities at bay. The only vibes coming out of that room were worrying ones, and willing Jay to come back to them, to get past those OR doors alive and to a place where at last, after everything that they'd all been through, there could be a much deserved reunion.
"How long has he been back there," Hailey spoke while trying to stifle a yawn. While Will slept, she flipped through every single magazine that was housed in that space. Everything from celebrity news that amounted to nothing to house decorating tips that were probably deemed outdated now, she skimmed and sped read through it all. Honestly she didn't even know why there were even magazines or any kind of reading material in this place. Honestly they should just hook waiting loved ones up with sleep aids and blankets and TVs, because she just found it hard to believe that anyone enjoyed passing times like these with some leisurely, lighthearted reading. She had been on edge and constantly freaking out for almost twenty hours now, things only feeling to make her more antsy the longer this surgery went on for. She got that it was a huge operation and many things had to be done, but the lack of anything didn't sit well with her. Furthermore, the images that danced and trickled in and out of her mind had been fleeting things ever since they learned of Jay's diagnosis and only course of treatment. But ever since she saw him get pushed back into that area of the hospital, she could almost see what was really going on, feel what Jay was feeling, hear what Jay wasn't hearing, all of the senses were playing awful mind tricks on her. She'd done pretty well at masking things, but as they were pushing into the fourth hour of this thing, her defensive barriers were starting to show cracks.
"Hey, what's going on," Will spoke to her, sitting further up on the couch as he watched her shrug her shoulders, toss the magazines in the pile she'd formed on the floor.
"Hailey, you can talk. What's going on," Will pestered once more, kicking the blanket off of him completely before sitting and waiting for her to reply. She started talking about eight thousand times, getting as far as opening her mouth a little before closing right back up, and running things through her mind once more. Will just furrowed his forehead, raising an eyebrow before she finally spit the damn thing out.
"I don't know. I just…like…we've never talked about what he's going through right now," she finally breathed out, those final words ending almost like a question. As she finished speaking she folded her arms into her waist as she leaned forward a little, every part of her person told of a very nervous person. Will got it, he knew it was a whole lot to take in.
"What do you mean what he's going through," he inquired on, when in reality he knew exactly what she was referring to. He wanted her to verbalize it, she needed to get that out so it stopped tormenting her inside. So the two of them just looked at each other, egging one to say it while the other waited. They did this weird joking and serious and almost comical stare down for close to a minute before Will cleared his throat, gesturing a hand in Hailey's direction for her to speak up. She rolled her eyes in defeat, licking her lips before finally spitting things out.
"Like the surgery. I mean, we talked about it when we were planning things, but we never actually talked about it. Like…this is bad isn't it?!"
"I mean, it's not something people go through every single day," Will reassured.
"But it's something he needed today."
"Yeah but…like people use brain surgery as a joke. Like they can handle any other scenario as long as its' not brain surgery. Or if someone is struggling with a topic, they always say 'at least its' not brain surgery.' Like Will…it's serious, right?!"
"It is." Hailey inhaled a little, nodding before shaking her head before replying.
"Will, it's his everything. It's his brain. Like, what are we looking at after this?!" Right then, Will didn't see her as Hailey Upton, Chicago PD detective genius who could take on the world and not bat an eyelash. No, he finally started to truly see the human, calmer side of her. Not that he never had before, but this was a whole new part of her that rarely popped its head out into the world. Right then she was a worried wife, a wife that had risked her husband's life and well-being and took the gamble of the century to get him back to safe and qualified hands that could potentially save him. She knew nothing about what was going on, and this was her best way of asking for the kindergarten rundown of what he was going through and what would things look like after.
"Well," Will began, clearing his throat before he continued on. Hailey didn't dare move or say anything. She needed to hear this, needed to fully understand what was going on in that OR and what life could potentially be from here on out. She kind of got what the rundown of things was when all plans were put in place, but never had she asked about the specifics. So she made herself shut up, listen hard, because she needed to be prepared for what was coming next. She didn't care if it made her more uneasy or terrified for Jay, at least she would know instead of being knocked to her knees in total shock.
"So they are doing a craniotomy. It's a procedure where they cut into the skin and drill all the way to the skull and then remove a piece so they can get inside and actually visualize the brain and do what they need to do."
"But do they put the piece of bone back?" So much for her not speaking. Will was very patient, nodding as he allowed her to finished before moving on.
"They will if there isn't too much swelling. The brain is the only organ in the body that if it swells, there isn't room for that to happen. So he will have some swelling right after surgery, but that is okay. It's very normal to have that as they've been cutting and working on the brain to try and fix the issue."
"What happens if there is too much swelling?"
"Then they won't put the bone flap, that's what they call the piece of bone they removed, back in place. They will freeze that piece and wait till things die down and are under control before going back in and closing things up."
"Wait, so he might have things exposed?" Will smirked a little, trying to visualize that idea and chucking over how little she actually knew. Oh to be as lacking in medical knowledge as she was.
"No, they would close the skin and wrap things. You never leave anything like that exposed. You would be doing all kinds of harm. He would have a visible dent, but if this were to happen I think it would be a couple days later before he got the bone flap put back into place. Now, that is just for the aneurysm, the DAVF is not actually located in the brain, but they will still need to do the craniotomy. The dura is where his abnormality is. The dura is a thick membrane that acts as the final layer of protection for the brain. So after the skin and bone you then hit the dura." Hailey shivered at all the wording, the visuals, it was becoming way too much for her liking. She quite literally shivered at the thought of everything, Will sighing as he watched her reaction and before doing her very best to bottle things back up. They both knew it was a lot, but also understood that all of this had to be spoken, to be relayed, she and everyone else needed to get this.
"So they technically aren't operating on his brain," she interjected.
"Well, for the DAVF repair they aren't. But the aneurysm is in the brain, pretty deep. So for that one, yes they are inside the brain."
"Oh my God," she exhaled, sharply pulling the air right back into her as she told herself to put on the brave face, to just gut it out and get through things. Because Lord willing she was going to have to tell all of this to Jay one day. She eventually nodded for him to go on.
"Hailey, if this is too much we can talk about it later."
"No, I need to hear this. Is there only one bone flap they have to take out?"
"Well, given that the fistula was on one side of the head and the aneurysm on the other, they most likely had to take a flap off each side of his head."
"Great," Hailey mumbled, looking to Will before rolling her eyes. Leave it to Jay to make things especially difficult.
"What does recovery look like?"
"Well, that one Abrams and Bradford will have more insights on. He'll most likely need neuro checks round the clock, he's going to be on a lot of medications, and he'll probably still have the breathing tube. He's going to look a lot different then whenever you last saw him."
"If they had to take bone flaps off each side of his head…did they take all his hair?" Will reluctantly, slowly nodded.
"Most likely, it's needed for major surgeries like his. It's done for sanitary and just visual purposes. But it'll come back. Give it a few months and he'll be pretty back to normal. But for a little bit you'll be able to see the incisions and he'll have some bruising early on from the stuff they did, but eventually it'll all be covered. I'm not going to sugarcoat it Hailey, it's gunna be a little scary at first. But you'll get used to it, he'll get used to it. One one day it'll be an incredible story to tell people."
"I really hope we get to that point," she finally allowed to slip out, undoing her arms from her waist as she looked around the room, eventually finding her phone and reading the time off.
"Oh man, how was that only twenty minutes." She did her best to throw Will off that she was fine, that despite getting gut wrenching news on her husband's surgery and potential post-surgery condition she was totally fine. Will wasn't buying it and Hailey knew it, but as they were going this whole misadventure they didn't want to delve into the murky waters of serious talks. They just had to ride this out, and wait for their reunion with Jay. Once that arrived, they could start to deal with the aftermath of it all.
"I'm proud of you," he told her, watching her look at him funny as she finally stood up from her very uncomfortable chair situation. She'd managed to cram two chairs together to make a makeshift bed, it was a failed effort. It looked like her quick slumber way back at her place was going to have to do till whenever a moment of rest was granted to her. This morning was not that time.
"Why," she asked, waiting for him to get up with her.
"Because this is a lot, you're very correct on that. He is going through a lot. I guess in all the planning we just never thought to go over things. But he's gunna make it through. And he'll be able to boast about having been through brain surgery and making it to the other side. Which will only make his savior complex that much bigger."
"Ugh, don't encourage it," Hailey joked. Will smiled, getting up and offer her a great big hug, and who was she to ignore that.
"Hey, how about we get something to eat," Will offered as both their stomach growled at the exact same time. Goddess and the Baker had most certainly worn off by now. Hailey offered to stay behind as Will ran and got food from the hospital cafeteria, but he wasn't having any of it. Neither one of them needed to be alone right then. So despite her feelings of abandonment towards Jay as they left that waiting room and made their way to the food destination, Hailey was a little more comforted by the knowledge of things. None of them knew how much longer it was going to be, or what Jay's final outcome would entail. But as they picked out their morning coffee with a side of yogurt and cake, because they really needed the carbs right then, there was a moment or two of quiet confidence and acceptance of their current situation. Jay was in trouble, he had a very long road ahead of him, but at least he was here and was still trying and fighting to live. It was all they could ask for, and they were going to be there for him very single step of the way. Five hours clicked right by, both were quietly hoping there wasn't too much left to go.
…
Two Hours Later
The waiting had truly become eternal, the endless hours and countless glances towards the door were becoming more heartbreaking and dread as the seconds, minutes, and hours ticked by with no word or change in sight. The two of them in that room had really been put through the emotional wringer. They went from nervous to dread to longing before swinging back to dread and just on the crest of true fear when that 9am mile marker has passed by. Will was no longer the slumbering brother on the couch, or the studious reader perched comfortably in the prone position on the couch. Hailey had pushed her makeshift bed back in to two separate chairs resting against the wall. Her slow, steady pacing down the middle of the waiting room has resumed once more, the only exception being that her head was carried much lower than the last time, allowing her shaky hands to preoccupy themselves by twisting her lower lip round and round, into tight twists before letting them go and starting all over again. Will was just sitting on the edge of his seat on the couch, eyes daydreaming into awful scenarios and forecasts that he just couldn't shake. He never wanted to verbalize them, fearing that if he spoke them out into the world then some form of them would very likely be true. Hailey hadn't even noticed how quiet and still he'd become, they both were truly at their whits end with this whole thing. They had no clue what was waiting for them on the other end of the news, not realizing they were not reaching the finish line of something, but instead at the real starting line for this whole thing. Getting Jay to surgery was just part of the pre-game process, seeing him through surgery was just a step. A very big one, but one that needed to happen in order for the aftermath to play out. Keeping him alive, getting him to post-op milestones, weaning him off of things and helping him recovery enough to get out of this place, that was the true fight. Because there was a very real chance that despite making it through everything, if he never achieved those big goals then it was all for not. It felt wrong to remind them of that, seeing their minds in this never ending rat race of deciding which was more important or crucial to his story. It all mattered, but the true fight was just about to greet them. Whether they were ready for it or not. In seconds they'd learn that everything anyone could ever do for Jay had been completed. Now came the deciding factor of it all: would Jay keep up the fight and come back to them. None of them were truly ready, no one ever was. But that didn't matter. At 9:43am, a soft knock on the waiting room door gripped their attention, their nerves, and the pits of their stomachs as they watched the door slowly swing open, two very exhausted, depleted, and quiet surgeons nodded a head in greeting as they made their way into the room and sat down.
"Hey guys," Abrams greeted to the room, Hailey had been standing in place, eyes massive as her fingers could not let go of her lips. Will meanwhile was still very much on the edge of his seat, but sitting a little straighter. Abrams let out a very earned yawned, stretching his arms as he got more comfortable in the never comfortable hospital waiting room chairs. The mystery man in the room, who everyone knew by now was Bradford, just looked around, taking in his surroundings before nodding in acceptance. It had been a minute since he was back in the States, and had never been to Chicago before. He knew very well what the OR looked liked, but was very much still feeling that jet lag and unfamiliar vibes of being in a place you'd never been to before. He found Will's gaze, noting very quickly how uneasy he looked. He was a good judge of character, had been the bearer of many guilt stares in his life by now. The eyes were peering a little too much, the body slightly too tense and locked in specifically on him to be people waiting on news of a loved one, looking to be accusing him of doing this to his brother more than anything else. The look on Hailey's face sealed the deal. She put up a good effort, but he saw it, the twinge of anger and shock that the man with the worst medical past had just done something he was banned from for life it felt like. They were concerned about Jay, but in reality they both knew about him. All about him.
"I can explain," Bradford spoke up, taking the big announcement words right out of Abrams mouth. It was such a surprise, Abrams giving Bradford a cocked head and skyrocketing eyebrows as he whipped his head to his immediate left to look over at his surgery partner.
"I'm sorry, I should have been more forth coming with things. But I figured if I told you then you'd never let me help Jay. I get it, I would probably do the same thing. But you have to realize I'm one of few who can actually help him. Not many people are capable of that surgery." Hailey allowed herself a quick eye roll, she wasn't sure if this was his self boasting coming through or he was trying to defend himself. But in that moment it didn't feel right, but there was nothing they could do to change the past. What was done was done forever, now they just had to hope he didn't repeat history and choose to ignore Jay if, God forbid, something happened.
"How is he," Will spoke up, ending the slight stare off between Hailey and Tyson, pointing his question to the Med employed neurosurgeon and almost begging him to get things going. My how things changed, before this Hailey and Will were dying to get news on Jay, the person that mattered most in this whole thing. Now it felt like only one of them was still concerned about Jay's wellbeing while the other wanted to get into a fist fight with the guy that potentially just saved his life.
"Well," Abrams dragged out of himself, resting hands behind his head as he looked right to Will before continuing.
"We may be looking at history here." Will let out a very loud sigh of relief, Hailey forgetting her mental spat with Bradford, clasping her hands together before finding a seat to collapse on. Jay had made it through…maybe…hopefully, she just wanted to see him more then anything.
"He did make it through surgery. That was very hard, perhaps the hardest aneurysm clipping I've ever done and still had the patient alive. It's an absolute miracle he's still here and that he made it through that flight. Say what you want about Bradford, he did an amazing job patching that thing." Any form of praise from Abrams was a very high honor, but to also get a shoulder slap from the guy was basically unheard of. Now Will really wondered how bad things got in there and what still lay ahead for Jay.
"What about the other thing," Hailey piped up, everyone looking back to Bradford for that one. It had been awhile since he'd given one of these speeches. He felt very out of practice, taking a second to gather his words before quietly giving the report, a tinge of nerves we must add.
"We did manage to get the full fistula out of there. Just like the aneurysm, it was a very serious abnormality and it appeared the slow leak he had earlier was really coming undone when we landed."
"So that was the issue when you guys first landed," Will cut in, Bradford twitching in surprise over Will's quick remembrance of that time. That felt like a lifetime ago to Tyson, having to take a second or two before slowly nodding in agreement.
"I believe so, yes. That was the first operation we worked on. Upon opening him up we decided that that was the bigger issue. Both patches were falling off, but the bleed on the aneurysm was slower then the DAVF. Plus, repairing the DAVF was going to be faster. So we both got to it. I'm sorry we took so long," Bradford blushed at the end, Will nodded, beginning to feel a little guilty for coming at him so fast. It hadn't occurred to him that the guy could be incredibly nervous right now, perhaps uneasy having to re-live history a little. He wasn't perfect, he'd made mistakes before and also had to get back on the job right after properly messing up.
"Thank you Tyson," Will spoke up.
"I'm glad you were there to help him. We both are." Bradford looked over to Hailey who was too focused on Will to even look at him. He knew she was going to be the tougher one to break, the worst being Jay whenever he decided to wake up again. But he was willing to put in the work, right some wrongs and allow himself those moments of breakdown. He felt it was coming fast, so they needed to wrap this thing up.
"Where is Jay," Hailey asked finally, once again looking at Abrams for guidance.
"He's probably in his room now, I'll get a text when he's settled in. This is where things really start to get serious. He made it through, but he's definitely not out of the woods yet. He's still in a coma. He's got a lot of swelling. We've got him on everything that we can legally give him that will help, now it's just a waiting game. I have to warn you that despite all we've done, he still might not make it. We have to see how he does these first twenty-four hours. It's a lot, I have to warn you. He looks a whole hell of a lot different right now. But it is still him and knowing you Halsteads, you're not going to go down swinging."
"That is very much true," Will concurred.
"You just need to brace for everything. Like I said, this is potentially historic. This surgery has never been done before. So we need to prepare for anything. I.." And just as Abrams was going to continue on, telling the very scary tale that was Jay's fate, his phone buzzed in his phone. Call it premonition, call it fate, call it life not wanting to give any spoilers away, but Abrams ending was never spoken since Jay was ready for visitors.
It is here dear readers that life truly slowed to a crawl, where places and steps and images got extra fuzzy. So it is best to say things in very frank terms. Will, Hailey, Abrams, and Bradford all got up from their respective places in that waiting room, the two surgeon waited for the family members to gather their bags, and Jay's, and soon the four pack was making their way down the hall, back in the direction of those darn elevators they'd all ridden on hours before. Hailey glanced back towards the doors she practically banged on and pleaded to open hours ago, taking great comfort in knowing Jay was no longer in there, had moved on to better and brighter things; or so she aimlessly wanted to believe. The four of them did get on an elevator, take the short ride down one floor to the very quiet, dark, extra intense and serious ICU floor. There was a reason 'intensive' was the first word used in titling this place. Real struggles happened here, only the sickest and most dying of all medical cases were deemed worthy enough of being on this floor. When the four of them got off the elevator, you could just sense the fear, tepid anxiety, darkness and evil felt to be a constant rolling storm cloud just on the horizon. Few looked up from their duties, their loved ones, all allowing silence for the new comers to the battle of life. No one wanted another soul to become a member of the ICU club, but when that march down the dark, still halls occurred, people remained silent and dared to not look up out of respect and heartbreak over another one joining their ranks. Hailey and Will did look around, becoming more humbled and freaked out for what lay at the other end of the winding and slow and scary journey. All these people looked to be bad off, so the fact they were going further away from the mainstay of things and feeling to be getting deeper and deeper into the woods of intensive care, it felt like only the worst cases, or most daunting of fighters lived here. Abrams held them up in a room that had the plaque reading 'Room 656: Halstead.' Hailey looked to Will, who could only nod and look into the frosted glass walls and sliding door just in front of them. Neither of them could make him out, but both just ready for the other side to greet them, at last. It had been thirteen hours of him being airborne and neither of them having a clue what was going on, then add another seven hours of him being known to be in surgery and still not knowing what was going on. Two weeks had passed since they'd physically seen each other, they were more then ready to put planning, praying, pleading, and promises into reality. But they were not ready for what greeted them on the other side. Will had to scratch his first sight of Jay on that plane way back when as the worst images of his life. Because these, these first glances of his brother, barely hanging to life as all the world's medical devices, machines, tubes, and whatever else they threw at him to save his life evilly greeted them on the other side. This was a reunion none of them ever saw coming, and partly wondered what they'd done to earn such a thing.
"What did I do? What did I do," echoed down the hall as Hailey cried out to no one, a fitting question for the whole floor that none seemed to have the answer for. What did any of them do to get here? Why was life doing this to them and choosing to give them a fight they never saw coming nor ever wanted in the pages of their life? Outside the winds of changing weather had blown in a great storm, a perfect metaphor for what was going on inside. The storm was here, it was time to hunker down, wait, and pray the other side brought forth sun, good fortune, and healing to the one that mattered most. Jay seemed to never be leaving these stormy days. What they were painfully unaware of was that things were far from over. Jay was most certainly in an eye of a particularly destructive hurricane right then. He'd made it this far, but there was so much still yet to come. Brace, everyone. Jay is in the thick of things now.