Someone’s Someone

by Curious Girl

I've always been someone's someone. I will always be known as the sister of. The sister of the wonder child; the sister of the Nobel prize laureate; the sister of Princess Anastasia of Romanov; the sister of the next Queen of England; the sister of the Olympian... and the daughter of Troy and Gabriella Bolton. But I am so much more. I am Josephine Bolton.

15. Chapter 15

Nate Bolton has undergone through security driving program and passed with a triple A!

Nate Bolton is one step closer to becoming a Royal! Princess Charlotte's fiancé has just undergone a general programme of security training. According to security experts who were there the brother of The Duchess of Oxford passed the training with a triple A! "He did outstandingly well." One close source said. "As did his sister The Duchess of Oxford last year." He was offered some very special training to help deal with any attack or kidnap attempt. CBS News correspondent Charlie underwent similar training to show how the royals steer clear of trouble. Mick Croome used to teach police officers how to chase bad guys, but he's also shown members of the royal family how to avoid them. J-turns and Y-turns could prove valuable to Bolton. He got training on how to escape a dangerous situation from the driver's seat. In addition to mastering manoeuvres like the J-turn, where a reversing vehicle spins around 180 degrees to drive forward in the same direction without stopping, Nate learned how to drive at high speeds and safely get away from aggressive paparazzi, obsessed well-wishers, or someone with more nefarious intentions.

While Bolton may never need to pull off any of the moves, he was trained to do them. One of Bolton's hobbies include racing with sister Josephine quite regularly. According to our source, the two tend to race at Formula 1 racing track Silverstone with a bet set each time. Whoever loses has to make a donation to a prior chosen charity.

Pretty cool, huh?

The Boltons in general are a family who is very keen on security and being prepared. That's why the third Bolton triplet, Josephine is having security with her whenever she steps out of her home (which is still unknown) while the youngest Bolton children are safe at Le Rosey in Switzerland. It's rumoured that all the Bolton children, Royalty or not, have gone through a very similar security driving programme. And given the footage of the Boltons getting chased by the British paparazzi it's no wonder why.

---

Oliver

I wake up the next morning with Josephine's head laying on my chest and her right leg hooked over my hips. Her chestnut waves are cascaded all over my wide chest. Last night was a turning point. Something magical happened between us. I didn't know she was afraid of me leaving her until I've said it and saw her reaction. I saw her emotions bubbling under the surface. Her lips trembled, her fingers shook and her eyes... her eyes were wide open in shock.

I said those words not knowing what reaction it would create. But then she asked me to repeat it...and repeat it... and I promised it from the bottom of my heart the whole night long. Last night was not hard sex, it was slow prickling love that we made.

And I think she felt it, too.

For the first time, she didn't ask me to go faster or harder... No, she allowed herself to feel what I feel. She allowed the feelings to take over. She let go...

I brush through her chestnut coloured waves that feel like silk. Her hair is always so soft and glossy... I wish she would let go more often. I wish she would put down her armour and trust me completely.

"Collapse into me. Just once. I promise you'll never have to fall again." I whisper as the dawn starts filling the bedroom. "I long to exist in the spaces of your heart where no one has ever been." My mother always told me that I wear my heart on my sleeves but at times like these I fear it's my biggest flaw. Because Josephine isn't ready to hear what I'm longing to say.

Suddenly, her breathing on my chest changes. Shit! Did she hear me? Did I ruin everything between us?!

She lifts her head off of my chest and I miss the weight immediately. I wish I could have cherished this a bit longer. Just a day ago, she was still sleeping on her side of the bed and now... now she's sleeping on me. Something definitely changed yesterday.

"Morning." She greets me with a smile that makes my heart skip a beat.

She didn't hear me. "Morning."

"What time is it?"

I look behind her on her nightstand. It's not even five thirty in the morning yet. "You still have twenty minutes before the alarm goes off."

"Good..." she licks her lips, "I did some thinking..."

Oh boy, this could go either way. "Yes?"

She rests her back against the headboard of the bed, not covering her nude boobs from the view. "Yeah... how would you feel about working for my brother-in-law?"

Now that's the kind of thinking I didn't expect her to do. "What?"

"For Wlad. Sasha is working for him as well. Wlad owns a security firm. Ralph, my security man and driver, is from that firm. How would you feel about working for him? You could do it part-time. You have the physique for it. I could casually drop your name, you could have a job interview-"

"No." I interrupt her. Wladimir would look into my background faster than I could react. He would get suspicious that I don't have an ID or a passport. He would make sure I'm back in Brazil before I can take another breath. "No, Wlad is not an option."

To my surprise she nods, "Okay. I just thought I'd say it anyway..."

I sigh, you hate disappointing her. "Josephine,"

"No, it's fine. Really. I understand you want to keep a piece of independence and masculinity. I mean, living here with me must be hard enough for you. Especially given the fact that your parents live in a Favela in Rio. You grew up with guns and drug criminality... and came here to provide your family a better future. You're fighting for them. You send them money every month and not just a few peanuts but 90% of your income. You'd rather starve yourself than take away a penny from them."

Does she really got me figured out so quickly?

"It's incredibly stupid but also very very admirable in a twisted, unhealthy kind of way. You should take the help that I'm offering but you refuse each time I make a suggestion that could solve your issue. I could have them here by this evening, but somehow you are even more stubborn than me."

I lick my lips. I can't tell her I'm here illegally. "Josephine..."

She reaches out her left hand and brushes through my hair, "You've asked me to open up to you and now I'm asking the same back. Tell what's going on here. Tell me why you can't take my help."

Shit... "I can't."

"No, you don't want to. You've asked me for more openness and to let you in, you called me a bloody closed oyster but it's you that is the oyster here, Oliver." She hisses at me, her sky blue eyes turn dark in anger.

"I wish I could-"

"Wishes don't come true. Either you want to share your secret with me or you don't." She crosses her arms in front of her chest. "I've shared some of my secrets with you. I allowed you into my home, a place that's sacred to me. You met my best friend! You met my sister! You-"

"You have your secrets and I have mine." I interrupt her. "I don't pressure you so don't pressure me."

She sighs.

"Okay?"

"Okay." She mumbles and uncrosses her arms. She defeated.

I won. I can't believe I actually won against Josephine! This feels like winning the lottery!

"Wipe that grin off of your lips." She hisses at me.

I lick my lips and try to keep myself together. "I'm just asking you to respect my boundaries."

"I thought there were no boundaries for the next 13 weeks." She challenges me.

"Boundaries and secrets are two different pairs of shoes."

"Fair enough." She says before pulling back the blanket and climbing out of the bed. "I'm going to shower and that's not a secret."

I watch how her hips swing from left to right as she walks into the en-suite bathroom. She respects me and my secret. Maybe one day I'm going to tell her.

I get up from the bed and decide to join her under the shower. The white marbled bathroom is already filling with steam as she likes to shower with hot water. I walk past the white ottoman before stopping in front of the shower that has glass doors. I watch how the water runs down her glorious naked body. She's the most beautiful woman on earth.

I open the glass doors and get into the shower as she rinses the shampoo out of her hair. I wrap my arms around her from behind. She winces before leaning back and placing her hands on my forearms that hold her tight. "Are we going to talk about what happened last night?" I ask her before resting my chin on her head.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. Last night was different than the nights before." Because we made love and she felt it. She made love as well.

"Well, yeah of course it was." To my surprise she doesn't even deny it. Maybe this was our turning point. She opens my arms and turns around in my embrace before tilting her head slightly back to look into my eyes. Her irises shine in a cobalt blue. I've never seen that colour before. It's a sky blue most of the time but when she desires me they turn into a royal blue but cobalt... Cobalt is completely new territory. She felt it too. Last night was magical.

"That's all you've got to say?"

She rolls her cobalt blue eyes. "What do you want me to say? Let's repeat last night? Let's stay in bed all day?"

"Kind of, yeah." I say with a shrug.

She sighs, "You should know me better by now. Last night was last night. It won't be repeated because it can't. It's in the past. I enjoyed it, I mean clearly I did, you heard me coming the whole night but that was it."

No. That's not it. This is the start, not the end. "Josephine,"

"Look, I agreed to letting you get to know me and yesterday was a pretty big step for me but don't expect them to happen daily or weekly. Let's not make a habit of that but instead continue with the fucking."

"This is not how this is going to work. You need to sacrifice as much as I do."

She crosses her arms in front of her chest. Shit. That was a bad move. "As far as I'm concerned I am the only one making sacrifices here. You live with me not the other way around."

She's pulling up her walls again and she wants a fight. Well, I'm not going to give that to you. "You enjoyed last night."

She presses her lips together until they're a thin line.

"Josephine,"

But her mouth stays shut.

Fine. She wants it that way, she's going to get it that way. I turn around and open the door of the shower.

"Wait, where are you going?" She asks me confused.

"Until you can admit how you really felt about last night, I am on a strike."

"Excuse me?!" The shock is clearly audible in her voice.

I step out and close the door. "You heard me. No sex until you can admit it."

Her eyes are wide, "You're not serious!"

"I am and you'll find out how."

She fakes a laughter. "This won't last. You're already horny." Her cobalt blue eyes stare at my erection.

"I've got hands and I know how to use them." I used them before I knew how incredible Josephine in bed is and I can use them again.

"Wow, you're really keen on pulling this off. Well, okay. I'm up for the challenge. I'll guarantee you'll be begging for my pussy by the end of the week at last if not sooner. I am giving you until tonight, actually."

I'll make sure she will be the one begging for my cock. "We'll see."

"You're pretty confident for someone that couldn't get enough of me last night."

"I give the compliment back." I say as I turn on my heel and walk out of the bathroom.

I have a feeling this is a challenge I might actually win.

It would be the first.

Josephine

It's been just a few hours since Oliver decided to go all abstinent on me but I'm slowly starting to feel the withdrawal - and it's only lunchtime! I didn't realise how accustomed I grew to him and the way we interact with each other each morning - something he calls a routine and I guess it is. Morning sex, shower sex, actually showering, getting dressed, having breakfast and go to work. That's how it's been in the last weeks... and I didn't realise how much I like it.

Maybe that's why I'm on my third coffee already and working like a maniac. My thoughts keep going back to Oliver's words.

Until you can admit how you feel about last night, I am on a strike.

I don't even know what he means! Sure the sex was amazing but it's always amazing! It was slower than usual and he was gentler but that doesn't mean it was worse! It was actually pretty amazing. It was just different than the other nights before. He caressed me like I was a delicate flower or made of glass but I let him. I didn't urge him to go faster or be harder because I actually enjoyed the emotions his touch created within me. I enjoyed feeling connected to him not just physically... it was like I looked into my mirror. What I felt, he felt - and vice versa. It was bloody amazing! It was-

"Fuck!" I think out loud and cover my mouth a second later.

"What?" Claire, my desk neighbour asks me.

I shake my head, "Nothing."

Did we make love? Is this gentle, caressing, slow fucking called making love?! Is this what he wants me to admit to him?

I don't love him! I don't even know what love is! But I sure as hell don't love Oliver! This must have been a mistake. He surely doesn't want me to say that.

I pull the drawer of my desk open and get out my iPhone. I need to question an expert on this. "I'll be right back." I say to Claire before I walk into one of the relaxing rooms that my parents have brilliantly thought of when building their firm. Luckily it's lunchtime so I have the whole room for myself. I lock the door and sit down on one of the many lounge chairs that are placed in this room. Relaxing music is playing in the background and there are many plants around me. It's used to meditate and to relax by the employees but I've never used it.

Until today.

I scroll through my contact list and decide to call my brother. Hopefully, he's not on some royal engagement.

To my surprise he picks up after the first ring. "Are they here? Did it start?"

"What?" I ask him confused.

"Rory. Did she go into labour?!"

"No!" I cry out.

"Oh, I thought you'd be calling me because of her."

"No, I'm not. Imagine that I want to call my brother for my own selfish reasons."

"What's up?"

"Can you talk freely?"

"No. Give me a second to find somewhere private. I'm in Clarence House, getting my second lesson in Royalty. Been here the whole fucking day so far..." He mumbles. "I just need to find an empty room, hang on."

I can hear how he opens door after door and walks down a hallway. "Have you met Charles?"

"Are you insane?! Of course not! I'm left with his butler or something."

"What's the name of the butler?"

"Wilhelmina something."

"That's his private secretary not his butler. It's actually a very great honour of him to have chosen to borrow you his private secretary for the day."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I think the chances of a Dukedom just increased to fifty-fifty." I say as I hear him walking into a room and locking it.

"Okay, I can talk."

"I'm going to ask you this once and I do not want you to mock me in any way and after today we will never talk about it again."

"Oh, this sounds serious. Are you alright?"

"When did you know you were making love to Charlotte instead of fucking her?"

My brother bursts out of laughter. I knew this would happen. "What?"

"Nate,"

"No, no... are you for real?"

Obviously. It's why I asked him this question.

"Okay, man I guess you are... Let's see.. uhm... this is kind of hard to explain."

Of course! If it was easy I hadn't asked him!

"So, Char and me... we don't fuck, I'm afraid. So I can't really... I can't really help you, sis."

Fuck, I knew it! I should've called Ana. There was a fifty-fifty chance between them and I chose wrong. I thought Nate could explain this to me from a male point of view. Plus, Ana's heart is living in her pussy so she would explain it to me using fucking unicorns. "Never mind-"

"No, no! I will help you. I am determined to find some sort of explanation to this..."

I wait for another minute but when nothing comes out I give up. "Nate, I'm not one of your future children."

"Yeah, I know but this is great practice. Hold on, I'll find the right words..."

"I'm going to hang up now. Remember this conversation never happened." I say before hanging up.

Nate's already in Daddy-mode. I should've called Ana.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Perhaps I should call Chat instead of Ana. Della and Mum as well as Rory are out, those three won't help me. Della married the first man she slept with, she doesn't know what fucking is - and the same goes for my younger sister. And Mummy... the second I ask her for romantic advice she starts planning a wedding. She would talk to Daddy about it and he would look into Oliver in his typical NSA way. No, that's not happening.

So, Char or Ana?

I sigh before calling Charlotte.

"Hi!" She greets me after the second ring.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Good. I'm craving corn and tuna today. Yesterday it was all the bell peppers and today it's corn and tuna. Kind of crazy, I'm telling you. I've lost all of the control of my body."

One of the reasons I never want children. "I need your advice. Can you talk?"

"Yeah, I'm with Rory at Frogmore. Shall I put you on speaker?"

"No! Just... I want this to stay between us. Go somewhere you can talk."

She sighs and I can hear how she rolls her eyes. "I'm in the kitchen. Rory's working in the living room on her three books. Did you know she was writing three books?!"

"No..."

"Crazy Medical stuff. Her whole living room is filled with research and charts about it. George's at a King's meeting with Daddy. He's going to get eased into his role slowly..."

"Does it bother you?"

"No, I'm not jealous at all. All I want is Nate to get the title of a Duke so we can live happily in Windsor. I'm the spare anyway. I never had a chance of the throne, not really. And that's okay. It has given me far more freedom than George. No one wants the job of the monarch. Not really. It means you're sitting in your office all day and do ceremonial meetings. You live in a home that has eyes and ears in the walls. Staff talks and they worry. But here in Frogmore and hopefully at Adelaide Cottage there's just us. It's quieter-"

"Char,"

"Yeah, sorry. We're talking about you." She snaps out of it. "Ask and I'll listen." She says with a full mouth.

"What's the difference between fucking and making love?"

She chokes on her tuna-corn mixture. "I'm sorry?"

"I won't repeat myself. I already asked Nate but he's already in Daddy-mode so he's clearly no help."

"Oh, really? That's so sweet. We just had our eight week scan this morning!"

"Char,"

"Yeah, sorry. So, the answer to your question is actually quite simple."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're bloody in love with Oliver. That's why you're asking me this."

"I am not in love with him!" I protest.

"Really? Then why are you asking me this? Or is your mind stuck on Ed?"

Ed has definitely been on my mind but not as much as Oliver. "No I'm asking because Oliver went cold turkey on me this morning. He's on a sex-strike."

Charlotte laughs, "What? Why? What did you do?"

"He wants me to admit something I refuse to."

"I need a bit more context to this."

"Last night... we..." I growl, "I don't even know how to explain this."

"Start at the beginning. What happened after our dinner?"

"I picked him up on his way home and then we had amazing sex in the shower and we ate Crème Brûlée afterwards on the couch. I showed him my photos, the secret ones."

"What?! Not even I got to see these."

I shrug, although she can't see me. "He somehow convinced me. He asked for more and for me to hold up to our arrangement. So I showed him the photos and then we looked at the ones from last weekend. We were in Lapland."

"You saw Northern Lights?"

"Yes and it was really amazing... I'll show you the photos when you come by." I smile at the memory. "Anyways, we got into talking and the next thing I know, I am kissing him and undressing him. And then..." I gulp. I will never forget his words.

"And then what?"

"He said he won't leave me." I whisper. "It caused some kind of reaction within me." One that I still can't put into words.

"Aw! Now, look at that. I told you he won't leave you but you didn't believe me. Yet when he says it you go all romantic."

I roll my eyes. "I wouldn't call it romantic."

"But after those words you guys had sex."

"Yeah but it was different somehow. Slow... gentle... different. Is this slow fucking called making love?"

Char is silent on the other end of the line.

"Char?"

"The way I see it, you can still have hard fucking and call that making love. It doesn't have to be slow and gentle. God knows Nate and I have wild sex."

"Too much information."

"Anyways, what I'm saying is that it's about the feelings you have for your partner. The way you show it is different every time but the feelings... those remain."

"That's not really helpful."

"Okay... How about you compare Oliver to the other men you slept with. Is that different?"

"Well yeah of course. I didn't know the other men as well as I know Oliver by now."

"What about Ed?"

"I don't compare these men. It's unfair to both."

"Because you feel different about them?"

"Because they each know me differently." I answer and run my fingers through my chestnut waves. "How's this suppose to help me figure out what love making is?"

"What do you feel for Oliver?" She asks me.

I shrug, "I don't know. I feel all sorts of things."

"Could it be you fell in love with him?"

"No. That's impossible. I don't love. I fuck."

"Yet you guys seemed to have done something differently last night." She points out.

I sigh, "I think Oliver is seeing this arrangement differently than me. He wants to know what my favourite bloody ice cream is!"

"Walnut with a swirl of figs. Easy."

"Yeah you know that because you're my best friend. But he... he doesn't have to know that! What difference does it make if he knows? He will still fuck me the same."

"Jo, he won't go to the tabloids with this information."

"That's what he said yesterday as well."

"Then believe him. Trust him!"

"I find it a bit hard to do that." I mumble.

"Well maybe you should have a little more faith. As far as I'm concerned this man got nothing to loose except for you. He's here all alone with his family in Rio. His only friend is his roommate Finn. You're all he has. He won't jeopardise this. You're too important to him."

"Do you think he has developed some sort of romantic feelings for me?"

"I can't answer that. I'm not him."

"I asked him not to."

"Jo, emotions are not light switches. You can't turn them on and off whenever you please. They're there. They're always there."

"How was it with you and Nate?"

"As I said. They're always there. I tried to ignore them and therefore fucked every man I could find but that obviously didn't work. And then there was Nate who tried the same strategy for years. We didn't want to admit what we felt for each other because it would have meant to risk our friendship."

"But it worked out for you guys."

"Yeah but Nate and me are not Oliver and you."

"I called him my friend the other day."

"That means you trust him, don't you?"

I shrug again, "I trust him but I don't trust me."

"I don't understand."

"Oliver makes me feel this... this flux of emotions that I can't even name. And it scares the shit out of me while at the same time calming me down. It's weird."

My best friend is silent for a while. "You'll figure it out." She says eventually and I know she's grinning. I can hear it in her voice.

"I don't like this. This is why I only do one-night-stands. This is why I only fuck. But then Oliver comes along and he turns my whole sexual world upside down."

"He met your parents yesterday at Luigi's, didn't he? He was their waiter."

"Yes. He said he couldn't stop staring at my Mum because she was so similar to me. No one has ever said that! I look like my father not like my mother!"

"But your persona is more like her than him."

"That's what he said as well. How can he say that after just a five minute interaction?!"

"Because he knows you."

"But I didn't say anything!"

"Sometimes it's in what you do, not what you say. You're your mother's daughter. Maybe you should talk to her."

"No, she doesn't understand this."

"Okay... Well, what are you going to do about that sex strike?"

"Play along. He won't be able to do that forever. I'm too hot for him to ignore."

My best friend giggles, "You're like a kindergarten child. Just tell him you liked the love making yesterday and let it go!"

"So, it was love making, wasn't it?"

"I don't know. Your definition of love can be very different from mine. But something was different. Something happened and you need to admit that. Otherwise you guys won't have sex until this arrangement is over."

"He won't last that long."

"I wouldn't provoke him. He's a stubborn and proud man. He won't give in and he's definitely up for the challenge."

"How come you know him so good? You've only met him twice."

"Because unlike you, I talked to him. I suggest you do the same when you see him again. Sex is not everything in life."

"I'm beginning to realise that."

"I feel like you feel lust for Oliver but he feels something completely different for you."

"Yeah, I think so, too. I think we're not on the same page and something has to change." He has to realise that this will not go beyond lust.

"Do you emphasise with him?"

"Sure. But I don't feel pity. And he doesn't either. He's not ashamed of where he comes from and I'm aware it's totally different than my background."

"Do you think your relationship is based on lust?"

"We're not dating. But whatever this is, no I don't think it's just based on lust. I mean, when I first met him I didn't even pay much attention to his looks." I explain as I remember how he looked like when I first met him. I remember his green lumberjack shirt and the ripped jeans. His clothes hid his body instead of highlighting it. I also still remember his chin long beach blonde hair and the beard. The only that hasn't changed since then is his green eyes and his attitude. He's the only one who has ever challenged me and actually won. "But he caught my attention anyway. Not with his looks but with his words."

"And has that interest decreased or increased?"

"I don't know. I don't ask him about his life much."

"Well maybe you should. Because that's how you start a conversation."

"We communicate quite well."

"In the bedroom, yeah but everywhere else? Josephine, Oliver's not asking for your heart, he's just asking you to be a bit more open. Give him the basics if he wants to know them and ask him about his. Form a relationship to him. Let him in."

"And what if he sells that stuff to some tabloid or blog?"

"If you're really worried about that than you really don't know him at all."

I bite on my lower lip. Oliver wouldn't do that. He has had the chance plenty of times but didn't do it. "It's hard for me to trust someone."

"I know but he is not your Dad. Oliver won't disappear from one day to another. He won't leave without saying goodbye. Have a little faith. You don't have to tell him everything about you but just give him something otherwise he might really leave you and never come back."

I sigh, "Okay, I'll try."

"Good. I've got to go. I'll see you on Rory's baby shower on Friday." She says before hanging up.

I let my eyes wander through the little jungle that my parents have set up to form a sanctuary. Charlotte wasn't really a big help either. She was more helpful than Nate but she couldn't answer my question as well.

Maybe the only person who can help me, is me.

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. I'm not in love with Oliver. I know, I'm not. I'd feel butterflies, see unicorns and think Oliver was some kind of saint. But I don't. Because that would be utopian. Oliver's not a saint and neither am I. He's a human with flaws, though I don't know which but I know they're there. Maybe I should ask him about his fears, his dreams, his wishes in life... Perhaps Char is right. Maybe I should start forming a relationship to him. At least some kind of relationship that's not just sexual.

I agreed to more and maybe I should start delivering that.

Oliver

The lift moves up very slowly. I don't know what to expect when I come home. Josephine didn't call me the whole day and I refused to text her anything. Even the 25 minute walk from Luigi's to here didn't clear my head.

Josephine needs to see that there's something between us. But maybe pushing her to the realisation is not the right way. Perhaps this strike was a bad idea.

Maybe I should've tried more talking.

The doors of the lift open with a quiet ping and I step out. I stripe off my sneakers before walking down the hallway. The lights are already on as it's past ten in the evening. My eyes stop at Josephine, who is sitting at the square walnut dining table with her eyes focused on her MacBook Pro. She is still in that a pair of dark washed jeans and a grey T-shirt with a deep v-neck that she wore this morning to work.

She doesn't seem pissed. Maybe we've reached a turning point.

Suddenly, her blue eyes shoot up. "Good, you're home." With that she closes her MacBook and rises from the chair. "I've been waiting for you."

"You have?"

"Yes. We're going to Buckingham tonight."

I frown, "What?"

"You said you've never been there so I pulled a few strings and got us an empty building. We'll have the whole palace for ourselves as most people have already gone home. Are you hungry?"

What's going on here? "Josephine,"

"I take that as a yes. I made us some wraps to eat while we stroll through the hallways. I'll show you where I broke the heel of my Louboutin stilettos at Rory's wedding reception." She says with a grin.

"Wait, we're going out?" I ask her confused. She booked the whole Buckingham Palace for us to visit?!

"Yes. That's what you want, right? Dates and stuff. I'm willing to compromise."

"And Buckingham Palace is your location for a date?"

She nods, "Yeah. Why not? No one will see us there and the people who do won't say a word."

"But it's bloody Buckingham Palace! I thought we would be going to the movies or walk through Hyde Park but not the home of the King!"

"That's Clarence House. And I can't go to the movies or walk through Hyde Park without getting recognised. Buckingham is safe."

She still doesn't want anyone to see us together. "So, I'm still your dirty little secret."

"You're not. I told you that last night."

"You also said you don't make love but last night you bloody did!" It bursts out of me.

"That's not what happened!"

"Did it not?! Didn't you come harder than ever before?! Didn't you ask me to make you that promise over and over again?! Didn't you keep asking for more?!" I slam the facts into her face. I don't need to tell her the way she looked at me. I don't need to tell her that her eyes mirrored my love. I don't need to tell her she loves me because it's bloody obvious!

She flushes at my words. "Oliver,"

"I won't fucking leave you, Josephine! So why don't you just give me something to hold on to as well!" I yell at her.

"That's not fair. This is not easy for me. I can't just tell you the story of my life."

"Why not?! You know I won't tell anyone. I've signed a fucking NDA and gave you my word! I won't talk. You can trust me! Why don't you trust me?!"

"Because the last man I've trusted left me from one day to another and was gone for two fucking years!" She explodes.

"What?" I ask her confused. I knew some ex of hers hurt her! I knew it!

She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. "My Dad left my siblings and I when we were 13. Nate, Rory and I went on a school trip to France for two weeks and when we came back he was gone." She whispers in a broken voice. Her lower lip starts trembling and her sky blue eyes fill with moisture.

I embrace her without thinking twice. I wish I could take that trauma away from her. I hold her tightly as if I could protect her from this painful memory. I had no idea her father is the reason for her walls. He was the last person I'd expect it to be.

"I don't need your comfort." She sniffs but I don't even think about letting her go. She needs me now more than ever. A moment later Josephine embraces me as well. Her nails dig into my shoulder blades and her arms feel like a snake trying to choke me but I don't care. She could kill me and it wouldn't bother me. She needs this even though she doesn't know it yet.

I can feel how her chest rises and falls with a shaky sensation. She doesn't sob but I know she's crying in my arms. She's hurting.

And my heart bleeds for her.

I had no idea her father is behind all of this. I thought it was an ex-boyfriend, some asshole that hurt her but never in the world would I have guessed it was her father. She seemed to love him so much. Her relationship to him seemed fine and loving. She never sounded angry or hurt when she talked about him.

How the hell could she hide her pain so well?

I rub circles on her back, lost for words... seeing her in pain is like thousands needles in my heart.

"I'm not him." I whisper after five minutes of silence. My shirt is stained with her tears. They feel like poison against my skin. I never want to see her cry again.

"I know you're not him but you're... you're just like him."

"I don't see a connection between us." I breathe out confused. We definitely don't share the same background nor do we look alike. There's nothing but Josephine that connects us.

"You give me a sense of peace and loyalty... You make me want to trust you even though I'm afraid this might backfire. You make me want to tell you things I've never told anyone of my other friends. You make me want to share my deepest secret. You make me vulnerable but you also make me feel strong. You make me feel so much that I can't even put it into words properly. You-"

I shut her up with my lips. She loves me as well. She just doesn't know it yet. This is new and confusing for her. It's going to take her time to see what I already see but I will give her that time.

She pulls away, "This is my secret. This is why I don't do dating. This is why I enjoy meaningless sex. I don't like to talk about my feelings or motives but you... everything's different with you." She mumbles into my chest.

My cock hardens at her words. Shit, that's definitely not the right time for sex. I just got her to open up to me.

She giggles and leans back in my embrace but doesn't move her hands. The cobalt blue from this morning shines back at me. I could drown in those eyes and it would be the best death of all. "I see, your motives are pretty clear."

What can I say? "I miss the intimacy." It's been not even 24 hours and I'm already giving up.

"I miss it, too. I think we should call off the strike and wave with white flags. I'm going to be more open now, I promise."

"I think that's a good idea. No strike."

"No strike." She agrees with me and shows me a small smile. "But I would have won."

I chuckle at her answer. Of course she has to make her point. "Because I would have let you." I answer honestly. I'd do anything for this woman because she holds my heart without even knowing it. "Can I ask you something about your Dad?"

"Yes."

"Why did it take two years for him to come back? Where did he go? What did he do? Why did he leave you in the first place?"

"That's actually four questions and I can't answer one of them. If I did, you'd have to be married to me." She says before licking her lips. "That's the rule in the Bolton household. Some secrets are meant to stay within the family."

I didn't expect her to be so upfront about this topic. But then again, Josephine has voiced her categorical denial when it comes to marriage and kids more than once. Perhaps that's why this seems like a normal topic to talk about with me. "But I've signed a NDA."

She shakes her head softly, "Not even that helps you now. It's a ring on your left ring finger that's the key not some paper you can destroy."

"But people get divorced all the time."

She shows me a soft smile, "Not Boltons. They stay together till death do them apart."

Josephine

I run my fingers through his beach blonde hair and feel how my fingertips tingle from the contact. I can't believe I just told him my bigger secret and fear. I didn't want to but somehow it left my lips before I realised what was happening and now that it's out in the open I feel so much better.

It's like some kind of weight has been lifted off of my chest.

"Is this why you never want to get married? Because then you would have to share your secrets?"

How does he do that? How can he read me so easily? I lick my lips. "Buckingham Palace opens its door for us in half an hour. I suggest we go there now." I say before releasing myself out of his embrace.

"Wait, this conversation isn't over!"

I look over my shoulder, "I told you my biggest secret and didn't ask of you to do the same. That means I get to close the conversation whenever I please to. So, do you want a tour of Buckingham or not?!"

Suddenly, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back into his arms. The way his sea foam coloured eyes stare into mine make my legs feel like jelly. "You don't want to know my secret?"

"I've told you mine and when the time comes you'll tell me yours. I've come to terms with the fact that pressure doesn't break you, Oliver. Just like it doesn't break me. That's just one of the many similarities that we share."

He presses his forehead against mine. "Thank you for sharing your secret with me."

His breath is warm against my face. It awakes something within me that I only ever felt with him. "It's not like you won't return the favour." I breathe into his face as I get lost in his sea foam coloured eyes.

"I'll tell you but just give me some more time." He asks me. His voice is the only clear thing I hear as I get sucked deeper into the flux of emotions he's making me feel so easily.

"I can do that." I promise him before I kiss him. My hands run down his strong chest as our tongues dance with each other. I want more... Gosh, I want so much more!

But he sucks in my lower lip and slowly pulls away. "Buckingham Palace, huh?"

Buckingham is the last thing on my mind right now. "Yes. A private tour by me."

"I hope you're going to tell me some secrets."

Now that the biggest one is out, the rest seems peanuts. "Every single one I know." I promise into his sea foam coloured eyes.

He smiles before caressing my face with his left hand. The touch of his fingers make my toes curl and a moan escape my lips. His eyes scan my face is as I was a photograph that he wants to memorise. He has never looked at me like that.

I don't know what to do with that.

I lick my lips, "Let's go." I say and turn on my heel.

He grabs my hand and I expect him to pull me back into his arms again but instead he intertwines his fingers with mine.

Oliver

Being here, walking through these hallways that are filled with so much history, feels surreal. But being here all alone with Josephine feels even more surreal. There are no security men, no one from the royal household - not even a cleaning staff that looks after these 775 rooms. We really do have the whole palace to ourselves. I don't think I really truly realised how powerful Josephine is until now. She cleared the whole palace with a bloody phone call! That's nothing compared to planing a trip to Finland within an hour.

We stop at white double doors on the second floor. The hallways are all carpeted with a red carpet but the rooms have usually hardwood floors. I guess because the Queen didn't want to hear all the people walking through the hallways all the time. "And this is where the world's most famous balcony is." She says before opening the door.

As promised, she has told me all kinds of stories and secrets that I would never be able to get from anywhere else. She told me where they took the official photos of the Duke and Duchess of Oxford, except she called them Rory and George, she told me how the page boys and the bridesmaids made a mess on the floor. She told me how funny the King can be and how normal the royals actually are. They're a big family who happen to be known by the whole world but when they're together, they're not much different than my family and I. All these stories made me miss my family but I tried to not think of them too much.

It's a huge square shaped room with a wall of transom windows in the front. An oval table is in the middle and a bar to my right.

"We've had quite a few drinks here before stepping on to the balcony." Josephine says with a giggle. We have walked through the palace hand-in-hand. It was the most affectionate she has ever been with me in public.

"How was it standing on there?" I ask her. That balcony kiss is the best selling photo up until today. Up until the photo of the future King and Queen of England standing in front of the steps of the Lindo Wing with their baby. That will be another bestseller, no doubt.

"Intimidating. Unreal. Bloody amazing and scary at the same time." She says before walking over to the doors that lead to the balcony. She unlocks them and opens them wide before stepping out. It's already dark outside and the streets are nearly empty.

I'm not usually one for heights but I decide to follow her outside. There view is bloody amazing! I can look all the way down The Mall and see Admiralty Arch at the end of the road. Green Park is to my left and St. James's Park is to my right. I can even see the London Eye on the other side of the Thames.

"Wow..." I breathe out, totally stunned by the view.

"Now imagine that being filled with millions of people everywhere you look. Trafalgar Place, Admiralty Arch, all the way to the London Eye that was illuminated in white and red. The words Congratulations to the Duke and Duchess of Oxford! were written in red letters on the London Eye. Even Piccadilly Circus was filled with people who were waving the British flag. It was just stunning to see all this love given from the Brits to my sister and brother-in-law." She smiles as she remembers the day. "It was a day that changed the monarchy forever."

I look at Josephine who is illuminated by the soft lightning coming from the lights downstairs. "What did you guys talk about when you were standing here?" I ask her. I've seen the footage online when the bride and groom stepped on to the balcony and everyone followed. It was the Royal Family to the left and the Boltons at the right side, next to the bride.

I never would have thought I'd be ever standing here. Because this balcony is normally forbidden territory - but not when you're with an unofficial member of the Royal Family.

Josephine giggles, "The twins and Eli pointed out how the people looked like tiny needles and how loudly they were screaming. Mummy and Daddy just soaked it all in. Nate joked that one day he would be standing here again - of course now I know it's the truth. Della and Wlad didn't say anything at all. Ana and Sasha are kind of used to it as they're Royals themselves."

"Isn't it weird that Russian Royalty lives in England?"

"Not for them. They don't want to move back to Russia. London is their home. It's where their family is. I wouldn't want to cut ties with my roots just because of a sudden title as well."

"What about you? What did you think standing up here?"

She licks her lips, "That's going to sound very corny."

"Try me."

"That this is Rory's destiny. She was so happy on that day. She was so calm... she wasn't even nervous walking down the aisle! She was... she is the most perfect future Queen of England. She found her purpose."

"Will you ever call her that after the coronation?"

Josephine laughs, "God no! No, never. Rory will always be Rory. I won't even curtsy to her in public. Not even to George."

"But isn't that a sign of respect?"

"You kind of loose that sense of respect when you catch them in the act numerous times after coming home from a lecture."

My mouth drops open, "You caught them having sex?"

"Of course. You wouldn't believe what those two were doing... Anyways, that's a secret I won't share. Let's just say Rory getting pregnant so quickly after marrying George was no surprise to me at all." She says before turning around and walking back inside.

I follow her. "Is she having a boy or a girl?" That's the biggest Royal secret right now.

She locks the balcony doors again. "You're asking the wrong question."

What question should I ask? "I don't understand."

"My lips are sealed until the announcement of the birth." She says with a shrug. "But you seem to have a good sense of people. Your guess on Char was quite accurate."

So, Princess Charlotte of Wales is really pregnant. "Is the Duchess of Oxford still pregnant?"

"Rory. Her name is Rory."

"But her title is Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Oxford."

Josephine rolls her sky blue eyes at my words. "Yes. And yes she is still pregnant."

"With a girl or boy?" I ask again.

"Wrong question, Oliver." She says with a smirk on her lips. "Think, think harder and then try again."

I follow her out of the square shaped room and she grabs my left hand as we walk down the hallway. "Do you ever feel intimidated by these walls?"

"No, but I'm aware of the eyes and ears they can have." She answers simply. Yet she doesn't pull her hand away.

We stop at the impressive staircase that leads down to the state dinning room. It's a huge room with almost ten meter high ceilings full of gold and historic paintings. Kings and queens painted with oil colour stare at us as we walk down the staircase. "This is where the evening reception was held." Josephine explains. "The whole room was decorated with pink peonies, white lavender and eucalyptus branches. The chandeliers were cleaned and were sparkling the whole night. It was a magical evening, especially after the BBC team left us at midnight. We danced the whole night. I think I was here until around four." She points to the far left. "That's where we Rory and George sat on a long square shaped table."

I remember the way it looked in here because it was the first time the Royal Family has allowed cameras into the Buckingham Palace, even to the evening reception. People already called Rory then a wave of fresh air.

I think the Duchess of Oxford hasn't even started yet.

I look at Josephine, "She's not just pregnant with a baby." I breathe out.

"There wasn't a question." Josephine says before pulling on my hand. "Come on, I'll show you a secret way to the indoor pool."

"There's an indoor pool?"

Josephine nods. "And it's quite big."

"Wait, where did you break your heel?"

"Oh right." She walks back to the marbled staircase with a red rug and stops at the third step. There are two tiny holes in it. "This is where. I had far too much tequila with Char. The second hole is from her heels." She giggles.

"Is your Dad the reason for your NDAs?" I ask her.

She looks up from the staircase. "No. The reason for the NDAs is another man. He was my professor at Harvard. I made the mistake to sleep with him not knowing he recorded it. He tried to blackmail me with the sex tape." She grits her teeth.

"What did you do?"

"I handled the situation."

That's a very diplomatic answer and I'm not even sure if I want to know it. But I have to. "What does this mean?"

"I showed him that you don't try to blackmail a Bolton. I showed him what it means to get me angry. He didn't just loose his job at Harvard but I ruined his reputation so badly that I think he's working in Costa Rica right now."

"You made him flee the country?"

She nods, "I am a very powerful woman. I did this without my parents help otherwise that man would be dead right now."

"You're joking."

"My parents don't joke when it comes to threats and my safety."

"But you're here with me. Without Ralph."

"Because I can handle the situation. I know how to protect myself and I know that you're no danger."

That bastard must've really made her sweat if he blackmailed her. I'm glad she made sure he would never say a word. "What was the name of the bastard?"

"Sam Porter. But don't worry, he's living in the shadows now."

"And he's not writing some kind of book about you?"

Josephine laughs as if I said something absurd. "No! Definitely not. He's a fisher in Costa Rica."

"You banned him from a country that's not even your home..." I am just amazed by the amount of power the Boltons have. It's like they rule the world! "No wonder the press calls you the Bolton-clan."

Josephine chuckles, "Money rules the world, not us. But we have a lot of it and are not afraid to use it."

"So much that you can walk through Buckingham Palace alone at night." I think out loud.

"That's not my wealth. That's my connections to the monarch."

King Charles. "Does he like you?"

"Very much. Rory, Nate and I have tea or dinner with him whenever his schedule allows it."

"Do you curtsy to him?"

"Of course! He's the King!"

"But you won't curtsy to George or Rory."

"Because they told me not to." She says before we stop at a mirror. She lets go of my hand and runs her hands along the left side of the golden edge of mirror. Suddenly, a clicking sound echoes through the state room.

And then the mirror swings open.

"Kind of like in your walk-in wardrobe." I point out as we star at a long narrow hallway.

Josephine chuckles, "Yeah. Perhaps that's where the idea came from."

She walks into the hallway first and I follow her. The mirror closes behind me and a line of lamps hanging on the left wall light up. "Josephine,"

She stops and turns around. "Hm?"

I grab her hand and pull her into me. I wrap my arms around, trying to protect her from the pain of the past. "I am not Porter and I am not your father. I will never do to you what they did." I promise her.

She stares into my eyes and I watch how this sky blue slowly transitions into a rich cobalt blue. "I know."

"Do you trust me?" I've never asked her this because I wasn't sure what her answer would be. But I'm desperate to find out now.

She nods, "I do. It's why I've told you these secrets... and I guess now I feel so much better." She answers honestly. "I'm not good at opening up, Oliver. I don't allow people to see the real me very often. I'm only myself around my family... and you. Think of that whatever you want but to me it means I trust you." She tells me before lacing her hands behind me neck. "I'm standing in this secret hallway in an completely empty Buckingham Palace and I don't feel an ounce of fear. Instead I feel comfortable. I feel safe. I feel calm. Because I trust you."

"I won't misuse your trust." I promise her.

Her pupils dilate significantly and she shows me a soft smile. "Good because I won't misuse your trust either." She promises me.

How can she see that I trust her but not love her? How can she be so blind?

"I respect your boundaries. You don't have to tell me every secret. I don't need you to be an open book but frankly don't expect the same of me. Just because I've showed you this tonight and I told you my darkest secrets, doesn't mean you've got me figured out."

I chuckle, "You're the most complex person I've ever met."

"I take that as a compliment." She grins at me before kissing me softly.

Josephine

I park my silver Aston Martin in front of the white Grade-A building that's located within Windsor Castle's Home Park, save from the prying eyes of the world. Frogmore House is a square shaped building that my sister, her husband and their three unborn girls call home. There's also a matching L-shaped building for security to my right. The security even have beds, a kitchen and a bathroom there. When Rory and George renovated Frogmore House, they also renovated the house next to it, which used to be garages.

I get out of my car and walk through the grey pebbles that make up the driveway. Spring has clearly found England, everything has started blossoming. The sound of constructive work starts filling my ears. Adelaide Cottage, which is just a few hundred of metres away from here, is getting redone for my brother and Char. In just two months they will move in there and basically live next door to Rory and George.

I open the black wooden double doors and walk inside. The interior reminds me of our childhood home in Richmond but it's a bit more modern. No wonder Rory feels so comfortable and homely here. She created the ultimate oasis for her family.

"Rory?" I yell through the massive foyer that has a glass dome in the ceiling. The lightning is just gorgeous!

"Backyard!" She cries back.

I walk over the marbled floor in the foyer. The flooring changes to hardwood as I reach the open living room which is attached to a formal dining room and a huge kitchen. The many white transom windows here are stunning. The huge building is still full of history although it's decorated quite modern. Here and there hang a few oil paintings of former Kings and Queens that used to be part of the Royal Collection. The painting must be worth millions, if not billions, but here they serve the best. They're home.

The walls in Kensington Palace and Clarence House have eyes and ears but the walls at Frogmore don't. Because the household of Their Royal Highnesses is not yet fully established. They have a private secretary but not cleaning staff and butlers that live with them as it is normal in London.

I walk through the open door and stop at the terrace. Rory is sitting at a round table that has a sun umbrella open. The whole round table is covered in sheets of paper. She's working.

While being 35 weeks pregnant.

"Rory, are you seriously working?" I ask her shocked as I walk over to her.

She looks over her shoulder, "What am I suppose to do? I can't lay on the couch and watch TV the whole day. It drives me nuts!"

I sigh as I sit down next to her. The table is full of sheets of papers with text and Rory's handwritten corrections. "What's this?"

"The first drafts of my books." She answers without lifting her eyes off the sheet in front of her.

"Yeah, Char mentioned you were writing three books the other day when I called her."

She scribbles something next to the text before looking at me. "Yes. A stress preventing book with Dr. Storoni, whom I met in November last year, a book about sleep with Dr. Walker and a beauty book with Dr. Weaver. I met Walker during the Caribbean tour in Mexico and Weaver in New Zealand. Three very fascinating people and when we talked about the issues, I knew we had to do something. So, I suggested to write a book. I rang them all up and they were delighted to do this project with me."

Of course they were delighted. After all, they're writing a book with the future Queen. "I see and those are the drafts?"

She nods. "The first ones. We want to publish the books at once, kind of like a package, in late May."

"So probably after you've given birth."

She nods and places her hands on her huge belly. "We've made it to 34 weeks. More than I could have ever asked for. I'm confident those three will be born in the beginning of May."

That would be in two weeks. By that time, Oliver and me would have made it to seven weeks - that's almost halftime.

But no one knows that except for Char.

"So, Meghan guest-edits a whole Vogue issue and you write three books?"

"I got the okay from the King, though. I wouldn't do it without his permission."

Of course. The King always has the last word. "It's still huge and it will raise a lot of controversy but it might change your image."

"Is it that bad?" Rory asks me with raised eyebrows.

I shake my head, "Not since hashtag Baby Oxford."

My little sister chuckles. "Boy, will those three girls be a surprise... I can't wait for the announcement."

"But first you have to give birth."

Rory nods, "I know. I've been doing all the courses with George. We'll give hypnobirthing a try. If the pain's too much, I'll cut this whole zen thing and get an epidural and all the drugs available."

I grin, that's so Rory. Either fully natural or totally drugged. There's no in between for her, always just the two extremes. "And it's still Lindo Wing?"

"Yes. No Portland Hospital like Meghan. I'll stick to Royal protocol."

"So the famous photo call in front of the steps of Lindo Wing will happen as well?"

She nods. "Perhaps a day after I've given birth but there will be a photo call in front of the Lindo Wing. With the babies if nothing goes wrong."

The things Rory does goes beyond my comprehension. Giving birth is hard enough but doing it to triplets and facing the world a few hours later?

A lot of people would call her nuts! But most don't because she's a Royal. They expect her to present the new heiresses of the throne on a silver plate with a big fat smile on her lips.

I look back on the many sheets of papers that are covering the table. Rory's a workaholic. She's definitely a Bolton. "And will there be a photo of you on the back of the books? Will your name be on it?"

"Of course. It'll say Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Oxford on the front and there's going to be a photo of me on the back along with the other author's photo."

"Do you want me to take it?"

"No, I'll just choose one from one of our engagements. Or maybe you can dig through your private photo selection of me."

I smile, I have a whole external hard disk dedicated to my sister. "I'm sure I'll find three nice snaps." I ensure her. "These three books will be bestsellers."

"I don't care how many people will buy this book. I care about how many are going to read it. I want to make a change, not just be a puppet on the strings of the firm."

I grab Rory's hands, "You will never be a puppet. One day, you'll rule this whole thing and make the rules. But right now you're bending them as much as you can."

She giggles. "I guess, I am."

"You know, this might bring you a new nickname." I think out loud with a grin on my lips as I remember Oliver's words.

"Well, it can't be worse than Duchess Difficult but go ahead, voice your idea."

"Doctor Duchess."

"Doctor Duchess. I like it. I think that's the best one they've had for me so far because it's the truth. I am a doctor and a duchess. Something no one has ever been in Royal history. It fits me."

"Oh I think Rory Glory fits you as well." I say with a chuckle.

But my sister rolls her eyes. "Maybe after I've made that appearance in front of the steps of the Lindo Wing, having just given birth to triplets girls a few hours ago. Then the world may call me Rory Glory all they want. I still prefer Doctor Duchess, though."

"I'm sure your PR team can pull some strings." I say with a shrug. I know what I'd do as her PR team.

"Oh no, my PR team is there to protect me from nasty rumours but not to get the ball rolling."

I roll my eyes at her words. "The world won't save itself from all this kindness. I'd do it differently."

"Well, you refused to work with me so don't complain about how I treat and conduct my employees. You have no idea how much labour this really is."

I wave with my hand, "I could do that with my eyes closed."

"Nate thought so as well. He thought joining the Royal Family would be a piece of cake and now look at him. He's already loosing his nerves and he isn't even married yet!"

"He's loosing his nerves because the King won't tell them their title. That's what's been bugging him not joining the Royal Family."

"He's already working on his Royal Coat Of Arms, do you know that? He's definitely going to get a title and it's not going to be an Earl."

"You know something?"

Rory shakes his head, "It just wouldn't be logical to give Nate the title of an Earl and Char to stay a Princess. Think about it. The King granted George and me three titles and two Dukedoms. And he wants to give them nothing? He won't do it. That would show the world that I was very much welcomed into the Royal Family but not Nate? What kind of logic does that follow? It would make the issue evident and then in... let's say two weeks after the wedding they will announce the happy news - because they will announce it because you can't hide a pregnancy when you're a Royal - the actions of the King will make sense to the world and inflame not only the Brits but everyone whether they care about the Royals or not. This could mean the end of the monarchy. He would put us all into a serious risk. And that's not something he wants. Lizzie spent 95 years building this monarchy, he won't ruin it just because his ego is in the way."

"Still, the Royal Family has never survived a bigger scandal."

"It won't be a scandal if they'll do it right. It's about timing. It's always about timing."

True, it always is. If the media were not interested in the Royal Family, the monarchy would be in serious trouble.

That reminds me of Char's scandalous wedding dress with no veil but with two unborn babies. "Have you seen Char's dress yet?" I ask her.

Rory shakes her head. "No. How? She's probably trying it on at Kensington Palace and I am pretty much limited to Windsor."

"You could fly there."

But my sister shakes her head. "That would be a waste of resources. Plus everyone in Hyde Park can see me getting out of the red Royal helicopter. People would be suspicious. Especially about the huge bump."

Right. "Well, the dress is really beautiful. She put a lot of thought into it."

"Don't tell me more. I want to be surprised."

"Okay... What about your baby shower tomorrow?" I kept everything a secret from her.

Rory places her hands on the gigantic bump, "Spill. I want to know everything you planned for me."

"Soho Farmhouse."

Rory nods, "In Oxfordshire. Good choice of venue. What will we do?"

"Cook for homeless shelters in the area, make flower arrangements for the local hospitals and hospices and take cooking lessons from one of the Michelin stared chefs there. We'll have a sugar and dairy free cake made by our Mummy herself."

"Mummy is going to bake me a cake?" Rory asks with wide eyes. We all love our mother's cakes. It's why our birthdays can't come soon enough. Maybe it's good we're such a big family because that means we get Mummy's cakes quite often.

I nod, "But she won't be able to attend."

"That's alright. She and Daddy will help George and me once the girls are born. Until we've settled in a little bit."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they'll move into the guesthouse and switch with Wills and Catherine on the weekends."

I smile. Rory is a master when it comes to organising. She always makes a plan that she sticks to. "Sounds good."

"Who's coming to the baby shower?"

"12 women: The family including Char and Catherine, Angi, Leonor and Sofia of Spain, Leonore of Sweden, Gabriella of Monaco and Sophie."

"My doctors coming as well?"

I nod, "She has to. Rory, you're at 34 weeks. The fact that you haven't given birth yet is a miracle!"

She sighs, "I know... I can't wait to see them all again. I haven't seen them since my wedding." She grins, "But no baby presents, right?"

"No presents. I specifically asked for that... but Rory, you never know. Especially with European Royalty."

She sighs, "I know... and I'm sure Catherine won't come empty handed as well."

I think so as well.

Oliver

I follow Josephine into the free standing bathtub. She's already laying in there, her beautiful body is covered by bubbles that smell of lavender and roses. As always when Josephine takes a bath, the bottle of white wine with two glasses is not far. She already finished half of her glass by the time I joined her. I'm beginning to think that wine's in her blood.

I can't believe it's already Thursday evening. Tomorrow, she'll go to her sister's baby shower and will be gone for two nights.

I'm feeling discomfort just thinking about it.

"I was at Frogmore today." Josephine starts before taking another sip of her white wine. "She's very excited about the baby shower."she wrapped her chestnut hair into a bun that's sitting on top of her head.

Her sky blue start sparkling at the mention of her sister. Josephine's such a family person! "What will you guys do?"

"You'll read about it in the newspapers. We'll release a bit of information to feed the everlasting hunger for the Oxford Family."

Oxford Family - That's a nice way of playing the fact down that this is the heir family. "I'd rather hear it from you." I grab her left feet and start massaging it.

She moans, "You know which buttons to push to get something out of me."

I grin, "Took me a while to figure this out."

She smiles, "We'll cook for the homeless shelters nearby."

"She's just as philanthropic as you."

"I think it's in our blood, to be honest. We all love to give back. From the little ones to my parents. Even Eli, Cal and Gideon enjoy giving away their used toys and see the sparkles in the eyes of those who receive it." She smiles. "Anyways, after the cooking we'll do flower arrangements for hospices and local hospitals. And after that we will put our feet up and get a whole dinner cooked by a Michelin chef at Soho Farmhouse. The rest of the evening is up to Rory. If she wants to go for a walk, we'll do that. If she wants a facial, we'll do that. The whole plan is really flexible as it has to be. It's a day to day kind of thing with Rory right now."

"Is she overdue?"

Josephine shakes her head, "No, but she was expected to give birth by now."

I frown, "Doesn't this mean she's overdue?"

Josephine licks her lips. "Not in Rory's case."

"I don't understand." I stop massaging her foot. She's trying to tell me something but I don't get it. I don't get it at all.

"Think about what you said at Buckingham last night. You said that Rory wasn't just expecting one baby. And now do the math."

"She's expecting twins then."

Josephine shakes her head. "How many siblings do I have?"

"Seven."

"And how many direct siblings do I have?"

"Seven." What the hell is she trying to say?

She sighs, "Della was born first. Ana was adopted. Then came Nate, Rory and me. After that Elias followed and the twins came after him. Do you see a pattern?"

One, one, three, one, two - How is that a pattern?! "No. Rory's not expecting one baby and not two."

"And what's the third option? Especially considering the DNA that Rory, Nate and me share?"

"Holy shit! She's expecting triplets?!" I breathe out shocked. No, this can't be true! She can't be carrying three instead of one baby!

But Josephine nods. "Three babies. No one out of the family knows and it has to stay this way."

"My lips are sealed." I promise her. "Is she having boys or girls? Or two girls and one boy like you guys were?"

"Three girls."

"That's great!" Wow, the Duchess of Oxford is expecting triplet girls! The world will be blown away!

"She's huge by now."

I can imagine. My mother was already pretty big when she carried Johnathan but having three in there she must be a lot bigger. "But if she's pregnant with triplets that means she's due when? 33 weeks?"

"32 and she's at 34 right now. Rory wants to keep the girls in as long as possible. Her doctor will also be at the baby shower. Just in case." She says before filling up her glass with wine again. "She's nuts. She thinks she can handle three crying babies on her own in the first months. I mean, our parents and George's parents will help them out but three babies without a nanny? It's going to be a disaster!"

"Maybe she's going to surprise you."

"Oh, she already did when she announced it would be three. That's surprise enough. Just imagine having to share your body with three other persons!" Josephine shakes her head. She really doesn't want to be a Mum. "Sleepless nights, endless diaper changes and feedings... her life will never be the same." She mumbles before taking a sip of her wine. "But that's what is expected, right? She married the heir of the throne and she is expected to give birth to at least two children. One heir and one spare, just in case something happens. But Rory, man, she overdid the expectations by giving them three at once..."

"Your parents must be over the moon..."

She smiles, "Yeah and so were Catherine and William."

"Are you excited to become an aunt again?"

"Well I've never the aunt of royal babies so it's kind of exciting but I know how much the world will want to see them. They'll grow up in a goldfish bowl but at least they're quite safe at Frogmore House."

"So, they'll grow up in castles and palaces?"

Josephine shrugs, "I don't know. I'm sure they will spend a lot of time at my parents' place in Richmond and perhaps even here but mostly castles and palaces, yeah. I know Rory and George want them to grow up as normal as possible but that's only possible to a certain extent. The kids will have to go to Christmas walks and Trooping the colour. Ascot will be a fixed appointment in their schedules as well. There are certain things they have to do while others are more free."

"Will you take their official portraits?"

"I will. Not every single one but the first ones for sure. Rory wants it to stay in the family so we'll rotate between Catherine, my father and me." She says before taking another sip of her wine. "How come you don't enjoy drinking wine?"

I shrug, "I'd like to be sober when I'm with you." I answer honestly because I don't want to forget a single word she said.

"I'm not drunk just because I'm having wine."

"You have a pretty high tolerance."

Josephine

I put the wine glass next to the bathtub. Maybe I should cut down on the wine just a little bit. "What's your biggest fear?"

He's silent for a moment.

"I'll tell you mine, I promise." I encourage him.

"I'm not a big fan of heights."

"You suffer from vertigo?" I ask shocked. "But you were just fine yesterday when we stood on the balcony and on my rooftop garden."

"That was different."

"How was that different?"

"For one, I was there with you. You don't make it seem that bad. And two, I'm not afraid of big heights. I'm more afraid of the small heights."

I frown, "Elaborate."

"Well, if I fall down from your rooftop garden, I won't survive. I'm not afraid of death. But with the smaller heights like the balcony or a ten meter springboard, that's when my fear starts kicking in."

"Because you're afraid of getting hurt." I think out loud and smirk. "You're afraid of the pain afterwards but not of the process. That's interesting."

He shrugs. "What's yours?"

"Spiders and snakes... and scorpions." I answer with a shrug. "Never liked these and never will."

He nods.

"Would you ever go bungee jumping?"

"Are you insane?!"

"I've always wanted to do that."

"Well, I'm not doing it with you."

"What if we'll extend our arrangement for that? Say a week?" I suggest.

"No. I need more than that if you really want me to jump into emptiness with you."

"I'm not going higher than a week."

"That's not what I meant."

I lick my lips, I have a feeling I will regret this question but I ask it anyway. "What do you want?"

"Admit how you really felt about the other night."

Shit. I thought I had successfully avoided this topic. "I don't know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean."

I turn my head to the side and look out of the window. London's most famous sights are glittering in the night. "I liked it. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No. It's what I already know."

"Well, it was not love making if that's what you want to hear."

"Josephine,"

I look back at him. "It was not!" I protest.

"Okay..." He says in a soft voice.

"Okay." I echo him.

He lifts himself and moves over to me. My breath starts becoming shallow as his smell starts filling my nostrils. Trust, peace, loyalty and lavender... it's a mixture that's addictive. "You enjoyed it."

I could get lost in his sea foam coloured eyes. They're wonderful. "I did." I'm not ashamed to admit that. "But we're not in love. We're not in a relationship. This is strictly sexual."

"It's not strictly sexual." He breathes into my face. "This is more."

He and his more. He always wants more. Finland was not enough for him. Buckingham Palace was not enough for him. How much more could he want?! I roll my eyes at his words and he grabs my chin so I focus on him.

"It's not just sexual." He repeats and I can feel his erection throbbing against my sex. My body awakes from the touch immediately.

I should feel uncomfortable from his touch, but I don't. Instead, I feel calm and aroused. I didn't know that his dominance would attract me so much. "It's not just sexual." I give in. But only because it's the truth.

"Good." He lets go of my chin.

Before I know what I'm doing, I've already sealed my lips over his. I don't know why or how, but I find his dominance extremely hot. Our tongues start dancing immediately. Slowly, my hands glide down his back. I can feel how his muscles vibrate from my touch until I've reached his steel hard ass. I can feel his erection gliding into me with ease. I squeeze his ass as a moan escapes my lips from this exquisite feeling that starts filling my body. He's right.

This is more.

This is not just sex. I've had lots of sex partners but not one of them has made me feel like this. This goes beyond lust and sexual attraction. This is more.

I let go of his lips, "This is more." I whisper into his sea foam coloured eyes. He hasn't even moved yet and I'm already at the edge of coming. There's no way this isn't more than just sex.

He shows me a triumphal grin. "This is more." He agrees with me.

I giggle, "Wipe that grin off of your lips."

"I can't. Getting you to admit how you really feel gives me the biggest pleasure."

I run my fingers through his short beach blonde hair, "I've never been one for emotions, Oliver. I separate sex from friends but with you... I can't separate it even if I tried." I whisper into his eyes.

"Then don't question this between us. Just let yourself feel..." He whispers. "Just like the other night."

I felt a lot that night. At times I wondered if it was too much but I couldn't stop it. It was the first night that I got truly lost in this flux of feelings he makes me feel.

And now I'm afraid I got addicted to it. "I'm not made for love and light."

"Everyone is."

"I've got a lot of demons... a lot of darkness." I whisper. That's probably the wine talking out of me again. Whenever I hit a certain permille, my tongue gets loose and I talk straight from my heart. I lick my lips, "All of these demons, how do you keep them out?"

He stares at me for a moment and I know he feels what I feel. This might be more, we might be connected... but we're still miles apart.

"Let me take you out of the dark and shine a hundred stars on us when you forget that we're all stars wrapped in skin." He whispers against my lips. "Let me be your light if you've forgotten that the light you're seeking has always been within. Let me be your reminder."

I close my eyes and inhale deeply as he places a kiss on my right temple, right where my star shaped birthmark is. I don't know if I can trust him enough for that.

"I would never hurt you. I gave you my word. I won't leave and I will never do what that Professor bastard did to you." He promises me.

His words ring in my ears like a sirens song. They fill me with warmth and comfort... and a sense of peace. "You're loyal to me." I whisper as the realisation hits me. I open my eyes and stare at this incredible man. I've never had anyone outside my family that was loyal to me.

"I am." He confirms before kissing me again.

His loyalty is one of the biggest gifts he could have given me. It's gives me a high I've never felt before.

"I'm devoted to you." He promises with his sea foam coloured eyes holding nothing but the truth. His words open a door inside of me I didn't know I had. No one has ever said those words to me.

The tip of tongue tingles with the same words but I hold back. Instead, I seal my lips over his, knowing devotion is not something I can gift him with.

This is so much fucking more.

"Hey, Jo! Where the hell are you?! You wanted to show me the Finland photos- Holy shit!"

I pull away as my brother's voice fills my ears. My older brother is standing across us in my bathroom. His navy eyes are wide in shock - and so is his mouth.

"Nate!" I yell at him. I will rip his head off! If there's one disadvantage to this penthouse than it's that there's no freaking bell!

My brother looks from me to Oliver and back again. "I had no idea you had company here. In your bathtub."

"I told you to ring me before coming!" I hiss as Oliver moves back to his side of the bathtub again. So much to having sex tonight.

"I did! But you didn't pick up." He hisses before looking at me. "Because you were busy shagging Adonis over here."

I roll my eyes at his words and let out a sigh. There's no way around explaining this to him. "That Adonis is called Oliver."

Nate bends forward and holds out his hand. "Nate, hi."

Oliver frowns but shakes his hand, "Hi."

"Did he sign one of your NDAs?" Nate asks me.

"Do you think I'd have him in my bathtub otherwise?!" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Right, good..." Nate nods, "How long have you guys-"

"Could you just wait in the living room for us?" I interrupt him. There might be bubbles covering our naked bodies but I'd rather have this conversation fully dressed.

"Oh, yeah, sure... I'll be... I'll be in the living room." Nate says before turning on his heel and walking out of the bathroom.

The second he's gone Oliver erupts into the most wonderful laughter. It's so heartwarming that I can't help but laugh along.

"This is what you get with seven siblings." I say as I shake my head and get out of the bathtub.

"I like him. He seems cool."

"He's the most relaxed person I know. Nothing can make him worry except for his woman-"

"Fiancée!" I can hear Nate's correction.

"Bloody hell, give me some privacy!"

"Sorry! I was on my way out, I promise!"

"Walk faster!"

Oliver laughs again. It's the sound of an angry lion, suddenly being playful and calm again. His laughter is music to my ears.

"There's no privacy with seven siblings, I'm telling you." I wrap a white fluffy towel around me before handing Oliver his towel.

"It's cool. It reminds me of my brothers."

"Hope you aren't as close to them."

"No, not that close..." he chuckles again. "He caught us having sex!"

I walk out of the bathroom and into my walk-in wardrobe next door. "To be fair, I've caught him several times as well."

"Wow, there are really no boundaries between you guys, are there?"

I dry my body with the towel before putting on fresh underwear. "No and sometimes I wish we had."

"No, it's nice. It shows how close you guys are. That you have no secrets from each other."

Oliver's definitely not my secret anymore. Two of my seven siblings know of him. Plus Char. It's only a matter of weeks - or days even - until my parents find out about him.

This is so not going according to my plan. I thought I could keep this arrangement a secret. I was wrong. I was so wrong!

I grab a grey shirt and a black pair of joggers before getting into it. When I turn around, I notice that Oliver and me are matching. "Seriously?"

"That's totally unintentional, I swear." He says with a chuckle.

I can't help but giggle as well, "This is only going to put more oil into this fire. Nate's going to quiz you the whole evening. Finland is already forgotten."

"I can't wait to meet your brother." He grins at me before pulling me into his arms. "This might be a coincidence but perhaps it's destiny."

I tilt my head back slightly to look him in the eyes. They've transformed back to the pine green that I know so well. "Your belief will never be shaken, right?"

"Right." He says before kissing me softly. "And now come on, let's face your brother."

This evening is so not going according to my plan.

Oliver

Josephine doesn't hold my hand when we walk down the hallway that leads to the living room. The sound of a running television is filling my ears. It's some kind of football game. Relief fills me, not all Boltons are workaholics. Nate seems to be pretty normal. You know, apart from marrying into the Royal Family in less than two months.

By the time we've reached the living room, Nate has already made himself comfortable on the couch. He is dressed in a pair of jeans and a white Oxford shirt. He might not be wearing a suite like his Dad, but he still looks like a copy of him. Nate has even opened a bottle of beer and put his feet on the coffee table.

Where the hell did he get the beer from?

"Feet off of my coffee table." Josephine hisses at him.

Nate moves his feet down just as his navy eyes find mine. He looks like a copy of his father but he is nothing like him. He's not intimidating at all. Instead he seems like a really open and relaxed person. He seems like best friend material. "Do you want a beer as well?"

I look at Josephine, "You have beer?"

"In the wine fridge. She always has two there for me." Nate says with a nod. "How about you bring him one?"

"No! This is my home and I'm not a bloody maid!" Josephine hisses back at him and crosses her arms in front of her chest. "What the hell has gotten into your mind to just walk in here?!"

He straightens his shoulders, looking even more like their father. "We made plans for tonight. During the dinner you promised to show me to photos of Lapland. Wait, were you guys there together?!"

"Yes." I admit before Josephine can come up with a lie.

"How long have you guys been dating?" Nate asks us with a suspicious look on his face. He's not as good as Josephine when it comes to reading people.

I look at Josephine. Her lips are sealed. Well, that's a first.

"Oh, no, not her. I am asking you, Oliver."

I look back at Nate. He can be as demanding as Josephine. "We met a few months ago in a café in Battersea."

"Battersea... What the hell were you doing in Battersea?" Nate asks his little sister. He's more concerned about the location rather than the time?

Josephine sighs, "I was jogging. And afterwards I wanted a coffee. That's when we met in that café. Didn't Char tell you anything?"

"She knows about this?!" Nate asks her shocked.

"Yeah. She met him twice."

"I'll be in the kitchen." I mumble an excuse to get away. I don't want to get between Josephine and her brother because I'm pretty sure I'll be collateral damage. I think I need this beer now. I turn on my heel and walk to the open kitchen. These two have a lot to clear.

"Why didn't she tell me this?"

I open the wine fridge that's build into the kitchen island and get a cool beer. I was planning to stay sober tonight but this definitely requires some alcohol.

"Perhaps best friend is over fiancé."

"No, you must've blackmailed her."

Josephine laughs, "With what? She's my best friend!"

"But we don't have any secrets."

"Clearly she does."

"She did that one for you. She just wanted you to come clean on your own terms."

"There's nothing to come clean about."

I open the beer and take a long drink. I'm nothing to come clean about. Josephine's still in denial about us. I thought I had convinced her that this was more earlier in the bathroom.

"Didn't look like that in your bathroom."

Josephine sits down next to her brother and I see the similarities between them. They have the same chestnut hair colour, nose and cheekbones. "I don't talk about the men I bed, you know that. Don't feel hurt."

"He met Char twice! He seems special enough for her."

"She ambushed me just like you."

"So, Mum and Dad have no idea?"

Josephine shakes her head, "Not a clue."

"He seems nice. Not an asshole."

"He is nice."

"Does he treat you well?"

"Did it seem otherwise in that bathtub?"

"Don't push me away. I'm just looking out for you."

She sighs, "He's a very kind, good looking and loyal young man."

"Bullshit. That's something the palace would write about me." He says to her before taking another sip of his beer.

Josephine shrugs, "What do you want me to say?"

"Do you love him?"

I hold my breath at that question. That's a question I didn't think her brother would ask so directly. I guess they really do have no secrets towards each other.

"It's too soon for those kind of words." She says to him after a moment of thinking.

That wasn't a no.

"But you have feelings for him?"

"Yes... all sorts of feelings."

"So, you called me because of him yesterday?"

Jo called her brother to talk about us?

"Yes."

"Did you figure it out?"

"No." She sighs before resting her head on his shoulder. Nate automatically wraps his arm around her. I'd be jealous if this wasn't her brother. "Sometimes, the feelings he makes me feel scare me. Sometimes they're so wonderful that I never want them to end... and sometimes they overcome me like a tsunami. They come so sudden, without a warning, that I don't know what to do."

"Does he know?"

"I have a feeling I don't need to tell him anything. One look into my eyes and I'm a fucking open book to him." She grabs the beer out of his hand and drinks a big gulp.

I had no idea her feelings for me ran so deep. I expected there to be some but not... definitely not like this.

"Now, that's an achievement." He says with a chuckle. "He's not Ed."

Who the fuck is Ed?

"No, he's not."

"I thought you liked him."

"I don't want to talk about him."

Who the hell is that Ed guy?!

"Fair enough." Nate says with a nod before looking behind him, straight at me. "Don't drink your beer all alone over there. Join us!"

Josephine winces. I think she forgot about me.

I walk back to them and sit down in the grey armchair that's facing the television. The football game is still on but no one pays attention.

Perhaps that's why Josephine's television is always off. Because she saves the electricity that way.

"So... Oliver, right? Where are you from?" Nate starts slowly.

"Rio."

"Brazil, nice. Why did you choose London over a city at the ocean?"

"I wanted more from life."

"You sound like some sort of motivation card." Nate furrows his bushy brows.

I lean forward and place my beer on the coffee table. Perhaps I should come clean a little bit. "I'm not really from the same background as you. To change that I decided to come to London, work here for a while and eventually get my family over here as well."

"You're here all alone?"

"Yes."

Nate looks at Josephine, "You didn't have the glorious idea to send them our jet?"

"I've got a degree from Oxford and Harvard, of course I did offer that." She says before sticking his tongue out at him. "He refuses any of my offered help."

Nate looks back at me. I swear it feels like I'm talking to their father. "Either you are very stupid or very in love with my little sister."

"Nate!" Josephine hisses in shock.

Even his brother knows how I'm deeply in love I am with his sister. How can Josephine not see that?!

"What? It could only be one thing or the other."

"I'm not using her money, if that's what you're really asking." I set the record straight.

"Got it. What do you do?"

"I work at Luigi's."

"No way! You're the new waiter there?" Nate asks with a smile on his lips. "No wonder Dad was so pissed."

"I wasn't staring at your mother on purpose. I just saw the similarities between her daughter and her."

"Yeah, well good luck explaining that to our father." He waves with his hand. "Right, they don't know about you guys. When will you introduce him to Mum and Dad?" He asks Josephine.

"Never."

That's a stab in my heart. I thought we were moving forward but then she says something like this and I think we're right at the beginning.

"What do you mean? You can't hide him forever!"

"I'm still here." I hiss at him.

Nate's head swings over to me. "Then be a man about it and-"

"Our relationship is not your fucking business." I draw the line. If he pushes her too hard, she's going to call this thing off. I can't loose her. Not without her realising what we have is special.

Nate holds up his hands in an apologetic gesture. "Fine." He picks up his beer and empties it.

"I didn't interfere with you and Char as well. So I think it's only fair if you cut me some slack. Oliver and I... it's different." Josephine backs up my words.

Different. At least she didn't say over.

"Alright, I'm going to go home to the woman I love while you guys keep being different." Nate says before rising from the couch.

Josephine follows him, "Nate,"

"You should have told me about this. You know I can keep secrets. I wouldn't have run to Mum and Dad."

"Yeah, I know. But I also know how easily Mum can read you. One glance from you and she had it all figured out. I couldn't risk that."

I'm still Josephine's dirty little secret. I'm still on that freaking rollercoaster ride.

Nate shakes his head. "You're unbelievable!"

She sighs, "Let me walk you out."

"No, I want Oliver to do that. He seems to know his way around here as much as you."

I get up from the armchair and straighten my shoulders. I'm about half a head taller than Nate.

"I'll see you." Josephine whispers. "I love you."

"Love you, too." Nate says before embracing her.

It's so heartwarming to hear them be so loving towards each other. It's also nice to know that Josephine's capable of love.

I walk out of the living room with Nate by my side. Nate shares his father's features, except for the cheekbones. Being with him alone is suddenly more intimidating than I thought.

"Don't break her heart." Nate says as we stop at the lift. "I'm not going you ask if you love her because to me it's bloody obvious what's going on here. But Josephine... she wouldn't survive getting her heart broken again. She barely survived it the first time."

I gulp, I didn't expect this. I expected him to threaten me but not this. Definitely not this. "I won't." I promise him in a heartbeat. She might break mine but I will never break hers.

Nate nods as the doors of the lift open. He steps into the lift and the doors glide close.

I expected him to give me a harder time.

I turn around and stare at Josephine, who is leaning against the wall. Her grey T-shirt fell over her right shoulder, so it's exposing the strap of her black laced bra. Her chestnut hair is still wrapped into the bun from earlier. Her sky blue eyes are glowing like a beacon across the water, leading the way to my anchor.

She is my anchor.

"So, that was Nate..." she says with a smile on her lips. "I hope he didn't say anything stupid to protect me and stuff. He bloody knows I can take care of myself."

"Who is Ed?" I ask her as I walk over to her.

The wonderful smile on her lips drops. "The man from Paris."

The man she fucked to get back on me. "Nate knows him?"

"Turns out they know each other." She shrugs.

"What do you feel for him?" The question is out of my mouth before I know it.

She licks her soft, full lips. "I don't know."

That's not good. "And what do you feel for me?"

She gasps at the question, probably not ready to get asked that so direct. "I don't know..."

"Bullshit." I call her bluff.

"Oliver,"

"I'm all in. Why aren't you? Because of Ed?"

"No! No, not because of him."

"Then what's holding you back?!"

Josephine

I wince as he places his hands on my hips. His pine green eyes stare at me in a way that makes me feel this spectrum of emotions again. I get sucked into this swirl as I watch how the pine green transitions into a sea foam colour. The emotions make me dizzy but I cannot escape them even if I tried. It's a mixture that scares me a bit, but most of all it makes me feel good... good in a way I've never felt good before.

But that doesn't mean I can allow them to take control of me. "Oliver,"

He kisses me before I can protest. It's like he knows what I'm about to say without me giving him any signs. "I'm all in. Arrangement or not. This is real. This, between us, is more." His breath is hot against my face and I can feel how my body reacts with goosebumps. A delicious ache starts filling me so strong that I fear I might lose myself in it.

"This is more but the arrangement stands. 13 weeks." I remind him. It pains me to say these words but Oliver has no idea what he wants. He wouldn't want realness with me. It would kill him.

"Josephine,"

Gosh, the way my name rolls of his tongue makes my legs go weak.

"I'm yours and I need you to be mine."

He's pushing me. Not a smart move. "I'll never be yours. I'm my own woman. I stand my ground no matter the consequences. I am-" he shuts me off with a kiss before I can elaborate any further. I wrap my arms around him as I deepen the kiss, my mind and my body not being one right now. I need him to know this will go nowhere. I need him to know I don't need him to be mine because I will never be his. Loyalty and devotion are two different pairs of shoes and my feet only fit in one.

I need him to know this has a deadline.

But right now, I need to get lost in these emotions he makes me feel like the other night. I need to surrender so I can gather myself again afterwards and see everything clearer.

I need to give in, to be able to let go.

I wrap my left leg around his hip and pull him closer until I can feel his erection throbbing between us. I allow my body to take over, giving my mind a moment of rest.

He lifts me up and I wrap my other leg around his hips, not letting go of his delicious lips. Oliver's the best kisser I've come across. Not even Edward Rothschild does what Oliver can.

I let go as Ed fills my mind and I run my fingers through Oliver's short blonde hair as he heads back into the bedroom. This is not Ed, this is Oliver. I'm in the present, not the past. "I'm not one to own, Oliver." I whisper. Neither Ed nor Oliver will ever own me.

"I wasn't either until I met you."

---

Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!

So, Josephine's secret is out but not Oliver's. When do you think he's going to tell her?

Why can't Jo stop thinking about Ed?

The next chapter will be about Rory's baby shower.

Please review!

In gratitude,

Nicole