Chapter 25: This is the End
"Shino, I need you to get dressed. Unfortunately…"
A brief stretch of silence.
"… Unfortunately, this can't wait."
The younger Aburame paused at his father's urgency and the slight strain of his words. He hadn't even been able to offer the older man the chance to come inside and join him for tea. Shibi's breath was visible in the cold air and the furrow of his brow more troubled than it usually appeared.
"Of course, dad. What–"
"–I need you to come with me. We have a meeting to attend, and it's imperative you come now."
Shino followed, entirely unsure of what was going on. His father hadn't said anything, looking more wrought with turmoil the closer they walked towards the Aburame meeting hall.
His clan didn't typically host sessions during the winter. That he was sure of.
So why exactly was the hall currently flooding with people?
Outside of the gates, Tatsuma stood, diligently guarding at his regular spot. He nodded to his cousin. His cousin didn't nod back.
Strange.
Taking the Aburame heir more aback was the sight of a Hyuuga standing guard alongside Tatsuma. The other nobleman did slightly bow to Shino upon their entrance, unlike his own cousin.
Just as they were about to enter the building, his father paused the two of them.
Staring at the Pride of the Aburame—usually so strong, reserved, king-like, deserving of nothing but utmost respect—and watching him carry himself like a sad, old man worn down by the years was something Shino had never seen before.
Why did his father look so weak?
"I'm… I'm sorry about this, Shino."
They were led into the meeting room.
Sachihiro had tried to ease the tension in the atmosphere by greeting Shino and Shibi as he normally would, but the elder's words came with strain and the slightest hesitance.
The grave air of the room was not lost upon Shino.
The full Aburame court was in session. The five head elders—Sachihiro, Genpachi, Junpei, Koushiro, and Kouji—five other distinctive members of prominence closer in age to Shino's father, and another handful in the mix sat within the meeting room.
They all sat before the family tapestry, heads bowed as their honored guests took seats alongside them.
A sea of lavender, almost pure white, eyes intermixed with a sea of dark sunglasses.
Shibi quietly ordered Shino to take a seat.
The older Aburame looked at his son for the briefest of moments with an intense sadness before evening out his features and moving to join the sea before the tapestry, sitting next to none other than Hiashi Hyuuga.
The two heads of noble clans.
A sardonic thought crossed Shino's mind that all they needed now were the Akimichi and then this would be a real party.
He had never felt so isolated as the sea eyed him, observed him, judged his every move. Whispers upon whispers between Hyuuga and Hyuuga, Aburame and Aburame, Hyuuga and Aburame.
His eyes focused on the group before him while his ears picked up the noise of the meeting door sliding open. One body slowly sat next to him, her formal robes sh-sh-shing with each careful step.
"Hey, Shino-Sensei," she greeted quietly.
The light quaver in her words, Shino could register clearly enough. She had been crying.
The Aburame had always been rather fond of the younger Hyuuga woman next to him, despite the fact that she was a rather sloppy drunk and inadvertently caused him to get banned from a few restaurants in upper Konoha. However, seeing the look in her pale eyes created a slowly sinking feeling of remote despondency-anxiousness- in his chest.
The Aburame heir managed to speak somehow.
"Hello, Hanabi."
"Well, I certainly hope everyone is cozy here," Sachihiro spoke, addressing the room and effectively halting the quiet whispers of conversation. "Why don't we get our meeting started with formal introductions from our esteemed clan leaders?"
Scribes from both clans readied themselves with pen and paper at the words of the Aburame elder. The noise of fast scribbles was briefly heard as the meeting officially began.
Hanabi's, and thereby also Hinata's, father went first. The head Hyuuga spoke clearly and formally, not at all revealing himself to this formal court that he was a rather soft-hearted grandfather in these later years.
"My name is Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the mighty Hyuuga clan of Konohagakure. This meeting marked for today—January 19th—shall discuss the betrothment of my second daughter and heiress to our clan, Hyuuga Hanabi."
"What?"
He swallowed, tightening a clenched fist. Beside him, Hanabi's eyes lowered.
With dread building in his stomach, his father spoke next. The older Aburame had to clear his throat, speaking slowly and deliberately. Shino could tell even without having to see Shibi's eyes that he was not looking at his son, choosing instead to focus ahead.
"My name is Aburame Shibi, head of the Aburame clan of Konohagakure. Today's meeting—marked two days before the 21st of January—is being held to discuss…"
"Please, I beg of you, dad. Don't say it."
"… the possible engagement of my only son and heir to the family, Aburame Shino."
Could his father feel his heart shatter?
Wincing internally, Shino looked upon the sea of dark sunglasses and lavender eyes and realized this was the end of his seasons of love. Now was the beginning for bureaucracy and domination.
And only two days before his birthday.
"We are honored to be welcomed in the home of Aburame," an elder Hyuuga spoke up. "And on behalf of the Hyuuga family, we offer our sincerest apologies for our urgency in needing to conduct this meeting earlier than planned."
"Earlier than planned?"
"It is no issue at all," Genpachi said shortly. "Better earlier than later. The marriage of our sole heir to the Aburame family… Well, it has been a long time coming."
They conducted the meeting almost mechanistically.
One Hyuuga would make a point regarding the issue of formal dowry and of the convenience of marriage between two clans within the same village—It certainly would make travel and distance easier, wouldn't it?—followed up by one Aburame reinforcing the strength of the union by highlighting the achievements of the heir and heiress.
Had Shino not been overcome by the large sense of betrayal from his own clan and council, he would have felt the slightest gusto at the praise.
Overall, there were really no negative points to the union, objectively.
Despite obvious differences between the Aburame and the Hyuuga clan—the doujutsu nobles of Konoha had more outward pride and somehow more audacity than his own family—they could all agree on the positives of the marriage.
Both the heir of the Aburame and the heiress of the Hyuuga were of nobility, genetically strong, and raised since birth to be more than capable Shinobi. The sea of lavender and dark sunglasses had no doubt that any possible children would be the same.
While a few Hyuuga did voice their concern over whether or not to raise the child with kikaichu as traditional for members of the Aburame—It's rather… disturbing, isn't it?—a resounding agreement on the union to solve the issue would simply be to create multiple children.
Children were, afterall, simply instruments to carry out traditions, weren't they? Individuality didn't matter. Individuality was lost in the tides of familial love and the bonds of blood.
After all these years, Shino had thought that somehow… things could be different.
How foolish of you, young Aburame.
"Would you be able to raise the child to have greater control of its kikai? While we understand well enough the importance of passing down hidden techniques, it would be rather unsightly to have an insect-related disturbance in the Hyuuga compound should the pair choose to visit."
"It would not be an issue. We maintain our insects rather well."
"Perhaps a few members of the Hyuuga could watch the children develop? Act as babysitters or servants of some sort? Monitoring their behavior so the insects don't become too much for our clan, in all due respect."
"We… can discuss that idea, yes."
Shino's eyebrows furrowed.
Since when had the Aburame been so quick to fall into submission? That was not the first of remarks along those lines. A few Hyuuga elders had made rather flippant comments earlier towards their kikaichu, unabashed and unashamed in not hiding their utter disgust towards his family's insects.
Were the Aburame really so desperate to match off their heir that they would forgo their own identities? Their kikai were as much a part of them as their own organs. Though the level varied among members, all Aburame undoubtedly loved their kikai. An Aburame's insects were as key to their being as a Hyuuga's eyes, to an Inuzuka's nose and their hound companion.
They were all losing themselves.
But they are your family, aren't they? If the Aburame are lost, would it not be better to be lost with them?
More chatter in the background as his mind became cloudy.
"There are no previous relationships we should be aware of regarding either parties, correct? We wouldn't want to have any issues with possible illegitimate children."
A few murmurs and hums of agreement. An illegitimate child created out of the borders of their controlled bureaucracy certainly would be a scandalous event to spread around the gossip-privy Konoha.
"No," Hiashi answered for her. There was heavy finality in his tone.
Hanabi's head bowed as she quickly wiped at a stray tear. Such was the position of heir, she had learned to accept, to be swept away by the responsibilities of a powerful family.
Hinata was lucky to have gotten away.
"No," Shibi answered for him.
Shino felt a heady cocktail of emotions swirl about within his chest.
"But I do," he wanted to shout aloud. "I have a beautiful girlfriend I've seen for a year who smells like the sun and honey and wildflowers and loves every inch of me. I love her, but you would never approve of her, would you? Why?"
"This does seem like a fitting match, doesn't it? I'm glad we were able to come together on such short notice."
More murmurs of agreement in the sea.
"Because the hatred of our past deems it necessary to hate the blood that runs through her veins."
He could feel a headache brewing. The Aburame heir wished he could go back home, where all was calm and his head was free of clouds—where all of the noise would simply go away.
Why not just join them in the drowning hatred? They are your family, after all. Wasn't it dramatically foolish of you to hold her heart in your hands and think she could stay there?
He winced. The whispers and murmurs seemed to grow even louder.
It seemed like almost the entire room was in agreement. From eldest Aburame to eldest Hyuuga.
It was a powerful union that would be beneficial for both noble sides. The children would be strong, healthy, and more than capable enough of carrying on their traditions, no doubt raised to be shining prodigious stars to add to the force of their militaristic Land of Fire.
Everyone agreed.
Everyone was happy.
Except for the two people being forced together.
But it's not as if they had a choice to start with.
"Almost 34 years old. Happy birthday to me."
"Are we all in agreement then, Shibi? I would like for us to start preparations as soon as springtime comes, if at all possible," Hiashi said. White eyes glanced over to his youngest daughter, briefly softening before returning to their hardened state. "Our children aren't getting any younger."
Shibi stared at the imperial Hyuuga before him.
From their position in the middle of the room, the Aburame leader was in fact closest to his son despite the large amount of physical distance between them. The distance seemed to be growing larger and larger as Shibi's heart grew colder and his doubts ran amok.
This is for the best, right?
Had Shibi's own father still been alive while he was in his bachelor years, no doubt Shinta would have arranged a marriage for his son. Shinta would encourage the union, agreeing without fail. Even if Shibi were unhappy, he would be doing what was best for the clan.
His own father and his father's father would all agree, even if Shino did not. Shino would learn and accept eventually. After a few weeks of sulking, he would thank Shibi one day for arranging a union that wouldn't end in calamity and heartbreak—an experience he knew all too well. Shibi would spare his son from the curse that has plagued his mind for years.
This is what is best for Shino.
This is what is best for the Aburame. Everything he did, he did for his family.
"I think…"
Hesitation. Shibi cast his eyes to his son.
In the briefest of moments, the image of a forlorn adult man dressed in green with hair tied neatly back was replaced by that of a small child holding a butterfly net, wild brown hair sticking up every which way, and eyebrows furrowed so much like his father's.
His only son.
His little Shino.
Who at the moment looked so unhappy.
This is for the best, right?
"… Perhaps we should take a break."
Hanabi had left the room first after their agreed upon 20 minute break.
Shino—feeling immense guilt in his chest—went after her. He had no desire to look any of his family members in the eye, especially Shibi. He had been betrayed by his family, but did a part of him secretly know they would do something like this?
The council certainly. But his own father? Who had always seemed to support him in every decision he made?
Suddenly, the Aburame heir wasn't sure of anything anymore. Was he even his own person? Or was he merely a tool to be used for the benefit of his family?
"Do I even know anymore? Who is Aburame Shino? Did he ever matter in the first place?"
At the gates, he questioned the Hyuuga guard towards which direction Hanabi had run off. Tatsuma—for reasons still unknown to him—continued his silence, refusing to acknowledge his presence.
"Hanabi-sama walked towards the entrance of the compound, Shino-sama. To the East," the Hyuuga said with a tinge of sadness to his words.
Shino gave his thanks with an appreciative nod. As he began his journey to chase after the poor woman, who was likely sobbing from the unfair situation placed upon her, the guard left him with a few passing words.
"If you see Sarutobi-san with her, please don't feel offended. Hanabi-sama must adhere to your union as decided. She knows that."
His mouth tasted bitter.
"I can't, Konohamaru! Father and the rest of the council has his heart set on this! Now leave me alone!"
"Hey, don't yell at me! I said I was going to propose, didn't I? I can do it right here, you know? I don't care."
"No! Absolutely not, are you crazy? This is what's best for the Hyuuga. I'm sorry we have to cut things off like this, but that's it. We can't be together anymore."
"Just like that, huh?" His voice turned coarse. "We've been together for this long and your dad says one word and you're ready to drop all of it? Messed up, huh?"
"Stop it."
"What would it possibly take for your clan to understand that I wanna be with you? Hey, should I save the village to prove myself, too?"
"Stop it."
"Hinata-sama got off scott-free being able to marry whomever she wanted—"
"—She's married to the Hokage!—"
"And that's what you're gonna do! I got a long way to go, but I'm still in the running. Don't count your Konohamaru out just yet."
Rare laughter.
"You're too much, you know that?"
A pause of silence.
"What do you think about Shino-san? Honestly? He was nice enough at the Academy, but I'll still–"
"—Don't say another word."
"Huh? Why?"
"Because he's watching us."
His eyes flashed as he approached from the leafless brush. The Aburame had only wanted to see if the Hyuuga had been doing alright and, not wanting to disturb her conversation with her obvious lover, inadvertently spied on them.
Why his mind had slipped that he was hiding from a Hyuuga he was blaming on his state of dizzying emotional turmoil and developing identity crisis.
He cleared his throat, a touch intimidated by the pair of blue and lavender eyes staring at him. He bowed.
"… Sorry. I wanted to see if you were faring alright, Hanabi. I didn't mean to intrude."
She let out a chuckle. Though her laughter was louder, Hanabi had the same lilt and rise to her voice as her sister when she found something amusing.
"Are you, Shino-Sensei? How are you feeling about all of this?"
Konohamaru eyed him wearily as he slowly approached.
"Frankly speaking? Betrayed."
The Sarutobi's eyes widened. "You mean you didn't know about this meeting, either, Shino-san?"
"My father pulled me from my home while I was in the middle of grading and said it was urgent." He managed a small laugh. "I knew the council wanted to pair me with someone, but I never expected they would do this."
"Yeah well, the Hyuuga basically marched up to your compound this morning and demanded a meeting with no notice. Sorry about that," Hanabi said through gritted teeth. "They didn't want to mention it, but word got around the compound that Konohamaru and I were seeing each other and wanted to pair me with a nobleman before he could propose. Stupid, right?"
He nodded. Hanabi seemed to be speaking to him rather nonchalantly and ignored the frown of her boyfriend next to her. It was rather strange seeing the normally rather happy Sarutobi look so bothered.
"I suppose we should get comfortable with each other then, Shino-Sen—I mean—Shino."
He glanced wearily between the Hyuuga and Sarutobi. The way Konohamaru seemed to create distance between Hanabi and himself, wrapping a careful arm around his lover's side with eyes slightly hardened in a jealous glare, suggested to Shino that the man was willing to put up a fight.
Not that he wanted one to begin with.
"I suggest," he began slowly. "We see how the rest of this meeting plays out. I have a feeling my father is still hesitating on the matter. Perhaps something might come about to influence his judgement. Hopefully they won't reach a conclusion by the end of today's meeting."
Does it even matter? You'll follow whatever your family tells you, right?
Konohamaru frowned. "So… you don't want to marry Hanabi?"
"… Not particularly, no."
The Hyuuga woman's brows slightly furrowed, taking some offense to his words and the rather monotonous tone he used. Despite her reservations, she had already come to terms with the fact that she would marry the Aburame heir. Her father had been insinuating the notion for quite some time now, and Shino was nice enough in his later years. Not at all the same standoffish, somewhat off-putting, Shinobi that would wait outside the Hyuuga Complex for her sister.
So hearing the fact that her unwilling husband-to-be wasn't as accepting of the union as she expected…
Well, it made her kind of mad!
"There something wrong with me, Sensei?" Hanabi jutted her hip out rebelliously.
Shino shook his head with emphasis. "Not at all. The reason I don't wish to be paired with you is because for one, you and Konohamaru are obviously seeing each other." He managed a smile of reassurance despite his emotional distraught. "And for another, I… well, I am interested in someone else."
Ha! Didn't you call her your girlfriend only days ago?
He shook his head.
Pathetic.
Had he been in a more normal mood, Shino might have been hurt over the open looks of disbelief apparent on the faces before him. It wasn't necessarily without warrant; sometimes, it surprised him too that he actually had a romantic endeavor when he thought about it too much.
Hanabi gaped. "Why don't you introduce your council to them? From the sounds of it, your clan just wants you to marry someone and have kids, right? My clan wants me to marry a nobleman, but if you can prove to yours that you're already in a serious relationship, my dad will be out of options!"
He opened and closed his mouth, words daring to spill out in a jumbled mess.
"I can't," he wanted to say. "In all honesty, my family might kill her if I revealed the truth now."
Maybe that might be for the best? You've used her up, haven't you? Discard her and move forward, dearest Aburame. You'll make your family happiest that way.
He shook his head again, feeling his headache worsen. Konohamaru and Hanabi gave him looks of uneasiness, sensing the thunder clouds that began to cast themself over the Aburame's mind as the meadow of reassuring flowers shrank within his forest of doubts.
"Did I even have a chance in the first place?"
You should have stayed away while you had the chance.
Just as he was about to clearly—clearly? Was it clear? —voice his reasons, the sound of his cousin interrupted their fading conversation.
"Apologies, Hanabi-sama," Tatsuma stated. It was the first time Shino had heard his voice in a while. "Your father is requesting your presence."
The Hyuuga's eyes widened before she trudged forward in a huff. Konohamaru attempted to stop her as he grasped her wrist. The look in his eyes was nothing short of pleading, while the look in hers was only apologetic.
As she pulled her hand back with a glare of warning, the Sarutobi seemed to deflate as blue eyes dulled with the stinging bite of loss.
"Take care of her, Shino-san," he mumbled before flashing away.
Eventually Shino was left alone with his cousin, who had strangely stayed behind. The man was unpleasantly silent as a cold breeze moved about the compound, making him shiver.
His eventual words rang throughout the quiet forest, enough to stop the spin of Shino's world on its axis.
"I know about you and the Kamizuru woman."
He stepped back. "… What?"
"I've known for quite some time now. How you visit her late at night. How your kikai have become accustomed to her own insects. How you've become careless."
"… Tatsuma, you–"
"–You need to end things with her, Shino-sama. I've kept silent about her staying in Konoha. I've done you a personal service by maintaining my peace. However, should you refuse to marry Hanabi Hyuuga, I will immediately tell the council there is a Kamizuru spy in our midst, and that is a promise."
The Aburame heir's face flashed as dark brows furrowed with intense anger.
"You will do no such thing."
"I will have her cast from the village or kill her myself." In a rare show of emotion, the man's voice took an aggressive raise. He marched towards his younger cousin, a gleam of intimidation in his dark sunglasses.
"You… you are the heir of our family, Shino. Don't you care about how this would make us look? To be seen and so easily seduced by a member of their clan? The Kamizuru were better off dead. You should have killed her the moment you knew, just as any other proud Aburame would have. We made our mark by nearly eradicating their clan and that notion shouldn't change."
"Tatsuma, enough."
"Do you not understand that you are an Aburame?"
"I understand that fine."
Do you?
"Then act like one."
Silence sliced through the air like a sharp knife. Tatsuma observed him with a slightly clenched jaw before slackening.
"Does she touch you?"
"Stop it."
"Does she whisper in your ears of how she loves you?"
"Enough."
"She has bewitched you, Shino-sama. Tricked you into thinking she is something other than a charlatan. A deceitful w-"
Tatsuma's words fell flat as a storm of black attacked him.
The older Aburame was strung in the heir, feeling a rush of fear overcome him at the look in his younger cousin's face.
Shino stood with the power of generations, an arm held out in an intimidating stance, able to kill the other with a single order.
It was a deadly lockdown of eyes beneath shields of black.
Tatsuma wouldn't attempt to summon his own insects forward. He knew better. Challenging his royal-blooded cousin would have only one definitive outcome.
He would of course die.
For how lightly the Aburame heir carried himself as of late, there was no denying the sheer force of his kikai, exceedingly unlike those of the average Aburame clansman.
Clans—especially ones of nobility—had unseen ways of distinguishing their main families from side families. Be it a marking, a special monument, an ancestral home, or perhaps even a decorative article of clothing. All means of differentiating the knights from the kings.
The Aburame's mark was that of selection.
The kikaichu of the main family were descendents of royalty; ancient, godlike kikai with an ingrained ability to survive and outlast. Any Aburame within the whole compound could distinguish a main family's insect simply through the way they bred: incomprehensibly fast with an almost inconceivable way of selecting for desired traits in the span of minutes.
It had taken Tatsuma yearsworking with Root to create his perfectly sensitive kikaichu. Years of killing off and re-breading just to get them exactly right. Had Shino the desire to do so, he could create exact versions of the ones he utilized within weeks, perhaps hours.
Not to mention the fact that Shino was capable of housing millions within his vessel.
Shino—in many ways—could be seen as a perfect Aburame. He lacked the disadvantage of being unable to touch others like Torune, but only an Aburame of royal blood could possibly produce kikai with an immunity to the special nano-sized beetles.
Shino's kikai were the harbingers of destruction, able to rip apart forests and could—undoubtedly—rip Tatsuma apart and devour his body within seconds.
He was their heir. The face of the family.
Why then, was Shino being so foolish?
No, Tatsuma didn't want to challenge Shino at all. Simply snap him back into his senses. Being held at the Aburame heir's mercy and cornering him with a silent ultimatum was ideal. Yes, this was what Tatsuma wanted.
This was the turn in the story that would determine everything.
This was Shino's test of loyalty.
His flesh and blood or his lover.
If Shino were to snap and kill his own relative, he would be labeled a parricidal traitor. A submissive beetle poisoned by the Kamizuru's sweet honey. But if he were to let him go—knowing Tatsuma would ultimately force the Kamizuru woman away or kill her if the heir didn't comply—Shino could be a man worthy of the title of leader.
Shino needed to decide, and he needed to decide now.
He couldn't breath. The air is cold and his hands are shaking. Why is Tatsuma just staring at him like that, doing nothing to fight back? Shino knew he could, what with his years working under Danzo.
He didn't like that look of nothingness. What if he just...
As the godlike hand slowly closed to a fist, ready to take the plunge and murder in cold blood, it shook. Harder than it ever had before.
Just another move of Shino's fingertips and it would all be over.
Just one more push and the doubts would go away.
Are you really willing to kill your own family—your own flesh and blood—for a woman you've known for only a year? Did you actually care about her or just the scent of sex? You are an Aburame. You tried for change with your own family, but what of hers?
His head pounded as painful needles poked the back of his eyes. He winced at the pain.
The hand of god faltered.
The Kamizuru hate you and the blood within your veins, don't they? Perhaps even more than your own family hates theirs. That isn't fair, is it?
"No… it isn't."
Would she even be willing to put in the effort for you? To fight for you?
"… Yes? No? Does it matter?"
Would she? She's weak compared to you. If she grew nervous upon your first meeting, who is to say she won't bend to the whims of her family once the time comes.
"But she loves me, doesn't she?"
Does she? What do you want, Aburame?
"I want to be with her."
An agonizing pain in his temple shook him.
What do you want, Aburame?
"I want to make my family proud and have her by my side."
You can only choose one. You understand that don't you? One can't have their little cake and eat it, too. What will you choose, Aburame Shino?
What will you choose?
For once, Tatsuma actually smiled. It had been quite some time since he had last shown genuine emotion.
The hand of god was open, halting in its hesitant shake.
Shino had let him go.
The engagement had been decided.
When exactly, Shino wasn't sure. Everything had been a blur to him, as though he were trapped in a hazy, slow-moving nightmare and couldn't wake up.
Hanabi had accepted the partnership with a quiet air of dignity before leaving. She had touched his shoulder earlier, giving it a small squeeze before exiting the compound with the rest of the sea of lavender.
His father had looked proud of him. His clan elders had congratulated him. He smiled at their warm applause; he had no doubt his ancestors were looking down upon him, pleased with his silent acquiescence and complete submission for the sake of the Aburame clan.
Elation should strike at his heart, filling it with prideful glee.
He couldn't…
He couldn't even feel his heart.
He sat alone, under the buzzing light of his silent kitchen, papers strewn about his table with a pen loosely grasped in-between his fingers. Somehow the papers were all graded. When did that happen?
He looked around his empty home.
What time was it?
He was tired but couldn't sleep.
Who was he again?
He was thirsty, but his tea had long since gone cold. Tatsuma's words still rang in his ears.
"You need to end things with her, Shino-sama. Force her away. If her heart is as soft as yours, telling her of your engagement should be sufficient enough, shouldn't it? You have before the meeting of the Spring Equinox. Get her to leave or I will."
What did he do?
"You've chosen blood over love. Just as our Aburame ancestors intended. You should be proud."
He had her heart in his hands.
And with foolishly naive fingers and a foolishly naive heart, he had truly believed that he could keep it there.
He was an Aburame, just as Tatsuma had said. Just as his father had said. Just as his elders had said.
Just as… Just as… Just as…
He blinked.
Enlightening realization finally hit him, like a man lost at sea having finally found land or a man stuck within a deep cave finally emerging to the surface and seeing light.
Good. Now, you understand.
At long last.
You are an Aburame.
Who was he to challenge tradition? Who was he to think anything could change? Shino was simply a tool for his family's will.
That's all he was. No more, no less.
He should have known the moment after the meeting of the clan elders. He should have known all those years ago during the hunt for the Bikkochu. Known after his encounter with the beekeeper of Sora-ku.
They had tried to kill him. All of them had.
One, a sad hermit hiding from the outside world in their bamboo grove of shame targeting him for his lineage. The three others—weak and ridiculously proud of their tiny, insignificant clan—attempting to kill mere children because of their foolish pride. He hated them. He never actively sought to harm the members of the Kamizuru, but they always sought to actively harm him.
His heart pumped. He could feel it as his ire grew.
He could feel it again.
Bump bump.
He didn't feel pity for the Kamizuru clan. Not at all.
Bump bump.
They all should have died on that mission. Their existence was unnecessary—just a small note in the Aburame's history.
Bump bump.
His heart…
Bump bump.
He could force start it to life with hate. Just as his family would want.
Bump bump.
It would have just been better if they were all gone, the weak insect-handlers of Iwagakure, hiding away in their pitiable mountains.
Bump bump.
His ancestors should have killed all of them off while they had the chance.
Bump bump.
Nothing would ever change. Nothing could ever change.
Hatred was a vast sea, and Shino and that inferior woman he foolishly attached himself to were just insignificant grains of sand thinking they could influence its waves.
Bump bump.
If hatred was what made them strong, then hatred he would hold onto. He would be a powerful leader just like his father and his father's father. So on and so forth, so on and so forth. He would throw away his identity and individual desires for power and the ability to make his family stronger.
All that mattered was the Aburame.
If earning the right to rule was all he had left, then he would marry whomever his family set up for him, regardless of hate. He would hate whomever his family wanted him to hate, regardless of love.
Nothing else mattered.
Bump bump.
His eyes—lifeless, dull, and tired—found focus on the small photo held loosely between the fingers of his free hand. He had forgotten he even took it out.
It was unsightly, that bright steel-grey.
The Kamizuru clan should all be damned to hell. They were inferior compared to the might of his powerful Aburame.
Bump bump.
The beating of his heart was fast. Yes. So incredibly fast. It was racing with hatred, wasn't it? Adrenaline-filled hatred. That was good.
He was alive.
Bump bump. Bump bump.
He needed to make his family proud.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
He needed to be an Aburame for once.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
The damn picture wouldn't stop smiling at him.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump
"Don't look at me like that," he snapped at the photo.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
"Don't smile at me like that."
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
The walls were spinning.
His heart was racing in his mind. His throat was closing up. He was shaking. He was tired. He needed to sleep.
Steel-grey still looked into him.
He hated how happy they looked. They shouldn't be happy. They should look at the man next to them with hatred, just like how he hated her and all of her family.
He ripped the photo in half.
That should do it, right?
"It's not surprising that your favorite color is green!"
Rip.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
"What's your favorite part about winter, Aburame-sama?"
Rip.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
"She flashes her wings and hovers about her potential mate in a small dance."
Rip.
"I love you, Shino Aburame."
Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip.
There. Now he couldn't see her or himself anymore. The happy memory was torn to shreds by his own hand.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
His heart was beating too fast.
I'm running out of time.
It was painful.
Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip. Rip.
He clasped his chest.
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
It hurt.
He found his way to the sink and tried to dry heave into it, hunched over like an alcoholic dispelling the toxins after a night of binge drinking. Maybe he could throw up the toxins.
Maybe he could throw up his heart.
He couldn't breathe. The walls were closing all around him.
He was trapped and he couldn't breath.
"I love you, Shino Aburame."
When had his kikai gotten loose?
Go away.
Go away.
Go away.
He fell to the floor with a wheeze of pain, feeling the cold tiling against his heated skin.
He was hot. Or was he cold?
What time was it?
He needed to sleep.
"I love you, Shino Aburame."
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
"Well, I hate you."
"I love you, Shino Aburame."
"I hate you."
Bump bump bump bump bump bump bump…
He let out a low cry in the silence of his lonely home, closing his arms around his entirely too hot or entirely too cold body, laying on the floor in a fetal position as he waited for the dream to end. He felt like a child again. Just a naive little Aburame child that wanted to make his hero proud.
"I'm proud of you, son. You're doing exactly what an Aburame should be doing."
Between disgusting, pitiful tears he mumbled the disgusting, pitiful words over and over and over again.
"I love you, I love you, I love you."
What was she doing wrong?
It started on his birthday.
She had waited outside of the Academy for hours until he finally got out from work. She stood patiently shivering underneath the winter sky full of stars, hoping to greet and congratulate him on a beautiful 34 years of life. She even bought him a present.
Her fingers were cold. Her bones were chilled. She was hungry and so very tired of standing, but she hadn't left her spot. It was Shino's birthday! She had already waited a few hours. A few more wouldn't hurt, would it?
"Happy birthday, Shino!"
"… You shouldn't have waited so long."
She blinked at the clipped response. Unperturbed, she continued.
"Well, I wanted to wait for you! I want to take you out. If that's ok? I wasn't sure if you had any plans, but–"
"—I do. Unfortunately. You should go home and get some rest."
"… What?"
It was night time again.
He did this all last week, too. And the week before that.
Leaving work late, walking ahead of her at an impossibly brisk pace, directly towards the Aburame complex. He escaped her by going there, to his impenetrable forest. It was the one place she couldn't follow.
Clipped responses and short comments. Even a few snaps of irritation when she tried to touch him.
It was like he was a completely different person.
Had this been any other man, Kamizuru Mitsubachi would have taken the hint and left, going on with her life with a sigh of acceptance and never looking back.
But this wasn't any other man! This was Aburame Shino. The man who made her stay, the man who cared about her, the man who came to her apartment late and occasionally slept on her bed. The holder of her heart. The man that loved her just as much as she loved him.
… Right?
Her steel-grey brightened upon his wayward form. She noticed as he said goodbye to one of his coworkers, a normal, slightly reserved smile on his face.
It fell flat when he saw her, and she struggled with every bit of her might not to cry.
"Shino!"
"You need to stop waiting here so late," he said, already moving past her. "It's not healthy."
"I… I just wanted to see you."
That had been her reasoning every night she came, standing foolishly in the cold. Always the same rhetoric, always spoken in the exact same whiny, pitiful tone. The Aburame knew what was coming and readied a preemptive response.
"I would not like to come over," came next. "Thank you."
She felt tears already begin their stream downward, maring her cheeks like they had done in the last few days. The sting of salt partnered well with the sting of the cold, in her raw opinion. It hurt more. She brushed them away with the rough surface of her wool mittens, scratching the area underneath her eyes and inadvertently making the skin turn a harsh red.
"Don't you want to… to plan? What about the meeting with your father? Spring is coming soon. I hope you haven't forgotten."
A pause.
A hope.
"… It would be in both of our best interests to call it quits on the meeting. I apologize for not telling you sooner."
The hope came crumbling down.
Down…
Down…
Down…
They were almost to the Aburame compound. He was escaping her again, wriggling his way back into the solitude of his home and his forest to avoid her. He knew she could never follow him there.
She hated always staring at his back.
He refused to walk next to her anymore. Even if she managed to beat his brisk pace and walk ahead, he would always end up first.
He didn't look at her anymore either, chin always slightly upturned as he stared forward, like he was looking down on her and her futile attempts to rekindle what used to be not long ago. What happened? Only weeks ago did this man look at her with love and adoration, and now? He wasn't looking at her. No, now he was looking down on her like she was inferior.
"The Aburame may be quiet and off putting, but make no mistake! They have their pride and egotistical narcissism, just like the rest."
Sadness slowly faded as anger flooded her being.
"Would you please stop and look at me," she yelled with a hoarse voice and a tight chest. Mitsubachi quickly grabbed hold of his wrist, pausing his brisk movements.
Finally he turned around.
She wished he would glare at her, or look sad, or look disappointed. She hated that all she got from his expression was absolutely nothing.
The Kamizuru wanted to hold onto the red-blooded rage that seeped through her very core and made her see red, yell at this cold Shino imposter until her throat turned sore. She would scream and scream and scream at him from the heavens of how horridly rancid he was being and that things between them were over and how she should have known better than to ever let herself be so foolish as to fall in love with a member of his infernal clan of parasites.
"You're a monster, and I can't believe I ever tricked myself into liking you."
Her mind screamed at her to yell at him. Her hands clenched into tight fists beneath her mittens, as though she were readying herself to strike him on his soft cheek.
Why couldn't she just yell at him?
"My mother was right about you and your family."
He was right there.
Her mind and body disdained this man before her, wishing he would simply drop to the cold floor and perish alone. Her ancestors would no doubt be proud that she was beginning to wake up.
But her weakness… Oh, her weakness.
The weakness of a fool who thought she found a small slice of heaven in the Village Hidden In Leaves…
The only weakness that this shell of a man had total control over...
Was her heart.
Her soft, overly emotional, and weak heart. The organ toyed with the anger of her mind and the tension of her body, overriding this present Aburame—a crude monster slowly eating away at her feelings and sucking the love out of her very self—and replacing it with the kind man that always visited her honey shop. The kind man that always encouraged her since the beginning and spent time with her, touching her so gently like he loved her.
Just yell at him! Let him have it! Go on!
Bump bump–
Tears dripped down her tired, tired face.
You're such a weakling.
"Please," she wheezed pitifully, holding herself in the shivering cold.
How disgraceful.
"...Please just tell me what I can do to make things right, Shino. Don't just stand and stare at me like that. I… I'll be better for you, I promise."
Her mind was racing. Her heart ached. She wanted someone to hold her. She couldn't even comprehend that in the emotional storm that was tearing away at her from the inside out, she had removed her mittens and stripped off her jacket.
Despite how cold it was, the Kamizuru heiress had pathetically worn an extravagant top for today—eye-fetchingly laced and scandalous—hoping the sight would please him and appeal to his sense of manhood. She would give herself entirely to this man if that's what it would take.
Another brush of cold wind sent shivers down her spine.
Never before had she ever felt so small and weak. So unattractive and unsightly.
Perhaps she could equate this feeling to the day her father had left?
"I'm sorry for whatever it is I did to make you upset. I'll… I'll work harder to please you more! I'll do whatever it is you want me to do. Just please," she coughed out through tears, falling to her knees on the hard, snow-lined gravel path. Her hands covered her eyes.
"Stay with me."
He stood there, frozen like the ice that decorated the ground, as he stared at the wheezing, sad lump of a woman on the empty road.
He had a dream exactly like this one, waking up with tears streaming down his face and an agonizing misery in his heart.
You know what must be done, Aburame. For your people.
But he didn't feel sadness now. He didn't feel anything.
"You need to leave Konoha, Mitsubachi," he finally said. "Go back home to Iwagakure and never come back to the village. We were fools to ever believe we could change our clans' history, and you need to wake up and realize that."
Well, there it was.
It was surprisingly easier to say than he thought.
"Are you proud of me, father?"
Her words shook as she spoke with knives against her throat.
"What about our families?"
"The Aburame has no need to make amends with an insignificant clan like the Kamizuru."
"… But what about us?"
"It would be in our best interest we not see each other anymore."
A pause accompanied by an onslaught of heavy tears and hyperventilating breaths. Her wheezing gasps of regret and her whiny moans of disillusionment were more to herself; He couldn't hear them. Not at all.
"I thought you loved me…"
He turned away, his form escaping to the darkness of the forest. All of the flowers were dead and gone, faded through the seasons of a whimsical, childish fantasy.
The final strike sealed the nail in the coffin.
His coffin.
"You were wrong."
"I love you, I love you, I love you."
He couldn't feel the chill in his skin, the chill of his words, the chill of his heart.
As he walked away, he heard her loud cries echo through the winter night, eventually fading away into a peaceful silence, just as he liked it. She hadn't followed him.
He felt nothing.
Dr. Kei Tamura looked upon his formal letters of address, awaiting to be dispatched to Konoha within just a few short moments.
Almost everything was planned out.
His perfect cell sat pleasantly, the ghost of Hiroto Goya undoubtedly festering and rotting its pristine white walls, with a soundproof interior and chakra binding seals hidden along every inch. He had made sure to tip his contractors extra for the nice hidden touch.
Not even Konoha's Seventh Hokage could escape its clutches. He made sure to place a bed there for Kurotsuchi once the time came.
In a few days, Kamizuru Ashinagabachi—leader of the clan Kamizuru—would journey to regions unknown. She would be the proud, unknowing deliverer of his key to godliness, and for that idea alone, Tamura thanked her.
Descriptions from Kurotsuchi painted a picture in his mind of the woman.
Regal, queen-like, reserved, cold, beautiful in her older years of life.
He never had the chance to meet his little queen bee, but he would soon enough. He wanted to thank her, of course. She would be the one to sully her hands and retrieve the sickly sweet liquid worth more than gold.
He wanted to thank Kurotsuchi for being so naive towards the unsightly animals in their cells. It was sweet—and frustratingly tedious—how she would pay them visits with promises of wellness on her lips.
"They look like they're doing better, don't you think Dr. Tamura?"
"Oh yes, Tsuchikage-sama. Perhaps your presence and love is healing them?"
Dark eyes turned to an older inmate in his cell, fast asleep. She whispered with a hand along the sealed bars.
"Soon… you'll be back to normal soon."
He laughed to himself.
Of course her love wasn't healing them. How foolishly whimsical.
No, Tamura had simply been mixing heavier sleep medications with their food and water supply in order to make injecting strengthening steroids into their bodies just a touch easier.
Though they certainly weren't a perfect bunch—far from it—they would certainly be capable enough to help him storm the mountains of western Iwagakure and take what was rightfully his.
He wanted to thank his prisoners.
Immensely helpful pawns in his plan for perfection.
He was feeling graciously thankful, wasn't he?
And with that note, he wanted to thank the small, noble beetles of Konohagakure as well.
Clan rivalry was always so poetically dramatic. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that their clans still disdained each other below the surface of a reserved shell. It was engraved in their history.
He would use that hatred to his advantage.
The good Doctor Tamura made sure his letters to the Aburame were just right, months spent holed up in his quarters to ensure they were perfectly convincing.
Both were inscribed in the neatest kanji. One was a formal request for a mission.
Urgent mission in need of members of Konohagakure's Aburame clan.
Mysterious disappearances have been occurring along the western mountains of Iwagakure. This is a formal request for 2-3 Shinobi of Konohagakure's Aburame clan, which I've heard are ideal for silent reconnaissance. An old family friend of mine has gone missing since his last visit, and I am quickly running out of options.
As an incentive bonus, I have tripled the payment of a standard mission along these lines and am willing to pay more once my friend has been safely returned home. 3/17/XXXX
-Tamura, Kei PhD
It was a simple enough request. With the slowing of missions in general since the end of the war, he was quite sure the Aburame could spare a few of their noble members. It didn't matter which ones.
An Aburame was an Aburame.
All that mattered was the hatred.
The beautiful hatred.
Of course, Tamura made all the necessary precautions. A warning would be dispatched beforehand to the lovely little bees of Iwa, regarding an infiltration of three Aburame spies in their home territory. The Kamizuru needed to win this planned battle against his unsuspecting Aburame.
He had a feeling they would.
Another letter would be sent after the three beetles were taken.
URGENT:
DISPATCHED MEMBERS OF ABURAME CLAN HAVE BEEN TAKEN INTO CUSTODY. SUSPECTED VICTIMS ARE THE KAMIZURU CLAN OF IWAGAKURE. IN NEED OF DIRE AID. 3/24/XXXX
-TAMURA
Yes, it was all coming together.
He would use the three Aburame as his ignition. Undoubtedly, members of their tight-knit colony would come in search of their missing companions and the battle between bees and beetles would renew.
And in the flames of that burning history, Tamura would move forward with his army and take what was rightfully his.
Oh, yes. It was all coming together indeed.
Though Tamura had never ingested his own sweet creation himself, there was no doubt that among all of the prisoners of Cell Block D, his mind was most broken.
A/N's: Woah, it's been a hot minute! So sorry about leaving you guys for so long (if you're still here), and I'm sorry for pushing so much angst on you in one chapter, but it needed to be done! I'm slowly getting back into the groove of writing, so hopefully the next post won't be in our next lifetime lol
Nolwe: I sincerely hope the last chapter was enough, since I probably ruined everything I was building up with this one zoinks. It'll get better I promise. Trust ,)
Mercymadness: Ah, please don't cry. Here's your update, but it's not exactly a happy one :3