The shrill sound of my alarm fills my ears and I roll over in the bed before shutting it off. I growl before stretching my limbs. I look to my right and see that Ed is sleeping as tightly as a rock. He can sleep through anything. Today, we're four weeks away from getting married but what's really so special about today is that Ana went into labour yesterday evening. So with a little, her baby boy will be born a month before my wedding day, which would be so cool!
My fiancé looks so cute when he's sleeping. His blonde hair is messy from twisting and turning in his sleep.
"Ed, I've got to leave for work." I whisper as I fondle his left cheek.
He growls, "Okay. Call me when Ana has had her boy." He mumbles.
"I will." I promise him. "Shall I pick up something from Le Croix for dinner?"
"No, I'm having my bachelor party today. The guys insisted on it."
"Right, I totally forgot about it. I'll wait for you here then."
"I might be very drunk when I come home." He answers with his eyes still closed.
I chuckle, "As long as you're not going to kiss another woman, then I'm fine."
He opens his eyelids and reveals his turquoise coloured eyes. "You're the only one for me." He promises me.
"Good. I'm going to take a shower now. Get back to sleep." I kiss him quickly before getting out of the bed and walking into his en-suite bathroom. I totally forgot about his bachelor party. I specifically asked for no bachelorette party because I'm not in the mood. I don't want to celebrate my life without Edward, I just want be married to Ed in a month.
I walk into the red bricked Victorian building in Richmond, near Hampton Court Palace. Rory and George have decided to have this free standing mansion with white transom windows as their headquarter for the Oxford Royal Foundation. Through the last three months, we have grown Oxford Royal immensely, both in staff and in initiatives. We're now a ten headed team with Rory, George and I being the head of it. While Rory and George are joining the meetings two to three times a week, I am here daily. It's so heart fulfilling to see how many people are standing behind this ground breaking work. We've been hosting private meetings with lots of different patronages, initiatives and organisations. It's about healing people, helping people and shining a light on issues that are being otherwise overlooked.
Very little about our work is getting out to the public, which is exactly how Their Royal Highnesses and me prefer it.
"Good morning, everyone!" I greet the team of the ten people, who are already working at their desks with a cup of coffee.
"Morning!" They all cry back.
I walk over to Melody, who is my right hand. "Anything new?"
The blonde woman shakes her head, "No. The meeting for Save The Bees is in one hour."
"I'm excited about that one." I smile at her. We'll be talking about planting gardens in public parks and on the grounds of all Royal residences but also at schools and on university campus. Spring is approaching quickly so we need enough flower beds for the bees to feed on. George had a bloody good idea with this project.
Suddenly, my iPhone rings. I pull it out of my purse and see the face of my mother on the display. Oh, it's probably about Ana!
I look at Melody. "I've got to get this. If you need me, I'll be in my office."
Melody nods at me.
I rush into my office and close the glass door behind myself before picking up the call. "Any news on Ana?"
"Yes! She has given birth to a perfectly healthy boy!" My Mum's excited voice fills my ears.
"That's great! What's his name?"
"Valentin Alexander Romanov. He will be known as Prince Valentin of Romanov."
"That's such a pretty name!"
"I like it as well. I think they chose very, very well. The Russian Federation is very happy with the news."
"They already announced it?"
"Yes, a few minutes ago. Ana and Sasha are expected to release photos of Valentin very soon but she wants you to take the photo."
"Of course I'll do that!" I grin from ear to ear. "I guess Dad's pretty happy about getting a grandson, huh?"
My Mum laughs at the other end of the line, "Oh yeah! He's over the moon."
"I have a meeting in an hour but I can see her at around noon. Is Ana still at the hospital?" I know she has given birth at the Lindo Wing, in the same room Mum, Della and Rory gave birth.
"No, she's already home with Sasha."
"I'll pay them a visit after work then."
"Could you come by before that and pick up some more food that I made?"
"You're home?"
"Yeah, I'm cooking. I already brought them something for lunch and dinner but I figured to cook in bigger batches, so they just have to heat it up."
"They could also pick up the phone and order some food."
"Yeah but mine is better."
Wise words. I smile at my mother's confidence. "Okay. I'll be there at around seven?"
"Perfect! See you then!" She says before hanging up.
I walk over to the white door of Ana and Sasha's red bricked mansion. It's just two houses away from Della's place but somehow I've rarely been here. We just always end up meeting at Della's place instead of Ana's.
I knock on the door instead of ringing the bell, afraid to wake up the baby or Ana in Save they're asleep.
A moment later, the proud Daddy opens the door.
"Congratulations!" I say before embracing him.
"Thank you."
I let go of him, "I'm coming straight from my parents. I brought food."
My green eyed brother-in-laws chuckles. "Ella cooked even more?"
I shrug, "She wants you guys to have enough food in the fridge for at least a week."
"Then I guess we should listen to her, because she's been through it four times."
"Yeah, never underestimate my Mum's advice." I agree with him before walking back to my Aston Martin and opening the trunk.
"Oh, wow! That's... that's a lot."
"Yeah, I'm surprised she didn't move in with you guys."
"She wanted to but Ana declined her offer. She wants to do it on her own."
"Are they asleep?"
He picks up a few containers that are filled with freshly cooked food. "Yeah, but they should wake up in an hour or so."
"How about I watch Valentin - very beautiful name by the way - and you jump into the shower or lay down yourself?"
He nods, "Sounds good. I think Ana bit off more than she can chew."
I smile, "As always. Don't worry, I'm here to help. I can even reheat some of this if you're hungry." I tell him as I pick up the rest of the containers, shut the trunk of my Aston Martin and follow him inside.
"A shower sounds very nice. And maybe some sleep."
"Okay, then I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and watch Valentin while you do whatever you fancy." I tell him as we reach the huge open kitchen made of mahogany wood cabinets and black marbled countertops. The island is huge but not bigger than Della's or the one at my parents' house. Still, this house has enough space for four or five children easily.
"Ana's up in the master bedroom. I'll take the shower in one of bathrooms down here."
I nod, "I'm going to fill up your fridge and head up there afterwards."
"Okay..." He says before turning on his heel. But suddenly, he stops in his tracks. "Jo?"
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. This means a lot. To Ana and me, even if she's not going to admit it."
True, Ana is not good with taking help. She likes to do everything herself. "Any time. Ed has his bachelor party tonight anyway, so I've got all the time you need."
"You're not having one?"
I shake my head. "Not my cup of tea. I'd rather spend the evening with my favourite nephew."
I lean back in my armchair as Ana breastfeeds Valentin in the bed, her beautiful baby boy. She looks so happy and in love with her son. She looks like Rory or Char with their babies.
"He's wonderful." I breathe out.
"He's already changing, I'm telling you."
"Good thing I already took photos of him then." I say with a smile on my lips. Seeing my older sister with a baby is wonderful but it doesn't awake any need of having one of my own within me. I've never seen myself as a Mum but I've never seen myself as a wife as well. Yet, I'm getting married in about four weeks. Who knows, maybe Ed's going to knock me up on accident, however I will make sure with everything that I have that this won't happen. I'm super careful about it. The risk of a pregnancy is kept to a minimum - less than 1% - with me using hormonal shots and Ed using condoms. However, that 1% chance exist and I can't reduce it to zero without getting my tubes right of having Ed get his tubes tight.
"Are you thinking about becoming a Mum?" My blonde sister reads my mind like no other. Only Oliver was better than her. But he's no longer in my life and country. I wish life had a better timing for him and me.
"No. I'm thinking of all the ways to avoid becoming a Mum." I answer honestly. "I even had Ed remove the paragraph about children in our prenup. I don't want children. Period."
Ana sighs, "If I were you I wouldn't cut them out of your life completely."
"Children are a big responsibility, a lifetime commitment. I can hardly commit to a man, a child is too much commitment for me."
Ana nods before giving Valentin the other boob. "I understand your point of view because I was once skeptical about having children as well. Because I was so busy with the Academy. However, I'm telling you the high you get from the first time hearing his heartbeat or feeling a kick inside your belly... or having him laying on your chest after you've given birth. It's a feeling like no other. It's a kind of love like no other. It's worth it. I'd do it all over again."
"I'm sure Sasha is glad to hear it."
She chuckles, "He's already planning on number two but I cut him off. No second baby in the next year. After that, probably. But for now I want to focus on Valentin."
"I'm really happy for you."
Ana shows me the proud smile of a mother. "Thank you. I am too."
I lace my fingers with Edward's as we step into the flower shop of Sayeh and Galton, a luxury florist in London. Jenny, our florist, is going to show us the flower arrangements for our wedding and we'll discuss my wedding bouquet. Edward's mother is coming as well, she's been our wedding planner.
The shop is filled with different flowers that bloom during this time. After a long and hard winter, I am definitely ready for spring.
"Wow, this looks all so beautiful!" I breathe out as I see the classic roses but also tulips and hyacinths. All in different colours.
And between this flower ocean I spot Hannah, who is already talking to the blonde florist Jenny.
"Your Mum's already here." I tell Edward. "Do you have favourite flowers?"
"I don't know. I like roses. Doesn't everyone like roses?"
I shrug, "I guess. They're classic."
"Exactly."
Hannah spots us and waves us to come over. We're two weeks away from our wedding. I have no idea where time went. "Josephine, you look lovely!" Hannah greets me with the French double kisses.
"You, too." I give the compliment back before shaking Jenny's hand. "I'm so excited about this appointment today."
Jenny smiles at me. "I've made some arrangements in the showroom for you to choose. Mrs. Rothschild told me everything about the cathedral and showed me photos."
"I think we should have a look at them then." Edward says with a smile on his lips. It makes Jenny blush.
Honestly, I don't even feel an ounce of jealousy. Edward's a women's magnet but it doesn't bother me at all. Because I know it two weeks he'll wear a band around his left ring finger that will let everyone know he is taken.
We follow Jenny into one of the showrooms. "Do you already have any ideas?"
"I'd like to use seasonal flowers. To minimise the carbon dioxide footprint." I answer and stop in the showroom. It smells divine and it looks incredible! It's full of flowers in different colours and combined into different arrangements. Bouquets but also big arrangements that simply take my breath away. I feel like I stepped into some kind of magical forest.
"Oh, wow! I hope we're not getting all of these." Ed breathes out.
"Don't be silly. Of course not. You have to choose a theme and a certain colour spectrum otherwise this would look like a rainbow." Hannah tells her son.
"Anything you fancy? Do you have a favourite colour maybe?"
"I like red." Ed answers.
"We had a red themed engagement party." I answer. "I like whites or creams. Anything light and neutral."
Jenny nods, "Then the first five aren't going to make the cut. But how about those?" She points at some flower arrangements made from white flowers and greenery. "These here are made of white roses, hyacinths, azaleas and freesias. All flowers are in season - except for the roses but we can swap them out if you want."
"That's beautiful!" It's a huge flower arrangement on a big vase.
"It would be perfect table decorations." Hannah says with a nod.
"Do you like them?" I ask Ed.
"They're all pretty so I'd say you choose."
"I like this arrangement. That would look good on the tables. Could we decorate the church with the same flowers?"
"Of course. I thought we could make a big arch at the entrance to the church and decorate the staircase that leads up to the entrance. Inside the church I wouldn't do that much."
"Can we have trees like on your sister's wedding day?" Hannah asks me. Sometimes I think she's planning her wedding day. But somehow even that doesn't bother me, I just want to get married in two weeks.
"No, we don't need trees. Flowers will be enough." I stop Hannah. Ed's Mum can get over excited about this wedding.
"Good. Just flowers then."
Edward chuckles.
"Have you thought about your wedding bouquet yet?" Jenny asks me.
"It's a tradition in my family to have a bouquet of pink peonies on our wedding day. My Mum has started with it and ever since then every Bolton women held a bouquet of pink peonies on their wedding day."
"That's lovely." Jenny says with a soft smile on her lips.
"But peonies aren't in season in March, right?" Hannah asks.
"Sadly no. They start growing in late April but if you really want them we could get them delivered from overseas-"
"Except that wouldn't be eco friendly." Hannah interrupts her. "Myrtle, primroses and lilac are in season. I've had them in my wedding bouquet."
I gulp, Hannah's right about it. "That sounds lovely as well. Perhaps it's time for a new tradition."
David Morris, the owner of David Morris Jewellery on New Bond Street, places a white velvety tray in front of us. It has a variation of different wedding bands for us to choose from. David Morris is one of the most luxurious jewellery shops in whole London and with the Rothschilds only the best is good enough. We're one week away from the wedding and haven't had the chance to go wedding ring shopping yet because we were both so busy with the Foundations - Ed with the Rothschild Foundation and me with the Oxford Royal.
"Left side is men. Right side is women." David explains to us.
Edward looks at me, "You choose mine, Darling."
Right, we made a deal the morning after we got engaged. I totally forgot about it. "Oh, you're getting a sparkling one." I tease Ed before picking up a diamond wedding band. It's usually the woman who wears a sparkling wedding band but since I'm already wearing this monstrous engagement ring, I think Ed can wear something sparkling as well.
Ed puts on the wide sparkling wedding ring. "What do you think?"
It's sparkling less than my engagement ring but this is giving me the satisfaction I needed. "That's yours whether you like it or not."
Ed chuckles, "Okay. Then this will stay there until my last breath."
"That's the idea." I smile at him before looking at the selection of rings for women. Lots of sparkly rings but I'm aiming for a simpler band. I don't want to add even more sparkle to my left ring finger. So, I pick up a simple white platinum band and put it on. It looks so final.
"Do you like it?"
I've always wanted a band similar to my mother's. The one that got stolen by monkeys on Bali, not the one with baguette diamonds that she's wearing right now. She wore a wedding band that she designed herself. It was a thin sapphire band that was embraced by two rows of diamonds. Kind of like a triple coloured eternity ring. It was beautiful.
No wonder that monkey stole it.
However, with my engagement ring, another sparkly sapphire ring doesn't work. The royal blue would clash with the yellow emerald cut centre stone of my cluster ring.
"Yes." I decide. This is the best option.
It will have to do.
"Great, then I'm going to get them polished for you one more time before packing them into the box. You chose very beautiful rings, Mr. Rothschild and Miss Bolton."
I think this was one of the last times I'm going to hear my surname coming out of a stranger's mouth.
I smooth the ivory silk fabric of my wedding dress before opening the curtain. Today's my last dress fitting and Hannah even brought the Rothschild tiara, so we could see how they fit together. It's a huge glittery bandeau tiara with a centre diamond and lots of floral intertwining come out of it. It reminds me of the one Meghan wore on her wedding day to Prince Harry. Hers was modest compared to this. I'm surprised the Rothschild's coat of arms is not somewhere on it.
I step out of the changing room and walk over to Hannah. It's just her and me today as the rest of family has to work.
"Aw, Josie, you look beautiful!" Hannah's eyes fill with moisture.
She calls me Josie - like the tabloids. But I haven't corrected her because she means well. I'm fine with Josie. I am fine with any nickname, really. Nothing hurts me anymore. I've become resilient to all the headlines and stress.
I look at my reflection in the mirror. The dress was custom made for me. It looks stunning! The off shoulder style is modern. I still have to find a necklace for this dress to wear with. I wanted something sparkly originally but with the tiara on top of my head, I feel like it's enough sparkle. The A-cut dress fits my body shape perfectly. It had to be tightened two times as I lost a few pounds over the last months. There were days I was too busy to think of food. There were nights I worked through because I want Oxford Royal to be a success. Rory said this is a marathon, one that will last a lifetime but I'm acting like it's a sprint. I don't know why I have this need to accomplish so much in so little time but I'm listening to my instinct on this one. It's wrong when it comes to men and emotions but it has never let me down when it comes to work.
It's why I'm always putting on my A-game.
"Can we put on the veil?" Hannah's question's rips me out of my thoughts. "Just to see how it looks with the tiara. Perhaps we need to change the veil."
The veil was custom made as well. It's four and a half meters long and has all kinds of different flowers embroidered on it, including peonies. I might not have them in my bouquet but I can have them on my veil. It's my way to carry on the Bolton tradition.
"Of course we can, Mrs. Rothschild." Claudia, the assistant of Carolina Herrera, says with a smile on her lips.
Mrs. Rothschild. In less than a week, this will be the formal way to address me as well. Mrs. Rothschild... It has a nice ring to it.
"The dress fits you perfectly, Dear. Now that you've lost a few pounds it looks even better." Hannah says with a nod.
I didn't loose these pounds intentionally. It just happened. I run my fingers down the fabric and look at the tiara in my reflection. My hair is wrapped into a low chignon. It's smoothed and tight, so not a single wave of mine is visible. The tiara and the dress are the stars of the show. I'm just the one wearing them. I'm their accessory not the other way around.
Claudia walks back with my veil in her hands before carefully putting it on. It's made of organza and silk, worth a couple of thousands of pounds. My dress alone is worth half a million. The tiara on my head is priceless.
I'm a work of art.
A Rothschild work of art.
"Oh, wow!" I breathe out. This feels so real suddenly! I look like a real bride.
"You look magnificent! Edward will be blown away when he sees you."
Edward and three hundred ceremony guests. Paparazzi will be waiting outside the cathedral just to get a glimpse of me in this dress, veil and tiara. The media acts as if this is another royal wedding, when it's really not. It's about Edward and me. I keep telling myself this even more often now that the wedding is a few days away.
I touch the edges of the veil that have flowers. The veil has flower petals, pearls and even real diamonds sewed into it. Nothing's too expensive for this wedding. There's no limit when you're wealthy.
Suddenly, I can hear Hannah sniffing behind me. I turn around and watch how she wipes away a tear from her eyes.
"Oh, Hannah, I didn't mean to make you cry!" I say in a soft tone. I'd embrace her but the dress could get dirty, so I don't.
Hannah shakes her head, "I just can't believe my boy is getting married to such a wonderful young woman! And your children! Gosh, your children will be stunning! I can't wait to become a grandmother!"
Grandmother. Edward didn't fucking tell his parents about us not wanting children?! How dare he not tell them! They're expecting offsprings from us! I will not give him any children!
I will not make them grandparents.
I park my Aston Martin in front of my childhood home after a long day in Richmond. Rory and George are really getting off to a flying start with Oxford Royal this year. After launching their headquarters in Richmond, near Hampton Court Palace, the staff has been growing along with the work. It's amazing how much good we've already been doing with Oxford Royal. It's also fulfilling a kind of desire inside of me that I didn't know I had.
It's why I'm starting to believe I might not go back to Bolton's Enterprises after all.
But for now, I'm focused on my wedding in two days. It's crazy how fast the last eight months went by. Sometimes, it feels like yesterday that we got engaged.
Sometimes, it feels like yesterday that I broke up with Oliver.
I try not to think about him as much. Because I promised to leave him in the last year, in the past. But on nights when Ed's not home and I therefore sleep in my penthouse at Landmark Place, that's when the dreams of Oliver hit me so hard that I end up waking up with a sweat-drenched body and a tear-drenched face. I don't like the nights away from Edward. I don't like them at all.
I walk into my childhood home, ready for my here day spa event. My Mum, Char, Rory and Ana insisted on a spa treatment that involves sugaring, massages, a hair treatment, getting my nails done and everything I can't even begin to think of.
This also means I will see Ed again at the altar. It's kind of surreal to think of it but I'm excited for it. I had no idea getting married would give me such a rush.
"Anyone home?" I ask as I get greeted by an empty foyer. Usually Zeus greets me but this time he's not here.
I get out of my shoes and notice the dimmed lights in the living room. Something's up. "Hello?!" I ask again.
"Jo," I wince as I hear my little sister Rory say my name.
I look up and watch her staring at me from the gallery. A second later she rushes down the left curved marbled staircase that has a wall filled with framed photos all made by my Dad. I haven't touched my camera since Oliver. I took photos with my iPhone but never used my SLR camera. Maybe because it's tainted with memories and photos of Oliver.
"Hi."
"You're not supposed to be here this early."
"Mummy said eight. It's eight thirty."
"Already?!" Rory asks me confused.
"What's going on? Where is everyone?" I ask my little sister.
"Look, I know you said no bachelorette party and you have no maid of honour or bridesmaids and page boys because you're very modern, but these three days... please don't take them away from us."
"Oh, I'm sorry. How selfish of me to think a wedding is all about the bride and groom."
"It's very much about the guests, too." My sister smirks at me.
"Then I'm sure you'll be delighted to hear that my wedding won't be so modern after all."
"Really? How so?"
"I'm going to wear the Rothschild tiara."
My sister bursts out of laughter. "You and a tiara?"
"Yes. It wasn't a picture I saw coming either, but it's a Rothschild tradition."
"I see. Like the wedding bouquet?"
"Who told you about that?"
"I'm the future Queen of England. I've got my eyes and ears everywhere."
"Ed called you." I read between the lines.
"Yeah. He wanted to know how bad it would be if you had a different bouquet than us."
"I hope you calmed him down."
"Yeah, said it's just flowers and stuff."
We both know they're not just flowers, but I decide to let it go. "I asked Daddy to not walk me down the aisle, actually."
"What?! You're taking that away from him?"
I roll my eyes at her words. "I just wanted to walk down the aisle myself. Be a modern bride. A role model."
"Well, what did he say?"
I smirk as I remember his words. "He said he wouldn't have expected it any other way. Said I was always the rebel one of the three of us."
"Right because we all know the real rebel is Della."
True. She got arrested more times than I've got fingers. She went through rehab for an addiction she never had. But the cherry on top was her falling in love with her 23-year older bodyguard. I just hope she didn't pass that down to Caroline and Isabella. God knows Wlad and Della are up for many sleepless nights with those two.
"Okay, I'm giving you guys one and a half days."
"Why one and a half?"
"Because I'd like to spend my last night as a bachelorette in my penthouse. Alone. So things come full circle. After that night I'll be living with Edward. And I need to say goodbye to my penthouse."
But most of all, I need to say goodbye to Oliver.
"I still don't understand why Ed can't move in with you. I mean, his flat in Kensington is tiny compared to yours. Why would you downsize?"
"I love his flat more than I love mine." I lie into her face.
"Whatever."
"So, what's the plan?"
"We'll start with massages and facials." Rory explains to me. "Then it's the old-fashioned Nicholas Sparks marathon with wine and popcorn. Plus, we'll order pizzas from Luigi's. Tuna for you, of course."
The last time I ate a tuna pizza was on the movie night with Charlotte and Oliver in my penthouse, eight months ago. My heart fills with a sharp pain as the memory fills my mind. I push the thought away and put on a smile. "Sounds like a great plan!"
I completely relax as Ivan is kneading out all the knots in my back that have formed over the last months. I have to admit, my sisters and Mummy are geniuses. I had no idea I needed this until I got a taste of my first glass of champagne and facial. "This is heaven." I mumble.
"Best bachelorette party ever!" Charlotte agrees with me. The whole female side of my family is laying on massage lounges in the spa area of the house. We've had a steam sauna to open our pores before having facials and now massages. Really, who needs to go to some fancy hotel when you can get it all at home?
"It's not a bachelorette party." I correct her. "But this is very nice."
"I'm glad all of my planning is to your liking." Ana says and I can hear the smirk on her lips.
"I'm going to be glowing in two days." I mumbled. I will be the most polished bride ever!
"Speaking of your wedding day, have you written your vows yet?"
My whole tenses up at my mother's question. Vows! Shit, I knew I forgot something!
"Oh, that silence is a bad sign." Della answers. If even she got the hint than I'm in deep trouble.
"You have written your vows, Jo. Haven't you?" Char asks me.
"I... It kind of slipped off my mind." I mumble.
"How could that slip off of your mind?! It's you wedding in two days!"
"I was busy with the planning and the foundation-"
"Don't blame the foundation for this. George and I wanted to give you two weeks off but you insisted on working." Rory interrupts me. "You're a workaholic."
"As are you!" I hiss back.
"Girls! Come on, pushing the blame from one to another won't get us anywhere and it certainly won't be the solution to this issue." My Mum interrupts us. "You've still got time. You can write them today or tomorrow and if you can't think of something just speak from your heart."
"Or say I love you. That works every time." Della adds.
My head starts aching with a dull pain. Just thinking of my vows makes me go crazy. I bet Ed has his already finished. I bet he finished them weeks ago!
"Della! She can't say that in front of 300 guests! She's got to say a little more than that!" Charlotte says. I bet the massage therapists are going to remember this day for the rest of their lives.
"I'll think of something." I tell them. I mean, I have to.
"Well, you better come up with something fast because you're getting married the day after tomorrow."
I finish my yoga session in sync with the sunrise the next morning. After a good night's sleep, I felt so rested like I haven't in the last ten months. I'm starting to feel more calm and relaxed. I guess the last months of wedding planning and work was really exhausting. I can't believe I'm getting married tomorrow! It's so surreal!
Tomorrow, I'll be Josephine Rothschild. Mrs. Edward Rothschild.
I can't wait!
I roll my yoga mat together and watch as the sun rises completely. I love the colour play of vibrant reds, purples, oranges and pinks. It's my last sunrise as Josephine Bolton. Today is the end of an era and the begin of another. The begin of my life with Ed.
"Morning!"
I wince at my mother's voice. Zeus jumps up form his bed in the living room and rushes over to greet my Mummy. "Good Morning!"
My Mum runs her fingers through Zeus fur before walking over to me. "How are you?"
"I'm good."
"Nervous about tomorrow?"
"No. Were you?"
"No."
"I take that as a good omen."
She smiles at me. "You definitely can."
Edward and I are meant to be. It can't be any other way.
"Listen, I've got something for you."
I frown as I follow her over to the black Bechstein piano.
"Ed called me a few weeks ago and told me you guys still haven't found a song to dance to as husband and wife."
"Ah, yeah right. We kept listening to songs but none of them seemed to fit."
"Which is why I offered to compose a song for you two."
"What? You wrote us a love song?"
My Mum nods before sitting down at the piano stool. "See it as a wedding gift." She says before starting to play. A beautiful melody starts filling my ears. It creates goosebumps all over my skin and makes my throat tight.
I close my eyes and let the music be my guide. I inhale deeply as a kaleidoscope of colour starts filling my inner eyes. Slowly, the colours fade to white before I see... Oliver.
Not Edward.
I see us watching the Northern Lights in Finland, going horse riding through the snow, building snowmen and having a snowball fight. The scenes fades to us working in the kindergarten that was Liam's social project - when we pulled that all-nighter together and had pizza on the floor of the kitchen. My fingers and lips start shaking as the scene fades into us dancing in my living area in my penthouse. We're swaying to the music, to my Mum's song. I can feel his hot breath against my face, smell his smell and feel his hands on my body. I feel him like I've never felt him before.
And then the song finishes.
"The song has lyrics as well but I figured it sounds best without any words." My Mum's voice fills my ears.
I can't open my eyes. I can't let go of Oliver. I can't let him in the past.
But I have to.
So, I force my eyes lids apart and my lips to remain still. I can't break down in tears in front of my mother, a day before my wedding. I'm getting bloody married tomorrow!
"You don't like it." My Mum breathes out.
Her image gets blurry and I know I'm crying. My throat is so tight that I can hardly breathe. I inhale deeply and gulp down the memories of Oliver and I. We're in the past. My future is Edward. "No, Mum, I love it."
"Really?" She asks me before rising from the piano stool. "Sweetie, are you crying?"
I shake my head as she embraces me tightly. But I still cry in her arms.
"I didn't mean to make you cry." She mumbles as she rubs my back.
And she didn't. I'm not crying because of her or the song she wrote. I'm crying because letting go of Oliver is much harder than I thought.
I love you.
I stare at the only sentence that I have written so far for my vows. I'm getting married tomorrow and all I can say is I love you? What kind of promise is that? What kind of bride has so little to say, to promise, her groom?
It's because I'm back in my penthouse again. That's what's blocking my creativity, my love for Ed. I've already had two glasses of white wine but no wine can help me here.
I growl before picking up my iPhone. Maybe I need a little extra motivation from the groom himself.
He picks up after the third ring, "Hello?" I can hear loud chatter in the background. He's probably in White's with my brother and his friends. After all, we're getting married tomorrow.
His velvety voice feels like silk against my heart. "I need to talk to you."
"Well, that doesn't sound good. Is something wrong with the dress?"
"No, no dress fiasco." I say as laughter fills my ears.
"Hang on, let me try to find a quite spot so I can hear you better."
"Are you at White's?"
"Yes. Special gift by your father. Wlad called it a welcome ceremony into your family."
I smile, my parents adore Edward. "That's nice."
"What about you? Are you out as well?"
"No, I'm home." I say as I stare out of the window front in my penthouse.
"As of tomorrow, your home will have an even better view. One of Hyde Park with stunning Victorian architecture."
Yeah, after the wedding I have to leave my penthouse behind. Moving in with Ed and leaving this place is the last of my concerns right now.
I can hear how he shuts a door and suddenly all the noise disappears. "Okay. I'm listening."
"I'm sitting here, trying to write these vows and all I can come up with is I love you."
"You haven't written your vows yet? Wow, mine are done since weeks!"
"Ed,"
"Look, I love you is a great start. It's the truth."
It's a start but maybe it's also a sign. "Is this something we really want to do?"
"What's the matter?"
"It's just everything is great as it is. Your Mum-"
"What did my mother do now?"
"She voiced her excitement about future children at the last dress fitting. Children that we both don't want. Her voice was filled with so much love and hope for the future that I couldn't bring myself to break her heart. Why doesn't she know we don't want children? Why are you keeping her in the dark? My Mum's aware of it. She knows she won't be getting grandchildren from me."
"Well, she's got enough from your siblings."
"Exactly." I sigh, "I just don't want to screw this up between us."
"You won't."
"I screwed up relationships before and I promised myself I won't be doing it to you."
"Here's the thing. This is me, you're marrying tomorrow. Me. Nobody else. The same man you met in Paris. The same man whose car you drove and up until this day I can say Louise loves you as much as I do despite the many scratches she got from the grape vines."
I chuckle. I can't believe he remembers that.
"Concerning your writer's block, it's best to sometimes stop thinking about it so much. Go to bed and tomorrow you will wake up with a fresh mind. And if not, then you will say I love you at the altar tomorrow and everything will be fine. I don't need a huge speech from you, Jo. I already got your heart and tomorrow everyone else will see that you've got mine as well. I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait to wear that ring on my left ring finger that shows everyone what a great woman I'm married you."
I smile at his words.
"Is that a smile that I'm hearing?"
"Yes."
"Good. It's just you and me tomorrow. The rest's irrelevant. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Go to bed now. I love you."
"I love you, too."
I roll over in my bed, unable to find any proper sleep whatsoever. It's the night before my wedding so I probably should have taken something to sleep better. I feel hot and everything's to heavy, from the blanket to my pyjamas. If I don't fall asleep within the next minutes I'm going to have massive bags under my eyes the next morning.
I inhale deeply, trying to calm my nerves down. It's just a wedding. All that matters is that I will marry Ed tomorrow. No one really cares about the flowers, the band or the food that much. It's about him and I.
Him and I...
I'm dancing in my empty living room with Oliver to soft jazz music. We're swinging to the melody. I'm wearing a red ruffle dress. Oliver's in a black suit with no tie. I can smell him, I can feel him... I am with him.
He rests his forehead against mine and I stare into the sea foam coloured sea in his eyes. It's the most beautiful colour I've ever seen.
My lips are sealed like every time I dream of him.
"Don't let me go." His whisper rings in my ear as his hot breath touches my face.
He has never talked to me in my dreams before. Hearing his voice so clearly creates goosebumps all over my body and tears in my eyes. I almost forgot how he sounded like.
"Josephine, please don't let me go. Don't give up on us." He begs me.
A cold feeling fills my heart. My fingertips are prickling and my lips shaking. "Oliver,"
"Don't give up on us, Josephine."
I awake suddenly with a drenched back. My whole body is shaking as the remnants of my dream slowly fade. Oliver's ghost disappears in the back of my mind.
I get up from my bed. I need a drink. Maybe even two.
Whatever makes me fall asleep and not dream of Oliver again on the night before my wedding.
It's surreal to get ready on your wedding day. From the moment you wake up, to the moment you get into the limousine, there's not a second when you're alone or have a moment to gather your thoughts. There's constantly someone pulling on you, fixing your hair, veil or dress, wanting something from you. You don't even have a moment to catch your breath.
It is only when you're sitting in the limousine, when everything that happened in the past hours catch up with you. This is my wedding day. In an hour I'll be married.
I'll be Mrs. Edward Rothschild.
The black limousine stops at the impressive Abbey Church of Saint Peter and Saint Paul in Bath. It's a beautiful warm March day in this historic city. Bath as a world heritage is known for their Roman baths and hot springs, but it's also the town where the posh people stay when they have enough of London. It's the town where Edwards parents live.
I can hear the many Royal fans cheering on the opposite side of the road. We had to block the roads, knowing this will be a highly watched wedding with probably a few tv channels broadcasting everything that happens outside the church. After all, this wedding will be attended by The Prince and Princess of Wales, The Duke and Duchess of Oxford with their triplet daughters and The Duke and Duchess of Windsor with their twin girls. Really, it hardly gets even more royal than this.
"Ready?" Ana asks me with soft smile on her lips. She's wearing a bright blue Valentino dress with ruffles and a fascinator with feathers and a veil.
Our Daddy is already in the church along with the other guests. Ana wanted to drive with me from the hotel to the church. We drove through the whole town without saying a word. I thought I'd feel nervous on my wedding day, especially when I'm in my wedding dress.
Truth is, I am terrified.
The door on my side of the limousine opens and suddenly a panic attack overcomes me. My ivory Carolina Herrera dress suddenly feels to tight around my rips, the air in my lungs doesn't seem enough. I can't breathe!
My hands start shaking.
"Close the door." Ana's strict voice fills my ears. The door shuts a moment later.
And suddenly, I am able to breathe again. Confused, I look at my older sister. "What's happening to me?"
"You're having a panic attack."
"I'm having a panic attack on my wedding day? Literally the moment before I'm about to step into the church?!" I ask her shocked.
"Jo, I don't think there will be a wedding today."
"What do you mean? Of course there will be a wedding!" I argue back. "I've spent all morning getting ready!"
"Yes, but-"
I lean back, "I can't marry Edward." I whisper. I can't become a Rothschild.
"No, you can't. You're having a panic attack because your body is telling you this is the wrong decision." Ana says as calm as a buddha. She reminds me of Mummy. "You felt it deep in your heart, haven't you?"
I gulp, "I love him."
"But not enough to become his wife."
It's been eight months since I broke things off with Oliver and my mind is still focused on him all the time. I even see him in my dreams. I should see Edward, see our future together but I don't. I see Oliver. "No, not enough to step into the church." I admit.
Suddenly the door gets torn open again.
And I stare at Edward. He looks handsome in his beige tuxedo. Just like my bouquet, he has a white Lily pinned to his jacket. His turquoise eyes fill with love as he sees me in my Carolina Herrera silk wedding dress. I haven't put the veil over my head yet but it's pinned to the bun in the nape of my neck. The tiara on my head weighs a ton, too.
"Edward," I breathe out shocked.
"Jo, what are you doing here?! We're all waiting for you!" He tells me before looking at Ana for a second. "Is this your fault?!"
"No, no it's not her fault I just..."
"You just what?"
"I can't get out of the car." I whisper. He didn't even comment on my wedding dress.
He offers me his hand but I can't take it.
"Ed, I can't marry you." I whisper again.
"What?! Jo, is this because of last night? I was busy so I couldn't talk-"
I slip off my engagement ring and give the diamond ring to Edward. "I'm sorry."
"Sorry?! Are you fucking kidding me?!" He hisses at me. "We're getting married in five minutes!"
I shake my head, "I'm sorry."
"Fuck, are you serious?! You're humiliating me on our wedding day!" He yells at me. "Jo, I know you love me. I know you do! Why can't you get out of this bloody car?!"
"Edwa-" He shuts the door before I can say another word.
BREAKING NEWS: BOLTON AND ROTHSCHILD SPLIT ON THEIR WEDDING DAY!
We can exclusively reveal the biggest scandal ever! Josephine Bolton and Edward Rothschild have split! The limousine, in which Josie sat in, stopped in front of the St. Paul's cathedral in Bath but she couldn't get out. For minutes, the limousine stood there with no sign of anyone exiting it. It was then the groom himself who walked out of the cathedral and opened the car door. He shared a long talk with his bride before shutting the door and strutting back in. The whole scene was filmed by the paparazzi and well-wishers that had accumulated on the other side of the street over the last hour.
It was truly heartbreaking to watch Edward Rothschild get stood up on his wedding day.
We've asked both families for comments but neither wants to release a statement.
RUNAWAY BRIDE: Bolton flees from her own wedding!
Josie Bolton has done it again! The bachelorette has broken several hearts over the last years however none of them broke so beautifully as Edward Rothschild's.
In front of the world's media, friends and family, Bolton has refused to get out of her car in front of the cathedral. According to our sources, she's had another diva moment similar to the one on The Duchess of Windsor's wedding day when she wore that scandalous maid of honour dress and stole the show.
It was the groom himself who talked to his bride then. Edward yelled into the car for minutes and before shutting the door of the blacked out car and walking back into the cathedral he was seen throwing something sparkling - what many believe was Josephine's million pounds worth engagement ring - into the river.
The limousine drove off without a happy ending.
Understandingly, none of the families want to talk about what happened.
"Love is blind. It knows no social status, no skin or hair colour. It knows no ethnicity or age - your sister and me are the best proof of that." Wladimir says to me. "That's what your sister wrote to me on our wedding day and I think it applies to you as well."
I lean back in the beige couch, "You know."
"Of course I know. It's my job to know about everything that's going on in your life. It's my job to see without being seen."
"Did Ralph told you?"
"No. After seeing him for the first time and finding no information on him, I decided to dig deeper. I had extra men follow you and him."
Somehow, this doesn't surprise me. "Does Dad know?"
Wladimir shakes his head. "No. Just you and me. For now."
I nod, "Thank you."
He leans forward, "But Jo, you just eloped from your own wedding. I think you know why."
I honestly don't. "Wlad, I don't love him. I mean, I thought I loved Edward. Otherwise I would have never gone through with the engagement and even the wedding preparations but when the car stopped in front of the cathedral... I had a panic attack. I couldn't do it. I couldn't marry him." I shrug. "And I don't know why."
"Because you don't love him. At least not in the way you should to marry him."
"I don't love this other man." My feelings for Oliver are too different to be compared to my feelings for Edward. It's like comparing a VW Beetle to an Aston Martin - you can't because they're built for different customers. They're built to fit into different society. They're made for different worlds.
"But your feelings are strong enough for you to elope from your own wedding. That's something to consider, Josephine. And maybe there's more than one great love. Maybe you can have two... or maybe one will always be greater than the other. And obviously Edward is the smaller love. Otherwise you would have been Mrs. Rothschild right now."
I bite on my lower lip. Mrs, Rothschild... I was really ready to throw away my identity and become an arm candy. I was ready to commit... and then I had this panic attack.
And my world turned upside down.
"I don't know what to do."
"For tonight you'll sleep here. Tomorrow you will move into the guesthouse for the foreseeable future. Landmark place is going to be swarmed by paparazzi for a few weeks. You need to stay under the radar and keep your mouth shut. Don't call anyone but the family. No friend."
"What about Char?"
"You can call her. The line to the Royals is safe to use but the rest is off limits. No social media. No text or email in which you talk about them. Don't even google Edward."
"How am I suppose to get to work?"
"No work."
"I can't stop working!"
"Maybe you should even leave the country. Fly to French Cay - that's a paparazzi free zone. Or the vineyards in France." He thinks out loud.
"What?!" I ask him shocked. "I eloped from my own wedding. I didn't plan a terror attack."
"You might as well had. The Rothschilds are not a family you want to get upset and you've hurt them in the worst way possible! You humiliated them in front of the whole word. There was a camera team from the BBC that filmed the wedding - or rather what didn't happen. Jo, what you did may not be a crime but it's very, very close."
"I won't flee into another country."
"Brazil!" He says suddenly before nodding. "Yes, Rio could work. The Bolton Foundation is building a public swimming pool, a hospital and two schools in the next half year. You could supervise the work."
Brazil? That's where Oliver is.
My heart starts racing at the thought. Must be the adrenaline. "But I know nothing about building schools or swimming pools or hospitals."
"That's not so hard. Ryan could brief you over the flight. You should take the next flight."
"Wait, you want to throw me into a plane right now?"
"No, of course not. Tomorrow morning should be fine. Maybe six or even five thirty."
He's scaring me! "Wlad, tell me you're joking."
"Do you see me smiling?"
I gulp and shake my head.
"Listen to him."
I wince at my sister's voice. I look up and see her leaning against the doorway of my guest bedroom. Della has changed from her deep green Gucci gown into black sweatpants and a grey T-shirt. Somehow, she looks even more beautiful without the glamorous gown and the heavy makeup. "How long have you been standing there?"
"I started listening at Brazil."
I exhale, thank God she has no idea about Oliver.
"But don't think I don't know anything about this other men. Wlad and I don't have secrets." She quickly destroys my bubble before joining us on the couch. I twist my body to the side and look at her. Her life is exactly how she wanted it to be. It's perfect in her eyes.
While I destroyed mine.
"What have I done?" I ask her with trembling lips.
She wraps her arms around me and suddenly everything within breaks loose. I haven't shared a tear since returning from Bath, but now suddenly everything comes crashing down. With every circle she draws on my back, I only cry harder.
So, I cry in the arms of my sister and don't even stop when I feel Wladimir's heavy body lifting from the couch and hear his heavy thuds walking out of the room. I cry until my eyes are unable to produce any tears.
"Mum and Dad are clearing everything." Della whispers into my ear.
"I have to talk to them. I embarrassed them as well."
"You didn't embarrass anyone but Edward. You listened to your heart. It clearly doesn't belong in Ed's hands."
I gulp, after today I think so as well. I lift my head off of her shoulder and look into my sister's navy eyes. "I didn't want to hurt him."
"I know you didn't and deep down he knows that as well. Your timing wasn't perfect but it would have been worse if you literally couldn't walk down the aisle." She says with a smirk on her lips.
I chuckle, that would have been worse. "So, now I'm getting send to Brazil?"
"It's for your protection."
"I have to give up my job at the Oxford Royal Foundation."
"No. I'm pretty sure George and Rory will let everything stay as it is right now. No one will know where you are except for your family."
"Rio was the country Mum got kidnapped in, right?"
Della sighs, "They won't like it but it's your best option. You'll have a cover and you'll do good there. Honestly, even French Cay gets boring after a few weeks and six months is a long time of Sandy beaches and turquoise coloured water. You need work. Rio is right."
"I need to get home and pack my stuff."
"I'm sure Mum will do that for you. All you have to do is get into that hot bath that I just made for you. You need to relax and calm down. Tomorrow's going to be another day."
It's the mother that's talking it of her but I love her for it. "Della?"
"Yes?"
"How do you know you love someone?"
She chuckles at my question. "That's a little late to ask me, isn't it?"
"I'm not asking because of Ed. I'm asking because of Oliver."
"That's his name?"
I nod. "He lives in Rio with his family."
"I see and you have different feelings for both men?"
I shrug, "I thought I loved Edward but I'm beginning to see that maybe I was wrong. Maybe I don't love Ed. Or maybe I love Ed and have feelings for Oliver as well. Maybe I don't even know what love feels like."
"Well, I can only tell you how it felt like falling in love with Wlad because that's the only reference I've got." My sister starts before grabbing my hands. "I fell in love with Wlad faster than I knew. The moment I kissed him, I knew. I never felt such a strong emotion before in my life. It's was a kind of intensity I can't even describe. I love this man with my whole heart. With every cell of my body and soul. I'm obsessed with him and he is with me. There's not a second I don't think about him or our girls. They're my everything. My world. My universe... everything." She smiles at me. "I've read an interesting article in a medical journal once from Robert Sternberg. Do you want to know what he says about love?"
I nod because I know Della is all about facts and logic. And frankly, I'm just the same.
"His theory explains that love is an interaction between 3 things: emotional intimacy, passion, and commitment. From this model, Sternberg later created distinctions between the 7 types of love. If you find yourself between 2 types of love, remember that these classifications aren't black and white. Some couples move in and out of the categories and evolve to reach consummate love; others might be perfectly happy living as companions or romantic partners. Achieving a certain type of love might be very important to a couple; others might prefer to take a more laid-back approach. It's all about personal preference."
"What are the seven stages of love?"
"Infatuation, Liking, Empty Love, Fatuous Love, Romantic Love, Companionate Love and Consummate Love. Infatuation is the place where romantic love usually begins. It's that messy stage of crazy feelings and burning passion that makes you feel like you're the king or queen of the world. With this type of love the two people don't know much about intimate details yet they feel a strong mutual attraction. The partners couldn't tell you about the other's deep secrets, darkest desires or most important goals in life. But they could tell you what they find romantic, attractive and sexually desirable. There's no idea of commitment here. It's all about fun and passion. This type of love can transform into something more over time if emotional intimacy and commitment are added into the mix but this doesn't always happen. Many couples don't get beyond this stage of love and prefer to move from one infatuated relationship to the next."
Strangely I think of Oliver and me. We were definitely in the infatuation stage but we were also so much more. It was more than fun and passion, especially towards the end.
"Liking means you can always be yourself. You don't have to pretend or hide anything. Here, people are united by common interests, views on life, and the feeling of being understood." Della explains to me the second stage and my mind wanders to Ed and me. We definitely had common interests and views on life. But the feeling of being understood was something I only had with Oliver. "A couple can say what the other person considers their favourite hobby, what their close circles of friends look like and what their dreams are. They can recall trivial details. They are very strong in the emotional intimacy area, which leads to feelings of trust, loyalty, friendship and bonding towards the other person."
I think of Oliver again. I know his dream is to become a doctor. I know he is right handed but he likes to solve the New York Times riddle with a pen and his left hand. But I also know that Ed loves to chew on his pencil when he reads something.
"Then there's empty love. Couples in this type of love are very committed to one another. The word "empty" refers to a lack of emotional intimacy and passion. This type of relationship sometimes appears after a big and intense love that faded over time. The relationship is particularly strong in faithfulness and stability."
No, I don't think I wasn't ever in that stage with either men.
"Fatuous love includes commitment and passion and is familiar to many couples. It exists when 2 people are really attracted to each other and are ready to take the next steps of getting married and sharing responsibilities."
That was definitely with Edward. I wasn't ready for any sort of commitment with Oliver but I did wanted to marry Ed - until a couple of hours ago.
"To the outsider they look great with each other and the people can't imagine anything ever separating them."
Yeah, definitely Ed and me there.
"Romantic love is a combination of passion and emotional intimacy. Many romance movies show couples experiencing the romantic type of love. They show you how it takes 2 people years to find each other, and then they go through a series of problems before finally getting back together at the end. These couples are deeply attracted to each other and share intimate experiences with one another, but they are not ready to make serious commitments."
No, neither men come to my mind although I felt deeply attracted to both.
"Companionate love can be seen in couples who live together, are deeply committed to one another, and treat each other as friends. Companionate love is built on commitment and emotional intimacy. This relationships are much stronger than an ordinary friendship and there's a true attachment between the partners. Yet, this is a rather chaste agreement because this type of love lacks passion, so romance, kissing and sex are usually not involved."
Definitely neither men.
"And finally there's consummate love. Consummate love is also called "complete love" in the Sternberg model. It involves the 3 components of his theory coming together: passion plus emotional intimacy plus commitment. This creates the vision of an ideal love according to Sternberg. Couples that fit this type might be intimate for the rest of their lives, talking long into the night about how their day went and the things that are most important to them. Remain loyal to one another year after year. You rarely see this type of relationship. If people manage to build them, it's cause for admiration. In this type of love, the levels of passion, emotional intimacy and commitment aren't perfectly balanced, but it's most important to note that they're all present."
I think of Mummy and Daddy. That's definitely their stage. "Which one are you and Wlad in?"
My sister shrugs, "I don't know. I don't like to label us in any sort of way. We're right just where we are."
I chuckle, that's so like Della - and me. "Do you guys fight?"
Della laughs, "Oh yes. A lot. And we have lots of crossfires. But trust me, the sex afterwards is always worth it."
It makes me think of Oliver. Our crossfires were always worth the sex afterwards as well. "Ed and I never fought."
"Not once?"
"No. Not even crossfires. Nothing. We agreed on everything."
"What about you and Oliver?"
"Lots of crossfires and sex. Lots of compromises."
"You compromised on something?" Della asks me with wide eyes.
"I did with him." I admit. But never with Ed. With Ed, I obeyed. Because I wanted to please his family.
"Why did you break up?"
I lick my lips. "I slept with Ed on Char's wedding day. For the second time actually. I told Oliver about it the next day because we promised each other to be honest. He was hurt. But then..."
"Then what?"
"Then he freaked out and told me he loved me."
"He loves you? What did you say?"
"I pushed him away. The next day I flew to French Cay and got stayed heavily drunk for one week before having enough. I called Ed, told him to meet me in Akumal and stayed there for two weeks. I have him a chance because I knew Ed had some kind of magnetic pull on me. Whenever I was with him, I didn't think of Oliver. Ed had charmed me in a way no one has ever before. So I thought we deserved a chance."
"Yet you couldn't marry him today."
I shrug, "I guess the magnetic pull has stopped."
"Do you love Oliver?"
"I don't know. My feelings for Ed were crystal clear to me but my feelings for Oliver are fogged. I don't know how I feel about him, not truly."
"Will you look for him in Rio?"
"I think so. I have to apologise. I didn't had that chance after we broke up."
"Because he moved back to Rio before you could talk to him?"
"No. He got caught by the FEDs and was sent back to his hometown. Turns out he was here illegally. I didn't know about it otherwise I would have helped him. I would have found a way to get him papers and get his family here. But he didn't tell me so I couldn't help him."
"Wow, he got here illegally?"
"In a container." I say with a shrug.
"Jo, that's very shocking... how did you keep this all to yourself?"
"Char and Ana knew. And Nate met him once."
"But not Mum or Dad..."
"No and I won't tell them until I have to."
My sister nods. "Okay. Now, get into that bathtub and try to relax for a while. I'll talk to Wlad and we'll make a plan. Mum will pack your stuff. If there's anything specific you need, just write her a text."
After a long hot bath, I open the door of the en-suite guest bathroom. I can see three suitcases standing at the wall across the king sized bed.
"Sweetie,"
My head swings around at my mother's voice. She's standing in the room with my father next to her. They're dressed in jeans and sweaters, it's far away from the glamorous gown and tuxedo that they wore just a few hours ago. They went through thick and thin together. They're my role model. They have what I never could.
My throat tightens at the image. "I'm sorry. I never wanted to disappoint you guys."
My Mum wraps her arms around me. "You didn't disappoint us."
"You never could." My Dad ensures me. "We've talked to Wlad."
I let my Mum go. "He suggested Rio."
"We're sending a team with you. Ralph and five other men. You won't go anywhere without them."
I nod. "I promise."
"Your plane leaves at five thirty." My Mum tells me with tears in her eyes.
"That's early. Did you guys talk to the Rothschilds?"
"They don't want to talk or see us right now. They're very hurt and disappointed. But things will look different in half a year." My Dad tells me before running his fingers through my hair. "I'm not mad at you. Your mother is not mad at you. You listened to your heart and it told you to not marry Edward. I don't know why and I don't care, all I care about is your safety. Rio is the safest place for you to be right now."
"We'll visit you as soon as we can." My Mum promises me. "I packed your clothes. There's a little bit of everything in it. The rain can be quite heavy in Brazil."
I nod. "Thank you."
"We love you."
"I love you guys as well." I tell them with a tight throat.
"Troy' I'd like to talk to Jo for a moment." My Mum says to my Daddy.
He nods before embracing. "I'll see you tomorrow morning. We will bring you to the airport."
"Okay." I whisper and watch him leaving my Mum and me alone in Della's guest bedroom. "What did you want to talk about?"
"I found something in your closet when I packed your things..." she explains as she starts opening one of the cognac leathered weekend bags that she packed for me. I watch her pull out a navy lumberjack shirt with green stripes. "It was stuffed between your undergarments."
I gasp as I see the piece of clothing. I had no idea Oliver has hidden that in my drawer!
"It doesn't really seem like Edward's style, so I'm wondering... whose it is? Whom does this belong to, Jo?"
I take the lumberjack shirt out of my mother's hands and smell it. His smell still lingers in the shirt. Goosebumps start covering my skin as I remember the only time I saw him wearing that shirt. It was on the day we met, in that café in Battersea when I helped him out and bought him his cappuccino. I had no idea this would be the start of something so wonderful that ended so badly. My hearts pains me in my chest.
I stuff the shirt back into the cognac coloured leather weekend back. Maybe I'm going to have the chance to give it back to him. And if I don't, I'm sure they're many other people who would be happy with this clothing. He would want me to give it away because he knows how many people in Rio could use it.
"Jo?"
"I don't want to talk about it. Thank you for finding it. I didn't know it was there."
"So, someone put it there."
"Apparently." I hiss as I close the zipper of the bag.
"Josephine,"
I shake my head, "I don't want to talk about it. I've had a shitty day. I left the man I love at the altar today because I couldn't marry him! I spent the rest of the day crying because I have no idea what's going on with me. And tomorrow, I'll fly to Rio and stay there for half a year. I've had enough drama for the rest of my life, so when I say I don't want to talk about it then just please nod and say you're okay with it. I know you're worried but right now I am not ready to talk about anything."
To my surprise my mother nods, "Okay, Sweetie. I'll let you sleep now. We'll see you at around four thirty in the kitchen."
"Sounds like a good plan."
My Mum embraces me tightly. "Just remember everything happens for a reason."
I have a feeling my reason is somewhere in Rio.
I walk down the spiral staircase that leads to the foyer on this early morning. I've put on grey cashmere trousers, a grey cashmere sweater and a cream coloured cashmere scarf because I know I'm going to get cold on the plane otherwise. I looked up the flight time last night before I went to bed last night and it looks like I'll be up in the air for over eleven hours. It's going to be a long flight and I'll be far away from my family but it's for the best.
I spot my suitcases and weekend bags in the foyer, ready to be taken on to the plane. I sigh, I didn't sleep a lot during this short night so I hope I'm going to sleep a little on the plane. I walk into the huge white marbled kitchen that has black and white tiles on the floor. It's already quite full with my parents, Della and Wlad and Sasha and Ana. They're all sipping on their tea or coffee without saying a word.
"Morning." I greet them.
"Good Morning, Sweetie." My Mum says before embracing me tightly.
"Ready to go?" My Dad asks me.
I nod, "Yeah..."
"You should have breakfast first. I can whip something up-"
"I'm not hungry, Mum."
"Told you." Della says to her.
"Ry came by last night and dropped something off for you." My Daddy says before handing me a thick black folder.
"What's that?"
"Everything you need to know about the projects in Rio. We booked you a suite in a hotel in Ipanema." My Dad explains.
It's enough reading material for my eleven-hour flight. "Good. Thank you. Anything else I have to know?"
"Don't go anywhere - and I mean anywhere - without Ralph. I know you probably sneaked out a few times without him by your side here in London but please don't do this in Rio. It's a dangerous city, especially the areas where the projects are getting realised. It's very important for you to listen to Ralph and never take off your ring."
"Dad, I meant in regards of the Bolton Foundation."
"It matters anyway. Promise me, Josephine."
I nod. He only means well. "Yes, I promise. No solo trips. Ralph will be everywhere I go."
"Okay, good." Suddenly my Dad embraces me. "I love you."
His breath is warm against my neck. "I love you, too Daddy." I whisper back with a tight throat.
He places a kiss on my left cheek before letting go of me.
"I didn't mean for this to happen."
"Oh, don't worry. I've made them go through worse." Della jokes before squeezing Wladimir's hand.
I chuckle, "I'll miss you guys."
"We'll visit you as soon as we can." My Mum promises me.
"Valentin's first overseas trip will be to Rio. That's a great destination if you ask me." Ana says with a small smile on her lips.
I gulp down my emotions before walking over to my older sister. "I want to see that painting you mentioned on my birthday." I demand. It may have a significant effect on my actions there.
"No, it doesn't work like that." Ana tells me before running her fingers through my hair. "But you can see it when you come back. It'll be there when you return. Don't be afraid. Be brave."
"But also don't do some impulsive shit." My Dad reminds me.
I chuckle again. "And if I do, I promise to have Ralph next to me."
"Okay, then you can do that." My Dad says with a nod.
"I wrote Edward a letter last night. I left it on the desk in the guest bedroom. Could one of you give it to him? Maybe not today... but in the course of the next six months?"
My family members all nod. One of them will give it to him. I don't need to know who or when... I just need him to know the truth.
It's a cold and foggy morning when I get out of the black Range Rover. The plane is already ready for takeoff. Ralph gets my luggage out of the trunk as my parents get out of the car as well. They insisted on taking me to the private airport.
I can't believe it's really happening. I'm really doing this. I'm fleeing to Rio.
"Josephine,"
I turn around at my father's voice.
"Be brave. Keep your head up. You will get through this. You're a Bolton." My father tells me before embracing me for the 100th time this morning. "You were never meant to be come a Rothschild." He whispers before kissing my forehead and letting go of me.
Maybe he's right. Maybe I was never meant to become a Rothschild no matter how much I wanted to. I look at my Mum, "I'll call you once I've landed. Or rather text you." I promise my Mum.
She wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. "We love you."
"I love you, too." I say as Ralph approaches me.
"It's time to board the plane." He says to me.
I nod, "I'll call."
"We'll visit you." My Mum promises me as my Dad embraces her from the side.
"I've never spent my birthday in Rio. It'll be fun." I joke before turning on my heel and walking up the staircase that leads to the plane with Ralph behind me. He will be my shadow for the next 6 months.
I greet the crew with a smile and a firm handshake before walking further into the plane. The last time it was used, it was for a four month world tour. Now, it's for a trip to Brazil. How much has changed in so little time.
I'm sorry for hurting Edward, but I am not sorry for not marrying him. I had this panic attack for a reason.
And that reason is hopefully still living in Rio.
My security team that consists of six people is already there. I greet them with a smile before sitting down in my seat. I fasten my seatbelt just as Ralph walks past me and sits down with his team. I think this is Ralph's biggest job. My Dad and Wlad must Trust him a lot to send him with me to Rio.
A few minutes later the plane takes off. I watch how it rises through the foggy sky before it finally clears up. I close my eyes and lean back in my seat.
When I wake up, I'll be in Rio.
Eleven and a half hours later, my private plane lands on Brazilian grounds. I slept half of the flight and the other half, I started my research on the many different projects that the Bolton Foundation wants to build here. Uncle Ryan gave me a list of the six different projects that include building a public swimming pool, a school, a kindergarten, a public hospital, a women's shelter and one saving the Amazon kind of projects. Needless to say, the next six months will go by in the blink of an eye. I'll be so busy that I don't even know I can do what I actually came here for: Find Oliver.
It's not a coincidence that the Bolton Foundation has six projects here all in Rio for the next six months. It's a sign. Like it was a sign when I panicked on my wedding day. As much as I love Edward, he and I aren't meant to be.
But perhaps Oliver and I are. I have to find him. I have to at least see him after one and a half years. I have to make sure he's okay. That he's happy, with his family and perhaps with the new woman in his life. I need to know he's happy.
Otherwise I won't fly back to London in six months.
As Ralph drives away from the tiny private Brazilian airport, I lean back in the rear bench. The last two days have been crazy and I don't think I've digested everything yet but Wlad promised me he would take care of everything. I trust Wlad. I still can't believe I fled out of the home country, out of the grip of the Rothschilds. To be honest, even here, the Rothschilds have ways to find me but I'm here with six security men so my protection is pretty tight.
"Have you ever been to Rio?" I ask Ralph as the city slowly comes into my vision. It's just time for the sun to rise.
"Just once. But I have some very good men here with us."
"Has anyone of the team ever been to Rio?"
"I think Matteo, but I'm not sure."
"I've never been to Rio but I always wanted to visit the Cristo Redentor."
"We can drive there right now if you want. I'm sure it's beautiful with the sunrise." Ralph suggests.
"Actually, that's a good idea. I'm not tired anyway. What about you? Do you feel awake enough?"
"You know I do, Miss Bolton." He says with a smirk. "And if you ever want to talk about what happened, I always have an open ear."
"Thank you. I'm sure I'll get back to that offer in the next six months."
An hour later, I'm standing next to the Cristo Redentor, a majestic statue of Jesus Christ. It reminds me of Oliver's strong faith. The arms stretch out so widely that it looks like Christi is embracing Rio that's underneath us. The Corcovado mountain is stunning and in the light of the rising sun everything feels magical. There's a slight fog surrounding us but the bright red, orange and pink colours illuminate the fog. The colour play is making the city underneath us glow. The marble Cristo glows in the same stunning colour play. As a photographer, I should feel the need to get out my camera and capture this extraordinary moment. But instead, I inhale deeply and am present in the moment. The eight months were a rollercoaster ride. I felt like I was an outsider looking in. Everything happened so fast with Ed. I feel for him so quickly that I didn't even question him when he asked me to marry him after just two months of being together. It felt natural. Like we were meant to be.
And then our wedding day happened and I ruined everything. I broke another man's heart because I realised I never gifted him my heart. Because my heart is somewhere underneath this glowing fog, in Rocinha, a favela of Rio.
"Miss Bolton, I brought you your camera."
I turn around at Ralph's voice and take my camera out of his hands. It's the same I took the photos of Oliver and me in Finland. Weirdly, I never took a photo of Edward and me with this camera. I hardly touched it during the time we were together. "Thank you. You know, you can call me Jo."
"No, I'll stick to Miss Bolton. Because we went through a lot together."
I nod before taking off the protecting shield of the lens. Then I start taking photo after photo of this truly magical location in this magic hour. Once I pressed the releaser, I never want to let go of my camera again. It will serve me right in my time in Brazil.
I inhale deeply again. Fresh ocean smell fills my lungs along with a herbal smell that's coming from the jungle which surrounds me. This is my home for the next half year.
Rio doesn't feel like a cage. It feels...
Like a new beginning.
Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it!
Do you think it was the right decision for Jo to not marry Ed? What will Rio bring? Is she going to find Oliver?
What do you think about the seven stages of love? Which stage were Jo and Ed in? Which Jo and Oliver? Or Della and Wlad? Ana and Sasha? And Gabriella and Troy?
As always, please review.
In gratitude,
Nicole