Warning: Talk of death and Irene's schemes...

When the day of the funeral arrived, everyone was all turned out in black. Rogue spied Cody and his friends as they arrived at the church and Cody mouthed, "See you soon."

The music started as the coffin was brought to the altar and the tears started anew. She felt her fingers pinch her arm and she didn't wake up. She was still in the church. The coffin had been placed on the alter and there was a hymn playing. She would never remember the words and her throat was all clogged up with bile.

They had opted for a closed casket, which given the damage from the accident, was the obvious choice. There was no other way to make her presentable to the public. Rogue had chosen a simple white top for her mother to wear, along with an ankle length skirt and plain silver sandals. Carol thought it a fitting tribute, knowing that Anna, who was rarely out of her work scrubs, would have appreciated the gesture.

The priest spoke in a calm and kind manner, giving a short summary of her mother's life. It didn't feel right. It wasn't right that someone who was so good, should be stuck in a box and buried in the ground. She felt Carol take her hand but shook it off. Now was not the time for Hard-Nosed-Carol (otherwise known as HNC) to show her feelings.

There was someone sitting several rows back from Rogue, who had perfected the habit of sobbing louder than was respectful, before blowing their nose into a tissue. No, not a tissue, she noticed when she turned her head briefly. It was a handkerchief, probably monogrammed. Though why this detail was so important, she didn't know. None the less, the action distracted her from her grief, however briefly.

When the time came to give the eulogy, she took her place, ready to speak. She had to take a few deep breaths, something the vultures would no doubt mock her for.

"Most of you know that Anna Green was a nurse. Although she was never off the clock. If people needed groceries, she would be the first to offer to get them. Any errands, people turned to Anna. She never fussed, no matter what time people called, nothing was too much or too little. That was the type of person she was. I know without doubt that she has earned her place in Heaven, and I can only hope that I can be half the person that she was."

The tears were flowing down her face as she retook her seat.

After the mass, she lead the procession following the coffin and had to deal with people wanting to show their respects. All day, people said 'I'm sorry for your loss' so many times that the words lost their meaning. It was all for the mourners benefit more than mine, she thought, bitterly. They only did it to make them feel better about themselves.

Cody remained by her side once they returned to the church hall. Any energy she had faded away and she slumped against Cody.

XxX

Over the next few days, Rogue remained glued to Cody's side. They mostly hung out at the beach or stayed indoors. On the days Cody couldn't be around, there was Carol. Between them, they made sure Rogue ate, even if it was something small, made sure she washed and did laundry. Carol knew that she wasn't a molly-coddler but found her charge to be more responsive to tactful orders and firmer handling. She rarely spoke but as long as she did the rest, Carol left her alone.

Sometimes a few of Cody's mates joined them but the others didn't really get the depth of her grief and the instances were few and far between.

She mentioned it to Carol, in a dazed and casual manner.

"Grief is a tough thing to understand. Some people learn to live with it, others choose to avoid it. You can't hold it against them."

"Why not?"

"Because they'll never understand until they face it and maybe not even then." Despite the subject matter, Carol was pleased to see that Rogue was considering the feelings of others. She would never begrudge someone their grief, but it was a mark of strength, that even in the depths of agony, Rogue had an awareness about her, that extended to other people. She wasn't trapped by her natural, raw grief, she was learning to move past it.

"So you're saying I need to get over it?"

"Don't mix my words kid. It's a terrible thing you faced and there's nothing I can say that will bring your mom back. I'm not promising to replace her either. I wouldn't do that to you. But you've got to make a choice kid. People's sympathy only goes so far and then you'll become a character, rather than a person. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "I miss her. I miss her so much it hurts." Her voice was a whisper but Carol heard it and allowed herself to offer the girl comfort, by placing her arms around her.

"Things really suck now, but it will get better."

Following their talk, Carol arranged for her to see a grief counsellor. She drove her to the sessions and waited in the office, while Rogue poured her heart out to the counsellor.

He listened and offered back the regular platitudes. She found talking with Cody and Carol more effective. As the session ended, the therapist suggested she start a diary. He handed her a plain red, hard-back notebook on her way out. She thought it might be a worthy scheme, at the very least, she could pour out her negative thoughts. Carol wasn't impressed.

"A book? An hour's worth of talking and all you get is a book?"

Clearly Carol wasn't a fan of therapy. Nevertheless, Rogue had always found she was better at recording her feelings rather than articulating them. The therapist had said he would not be looking at the diary, that's not what it was about. This was a private space for Rogue alone and would be put to good use. She waited until she got home to start.

However, all she could think of to put was the date and the following entry.

Had therapy. Talked about mom dying. Therapist nods and writes notes a lot. He gave me this diary.

She had expected to be able to write something more profound. Something that would inspire others, should they ever read it. Perhaps she'd be able to write something more succinct at a later date.

Luckily the doorbell went, successfully disturbing her.

Carol had ordered takeout. Carol didn't cook.

They dished up the food and sat at the table.

"So, I'm going to need to go back to work next week. Have you thought about what you want to do?" Carol was a nurse at the local hospital. They had been very good at giving her the time-off when they learned that Carol had been left guardianship of her late friend's only daughter. However, that time was at an end and with Carol being such a responsible person, felt she couldn't take advantage.

"Not really." It was the honest answer

"I don't mind you being here but I don't like the thought of you on your own."

"Cody could keep me company." Carol had given him permission to stay over some nights. She'd cleared it with Cody's parents before informing the boy.

"True but he has his own things to deal with. It's not healthy to depend on the one person so much."

"Maybe I'll visit Irene then?"

Carol took a steadying breath. There was no logical explanation as to why she disliked the woman and she couldn't influence Rogue. "Or you could try going back to work. Maybe they'll change your shifts? It might help you to gain some semblance of life again."

"I'll think about it."

No more was said that night as Rogue cleared up the dinner things before joining Carol in front of the TV.

XxX

When Rogue went to talk to her boss, it was agreed that she would be put on early shifts, minimising contact with customers. The early mornings gave her routine, meaning that she felt no guilt about being less productive during the rest of the day. Most of the work day was spent cleaning, which suited her fine, or doing laundry. After work, she'd meet Cody for a late lunch and chill at the beach or call on Irene. These visits were usually short as the older lady would rile her up about spending too much time with 'that boy'.

"You have to be careful, Rogue. You're very vulnerable now."

"You think Cody would take advantage?"

Irene never agreed or disagreed and Rogue hated the feeling of disapproval she felt from someone who wasn't her relative.

As the rest of the Summer continued, Rogue also spent time with the few friends she'd made outside of school. They had no time for teenage drama and were content focusing their energies on martial arts and kick-boxing. They had taken Rogue under their wing when she first moved there and were even more attentive now. As the youngest, they saw Rogue as a little sister and enjoyed teasing her about her beau.

"So have you kissed him yet."

She blushed before she could verbalise and they smiled.

"You lucky girl, he's really cute."

"Ah know."

Rogue enjoyed the time she spent with Cody, enjoyed the way he held her, how his lips felt against her sun-kissed skin. He was one of the good aspects about her life and she knew she didn't want to lose him. Lately she'd noticed his kisses becoming longer and his hands were firmer in their grip. It wasn't unpleasant, quite the opposite in fact. Her mother had spoken to her about 'taking the next step' and 'being ready', all the while reminding her about the legal age of consent, which in their town was sixteen. She'd had her birthday in June and the more time passed, the more she felt ready.

She decided to talk about it with Cody, knowing that if he wasn't ready then she'd have to wait a little longer. Unbeknownst to Rogue, he'd been receiving flak from his mates, who assumed they had already done the deed. They called him a 'wimp' for being the gentleman, ignoring Rogue's recent loss. But Cody had sworn to ignore it until both he and Rogue were ready.

Now that time was growing closer, he wanted it to be special. Rogue had a weekend free coming up at the end of August and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. They spoke with Carol about taking a trip and she gave a long stare.

"And just what do you intend to do on this trip?"

"Ah'm sure you guessed."

"I'm sure too, but if you guys think you're old enough, the least you can do is talk about it."

Rogue hated this type of logic adults were so adept at demonstrating.

"Fine, we're getting a hotel room and..."

"That's enough for me to hear. I suppose you're all prepared?"

"Mom put me on the pill."

"And Ah've got condoms. Well, my brother had them."

"I presume they're intact?"

"It's a new packet."

"Well, I know your mom had the talk with you Rogue, and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you, Parker, that if you bring this girl back pregnant, I will make sure you have no need of Cody Junior?" There was a thin smirk to her face.

"Er no ma'am. That won't happen."

"Then good, at least you're all prepared. You can go on your trip. But I don't want to hear any more about this. Not from you or anybody?"

"Why do you think we're going outta town?"

"Well let's keep it that way."

XxX

Rogue and Cody had left the previous afternoon, leaving Carol with a rare moment of peace. She didn't regret taking in her friend's kid. She was easy to get along with. It helped that they were both loners at heart and were quite capable in their own company. That wasn't to say they couldn't manage in other people's company.

It wouldn't be long before school started again and they'd already had that discussion. Carol had offered to send her to a different school, knowing her past experiences, but all that failed into the light that was Cody Parker. Rogue had refused to consider moving. She had Cody now and there was only another couple of years to go before she'd be off to college.

"So, you do intend to go to College?"

"Of course Ah do. Ah want a degree."

"Oh and what in?"

"Ah'm thinking English or Drama or maybe History. Ah haven't decided yet."

"Well, just know you've got options, kid."

With Rogue out of town, Carol allowed herself time to do the things she wanted. After a gruelling shift, she took herself to the gym and spent another couple of hours, working through the stress of an average lifestyle. Her secondary 'employer' had been on her case at getting back to work, something she hadn't been able to factor in before now.

She was on her way back home when she noticed the car behind was cutting their distance a little too close for comfort. Their bumper was practically kissing her rear. Acceleration didn't do anything to help, nor did travelling a different route. They were reaching a busy part of town when she felt her car jump forward after the actually made contact. She braced herself for further impact, only to hear the loud horn of an oncoming truck. She turned the steering wheel to slow her pace but the vehicle behind rammed her headlong into the truck...

XxX