Reflections

Lily managed to collect herself on the park bench, wiping her tears at the fountain and walking slowly to her house, still remembering what happened after that passionate embrace.

Sev had walked her back, down the same path she was walking now, hand in hand with her.

The next day they had gone to the hospital together, and by threatening not to see him again, she got him to be examined by the healers. He, too, had a cracked rib, and yet he hadn't complained when they'd embraced the previous afternoon.

Later they visited his mother, and also the next day, when they finally discharged her and she returned to Spinner's End.

They found Eileen's wand under the couch and she was able to re-perform the anti-muggle charm that the Ministry had withdrawn.

They spent every remaining afternoon of vacation together, mostly at Sev's house, since he didn't want to leave his mother alone until she was fully recovered.

When they returned to Hogwarts on the Express they didn't separate for the entire trip, alone in a compartment, she falling asleep on his shoulder.

The day after their arrival at school, Dumbledore summoned them both to his office to impose their punishment.

"I see, I see…" the Headmaster told them, while alternately looking at two documents. "Defensive spells and anti-muggle wards by Mr. Snape, and two days later healing charms by Miss Evans. All made in the same address. You are neighbors, am I wrong? I can get an idea, but tell me your version, if you would be so kind."

Lily waited for Sev to start speaking, but he was reluctant, looking at the old man suspiciously, and then it was she who explained the whole truth.

When she finished, the director said, "I understand... Certainly a compromised situation, which should be taken care of by the authorities and not by two teenagers. You, Mr. Snape, had no other choice, but you should have allowed yourself to be healed at St. Mungo's, lest Miss Evans be implicated. As you will understand, I must impose a sanction on you, I admit that much to my regret, but I cannot skip the formalities when it comes to matters that have come to the attention of the Ministry. I understand you are both excellent at Potions."

And he had given them a 'punishment' consisting of preparing, under the supervision of Professor Slughorn, for three months two afternoons a week, the healing potions necessary for the school infirmary... the two of them together.

"In this way you will learn to heal without the need of the wand, although my most sincere wish is that you will not have the need to do it again," concluded the old Headmaster.

Lily could barely contain her laughter as they left the office. "You were right, learning together to make healing potions, that's not a punishment, it's a reward!" she said.

But Sev was still very serious, as during the entire interview. "It wasn't necessary for you to give him so many details," he told her in a low voice, angry. "He already knew everything the minute we entered the office, even the little you haven't told him. Haven't you noticed how he was looking at us?"

"Yes, very closely…" still not understanding.

"He's the best legeremancer there is. By Merlin, Lily! Don't tell me you didn't know."

That winter was the best time for them. They spent more time together than ever, not only because of the punishment, but also studying, walking to Hogsmeade, by the Lake and even going just a little bit into the Forbidden Forest isolated from everyone else, often holding hands. The complicity between the two had reached such a point that they even sometimes did it through the corridors of the castle. The truth is that they looked like a couple...

Surely, precisely for that reason, the Shrieking Shack with the quartet happened some time later, and also the hostilities of the Slytherins intensified. She began to reproach him for frequenting them and he always justified himself by saying that he did it to protect himself from the Gryffindors. And at the end of the school year, when they were beginning to break away in a certain way, the attempted kiss under the beech happened.

Lily arrived home already calm, but not wanting to see anyone, she needed to be alone to think. Luckily her family was not there, they had left her a note saying they had gone shopping and she wrote on the back that she had already eaten something and she was going to bed because she was tired. She knew that her parents would respect her, and Petunia would even be glad not to have her at the dinner table. She locked herself in her room and fell onto the bed, hugging the pillow.

Now that she knew that Sev had been in love with her for half his life, everything took on a new meaning. That afternoon, unbeknownst to her, she had given him hope. The comfort of him against her chest, his shyness as she healed him on her knees, and his long gaze. How he clung to her hand and leaned into her shoulder closing his eyes, hoping maybe she would kiss him. The desperate hug despite the pain in his rib that replaced the kiss that never came.

He had told her, "More than anything... I don't know what I would do without you...", and she had interpreted it as gratitude for having healed him, when it was the mere truth. Until now she had not noticed the continuous conflict that was Sev's life, with his family and at school, he had no refuge but herself, and an infinite tenderness invaded her, as she had never felt for her friend.

And she had continued to encourage him throughout the rest of the school year; what she saw as an accomplice friendship he interpreted as another type of intimacy, and even so, he had not tried anything for a long time, respecting her, hoping that she would be the one to take the initiative.

By Merlin! How it annoyed her, but she couldn't help but compare him to the arrogant Potter, who harassed her, taking her for granted. Sev did all the opposite, he had never approached her verbally, avoiding putting her in the predicament of rejecting him and ruining their friendship.

And rarely was he the one who physically approached her, at most he held her hand, but he always responded to her signs of affection with warmth. And for once he had dared to attempt a shy kiss...

Lily started to cry again, drowning her sobs against the pillow.

…Surely driven to recover the intimacy that had been established between them before everything turned against them, and to have a solid reason to continue together in front of the world, she, frivolous, silly, immature, brat, had laughed in his face and hadn't even had the nerve to speak openly with him until she began to give him up for lost.

When Lily calmed down in her room, she tried to collect her thoughts. To begin with, she could already put a name to her feeling for Sev. She loved him with all her soul, she felt that she had always loved him, but her girlish heart had not identified her emotion.

To continue, she had to be patient, know how to wait as he had done with her, make him understand what she felt without forcing things, until they regained confidence and the magic returned.

And lastly, she had to take sides and protect him as much as possible from Potter and his henchmen, to lighten his conflict so that he could get away from the bad influence of the dangerous snakes.

With her decisions made and exhausted by her emotions, she fell asleep, and that night she dreamed of him.

. . . . . . . . .

Slowly passed the month of August, the loneliest of her life, without magic, without Sev, and with his sister constantly reminding her. "Where has your friend the greasy gone? He hasn't been here all summer. Better, then I just have to put up with a freak."

She felt exiled, and she was counting the days until she returned to school. The only break in the routine were the notes that Sev sent her, each time with a different owl, the first three days after going to Spinner's End, and then punctually once a week, all with a concise and invariable text:

Everything is going well. Don't worry and don't come home.

Although they couldn't completely calm her uneasiness, knowing that he wouldn't tell her anything that might upset her, and also feeling terrible that Sev would have to leave his home to go all the way to Diagon to send them to her, she didn't reply to any of them, fearing that it would repeat the unfortunate episode of the previous Christmas.

She asked her parents to drive her to the magical alley to buy the textbooks and supplies she would need that year on the same day of the week that he sent her the messages, whereas before she had almost always done so with Sev and Eileen by Floo from Spinner's End. Her parents were not surprised or asked her questions, since they had already realized that she hardly left the house, spending hours locked in her room.

She spent the morning, as they moved from shop to shop, peering through the crowds in the alley, hoping to catch a glimpse of his slim, dark figure, but she didn't see him.