Warning: Teenage angst, mis-communication, conflicting ideals, grief and rude language. Tumultuous emotions and a lack of comprehension. Enjoy.

Dear Scarlett,

Ah'm sorry it's been a while but things have been okay. Better than okay.

After moving from Mystique's to Magneto's, Ah'm now living at the Xavier institute. Things were bad between me and Magneto's goon, Sabertooth. He's a bully and just a shit piece of work. There were a few incidents but Ah don't want to talk about that now.

It was difficult at first, trying to adjust to the new regime. The X-Men are a good group of people, but they have so many rules and routines! Ah'm trying to keep up with it all and they're very kind about it but Ah know Ah can be better.

Everyday, we have training in the danger room. It's usually for an hour, then there's a mad rush for the bathroom and kitchen. You have to be quick or you'll miss out. Ah thought about trying to set aside some food the night before but someone usually grabs it, even when Ah put my name on it!

They say "Sorry, I didn't see it." And Ah'm trying not to get worked up about it, especially as Ah have to depend on their good nature for lifts to school.

It was weird to be back. It felt lak Ah'd been away for years, even with Dr McCoy's help. Ah was confident that Ah'd be back on target but now Ah'm not so sure. So after school, Ah try and get straight to my work in the library. Ah figured it would be packed but it's not. The quiet helps. Then it's dinner and unless Ah'm on the rota for cook or dish duty, Ah usually hide out in the library until curfew. Sometimes we have another Danger Room session but that's not every day...

The lights flickered up above and Rogue yells out, "Hey! Ah'm in here."

"Sorry" comes the sheepish reply of Hank. "I didn't see you there."

Well, what else did he think when he saw a huge pile of books on one of the tables in the far corner? Rogue stretched the muscles that were in danger of growing stiff as the man lumbered over and took a look at the books.

"I thought we had covered this."

"We did but there's no harm in reviewing it." Rogue hated the defensiveness that resonated in her tone.

"You know, I would be more than happy to continue giving you extra support, if you feel it would be worthwhile."

"That's good of you but you've already helped a lot."

"Well, think about it. I would make the offer to any of the students here and as it's my time, I am free to utilise it how I please."

He gave such a smug grin, she couldn't help but smile in return.

"Then in that case, Ah'll say yes to the extra help. Science and Maths have never been my strongest subjects."

"Well shall we say two hours twice a week? We can start after school and rotate subjects?"

"Thanks Dr McCoy."

"You're very welcome."

XxX

Hank was not the first to offer help. None of the other team-mates were surprised when Logan offered Rogue extra training. The fact that it was inline with the start of her therapy sessions made it all the more essential. She usually returned to the mansion worked up, the perfect time for a pre-dinner work-out. Sometimes Kitty and Kurt joined in but unlike the adrenalin of the Danger Room, this was more meditative.

The first few times Rogue fell asleep, much to Logan's amusement. He found it ironic that he saw so much of himself in this kid and yet she wasn't related to him. If things had been different, he would have definitely offered to adopt her officially but with the way things were, even he was sensitive enough to know that it wouldn't be a good idea.

Between school, extra tuition and therapy, the first few weeks sped by, even quicker than Pietro Maximoff. It was one Wednesday, when she was in Food tech with Lance Alvers. The teacher had partnered them together and left them to it. Rogue found it ironic that they had the ingredients for Rocky Road and was laughing to herself.

"What's the joke?"

She motioned to the ingredients. "We'll be making rocky road."

"And that's funny because?"

Conscious of the rest of the class, she leaned in slightly. "Think about it Lance. What's your nickname?"

He nodded and gave a small grin but Rogue just rolled her eyes. They made small talk through the baking process, most non-consequential.

"So you're a fully paid up member of the X-geeks?"

"Yeah, it makes a change not having to fight with your supposed team-mates, or having people support you, rather than expect you to do your bidding."

He had the sense to look ashamed. "Look, I'm sorry for what happened with the Brotherhood."

She shrugged. "It wasn't your fault that Boss-Lady is a psychotic bitch. Hey, do you know whatever happened to my car? Did Mystique have it scrapped?"

"It's still in the garage, although Blob and Toad sometimes use it for target practice."

She pulled a face. "Do Ah even want to know what that means?"

He grinned. "Probably not. I can try and get it to you if you want."

She was instantly suspicious. "That's very kind of you."

"It sure is. It's not many people that would go so far for an ex-teammate."

"What do you want?"

"Me? Nothing."

"Cut the crap Alvers."

The timer went off for their cake, defusing the situation. Lance waited until Rogue had removed the cake from the pan and left it to cool.

"You could put in a good word for me with Kitty?"

"Kitty?"

"Then I'd be more than happy to bring you your car. Heck, I'd even tow it to the institute."

"And it would just so happen that Kitty is there and will see how you're such a gentleman and fall madly in love with you..."

Lance couldn't hide the blush. "Well, maybe not right away."

"Do you even know where the institute is?"

"Course I do."

"Look, Kitty's a sweet kid and Ah'm not going to pimp her out to anyone. As long as you promise not to do a Fred Dukes, Ah will give her my honest opinion about you."

It was his turn to look worried. "Maybe that's not such a good idea."

"You don't even know what it is!"

He spoke, dejectedly. "I can guess."

"You're a decent guy Lance. You're only problem, as my mother would say, is that you're misguided. If you promise to bring the car, Ah will tell Kitty that you're not a bad person, you were dealt a shitty hand. But you've got to ask her out yourself, Ah'm not doing you're work for you."

He eyed the cake, knowing he'd taken the slacker approach, but at the same time he understood what she went. The teacher was making her way round, checking that everyone had completed the challenge. Most of the attempts had gone awry. Rogue and Lance had been able to identify the recipe follow made the appropriate dish. Lance was awarded a C for participation and Rogue a B for her knowledge. They divided the cake between them and left the classroom at the same time.

XxX

Back at the mansion, Scott and Jean were talking over some of the gossip that had been circling the school. Neither of them could lend any credence to it but they felt the least they could do was talk to the people involved. Well, at least the one they were currently living with.

They talked it over and decided that it would be better for Jean to approach Rogue.

"Maybe if you approach her on your own, that would be best?"

"Of course."

They were unable to approach her straight away, as Logan had arranged a surprise Danger room session. The scene was a night-time field setting, all the X-Men were in camouflage and were tracking their opponent. Scott was in full commander mode, issuing orders and coded messages. Rogue and Jean were one team, Kitty, Kurt and Spyke the other. They heard heavy breathing from behind as they reached a door in the woods, only for everything to go black.

Logan had cut the simulation and Scott and Jean circled Rogue.

"Rogue, you were told to stay with Jean, it was a team exercise."

"Ah was with Jean. She was right next to me."

"You went off on your own. I turned around and you weren't there. I had to let Scott know that we'd lost you."

Rogue shook her head in confusion. "But the breathing?"

"What breathing? There was none. There couldn't of been."

"What's the problem?"

Rogue felt herself fade out of the conversation as Jean and Scott made their claims known to Logan. He looked her over and at his inquisitive stare, she gave a nod, answering whatever question he had for her.

Later, she had finished changing after a welcome shower to hear a knock at the door.

"Come in."

It was Jean. Some vague resentment still echoed, souring her response. "Have you come to rat me out some more?"

"No, there was something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"Well come on in Ah guess." She motioned to her bed whilst she headed for her dresser. "Take a load off."

She saw Jean sit, from the mirror's reflection.

"I wanted to check in on you, see how you're doing?"

"Ah'm fayne. Is that all?"

"Are you sure? You seemed a little spaced?"

"Ah told you, Ah saw something, that you guys missed. That's it. Now say what you've got to say, otherwise you know where the door is."

Feeling hurt and taken-aback, Jean mustered the strength to not argue. "There's been some talk at school."

"What talk?"

"About you and Lance Alvers."

"Oh."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Did you know?"

"No I didn't know. But please enlighten me."

"Well, I'm not too sure what they said exactly, but it sounded like they thought the two of you were looking close."

"When?"

"Sometime today. Did you have a class together?"

Rogue paused before the recollection struck and she laughed. "Are you serious? That's what it was all about?"

"Well, yes. We thought you should know so that you have a chance to figure out what you want to tell people."

Rogue had stilled at the mention of 'We'. "Who else knew?"

"Well, Scott and I discussed it and..."

"What do you mean you discussed it? This isn't a military operation, it's High school."

"I..."

"Look, Ah get that you thought you were doing the right thing, but you didn't need to make such a drama. All you had to do was ask if there's anything going on between Lance and Ah and Ah would have told you the truth."

"And is there?"

"No. We were in class together. Ah thought it funny that we had the fixings for Rocky Road," She waited a moment to see if Jean understood, but there was a blank look on her face. "We were talking, that's all."

"Well, I'm sorry, we thought you should know." There was a curt tone to Jean's voice, as she stood up and left the room.

Rogue barely had time to sigh in relief before Kitty phased through the door.

"What was that about?"

"There's a rumour going around the school that Lance and Ah have a thing."

"Oh?"

"Even if Ah did like him, which Ah don't, it wouldn't do me any good."

Kitty gave her a look. "Oh yeah? Why?"

"Because he likes you."

"Oh?"

"He's offered to bring mah car here, if Ah promise to put in a good word for him with you. Ah told him Ah would give you my honest opinion, but he'd have to be a big boy and talk to you himself."

Kitty still hadn't responded.

"Lance is alright, on his own. It's when he's fighting or with Toad and Fred and Quicksilver that he gets all 'Look at me, Ah'm a walking talking Richter scale.'"

Kitty burst out laughing.

"Now, that Ah have relinquished my duty, Ah can tell Lance to keep his side of the bargain."

"Are you going to tell him about the rumours?"

"Ah don't think Ah need to, but Ah will."

XxX

There was an awkward tension at dinner. Jean had reported the conversation to Scott and was still stewing over the younger girl's bluntness. Rogue was slightly aware that Jean may be annoyed but wasn't too bothered about the fact. The dinner was a little bland for her taste and having tried it, chose to season it with some of the sauces she'd bought the last time she accompanied Ororo on a grocery run. She was trying to be discreet about it, but Scott picked up on it.

"Is there something wrong with the food?"

"The food's fayne. Ah prefer a little kick to it."

"Did you at least try the food first?"

"Ah did." She heard the own defensiveness in her voice and in that moment, hated Scott for making this a public issue.

Kitty looked at her friend's face and awkwardly added, "You had food tech today, right? What did you make?"

"Rocky Road."

"And you were partnered with Lance?"

"It was a blind bake challenge. You know, where you're given the ingredients but no instructions?"

"Vhat is Rocky Road?"

"It's this chocolate dish, with biscuits and syrup in, but we were given enough ingredients to make a cake out of it."

"Where's the cake now?"

"It's in my bag. Ah was going to put it in the fridge, but someone" she eyed Logan, "sprung a Danger room session on us."

Logan shrugged, unapologetically. "Hey, you've gotta be prepared. No-one's going to wait for you to finish a cake when there's an enemy to face."

The instructors nodded in agreement.

"Ah guess we can have it for dessert, unless the cook's already got something."

Rogue looked around the table. Kurt and Hank had been on dinner duty. The instructors were conscious that their charges needed to eat healthily, not only for their own benefit but to ensure they were at their best in the field. As such, they had compromised with a store bought fruit crumble.

"Well Rogue, why don't you get your pudding and then everyone can have what they want."

As Rogue went to collect her pudding, the others talked amongst themselves about their preference. Logan wasn't one for pudding and had made that clear already to the girl.

"You don't get to look like this and eat pudding."

Her reply had been, "Well it's not my fault you're denying yourself one of life's pleasures."

Logan knew how hard she worked inside and outside the Danger Room and saw no reason to hammer home the point. With both puddings on display, Hank, Ororo and the Professor opted to be diplomatic and tried both. Jean and Scott followed suit. Rogue felt there was something off in their reaction, as though they were trying to prove they were better than her. She let it slide, as she had often been accused of 'projecting' her thoughts and feelings onto others, but would have some good debrief time with Scarlett later.

As the puddings were diminished, there was a debate going on. Someone mentioned that some recipes recommended glace cherries in the Rocky Road, to which Rogue replied, "Don't talk to me about corrupting Rocky Road with fruit."

She figured it was Jean but couldn't quite remember. In the end, it didn't really matter.

XxX

Rogue's suspicions had been right about the others hearing the rumours and giving Lance grief. Why was it that people could be so idiotic? Lance had nodded to her in the cafeteria, clearly trying to avoid her. It was such a shame that something so innocent as friendship had to be derailed. She didn't have many friends. The X-Men were more like team-mates and she'd never get cosy with Jean. The thought was too humorous for words.

Once she'd finished lunch, she holed up in the library, trying to get ahead of the homework she'd obtained so far. She sensed someone standing over her and upon looking up, spied Lance.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it. The boys gave you grief?"

He shrugged, not wanting to go into the things Pietro and Blob were saying.

"By the way, Kitty knows how it is. She knows Ah'm not into you and you're not into me. The rest is up to you."

"I'll come by tonight."

"How is the car? Will Ah need to sanitise it?"

"Probably."

Lance was hovering.

"You don't need to stay you know."

"What do you mean?"

"You're hovering, Lance. People will talk, even more than they do now." She laughed. "If you stay any longer, people will talk about you swinging between Kitty and Ah. They'll say there's a thing going on. That won't do much good for your chances with Kitty. She's a good girl. Wholesome."

"Why are you here by yourself?"

"Ah want to get started on mah homework."

"You shouldn't isolate yourself Rogue."

"Ah'll bare that in mind."

She waited until he was gone before considering what he said. He was wrong, of course. She had priorities, is all, which would go so much better when she had her car back.

XxX

Lance arrived shortly after five and had to deal with a suspicious Logan and an obnoxious Scott.

"Alvers, what brings you here?"

Lance smirked. With Rogue's car attached to his jeep, it was pretty obvious.

"I'm doing a favour for Rogue. Mind letting me in?"

Logan eyed him suspiciously but pressed the necessary buttons to open the gates. Lance continued up the driveway, tailing Logan on his bike, while Scott followed in pursuit, with his car. Kitty and Rogue were waiting on the front steps of the mansion. Rogue had warned Kitty that Lance would be arriving and had had to hold back a laugh at how red the girl blushed.

"I'll say hello, but like, I don't know why you think I'm interested."

Sure, Kitty, whatever you say.

As it happened, Rogue had a front row seat to the toxic masculinity show featuring Scott, Logan and Lance fuss over her car and what work would need doing.

"It hasn't been run for a while. Tyres are in a bad way."

Rogue herself inspected the car, noting the dents and the state it was in.

"She'll need to be thoroughly cleaned," spying a dent that look like a fist, she paused, "What, did Fred punch the car?"

Lance shrugged. "I think he was hoping with you gone, he'd get to takeover your car. Mystique informed him otherwise."

"So he punched it? Jeez, what else did he do."

She popped the hood and noted the distinct missing engine.

"No wonder it wasn't running."

"Hey, the time was short I didn't have time to check."

"Don't worry kid, I'll see what I can do to get it up and running."

"We both will."

"Thanks but it's mah car. Ah need to know how to fix it."

Scott felt a strange sensation that he was intruding on a 'Rogue and Logan' moment. Not that there was anything between them but lately he'd felt that the ease of his relationship with the instructors was fading slightly. It wasn't something that was said but he knew things were changing.

XxX

As promised, Scott did his best to inveigle himself in anything Rogue was doing, purely by way of improving team dynamics. She was insistent on working on her car and Scott sensed the great patience and restraint Logan exhibited in the time she spent with him. Logan was used to being the 'handyman' but at the same time, wanted to encourage Rogue's proactivity. Even if he did have to repeat the same instruction a few times and make a job that would usually take an hour, take three hours. Still, he somehow held his tongue and held back.

Scott found it difficult to relinquish control. Rogue accused him of having a 'logical mind', whilst hers was 'creative'.

"What's that got to do with it?"

"Look, y'all see a problem, you find a solution and it's done. Same as Logan. Ah see the same problem but Ah have to understand how it came to be before Ah figure out how to resolve it. Besides, what if Ah'm out one night and my car breaks down. Ah have to know how to fix it."

Scott frowned. "You can always call one of us."

Rogue shook her head. "Ooops, my battery's dead."

Scott sighed, in defeat. "Ok, this is important to you. You win. But don't forget, you're part of a team now and we take care of each other."

Rogue snorted, "Sure, whatever you say, Professor Summers."

The moment, all be it a brief one, provided enough tension to last the remaining time.

XxX

Had anyone mentioned to Rogue that Scott was trying his hardest to 'win' her over to his way of thinking, she would have laughed in their face. Scott enjoyed the easy relationship with everyone else in the institute and some subconscious part of him wanted to bring Rogue in line. He was used to banter and perhaps took it for granted. With Rogue, everything was more complex. Logan tried to warn him to 'back off.'

"The kid has had it rough and you pushing her too quickly won't solve anything."

"I'm not pushing Logan, I'm trying to get her involved."

"Look Summers, you have to take it slow with Rogue. If you carry on the way you are, she'll feel backed in a corner. Trust me, I've been there."

Scott had no doubt that the older man had some similar experiences, but he was young enough and sure of his own position to act in the way he thought best.

When the car was finally up and running and Rogue wanted to take a test-drive, he offered company. Rogue was too surprised to think it over and accepted. It was something she learned to regret...

XxX

The others heard the sound of arguing from outside. Scott had a guilty expression on his face as Rogue yelled back at him.

"Yah'll just had to take control didn't you! Ah was already slowing down but no, Commander A-Hole had to take the wheel!"

"We were coming to a bend and..."

"Just back off Summers. Why can't you trust that Ah know what Ah'm doing?"

"I do trust you." He added, pleading.

"Well it sure as hell doesn't feel like it!"

They heard her storm upstairs and slam the door.

XxX

Having slept most of the day, Rogue was only stirred by the sounds of her stomach grumbling. She tried to ignore the noises and linger longer but they were becoming unbearable. After a brief shower, she stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. Someone was in the Rec room as the television was on low. She was putting together a plate when Jean entered.

"Hi. Are you okay? I heard about your argument with Scott."

Rogue grunted. "Probably everyone has."

"I'm sure he didn't mean to make you mad and that he's only trying to get you involved..."

"Jean, Ah know you think you're being a good person but stop. Scott doesn't need you to apologise for him."

Jean blinked. "I wasn't apologising..."

"And he doesn't need you to smooth things over between us. We can do that on our own. Do us both a favour and stay out of it."

Jean was too surprised to comment further.

XxX

Rogue was frustrated when the time arrived for her weekly therapy session. Normally she was able to talk her time away, releasing any pent up emotions and feelings to the objective listener.

His attempts to get her to talk only went a limited way.

"It's very clear that you're angry but I think it's important that you understand why."

"Ah thought that was your job?"

"I'm here to listen and point you in the direction, but I cannot dictate your understanding."

She sighed, irritably.

"Let's go back to that moment. I feel you have some awareness. You were driving your car..."

"It was the first time in ages. It had been taken away from me, by the woman Ah was staying with..."

"The woman who fostered you?"

"She'd adopted me. She wanted to portray to the world that she was a caring woman, when really it was all a lie. She never cared. Ah was useful to her. Like a tool."

"And how did that make you feel?"

"Angry. Hurt. Lost."

"It's good that you can identify those emotions."

She shrugged.

"I understand you've been in therapy previously."

"Not every therapist is in it for the right reasons."

He parried. "Not every therapist is in it for the wrong reasons."

"Ah still feel the anger. How could Ah let someone like her do that to me?"

"Are you angry at her or yourself?"

"Both."

"You're not with her any more?"

"No."

"Are you happy where you are?"

She shrugged. "Ah think so. Ah know Ah should be."

"Why is that?"

"Because Ah have a roof over my head. Ah don't have to think about meals. It's all provided. They even help with mah school work."

"It sounds ideal."

"It is."

"But?"

"Well, it's a trade-off isn't it? An agreement."

"How so?"

"There's expectations. Ah can understand keeping up with school and doing what you need to stay healthy. But there's the things that go unsaid."

"Would you care to explain?"

"My dad, he's pretty important. People look up to him. It goes without saying that people will expect the same from me. But they're going to be disappointed."

"Why is that?"

"Ah'm not the smartest. Ah do okay but Ah'll never be top shelf material. Ah don't even have the same interests."

"How do you know?"

Here, Rogue paused.

"Have you spent much time with him on a one-to-one basis?"

"He's always busy."

"I'm sure he would make time for you. If he's the man you say he is?"

His logic was unfalteringly accurate and Rogue felt a brief flash of hate.

"You will never know your father if you don't give him the time required. It is, a trade-off. One of the most important of all. In life, there is balance between what may happen and what actually happens. We humans have a habit of predicting how a conversation will go, but until the conversation happens, it remains a prediction. Communication is an important devise, but it can take practise. Choose a topic that you and your father share an interest for. It can be a shared hobby, favourite food, anything. The topic itself isn't important. It is merely a way to introduce regular communication and with time, you can build on it."

Time had finally expired and Rogue left the office with a vague sense of hope.