The paw of the wolf

That first Wednesday in November, Lily woke up to the feeling of a holiday, like her birthday or Christmas when she was a child. But no, it was much better, because in barely ten hours she was going to give her first love kiss to her first love.

She thought again of getting ready in a special way, they would meet right after class, for the rest of the day she would only have the break after lunch to do it. But since she was going to see him in Potions class just today, it would be fine if he noticed it already in the morning. But then, there was no way she could wear anything other than her uniform and robe on a school day, not even take off her Gryffindor tie.

By Merlin! How had she forgotten? The lack of habit of wearing ornaments. She didn't even remember to put it on the day of the beech tree and the Forest... But it was better this way, because he hadn't seen it yet and would love it.

She reached into the bottom of her trunk and pulled it out, still in its wrapper. It was a little whim she saw in the window of Pretty & Showy, Diagon's gift shop, that summer morning shortly after she fell in love with Sev, as she anxiously searched for him in the magical alley.

She went to the bathroom, and while she was trying different ways to tie her hair up, gossipy Bethany came in too and said in exasperation, "How do you think to wear that?"

"It matches my eyes," she replied indifferently and without even looking at her, while she was satisfied at last, simply removing the strands from her temples, which completely cleared the perfect oval of her face and a greater part of her neck. She smiled to herself, feeling pretty. She looked behind her with a hand mirror. Perfect.

"Yes, yes…" said the other, who had been watching her, with a tinkle, but she didn't pay any attention to her.

'A day is a day,' she thought.

Meanwhile, Sev, who had gotten up early to get back to the dungeons before his companions woke up, was taking a shower and wand-drying his hair, which he hated, so he didn't wash it as often as he should, but that morning he didn't mind spending nearly twenty minutes making passes over his head. Still, looking at himself in the mirror, he ruffled his hair a bit with his fingers. 'It's not about looking like a manikin either.'

Lily was already at the Library door when it opened, to check that Sev had seen her response. Finding nothing on page 394, she realized that he had and she went to breakfast.

Sev arrived later than Lily at the Hall, and as soon as he sat down, he turned to look at her. 'She's got her hair up...By Merlin, how beautiful she looks.' She was already giving him the 'fist plus finger' gesture at her chest with a knowing look, and he returned both gestures. It cost him a world not to keep looking at her during the twenty minutes of breakfast, and she, too, at him.

Sev left the Hall first and also came first to Potions class with the other snakes in his year. Lily always arrived almost on time with Slughorn. 'She explained to me that she does it to prevent Potter from repeating the little scene from the first day.'

When she walked in she just gave him a quick glance so the snakes wouldn't notice it, though she was smiling mischievously… And when she turned her back on him… 'Whoah! She's wearing a beautiful hair pin! It is shaped like a stylized leaf the exact color of her eyes, with the ribs and edge outlined in silver…'

Sev swallowed hard, for the first thing he felt was alarm. 'I don't think my worthless classmates will notice, but the wolf… who's right behind her… and Potter and the others, all in the second bench… I don't care, wow, I love it. Three days ago she seemed like a shy little girl asking permission to hug me, and now she has regained her courageous lioness temperament, defying them all by wearing the Slytherin colors in vivid contrast on her red Gryffindor mane... And all because I'm going to get within range!'

Meanwhile, Lily didn't lose her mischievous smile, imagining what Sev must be thinking, hitting the mark.

'Since when does she have it and has been reserving it? I don't recall that there is a store in Hogsmeade that sells such things. She must have bought it in the summer, that's why she was already so shy on the train, and I thought she was upset with me. So she has been waiting for me for three months and not one and a little as I thought. And even though that's nothing compared to the six years I've been, I feel bad. I abandoned her in the summer, at the beginning of the year and when I saw her with the wolf. I have to make it up to her, to make the whole day today, not just the afternoon, memorable, like she is doing for me.'

Slughorn was already hurrying them to take turns going to the ingredient cupboard. The Gryffindors were already returning and Lily was still smiling in the same way, although this time she did dare to give him a brief but inviting look, which Sev returned.

'I'll write her a note. Rays! Why haven't I done it before to leave it on the table or in the backpack when I pass by? Because I am enthralled. Now there is no time.' Parkinson was already pushing him out into the aisle to him let her pass. 'I'll do it later in the usual way, I'm not going to put the first thing that comes to mind either.'

They looked at each other the same way again when he returned to his place, and he spent the time thinking about what to write to her instead of concentrating on the potion he was brewing. 'Okay, I have it, but no instructions to give her. Does matters? Today is another the essential matter, I will pass it on to her later.'

He wrote on a bit of parchment:

L. P… for Precious… I'll let you hurt me.

He made sure no one saw him when he was about to dunk it into the green backpack. It was the nerves, it was the emotion, it was the lack of concentration, but rather it was that Parkinson tugged at the sleeve of his robes just as he fired, 'What does this jerk want now?' saying, "Hey Snape, my potion is white when it should be blue…"

He turned to the dark-haired girl, who still hadn't released him. 'Hasshe seen me? She hasn't, she is looking at the book and the cauldron.'

"I don't know, Parkinson, you'll know what you've done," he replied rudely, letting go of her hand.

He turned to look. 'Where has the ball landed…? Rays! I missed the shot by an inch, it landed next to the pack but on the wolf's side, where Lily won't see it and he might. I have no way of knowing if he has noticed it, though it seems he hasn't, and if I get that close to retrieve it or Summon it I give myself away. What am I doing sending notes to the Gryffindor bench?'

He continued to watch Lupin out of the corner of his eye for a while. 'It seems that he is concentrating on the potion. If he hasn't already noticed, I don't think he'll pay attention to a piece of paper lying on the floor. Well, I'm going to relax, I'll get it back at the end of class.'

Meanwhile… Remus had felt the faintest touch on his leg and looked down to see what it was. He saw the little ball of parchment next to the bag and knew right away what it was, a note from Snape to Lily.

She hadn't told him how they managed to buddy up in Potions now. In fact, two weeks ago, since he'd seen them disappear into the fifth floor corridor on the Map, she hadn't spoken to him about Snape again.

But he knew that they kept meeting because of Lily's disappearances under silly pretexts, and he had just discovered, without intending to, how they communicated. Sure, that's why she now left her backpack at the height of the second bench and turned to look at it so many times.

And that day Lily was wearing the green and silver ornament in her hair, he had it before his eyes, and also without intending it, he had caught her looking at him the way lovers look at each other.

He spent a long time wondering if he should do something, maybe the little note was important, they only had public contact on Wednesdays in Potions. Lily hadn't realized anything, maybe Snape wouldn't dare throw another one having missed and if she left before him, they wouldn't be able to meet.

He didn't know if Snape had noticed where the ball had landed, because he had avoided looking at him so he wouldn't realize that he had seen it. He gave him a sidelong glance, he was attending to his potion and not seeming worried.

He shouldn't have done it, he should have gotten into his own business, but he had seen his friend so excited and they both aroused so much tenderness in him, having to hide from the world to get their love forward…

Then, in one quick motion, he pushed the slip of paper with the toe of his shoe to the front of Lily's backpack, where she could see it when she turned around.

Sev was still checking on the note every half minute, and if in the intervals he'd caught a movement of the wolf crouching down out of the corner of his eye, he would have immediately gone ahead to pick it up and claim it. 'It's a lesser evil to admit that it's mine than for the Gryffindor to read the message, that message, in addition.' And after one of the pauses in which he tried to concentrate on his work… 'It is no longer where it fell, but in front of the backpack.

'It can't have been other than the wolf! He is in the loop! Well, maybe he hasn't seen who sent the ball. But what am I saying? Who would it be but me, if the other knew the addressee? At least he hasn't looked at it, but that means Lily has told him, even though I've insisted not to tell anyone what we do together, least of all one of my enemies! Who knows what else she has entrusted to him.

'Rays, the Haven! Even though she's known it for two weeks and nothing has happened, they may just be waiting for the right opportunity.

'Lily! How could you betray me like that? I'm restless, disappointed… furious! I feel humiliated, a real idiot for having trusted you. You have spoiled everything. The six o'clock date! What a change of perspective in the last half hour. But I'm glad I found out in time. Now you will know what is good.'

Lily turned at that moment to look at her backpack and saw the little ball on the ground. Sev had missed, but just barely, maybe no one had noticed, maybe just Remus, and in that case, it was okay. But just in case she didn't look at Sev when she picked it up. She unfolded it under her desk as usual, read the enticing message, and fought not to turn to see him.

…I will let you hurt me.

He said. If she had looked at him, she would have known on the spot that she had already done it, quite literally, a lot.

'Now she's reading the damn note all excited. She doesn't know what awaits her.' Sev spent much of the class glaring back and forth between Lily and the wolf, completely forgetting about his potion.

'The damn wolf realizes that I am watching him and that he has screwed up, because he doesn't move a muscle, he is totally tense, pretending to be focused on his work.

'And Lily... she hasn't noticed a thing, when she turns to see if there's another note in the backpack she doesn't look at me once, and all the rest of the time she keeps her back to me with the beautiful brooch in her hair, which now seems to me like a sovereign recklessness. She'll never learn, I'll have to teach her the hard way or better yet, ignore her completely, now that she knows what she's going to miss.'

Several times he was about to leave the classroom for not seeing her anymore. 'But it makes me even more angry that it is affecting my work. The best in Potions…fucked by a brat.' He tried to refocus what little time was left, failing to fix it.

At the end of class Lily had prepared an outstanding potion, despite not having received instructions from Sev, being congratulated by Slughorn. Remus' was regular, a little worse than usual for him, an Acceptable fair, and Sev's had turned into a paste of indefinite color, a Troll by all accounts, his worst result by far in five years, so he cleaned his cauldron with his wand without handing it over, quickly gathered up his belongings and left the classroom before the end of class, unceremoniously pushing the students who were heading for the teacher's desk with the vials, without turning back for not seeing her at the face.