AN: I know. I said this week was going to be a by-week because I was traveling. SURPRISE! Turns out I had my days wrong. My husband corrected me over the weekend. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow before the sun rises. This is late, because I've been super busy with preparations and a work deadline, which hits while I'm away, which is why I'm posting a bit later than usual (I usually aim for Thursday morning or afternoon). But I'm waiting on my laundry to finish, so might as well post, right? Also, this chapter is pretty short, and also I like where this chapter ends, given next week is definitely a by-week. So, next chapter is will be posted July 7th, which I'm just realizing is my husband's birthday. Err. Might have to play that one by ear.

Anyway, good news, I've moved onto the final scene of chapter 6. Moderate news, I had to split chapter 5 (because it was long) and then add 2 fluff chapters to my original plot because I realized while writing the first scene of current Chapter 6, the jump to 2 weeks later like I'd originally planned missed a lot of stuff. Like subtleties both Gaara and Emika notice about each other. It's been 6 years, and they kind of feel like strangers. So, I needed 2 chapters where they get better reacquainted as the adults they've become, flesh out their characters, and I could properly get back to the plot where I'd intended. It works out fine. Doesn't throw off my plot's timeline at all, and it will be just a fun little detour that gives future plot-points I'd already planned better dimension. So now this is chapter 3 of 18 (rather than the original 15 planned). I'm sure you're not mad about this.


Chapter 3

Gaara was well versed in the feelings of regret. For much of his life, he lived in the moment as a means to survive. To cope. He'd killed and scared without much of a second thought. To keep people at a distance. To keep himself safe. Then he fought Naruto. Another boy with his own demon like him, yet had believed connections and love made a person strong. And in that moment, he knew it would change his life. It had changed his life.

There was an old proverb in the Wind. Life is like journeying on an ever-crumbling road. He believed that was the phrase. You constantly move forward along its path, making small choices that drastically shaped your future and being before you even could predict how it would. Occasionally you'd be offered new paths, most not so obvious, but sometimes highlighted with big signs that you knew if you took it, your fate, your destiny would be forever changed. And the choice you make would determine where you go. Once choosing what path you want to walk, the other would crumble behind you like the rest of the roads you didn't take.

It was those roads that would haunt you. The ones not taken. Some would leave you grateful you hadn't gone down them. And others you couldn't help but think maybe your life would have turned out better if you'd taken the risk on the new path. That was the essence of regret.

Gaara had come across two of these "well-marked, life-altering" forks in the road. The first was when he fought Naruto, and realized everything he knew and wanted in life was wrong. He took the brighter path then, and shuddered to think how things would have turned if he'd continued to stay on his original course. The second was in the red tent with Emika, letting her believe they would be married as he let himself fully feel how completely he'd fallen in love with her. Except that was less of a fork and more of a crossroads. He'd had three choices. Three possible destinies. He could have chosen to admit the truth to Emika, and continued to shove down his feelings, and not let himself feel the bliss of her embrace. He could have chosen to forsake his original goal, become the Daimyo by following love and marrying a girl who knew him and loved him as a person, but did not know what had made him.

But he chose the third option, which had been to stay the course. Complete the mission to the best of his ability. Feel what real romantic love felt like to stay under cover, then continue through life solitarily. To become the Kazekage and remain a ninja.

While that future was bright, and he'd done great things, he was left with a lingering regret that maybe he should have chosen differently. That the fate he'd chosen hadn't been the better option of the ones presented.


A warm breeze drifted through Suna's streets as Gaara made his steady walk back from the training grounds to the Kazekage Tower. The Chunin exams had wrapped up two and a half weeks ago, and Gaara had said goodbye to his taijutsu teacher Shira.

Shira's parents lived just Northeast on a farm near a border fort guarding the border between the Land of Wind and the Land of Keys. It sat maybe two hours outside the closest city, Tsumi Shi. When the Council had passed him a notice of an open position there, he knew if Shira made Chunin, Gaara had to station him there. Shira had mentioned in several training sessions that his parents moved back to the farm after his uncle had fallen ill. Shira had only stayed in Suna because he'd gotten a simple civilian job, and he still wanted to pursue his dreams of becoming a ninja. Dreams that had since been realized.

Gaara could tell Shira didn't like living alone in Suna, and was eager to move back with his parents. But now being a ninja, he couldn't just go. So Gaara had assigned him the post, and Shira immediately packed his bags. It was odd that shortly after notifying Shira of the position, his teammate Yome begged him to add her to the post. Gaara didn't see why not, so he assigned her as well.

Now that meant he had to train his taijutsu alone, which was difficult, but he'd managed. He'd begun to like the time alone in the training grounds to settle his thoughts and work on himself.

He drank his water as he made his way back, only pausing when something glittering in a store window caught his eye. It was a set of mugs with Emika and her fiancé, Prince Hamaru, framed by a heart. Underneath in curly letters read "Royal Engagement." Another framed by flowers said, "Happily Ever After." A teapot with the same designs. And a gravy boat.

How garish, was Gaara's first thought, noting his tongue suddenly felt heavy in his mouth. He wanted to laugh how noble they made Prince Hamaru look. The artist was clearly very kind with this portrait, hiding all of his goofy traits that made him awkward in reality.

Every image of Emika, she looked somewhat dead inside. Her eyes that sparkled for him in the sun dappled trees as they made love in that glen were now dark colorless voids. It hurt his heart the more he saw pictures of her. Not just because he'd fallen so deeply for her, but because he'd destroyed her. Eyes that used to shine with vivacious love were now clouded with despairing tedium and disappointment. Because of him. Cruelly, he'd let her taste happiness, then ripped the rug from under her.

The fresh reminder of his heartbreak hit him squarely in the chest. He closed his eyes and turned away. There was nothing to be done about it. He knew she would marry. He knew it was her duty. Both to her family and to her country.

He made his way to the tower and silently made his way to his bedroom, done for the day. He didn't say anything as he passed his siblings, even though they'd addressed him. Temari was getting ready for a trip to Konoha, and was likely trying to say goodbye. But the emotional strike he'd just had to his heart didn't leave him in a talkative mood.

As he turned down the hallway, he heard Temari ask Kankuro, "What's up with him?"

"I dunno'," Kankuro grumbled. "Looked like he was reminded of Emika though."

"Oh," Temari sighed. "Yeah, some of the gift shops have started selling royal wedding paraphernalia."

"That would do it," Kankuro muttered.

"I've never seen him mope like this, though," Temari said in hushed voice. "Shouldn't he be over it by now?" she asked. "It's been three, no four months." Gaara could tell by the silence Kankuro was looking at her incredulously. "He wasn't that in love with her. Was he?"

"Yeah, I think he was," Kankuro scoffed easily.

"No way. He only knew her for a couple days."

"Well, I don't think cupid's arrow really cares how long you know a person," Kankuro pointed out. Temari was silent. Gaara could imagine her scrunching up her face in confusion. Kankuro scoffed, before saying in a low voice "Look, I talked with him at the hotel in Cobra Town after the arrest. Remember Kura and Doshi going out and partying?"

"Yeah."

"Gaara didn't go. Instead, I saw him staring out the window at her hotel across the street, crying. For an hour," Kankuro explained in the same low voice.

"An hour?"

"Yeah. An hour," Kankuro stated. "Safe to say he was about as in love with her as it gets."


"Six years ago, you offered to marry me. I've come to make good on that promise."

Gaara blinked a few times as her words finally hit him after hanging in the air for a few minutes. He looked to Chie, and saw him licking his lips as if he'd semi-expected that to be her request, but was still unsure about it. Gaara looked back at her curiously, only to see her staring back at him purposefully. He laughed instinctually at the absurdity of the notion. His smile wide as he tried to understand the lunacy of it, but it didn't make any sense. It was as if someone were playing a cruel joke.

He cleared his throat, seeing she wasn't laughing, and grumbled, "Excuse me, but didn't you just get engaged to an actor?"

She pursed her lips, nodding. She sucked in a deep breath, then said, "He's been killed." She bit her lower lip solemnly, then added, "He called when they attacked his home yesterday. Told me to continue with Plan B. Which was you."

He frowned. "Killed?" he clarified.

She nodded. "Like the previous two." His brow furrowed at that as she added, "And like the previous two, news won't break of it for a couple days. That means the window to enact Plan B is closing."

Gaara straightened. He'd heard the rumors that the first fiancé, his parents, and little sister had been victims of the Akatsuki seen in the area at the time. Whether they actually did it was still speculation. It also happened the same day Deidara had fought him and kidnapped him, so of course the news such a prominent noble family had been slaughtered, minus the eldest son who was traveling, didn't break immediately. The second one, though, only went missing eighteen months ago. He'd gone to Tsumi Shi for his Stag Party, only to wander off and disappear. A body never turned up, and no one claimed to be holding for ransom. Sadly, in Tsumi Shi that kind of story wasn't entirely uncommon. It was a desert city and a party town, which sometimes didn't mix. Especially when the yakuza still had a prominent presence in the town.

"You're sure fiancé two—"

"Touma," she corrected.

"Touma," he grumbled at the correction, "was killed? Not just missing?"

"You've been keeping tabs," she said with a smirk.

Gaara did his best to hide his blush. "Whoever you marry is the next Daimyo, who I'll be working closely with for the rest of my career," he reasoned logically.

She nodded solemnly. "Yes. Touma is dead. Like Hamaru, and now Ryuki. And I know my uncle's behind it," she stated.

He scoffed. "That's a bold accusation."

She pouted knowingly, crossing her arms as she said, "I've been engaged three times, yet never married because my fiancé mysteriously turns up dead or missing. In this instance, one is a coincidence. Two is a pattern."

He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Not to play devil's advocate, but wouldn't that implicate you?"

"I'm not the one getting dethroned if I marry," Emika pointed out. She shrugged as if it were obvious. "I marry, then Uncle Ginmaru doesn't have the power he's been enjoying the past six years."

Gaara frowned, leaning back. Something he hadn't previously thought of about the situation resurfaced in his memory. "Weren't you supposed to have signing rights on everything?" Meaning she would be the one he should have been talking to about his proposals. But Ginmaru acted as if he held sole power over that.

She set her jaw, then admitted, "After I realized everything that happened between us was a lie, I signed away my rights because I believed I was too naïve to run the country responsibly." Gaara's gaze fell at her sharp tone. He'd had a hand in his own struggles now then. She tilted her head, as she added, "However, I was supposed to get those rights back if I reached eighteen, and still wasn't married."

"But you're almost twenty-one now," he pointed out. So her rights should be back.

"Ginmaru was able to convince a majority of the Daimyos that, even though I was 18, I was still too green and a woman. And that I needed to wait until I found husband," she explained. "He used the fact I signed away my rights as reasoning that I shouldn't get my rights back, even though I was under the pressure of my father's entire cabinet of advisors to sign in his regency, not to mention the self-doubt I then had because of us."

Gaara propped his hands in front his mouth, his finger curling under his nose. "Right," he grumbled.

She sighed, clearly not wanting to dwell on it. "So, since he now has complete power, the only thing that would stop him is if I married. Which I can't do if he keeps killing my fiances."

"Why not just kill you?" Kankuro asked.

"Because my death would be too obvious," Emika scoffed, turning partially to Kankuro. "Not to mention would be all over the news, not just in the Land of Wind. People would immediately blame him. And if I'm gone, there is no one to take over when he kicks it. Could you imagine the turmoil the country would be thrown in if the only living heir died, and everyone knew he did it?" She shook her head, turning back to Gaara. "He's not an idiot. He doesn't want to put the country in perpetual turmoil. He doesn't want to rule a country on the brink. He just wants to have the money and power being Daimyo gives him."

She licked her lips, seeing Gaara was still unsure. "Look, I was up front with Ryuki that engaging with me would paint a target on his back. He was a Suna ninja before becoming an actor. And a dear friend. So he still agreed to help me as far as he could."

Gaara frowned, not knowing that. An ex-Suna ninja had willingly stepped in harms way for the sake of the princess? The sake of his country. Another word in her statement did stick out to him. "A Friend?"

"Yes. A very dear friend," she stated. Gaara looked away a little troubled by that. She scoffed. "Neither of us were in love with each other. I wasn't exactly his type per say, and he was one of the few men I trusted in this world." She moved her jaw wordlessly before adding, "It was Ryuki's suggestion I come here and ask you to take his place. He made sure all the marriage paperwork was setup, including a prenup I'm expecting you to sign as well."

Gaara smiled oddly. "Prenup?"

"For both of our protections until our goals are met," she stated.

Gaara raised an eyebrow at that. "Our goals?" he repeated.

She nodded. "I plan to amend the law saying princesses can't inherit the Daimyo title outright. After which, our marriage will be annulled, so you will return to your post as Kazekage, leaving me as the Daimyo."

Gaara only stared at her. He could see she was absolutely serious, which is what scared him a little. She was a far cry from the romantic girl who prattled on about their wedding ceremony in Ao Nami.

Behind them, Kankuro chuckled. "You must be joking."

"I'm not," Emika said, her gaze not wavering from Gaara's so he could see she meant it. "As Daimyo, I can annul my own marriage if I want. Especially if it won't result in a child, which it definitely won't." Gaara couldn't help but flinch a little at her brusque tone in such a declaration. She leaned forward on his desk, semi-adopting Gaara's hand stance as she nudged her chin at him and asked, "Now I know business makes the world go round. So what three items on your list need the most immediate funding? I'll pay them in full once I am in power. Which, if everything goes according to plan, it should max take only six months."

"What you're suggesting could start a civil war," Kankuro scoffed. "The Daimyos don't back you without a husband. If you pick the Kazekage to be that husband, they'll be in uproar."

"I understand that," Emika said somberly. She looked at Gaara hauntedly as she said, "But I don't have a lot of marriageable men I can trust. Especially ones who can handle themselves against assassins."

Gaara realized with her pointed look at him on her last comment, she was citing their argument in the election room. Ryuki and Emika picked him for this for a specific reason. Even if he married her and became Daimyo legally, her Uncle would fight it and definitely try to have him killed. And even through all they'd been though, she knew she could trust him on some level. Ryuki knew this too, apparently, and told her to seek Gaara out in his final moments.

He crossed his arms, thinking about that. She was desperate to get her country back. That was the only reason she was coming to him. The thought hurt a little. "And who would pay for such a war?" he asked around a knot settling under his tongue.

"Obviously, me," Emika said. "The crown."

"If we die in the process?" Gaara asked. "Suna is already struggling financially from the last war." When she didn't say anything, Gaara pursed his lips. "If it comes to war, you know it will be either your Uncle's head or ours."

"I understand all of that," she said seriously. "I also understand it will divide many of the clans that make-up Suna, as well as the House of Daimyos. But with your bonds with the Leaf and other Kage, surely we can force a win with allies at our side." Gaara chuckled incredulously at that. She leaned forward and pushed, "Politically, I already have backing from forty percent of the Daimyos loyal to my father and my claim. Roughly twenty to thirty sit on the fence, and would flip to my side if I married." She licked her lips frustratedly. "I also understand this puts both of us at risk, which is why it has to be you."

Gaara let the silence hang between them. Her stare was penetrating and steadfast.

She exhaled sharply through her nose, then said, "When I signed off on your election, you said you wanted to become the Kazekage to change the systems built upon furthering corruption." She pressed her lips in a thoughtful line, then asked, "Do you think you'll be better able to achieve that goal with my uncle or with me?"

Gaara took a bracing breath. "You've given me a lot to think about," he finally said. "I can't possibly agree to a marriage and a possible war in the span of a few minutes."

Emika nodded sagely. "I understand," she said softly as she stood. "But I can only give you a day." He frowned as she reached for her cloak off the back of her chair and added, "Otherwise the window Ryuki's sacrifice granted for us will close. Ginmaru will catch on before I could try again." She finished fixing her cloak in place, grabbing her hood and scarf as she said, "I'll be back tomorrow morning for your answer."

Once she was fully concealed, she turned to leave. Kankuro stepped aside, opening the door for her. Chie bowed to them both at his neck before falling in step behind Emika. Kankuro turned to Gaara and exhaled, his expression clearly trying to assess Gaara's reaction. Gaara didn't know what to think though. It was definitely a lot.


As Emika and Chie stepped outside the lobby into the basin's main circle, Emika could tell her old bodyguard disapproved something of their meeting just now. "What is it, Chie?" she finally asked as they made their way down the sandy streets back to his home.

Chie tongued his cheek, then rounded on Emika. "Why didn't you tell Gaara about the other thing?" he asked directly.

Emika didn't make any moves to signal that she'd heard him, except a slight tip of her head. Then she let out a mournful sigh. "I don't want to manipulate him." Her voice was sad as she said it.

"Manipulate?" Chie scoffed, making an odd face. "It's the truth. Ergo not manipulation."

"But it doesn't change either of our situations," Emika grumbled back.

Chie winced his disbelief. "Doesn't it, thought?"

"No, it doesn't," she said with finality, stopping and turning to Chie. "The Wind won't be stable if things don't end the way I've designed this plan. I need to be in power. And if I told him the truth, he might fight that. And I need him to stay where he is. His election was my first act as Daimyo. I can't repeal that. Doing so means I won't be the face of stability and hope that my people need."

She turned back forward and began walking more brusquely. Chie fell in step with her, pursing his lips disapprovingly.

"If I were him, I'd want to know," Chie said after a long silence.

"But you're not him," Emika huffed. "Gaara is Gaara. And I think I have a better understanding of what he's been through, and what he can take. What he needs to hear."

"That sounds like manipulation," Chie muttered under his breath. "Not to mention a bit cruel."

"Telling him would be cruel," Emika said. "Especially since it doesn't change how things need to be. It would be offering a lie, and I won't do that to him. We've both had enough of that in our lives. And I don't want to be cruel to him."

She stomped off ahead, with Chie looking at her back as she stormed away. She knew why he didn't agree. Had Emika and Gaara not been who they were, she would also agree. But they were. So she would stay the course, and keep that part a secret.


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