Bane thought he had seen almost everything...but he finally admitted when he was wrong.
Two of his men staring at each other drinking tea like they were at a formal party was not what he expected upon appearing to a call that one of his operations were under attack, and it was anything but formal since they were sitting on blank wooden chairs and their "table" was a crate with a torn cheap curtain as a tablecloth. He didn't know why they were acting so strange and not responding when he noticed some sort of device placed on the side of their heads. It must have been some sort of mind-altering device, something the so-called Wayne Enterprises may have developed which was not out of the realm of possibilities given they have crafted some pretty high tech in there.
Whoever thought messing with him was a good idea was about to get the shit kicked out of them. The question though was who managed to beat his men and control them like mindless puppets? The Batman, as far as he knew, didn't deal with mind control. That was more of a Dracula lore power which the Batman was not.
"You look confused, bamboozled even," one of his men suddenly spoke, his voice monotone and still staring at his partner sipping tea. "Don't lose your head now, Mr. Bane. The Jabberwock is certainly wanting to take it for itself."
He had not a clue what that meant, but it didn't sound like those were the mercenary's real words, more like someone speaking through him. Color him curious but this was one impressive trick.
Then the other man spoke with the same odd mannerisms. "Tall, brooding, imposing and cruel, you must be the Queen of Heart's Executioner. Tell me, do the heads really roll in the river, tossed in by your own hands?"
"I'm not Electrocu-?! Enough of this nonsense!" Bane snarled.
"But no nonsense makes no sense," both said in unison much to Bane's unsettlement. Their heads turned towards him, both giving an unblinking stare. "You think you're sane? You think you haven't gone mad? Everyone in Gotham is mad, otherwise why would you be here? Why wouldn't you be here if you haven't lost your senses?"
The large man studied both haunting faces and grimaced before saying, "Who are you?"
"Tsk, tsk, table manners," the mercenary on the right said, wagging a finger.
The left soldier then started after him, "You are invited to a tea party, Mr. Bane. If you don't bring your best behavior, their brains splatter everywhere. Boom. But I can tell, you and I will get along nicely. Meet at the corner across the museum in the Bowery at midnight, the hat shop, and no unwanted guests."
The mercenary soldiers went quiet and Bane was left puzzled as they still did nothing but drink tea even when the cups were empty like they were robots on loop.
In the following hour, he made his way through the Bowery alone looking for what this jokester called a hat shop. Why a hat shop out of all possible places he didn't know, but when he saw the museum ahead, he peered around and found the hat shop just to his left. In the windows, there were bonnets, tops, bowlers, and so on. It looked like a store from the 1930's. Hesitantly, he went in with the small bell above the door ringing to alert the shopkeeper of his presence.
"Hello? I'm here, ready to talk. I brought no one with me."
"Yes, yes, I hear you! Give me a moment," a voice called in the back.
Bane felt so out of place in there. It was definitely a blast of the past feeling to the whole store, a large generation gap but why would a hat maker be targeting him? As far as he was concerned, he didn't do anything to hurt their business. It was probably an older man by the sound of the voice and the appearance of the shop's interior, something old people would find classy.
He noticed on the counter there were two books. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There. He wasn't familiar much with the tales of Alice but he knew about the character from the forbidden library in Peña Dura. From what he could recall, it was a story about a girl who fell down a rabbit hole and met goofy characters. Peering at the book cover of the first one, he saw Alice sitting with a hare and a large-headed man at a table with teapots and cups. If that wasn't an indication he found the right person...
"The Executioner Bane is here! I apologize for my lateness, a few things need to be ready for Christmas Eve for my dear Alice," the voice said again.
Bane expected an old man to appear, maybe with a gun or an axe. Instead, a younger man no taller than four-foot eight came out dressed in a similar getup as the character on the cover of the book. He heard of costumed freaks that represented characters, animals, and types of people but this was the most ludicrous, out-of-sorts thing he ever saw.
"And...you are...?"
The man took off his hat to reveal dirty blonde hair and bowed, "Forgive my manners but my name is Jervis Tetch or as you can call me, the Mad Hatter! A pleasure to meet your acquaintance, Mr. Bane. My god, you are huge."
Bane gave a slight unsure look at Jervis before peering around again, "Are...you the one responsible for hypnotizing my men?"
"I apologize for that but I had to meet you and I knew better than to see you face to face in your hideout where you'd be well-armed and me at a very unfortunate disadvantage. Here, we are on equal ground and I can talk to you as a person, not a subordinate."
"And what exactly is stopping me from hurting you because of that stunt you pulled?" Threatened Bane.
The Mad Hatter snickered, "I know you are a smart man, Mr. Bane. You know what I said to you after you found your men, what would happen if things didn't go the way I want them. But I know they don't mean much so unless you want half your army turning against you, I suggest being a good old sport and sitting down with me for some tea. Come, come, there are things I wish to discuss."
Bane knew a bluff and surprisingly, Jervis was not bluffing. He could see it in the man's eyes. He followed reluctantly towards the back where a tea table had been set. Then he noticed the street thugs all poised and wearing rabbit masks.
"Don't be afraid now. These bad men won't hurt you. They are under my control so unless I will it, they will do nothing."
There wasn't much reassurance there but Bane complied as Jervis took a seat, gesturing for him to do the same. He sat on the fancy cushioned chair and one of the hypnotized henchmen brought a teacup and plate to his end of the table before pouring tea in. There was also a plate of small cakes reading Eat Me in fancy cursive that looked rather delicious but he refrained. He instinctively wanted to say "thank you" but he knew it would fall on deaf ears.
"Anything you want in it? Sugar?"
Bane declined with a wave of his hand, still a little on edge with the henchmen drones staring blankly at him.
Another henchman served Hatter before returning to a still pose beside his master. Jervis didn't miss a beat and took a sip. "So, Mr. Bane, I heard there is a pact for the death of the Batman this Christmas through small talk between the goons I have and the ones I had. Is this true?"
Bane grabbed the teacup and stared down at the contents suspiciously. "Yes, I plan to kill him. A bounty has been set for his head by...Black Mask. I intend on winning, not just for the money but my own cause. I will break his spirit before the night is through and then he will die."
"Mm, I see. Don't be afraid to take a drink. There is nothing to gain from poisoning you. It would be a complete waste of time. The reason I called you here is because I was feeling a bit down upon hearing about this bounty. I wanted to break the Batman as well, his mind at least. As a master of hypnosis and mind control, I wanted to test my technology against him, see if I could tame the arrogant and strong-willed Batman. I also planned on bringing a woman in to motivate him to step into my trap. A long-lost lamb named Alice."
Usually when Bane stood in someone's way, they would retaliate but it seemed as though Jervis was seeking permission to get a chance at the Bat, not kill him like most would do. He wasn't going to steal Bane's kill.
He raised a brow, "You base your schemes off of those books I saw? Why the Mad Hatter?"
Jervis smiled and clapped his hands together enthusiastically, "I simply find his madness charming. Life is short. I believe in becoming what you want to be by all means. I believe I am the Mad Hatter himself because he is me and I am he. Madness isn't a crime, dear Bane, but an opportunity to do the impossible! Can you blame me for wanting that?"
For the moment, Bane found the reasoning of the madman quite truthful. Who was he to judge this man for being who he wanted to be? Bane's own past of murder, revenge, and drug use certainly made him want to be something beyond what a normal life could give despite the repercussions, and it did its job.
"I sense another question on your mind, Mr. Bane, one about where I stand among you and Batman. I have no intentions in being a thorn in your side. I only wish to see if I can do something to control him. I hope that's not a bother," the Mad Hatter said in a serious tone.
The masked man on the other side of the table shook his head, "The more I think on it, the more I'm willing to be lenient this once. But if the Batman dies in your care or he is no longer a worthy challenge, you will answer to me."
Jervis shrunk slightly in his chair which made him even smaller than his normal size and gulped, "Of course, I-I wouldn't go that far."
"And my men?"
"After our talk, I will cancel the transmission permanently so you need not worry about troops going bump in the night. It was only a precaution. You understand, don't you?"
"All too much," Bane smirked.
He finally took a sip of his tea and was taken back when he tasted a mixture of pineapple, papaya and mango. It was actually quite good and after he waited a second to see if anything placed in his tea kicked in, he took another drink confirming its safety.
"Vaya, eso es algo fuerte. Mango? I didn't expect that," he muttered in shock.
"It's a nice blend I got from a friend. I was surprised when I drank it first too, don't worry. I figured I would see if you liked it so I can confirm it's not a weird, horrific combination that says things about me or anything."
Bane half chuckled at that as he finished his cup. One of the henchmen immediately offered him more after Jervis gave note of the empty cup. He allowed the zombified servant to serve him more before drinking it down.
They talked briefly about smaller details like the book which Bane had plenty of questions about. Jervis eagerly answered each question, not leaving anything to the imagination. It was odd being among the smaller man and his views but there was a bit of humor about the whole scenario. Then everything drifted to the Bat and Jervis wanted to know about Bane's side of the story.
"Why do you hate him so?" Jervis asked.
"Years of nightmares, like a recurring prophecy, plagued me and when I heard about the Batman, I saw that as my calling. Sounds insane but-"
"Insane? No, no, you're mad. Bonkers even, but let me tell you a secret," Hatter said. Bane leaned in on the table curiously. "All the best people in the world are. You see this idea as an act of lunacy. I see it as an opportunity. Which of us you think is right is up to you but know that greatness cannot be achieved without a little madness! If you're not mad, why are you still pursuing the Batman, hmm?"
With that, Jervis took another sip of tea, leaving Bane to lean back into his seat and think those words over.
"There's a fine line between genius and madness, you know. I see both in you. If anyone is going to get close to killing the Batman, I believe it will be you. I merely want to study him, see how his mental state handles the assault of my illusions, but I know when I've been beat. I'm no fool in that regard."
The masked man hummed low, "I appreciate your support."
The Mad Hatter eyed him then smiled, "Tell you what, Mr. Bane, if he comes to me first, I'll see to it to push him as far as he can go. If he beats my test, I'll let you know. But if he doesn't, I'll be sure to leave him alive and fighting like a bat with rabies. I won't seek to make him stray from finding you and you killing him if he chooses not to rescue my Alice. Just promise me you'll give him my regards when he is broken. It'll be shame not to see him lose his mind but I think I can live with the disappointment."
"Or..." Bane started, matching Jervis' devious smile, "maybe when I break him, I'll drag his body here and let you toy with his mind, find out all his little secrets and destroy every aspect that made him Batman in the first place before I kill him."
Jervis gave a hearty laugh, "And I'll be waiting with a tea party and some cake to celebrate!"
Now that made Bane laugh too and he held up his cup in a wordless cheer. Jervis did the same. He kind of liked this guy overall. Maybe there was a chance he could use Jervis' skills in the future but for now, he was content to drinking tea and having some cake. The cake was good.
"Can I have some more tea please?"
AN: I feel like Jervis (at the time of this game) would have been a down-to-Earth person to other Rogues. He would make sense by not making sense and everyone would be like "ah yeah cool." I don't think Bane would ever have any ill will towards this guy.