Alrighty then! We're back, everybody! "Beautiful and Dangerous" returns with a new chapter! In our last update, The Good Guys learn everything about the two robbers', including why they became criminals. Now they must consult a dolphin magician to provide them with the ingredients they need to make anti-charm glasses, which will prevent them from getting affected by the duo's attractiveness. Enjoy!
At a house in the city, a man in a butler's outfit is at the door when the Good Guys step up. "Welcome to Blowhole Bubbles' magic house." He greeted them. "Home of the captured siren. How can I help you?"
"We'd like to see the siren." Diane requested.
"Yeah." Wolf agreed. "I've never actually seen one before."
"Go right in." The butler obliged. "But be careful, this siren will try and seduce you into freeing her with her singing voice.
"Puh-LEASE!" Snake exclaimed. "We barely even know the meaning of the word 'love'." They enter the house.
"Now where is this siren?" Tarantula asked.
"Yeah." Piranha agreed. "I hope it doesn't pop out of nowhere like some kind of falcon." Suddenly, beautiful singing is heard. "Wha—What is that?"
"Oh, boy." Diane said.
Wolf, Snake, Piranha and Shark are hypnotized by the singing. "So beautiful!" Wolf exclaimed in a daze.
The siren appears, being a beautiful bird lady with golden shiny hair floating around like it's underwater. She also had beautiful golden orange eyes and is half naked by wearing a two-piece swimsuit and has pale flesh skin and white wings. She begins singing in a beautiful voice. "When I want you, I don't have to raise my voice. When I call you, you know you haven't got a choice. When you hear me, you better come without delay. Hear me singing. Honey, won't you come and play? Come on. Succumb, surrender to me. Throw yourself into my sea. I'm waiting here with my arms open wide. Come to me, darling. Come inside. Don't you want it? You know it's gonna feel so good. You can't stop it. You wouldn't want to if you could, and I know it. I've got you wrapped around my thumb. When I give you my sweetest oblivion, come on. Succumb, surrender to me. Throw yourself into my sea. I'm waiting here with my arms open wide. Come to me, darling. Come inside. Give in, give over to me. Drown yourself, satisfy your need. Nothing to fear, I've got nothing but time. Come to me, darling. Come inside. Little sailor, little fool, you better heed the golden rule. Do unto others just as you would like to have them do to you. You think you can just walk away, but, no, it doesn't work that way. See, once you're mine, you'll always be. I never give anything for free. Succumb, surrender to me. Throw yourself into my sea. I'm waiting here with my arms open wide. Come to me, darling. Come inside. Give in, give over to me. Drown yourself, satisfy your need. Nothing to fear, I've got nothing but time. Come to me, darling. Come inside."
"So…gorgeous!" Wolf exclaimed dazedly.
Tarantula and Diana are the only ones unaffected by the singing due to being female. "GUYS! Whatever you do, DO NOT look at the light!" The tarantula warned.
"I can't help it!" Snake exclaimed dazedly. "It's so beautiful!
"Guys, stop!" Diane screamed and tries pushing the male Good Guys away from the siren, but they are too strong to push.
"That's right. Come to me, my precious!" The siren called. "Set me free!"
"STOP!" Tarantula tries hitting them with a frying pan, but it has no effect. "What? Since when did they have hard heads?"
"Well, we gotta do something!" Diane replied. "That buck-naked siren is gonna do stuff to them!"
"Set me free, and I will give you my endless love for all eternity!" The siren continued in her irresistibly beautiful voice.
"OH, SHUT UP!" Tarantula retorted.
"So…sexy!" Piranha exclaimed.
"Must…set…free…and…love…her!" Shark exclaimed.
"Yes! YES!" The siren exclaimed as she is close to victory.
"No! NO!" Diane screamed.
"Oh, crikey, not again!" A voice yelled.
Suddenly, the siren was tranquilized by a lot of magic dust, and she flopped to the ground in a stupor-like sleep.
A male dolphin appeared in magician getup. "I knew bringing that beast into my home was a bad idea. It should've been better if that creature was just sent straight to the planet Mythos. But no, the commissioners want to profit from it, the darn money-wanting pigs. Name's Blowhole Bubbles. You folks okay?"
The male members of the Good Guys snap out of their trances.
"What the-?" Wolf asked.
"Well, am I embarrassed!" Snake exclaimed.
"Well, if she was completely naked, then we would be falling for all the way."
"Yeah, that's the reason why we fit her with the swimsuit." Blowhole said. "Magicians wanting mythical creatures for apprentices said that siren hypnotism is completely unstoppable when they're naked. But trust me, it's not the only reason. Say, aren't you the Good Guys?"
"That's us." Piranha replied.
"I've been keeping track of Good Guys history on the Internet. What brings you blokes to my house anyway?"
"We just need some essence from this gorgeous creature." Shark answered.
"The reason is need-to-know top secret." Wolf said.
"You know how we get some from this creature?" Snake asked.
"Well, if all you need is essence, then I could loan you some." Blowhole answered before taking out a huge bag full of it. "Voila."
"How did you get so much of THAT?!" Piranha asked.
"Well, it's basically like clean-up duty. She leaves a lot of this stuff from her feathers whenever she begins flying. The essence is getting to everyone's allergies here, too. So, go ahead. Take them."
The Good Guys high-five. "Thanks a lot, sir." Shark thanked him.
"And, personally, I share your concern about the creature being here." Tarantula said. "The sooner it does head towards, Mythos, the better."
"So, why are you here?" Blowhole asked.
"Just for some siren essence so we can create these glasses so we can stop these incredibly hot bandits." Wolf answered.
"Okay, that's just gross. But if it means saving the city like you do now, then knock yourselves out." The dolphin magician leaves the scene.
"Guys, we got the essence." Snake announced as he and Piranha show the bag.
"Nice work, guys." Wolf complimented before checking a to-do list. "Okay, siren essence, check. Now we need to have a chat with nymphs." Later, Wolf is seen beaten up. "Well, those nymphs were surprisingly extra feisty today. But we got the essence. Sheesh. It had to be on the day those nymphs are in one of their moods."
"I'm guessing it was their time of the month." Shark commented.
"To find mates?" Snake asked.
"Something like that." Diane answered. "Legend says that nymphs are curious creatures. Some may be shy like the ones here. Others might be really dangerous and might sometimes threaten any traveler who sees them. Legend also says that it is really offensive to them if someone disturbs them during the time of the month where they try mating rituals."
"AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT, YOU BIG, BAD WOLF!" A nymph disguised as a flower shouted.
"HEY! You're not supposed to talk!" Wolf retorted before turning back to his teammates. "Anyway, nymph essence, check." He checks it off on his to-do list. Next on the list is…cloud crystals and rainbow residue.
"GUYS!" A voice screamed, and fireworks burst behind them, and the Good guys shriek to see the Blowhole Bubbles using fireworks.
"Oh, it's only the dolphin." Snake said. "And he's playing with fireworks."
"Oh, of course. That seems pretty ni—" Piranha started before stuttering, "Wha—FIREWORKS?! Blowhole, we can't trust you with those deadly objects! They'll blow your head clean off if you use them wrong."
"Don't worry, guys. I can handle these fireworks." The dolphin chuckled. "I'm just preparing for the new Grand Gala this year."
"You're having another Gala?" Diane asked.
"You bet."
"SWEET!" Shark exclaimed gleefully. "ANOTHER PARTY!"
"But let's get to the point." Wolf started. "We need some rainbow residue and some cloud crystals."
"Well, if that's what you needed, then I am SO your guy." Blowhole said. "There's some rainbow residue in that jar over there." He points it out and gives the jar to them.
"Alright! Rainbow residue, check!" Wolf checks it off on the to-do list.
"Now, you also said you need some cloud crystals. Well, I don't know if I have some in my home. They're very rare and can be found in the biggest of clouds."
"You mean like that one?" Snake asked as he points at something.
Blowhole sees a huge cumulonimbus cloud far away from their location. "Oh, yeah, I forgot. It was supposed to rain today. I'm sure there's HUNDREDS of cloud crystals in there. Cumulonimbus clouds are the most dangerous clouds I can control. It takes a lot of my magic to keep them under control. And that one is currently setting a rainstorm 45 miles from here. You get too close to one of those babies, Wolf and Diane's fur will stand on end."
"Well, if it's the only place we'll find cloud crystals, then I guess we don't have much of a choice." Piranha declared.
They are near the area under the cloud when the Blowhole summons a falcon, which perches on his shoulder. "Alright, my pet. Once you enter the cloud layer, you might feel tingly after feeling the static electricity in the air. Do NOT let that electricity stop you. Once you enter deep enough, you'll find a clear white cloud barrier. You just go through that white barrier, and you'll find the cloud crystals."
The falcon takes off while carrying a huge bag and enters the cloud as it begins brewing with lightning, then suddenly sees a glowing electrical current in front of it and dodges the lightning bolt in time. Other lightning areas start building up. The fast bird dodges each lightning bolt as it flies through the cloud dodging each lightning bolt it comes across. 12 minutes later, it reaches the clear white cloud barrier, flies through it and sees a patch of millions of white and blue crystals in different sizes. The falcon grabs as many of the cloud crystals as it can, puts them in the bag and returns to the dolphin magician, who gives the crystals to the Good Guys.
"Now we got all we need to stop that crime-committing couple of crazy catastrophes!" Wolf declared.
"Well, we still need to make the stuff, then zap it." Snake said.
"Well, we do need to be careful." Piranha reminded. "If someone is spying on us with the glasses he made, this would be the right moment for him to try and sabotage us."
"Then we shall find a secluded location." Tarantula suggested. "Somewhere where nobody would dare spy on us."
"And I know just where to go." Shark spoke up.
Later, they are in a forest.
"A forest? Really?" Diane asked, unamused.
"Well, it's the only secluded location I can think of here. No one would dare follow us here."
"I hope you're right."
"Hello there, Good Guys wise and brave." A female voice said. "I suspect you're again keeping the world safe?"
The heroes turn around to see an anthropomorphic zebra.
"Who are you?" Shark asked.
"I'm Zecora." The zebra named Zecora answered. "If you're wondering why I'm here, well, I hope if someone hid out here, not even criminals would be crazy enough to come here. I mean, you know, these woods being considered dangerous and all."
"Well, we're after this attractive criminal couple who mesmerizes people with their charming, good looks." Tarantula said. "So we basically got a few ingredients to help us create these special glasses so we can be shielded by their beauty."
"The Glasses of Aphrodite I presume, but how do you attempt to resume?"
"Uh…we actually don't know how to make them with all the stuff we collected so far." Wolf answered.
Shark is pouring juice in his cup as he spoke, "Oh, phhbbt! That's easy. All we need to do is ask the compu—WHOA!" He falls over and spills his juice all over the computer, short circuiting it. "Oops."
"SHARK, YOU CLUMSY RETARD!" Snake screamed. "NOW HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MAKE THE GLASSES?!"
"If it is answers you intend to seek, maybe I can help." Zecora spoke up.
"So, you know how to make them?" Piranha asked.
"Well, when one lives in a place no living soul would venture unless brave, there's really not a lot one can do that many from the outside world would easily be able to that they would crave."
"I see, but, about the being able to turn this stuff into glasses." Diane said.
"Yes, if you will just follow me, I will help you with the glasses you need."
They follow Zecora to her hut. "Wow. This place is pretty nice." Wolf complimented. "Despite the smell of herbs and spices."
"Now, here's the ingredients." Snake said.
Zecora finds a book of Greek God relics and opens it to flip to the page about the Glasses of Aphrodite. "The glasses are a thousand years old, used to combat love deities' scold. Making such glasses requite clever smarts, a Midas touch, and a God's heart."
"EEW!" Piranha gagged. "How are we gonna get a God's heart? It's all slimy and disgusting."
"Piranha, she's being figurative." Tarantula reminded.
"What's that?"
Wolf facepalms himself.
"The process starts with the essence of nymphs." Zecora informed. "You rub them on the glasses until they're stiff."
"What did that poet say?" Snake asked.
"I think she said we need to rub the nymph essence on the glasses until they get hardened." Tarantula answered.
"Right." Piranha said and does that to every pair of glasses which are all lined up on a table, and has finished a minute later. "Done."
"Indeed." Shark said as he feels the glasses.
"What's next?" Diane asked.
"Then you use the essence of sirens, and you rub the lenses hard like a titan." Zecora answered.
"Rub the lenses with the siren essence. Got it." Piranha said and does that to every pair of glasses, and each one bursts in light as the effect takes effect, and has finished two minutes later. "Done."
"Things are going as nice as a jackrabbit in a funfair." Tarantula commented.
A cutaway shows a jackrabbit in Disneyland. "WHOOOO, I'M IN DISNEYLAND!" It shouted with glee.
Return to the present. "I DIDN'T NEED A CUTAWAY!"
"Next, you paint the glasses with rainbow residue, and wait until the lenses glow in a rainbow hue." Zecora instructed.
"I can assume that means you paint the rainbow residue on the glasses and wait for the lenses to glow." Diane commented.
Piranha puts the rainbow goo onto each pair of glasses, and they wait three minutes for them to glow. "We're still waiting for the glasses to glow." The lenses glow bright blue.
Shark shrieks as he shields his eyes from the bright glow, knocking over a few Zecora's tables in the process. "I'll clean that up."
"Next, you take two crystals of clouds, and put them in front of the glasses and they will shine around." Zecora instructed.
Piranha puts two cloud crystals in front of one pair of the glowing glasses, and the crystals shine the lights across the hut. "WHOA! WOO-HO-HO-HO-HOW! AWESOME!" He puts crystals in front of the rest of the glasses quickly, and the entire room is illuminated by the light.
"And last but not least, you use the bolt, and zap the glasses once they jolt." The glasses do just that, and she zaps the glasses, and they all glow bright, and the entire place bursts in light, but nothing happens to the place. When the light clears, the Good Guys see that the glasses are complete.
"Alright!" Shark exclaimed. "We did it."
Suddenly, a cobra burst through the ground and hissed loudly! Everyone panicked! The snake grabbed the glasses and went back underground, then resurfaces in front of the hooded voodoo doctor from earlier at the outskirts of the forest.
"I bet the Good Guys didn't realize my cobras have the ability to burrow underground." He said. "I can't say I didn't admire their attempt. Now, I better scram before I am met with the police surrounding me."
The Good Guys drive quickly to the outskirts in time to witness the doctor leaving, stop right in front of him, and confront him.
"I should've known you were involved in this." Wolf snarled.
"CURSES!"
"Ok, hand over the glasses!" Snake demanded.
"You only have ONE glasses! They wouldn't be able to shield ALL of you! Also, Senior Larry will just use his super speed to snag the glasses and leave you all exposed either way! It's too bad you don't have caster's immunity, where since yours truly, Dr. Fang, was the one who casted the attractiveness spell on those two, I am immune because I was the one who gave them the gifts, like, even when I am near Fifi, I would still be able to talk to her without being a babbling booty-seeking idiot, though Larry, even if I didn't have casters immunity, he still wouldn't affect me... Although now that I think about it, the attractiveness spell doesn't work on those of the same gender and each other for some interesting reason. But for the same gender thing, I guess that's what I get for using the Heterosexual spell, and not the magic hogging Bisexual spell- D'OH, I JUST REVEILED THE SPELL'S FLAW?! Oh, what does it matter, those two are always together."
"What makes you think there won't be times when they're separated, like when one of them has to use the bathroom. Or their own separate rooms?" Piranha asked.
"Yeah." Shark agreed. "Besides, we got many more glasses to…" Dr. Fang has gathered up the rest of the glasses with his magic, and then destroyed them. "…use."
"Well, maybe a little." Diane said nervously.
"But, still, I am NOT gonna let you foil my plans once again." Fang declared. "I'm taking drastic measures. I am gonna make sure that Senior Larry and Le Fifi NEVER separate."
"Really?" Wolf challenged. "And how do you think you will be able to do that?"
"Simple." Fang takes out magical chains.
"Oh, crap!" Snake interjected.
"I brushed up on history, and I think an old trinket of mine will prevent those two from separating."
"But won't it be awkward if they have separate bathrooms or bedrooms?" Piranha asked. "They might hate you more if you chained them, and that you would be responsible for them smelling like poop and have sleep deprivation."
"Gee, oh, never thought of that…which is why whenever they're separated, they will automatically gain a force field. HAH! Try and beat THAT!"
"Uh, that still does not solve the sleep deprivation and them smelling like poop thing."
"Oh, yeah, that." The voodoo doctor turns around and begins to pound himself on the head. "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! But…maybe I can magically bring them fragrance and…and I, uh—OH, I GIVE UP! YOU WIN! JUST DEFEAT THEM! I already knew this plan would be foiled anyway. Just do it so I can come up with a new one! I'M GETTING THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" He teleports away.
"What about our glasses, you jerk?"
Dr. Fang reappears, throws them at Piranha, hurting him, and vanishes again.
"You could've just given them to me."
Chapter four is completed, ya'll! And boy oh boy did so much happen! The Good Guys got the required ingredients from a dolphin magician named Blowhole Bubbles. Since Mr. Shark accidentally short-circuited the computer with juice, they had a zebra named Zecora help them make the glasses with the ingredients. Looks like Fang the voodoo doctor was the one who casted the spell on the robbers to make them super attractive and mesmerize anyone! The two new characters, Blowhole Bubbles, will be voiced by James Corden, and Dr. Fang will be voiced by Steve Buscemi.
I want to apologize to all of you for updating one chapter these past months. Things in my life have been getting in the way. Please review, thanks!