EDIT AN: These chapters have been renumbered from 8-11.

Chapter 10

She might have drifted off, although she wasn't entirely sure. She heard seagulls, and knew they must be getting close to land, meaning it was early morning. They were to port in Ao Nami at 10:30. Judging by the presence of the gulls and the fact the sun was not yet risen, it had to be around seven in the morning, she guessed. It was a reasonable hour to wake her friend.

She leaned down, giving Gaara's forehead a kiss before easing out of his embrace. Tiptoeing to her closet for some clothes before sneaking out to Tenshimi's room. She knocked on her door twice. The first time quietly, then the second a little louder.

"I'm coming!" Tenshimi huffed within. Then the door opened an inch from the chain lock as she huffed, "Is the ship sinking?"

"No," Emika said. Tenshimi frowned at her, clearly not pleased with being woken up. "I made a mistake. Can I get a sylph pill?"

Tenshimi's expression fell, and inside Emika heard Kankuro grumble, "Who is it?"

"It's Emika. Go back to sleep," she hissed. She turned back to the princess and said, "Hold on." Tenshimi shut the door, undoing the lock, then reopened it and waved her in. Emika stepped in, and Tenshimi guided her to the couch, which wasn't pulled out, which made Emika frown and point as Tenshimi shut her bedroom door. "What kind of mistake? Why do you need a pill?" Tenshimi asked worriedly.

"Where's Kankuro?" Emika asked, raising an eyebrow at her friend.

Tenshimi jutted her thumb to her room, muttering, "He's in bed."

Emika held up a hand, looking at her oldest friend entirely confused. "Why is he in your bed?" She asked, pointing at her accusatorily.

Tenshimi crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know you didn't think you were the only one fucking on this boat," she scoffed.

Emika blinked at her, then back to her bedroom door. "You're fucking my brother-in-law?" she gasped. "Since when!?"

"Oh, relax," Tenshimi huffed, flinging her hand as if it were nothing. "It doesn't mean anything." Emika shook her head, still clearly confused, and Tenshimi grumbled, "Honestly, it's nothing. I caught him masturbating on day three by accident." She rolled her eyes, then admitted, "Ok, only kind of by accident. Then he got all sour about it. So, we bickered about it for a day, which then led to a night of pretty decent fucking. So, we just decided to keep at it until the end of the trip. End of story. Now what happened to you?"

"Are you two in a relationship?" Emika asked, dodging the question.

Tenshimi scowled. "No. He's a misogynistic ass, and we would kill each other. He's just good with his dick." She pointed at the princess accusingly as she said, "Now, quit dodging the question. What happened?"

Emika pursed her lips, looking away guiltily, then admitted, "I got drunk last night and fucked Gaara several times."

Tenshimi made an odd face, then asked, "He's your husband. Haven't you been fucking the entire time?"

Emika scratched her forehead awkwardly, then admitted, "Look, it's just I'm ovulating, and we didn't use protection."

Tenshimi rolled her eyes muttering, "Yeah. Ninjas don't like condoms. Something about the prohibitions preaches against using protection, I guess." She leaned forward as she added, "Did you know that in some ninja villages, it's common practice for men to take on several wives? Mostly countries to the North, between us and the Land of Earth. So, it's not unheard of there for one man to father like twenty kids. And they marry them young too. The villages don't have kunoichi, because as soon as the girl starts her period, she's married off. Like, that's fucked up. I saw this documentary…"

"Tenshimi," Emika hissed, cutting her off and trying to get her back on track.

"Sorry," she murmured.

Emika sighed tiredly. "Do you have a sylph pill?"

Tenshimi pouted. "I don't. Sorry." Emika hung her head frustratedly as Tenshimi continued, "I switched to an IUD when my ex and I started having sex, because again, he was a ninja and didn't like condoms." She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair as she added, "And I also found out that the sylph pill stops working if you take it too much. Because it's technically a poison, your body can build up a tolerance to it. So, you take it, thinking you're good. But nope. Turns out your pregnant when you didn't want to be. Nightmare."

"Dammit," Emika sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Tenshimi was the only one she could go to for this, really.

Tenshimi pouted at her, then offered, "You could try the commissary. They have a basic pharmacy that might carry it." She held up a finger as she said, "I'll go with you. Just let me get dressed."

"Thanks," Emika sighed as they stood.

As Tenshimi went back to her room, Emika heard Kankuro ask inside, "What's going on?"

"Nothing. Just going to the Commissary for the pill," Tenshimi answered as she got dressed.

"Emika needs the pill?" he asked clarifyingly. Emika closed her eyes frustratedly, wanting to howl at Tenshimi to not tell him everything, but it was too late.

"I'll be back in a bit," Tenshimi stated before walking out, pocketing her room key before leading Emika out.

Emika remained quiet as they walked the halls down to the lobby, where the commissary was. It was currently closed, but usually opened at 8, so in a few minutes. Except as they walked up, they saw a sign posted on the locked gates of the store. "Closed for Final Day Events."

"Oh no!" Tenshimi sighed as Emika rubbed her eyes.

"This cannot be happening," Emika muttered.

Silence hung around them as Tenshimi looked around the lobby, only to see that all the stores had the same signs. "So, what do you do?" Tenshimi asked. "News broke last night. So, Ao Nami will be swarming with paparazzi before you hop on a train to Suna for a whole day. You'll lose your window."

Emika closed her eyes with a sigh. "I guess I'll have to figure something out."

Tenshimi pursed her lips, then asked, "Have you considered … just letting it happen?" Even as she asked it, Tenshimi's expression was clear that it wasn't really a desirable option. "I mean, it's not like you aren't married. Gaara's your husband."

Emika sighed, then said, "It'll just throw a wrench in my plans, is all."

Tenshimi frowned. "What plans? I mean beyond the House backing you and your husband's claim to power." She frowned with an affable shrug as she added, "Honestly, if you ended up pregnant like immediately, they might see the marriage as a love match rather than a power grab, and back you two sooner."

Emika sucked on her teeth, then stated, "It's just unfeasible right now." She waved off Tenshimi as they headed back to the suites, muttering, "It's alright. I'll figure something out."

Tenshimi eyed the princess worriedly, then asked, "Gaara won't be mad, will he? … If you ended up pregnant?"

Emika shook her head. "No. He'd be happy about it."

Tenshimi sighed, sounding very relieved. "Good. The last thing I'd want is for him to get angry with you about that."

Emika frowned, turning to her. "Why do you say it like that?" she asked.

"Well, everyone heard the stories about Gaara, growing up," Tenshimi said with an odd shrug. "I mean, I'd never met him before your wedding, so I didn't know how much of it was real. But his wrath was kind of legendary. You just looked at him the wrong way, and then your family wouldn't even have a body to bury. Y'know?"

"No," Emika said, pursing her lips. "I mean, he's talked a bit about how traumatic his childhood was, but I'd never heard it like that."

Tenshimi nodded. "Yeah. It was why I was worried at first when you said he was going to marry you. Because, sure according to everyone, he's not like that murderous demon child everyone was terrified of anymore. And meeting him, he was entirely mild-mannered. It's hard to recognize the man with the myth."

Emika nodded. "I think some of that is because it doesn't take into account the amount of times his father sent assassins after him. So, how many of those myths were actually just him defending himself. Not like he had a safe space to turn to for a long time."

Tenshimi pursed her lips, then muttered, "Well, I didn't know about that. It would explain some things." As they got closer to their suites, seeing the concierge waiting outside her suite, Tenshimi hugged Emika, and murmured, "Good luck."

"Thanks," Emika sighed.

The ship's horn sounded, announcing the ship's visibility of land. It was a bit of a rude awakening to Gaara, who woke with a start at the sound. It took him a moment to remember where he was and whose bed he was in. The thought and memories immediately eased him, reminding him how wonderful it felt to sleep with Emika next to him, and how serene his body felt from the rounds of sex. His muscles loose, mind clear, and balls oddly lightweight. He felt perfectly happy for the first time in life. Usually, he made do with feeling content with his lot in life. Not so happy that he couldn't wipe the stupid smile off his face that made him feel like he was glowing a little.

He'd seen men who seemed to beam bright smiles as they walked with bounces in their steps, taking in the world with more joy than the usual man. Colors brighter. Food better. Just incandescently happy. That's how he felt.

He knew they needed to talk about the possibility of staying together, because he couldn't just let her go now. Not after last night. Not after what they'd confessed and did to each other. Not when she made him feel like this. She was his wife, which first time since they got married felt entirely right, and not like a farce for the cameras.

He relaxed and rolled to snuggle up to his wife with a sigh, only for his hand to be greeted with empty sheets. He lifted his head from his pillow, asking, "Emika?"

But she wasn't there.

He sat all the way up as he looked around. He didn't hear the shower going or any rustling in the closet. He got up and plodded to the closet just to make sure, turning on the light only to find no one. He knocked on the bathroom door before opening it, finding it empty with the lights off. He turned them on, seeing the bustier she wore last night discarded by the sink. But he knew that she wasn't wearing it during their last bout, so that didn't mean much.

For some reason, he couldn't help but think something terrible had happened. The glow he'd woken up with had disappeared, replaced with sudden anxiety. In the back of his mind, he knew that was just his PTSD talking, telling him something tragic had befallen his wife. There was no reason to think it, because they were on a ship in the middle of the ocean. What could happen to her? It was just that last night was so perfect, that he had a sick voice in the back of his head that said, "You don't deserve the pure happiness you experienced last night. Maybe a moment, but never to keep."

He pursed his lips, grabbing a towel to cover his lower half, although just barely. He grabbed his undershirt and stepped out into the living space. "Emika?" he asked. She wasn't there. Subconsciously, he sent out his sand to sense for her, but couldn't find her. "Where…?" he muttered to himself.

There was a knock at the door, and idiotically, he thought it was her for a moment, before realizing this was her suite. She had a key. She wouldn't knock. Gaara froze standing in his towel as the concierge called out, "Breakfast," from behind the door.

Gaara's eyes flew wide, embarrassed to be caught entirely naked by strangers. "Hold on," he called out. Quickly, Gaara did his best to pick up his clothes from last night. The idea of some stranger seeing his underwear strewn about was generally disagreeable. As he rushed around the room, trying to make sure he'd gotten every piece of discarded clothing, he heard the door open. Thinking it was the concierge being impatient, Gaara swamped the entryway with sand, trying to bar the door, and said, "Don't come in!"

"What the Hell, Gaara?" Emika barked from behind the door. "Let me in!"

Immediately, his anxious heart relaxed, dropping his clothes on the couch as he rushed over to the door. He dropped his sand, opened the door and yanked her inside, then slammed his lips onto hers, earning a squeak from the princess. He was smiling again now that she was back. She pulled away a little, and he smiled, holding her in place and using a finger to brush her hair away from her face as he asked, "I was worried something happened. Where'd you go?"

She blinked oddly. "Tenshimi's room," she answered distractedly, her gaze finding his left shoulder.

He frowned curiously, then asked, "Tenshimi's room? Why?"

"You have a scar," she said, reaching for his shoulder, where there was a pinkish red divot that had an odd spider-webbing or tree-branching look reaching out from the epicenter.

He grabbed her hand and chuckled, "I guess you didn't see it earlier."

"When did that happen?" she asked.

"It was before we met," he answered. "The injury during the chunin exams the Council members said messed up my transformation during the Crush?"

She blinked, vaguely remembering the comment during the election. That the Crush failed because the jinchuriki sustained and injury before he could transform. That was before she realized who Gaara was, and was only thinking about getting Gaara transferred to her custody. Then he'd arrived, and she hadn't been able to think enough to put everything together, except that Gaara wasn't who he said he was.

She frowned as she felt the divot, and said, "I read … well, I thought Shukaku's host was supposed to be impervious to injury."

Gaara pursed his lips, lowering his gaze as he said, "I can be injured. It's just difficult." He sucked in air through his nose, then said, "This was caused by a technique called Chidori. It's a type of lightning blade jutsu."

She made an odd face, then asked, "So, you're weak to lightning blades?"

He moved his mouth quietly, feeling a little awkward revealing this about himself. But he knew if he couldn't trust his wife, who he was completely naked with not a few hours ago, who could he trust. "Strong lightning techniques can be problematic for me. However, I'm a lot more skilled than I was at twelve."

She smiled oddly to herself, and muttered, "That's ironic."

"What is?" he asked, smiling curiously.

She pulled herself away, pointing at the door, saying, "We should bring the food in before it gets cold. Smelled like pigs in blankets and cut fruit."

His brow twitched conspicuously, wondering why she would just change the subject like that, but said nothing as she reopened the door and pulled in the cart the concierge had seemingly left. Gaara watched as she grabbed plate and began to stack food onto it, occasionally looking him over before shaking her head a little, returning to her task. He smirked. "Does my nakedness suddenly bother you?" he asked, clearly in jest.

She licked her lips as if a little embarrassed, then said, "Last night was magical. Wasn't it?"

"I thought so," he said, now curious why she would be embarrassed.

She averted her gaze as she fingered the edge of her plate, then said, "I have a confession." His easy comforting smile was forced now as he felt his heart plummet. Something in her tone was wrong, even though he couldn't quite put his finger on why. "I was very drunk last night, and I don't remember most of it."

The statement felt like when Madara's Susanoo stabbed him through his back, leaving him to bleed out on the ground. He was frozen, sure her confession had left a physical injury on his body, because his heart and stomach hurt as they plummeted into his gut. "Oh," was all he could muster to say.

"Just know, I don't blame you or anything. I know when I get drunk like that, I kind of become a different person with a tendency of dragging guys back to my room, which is why I don't usually drink that much. I mean it's only happened twice before last night, and that was the moment with Genkei, and the second time I was lucky I went for Ryuki, who just helped me sober up." She licked her lips awkwardly, not noticing that every addition she made to explain herself last night was another dagger in Gaara's chest. "Just last night, I wasn't paying attention to my margarita intake. And I know I put the lingerie on myself, because I remember that much. I guess what I'm saying is it was a mistake, I know it was my fault, and I'm hoping we can both be adults about it. Just forget about it and move on."

"Mmm," he grunted agreeably, unable to form a sentence. He felt like a fool. A damned fool.

"And since I didn't see a condom, that's why I went to Tenshimi's. I was hoping she'd have a sylph pill, but she didn't. So," she said, exhaling bracingly before adding, "hopefully I can get one in Suna, and I'm still in the usable window for it. Because according to the calendar, I was at peak fertility yesterday. And the Commissary is closed, and Ao Nami is going to be a nightmare since the news dropped last night."

He looked to a far corner of the room, remembering her begging him to impregnate her last night. Remembering her telling him how she'd only ever loved him, and loved him still. Was all of it a lie? Again, the voice in the back of his mind said, "You don't deserve the pure happiness you experienced last night. Maybe a moment, but never to keep." He cleared his throat, then said, "That's actually going to be a bit difficult. Shortly before I was put in office, a conservative medical faction that had been pushing for banning the sylph pill for years finally got their say." He shifted his stance, his back stiffening as he added, "You'd have to go to Kin Village to get the pill."

She frowned at him. "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Actually, I'm not," he stated, surprisingly evenly. "It's never really been an issue though."

She looked around exasperatedly, then huffed, "Well, what we do?"

He licked his lips, then asked, "Have you considered doing nothing?" He cleared his throat, then remarked smugly, "I mean, you did ask me last night to impregnate you." He shifted his stance again, adding, "And would it be so bad if it did happen? We'd stay married, clearly. Is that so bad?"

She winced tiredly. "Please, don't make this about you."

He raised his brows, surprised. "I'm not. But would it be so bad having my child?"

"It would just throw a wrench in the plans," she said, shaking her head dismissively. When his expression lowered pointedly at her, she added, "Gaara, think. I can't not be the heir. If I got pregnant right now, you would have to give up everything. The Daimyos, they wouldn't let you stay as Kazekage. You'd have to appoint someone new, and would you even have an idea who? Not only that, you'd have to give up ninjutsu and ninshu. And you'd have to rescind all connections to your clan. Any children we have, they couldn't be in your clan. They couldn't be ninjas. Think, not only what that would do to you, but to your family. Your siblings. Your sister?" She shook her head. "None of our children can be a part of your clan. They couldn't be ninja, and they couldn't become Kazekage. You think the Council would be happy your only married sibling is now a resident of another country. Your brother? His life as he knows it would be over."

He scowled, not wanting to listen to her throw his family at him as an excuse to end things. It was weak. Nor was it the real reason for her backing off. Why couldn't she just say she didn't love him?

"You could just change the law," Gaara suggested. "Create the precedent that an acting Kage can marry the heir. We could rule together. We'd be able to have heirs of our own."

She scoffed as if the suggestion was laughable, which hurt Gaara a little. "Convincing the Daimyos that I can rule without a husband is already going to be an uphill battle. And then you want to add the current Kazekage is publicly influencing my decisions by being my husband." She shook her head with disbelief. "They would claim I was corrupt. They'd think you'd manipulated me into being military puppet, and be looking for the first chance to depose us. And I don't know if you've looked at the history books, but that means they would be putting us to death."

He set his jaw, knowing it was a possibility, but not having given it much thought. "Then why on Earth did you marry me?" When put that way, it seemed rather silly that she thought the Daimyos would grant her any power at all.

"Because I needed someone I trusted. Someone who wouldn't break easily," she spat. "And you can tell the Daimyos that you plan to rescind your claim to your title, knowing that as soon as the law giving me power passes, you'd be returning to your post."

He sucked on his teeth, feeling the bitter taste of anger on the back of his tongue before he spat, "If I wasn't Kazekage, would you have even asked me to do this."

"If you weren't Kazekage, I would have asked you first," she said plainly. "And I would have no qualms about having your child and staying married to you. That I could trust you to let me rule. But again, the only problem would be that you'd still have to give up your clan and being a ninja. You'd have to give up everything for me, which would cause more problems than is fair."

"And why would I have to give it up?" Gaara asked. "If you make the laws, you can change them."

"I don't make the laws. The House of Daimyos does," she stated. "Believe it or not, the Fudai Daimyo does not hold supreme power. It's the most one person holds in the country, sure. But it's not without limits. I provide funding and make proposals. I decide when we go to war and when we make peace. I decide when taxes are raised and what roads are built. Most importantly, I fundraise for causes I find worthwhile."

"And what of your children?" he asked.

She flinched, then answered with her own question, "What children?"

He straightened, a dark thought entering his mind. "My clan's heir is not the only one I need to worry about, now." He pursed his lips, not wanting to say what was in the back of his mind since the beginning of this marriage. "The throne needs you to provide an heir. So, what will you do? As soon as you use me to get power, you'll cast me aside and marry someone more preferable to hand the throne to?"

"No," she snapped back. "After our marriage, that's it for me! Once I have power, I will never marry again."

He shook his head, not believing her at all. The fact was simple. "You need an heir more than I do."

"If your jealous, take solace in the fact I won't remarry," she spat. "Simply put, any man's power would always diminish my own in the eyes of the Daimyos. If I had a husband, my rule would always be second-guessed. So, no. I won't remarry, and you will have been my only husband. After we're done, I will rule the Wind solely. Hopefully, long enough to make some positive changes in this world, so I can die a spinster in my bed, knowing I made a difference!"

He balked at that statement. Mostly because it didn't solve the issue he'd noted. "And your succession? If this childless marriage is it for you, who takes over?" he asked.

Her expression fell to a mix of sad and tired. "I have a successor."

"Who?" he pressed.

She closed her eyes, then said, "I can't tell you."

He scowled. "Can't or won't?" There was no reason not to tell him. She was using him, using his armies to take her throne, yet couldn't tell him how she planned to let her rule continue in her absence. That wasn't good. It was a bad sign in a leader, pointing to selfishness, wanting to rule for the glory of it rather than the necessity of it. He didn't want to think Emika was going to be a selfish ruler like her uncle, but this argument said otherwise.

She just looked at him sadly, her eyes flinching a little betraying her pain. He could see she wouldn't tell him, and his frustration with her festered. He bit his cheek, stopping himself from arguing further as he noted he was in his towel, and nothing else. In his anger and somewhat shock, he'd forgotten he was wearing essentially nothing. He gave a small bow, then muttered, "Excuse me."

"Gaara," she tried, sounding sad. But he ignored her. She couldn't be honest with him. Couldn't tell him the real reason she was pushing him away now. She couldn't tell him her plans beyond marrying him, then dissolving the marriage. He'd thought last night would change that, but apparently not. She said she trusted him, but as far as he could see, that trust was hollow.

He shut his bedroom door behind him and locked it. He stood there a moment, hearing her on the other side of the door, "I'm sorry. But it has to be this way." It sounded like she was saying it to herself, not expecting him to hear it. His eyes narrowed as he looked out over the horizon, the coastline of The Wind's beaches finally coming into view of his window. Just a thin brown line separating the sky from the water, but it was there.

He wanted to snap at her that it didn't have to be that way. That it was well within her power to change the Land of Wind's succession, since that was what they were doing in the first place. But he could tell she was decided on it. He pinched the bridge of his nose, shoving down the hurt and let the numbing frustrated anger take its place. It didn't do to wallow.

He pulled out his usual clothes and turned the tv to the news. Emika had said the news broke last night, but he hadn't gotten a chance to see. Since they were close enough to Ao Nami, they got the Wind channels. The Morning Breeze was on Wind Broadcasting Network. After a few bland feel good stories, they introduced the top news story: his and Emika's secret wedding. They showed the pictures of the wedding, which surprisingly looked as if it were a real wedding. The guests attending didn't look like servants of the palace. Their kiss looked like a real wedding kiss. Gaara didn't look as if he'd only been asked to marry her 19 and a half hours before. The report continued, stating more news had come to light that the trip Emika was reportedly on with friends turned out to be her and Gaara's honeymoon, with surprising paparazzi photos from their time in Port Safin, because he was wearing that ridiculous Coral Island print shirt. He had to commend the paparazzi, because he hadn't noticed them. They must be ex ninja, or had an incredible zoom lens.

They had an expert on the royal family and succession of the throne give his take on the events. While he agreed Gaara's claim to the throne now was the strongest, he pointed out that like Emika said, they needed to get the backing of the House of Daimyos before they could take power and finish their plan.

He finished buttoning his shirt, then turned off the tv and let out a small sigh. That was it. The story was out. He was sure by the time he reached Suna, news would have reached Konoha. He could still send his sister an email once he was in the office, but it was more likely she'd have heard about it before he could.

Seeing the news reel and hearing the people discussing his marriage, he realized bitterly that with the events of last night, he'd forgotten what they were doing this for. Their marriage wasn't based on love, but a need to change the dynamics of power currently running the country into ruin. His feelings for Emika beyond his thoughts on her as a leader didn't matter.

He liked to consider himself a realist. Someone who doesn't bank on anything happening outside of reality, nor expect of people more than he would expect of himself. It was how most ninja survived the trials given to their line of work. However, he was annoyed that even though he was a realist, and didn't get attached to unrealistic hopes, he'd let himself get attached to a future, to a woman, that would never pan out for him.

Again, it didn't do to wallow.

The only thing to do was to move on. What was it Emika said? "Both be adults. Just forget about it and move on." To live and let live was another way of saying it. However, even though he knew this, and repeated the mantra, it didn't make his situation any more comfortable.

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