Chapter 26
"I didn't mean to upset him. I was right with what I said before, I can never get it right with that boy. I should leave."
Mr. Clark started to make his way out of the building, but the mastermind put his hand out and asked, "please, don't go?"
"Mr. Ford, I don't think ya understand, me and Spencer we don't..."
"It was just the shock of seeing you here." Nate quickly interrupted, not wanting the man to linger on those thoughts and choose to keep on walking. "Give him time and I'm sure he'll want to speak to you. Spencer's gone through a lot of changes recently, sometimes he gets overwhelmed by it all and needs some space to think."
"You seem to know a lot about my son Mr. Ford, remind me how is it you know each other?"
Nate chuckled softly for a moment as he thought about the first time he'd met the hitter. It wasn't on that rooftop with the rest of his team like most assume, and it wasn't during one of their many chases across war-torn countries either. No, Nate met the infamous Eliot Spencer in a coffee shop, two blocks away from the IYS office building. If the mastermind was being honest with himself, he would admit that he was extremely frightened during their entire meeting, silently cursing his boss for sending him into such a dangerous situation. If one of the items his company insured hadn't been stolen by a certain Russian militant, Nate would never have made contact with the known assassin, and he definitely wouldn't have brought said assassin a cup of herbal tea.
But in the end, the meeting went well, with Eliot managing to retrieve the item and only a couple more scars to add to his collection.
That was just two years prior to the team's forming, and since then, the bond between Nate and Eliot has only continued to grow. So that's what he told the man now sitting across from him.
"We work together, have done for many years now, and over that time we became close, almost like brothers."
"Is that why you live together? I am right aren't I, this is where you all live together?" Mr. Clark waved his arm around to signal the surrounding area, his gaze lingering on the doorway that his son had escaped through. He then turned back to the others in the room looking slightly remorseful as he realized his mistake. "I'm sorry to just barge in, but the young lady out front told me I could wait back here."
"No that's fine. I'm Sophie Deveraux, it's an honor to meet you," the grifter greeted in response. "And these two are Parker and Alec Hardison," she added, as the two others each offered a hand for Eliot's father to shake. He, of course, returned the gesture, (those ingrained southern manners were hard to ignore) but he still seemed distracted, like a horse ready to bolt. It was clear that the mastermind needed to say something, and fast.
"Mr. Clark," regaining the man's attention with a glass of water and a gentle hand on his knee, Nate perched himself on the side of his wife's chair, directly opposite the man he was talking to. "I really think you should stay and talk to El-uh-Spencer. I think he could do with your support."
"Are you sure?" The older man continued to stare at the mastermind, with fear in his eyes but also strength in his body, just like his son often had during an intense battle. "I won't just hurt him more?" He seemed to be considering all his options, the same way Eliot would, waiting until he had all the information before coming up with a tactical response.
"Positive."
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"Eliot... Are you ok?" As Hardison approached the hitter's door, he could hear some grumblings coming from the direction of the bed as well as the subtle sound of wet sniffling. "I just wanted to check on you, bro. I guess that seeing your father after all these years was a bit of a surprise."
Eliot ignored the hacker as he came to sit next to him, turning his back towards his friend before mumbling, "I don't want to talk about it," in a soft but raspy tone.
"Ok-ok, we can just sit for a bit, talk about the weather maybe?"
They didn't talk about the weather or anything else for that matter. Instead, they just sat there in uncomfortable silence, listening to the harsh ticks of a nearby clock. It made the hacker squirm a bit, his ADHD making it difficult for him to sit still and quiet for long periods of time. But he stayed there because he knew if he was patient soon his friend would talk.
...
"I don't understand why he's here." The hitter's voice though gentle, startled Hardison as he wasn't expecting it yet. "He hates me, can't stand the sight of me, yet he came all this way to do what? See that I'm ok. I'm not fucking ok."
The rant had left Eliot breathless, tears threatening to spill at a moment's notice.
It was probably only the third time that Hardison has seen any real emotion coming from the hitter, and it wasn't getting any easier to witness. What made it worse though, was that he didn't have a clue what to say. It should have been Nate or Sophie comforting Eliot as he tried to hold back the tears, they knew how to handle these sorts of situations. All Hardison could do was sit there looking like a damn moronic fish with his mouth dropped open, as he stuttered out the first stupid question he could think to ask.
"Why do you think he hates you? Does he know what you did after the army or something?"
The hitter had started to compose himself, the cuff of his sleeve being used as a tissue as he slowly turned to face the hacker. "No, this was way before that."
"What happened?" Hardison questioned with a shakey voice. It wasn't too often that he pried into his friend's past, knowing that the consequences of even just asking could be catastrophic. It was pretty damn surprising when the hitter softly answered, "I-I... I made a mistake. One that cost him a lot."
"And he never forgave you for it? Even after all these years."
Eliot shook his head slowly, a single tear finally let free to fall down his face. "It's not the sort of thing you can forgive someone for."
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Meanwhile, over in Nate's apartment...
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"Maybe if you could explain things to me, because nothing makes sense when I hear it from your son."
The mastermind had tried to piece everything he knew together, both the facts and what Eliot had told him, but it felt like he was using fragments from two separate puzzles, they just didn't fit. He looked across at the man he thought might hold the missing pieces, watching as he slumped further into his seat.
"That's probably my fault," Mr. Clark interrupted Nate's inner turmoil, his eyes not quite meeting the mastermind's. He was a lot like his son in ways, his need to be strong and independent (oftentimes at a cost to himself) was definitely a family trait, but then there were moments when they seemed entirely different. For example, whenever Eliot was scared of something, he would look at it dead on, letting it see the fear in his unwavering eyes, never hiding away from the consequences. But his father, couldn't even raise his head, afraid to show the shame he was feeling. "Spencer was too young to really understand what was happening back then, and I wasn't around enough to clear things up for him. I think the way he sees the past may be a little off."
"Ok..." The mastermind raised his eyebrow slightly. 'That would explain a few of his... inconsistencies... but still...'
"Did Spencer ever tell you about his mama, or his brother Eliot? Did he mention how they died at all?"
"Briefly," Nate nodded, "while he was sick with a fever. He didn't really go into detail, but he was very clear about it being his fault... Which doesn't make sense to me. I looked into your family Mr. Clark, and I found the reports on the accident, but I couldn't see how any of this could be Spencer's fault at all."
"That's because it wasn't."
"Then why does he think..." Before Nate could continue he heard a sharp shuddering breath coming from the man opposite him.
"Because it's what I told him, Mr. Ford." Any eye contact that the mastermind and gained during their conversation was now completely gone as Mr. Clark's head fell swiftly into his hands, his rough hands rubbing harshly against his face. "That's why I shouldn't be here."
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"After they died, my father didn't want anything to do with me. I knew it was because of what I'd caused, and that I deserved it, but it still hurt." The tears that he'd been trying so hard to force back, were now flowing freely from the hitter's eyes. He hadn't spoken about any of this in years, and bringing up the memories made him feel like a damn just about ready to burst.
"I'm sorry, El." There wasn't much else Hardison could say at this point, not that Eliot could really hear him over the sounds of his gasping breaths.
"To start with I would try anything to get his attention. I got the best grades, scored the winning goal, even tried acting out for a while just to get a reaction out of him. But nothing seemed to work. In the end, I took me leaving to get him to notice me."
That last part seemed to be the straw that broke Eliot's back as he collapsed forward, before curling into himself on the bed.
The pure display of emotion had left Hardison speechless for a brief moment until he came to his senses and flung his arms around his hurting best friend.
"Hey man, none of that was your fault. He was your father; he should have been there for you."
"Why should he? I took the love of his life away from him Hardison, and his son too."
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"It's hard to explain." Mr. Clark had managed to calm down a little after a small amount of comfort from the mastermind, but his voice was still racked with unspent guilt. At times when he spoke, the words sounded raspy as if they kept snagging on the rough edges of his throat, making him stop and start as he dealt with the discomfort. And sometimes he would have to halt altogether just to catch his breath, secretly hoping that the man opposite him would tire of waiting and give up. But there was no such luck, Nate wanted to know everything and would wait patiently until he got it.
"I never blamed Spencer for the accident, not really. It was just that first night when the shock of it all left me lashing out at the only person that was there... My little boy."
"Then why does he still think that you blame him? Surely you spoke about it since then?"
Eliot's father shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know why I let things get so bad between us. Looking back, I can see how abandoned the kid must have felt. I didn't even acknowledge him most of the time, and when I did it was just to scold him. I didn't even know until two years after he left that Spencer was the quarterback for his school's football team and that his grade average was in the top five percent for his year. I mean, what kind of father doesn't know about his own kid's schooling? A bad one, that's who."
Nate could see the regret sitting heavy on the other man's shoulders, he recognized it on a personal level and knew the strain that pressure caused to hold it there. The mastermind wasn't sure how much of that pain was deserved, but he tried comforting his friend's father all the same.
"Your son doesn't really like to show off his intelligence." It was something he learned early on in their relationship and assumed had been the case all his life. "I couldn't count how many times he's shocked me with the things he knows. Maybe he just doesn't like to share his achievements."
It would explain a lot about Eliot's behavior over the years, but Mr. Clark's slowly shaking head would suggest otherwise.
"No, before the accident, Spencer loved when he got praised. It's why he tried so hard to master everything, he just wanted mine and his mum's approval. But all that changed once it was just the two of us."
Nate started to feel uneasy at that moment, he could sense the tension in the air as it continued to build. Whatever this man had left to say was going to be uncomfortable, and he was clearly struggling to find the right words to explain himself, but Nate needed to hear it. This could be the last piece he was looking for, the one that completed the complex puzzle that was Eliot Spencer.
With a gentle nudge, he prompted Mr. Clark to continue.
"I'm not a perfect man, and I'm definitely not a perfect father. But for a short time, I was at least decent at it." He sighed and scraped a large calloused hand through a deep tangle of his greying hair. "Spencer was the light of my life, I loved that boy with all my heart and wouldn't change him for the world. But after I lost my wife and eldest son, things just changed. It was like my life turned dull all of a sudden, and he couldn't feel anymore. Not even Spencer could brighten things up for me, and I just stopped paying attention to my boy." Mr. Clark could see the shock on the other man's face, as well as some subtle shades of disgust, but who could blame him? Even with the next bit of explanation, it wouldn't make any difference, not to him or his son. "I went to see a shrink a few years back to help me understand things a little better. She said it was grief that caused me to act the way I did toward him. But it's still no excuse, Mr. Ford. Spencer should have been grieving too, but he was never given the chance. Instead, he took the brunt of his father's emotions, while he himself shut off from the world."
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"I don't know what to do, Sophie," Nate whispered sharply. His wife lying just a few inches away in their shared bed. "I mean... I want Eliot to get better, to move on from his past and feel more solid because of it. But I don't know if his dad is the best way to do that anymore." He didn't want to hate Mr. Clark, he wanted Eliot's father to help him, to make things better for the hitter. But maybe that was impossible.
"Why, what did he tell you?" The grifter shifted her body so she could look at her lover with tired yet understanding eyes.
"Originally, when El told me how he felt, and I read his history. I thought that it was just him being the way he is, taking on all the blame in the world. But now..." Eliot was really messed up inside, and the mastermind could see why now. It wasn't El's fault, he was just a kid living in a crappy situation, and that led to his adult self seeing the world through screwed lenses. It made Nate wonder what Spencer might have become if his childhood had been different. "Maybe the Eliot we know isn't who he was meant to be?"
"What do you mean?"
Nate sighed but attempted to explain himself. "According to his father, El was a really vibrant child. Before his mother's death, he was very open and wore his heart on his sleeve... Huh," Nate thought for a moment, a small chuckle barely escaping his lips, "he was probably a lot like Hardison."
Sophie also laughed at the comparison, before quickly getting them back on track. "But then things changed."
"Yeah. His dad became distant, basically abandoned the kid during one of the toughest times in his life, and never came back." It was a harsh way of putting it but Nate wasn't feeling very compassionate right now. Still, the look on his partner's face made it clear he needed to explain things better, probably before she got the chance to slap Eliot's poor unassuming father. "He didn't actually leave his son, he just left mentally, if you get what I mean. And that's when El's demeanor started to change. There were some notes from his teachers that suggested counseling that Mr. Clark just ignored, as well as calls from the school asking for a talk. And I can't help but think, what if he'd listened? Maybe Eliot wouldn't have fallen into the life that he had."
"So, you no longer want Eliot's dad to be here, to talk to his son and help him through this." Sophie had calmed with the added information, her mind now taking the intellectual approach.
"No, not if he's the cause of all this. I don't want to put El through any more grief."
The grifter pulled her husband in close, wrapping her arms around him in a tight squeeze. She had some thoughts on the situation, possibly ones that the mastermind didn't want to hear, but needed to, if only for the sake of their hitter.
"Well, maybe this could be Mr. Clark's chance to put things right, Nate? He just needs the leverage to do so."
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After his conversation with Sophie, Nate had left her in order to check on the now-sleeping Eliot. He could see that the younger man had been crying, but someone (probably Hardison after the hitter had finally collapsed from exhaustion) had successfully cleaned him up and tucked him into bed for the night. Eliot hadn't changed into his pajamas before dropping off, but the vest and boxer shorts would do for now, especially with the added blanket.
So with that all sorted, the mastermind quietly made his way back to his apartment, only stopping when he saw Parker sitting alone in the dark and empty briefing room.
"Hey, Parker." He stage whispered as softly as possible. "You feeling ok?"
It took a few seconds for the thief to answer, sometimes she needed the time to organize her thoughts so Nate patiently waited.
"I don't like the way everyone treats Eliot now."
"What do you mean?" The mastermind questioned, really having no idea what the young thief was talking about.
"Back there at the warehouse. Eliot told you he could handle it but you wouldn't listen. No one trusted him except me, and I know that makes him feel bad." Parker had been thinking about it all afternoon, and at some point, it started to bother her and she knew she had to speak up about it. El had taught her some stuff over the years, and one of those things was standing up for herself and others when she thought something was wrong.
"We're just trying to protect him, Parker. Since his accident, things have been different, and we've had to change to accommodate those differences. It doesn't mean we care for him any less."
"I get that, but what if we force him to change too much?" Ever since the hitter got hurt, Parker had seen the light slowly go out in him. But then at Christmas, things got brighter again, and she could see the old Eliot coming back, even if he was a bit different. She just worried that the team's behavior could finally snuff him out for good. "He's already lost a lot, Nate, and I don't want him to slip away from us again."
"Come here" Nate reached his arm out, signaling the thief to come in for a hug. "I'm sorry, Parker. Your right, I should listen to him more and you were right to stick up for him earlier."
"He really is getting better, even if he does fall sometimes." The words were a little muffled, coming from a mouth that was buried deep within the mastermind's shirt. But Nate could just about understand them as he tightened his embrace.
"I know."