Ship Log 2: Seafaring

Luffy spent all day running around the ship, making sure he knew every detail. I think he freaked out about the same features twice in some areas. He especially likes the ram's head on the bowsprit (Nami tells me this is what the point of the bow is called). He spent all afternoon sitting cross-legged on the ram's head and yelling from it. I'm glad he's the kind of kid who falls asleep quickly. It would be hard to sleep around a whole night of his enthusiasm.

I've turned the dining room/meeting room into a makeshift study. There are a few bare shelves where I can store the logs. Kaya even threw in a few blank volumes for us to use. I hope to be able to fill every one of them.

Nami's been teaching Usopp and me about knots and sails. We've been doing most of the pulling and lifting since her shoulder got hurt fighting the hypnotist. (I think she might be milking some of it, since she was able to lift the treasure into the ship all by herself, but I don't mind. I'm just happy to be here).

This really is a beautiful ship. I don't know how Kaya acquired her so quickly, but she's perfect. I'm going to need a lot more of Nami's training to even adequately know how to tie a sail, but I have time. Zoro's been sleeping off the battle and the last mugs of beer he had. The weird thing is I don't think it was the beer that made him pass out.

With what Nami and Luffy told me about the last two towns they visited you would think that guy gets a scar everywhere he goes and then sleeps for a few days. I suppose scars are signs of progress. You can't become the world's greatest swordsman if you're afraid of getting a little bloody. I was told that each of his fresh wounds were made because he was protecting somebody. I'm surprised Usopp hasn't found a sunny spot on the deck and joined him in his nap. He was pretty beat up too. I hope I can be as brave as these guys someday.

Luffy keeps going on about how we need a musician now. Nami keeps emphasizing that none of us are any good at cooking and that we don't have a doctor yet. Nami and I know a few basics, I can sew a straight seam, but I still burn half of what I put over a fire. The last thing I saw Usopp make was completely inedible. I think I saw it crawling off the plate. We usually just ate at the diner. Usopp made ends meet by doing small repair jobs around town and I made plenty of money with my job, especially from Kaya. That woman was so generous. To be honest, I would spend more money if I had continued to prepare food for myself. I really can't cook.

Nami and I have a small room at the back of the ship and the men have a larger room that takes up most of the lower deck. The second level is the store room and cannon decks. The kitchen and dining room are level with the deck. There are two sails, the fore sail, for movement, and the mainsail, for steering (Also depicted by Nami). There are also oars beneath deck for windless days. (I really need to brush up on my ship terminology). We have plenty of time for that as well.

Valentine's Personal Log 2: Restless

The smallest ship I've ever been on before now was a Barque. As a Caravel, this ship is so small that I can hardly walk around without running into someone. With four other people, if they all spread out it's hard to be alone. I've taken to sitting in the crow's nest for solitude, which can get annoying after a long day of cleaning when your arms are tired. Nobody questions it though. They think I'm trying to be useful, which I am. Deep down I think I just want to see the first signs of danger so nothing finds me complacently napping.

I scared myself today. Nami taught us to make slip knots. I almost found myself tying the only knot I knew before today: a noose. I quickly undid my work, but my hands were already shaking. I have never in my life thought of using one on myself, but they frighten me all the same. How many times did I watch him string people up by their hands and feet before finally putting the rope around their necks? I wanted to throw the rope into the ocean, but it was attached to the sail. I tied the knot quickly and moved to tighten knots on the mast instead. I'm glad I practiced keeping a calm face at the village. Some of these people have the senses of an animal. It would be only a matter of time before they suspected something if I let my emotions show.

Sometimes I want to pull these memories out of my head and burn them like paper. When they consume me I can't find a quiet place on this ship. During the day I make excuses and sit in the storage room or the bathroom until I feel better. I find some menial chore that needs doing and scrub something that's already spotless until it gleams. I'm surprised that so little dust is around to settle on the ocean. Luffy makes a lot of dirty dishes though. I'm grateful to his appetite for giving me something to do.

At night, when I can't sleep, I go out onto the deck. There's usually only one person up there until the sun comes up. Nami's started noticing that I keep getting up at night and that I'm tired in the mornings. I keep using the excuse that I'm not used to being off land and feel a little sick, which is true, but I wonder how much of the cramps in my stomach come from the swaying of the ship. I suppose we'll find out by the end of the week. I'm sure to have my sea legs by then.

Luffy and Zoro can sleep through anything. They're way too relaxed for my comforts. Sometimes I find Usopp looking back in the direction that we've come. I'm sure he's thinking of Kaya. He always turns around, though, and faces where we haven't been yet with a big smile on his face. I've known him long enough to know that he's excited for the adventures we're sure to have. Nami seemed a little distant at first, but I think she's really starting to feel at home with the crew. The whole lot of them have a familial quality that I can't quite put my finger on. I want to relax, but then that stupid mail bird brings a newspaper or I need to send another letter home. If something doesn't change soon I'll go crazy.

There has been one small comfort, though. There was a full moon tonight. The ocean was as still as glass and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I stood on the bow looked out at the scene. When the night's lit up like this I find any despair and anxiety lifting from me. Sights like this remind me of the beauty in the world that can outshine the darkness, or some other line that I read in a poem once. It was like the ship was sailing on the sky and every star was awake to join in. For the first time in nearly two years, I wanted to waltz across the deck and hear the kind of music that attracted dolphins to ships and calm Neptunians.

Zoro was keeping watch. He was sitting in the shadow of the mast with his swords propped up next to him. Sometimes I think he goes to the bathroom with those things. I didn't notice him until I had made a few spins. I was a little embarrassed but I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep for another few hours, so I stayed on deck. I didn't feel uncomfortable under his gaze, which surprised me. There was only mild curiosity in his eyes and the ghost of a smile on his lips at catching me being so childish. He did not ask any questions and I offered no answers. We just looked at each other for a few seconds and I turned back to the ocean.

I wonder if he's cultured enough to know the kind of dance I had begun. He doesn't seem like the type who dances often, especially in a ballroom. Even if he did, he probably just thinks that I like to dance. What girl doesn't, right? Next time I'll make sure to be less graceful about it. I probably shouldn't dance in front of Nami. That woman is too perceptive for her own good sometimes.

The whole crew is used to my insomnia by now. They don't bat an eye when I randomly show up on deck. I've caught Nami getting up a few times to check the treasure stash though. Out on deck I can quiet my mind and let the moon lull me into some sense of security.

After a while I went into the kitchen and brewed some tea. I took Zoro a cup, since it's hard to boil enough water for just one. He took a sip, nodded appreciatively, and said, "If you want to dance, then dance. It's no different than me lifting weights or Luffy stretching."

I smiled at this. "On a night like this, I think there's dancing enough." I watched the stars shimmer on the ocean for a few seconds more before going back inside and lighting a candle on the table to write. I always feel better after writing. Getting all my feelings out onto paper releases my anxiety. I just have to remember to hide this one in my bag before sleep finds me.