''Alright mija.'' Maribel breaths out as she walks into the kitchen making sure everyone is occupied in the backyard. ''Spill.''
''Spill what?'' Santana asks faking curiosity as she hears her sister snicker softly while they prepare drinks for everyone, Maribel just clicks her tongue as she closes the door and leans against it with her arms crossed.
''What is going on between you and Britt?''
Santana glances at her sister smiling as she sees her amused grin and looks over her shoulder at their mom. ''We may, or may not have been out on a few dates.''
''With and without Nic.'' Abi adds grinning as she turns on her heels to look at their mami.
''For real?!'' Santana winces as Maribel squeals loudly and groans.
''Mami, keep it down.'' She pleads as she turns on her heels to look at her.
''So the both of you are together si?'' Maribel asks lowering her voice as she walks over to her daughters.
''Not yet.'' Santana breaths out. ''But we are dating si.''
''Sort of dating.'' Abi breaths out, she winces as Santana hits her side with her elbow and shrugs. ''What? You didn't even kiss yet.''
''Dating doesn't mean that you have to kiss during it.'' Santana grumbles.
''It kinda does if you are interested in a relationship with her.'' Abi points out, Maribel just tilts her head as she notices Santana just glare at Abigail and raises an eyebrow.
''Something still holds you back.'' She breaths out, Abi turns to her sister in surprise not having thought of that and frowns.
''What is it Santanita?'' She asks softly as she notices her biting her lip.
''I'm scared.'' Santana whispers softly as she gazes into her mami's comforting brown eyes.
''Of?'' Abi asks in surprise, Maribel nudges her softly and shakes her head.
''Don't push.'' Maribel warns her eldest softly, she turns to look at her youngest and tilts her head. ''Talk whenever you are ready Santanita.''
Santana just leans against the kitchen counter and shrugs looking down at her feet. ''I am scared that the same thing that happened with Marcus, will happen with Britt if I let her in completely.'' She whispers softly. ''I feel bad, but I can't change it.''
''Why do you feel bad?'' Maribel asks curiously.
''Because she is so fucking understanding mami.'' Santana breaths out frowning. ''We go on dates, we hold hands and we cuddle.'' She whispers. ''But the second we say goodbye, I just kiss her cheek and she never tried to kiss me and goes with whatever I do.''
''I am sure she notices your struggle mija and she doesn't push you because it will only send you further behind the wall you build up around your heart.'' Maribel breaths out with a sad smile. ''But.'' She continues softly before Abi can butt in. ''You can't keep on thinking like that though, si what happened to Marcus was bad and it hurt all of us, but we sadly can't look in the future and see what happens.''
''Exactly.'' Abi agrees softly. ''But do you want to live thinking of what if's or listen to your heart and enjoy it Hermana?''
''I just fucking miss him.'' Santana chokes out. ''I know it's bad thinking of him the whole time now that an amazing woman entered my life and definitely captured my interest but…''
''He is still with you Santanita.'' Maribel whispers gently cutting her off. ''Yes I know you need him right beside you but sadly that's not possible.'' She covers Santana's heart with her hand and smiles sadly as tear filled brown orbs lock on her own. ''Holidays are always hard but he is right here.''
She gently taps her head with her fingers. ''Here and enjoys everything that happens in your life with you, I am sure he is looking down at you and roots for all the good things happening in your life.''
''Didn't you tell us that Brittany uttered something similar to what Marcus said to you?'' Abi asks softly, she tilts her head as Santana hums silent tears streaming down her cheeks and pulls her in a hug. ''Maybe Britt is his message to you Hermana, maybe he send her to make you happy because he noticed you suffering.''
''That does sound like something he would do.'' Maribel breaths out as Santana sniffles. ''He always put your and Nic's happiness first.'' She nods her head to the kitchen window as she sees Nicolas playing soccer with Brittany and smiles lovingly. ''And just look at him, he is happy Santanita and we see the old you shimmering through whenever Brittany is around too.''
Santana just looks out of the window and slowly nods her head as she sees the big smile on her sons face. ''Yeah maybe.'' She murmurs.
''Listen to your heart Santanita.'' Maribel just advises softly. ''Don't go after what your mind tells you because.'' She taps her heart again. ''Your heart knows what is best for you, we will all always miss him and I am one hundred percent sure that Brittany isn't here to take his place but she entered your life to make you happy.''
''Follow your heart and happiness will follow Hermana.'' Abi breaths out as she kisses her temple. ''No matter how long it will take, I am sure Brittany will still be there as soon as you wrapped your head around it.''
''Something else is also holding you back, am I right?'' Maribel asks as Santana slowly nods her head, she tilts her head as they lock eyes and smiles sadly as she notices the surprise in her eyes. ''Is it Abuela?''
She sighs as she nods her head and glances out of the window as giggles fill the kitchen, she smiles lovingly as she sees Brittany chasing the kids with Michael and Puck and turns back to her daughter. ''Fuck her.''
She chuckles as Abi also turns to her in surprise and shrugs. ''Your papi and I want the both of you to be happy and if your happiness is Brittany we will love calling her a part of our family.'' She turns to Abi and smiles. ''Liv is already one of our daughters, we love her to death and your Abuela knows that.''
''But her hate..'' Santana starts, Maribel just shakes her head and kisses her forehead.
''Let her live with that, if she disowns you too she will have no one in her life Santanita.'' She whispers. ''We won't invite her if she continues like this, we want to see our daughters happy and not sad because one person in our family hates everything but people that belong to her family.''
''I am also pretty sure she won't survive whatever Brittany will say as soon as she tries to insult you.'' Maribel breaths out with a slight grin. ''We already noticed her protective stance near Abi during the birthday weekend and Abi is just one of her friends, I think that girl has fire and it will come out if someone tries to hurt the people she loves.''
''So I didn't imagine her heated glance?'' Abi asks in surprise, Maribel shakes her head and chuckles.
''You didn't and we all noticed, your papi noticed it first and that is why he pulled her outside that Sunday afternoon with the excuse that he needs help carrying the grill.''
''He didn't need help?'' Santana asks softly.
''Our grill has wheels mija.'' Maribel breaths out chuckling. ''He just wanted to thank her for keeping an eye out the night before and make sure nothing could ruin your.'' She nods her head to Abi. ''And Liv's night.''
She turns back to Santana and kisses her forehead. ''But just like we said, take your time mija just know that your papi and I will support you no matter what.'' She whispers softly. ''Same goes for everyone else, just because one person lives her life by the bible doesn't mean everyone does.''
Santana nods her head and wipes away her tears. ''I will mami.'' She promises softly, she kisses her cheek and turns to Abi. ''Thank you Hermana.'' She whispers softly as she pulls her in a hug.
''Anytime Santanita.'' Abi murmurs as she kisses her cheek. ''Go freshen up, mami and I will bring the drinks out.''
Santana nods her head as she pulls out of the hug and walks out of the kitchen as her mami and sister grab the drinks to bring outside, she jogs up the stairs after grabbing the bag Brittany placed there to bring up later and walks into her old room.
She sits down on her bed after placing Brittany's bag near her closet and glances around, her eyes land on the first picture of her, Marcus and Quinn together and bites her lip. ''Is it time to follow my heart querido?''
She sniffles as a beam of sunlight hits the picture a few seconds after her question and just nods her head. ''I will take that as a yes.'' She whispers softly. ''It's just fucking hard.'' She murmurs dropping down on her back, she covers her eyes with her hands and sniffles. ''Holidays and Nic's birthday will never be easy.''
She grabs her phone as she hears it buzz and frowns as she notices a message from her papi, she taps it gulping thickly as she notices that it's a quote and just covers her mouth as a sob escapes her throat suddenly.
From Papi:
I can no longer see you with my eyes
Touch you with my hands
But I will feel you in my heart
Forever
He will always be near mija, he is a messenger now and people entering your life are his message for you and they have a reason. You just have to find out what reason, I think you found your answer to the blonde tall message, listen to your heart mi corazón because happiness is just around the corner. Accept it, open up and enjoy it.
She drops her phone as a soft knock pulls her attention away and sits up, she gulps thickly as concerned blue orbs lock on her own the second the door opens and sniffles. ''Hey.'' She just croaks out.
Brittany smiles sadly and walks over to the bed, she lays down beside her and opens her arms. ''C'mere.'' She murmurs softly.
Santana just turns on her side immediately accepting the invite and cuddles close with a soft sniffle. ''Sorry.''
Brittany just shakes her head and kisses her temple. ''Never apologize for this Santana.'' She murmurs softly against her warm skin. ''You want to talk?''
Santana shakes her head wrapping her right arm tightly around Brittany's slim waist and nuzzles her face against her shoulder. ''Just hold me.'' She closes her eyes as she feels her hold around her just tighten and exhales shakily. ''I love and hate holidays because it just shows me who is missing.'' She chokes out.
''I know.'' Brittany whispers softly as she runs her hand up her back, she shakes her head as she tries to pull back and locks eyes with her as she looks at her. ''I am okay.'' She reassures softly.
''I know Em doesn't suffer from the pain anymore so I learned to keep that up as a mantra to enjoy the holidays a bit.'' She murmurs. ''This is the first time I really celebrate it, normally I never do but I know she is happy wherever she is now and that is the most important thing to me.''
''And they are still around.'' Santana whispers, Brittany hums in agreement and glances at her bag.
''Exactly.'' She slowly pulls out of Santana's hold reaching for her bag and pulls it closer as they both sit up. ''I decided to wait with this gift, but I think you need it right now.'' She murmurs.
''Brittany.'' Santana whispers frowning. ''The collage filled with pictures of Nic growing up is more than enough.''
''That was a gift from me and the group.'' Brittany murmurs as she grabs the gift she bought for Santana, she holds it out for her and smiles slightly. ''This one is just from me, Nic will receive the same thing with just different words in a few days.''
Santana frowns in confusion slowly opening the gift and tilts her head as she eyes the package, she opens it slowly taking the gift out and gasps softly as she looks at the wind chime with the card Listen to the wind and know I am near attached to the striker.
''Brittany.'' She whispers tears filling her eyes.
''Nic will receive one with the sentence, when the wind blows, know I am near.'' Brittany whispers softly. ''His could hang near the playground while yours hangs near the patio, I know no gift will take the pain, but I hope it will be a bit comforting.''
Santana just places the box beside her after sliding the gift back in and hugs her tightly. ''Thank you.'' She whispers softly. ''It will be very comforting.''
Brittany just kisses the top of her head and holds her close, she runs her hand up her back again and nuzzles her nose in dark locks. ''Anytime Santana.'' She whispers softly knowing she hears her as she feels her hold around her waist tighten, she lays back down tugging her with her and just holds her close hoping she can take a bit of her pain away.