[Author's Note: The science behind the retelling in this section can be found on YouTube: The Film Theorist- "Film Theory: What REALLY saved Snow White!" (It won't let me put the hyperlink.)]
A Different Story
Karmen waves goodbye to Johnny and Yosaku from their place in the crowd of villagers on the dock. She was going to miss being called "Sister Karmen." She never had any siblings and wonders if that was what it would be like to have protective older brothers. Thinking of her family, she quickly shifts her focus to the apple in her hand, admiring the gleam off of its skin. She appreciated that the villagers had considered that not everyone's diet on the ship consisted of meat and alcohol.
"Is something wrong with it?" Zoro asks.
"Nami's tangerine trees kind of make me want to grow apples," she explained. "With what I heard about the fight with Krieg, I was trying to think of the best way to poison one." That gas mask she picked up could definitely come in handy.
He cocks an eyebrow at her. "Why would you want to do that?"
"There's an old story we were told as children back home." She smiles, letting the apple dangle loosely from her hand. Zoro looks inquisitive, so she elaborates. "There was a princess that was treated like a slave by her stepmother when her father died. She ran away and lived with seven little men who worked in a diamond mine. They loved her as a princess and because she kept house and cleaned for them.
"When her stepmother found out where she was staying, she disguised herself as an old crone and soaked an apple in nightshade. She gave it to the princess and the poison was so strong that it put her into a coma before the first bite went down her throat. Thinking she was dead, the miners put her in a glass coffin in the woods. Then some necrophiliac prince comes along and decides to kiss the dead woman.
"It turned out that the coal dust that was in her system from cleaning up after the miners had worked its way through her and negated the poison's effects, meaning she was almost out of her coma already. She was kissed so fiercely that the apple in her throat, the source of the poison, was dislodged. She wakes up soon after and everyone thought it was the magic of true love. She ended up marrying the creep anyway because he had money."
Zoro looks perturbed. "I think I heard a different version of that story as a child…"
"Just a thought." Karmen bites into her apple, thankful that the villagers don't grow grapes on their island. She hates grapes.
Usopp walks up to her once everything settles down. "Hey Karmen, you stopped by the post office before we left, right? I'm a little disappointed you didn't have me help."
She smiles up at her friend. "Sorry, Usopp. Those letters weren't to my father. Since we were on a bigger island I decided to send a letter back to Tantonia to let her know we were alright. Don't worry. I included your bravery in battle and asked her to share the news with Kaya. I also sent a thank-you letter to an old friend." She waves a pen at him. "I know it'll be hard to top, but I'll need your unyielding skills to help me write a real doozy later. With the big fuss Luffy caused I'll need dear old dad distracted."
Usopp strikes a pose and holds his thumb up to her. "Just call me Steadfast Usopp! Story Master Usopp! Captain Usopp!"
Karmen can't help laughing.
"Why do you need Usopp's help to write your dad?" Luffy asks.
"Just a game we play," she says softly. "Daddy has to guess which story I tell him is the truth. If he guesses wrong, all his responses get sent back. Who better to keep him guessing than a professional liar? In a year and a half, he hasn't managed to get the right spot even once."
"I'm Usopp, the great dramatizer!"
"Maybe Usopp helps a little too well," Nami muses.
Karmen laughs again and finishes her apple.
Valentine's Personal Log 9: Useful
I've been thinking of how I could be more useful to the crew. I learned a lot about farming in Syrup Village. I killed so many house plants that first six months, but they really taught me a lot. Nami spent her childhood growing Tangerine trees. Maybe she could help me grow apple trees on the ship. I'd take an orchard over a vineyard any day.
On a side note, I think I disturbed Zoro with a fairytale.
I found myself wanting to tell Luffy the truth today. Being here could be dangerous, but I need him to get me through the West Blue, even if we have to get there through the Grand Line. Right now, that's the only thing that matters.
Captain and Commitment
Luffy leans over the table where Karmen is writing. "Oh, hello Luffy. Would you like some tea?"
"I was looking to see if Sanji was making lunch yet," he says, adjusting his hat. "You sure do work hard. What do you write in those things anyway?"
"Where we've been, people we meet, fights that take place, where we're going… you know. Just the general overview of what happens. Nami comes by every now and then to give me the bearings, not that they make much sense to me right now." Karmen turns the ship's log towards him. "Would you like to read it?"
"Nah," he says. "I know pretty much everything that's in there."
"I think Sanji was in the crow's nest."
"Keep up the good work!" He walks out the door and starts yelling up the mast.
"Aye, aye, Captain." She throws a little sand over the paper to dry the ink and closes the log. Getting up, she secures the book on the shelf behind her and leaves the ink in a net satchel hanging from the corner. She gathers up her cleaning basket and makes her way below deck to the men's quarters. They had insisted on doing their own laundry, but their idea of clean left much to be desired. She knocks politely, even though she was pretty sure everyone was up on deck.
To her surprise, Usopp opens the door. "Karmen?" he asks. "Didn't you clean in here yesterday?"
Karmen glances into the room. Luffy had left a change of his clothes on the floor and there are darts scattered beneath the hammocks. Something greasy has been smeared on one of the windows and a drink had been spilled in the corner. Someone had clipped their toenails, completely missing the trashcan. "My services seem to be needed."
"Right, then." He takes the bucket of soapy water and a rag. "I'll help."
"What? You shouldn't, Usopp. You're needed up on deck."
"We made the mess so at least one of us should help clean it up, though I'm sure if you asked Sanji he would leap at the chance. We're friends, so I don't mind." He moves to the window and starts washing the smear. Karmen picks up Luffy's clothes and drops them into the hamper.
"But cleaning is one of the only things I'm good at." She throws a towel over the spill and starts chasing darts across the rolling floor.
"That's not true." He smiles while he scrubs. "The only penmanship that I've ever seen that's as pretty as yours is Kaya's. And I'm envious of the way you swing from the sail ropes. I tried the other day and failed horribly. No one can repair a sail like you do and you bring out some of my best stories. Having you here on this ship keeps me from getting depressed about how weak I am compared to the rest of the guys and you make the best tea. Fighting isn't everything, you know. It's good to have someone on standby to patch us up after a battle. All the small things you do for us really add up."
Karmen puts a free hand to her pink cheek. "Oh dear. If you keep sweet talking me like that, Kaya's going to have a fight on her hands."
"Huh? Why is that?" Usopp wrings his rag over the bucket and moves to clean up the rest of the spill while Karmen begins sweeping the floor.
She laughs softly. "You do have it bad," she teases. "Kaya is a lucky woman. Don't keep her waiting too long, ok? She'll be doing her best as well."
Ship's Log 8: Fishing.
I had a bit of an adventure today. Nami hadn't finished the day's paper yet and Usopp was fishing off the railing. I was bored so I asked to join him. The first fish I caught was as long as my forearm. Sanji praised me and took it to be cleaned. I happily threw out another line. Usopp caught two more fish before I could catch anything else. Luffy smelled our first few fish cooking and started loitering outside the kitchen. I was momentarily distracted as Usopp began reeling in another, so when there was a strong pull on my line I was pulled from the railing and into the ocean.
My hand was tangled in the fishing line, but I was able to surface momentarily. I said something like, "I've got this, I think." Instinct took over from there. I was able to get a good look at the giant bull tuna I had hooked. Luckily the pole Usopp had given me was a sturdy species of bamboo. I pulled myself forward on the fishing line and hooked my feet in front of the fish's fins. I strung the pole through its mouth like reigns and steered it back towards the ship. With a pull of my feet, I forced the fish to veer upward and it leapt from the water. I snapped the line with the quill I had in my belt and let go, yelling for someone to catch me. Four men scrambled to soften the impact, but it ended up being Luffy who nabbed me. He puffed up like a balloon and pulled me in, deflating as I landed. That kid is incredibly squishy.
I couldn't help but laughing at Usopp's face as Luffy rambled on about how awesome that was. "Fish riding is a local sport back home," I explained. I saw Zoro setting his sword down out of the corner of my eye and Sanji put his shoes back on. Apparently both were about to jump in after me. Sanji threw a towel over my head and lectured me about worrying him. Pulling my best Nami, I apologized, puffing out my lip as I untangled my hand. I saw her grinning behind her newspaper as Sanji quickly turned around and groveled for yelling. I think even Zoro snickered.
While I steered Sanji back towards cooking, Luffy had apparently been stretching his arm into the ocean to catch the tuna I had ridden. He abruptly finished Sanji's groveling by tossing the fish at his feet, saying that would be his portion. Sanji gave me one last look and drug the fish off to cook the captain's dinner. I dried myself off, restrung the fishing pole, and cast another line.
Usopp cast his next to mine and says, "Next time you write Tantonia and Kaya, you should include that. They'd never believe it."