The following morning, Momonga felt vastly different, and yet… the world hadn't changed. Nothing had, his bed was the same. His mirror, the floor, the walls. He put on his clothes while Albedo slept, unwilling to wake her for anything, he moved out of the room with stealth and began walking through Nazarick.
It was so early that the halls were empty as the maids had yet to even begin their day, he felt stronger, his body neither tense nor relaxed, more 'ready'. Like he could handle anything.
Everything.
Whatever.
And even more importantly, 'I don't feel like I need to.' That was enough to put a smile on his face. So much so that without even thinking about it, he used his [Gate] spell and opened it to a random point in the world, trusting to his luck to carry him.
For the first time in his entire life, Momonga didn't feel like he had a job to do, a mission to accomplish, he could relax at his ease and not worry about a thing. 'I suppose it helps that some powerful leaders are asleep in my home… you know… maybe that's a good way to go? I've been haphazard about it so far, but what if I'm more deliberate?' He asked himself, and referenced in his mind the rules of his guild.
"Every person must be a functional member of society." He repeated the rule out loud, and then stopped in his tracks when he heard a voice call over to him.
"Are you a judge?" A man asked, and Momonga turned toward the speaker.
"You mean me, yes?" Momonga asked and then wondered briefly, "Where did I end up?"
"Oh, you're one of those wandering judges of the crown. I guess I was right about the clothes." The man said, clearly misunderstanding the answer as an affirmation, and Momonga looked him up and down. He was well dressed in merchant's clothing, a little plump with soft hands, save for the fingertips which were thickly calloused. And save for his thick black beard he might have been the twin of another merchant who stood glaring at him with arms crossed.
Momonga took a look down at his own clothing, his mages robes were black and long, with today's choice of undershirt being white that came up around the visible part of his neck, with fine leather sandals on his feet… 'I suppose this is close to something judges wear here… and I have heard of some countries on Earth who used to have judges that went from place to place hearing cases… I'll look like a fool if I deny it now, like I don't even know what I am.' He sighed more audibly than was prudent.
"I know you've got to probably check in with the House of Law… but this is a short case and we'd rather avoid the long process. If you can settle it now, we'll save your office a lot of time later. We'll even pay you personally, as much as you want. I can, of course, pay more than my," he paused and coughed into his hand, "colleague, here." He waved a hand with casual dismissal toward the dark bearded merchant.
Momonga looked around, his brief tranquility broken, there was no obvious escape as other passersby looked with curiosity at the unusual sight of a 'wandering judge' and the pair of merchants that until he'd come into view, must have been drawing a crowd, or so he concluded. Without even thinking, he used Touch Me's old phrase, "Justice cannot be bid on." He then pointed to a fountain. "I'll sit there and hear you out." Momonga added and with nothing else to draw on, he recalled his time mediating disputes as a guildmaster, and walked to the chosen space away from the side of the city street.
He sat while the fountain behind him bubbled and splashed, the cascading water was calming, and the merchant's reached for their purses.
"One copper coin, each." He said and pointed to the spot beside him. The two gasped, and the crowd, hearing his absurdly low price, began to murmur. "This isn't official after all. I will trust the two of you will abide by my decision. It would look bad if you didn't, while standing in front of all these people and having asked for me yourselves."
The two merchants looked around at the nodding faces of those who had been drawn by the racket, recalling their previous yelling before their new 'judge' came into view. It wasn't hard for Momonga to read their faces now, they were weighing his words, merchants lived and died by their reputations, to have asked and paid for judgment and then reject it would have reflected badly on themselves and their guild.
The two gave a grave nod. "We will abide by the ruling." They said at once and taking out two little copper coins, they each placed it on the fountain beside Momonga, he picked up their coins and gave them a look. 'Baharuth, and this is a big city,' he thought while he looked around at the tall stone buildings and bustling streets, 'I'm probably in Arwintar… well that's what you get Momonga, for not even bothering to specify a location. I'll send a message to Albedo not to worry… just as soon as this is done.'
"Alright, tell me your names and grievance." Momonga said, and then tossed the coins into the water behind him. The coins made a brief 'bloop bloop' sound, and that earned him some more curious stares. 'I tossed them away because I just wanted to know where I was and they're so worthless it wasn't worthwhile to keep them… but… I suppose that must be strange to them. Quick… reason… reason… think…' He racked his brain for a second and muttered quietly, "Why me, when I get home I'm having someone pour me nothing less than all of the wine in Nazarick."
However, that was not what people heard. "Poor men? Oh. For the poor men of the city… public money in the public fountain…"
Momonga jumped on it, "Yes. Throw a coin into a fountain when you make a wish for justice, and the poorest of the people can have a little income from emptying the fountains out. It's a… custom where I'm from."
He cleared his throat before anyone could ask questions and then hastily asked, "Now, gentlemen, your case?"
"I am Harlorad, and I paid for land with a pond on it, intending to use it for fishing. But it has no fish. This man," the black bearded merchant said with a wave of his hand, "refuses to return my money, I even offered to return the land. But he will have none of it."
"I am Samarand, and yes I sold him the land, yes it has a pond, and it did have fish in it. It's not my fault if he fished them all out. Besides, I spent the money already, I don't have it to return to him. It's all tied up in my business."
"Is this true?" Momonga asked, "Did you fish it to the point of emptiness?"
"I did fish, but-" Momonga interrupted him and pointed to a nearby peasant, pulling out a coin, Momonga asked…
"Are you thirsty? I'm thirsty."
The two merchants nodded, "A little…"
"Three beers, and hurry. I'm parched." Momonga said and held the coin out. The curious peasant snatched the coin out of Momonga's hand, rushed into the nearest tavern, and returned a moment later with three mugs frothing with foam and amber colored beer.
"To a just ruling?" He suggested a toast, which the plaintiff, defendant, quickly raised their mugs.
They drank, gulping the mugs down, he then said to the waiting peasant, "When you return these mugs, please ask for my coin back."
The crowd looked confused, as did the two merchants. "After all, I paid for three beers, and these are clearly just empty mugs." Momonga said matter-of-factly.
Jaws dropped as his point hit home. "Unless he promised you it was filled with fish, you paid only for the pond, and if you fished it to empty, you can't then return it 'used' and ask for your money back. Judgment in favor of Samarand. The sale is final."
The two merchants showed their thoughts on that quite clearly, but the logic was unassailable.
"Can you hear my case next?! I can't afford to go to the courthouse!" A man with large, thick arms and bearing the tools of a smith on a belt around his waist protested.
Momonga quickly relayed his message back to Albedo, and shrugged. "Why not? What's a little time?"
It was a nice enough day out, the breeze was calm and the sun shining, and that had been fun, reminiscent of his time arbitrating loot drops among his guildmates.
The absurdly low cost of his judgment was enough to draw plaintiff and defendant alike to the fountain in short order, and Momonga heard his next case.
"I am Sakar the smith, and I paid for the repair of my shop by the carpenter, but in the doing he accidentally doused my forge. I had to buy new coals in order to work that day or I would have lost a great deal more money. Buying it out of the blue and off schedule costs more than on a scheduled cycle!"
"I am Torald the carpenter, and I wouldn't have doused his forge if the water had not been so close to where I had to work, he should have moved it."
Momonga rubbed his chin and looked back and forth between the two, they were dirty sorts, clearly men of their trades, each one marked by their work, with heavy calloused hands for the carpenter and ample small burn marks on the arms of the smith, where the former was thin and sturdy, the other was thickly muscled as any knight. If there was a fraud or scam or scheme here, Momonga could not see it.
Finally he asked, "When the doused coal is dried, can it still be used?"
"Yes." The smith answered with some reluctance. "But that takes all day at least! I had to buy more on the spot!"
"Then in my judgment, you both share some fault. You knew the risk in keeping water there, and where he would have to work. He did the job he was asked, but at the same time he could have asked for it to be moved, or even moved it himself. Moreover, the doused coal is reusable, meaning your total coal supply is not lost. Torald will pay the difference between the cost of the new coal and its regular scheduled cost to cover for the unexpected expense, but not one copper more."
He then tossed their two coppers over his shoulder to fall into the fountain, and the pair went on their way, reasonably satisfied.
It was after several such cases that a carriage came to a stop, and Momonga watched a somewhat plump, even overweight man being nearly out with his wife, a thin woman of greater height, only for both to be quickly followed by a daughter, who strangely enough though she was clearly the offspring of both, was dressed like neither. She wore adventurer's clothing, far from the best of it too, and her face was red, filled with fury.
She stalked through the crowd which knew well enough to part for a woman armed with a magic staff.
"Come back! We should just go to the regular royal court, not be heard by some country bumpkin, a lowly wandering judge!" Her portly father shouted and waddled after her as fast as he could.
"Good sir," Momonga said cheerily, "if you cannot afford a copper coin, I assure you, you cannot afford the court!"
Onlookers laughed, and thus challenged, the noble turned red in the face and as if to prove himself, he held up a coin of gold.
"You said we should go to the judge! So here we are!" The young girl shouted, "You're not a noble anymore, father, so you don't get to go to the front of the line! Take what you can get!"