Nami takes a newspaper from a bird and Usopp gives it Karmen's letter to her father and a coin. "Doesn't Karmen usually send those out herself?" she asks. "She was still in bed when I got up. Do you think she's sick?"
"She's usually up before any of us and she's been dying to do something for days now. Why would she suddenly…?" Usopp starts with realization. "Nami. What day is it?" Nami shows him the date on the paper. "I knew it."
"What is it, Usopp?"
"Today's the two year anniversary of Karmen's shipwreck. She was nearly catatonic last year."
"Karmen can't be catatonic!" Sanji wails. "I'll make her a grand feast that will lift her spirits."
"She didn't eat a thing last year."
"Let's have a party to cheer her up! She likes to dance, right?" Luffy contributes. "Then she'll be hungry and eat plenty. I want lots of meat!"
"Her ankle's still hurt," Chopper says. "She won't be able to dance."
"She was saying that she wanted to grow apple trees," Zoro muses.
"Where are we going to get apple trees in the middle of the ocean?" Sanji yells.
"I was just saying she wanted some!" Zoro screams back.
"Do you think she saw all of her shipmates devoured by sea monsters?" Robin asks. Everyone stares at her.
"Excuse me, everyone." Everyone turns to find Karmen standing in the doorway. She's wrapped in a blanket and her hair is untouched from her restless sleep the night before. Her eyes are red and puffy. "Do we have any candles or incense?" Sanji and Usopp run to the storeroom. Boxes slam and things are thrown, but none of the requested items are found. "I see," she says numbly. "I'm going to go take a bath."
The crew watches as she limps back down the stairs. Sanji's hands ball into fists. "She's beautiful, even when her heart is aching. As a man I will do whatever it takes to make her smile today."
"We passed an Autumn island a few hours ago," Robin says.
"Why didn't you wake me?!" Nami asks.
"There wasn't much shopping."
"Oh. That's fine, then."
"Help me with something, twisty brow." Zoro meets his gaze levelly.
"What did you have in mind?"
A few minutes later the two men jump into the ocean and swim off in the direction the ship had come. "We could have just turned the ship around..." Nami says, shaking her head. "Right. We're going to make sure Karmen doesn't have to lift a finger today. Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Robin, I'm leaving the cleaning in your care. Sanji left soup cooking, so we can eat that later."
"What are you going to do?" Usopp asks.
"I'm going to take care of my roommate."
Nami steps into the bathroom. "How's your ankle?"
"Fine." Karmen sits in the bath, head resting on the rim. Her hair is damp, but it's obvious that she's only been sitting in the tub.
"Usopp told us about the shipwreck. Is it ok with you that we know?" She kneels down and starts washing Karmen's hair.
"It's fine."
"Were the candles and incense for your bath?"
Karmen shakes her head. "I was wanting to hold a small memorial tonight. We… our ship went down just before midnight."
"How long were you in the water?"
"Three days."
Nami's hands still. "That long? Were you alone the entire time?"
"There was a bear… fish that I rode until the ship found me."
"You road a bear fish for three days? Didn't it try to eat you?"
"Actually, he gave me apples."
Nami remembers what Zoro had said. "Is that why you like apples so much?"
Karmen thinks for a moment. "I think it started with him. If it wasn't for that bear, I would be dead. I'm still so weak. I can't protect anyone." She lifts her charred ankle out of the water and examines the peeling skin.
"Hey now." Nami smiles softly at her. "If I can fight so can you. You took out that bounty hunter and the goat man, right? And I wasn't able to face Eneru like you did. You're not as weak as you feel, and you've got me and the rest of the crew for everything else. And if something happens to all of us, you seem to have a knack for taming fish."
Karmen sinks a little lower in the water. She has a knack for riding fish, that's for sure, but the only water she had come in contact that night was the rain. She hates lying to the crew, now more than ever, but today was not the day to tell the truth. The truth is too painful for her to voice as the eleventh hour slowly approaches. Today is for the friend left behind. If the crew finds out who she is, they are likely to leave her at the next island. She needs to at least get past the next Red Line.
She feels herself being drawn to her red outfit. As the Straw Hat secretary she is free from all the burdens. If no one sees her face, she can't be identified. If she can't be identified, she can't bring trouble on the crew. If no trouble comes, she can prepare for it in her own time. As the secretary, there is no Gallowcomb Jenevive Willow Karmen. Tomorrow, she will try the Angel's Trumpet again. "I won't let anything happen to you."
"That's the Karmen I know." Nami hugs Karmen's bare shoulders before starting the rinse. Karmen finishes the bath and lets Nami dry and style her hair as she treats and binds her ankle. "I've got a cute pair of sandals I've been saving. Your boot would easily fit around them. What do you say, want to wear them? We could count treasure together. That always cheers me up."
"Thank you, Nami," Karmen says. "But I think I'd like to stay barefoot today. There's something I'd like to embroider."
The crew sets Karmen up in the dining room with her embroidery basket and a whole pot of tea. Chopper even threw in the last of her bloodroot. Karmen felt this was very fitting. By this time next year, she would either be a poisons expert with answers or she would be dead. Taking a square of fabric, she began her needlework.
Luffy complains loudly out on deck about how hungry he is, dropping an armful of clutter onto the deck and breaking a few things. Nami punches him and tells him to fix himself something to eat. Usopp walked by with a small load of wood and nails. "Where's Sanji? I thought he'd be cooking lunch by now."
"Sanji and Zoro went for a swim. They'll be back later, if they don't kill each other first. There's soup if you're hungry or I could make you something," he says. "Your tea is cold, too. I'll heat that up."
"I'm not hungry," she admits. "It was just… quieter than I've gotten used to."
"If it's noise you need, I'll sit in the back and work on this." He sits near his scrap pile and starts hammering boards together. A year ago Karmen would have found the steady rhythm ear piercing, but now she finds it drawing her out of her own head. Her hands move to the rhythm of the hammer and she finds the energy to drink a cup of tea. The bloodroot doesn't even make her feel sick anymore, even at five grains a day. She wonders if this will destroy her internal organs, but then she looks at the image appearing in the swatch of cloth and decides it doesn't matter. This is how she'll fight. Usopp notices the improvements and smiles as he works. When he has made a small object he stretches and leans over the table to look at the embroidery. "Eyes?"
"I had a friend… on the ship. Pierce. He had beautiful gray eyes. Every time I felt nervous or scared he would force me to look at him until I calmed down. He could even do it from across the room. I'd known him since I was a child. We did everything together."
"What happened to him?"
"He was injured in the wreck. He gave me that look as I was being carried away. I keep hoping he's alive, but there were a lot of angry monsters there and he was bleeding a lot."
Usopp sits across from her. "You made it, so there's a chance he did too, right?"
"I was rescued and spent three days following a current until I was picked up by a ship. There was nothing around the wreck itself. I've kept my eyes and ears open, but I haven't heard of any other survivors in two years."
"Wherever he is, he'd be happy that you remember him so fondly. Did you love him?"
Karmen gives a soft smile and puts the final stitch in the second eye. "Not in the way that you love Kaya. He was like a brother to me. Kind of like us."
He grins. "We are together a lot, aren't we?"
"Yeah. I feel like joining the crew brought us closer. Do you miss the village?"
"All the time," he admits. "Onion, Carrot, and Pepper must be taller by now, and Kaya should be much healthier. I miss sitting outside her window and telling her stories."
"And getting chased off by the security?"
"That too," he laughs. "You know, I've never heard you say much about anything before the shipwreck. Do you miss your island?"
Karmen looks down at the neat pair of eyes on the swatch in her hands. They don't do Pierce justice but they're enough for now. Her core warms at the memories of her time spent with him. "I would compete in fish riding competitions every summer. Pierce and I would train all spring and in the fall we would watch great fish migrations as they went back to their spawning grounds. It could get dangerous. There were Neptunians and large predators around the island, but if you were skilled enough and had a good fish, you could out maneuver them."
"Did you ever win?"
"A few times." She smiles. "I trained on a Undulate Ray once. I named her Parvati. She was ten feet across and twenty feet long, if you included her tail. That fish could glide through the reefs like none other. She had the prettiest markings on her back. Father wanted to eat her after we won in celebration, but I made sure she was set free. She went off with the winter migrations and didn't come back. I've never seen another ray like her."
"Your dad wanted to eat the fish you won on?"
"It was an old tradition that we don't really practice anymore. I convinced him that she could go off and have babies that we could race when they grew up." Karmen pulls out her red outfit and begins embroidering the ends of the sashes. By the time evening comes around she has the outlines of two Neptunian eels.
"Luffy! Pull this stuff on board will you?"
"I'm starving! You took too long!"
"Sounds like Zoro and Sanji are back," Usopp murmurs. "I wonder what they brought."
Karmen sets down her work and follows him outside. Chopper runs by them with towels as the men climb over the railing. Along with a box of candles and incense, Luffy lifts two trees heavy with fruit on board. Karmen is crying by the time the two men sit down to dry themselves off. They rest against the bulwark and watch her reaction with satisfied smirks on their faces. "You guys got me apple trees." She steps forward and touches one of the still green fruits admiringly. She leans her cheek against the bark of one. "I love them. Thank you so much. Though, to be completely honest, I'm a little impressed that you two stopped fighting long enough to get them."
Usopp and Chopper plant them with Nami's tangerines, one on each side. When done, Usopp grabs the object he had built earlier. It is a small boat onto which he places a candle and two sticks of incense. "To guide lost souls."
Karmen gives the three men a hug, not caring if they are soaking wet. Sanji's eyes go heart shaped as he goes to cook a large evening meal for the crew. Robin lines the bulwark with candles and sets bowls of incense on the four sides of the ship, ready to light when Karmen gives the signal. She returns to the table and writes four names on a small scrap of paper: Godwin, Pierce, Winston, and Dr. Saaresto. On a slightly larger piece of paper she writes five names: Gallowcomb Jenevive Willow Karmen, Gallowcomb Antwanette Jenevive Willow, Gallowcomb Edward Herbert Ikaika, Davenwell Ludovic, and Itluk Baldwin. She folds each scrap carefully and puts them into her pocket. She picks up her needlework again and begins adding details to one of the Neptunians.
"That's pretty good," Nami says. "Where did you learn?"
"Godwin," she answers, remembering her dead butler. "He taught me how to brew tea, sew a seam, needlework, and how not to get eaten while fish riding."
"One of those things sounds a little different than the others," Usopp comments.
"He was a champion fish rider when he was younger and he attended each race I competed in. He was a great tailor, too. He learned from his uncle Winston who ran the best shop in town. He would always give me discounts on shoes." Nami's eyes twinkle at the thought. Karmen sets the sash in her basket as Sanji places the food on the table and everyone sits down to eat. He makes sure Karmen has fresh tea and serves cake to follow the meal. Usopp is pleased to see that Karmen eats everything placed in front of her. Sanji and Chopper insist on doing the dishes, so Karmen sits under her new apple trees embroidering until the sun sets.
"We can eat those apples once they're ripe, right?" Luffy asks.
"Only the ones I give you," Karmen says. "I'm going to poison some."
"But we can eat them, right?"
"Only if you want to die, idiot," Zoro says. He looks at the secretary. "I thought you were kidding when you said that before."
"We've had a lot of enemies that are fond of apples," Karmen says. "I like the idea of weaponized food." The last of the sun's light is disappearing on the horizon. The moon is half full and the stars are showing up one by one.
"I haven't seen you pick up any nightshade."
"Hemlock, cyanide, nightshade, and arsenic are boring poisons. What's the point of an instant, traceable death? Even you don't kill most of the people you fight." Karmen looks out at the Western ocean, mind in the past and face void of emotion. There are dark clouds building and a steady rain falling far away. "I take antidotes into battle with me for a reason. I'm so tired of meaningless death." Zoro watches her for a minute before flicking her forehead. "Ow! What was that for?"
"Stop making that face. It pisses me off."
Karmen rubs her forehead, confused.
Chopper drops the anchor and Sanji begins lighting the candles. "This would make for a romantic evening if we weren't memorializing people who suffered terribly while dying," Robin states.
"You always say the nicest things," Nami mutters.
"I'd put up with the most morbid of conversations to have a candlelit dinner alone with you," Sanji chimes in.
"Maybe someday." Robin smiles. Sanji nearly swoons.
Thunder rolls over the water from the West. Karmen shivers and grips the trunk of her tree until the sound goes away. "What time is it?" she asks.
Nami checks her watch by candlelight. "Almost ten."
"We can light the incense now." As the bowls billow into smoke and more thunder carries over the waves, Karmen does her best to force the image of smoke pouring out of the barrel of a pistol from her mind. Instead, she looks at the embroidered gray eyes in her hands. They don't make her feel like Pierce would, but they recall the memory of his steady gaze which does. When she is calm, she rolls the swatch tightly and ties it with a red string, placing it on the small boat Usopp made. "I suppose I should say a few words, shouldn't I?
"I had many friends who were lost two years ago. The storm had gone on for a long time, but the ship went down quickly. There were several that I could not reach and many that disappeared into that dark sea. For a long time I felt guilty that I had survived while so many perished. There were better people than me who are now gone forever. But today, I am glad I survived. There were some moments that I thought that I too would be consumed, but by grasping the faintest thread of hope, I was able to make it here and become a part of this crew. I am extremely grateful for that. With the smallest of gestures, you all keep me afloat." Lighting the candle and incense, she places the smaller paper from her pocket with the rolled cloth and burns the other.
"What is that?" Luffy asks.
"It's a list of names of those who are gone forever from our lives, but ever present in our minds. It's a custom we had at funerals back home." Her parents never practiced it, but she did. Pierce would bring her lists of names week after week and she would burn them from her balcony in full view of the fields and ocean. It was her gesture to all those who were suffering. Those who were lost were gone, but not forgotten. It was also a prayer that the suffering would end, but at the time she had seen no way to fix anything.
Robin makes a standing loop with hands and lowers Karmen and the little boat to sea level. Karmen places the boat in the water and sends it to find its way in the grand ocean. The current finds it and carries it westward, towards the storm. "Stay afloat, little boat," she whispers. "I'll be there soon."
Instead of following the others to bed, Karmen sits under her apple trees, listening to the thunder. She bites her lip until the fear is gone. Sanji stands on the bow, smoking while keeping watch for the night. He snuffs the candles and lets the incense burn out. As she starts to fall asleep she makes up her mind. "The next time we can all sit down with some tea and have a quiet evening together, I think I'll tell you all about my home."