Happy Christmas time to you all!

Just not to break any rules I decided to change the rating to T - just to make sure that it will not insult anyone as it may turn out to be darker than the beginning :) I hope you like this story. The end of this story was already written, but I am deciding whether I should make it short or elaborate on some stories a little further :) If you like it, let me know, I am sooo happy about those reviews I got so far! :)

Enjoy reading! :)

The café was small and cosy. They sat down at the table in the corner. They were not seen from the street, and they could monitor the whole place. Their senses were on alert even though they were not in action. When a waitress asked them what they wanted, they almost jumped up. It took them a while before they started talking. They were so accustomed to the war zone, that their nerves were still alert, not letting them enjoy the quiet and safe moment.

"Tell me about your brother," said Steve softly. She looked at him in surprise. When she thought about it, she did not talk about Michael with anyone since he died. She took a deep breath and started talking about the most important man in her life. About the man thanks to whom she decided to join the army.

"He was four years older. When we were children, we always played together. He once told me that he wanted a brother because he did not know if he could play fight with a girl, but I enjoyed slaying dragons more than playing with dolls anyway. Our mother was crossed with us so very often, but we did not mind. Our father was most often in the Army so he did not see us very often. When he came home, he was only paying attention to my brother and he managed to ignore the fact that his daughter is not behaving like an exemplary girl, but I did not mind. Even though the world did not like to see it, Michael treated me as an equal. When he trained for the army, I joined him. He taught me how to fight and in the end, before he was recruited, I beat him almost every time. He found courses for code-breakers for me because he was afraid that I would not be accepted into the army in an ordinary way. My parents pressed me into a different career, but when I enrolled, they gave up. They thought that I would end up in an office, playing with the least important codes and then marry. And it almost happened. I met Fred. He was nice, charming and I … I fell in love with him. He did not say anything straight, but he changed me. Step by step I started thinking about being a housewife, about quitting the job… And then Michael recommended me to the spy program. I listened to Michael and turned the opportunity off. The last time I saw Michael, he was… he was not angry with me. But he was disappointed. He did not understand what had happened that I stopped slaying dragons, as he called it. And then he … Well, my parents got the message, and I was told that he died. I made up my mind and decided to leave him and go to the SOE."

"What about your parents? Did they agree with your decision?"

"Oh, no, not at all. The moment I told them about my plans, my father told me that if I leave, he will not speak with me ever again. It took him over a year to start talking to me and I think that he only talks to me because he thinks that I work in the office in London."

"How can he think that? Are you not writing to him? It must have the stamp…"

"Steve, you forget about my position in the army. I am a spy. Every time I send a letter, they open it in London, put it in a new envelope and send it from there. According to my file, I am working in London. Even though my father is General, he can't trace me. Of course, he might come to the office to check on me, but then they will tell him that I was sent to another city, or they just make up an excuse for me. Only those who are part of these special operations know about my whereabouts."

To say that Steve was surprised, would be an underestimation. He was shocked and felt a strong feeling of admiration all at once. He knew that it must have been hard for her to become a spy, but he has not thought about being a spy at all since now.

"That… that must be hard," he said, feeling silly about such a remark.

"That is not the hardest thing about being a spy."

"And what is it?"

"That you can't bond with anyone. You can't have even friends. Once you are on a mission, you are a new person, and you must not let your personality show. When you become friends with someone, you are in a bigger danger. It might not let you do what you are supposed to do… when you have feelings for someone else." Her voice trailed off. Steve examined her for a moment and even though he supposed that he knew the answer, he asked her.

"What did happen?"

"I…" she started and swallowed hard. "I got married."

"What? You are married?" He spluttered his coffee.

"Of course, I am not!" she retorted defensively. "But… during one mission, I got married. I did not use my name, so the wedding was not legal, and it has no validity."

"What did happen?" Steve repeated his question.

"He was killed two days after." She said bitterly.

"Did you… did you love him?"

"I did not love him. But I also did not hate him. And that was something that made it almost impossible for me to act as an agent. I left him behind me. It was my task, and I did it. It was not fair to him. He was not evil, he was just… he just trusted his parents who were."

"You mustn't blame yourself for that!"

"Mustn't I? He trusted me and I betrayed him. He believed me to love him. And I just used him to get the intel. It was not fair. The war is not fair. But it is also not black and white. And sometimes you must hurt people you do not want to… but that's the true colour of the war. Is not it?"

There was silence. The waitress brought them their coffees and Peggy started playing with her little spoon, not allowing herself to look him in eyes.

"What did Phillips say?"

"Oh, he was so angry. He was screaming his head off. I was just standing in the middle of the room, listening to him and then something just clicked in my head, and I started defending myself. He was not trained as a spy so he did not know what spies can do to get the intel… there are different rules for us and for soldiers, you see. He was shocked at first. I think that I was the first subordinate who screamed at him back. He saw that I was on the edge of my nerves and in the end, he did not punish me for my behaviour. However, he decided that I should avoid action for some time, and he put me into the Military training camp Lehigh." She smiled and looked at him for the first time since she started talking.

"It was a punishment?"

"It was meant to be," she admitted. "But then … thanks to my intel, someone brought up Dr. Erskine. He wanted to see me and thank me. We started talking and before I knew it, he told Phillips that he wanted me to become a part of the project Rebirth."

He was just staring at her. There were so many coincidences that led them to now and here… he knew it was silly to consider it anything special, because who were they to the universe, but he felt lucky that he had the chance to meet her. He wanted her to relax and sip a coffee with him. He thought that they may chat a little and have a nice time, forgetting about the war just for a few minutes. Instead, he listened to the confession that he did not expect. However hard it was for her to tell him, when she finished, she seemed a little more relaxed. Maybe, he thought, she needed to tell someone. It is hard to carry a burden you can't share with anyone. And if even her parents do not know about her actual job, he doubted that she is in contact with her friends from home. When he thought about that, he was not sure if she had any female friends in the army, because there were only a few of them and none of them were in the camp they were currently staying in. They stayed another hour, sipping their coffee. When there was no excuse left, they stood, paid for the drinks, and went to their car.

When they arrived, they saw an extraordinary vehicle parked near the main tent.

"Howard," Peggy confirmed Steve's thoughts. They entered the tent where Howard, Phillips, Jarvis and the rest of the Commandos were sitting at the table.

"Finally," said Phillips when he saw them. "Did he tell you anything useful?"

"He confirmed that they used those microchips. He also said that they worked pretty well and that some of our people were brainwashed." Answered Peggy.

"Yes, Stark guessed that too, that's why he is here," Phillips explained Stark's presence.

"It's not about brainwashing. You can't brainwash someone just because of the microchip. It only helps it." Started Howard.

"So, how does it really work?"

"It may cause electroshock in your brain. It is nothing big, it will not kill you or anything, but it can… speed up the process of the brainwashing."

"For what reason would YOU, Howard, of all people, create a thing like that?" Peggy asked him incredulously.

"Our army wanted that. Or they wanted something that would help them during the interrogation. It did not work, it should have been destroyed, but then Hydra found out about it and stole them."

"How can we find these chips?"

"Everyone who was imprisoned would have to report himself and be checked. There must be two stations, however. The first one here, in Europe, and the second one in the US. I am leaving for the US tomorrow. That means that Jarvis will stay here with you. He knows how it works and he will help you."

"What if we find anyone with the chip?"

"You will imprison him and wait for me. It will not hurt them. And the removal is not crucial anymore when they are not in the contact with our enemies. What I am trying to say is, that even though I can remove them from their brain, it would not help them to become themselves again. They would need the psychiatrist anyway."

Phillips nodded and turned to the Howling Commando.

"I know it is the type of action you are here for, but it will be your highest priority for the following weeks. We must find out whether we can trust our people or not. Mr Jarvis, as I understand it, you can build the machine Mr Stark is talking about. You and Agent Carter will be responsible for the scientific part. The rest of you will help. I bet that if someone was brainwashed, they would try to fight their way out. So, get ready for tomorrow when we start this operation." Colonel Phillips stood up and left the tent. He was sure that he would not like what would come, but he was ready to face it. And, as he said before, he trusted the Howling Commandos.

I am preparing a new set of stories about Peggy's experience when being a spy. The situation when she married a Russian guy will be part of it as well. :)