Tony couldn't help it. He laughed. He'd never been one for tact and laughing at inopportune moments was something none of his team members-ex team members would have been surprised by. He can immediately tell that his reaction wasn't expected but when has Tony really ever done the expected thing? He could be extremely volatile, unpredictable, almost unstable; it was something he and Pepper often argued on.

There was that to consider and it was a really stupid name. Dumbledore had spoken it with such a somber tone like he was supposed to take it seriously, how could he not laugh? May shot him a look and he did his best to appear like he was taking it seriously.

"Sorry." He held his hands up in defeat. "It's just a really stupid name." Tony defended himself. Everyone was staring at him, even Harold obviously thought he was being insensitive.

"You may be amused by his name, Mr Stark, but I assure you, his crimes are no laughing matter." Dumbledore said in that same somber tone.

"Oh, I'm not saying they are." Tony stated flippantly. "I'm sure he's a grade A asshole, but you said very few in the wizarding community will say his name and that, to me, is just hilarious when he's really going around calling himself 'Lord Voldemort'." Fudge winced. "The wizarding world is run by adults, right? I assume? You're not secretly five, are you? Because honestly, that would explain a lot." Tony remarked. Fudge had the audacity to look offended.

"It's a fair question, you did admit to not knowing about the Geneva Convention." He pointed out with a shrug. Fudge opened his mouth to protest but Tony went on. "Anyways, why haven't you sent wizard cops to deal with it? You obviously think this guy's bad. So why put up with it?"

"Voldemort is currently not in power." Dumbledore answered, his tone not wavering in the slightest. "His body was destroyed the night he killed young Harry's parents. He tried to do the same to Harry but due to Lily Potter's sacrifice, his curse backfired."

"I'm still not getting why this guy's still a problem. If he's not dead then he's bound to be weakened then why don't you do something now rather than just wait for him to come back. That's the fear here, right? That he's gonna make a comeback? Well then you don't let him. You cut off his options, you finish the job. You don't let a dictator get back in power." Tony said firmly, his tone sharp and angry. How had these people managed to build an actual government when they shove their head in the sand at the first sign of opposition?

"I'm afraid it's not that simple. Voldemort, while weakened, is still dangerous." Dumbledore explained. "And even now, many of his followers remain faithful to him, he had some rather extremist views when it came to muggles and wizards born from muggles that his followers agreed with."

"Oh, so he started a racist cult. Do you people pay attention to anything in muggle history?" Tony demanded. He was met with a silence that told him all he needed to know.

"We try to pay attention to some." Fudge tried to claim but the truth was all too obvious at this point.

"Just not when it matters, right? It doesn't affect your little community so it's not important? Except that it is, and the muggle world has dealt with this kinda shit before. If he has followers then you shun them, arrest them for hate crimes, you make sure they know those beliefs are not to be tolerated." Tony told them, still in the back of his mind, trying to work out how this government even worked.

"Yes well, the problem is those beliefs are tolerated among much of the wizarding community-not within the ministry of course. But, behind closed doors… can't control what people say in their own homes, now can we?." Fudge attempted to point out. Tony snapped his gaze to him, eyes narrowing sharply.

"I shouldn't be surprised by that considering child abuse seems to be a foreign concept to you, but I'm gonna go ahead and let you in on a little secret. If his views are typically tolerated among your community then your problem isn't Voldemort-" Fudge winced. "-seducing people over to the darkside. It's the entire fucking system."

"How dare you presume to know how our system works." Fudge puffed his chest out.

"I don't." Tony admitted. And then paused. "I really don't." He added backhandedly. "But I'm getting the feeling it's very anti-muggle. You barged in here, to Harold's office-the Muggle Prime minister- while he was in a meeting and assumed you could-what was the word? Obliviate May and my memories with no questions asked. Your whole attitude says you think we're beneath you and that, to me, speaks volumes about your government and I gotta tell you, it's not saying anything good."

"But I'm not here to talk about politics." Tony quickly shifted gears. "I'm here to pick up a kid's travel documents so May can take him home. And hey, If he needs protection, who better than the Avengers?"

"I'm afraid you're not not fully comprehending the power that Voldemort possesses." Dumbledore stated calmly. "You seem to have gotten off topic." Tony just shrugged.

"I get that bit, that he's powerful-but I know an actual god and a guy you don't want to make angry, a synthezoid, and a high ranking military officer." He paused, an uncomfortable silence settling for a moment. "And uh… super soldier and some super spies Oh, and a young lady that can tear a person's mind to shreds within seconds."

Dumbledore frowned in consideration, something Harry hadn't really expected. When he was given the chance, he was going to have to learn more about The Avengers.

"It's not that I don't think you're capable Mr Stark, But the blood wards are the best protection Harry has from Voldemort's followers. They can't even touch him but only if he's able to call his mother's sister's house his home."

"Yeah, about that. If they're really that flimsy then they're likely already broken." Tony pointed out. The old wizard's expression didn't portray much but it was clear he was waiting on the man to elaborate.

"One, Petunia Dursley clearly has no desire to protect Harry since she's not defending him from her husband. That, or she's just as much of an abuser as he is. Or both. Two, they already signed the papers so in their mind, Harry moved out of their house so I believe, by your rules, that means he can no longer call that place home." Tony reasoned. Harry felt suddenly dizzy again and was glad he was sitting in a chair. Tony was right, if they had already signed him away they weren't expecting him back. He was free. He was really free.

"And as a warning, you try and undo the legal procedures I went through to get him rehomed with someone that actually gives a damn about his general well being, I'll make good on the threat to sue them. The papers I had my lawyers draw up to scare them are very real. He can't call his mom's sister's house his home if they don't even have a home." Tony threatened. Fudge looked like he'd swallowed a frog and glanced at Dumbledore who also looked displeased by the statement. He turned his attention to Harry, his blue eyes still twinkling kindly.

"Well Harry, it seems as though you have a choice." The man told him seriously. Harry swallowed and nodded, not wanting to disappoint Dumbledore but also not wanting to go back to Privet Drive for any reason.

"What about his education, though? You can't expect to teach him everything he needs." Fudge pointed out, interrupting Harry's thought process.

"I think you're both thinking about this wrong. We're not on opposite sides here." Tony reasoned carefully.

"We are, quite literally, on opposite sides, Mr Stark." Fudge pointed out. Tony just shook his head.

"We're not though. You're both after his best interest-or at least the Headmaster seems to think he is. So are May and I. You want him to go to school, right? We want that too. Harry's already asked if he can go back to Hogwarts and May and I are on board with that. What we're not on board with is him being put back in a clearly unsafe household."

"And don't you dare try and tell us he's safe there because I think we established that he's not." May cut in with a sharp tone. "They called him a burden and Marge implied they should have drowned him. Petunia may be his blood relative but those people aren't his family." She insisted. "A family fights to protect one another."

"Please, Mrs Parker, you misunderstand." Dumbledore tried to calm her. "I'm only saying that the charm I placed on him only remains active-"

"I know what you're trying to say, and I'm telling you blood has nothing to do with a desire to protect. I have another nephew that's not blood related to me but if you think I don't care about him as much as I would a biological child then you and I are gonna have a disagreement." May snapped.

"I want to go with them." Harry blurted out before he could stop himself. All eyes snapped to him, even the muggle prime minister and suddenly he felt very small. "I-er.. I know what's at stake and I-I understand, I do. But last summer they-they tried to starve me when they found out I wasn't allowed to do magic outside of school. They knew I couldn't defend myself against them and I-Please professor. I don't want to go back."

May pulled him into a tight hug and he held onto her tight, once again grateful for all her support. How could he choose to go back to that when he was being offered this? She muttered something into his hair that he shouldn't have had to defend himself from them. A heavy silence settled over the group. Tony was clenching and unclenching his left hand, a slight tremor could be seen in his wrist.

"S-surely they didn't try to hurt you though…" Fudge tried to find some kind of silver lining. Harry just swallowed and wouldn't look at the man.

"What kind of idiot are you?" May snapped at the Minister of Magic. "Starving a child is harming them. It can stunt a child's growth, it can lead to all sorts of complications with malnutrition and if it gets bad enough, the organs start to shut down. Don't you think organ failure might be harmful?"

"I merely meant that they hadn't raised a hand to him, have they, Harry?" Fudge pressed. Harry still didn't answer but apparently that was enough of an answer for Fudge to start to see the full picture and a small 'oh..' escaped from him.

"You said you knew that his treatment by the Dursleys was, quote; 'less than ideal.'" Tony pointed to Dumbledore. "So did you know about this? About just how bad it was?" Harry couldn't help it, he glanced up at the man.

"...yes." Dumbledore finally admitted. May started to get out of her chair and Harry feared she might try to punch Dumbledore like she'd done Marge. Tony must have had the same concern because he held a hand up to indicate she should stay in her seat.

"And you just, what? Thought that was acceptable?" He asked.

"You must understand my options were limited." The man tried to plead his case but May wasn't hearing it.

"I've heard your options and I disagree. You should have intervened the second you thought something was amiss. You could have brought him to live with you since you know so much about this. The 'protection' you gave him means jackshit if his 'family' can still hurt him." She said forcefully. "Abuse escalates. It always escalates and eventually the kid ends up in the emergency department or worse, dead."

Dumbledore considered her words, May glaring daggers at him before he made an attempt to soothe her anger.

"I can see you feel very strongly about this and since Mr Stark has all his contingencies in place, I suppose we should leave it up to Harry." The man offered and then turned his gaze to him.

"Me?" Harry blinked. He'd already said multiple times he wanted to go with May and Mr Stark. Why did he feel like they weren't listening to him?

"Harry, you must really think about this. If you go with them, your mother's sacrifice won't be able to protect you anymore." Dumbledore explained. Harry felt a lump suddenly forming in the back of his throat. He'd lose his mother's protection which was a very compelling argument to just stay but May and Tony were right, his mother's sacrifice probably didn't mean much if their own flesh and blood could just do the job for Voldemort. He didn't even want to think about what Vernon would do to him if he ended up back at their doorstep.

"Yeah, maybe don't try to emotionally manipulate him into making the choice you want him to." Tony spoke up, voice hard and cold. Was Dumbledore really trying to manipulate him or was he just trying to make sure Harry knew what was at stake?

"I-I already said, didn't I?" Harry found his voice. "I want to go with Mr Stark and May." He repeated. "I can't go back there professor, I just can't. Not when I'm so close to-" He stopped himself from saying that he'd finally be free, fearing that might sound just a little dramatic.

"We're going to allow this then?" Fudge asked, turning to Dumbledore, still sounding a little miffed at the whole situation. In fairness, Tony had threatened the man and asked him if he was five.

"If you don't, I'll send the police after these Dursleys." Jones threatened. Tony, who was standing near him at this point, clapped him on the stumbled.

"I don't see that we have a choice." Dumbledore told the man. "Harry's already made up his mind on this and Mr Stark has been very thorough." There was a tone of disapproval in his voice but Harry felt a weight lift off his chest and sank back down into his chair. He was going. He was really getting to leave the Dursleys.

Forever.

"We'll be in touch of course, we'll have to work out how to get Harry to and from school and get him his supplies for the year. He can expect his list at the end of July." Dumbledore stated.

"Yeah, I already got some ideas about that-tell me about how you travel through a fireplace." Tony pointed at Fudge who was still looking rather uncomfortable.

Harry couldn't believe it- he was on a jet. He wondered what Mr Weasley would think about this-or any wizard. He found himself wondering how international travel even worked in the wizarding world. Ron had mentioned his brother worked in Egypt and until now, Harry hadn't really thought much of it. How did Bill even get there? Somehow, he doubted if it was by jet.

He'd been ushered through customs and everyone at the airport seemed to know who Tony Stark was. The employees met his every request and got them through the line faster than Harry thought should have been possible considering the long lines of people they just passed by. He didn't think about it too much though because now he was on a jet- A private jet, he'd been told, embossed with the name 'Stark Industries' on the sides. Tony and May had helped him get his stuff situated and stored away and then instructed him to take his seat.

He wanted to explore the jet but they were adamant he stay seated until they at least reached altitude. Whatever that meant. Harry wanted to move around though, he wanted to look at everything, to see what every single button did or to just dance in excitement because he was free. He was really going to New York.

"Okay Fri, we're good to go. Take us up." Tony instructed, although Harry wasn't sure who he was instructing.

"Yes, boss." A female voice answered and the plane started to move.

"Oh! I forgot to introduce you to the pilot/flight attendant." Tony suddenly remembered. Harry expected someone to step out but instead he was greeted by that same voice..

"Hello, Harry." it sounded in an obvious Irish accent. Harry looked around for the source but was quick to work out it must have come from a speaker somewhere on the jet. "I'm Friday, Mr Stark's AI." The voice introduced itself.

"Er… nice to meet you?" Harry told the disembodied voice. She didn't respond and he looked over at Tony who was back on his tablet and then over at May who was reading a book.

"What's New York like?" He chanced asking. May and Tony both looked up and then over to each other.

"Never a dull moment, your cousin makes sure of that." Tony said fondly. Harry was forced to wonder what that even meant. So far, what he knew about Peter was that he was really apologetic, refused to admit when he was sick, accident prone and liked to climb on ceilings. What exactly was it that his cousin did? He supposed he'd find out.

"You and Peter will have to share a room for a little while but I'm sure he won't mind." May told him. Harry had shared a room with Ron before, he doubted sharing one with his new cousin wouldn't be too bad. So long as he was nothing like Dudley. Harry remembered the singular conversation he'd had with him and decided he had nothing to worry about on that front.

"That's alright. I don't mind." Harry told her.

"You might." Tony spoke up. "That kid is always coming and going at all hours of the night." He shook his head.

"Oh no he won't, he has a very strict eleven thirty curfew." May said firmly. Tony seemed to sit up straighter at that.

"What time did you say his curfew was?" He chanced asking.

"Eleven thirty." May repeated and then eyed him suspiciously. "Why?" Tony was quiet a moment, trying to decide how to answer that question.

"No reason, just need to know for the bedtime-protocol." He decided on. May narrowed her eyes at him as though she thought he was lying.

There was a soft 'ding' from overhead and Tony stood up to escape the conversation, muttering something about a mimosa. They must have reached altitude. Did that mean he could get up now and look around? He undid his seatbelt and when May didn't stop him he chanced standing up and moved to get a good look at everything.

The jet wasn't actually that big but there was a bathroom, a backroom that had a television mounted to the side and a long pole a little off to the side. Harry assumed it was some kind of support beam.

"Hey kid, not sure May's gonna approve of you hanging out in the bar area." Tony told him, standing behind a slick counter where he was pouring some orange juice into two glasses.

"Oh, I just wanted to look around." Harry defended himself quickly. "And I didn't know this was a bar-"

"Don't sweat it, kid. You're not in trouble. She'll get over it." He took a sip out of one of the glasses. "Want something to drink?"

"Er.." Harry started, wondering if May would let him have anything that wasn't water? Tony seemed to read his mind and poured him a glass of orange juice anyway, holding it out to him. He took the glass and took a drink.

"There's nothing but OJ in that one." He informed him before taking another drink of his own glass. "So, what do you think of muggle technology?"

"I er-I'm not-I don't have anything against muggle technology. Your Jet's really nice though." Harry told him, getting the feeling that even if Tony didn't acknowledge it, he was pleased with the compliment.

"How you doing, kid?" Tony finally asked as Harry sipped at his orange juice. "It's a lot to take in and I'm sure it's overwhelming."

"It is." Harry agreed. "But it's a good kind of overwhelming. I'm leaving the Dursley's and I still get to go to Hogwarts. And I'm looking forward to seeing New York." He admitted. "D'you really think I'll be safe there, though? From Voldemort, I mean."

"I'm sure of it kid, for one, your cousin has a weird danger-sense. He calls it his spider-sense but don't listen to him." Tony told the boy flippantly.

"O..kay.." Harry responded uncertainly.

"We don't need to talk about that." Tony decided before Harry could think to ask any questions about his cousin's his so-called danger sense. He stepped out from behind the counter, two glas flutes in hand and sort of beckoned Harry over. Harry moved over closer and Tony draped an arm over his shoulder, steering him back to the main part of the plane. "What we do need to talk about-" He gently pushed the door open and led them back to May. "You're turning thirteen at the end of the month."

At the announcement, Harry felt his cheeks warm and May looked up from her book. "Er, yeah.. July 31st." He admitted.

"We'll have to do something about that." Tony released his hold on Harry's shoulder and moved over to hand May one of the flutes of orange juice.

"I can't drink right now." May hissed, taking the glass anyway but probably more so, so that it didn't drop.

"You're not drinking, we're celebrating." Tony argued.

May rolled her eyes but raised her glass slightly. "To new family." Tony brought his own closer to hers.

"To new family." She tilted her glass towards his. He pulled back.

"Hey Potter, get over here, you're celebrating too." Tony waved him closer. Harry felt his chest swelling with emotion and he moved over to join their toast.

"New family." Tony repeated before the three of them clinked glasses and took a drink.

oooOOOooo

Meanwhile, Severus Snape decided to pay a quick visit to Queens. His conversation with Petunia had been less than satisfactory and if the Muggle nurse was right, and seemed she was, then Potter was likely suffering from some form of malnourishment. Which was exactly what led him to the seventh floor of May Parker's Apartment building in Forest Hills, Queens; to drop off a few vials of potions specifically designed to fight malnutrition. His plan was simple, get in, leave the potions with their instructions and leave well before Potter and Mrs Parker made it home.

His plan was turned abruptly on its head when he waved his wand to unlock the door and found himself staring down two teenage boys. One was a slightly large, dark skinned boy and the other was a small, pale boy with curly brown hair that seemed to be drenched in sweat. Maybe he should have waited a second before just opening the door. However, he was under the impression the apartment would be empty. The larger boy seemed to be supporting his friend's weight and there was no mystery as to why.

The pale one, much too pale now that Severus thought about it, had an extra hole in his left thigh. Dark red was staining blue spandex but he seemed distracted by the sudden intrusion. Severus had been a teacher long enough that he could easily recognize that 'caught in the act' guilty expression.

"Who are you?" The injured boy's brain seemed to have jump started and he released his friend's shoulder in favor of stepping protectively in front of him. Severus could tell by the boy's expression it was causing him a great deal of pain to hold his stance.

"That doesn't matter, I'm only here to deliver something." He answered. "And you two are?" He pressed.

"I'm Ne-"

"Why should we tell you?" The injured teen demanded, cutting off his friend's introduction. "What are you delivering? I didn't order anything."

"Some potions." Severus opted for honesty. If things went terribly then he could obliviate the two boys and no one need ever know he'd stopped by. "I was under the impression this apartment would be empty until May Parker returned later this evening."

"He got shot." The larger boy indicated to the one standing protectively in front of him. "Peter thought this would be the best place to-"

"Ned!" Peter cut him off again. "I wasn't giving him our names for a reason!" He stated, still looking ready for a fight. Or like he was about to pass out, it was difficult to tell really.

"Sorry…" Ned muttered. Severus could feel his head starting to reel with the information. He had their names and now he knew what that extra hole was. He really wished he didn't because if he was reading the situation right these two muggle boys thought they'd sneak in here and perform an outpatient surgery to patch up a bullet wound.

What were they doing that resulted in one of them getting shot, anyway? Severus sucked in a breath and looked around the room to try and calm himself down. It provided answers as to why the two chose this apartment. It appeared Peter lived here. The headmaster had mentioned something about May having a nephew-this must have been him.

"And how, praytell, did you manage that?" He turned his attention on Peter who seemed to tense up and offered a half hearted shrug.

"Oh, you know. It's a rough neighborhood. And I have a cold so my reaction time is.. Not great." He admitted. Severus rolls his eyes at Peter's lack of an answer and then dared to step in further. With a flick of his wand the door closed and locked itself.

"Holy shit!" Peter exclaimed at the display. "How'd you do that-why'd you do that? Ned, did you see that?"

"Oh my god. Peter, a wizard broke into your house." Ned aggressively tapped Peter's shoulder as though it were possible Peter hadn't worked that bit out on his own.

"Watch your language. And, yes." Severus admitted. "I suppose you two idiots thought that you could, what? Patch up a bullet wound in a less than sterile environment?" He might not know much about muggle medicine but he knew enough to know this was not the right place for that kind of procedure. Muggles were always so sensitive to germs and infection.

"What? No!" Peter shook his head. "I just need to get the bullet out and then I'll wrap it up so I can heal." Somehow, that plan was even worse and Severus did not need the quickly forming headache this boy was giving him. He should leave and let the boys deal with it in their own idiotic way.

And yet, he stayed.

"Come here." He said roughly, crossing over to the muggle child and gripping his forearm to steer him towards the couch. He expected that Peter would be forced to follow but to Severus's surprise, Peter stood his ground and pulled his arm free.

"Tell me who you are." He demanded. It was clear he was perfectly content to bleed out if he didn't get the information first. Severus sighed, debating just using magic on the insolent teen to get him to lay down.

"Severus Snape." He finally introduced himself. "I'm a teacher and your Aunt is bringing home a child with her and the potions are for him. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to make this quick so I can enjoy what little summer holiday I have left."

Peter still didn't budge as that was a lot for him to process. Just how strong was this boy?

"What the hell are you talking about? My Aunt's doing what now?"

"I don't like repeating myself, Mr Parker. You'll have to ask her and were you my student, your language would have lost you house points." Severus warned him. "If you don't cooperate, I will levitate you to the couch."

"No you won't. I'll just stick to the ground." Peter said defiantly. Ned let out a small snort. Severus didn't find this funny in the least.

"Do you want help with your leg?" He finally asked. Peter looked startled by the question and looked down at it. There was a grimace on his face.

"If you can, I guess. Why not?" Finally, Severus got him to move to the sofa. Ned followed suit.

"What are you gonna do? Make it disappear?" He asked as Peter hobbled over and fell into the cushions. Severus helped Peter to adjust and made sure the injury was properly propped up before he briefly pointed his wand at it.

" Accio bullet. "

"Mother fucker!" Peter exclaimed, his whole body jolting as the bullet ripped out of his leg.

"Detention." Severus responded automatically. The boy took several breaths to try and push through his pain and then paused as the word registered.

"Deten-you just ripped a fucking bullet out of my leg." A pause. "Wait. You can't give me detention, it's the middle of summer!" Another pause. "...And you're not even my teacher!"

"Thank Merlin, for that…" Severus muttered under his breath. "Force of habit." He waved his wand and some bandages immediately appeared, wrapping snugly around Peter's thigh where the bullet had been lodged not five minutes ago. Peter was still whining in pain over the bullet just being yanked out which admittedly, must have been a little jarring.

"Well, um.. Thanks?" Ned offered since Peter was a little distracted. Severus reached into his robes and pulled out a small vial and quickly uncorked it, shoving it in Peter's direction.

"Drink." He commanded. Peter, mouthy teen or not, was still a teen and most teenagers could be spurred into action with certain tones. It appeared this one was not immune and he grabbed the vial and started to take a drink.

And then stopped.

"What is it?" Peter looked down in the vial.

"It's a blood replenishing potion as I would imagine you've lost quite a bit." Severus explained, exasperated with the whole situation. Peter frowned and then looked to his friend who just shrugged. He tossed the potion back and a look of disgust crossed his face. That was to be expected. Potions were not known for their taste.

"Now that that's been properly handled, neither of you are to mention my presence here nor the existence of magic. If you utter a single word to anyone I'll rid you of your memories of today's events, understood?"

"Yes sir, you can count on us sir, I haven't even told anyone that Peter's Spider-man." Ned stated.

"Dude!" Peter protested.

"Um.. Peter, you're… wearing the suit." Ned pointed out. Peter glanced down at the spider-emblem on his chest.

"Oh."