Good Morning, Little Ones!
So my life is unfathomably chaotic for the next week and a half as the school year ends. I'm working to churn out chapters, but some days I don't even have time to eat let alone open my laptop. Chapters will go up this week as I can get them out, and normal daily posting will resume as soon as my school year is over.
Thank you all for understanding.
Also tremendous thank you to Mel who is such a badass she beta'd this first thing in the morning before I was even up. Thank you also to Jill and Paige!
.: Fjórir :.
I cannot shake Bella's face from my mind. I hate that I've had to explain her role in our society before I have any way to offer her out of it.
I leave Bella in our home, and then I head right back down the village. I waste no time, seeking out first Egil to tell him of my decision. Despite his new son at home, Egil agrees to come with me to speak to Bjarni about my plans.
It takes three days to negotiate with Bjarni and his son, but in the end, we come to an agreement I find more than satisfactory.
I will have enough to buy Bella's freedom and set her up in Iceland with a bountiful inheritance without being a burden on Egil.
When my business is complete, I am desperate to return home. Three days without my Little One has made me wary.
I thank Egil, promising to bring Bella back in the morning to free her. It feels too soon, but I know that it needs to be done as soon as possible, for Bella's sake.
I ride hard up the mountain, and in a much shorter time than I expect, I'm arriving at the farmstead. My horse rounds the last bend, and I am graced with the sight of my Little One. She is sprinting toward me, and I quickly dismount. Almost as soon as my feet hit the ground, she is launching into my arms, and it is as if the clouds have parted and the full power of the sun is shining down on me.
"Little One." I groan, pulling her tighter, lifting her off the ground to breathe her in.
She smells of honey and amber and woodsmoke and home.
I can feel her body trembling against mine, and I do not know if it's from relief or nerves. We've never touched like this, and now that we have, I want never to release her.
Then, her lips scrape my cheek, catching on the thick hair of my beard. My head tilts, moving to take her in, and when I do, she surprises me by leaning in and pressing her lips to mine.
My arms tighten around her to the point that in the back of my mind I'm worried I'm hurting her, but her small hands are weaving through my hair, tugging encouragingly. She tastes sweet and rich and powerful. Her kiss makes me feel like I've finally taken my first true breath.
"Gods," I groan, wrenching us apart. My head drops to the space between her neck and shoulder, and I breathe in the scent of her. I feel her moan lightly as my beard scrapes her sensitive skin. "The temptation of you," I say, my voice heavy. "What has overcome you, Little One?"
She shifts out of my grasp ever so slightly, and I pull back to look at her. With burning honesty in her eyes, she meets my gaze and utters three words that nearly bring me to my knees.
"I missed you."
I cannot help the breathless smile that steals over my face, nor the raw honest words that pour out of me next.
"As I've missed you, Little One."
Her smile is dazzling, utterly breath-stopping, and she reaches up, pulling me back down into a kiss.
…
Despite how much she's learned, I forget that there is still so much about our society my Little One just doesn't know yet. It takes a long time to explain to her why she must leave to live with Egil's family.
Eventually, I think I'm able to rationalize it to her, and that night we spread out under the stars. My Little One is exhausted, and despite how much she wants to stay up all night, it is not long before she's deeply asleep, her breathing creating a gentle rhythm that lulls me into a peaceful mind.
This may be our last night together, though gods willing, it really will be the first of many.
At least the rest of my life.
She curls into my embrace deeper, her small hands gripping the fur around my shoulders, and she lets out a soft sigh.
"Edvard."
My heart sings to hear her utter my name, and I bring a hand up, running it gently over her cheek.
"You are my world," I whisper to her. "All that I am has been to find you."
She says something, and it's that strange language I've never heard before she came into my life. I try to mimic the sounds, but they are so flat, so void of song and life.
"Neigh," I whisper, trying to copy the first of the sounds. "Muh." I shake my head. It sounds like an absurd language.
"Neigh-Muh," I mutter again, trying to find the pitch and cadence of her speech. "Nay-mm… Name."
I wonder what it means.
Sometimes, I want to ask her about it. I want to ask her about the strange words she says when she gets frustrated or confused, but I know it won't do any good. It is our way that once you join our society, you forget your past. Encouraging her to talk about wherever she's come from will only get her into trouble with others, and I don't wish that for her.
"Edvard," she moans again, and I train my eyes on her beautiful face. She is like gazing up at the moon: radiant and bright, full of wonder and mystery. Another word slips between her lips and I lean in, trying to learn it.
"Luh-vv." It is a difficult word, because there are sounds I've never heard in it, but I practice it over and over. "Luhv… Love."
Love… Name… What could she be dreaming?
I may never know, but right now I am more than content holding her and listening to her melodic voice.
…
I try not to show my nerves the entire time we travel as a company down the mountain. I'm worried for my Little One, scared that once she slips away from me as a free woman, she will fly away, just as quickly as she landed in my life.
It is irrational, but the fear is deep and unwavering in my core.
Egil and I have decided that though her ceremony would normally be held by inviting the village, since we cannot host a celebration quite yet, we will conduct everything in private. Bella has not been seen by anyone else in the village yet, so there is no one else who needs to bear witness to her freedom.
Bella handles each task of the ceremony well, and though part of my heart breaks to declare her free, the rest of me is elated.
She is on her way to having all that she deserves in life.
I see my mother's sharp eyes widen when I give Bella her gold, and I know that as soon as she finds a moment, she will be shouting at me over it.
I don't care. Since my father's departure to Iceland, I am the master of this farm, and my word is final.
We celebrate with a drink and roasted pork, but in the morning, I must depart back up the mountain.
There are endless tasks to do before we set sail.
It is unfathomably difficult to leave my Little One, but I leave her with the people I trust most in our village. I look back, only once, and the strength and affection I see on her face sink into me, warming my heart. She will be well; better than that, she will grow even stronger now.
This is good for her.
On the journey home, it doesn't take long for Eydís to find me. "You fool," she snarls quietly. "What have you done?"
I try to keep my face blank and calm. "I've done what I must."
Eydís sighs. "Edvard," she warns.
I turn to glare at her. "What I've done is not your concern," I snap. She doesn't even flinch.
"You are just like your mother," she says after a moment. I blink, surprised. "She was too generous too."
"You say that like it is an evil thing to have in one's heart," I say dryly. Eydís so rarely talks about my mother. She remembers her better than I do.
"Not evil," Eydís says carefully. "But not wise."
I don't respond.
"Edvard, we can't afford—"
"We can," I say, cutting her off. "I've sold the farm to Bjarni's son."
Eydís lets out a string of swears that are almost impressive.
"You fool!" she hisses. "When your father hears of this…"
"I am the master of this farm," I remind her. "And I did what we needed to do for our family."
I can feel her wrath, though I don't dare look at her. "I thought you liked Bella," I point out.
Eydís snorts. "Just because I like something does not give you permission to be a fool."
I smirk, shaking my head. "All will be well. You'll see."
I look at her then. Her face is pinched with her worry, and despite her harsh words, I know at the core of everything is her concern for our family. Eydís is a fierce protector of those she loves.
"If you are wrong, I will cut off your cock so you can't make any more decisions with it," she snaps at me. I laugh, and despite herself, I can see a smile tugging at her lips.
"A fair deal," I concede. She huffs but says no more about it as we head up the mountain.
When we return to the farm, there is far too much to do for Eydís to worry about berating me. We spend long swaths of the day preparing supplies and sorting our belongings into essential and replaceable. Eydís is anxious to leave her gardens, even though she knows I've helped her sow one on the new farm in Iceland.
It is more days than I'd like until I'm ready to make a trip back to the village. Now that Bella is a free woman, I cannot call on her so easily, but Egil has promised to help me arrange a visit anyway.
The village is thrumming with activity when I arrive, and I realize it's because a fair number of people are preparing to depart for Iceland.
I make my way toward shore, my eyes eagerly tracking through the crowds of people for Bella. My heart starts to sink when I don't immediately find her. I wonder if she might not be here after all, when a cascade of rich brown hair catches my eyes.
No one has hair like my Little One.
I approach her quietly, not wanting to disrupt her taking in the landscape.
"What do you think of our fjord?"
She looks up at me, and the relief on her face nearly brings me to my knees.
"Edvard," she breathes.
I want to sink and worship at her feet. "Hello, Little One."
It is difficult—beyond difficult—to stay focused and not act in any inappropriate way. Out here, under the scrutinous eye of our village, I must be careful.
Our time is too brief and is disrupted by none other than Sten. I can feel his cruel gaze on us from a great distance away, and I feel my teeth grind together when he walks toward us, daring to introduce me to my own Little One.
I choose my words carefully, trying not to alarm Bella nor draw suspicion from Sten, but it is hard. I can see his cold gaze on her, sense his lust for her. I have to fight back my blind fury at even the thought.
He will not touch her.
Sten's eyes meet mine, and he smirks, clearly thinking that he has more of an edge at courting Bella.
I've never wanted to kill a man more.
Our rivalry predates Inga. It has been all our lives back to children playing in the tall grasses in the valley beyond the village. Sten has always been a brute, overpowering where he can, forcing his will upon all, especially those weaker than him.
Though I am by no means a perfect man, I've always striven to do what I believe to be good and wise, and this is where we clash. I am too strong to submit to Sten's will, and I've always fought back against it for those who weren't.
Before things can get too far out of hand, Egil strides over, offering Bella an escape. I hate that my time with her has ended this way, but I'm relieved to see her get away from Sten.
She slips off to meet Tove, and I force myself to turn to Egil.
"Egil," I say, reaching out to clasp hands with him.
He nods, clasping back. "Edvard, it's good to see you." He looks at Sten, offering his hand. "Sten."
Sten looks like he wants to ignore the proffered hand, but in the end, grasps it with his own.
"Egil, we were just getting to know your sister."
Egil's eyes are sharp as he looks us both over. "No doubt frightening her." He huffs. I shift, properly shamed. "You both will do well to remember that she is of my family, and that I will not tolerate impropriety."
I know that he's mostly saying this for Sten's benefit, but I feel the back of my neck heat. Even though I've been civil, I've been disgraceful with Sten. I know I must do better, for my Little One.
"My apologies, Egil," I say, shaking my head. "It won't happen again."
He looks at me and nods once before looking at Sten. He doesn't say anything but gives Egil a tight nod of confirmation.
"Right," Egil says, clapping his hands. "To business."
…
The nine days both fly and crawl by. I am so busy that I am kept working morning to night, but all the while, I miss my Little One with my whole heart.
On the morning of our voyage, I'm ready to tear down the mountain to get to her.
It takes a long time to get going in the morning, and with the children coming with us, I lift small Katla onto my saddle. Rúna takes the baby, and Arni guides their eldest on his own pony. Eydís and Josurr are both weighed down with our supplies even though I try to take some from Eydís.
"I can handle my things," she snaps at me, and I lift my hands in surrender. I know she likes things a certain way, and it's best to leave her to it.
On the ride down the mountain, I entertain Katla with songs and stories. Her laughter reminds me of time with Bella in our home, and my heart winces, longing for those days once again.
When we finally make it to the village, I dismount, leaving Katla on the saddle. "Hold on tight, Dear One," I tell her, gently walking the horse. I stride beside her in case she starts to slip, but she is as strong and sure as her parents, and she does not falter.
When we reach the water, I pull her down, pressing a kiss to her hair before sending her to her mother. I have much to do before we depart, even though all I want to do is find Bella.
I find Egil, and together we begin loading the ship. I hear men asking Egil about his sister and whether she is betrothed, and Egil, the honorable man he is, gives them an answer that makes me smile.
"She is a woman of her own mind, and she will decide for herself who is worthy of courting her."
Though it grates on me to hear the men speak of Bella, I cannot blame them. She is such a rare and striking beauty. It would be difficult not to be bewitched by her.
I tune the men out as I focus on my tasks of loading the ship. Josurr and Arni join us, and together we haul my family's belongings aboard.
"Well, brother. This is it."
I look at Josurr as we set the last basket onboard. His eyes are up the mountain, in the direction of our farm. My heart winces.
"I'm sorry that you cannot return to it," I say quietly. It had been something Josurr had considered doing, coming back after we settled, finding a wife and continuing to run the farm. Now, he has not much choice more than to stay in Iceland with us.
He looks at me, his bright eyes only mildly somber.
"I'm young," he says, shrugging. "The gods may reveal yet a path for me."
I smile, clapping him on the shoulder. "Right you are," I tell him. "Come, let us set forth on our next adventure."
He grins and climbs onto the ship. I climb on behind him, standing at the edge and helping the women and children who are boarding.
Bella makes her way slowly before me, Katla in her arms. It makes my heart lurch to see her with the child, and in my chest hope blooms.
One day.
I offer her my hand, and when our palms touch, it feels as if I can breathe for the first time. "Little One," I whisper.
I see her shoulders relax as she climbs aboard.
"Thank you," she whispers back. I let go of her and force myself to turn my attention to the next person, but I can sense her, just behind me.
We are one step closer to a future being together and the future is as the sea—vast and bright.