Good Morning, Smár Einn!
I'm sorry for the delay of this chapter. Edvard is extremely taciturn, and even though I know what is supposed to happen, pulling words out of him is like trying to move a mountain.
Anyway, thank you to Mel, Jill, and Paige for getting this back to me so quickly and for their amazing continued support!
.: Sex :.
After the conversation with my father, I move quickly. I pull Egil aside, letting him know of my intentions, and after an ill-concealed smile, he agrees to speak to Bella of the match.
Though my heart knows she will not refuse it—for she was the one to ask me after all—I still find myself anxious for a response.
It is a sleepless night for me.
In the morning, when I'm called to begin the chores on the farm, I'm grateful for an excuse to move. I will surely become mad sitting here, waiting.
Work keeps me busy, until right before the evening meal is called. I feel it in my bones: I'm finally tired enough to possibly get real sleep.
The prospect is welcome.
On my way back to the longhouse, Eydís finds me, halting my path.
"She needs you."
I know immediately whom Eydís speaks of, though I do not yet know much else.
"What's happened? Is she all right?"
She shakes her head, telling me what has transpired this afternoon. When she's done, Eydís lets out a breath. "She's still too soft," she says quietly. It's not an accusation, as it had been in the past. Now her tone is somber, regretful even. "She does not understand our politics, nor does she understand the role of thralls."
My heart sinks.
"I must find her."
I leave Eydís on the path, seeking first within the house and then outside on the grounds.
She has found a spot in the evening sun, a pile of mending in her hands, her face haunted with the ghosts she carries in her mind.
"Little One?"
She looks at me and the pain in her eyes nearly breaks me. I want to rush to her, to hold her and soothe her aching heart.
Instead, I sit far enough away that should anyone find us, no one would talk.
I have never seen her in such a way, so defeated, so distraught. I wish I could fix things for her, but there is no way I can.
She does not understand the delicate political games I must play every time I speak to anyone outside of my own house. She doesn't know that there is a constant battle for power, and that to speak against even one person could lead my family to ruin.
She has no idea that her very life could be in jeopardy if she were to fight against the wrong person. Perhaps things are not perfect here, but they can always be worse.
But my Little One does not know all these things, and I don't know how to explain them to her. Instead of having patience with her, I feel myself starting to snap at her, my own fear and frustration around the subject coming out and harshening my voice.
I immediately regret every word I speak to her in anger.
Before I can make it right, Tove comes, and with a single look from her, I know I must give Bella space.
My heart aching, I get up and leave them as Bella begins to weep harder into Tove's shoulder. It should be me holding her, but how can I when I was the one to cause such tears.
I have never loathed myself more.
I don't go back to the house, not yet. I am in no mood for company, and I fear even the slightest of wrong looks from someone will set me off.
Instead, I head into the trees, trying to bring sense back to myself.
The forest is far thinner here than that of my homeland, but trees are trees, and as soon as I'm amongst them, it's as if I can breathe almost fully again.
I know I truly will not breathe until my Little One is in my arms, where she belongs.
The trees reach out to me, lending me their strength and calm, and the farther I walk into them, the more I return to myself.
Overhead, a raven flits through branches, and I stop to admire his large sleek body.
"What troubles have driven you to seek solace in the trees, dear friend?"
The raven perches on a branch, his large head tilting, one glittering eye catching the low light of the evening as he gazes down at me.
I offer him a small smile. "Share in this sanctuary," I tell him. "Let our woes be lifted from our spirits."
The raven squawks back, and it is enough to bring a true smile to my face.
"Thank you, little friend."
He keeps me company a while longer before I finally head back to the longhouse.
I'm just in time for the evening meal, which means I don't have enough time to find Bella and apologize to her.
No matter how worried I am about her, I had no right to speak to her as I did.
All throughout dinner, my eyes stay fixed on my Little One, who is seated about as far from me as she can be. I hardly eat, wishing to see her face, to gauge how she is feeling.
It is impossible to tell.
Time drags on, and what should have been a splendid meal feels as if it turns to ash in my mouth.
It feels a lifetime has been spent before my father stands, calling for Egil.
Finally.
I stand as well, following my father's lead. When Egil and Bella rise from the table, in my chest, my heart beats a frantic rhythm.
They make their way down to our side of the table, and after another lifetime has passed, my Little One meets my gaze.
I feel a burning so deep in my soul, I fear I will catch the house on fire. Her gaze is full of longing, of pain, of confusion and love.
It leaves me feeling charred as I burn with the same excruciating feelings.
We move away from the table, and though I'm sure people are speaking as we exit, my entire being is focused so completely on my Little One, I don't notice anything else.
When we have finally found privacy, I let out a small, tense breath.
Father begins the negotiations, and it is a struggle for me to listen, despite the vested interest I have in them. My greater interest always is sitting across from me, looking pale and lost.
It does not surprise me when Egil turns to Bella for her input on the match. I know he has vowed to do so, and he is above all else a man of his word.
Bella seems surprised to be called out, and for a moment, she hesitates. I feel my heart folding in on itself, crumbling under grief.
I have ruined things. Gods, what have I done. She hates me.
But then her back is straightening as she holds her head higher, and from within her, that light that she sometimes radiates starts to glow.
Her voice is cool, firm, powerful, as she states her conditions.
I am so relieved I agree immediately, without hesitation. I will deal with any fallout I must, so long as she will still consent to be mine.
I can feel Father's disapproval, but I care not. We have reached an accord, and my Little One will soon be mine.
…
As much as I loathe it, I must leave my Little One to check on our farm. It has been more than a year since I've been there, and though I'm told all is well, there are preparations I must make if I am to return with a bride.
I bring Josurr with me, intent on teaching him how I've begun my farmstead, so that in a year's time, he can begin his own. Along with him, we travel with a handful of thralls to help ready my home for our permanent arrival.
The ride is beautiful, cutting across rugged landscapes that boast mountains much more raw and exposed than the forested ones of my home. It is humbling to observe the great spires of rock pierce the clouds, as if they themselves are bridges to another world.
Our party arrives swiftly to my farmstead, and as we are dismounting our horses, Marcus comes out to greet me. He should greet me as a thrall would greet their master, but we've always been much more friendly than that. We clasp hands, and it is only his immediate move to help me with my horse afterward that distinguishes us as anything other than equals.
"How has it fared?" I ask, looking up at the long-house. It's far smaller than my father's but unlike my father's, it will not act as a meeting hall for the community and for those recently arrived to Iceland.
"The land is fertile," Marcus says, walking with me up to the house. He has my horse by the reins and will unpack my saddle bags after we speak. "Your farm prospers."
I look at Marcus, my relief great. "Thank you," I tell him, glad to be home and to hear that he has taken such care of my land. I turn my attention to Josurr who hands his reins off to Marcus as well. "Come, brother. Let me show you around."
We spend the rest of the day inspecting the farm, tending to chores that need attention. All the thralls I've left here are loyal, hardworking people that I am happy to see once more.
When I see Ebba, she greets me with a large mug of ale.
"Welcome home," she says, offering me a sisterly pat on the shoulder. I smile at her, taking my seat at the table. Moments later, she puts food in front of me. It smells incredible, and it reminds me how I have truly missed her cooking.
I ask the thralls to sit at my table and dine with me. Josurr is just as happy to see them all, for most of them were around during his childhood.
I do believe it was Ebba who was his first kiss.
The merriment around the table is light-hearted, the only sour note being that my Little One is not here too.
I miss her with a soul-deep ache.
"What news is there?" Marcus asks as Ebba brings us second plates of fish and vegetables.
"Edvard is betrothed."
I look at my brother, who has had a touch too much ale, his cheeks flushed red and his eyes a little glassy. Beside him, young Everly is leaning into his side, also inebriated. I don't care if he socializes with her, so long as she is willing. I set myself a reminder to check on her before anything goes too far with Josurr tonight.
"Betrothed?" Marcus asks, his dark eyebrows lifting in surprise. "Is this a happy union?"
I let out a breath. "Very," I agree. "She is strong and kind and a wonderful healer. She will be a blessing to us all."
I see everyone nod around the table.
"What is her name?" Ebba inquires, her body leaning into the side of her husband. Geralt wraps an arm around her waist, kissing her hair.
"Bella," I tell them. I can see their confusion. It is by no means a common name, but I am not certain I am up for the story tonight.
It is apparently not an issue for Josurr.
He launches into the great romance that is my love with Bella.
It is much more humiliating hearing it come from him. By his account, I am a simpering idiot whenever my Little One is present.
Everyone laughs though, and his levity has brought mirth to my table, so I forgive him for his exaggerations.
Soon, every night shall be like this. With my Little One, in our home, surrounded by laughter and friends.
…
I have made sure everything is prepared for my return with Bella. It's taken longer than I wanted, though in truth I've been able to get through everything remarkably fast. I am just anxious to be back with her.
When I arrive back to my father's farm, I find Egil just inside my father's hall.
"How was your farm?" he asks me, clasping my hand in greeting.
"Prosperous," I tell him. My eyes cannot help but to flicker around the room, seeking her face out.
Egil smiles, and brings my attention back to him. "I imagine you are eager to see your betrothed again."
I nod. Tomorrow, we will wed. It cannot come soon enough.
"I am," I start, then stop, hesitating. What I am about to ask for is highly unusual, and very much frowned upon. But I feel I can trust Egil with this. "I have something for Bella," I tell him. "A gift for our wedding."
His eyes assess me, and I wait patiently for him to speak.
Finally, he nods once. He turns to motion across the room to where I finally see my Little One sitting. Egil turns back to me.
"Meet me upon the hill," he says, motioning with his head west. I gaze up at it through the open doorway then look back at him. He has a little bit of a mischievous gleam in his eyes.
I cannot help smiling.
I leave Josurr to unpack his own horse while I hand mine off to a thrall. I head up to the hill, slipping between thin birch trees. Farther up the hill, the trees grow thick enough to actually hide me, and that is where I wait.
I'm not entirely sure what it is specifically Egil has planned, but I trust him to not waste my time.
It is not long before I hear voices coming up the path. I would know the melody of my Little One's voice anywhere.
I hear Egil leave her on the path, and then I am stepping out from behind the trees, taking my first real breath the moment I see her.
Her eyes go wide, and she looks back at Egil once before she turns to me, sprinting down the path and flying into my arms.
"Oh, my Little One. How I have missed you."
She's shaking in my embrace, seeming too overcome with emotion to speak yet. I hold her for a moment longer before gently urging her forward. "Come, my love, let us walk."
We catch up, and I revel in listening to the sound of her voice once again.
It is difficult not to take her into my arms.
Finally, I get around to giving her my gift. It is the necklace I found shortly after her arrival, when I had gone back to the woods seeking answers to her mysterious appearance. Though I'd been given no insights into how she'd arrived, or from where, I'd been drawn to the necklace, pulsing gently in the soft dirt. The moment I picked it up, it seemed to hum her name in my mind.
I'd stored it, worried she might have stolen it and run away from a previous master. I feared someone coming for her and executing her for theft.
When it became clear she had not run away from a master, I began to plan how to return her necklace. There never seemed to be a suitable time…
Until now.
I watch her face as she unwraps it, see the recognition in her eyes as they fill with tears. I know this necklace means something to her, but what, I cannot say.
"Thank you," she whispers, gazing up at me. Fat tears roll down her cheeks. "This…" She swallows hard. "It belonged to my mother."
I suck in a breath, knowing the ache that blooms in her chest. What I wouldn't give for an heirloom that belonged to my own mother. My Little One never speaks of her family, but regardless, I know she must miss them.
I want to promise her the world. I want to promise her a future certain, that no matter what, I will be here for her. I want to promise that not even death can stop me from loving her, that I will always be her family, and in that, I will give her anything and everything she could ever want or need.
The words tumble out of my mouth, incompletely and inadequately explaining all that I wish to give her in life.
She clutches the necklace in one hand, the other hand reaching out to land on my chest.
"I have everything I need when I have you."
Her words draw me closer, and my head dips down, my forehead pressing against hers. The points where our bodies connect create a flow between us, and for a moment, it feels as if we are becoming one.
In my heart, an oath is made.
After tomorrow, nothing will ever keep me from my Little One again.