A/N: (Updated 2018)

Apologies to those of you who were missing this chapter. My reasons for removing it are not an issue at the moment. This is still very much for mature readers only, though.

Disclaimer: All fictional characters, government agencies, songs and brands still belong to their respective owners. No copyright infringement is intended. Mature content warning is in effect.

Chapter 8:

Untold minutes after Edward and I collapse, I finally regain the ability to speak. I take a deep breath and begin to utter the only words I can think of.

"I love—"

"I've never—" Edward starts at the same time.

We both laugh breathlessly. My cheeks flame, and I wonder if he heard what I was about to say. I decide not to ask.

His small smattering of chest hair pokes my still sensitive breasts and I shift beneath him. He lifts his head from my shoulder and pushes some of my hair out of my face for me before he begins to roll away.

"Don't," I say quickly, tightening my arms around his back.

"I'll crush you."

I shake my head. "No, I like you here."

He sighs and lies back down. "I like me here, too."

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"What were you going to say before?"

"Oh," he says, chuckling. "I was just... Wait, what were you going to say? I interrupted you."

I smile and shake my head, blushing again. "Nothing."

He lifts his head. "What is it?"

"It's just . . . I almost told you . . . well, that I love you."

His answering smile is brilliant. "I love you too, Bella. So much more than I ever thought was possible in such a short time. That was all I was going to say before, that I never knew I could feel this much, or feel this damn good."

I look away, overwhelmed.

"Don't hide from me, beautiful."

He tilts my chin up and kisses me tenderly but thoroughly, pulling away only when we both need a breath.

"It's incredible... this feeling," he whispers. "I'd do anything for you right now. I feel like a Brian Adams song."

I laugh and squeeze my arms and legs around him. "Me too."

He moans quietly and slides his arms under me. "Come here," he says, rolling over, but taking me with him this time.

He's so adept at this maneuver that I end up cuddling on his chest with him still buried partially inside me. It's a little wet down there when I think about it, but he reaches for the sheets of my bed and covers us before I can suggest I need the bathroom. His arms wrap around me and he kisses the top of my head with a sigh.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he murmurs. My name a sigh. "My beautiful, beautiful Bella."

I smile and kiss his chest as a blush rises to my cheeks. When I lay my head back down, we're quiet for a long while. I listen to the sound of Edward's heart and think back over the last few hours. Edward is right. This is incredible, though it's a little hard to process it all.

Being recognized in Port Angeles. Edward finding out my real name. Talking to Jasper. Finding out I might have to leave. Edward finding out I'm not a teenager. Edward kissing me. Edward saying he's fallen for me. Me begging him to make love to me. The mind-blowing, earth-shattering result.

My body still tingles from our encounter and I want to commit every moment to memory. Every detail. I want to be able to relive this night again and again. Hell, I want to do it again. I want to see the look in his eyes this time when he enters me. I want to lick his nipple while he moves in me and see if he likes it as much as I do. I want to hear the roughness of his voice when I say something that really turns him on. Like how when I told him that I trusted him.

That memory intrigues me. I still don't think I get why those words were such a big deal to him. It seems like a no-brainer to me. Curious, I debate whether or not to ask him about it, but the thought makes me nervous. A ridiculous notion considering everything we just did together.

While I'm gathering my nerve, Edward's hands are running up and down my back. He eventually notices a small scar near the bottom of my spine and stops.

"What happened there?" he asks, touching the raised skin gently.

"I fell while climbing a chain-link fence when I was ten. The metal went right up my shorts and cut me there. It was mortifying."

His fingers trace the smooth scar tissue. "More mortifying than painful?"

"Yes," I laugh. "Half the neighborhood saw when my shorts tore open."

"But you were hurt."

"I was also wearing bright purple underwear at the time. The cut healed quickly, but one of the kids called me Barney-Butt for years."

"Tell me his name and I'll go punch him in the face for you."

I giggle. "Her name was Anjali. And I got back at her at the end of sixth grade."

"Oh?"

"When we got off the bus the last day of school, she pulled my pony tail and wouldn't let go. So I used a self-defense thing my dad taught me and she ended up on her butt with her pretty little dress over her head. Never bothered me again."

Edward chuckles and squeezes his arms around me. "I would have liked to have seen that."

I smile and laugh along with him.

"Can I ask you a question?" I say, before I lose my nerve.

"Of course."

"When I told you that I trusted you with my life... and you asked me to repeat it..." I take another breath. "Well, you seemed to like that... a lot."

I feel him twitch inside me. Jeez...

"I did like it," he says, his voice low. "Obviously." I laugh because it's very obvious. "Do you want me to move, by the way?" he asks, still rubbing his hands up and down my back.

"No. Not at all. But I would like you to explain," I answer, lifting my chin to look at him. "I mean, of course I trust you Edward. Did you think that I didn't?"

He smiles sadly. "I didn't, no."

"Why?"

Edward reaches up and cups my cheek. "It goes back to what you said that night I met your U.S. Marshal friend. About how he was the only man you could count on since your father died? After meeting him, I knew you'd been through something truly horrific, and I wanted so much to be the one to protect you and take care of you. But when I tried to tell you that, you pushed me away."

Tears prick my eyes. "I'm so sorry. I was trying to-"

"No, I know," he stops me. "I understand now. But I didn't at the time. At the time, I thought you didn't believe in what I was telling you, and because I believed you were just a teenager, I thought I'd crossed a line and lost any right to earn your trust. So to hear you say the words? To know that in addition to everything you entrusted me with tonight, that you were giving your body to me as well? That you were willing to make yourself as vulnerable as you could possibly be? It was staggering."

I can't help the emotion that boils over in me as I reach up and press my mouth to his. He responds immediately, kissing me with both enthusiasm and tenderness. I whimper when he pulls back.

"I love you, Bella. I wish I could make it all go away. I wish I could change the past for you. But if you'll have me, I'll be here for you. And I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. I swear it."

"I believe you," I whisper, trying hard not to cry.

His mouth closes over mine again and he parts his lips. I deepen the kiss, but it somehow remains soft and tender and adoring. When my tears spill over, Edward kisses them away. Slowly, our hands begin wandering farther. Edward's long fingers leave my hair and stroke the sensitive skin on my shoulders and then the small of my back. I shiver and run one hand over his chest, earning a tremble from him.

That smoldering flame of desire flickers, then sparks anew, and I use my tongue to tease the threshold of Edward's mouth. I curl it as if I were trying to coax him inside... not that he needs coaxing. Still, the effort earns a groan from him and when our tongues finally touch, I feel his body react and thicken inside me. My own body responds with a rush of heat and a racing heart, making my insides throb.

"Jesus, Bella." Edward groans and pulls away from our kiss, then starts nipping at my neck. "I've never known anyone as responsive as you are. Not that I've known a lot. I swear. But God... You're... so... damn... responsive." He punctuates each word with a nip, climbing higher until he reaches the spot beneath my ear.

I moan loudly and feel my body prove his point.

"See?" he whispers.

"You should talk," I say, gasping and gripping his shoulders with my hands before pushing at him until we're rolling. "What's it been? Ten minutes? Eleven maybe?" I ask, smirking down at him.

To punctuate my point I rock forward a little, feeling him inside me.

"Oh, I don't know..." He grins, grabbing my hips. "To use your words, it's you. It's all you. And I think it's been a bit longer than ten minutes."

I laugh and run my hands down his chest, my thumbs lingering over his nipples. Playfully, I palm his well-toned pecs and make him smirk.

"I don't think that has the same affect when there's only muscle," he says.

"Speak for yourself," I reply. "Feels good to me."

I squeeze his chest again, giggling when he flexes for me. He does it again and then runs a solitary finger up my navel to my sternum before lifting both his hands to cup my breasts.

"Feels good to me too," he smirks.

"Glad you think so," I laugh.

"How could I not?" he asks. "You have phenomenal breasts, and you really seem to enjoy letting me touch them. Which is hot." To illustrate his point, he squeezes and runs his thumb over the peaks.

I blush at his words, but moan at his touch. "You're the only one who's ever touched them quite this much," I say, panting.

"Jeez, Bella," he groans, twitching inside me again and swelling some more. "You know the exact right things to say. I wish I was the only one who'd ever touched them. Who'd ever touched you."

"Yeah, me too..." I gasp as his thumbs tease my nipples again.

My eyes start to flutter closed, but then I feel him shift beneath me and he sits up. The action causes him to slip out of me and I groan a little at the loss. Dropping my forehead to his shoulder, I shift uncomfortably until I hear his voice low and smooth in my ear.

"Can I help you forget?" he whispers, wrapping his arms firmly around me.

"Forget what?"

"That anyone else has ever touched you."

He kisses my neck, his open mouth lingering over my sensitive skin. His fingers trail up and down my spine, teasing.

"Mmmm..." I moan softly, shivering.

"Is that a yes?" he whispers, sucking on my neck this time.

I tremble against him and press myself closer. "Yes," I breathe. "On one condition."

"Anything."

I kiss his neck. "I get to help you forget, too."

His arms hold me tighter. "Done."

I don't know if he means done-deal, or done, as in he's already forgotten. Either way, I'll take it. I lift my head and meet his eyes, feeling his knees bend behind me. Leaning me back, he kisses my mouth with the lightest pressure and then continues down my neck, over my sternum, and across my navel before kissing his way back up. I moan when he sucks on the hollow between my collar bones.

"I want you again," he says, his voice a rough whisper. "I want you so badly, baby."

I moan a second time and slide my hand down his chest, and then lower. "Me too. I mean . . . I want you. Not me."

He starts to laugh, but then moans when I take his now fully hard erection in my hand. "Bella..." he whimpers.

The sound of his unsteady voice sends warmth rushing through me. Continuing to move my hand over him, I kiss his neck and shoulders. When I suck on the skin there, he ghosts his hands all the down my bent legs and back up again until they land on squarely on my ass. Lifting me up, he sucks one of my breasts into his mouth, assaulting it with his tongue. I groan, desire building low in my navel. He squeezes my curves and lifts me higher, moving to take my other breast in his mouth.

"Oh, God," I gasp.

"Mmm..."

I'm nearly shaking with desire for him, but he doesn't slow down, he doesn't stop circling my nipples with his talented tongue.

"Please, Edward. Please... make love to me."

"God, yes..." he hisses, popping off of my breast looking down between us to help me position him. The sight of his hand on his erection is shockingly arousing and I nearly forget to watch his face this time.

"Wait," I say suddenly.

His eyes shoot up, confused.

"I want to see your face," I explain. "Please, look at me,"

He nods, his green eyes understanding and locked on mine. I kiss him softly and shift on my knees. He rubs the tip back and forth over my center a few times until I can't take it anymore and I lower myself onto him.

It's a struggle to keep my gaze steady, but I watch Edward intently as he enters me at any agonizingly slow pace. I memorize the shape of his partly open mouth, the flush of his skin, and the look of concentration mixed with complete and utter pleasure in his eyes. I emblazon the sound of his moan onto my heart, my own cry echoing it as he fills me.

If possible, he stretches me more fully this time. Perhaps it's because he's brought me to orgasm twice already, but the sensation is overpowering—existing on the precipice between pleasure and pain. I tremble against him.

"Are you okay?" Edward whispers, resting his forehead against mine.

I nod, closing my eyes and struggling just to form words. "It's... intense..."

"For me too." He nuzzles his nose against mine, sliding his hands into my hair and tipping my head back. "Stay still. Kiss me."

I open my eyes while he closes the distance between us, smiling until his lips meet mine. He parts my mouth with his tongue, and I let him, following his lead willingly and melting into him as we kiss. It's not terribly long before I feel relaxed enough to try moving again. I shift my hips just a little at first, rocking them forward ever so slightly.

"Mmmm," Edward hums. "You feel incredible."

I smile and pull back, then rock forward again. Incredible doesn't begin to describe it. The way he fills me is still overwhelming, but the almost painful feeling has settled into something else. After several more test passes, I'm able to take him in deeper, and it feels so, so good.

"Oh, yes, Bella..."

I heave a breath and Edward grips my hips to help guide me while I hold on to his shoulders. Soon, I'm moving fervently, lowering and lifting myself with increasing strength.

Edward's fingers travel up to my waist and he leans me back a little. His mouth returns to my breasts. The combined stimulation is mind-blowing, and I feel myself getting closer.

My movements become a little disorganized as the pleasure between us grows even more intense. I hear Edward moaning more often, so I slow down a little and roll my hips around instead of sliding just up and down. I get a vote of approval in the shift of his grip to my ass.

"God, Bella. Don't stop. Don't stop doing that."

I smile and keep going. I drop my head to his shoulder and run my tongue along on the skin there as I circle my hips with increasing slowness. I change directions and then circle a little faster.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, baby. So good," Edward cries. His fingers flex against my ass.

I try lifting up a little on my next swivel.

"Uhnnn..." he groans, his head falling back.

"Ohmygod," I gasp at the same time.

I repeat my roll, swivel, lift maneuver.

"Oh, shit... Uh..." I hear as I do it again.

"Yes," Edward whispers.

"Uh..." I hear again. "Uh..." And again.

"Yes..." Edward sighs, holding me closely as I roll, swivel, and lift faster now.

"Uh... Uh..."

"Yes, Bella. I love hearing you."

It's only then I that I realize I'm the one who's been moaning. Not only that, but my cries are getting louder and my movements more erratic. Part of me is horrified, and part of me is beyond caring.

"Let go, baby. Feel me," Edward says, encouraging the part that doesn't care about the embarrassing sounds I'm making. He begins lifting his hips up to meet my sloppy swivels, while his hands go back to my hips and move me over him expertly.

"Feel me, baby," he repeats. "Only me."

"Yes, only you," I agree.

It would only ever be him. He'd ruined me for anyone else. I'd only ever want him after this.

"Please," I beg as my legs start shaking. "Please, Edward."

"What, love? What do you need?" he asks, pumping into me faster, though it's still not enough.

"I need... I need..." I shake my head. I don't know what I need.

My legs are on fire. I climbing, building, throbbing. But it's not enough.

"More," I groan. "I need more."

It's all I can come up with, and I guess he's able to interpret because he lifts his hands from my hips and slides his arms around my middle. Lying back, he smoothly pulls me down with him. My hands, which were wrapped around his shoulders, shoot out to the mattress on either side of his head. As soon as he's lying flat, he bends his knees behind me and begins thrusting up while I hover over him. The new position creates the perfect friction against the bundle of nerves above my entrance.

"Oh!"

Edward hums and lifts his head, licking the skin over my sternum. It's then I realize my breasts are bouncing in his face. Startled, I meet his eyes. He grins wickedly and lifts his head to take one in his mouth while fondling the other with one of his long-fingered hands. He circles and teases the taut bud, still pumping into me with his impossibly hard erection. I whimper and then my mouth drops open as I explode two quick thrusts later.

"I'm... Oh, I'm..."

"Come, Bella. Come for me. I've got you."

His plea is all it takes and my body goes rigid while my insides tighten with wave after wave after wave of euphoria. I moan shamelessly, my chin dropping to my chest and my eyelids growing heavy as my climax continues. I'm panting, sweating and shaking as I collapse. Edward rubs my unsteady arms and then pulls me onto his chest. He nuzzles his nose in my hair and pushes it out of my face to kiss my eyes, my cheeks, my nose, my mouth. I go limp against him, but he's still moving inside me.

He eventually sits up a little and rolls us over until I'm lying on my back beneath him, still connected to him. It's one of those graceful moves that leaves me wondering what sort of fitness routine he uses. It must entail yoga or something like it. While I ponder the errant thought of him in downward-facing-dog pose, my tongue sweeps out and he grants me entrance to his mouth. I kiss him with all the sleepy passion I feel.

Slowly, my brain comes back to its senses and my kiss becomes one of gratitude as I try to tell Edward with my lips and tongue just how incredible that was. How incredible he is. Does he have any idea?

I don't know, but I do know he's moaning into my mouth softly and it causes an aftershock of pleasure to course through me. My inner walls quiver and it's only then that I notice Edward's still rocking into me softly, unhurriedly, and shockingly still hard.

When I pull back and look at him, his eyes are closed, his long lashes framing them. He looks so peaceful and I'm not at all surprised to see him smile when he lifts his lids and catches me watching him.

"Hi," he says softly.

"Hi," I say, blushing.

He glides his knuckles gently over my cheek. "Lovely." My cheeks turn redder and he chuckles. "I really like that," he says, his tone growing husky.

I close my eyes and moan at that crushed velvet voice I love. The one I want to hear every day from now on. I try to commit it to memory just in case but get distracted by the feeling of Edward sliding deeper inside me and making my moan louder.

"You are so beautiful when you blush," he whispers. "So beautiful when you make those sounds. You're perfection."

I sigh and he's pulling out again, slowly. "I love you, Isabella. So much."

"I love you, too," I whisper.

He leans down to kiss me again and the look in his eyes shakes me to my core.

He isn't exaggerating his love for me. Not one bit. He looks at me the way my father used to look at my mother. The way I've seen his father look at Esme.

And I know.

Edward Cullen will look at me this way for as long as live.

Something shifts between us then. Maybe Edward sees something similar in my expression? Maybe his name falls from my lips and he hears it? The promise and the plea.

I'm his forever. And I need him to be mine.

As our bodies continue to embrace each other and our passion reignites, I feel my heart and soul irrevocably join with Edward's—never to be my own again. I know it's the same for him too. He leaves me no doubt.

"Be mine," he begs. "Please, be mine."

"I already am," I answer breathlessly as we reach for one another at the same moment, fingers intertwining and coming to rest over my heart.

Fire lights his eyes as he rises over me and begins moving one final time. Very soon, he's climbing, soaring towards ecstasy and completion. I should be shocked that I'm climbing with him, but I'm not. I'm nearly overwrought with emotion and sensation when Edward begins to come undone. He's soon begging me the way I begged him, needing more and not knowing what.

I pull my knee up to my chest and place my foot between our bodies, pointing my toes. Edward watches as I slide it up his chest. He groans my name and sits back on his knees a little, pulling my leg over his shoulder with a quick kiss to my insole. I quickly hitch the other leg around his hip, he pauses to grip it, asking me if I'm okay like this.

With my reassurance, he begins thrusting in earnest, his movements growing unhinged as he holds my legs to him. I stretch my arms above my head, feeling for the headboard. Finding it, I brace myself and push back against him, giving us both some much needed leverage. I tell him how much I love being with him while he grunts, pants and squeezes his eyes shut tight.

He seems to be holding back, so I lift my hips at a different angle and encourage him the way he did me.

"Let go, baby... You won't hurt me."

I like using his term of endearment, the one he's only used in the heat of the moment. I think Edward likes it too, but despite the loud groan I get from him, his eyes remain closed and his movements restrained.

"Edward? Look at me," I demand. When he does, it's a straight shot of lust to my core. His gaze is searing.

"Bella..." he gasps.

"Let go. Please? For me? Let go."

I'm well and truly begging now, because the truth of the matter is that I'm not going to be able to keep this up much longer. But I also want to see him surrender. I want to know what he's truly capable of doing with that body of his.

I get my wish when Edward nods and lowers himself over me, stretching my leg out straight and shifting it slightly to the side. He places one hand on the headboard behind me and whispers a rough warning before slamming into me forcefully. He does it again and again, moving relentlessly.

The result is almost instantaneous and completely overpowering. My hands grip the headboard tighter and my mouth forms a perfect "O" while I cry his name.

"Edward! Oh, my gah... I'm... again!"

"Fffuuhh... Oh... Fuck . . . Bel... ah..."

His words become incoherent as his legs give out and he starts to fall forward. He catches himself on shaky arms but continues thrusting, his length growing thicker inside me and drawing out my orgasm almost painfully. Finally, his movements stutter and slow, and his erection pulses hard, hard, hard inside me.

"Oh God." I'm gasping and on the verge of passing out, the room literally darkening around me.

Edward moans an answer, still riding out his own release. I clench around him until my body is spent. I try to hold onto him, but my arms fall limply behind my head.

"Never... this... good..." he whispers eventually. The words are barely audible beneath the sounds of our labored breathing.

I try to steady my breaths, but it's hard to do with my legs pressed between my chest and his. Fortunately, Edward doesn't seem to need all his faculties to pay attention to my comfort.

Without even opening his eyes, he lifts off of me and lowers my legs one at a time. He gently rubs away the strain in my over-tired muscles with his talented hands. When our hearts have slowed, he pushes himself up on his forearms and leans over my chest, paying a moment of tribute to his favorite part of my body before kissing his way up to my mouth. I smile widely into his kiss, unable to contain the sheer joy and blissful calm I feel at the moment.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips.

"Love you too, baby," he says, sighing. "You have no idea. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For you. For that. For everything."

I squeeze my arms and legs around him. "You too."

Edward rolls us onto our sides until we're face to face and he runs his fingers through my hair. "I hope you know you're stuck with me now."

I sigh and place my hand over his heart even as my eyes close in contentment.

"I think I'll manage somehow," I say airily.

I hear quiet laughter and feel something soft and warm against my lips.

"Edward?" I ask several moments later, not bothering to open my eyes.

"Mmm?"

"Just so you know... that was unbelievably amazing."

He laughs again softly. "Yes, it was."

"I hope it will always be like that for us."

"You don't know how happy it makes me to hear you say that." His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me close.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're hoping it will always be like this for us, then you must be hoping for an always. I like that a lot better than the way you were talking earlier tonight."

"Hmm... you have a point."

"Edward?" I say after another moment.

"Yes?"

"I need another shower now. I'm all sticky and sweaty."

"Me too, love," he chuckles.

"Edward?"

"Yeess?" he answers, clearly amused now.

"You wanna take a shower with me?" I ask.

He laughs and I can feel his breath on my cheek. "Are you sleeping already?"

I giggle and shake my head. My nose bumps his and I open my eyes. "No, not yet. Why?"

"I thought maybe you were saying hilarious things in your sleep again."

I make a face. "I thought I didn't say much last night."

"You didn't say much. But you said a few things."

"Did you watch me sleep for very long?"

"For a while," he admits, looking sheepish.

"Because of the sleep-talking?"

"No, because you asked me to."

I go still. "I did what?"

"You said my name, then said 'Stay.' And then you moaned. It was very convincing."

"Oh my God," I say, burying my hot face in his neck.

He laughs quietly. "Were you dreaming of me?"

I shake my head.

"It sure sounded like you were to me," he whispers in my ear.

"Oh my God! What else did I do?!" I squeal, sitting up on my elbow.

Edward giggles, honestly giggles , and shakes his head. "I was just teasing you, but do you dream of me often?"

I throw myself face down on the mattress and cover my head with a pillow. "Yes," I mumble.

"Was that a 'yes'?" Edward tugs on the pillow.

I nod and the pillow disappears. It's quiet for a moment and then Edward's moving my hair aside, exposing my neck and the side of my face.

"Don't be embarrassed. I dream of you, too. All the time. And I thought you were a student. So, if either of us has anything to be ashamed of, it's me."

"You dream of me?"

"Yes," he says, kissing my neck. I turn my head.

"What do you dream?"

His cheeks flush and his ears turn pink.

"Oh."

"No, nothing like that," he says quickly. "Not exactly, anyway. It was mostly of your hair and eyes. Or of seeing your real smile and hearing your real laugh. The first time I heard you truly laugh was that night at the bar. You looked so happy. I wanted to kill that Jasper guy."

"Were you jealous?"

"Insanely so."

I smile.

We're quiet for a few moments and then I turn to face Edward once again.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"A little after midnight," he answers.

"Really? What time did we get home tonight?"

"Are you always this inquisitive after sex?"

I blush and hide my face again. "No, but then, I've never had mind-blowing sex with a gorgeous man I'm in love with before."

"Mind-blowing, huh?"

"Maybe. It might have been earth-shattering too, but I could be wrong."

"No, I think you have it right," he chuckles.

"Mmm," I agree.

"Bella?" he asks playfully, turning the tables on me.

"Yes?"

"Why did you want to know what time we got home tonight?"

"Oh, I just wondered how long we'd been up here."

Edward wrinkles his brow in concentration. "I think we got home before ten. So a couple of hours?"

This makes my eyebrows go up. "Wow... go us."

Edward laughs loudly. "Go us!?"

"Uh, yeah... We rock."

"Well, we rocked something. That's for sure."

I roll my eyes, but go with it. "You know what really rocks?"

"What?"

"The night is still young."

Edward's quiet a minute.

"Edward?" I ask, growing a little worried.

Then, suddenly, he's up off the bed and sweeping me into his arms.

"Come on, beautiful. Let's go waste some water."

He he he... poor Carlisle & Esme. Can you imagine what their water bill will be like?

;-)

~Ginnie