In which I torture Seteth

I thought it was just going to be a oneshot, but then I had this idea. Enjoy as we see how our residential quest giver is treated with this story.

Also, if you guys want to see some more oneshots from me, or some small extensions to this little thing, then do say so in the reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. If I did, then I wouldn't have to deal with the Three Houses music being taken down constantly.

Seteth could only rub his forehead at the situation present. Caspar, in the infirmary, sustaining multiple injuries from Ferdinand. Weapon used? His fists. Reason why? Honestly, Seteth didn't want to know, nor did he really care at this.

Not after Professor Byleth had said he wouldn't be available today, with no expalnation, causing panic and hysteria among the students, particularly those from the Black Eagles. Luckily, Seteth and Alois had managed to calm all but Edelgard down, but that was to honestly be expected.

Not after finding Mercedes and Annette running the infirmary instead of Professor Manuela on request of Professor Hannemon. While the two were very proficient in the manners of running the facility - particular Mercedes with her aptitude for Faith magic- in the most efficient way possible, finding Manuela not there was most peculiar, and having students run the facility would surely not look good to Lady Rhea.

Not after visiting Professor Hannemon to question why he requested such a thing, only to find that Manuela was suffering from a hangover yet again, prompting Seteth to slam his head against the wall, and ask himself HOW she was still a professor at the Officer's Academy.

ESPECIALLY not after Flayn accusing him that he was getting in the way of her making friends here, which was proposturius beyond belief.

And so, Seteth found himself in front of the room belonging to Manuela. He sighed. Many times he's had to come in here to lecture Manuela on her behavior, each giving him a headache afterwards. Seteth knocked on the door. He could hear a groan on the other side. He knocked again. If he remembered correctly, it usually took three tries for her to open up.

No response. Only a groan. He knocked a third time. And sure enough, he found the door open, with a mess of a person, holding a wet towel to her head. "I swear this bet- Oh, it's you Seteth."

"I think we've been through this enough times to know how this will play out, so I will let myself in." Manuela groaned as he walked in. "As much as I love our chit chats Seteth, I am not really in the mood for one today."

"You mean to tell me you are ever in the mood for them? Rather flattering if I do say so myself, but -" Next thing he knew, Manuela had thrown her towel had him. "Not now Seteth! Last night was horrible! I thought my date would have finally been my lucky break, but instead I get rejected even harsher than before."

Seteth sighed. "Must I listen to another of your ramblings?" Manuela sighed in exasperation. "What is wrong with me Seteth? Why will no man accept me? Why even Professor Byleth would die on the battlefield than marry me."

"The Professor? What does he have to do with anything?"

"Oh, he was my date last night." Suddenly, Seteth stopped thinking. He started at the wall like it was the greatest piece of art on display, ready for him to purchase.

"-teth? Hey Seteth? Are you listening?"

"... I'm sorry, did I hear you say that you went on a date with Professor Byleth?" Manuela gave him a questioning glance. "Yes. What's the big deal?" Seteth then put the pieces together. Professor Byleth was not taking a day off; he was recovering from the traumatic experience of going out with Manuela. Seteth didn't know what would happen if word of this got out; Jeralt killing Manuela for advancing on his son was a very likely possibility, but Rhea killing Seteth for allowing this to happen is just as likely of a prospect, given that Lady Rhea had an… 'exotic' fascination with the new Professor.

"... You are aware that the Professor took the day off?" Manuela gave a surprised look. "No I haven't. I was in my room the entire day, recovering from that jerk's rejection of me trying to give him a good time." Seteth just started at her like she was stupid. "... I wonder why."

"Well, I at least I can rant to someone about this."

"No, I'm not listening to you complain." Manuela sighed. "Fine I suppose. Although, all of this talk is making me wanting a drink. Or two. Or perhaps even more."

… So she was playing that game. "Very well. Please tell me how your waste of time went."

Manuela rolled her eyes at his comment, then proceeded with her story. "It started with my last date. The bastard that I had gone out with told me, through Professor Byleth, that he never wanted to see me again. The Professor saw how distracted I was, and then offered to go on a date with me, with him even letting me to choose where to go."

"... You didn't happen to go to the-"

"What do you think? Of course we did."

"Oh by the gods what is wrong with you?"

"Whatever, more like what is wrong with Byleth. He never had one drink, and he is Jeralt's son, who, by the way, still has tabs on his drinks. At least I have the decency to pay." Manuela rubbed her head. "Where was I… Oh yes! I had mixed some drinks together to try and liven up the spirit-"

"What kind?"

"Imperial Tequila mixed in with at least two other strong beverages."

Seteth slammed his head against the wall. "How are you a teacher again?"

"Because I have an incredible amount of talent in various things."

"How is your liver still functioning?" Manuela shrugged. "Hannenmon is still trying to figure that out. Anyway, we left the restaurant, and, oh my goodness was I drunk."

Seteth shook his head. "Wow, who knew you could get drunk from drinking too much alcohol." Manuela sighed. "Jeesh, aren't you in a lovely mood today. Anway, Professor Byleth was so kind to escort me to my room last night, and call it a night. But me, being the generous lady I am, offered him a night of 'fun', if you catch my drift."

Seteth started at her with a dumbfounded look. He was dead. Rhea needed all of the teachers she could get at the academy, so Manuela was safe. Him? She could find a new advisor. Jeralt was back, so that would work well for her, after Jeralt kills him after finding out that Manuela had just tried to seduce Byleth. All with Rhea's consent of course.

"... Why? Just why?"

"Because I couldn't let that date end on such a flat note. Also, what woman wouldn't want to be with such a handsome and strong young man?"

Maybe this was why Jeralt raised his son so oddly; it wasn't a secret that Professor Byleth was… well, simply put, interesting. He had never heard of the Church of Seiros, rarely shows or expresses any emotions, and never showed any interest in pursuing a romantic relationship, while being oblivious to how others see him. However, given Manuela's personality, that might have been for the best.

"... I take it he ran off?"

Manuela sighed. "Yeah he did, while I was here, crying my eyes out on being an unlovable mess, drank some more, passed out drunk, and here I am, recovering from a hangover while complaining to you."

"... There are so many things wrong with you, you know that right?" Manuela sighed. "I kind of figured. Well, I suppose I should tell Hannenmon what happened so he won't keep asking questions ab-"

"NO! I mean, there is no reason to tell him, or anybody, about this." Seteth was desperate. His life was on the line. Not just that, but he needed to protect Flayn from people like Slyvain, so if it came to being a beggar, then a beggar he will be. "What? Why not, I me-" Manuela gave a smile. An evil one; one she makes when she has an idea that puts Seteth's sanity out of commision.

"Well, that would have been a good idea. I've been thinking about going on another date soon, but I don't have a man that would take me." Seteth eyes twitched. Being blackmailed is one of the worst things in all honesty. "Fine. I will go with you, but only-"

"If I don't speak a word. I understand. I'm going down to the infirmary. Just be prepared for all of this later Seteth." After gesturing to her herself, Manuela had left Seteth standing there, dumbfounded. "... And yet another reason to not like that Professor."

Boom, done. Now, I got a plan. We could:

Continue this with more stories structured like this (person A tells person B a story, leading to hilarity)

Since the DLC Loungewear outfits for Three Houses look more like basketball uniforms, we could have the most competitive basketball game in FE History.

Fun little oneshots of various pairings.

I would like to hear what you guys think, because… I mean, you guys are the ones reading it.

Till next time.