Year 850
Levi leaned against the cold wall of a warehouse, shrouded in darkness, and watched Katrine dance in the moonlight. It was not the first time, and if either of them weren't dead and buried, it wouldn't be the last. He hadn't quite accepted it, though, and afterward, he always made sure to bleach the filthiest corner he could find until the fumes made him dizzy.
He'd been scrubbing the sill of the bathroom window when he had looked up by chance and saw Katrine walking down the deserted street. Her pace was clipped and her head set ahead; if he'd looked up a second later he'd have missed her. He was out the door in moments, following her, the jaundiced glow of candles in windows turning her hair gold. Again, Kenny's insight on how to trail people without them noticing proved useful, though certainly not for the purpose the old man intended. When he reached the cluster of warehouses and found his place in the shadows, Levi found he was still clutching the cleaning brush in his hand.
He hadn't thought much about Katrine for the six months she was gone, because whenever she crawled into his mind he shoved her back into his unconsciousness to collect dust, sitting among his collection of broken memories to forget. He'd gotten good at that, an expert at boxing up things he didn't want to think about and leaving them to rot in the recesses of his mind.
And then a few months later, Titans attacked Trost and an intelligent Titan decided then was the best time to make himself known, and Levi had time for nothing else. Eren Jaeger was a handful on his own, and adding in Erwin's new strategies and the fact that there was another sentient, hostile Titan aiming to demolish them, Katrine languished in that dark corner with memories of dead comrades and hungry nights. But it wasn't until two days after he sprained his ankle, as he sulked in bed with his foot propped up seething at the doctor's order for bed rest, he'd fallen asleep and dreamed of her. There was nothing else, no Titans, just an endless expanse of black and Katrine flying through, dressed in red and her face a dazzling white. Blood on snow.
He'd woken up freezing, hands twitching despite the humid air seeping through his open window. It had only happened once, and when he woke up every morning after he felt an edge of disappointment that it hadn't happened again.
The arm pressed against the stone wall was falling asleep and cold needles pricked his shoulder, but Levi didn't move.
The full moon shone high in the sky, casting triangular shadows onto Katrine's face. Clad in black and hair pulled in a severe bun, she was a malevolent spirit preparing to strike. Despite the trails of sweat streaming down her back, he imagined she would feel cold as granite. She looked thinner than he remembered, but harder, like she'd gouged out any bit of softness she had left. He'd anticipated that she'd be angry and cruel when she returned, but there was an unfamiliar and unsettling feeling lingering like smoke at the back of his throat. Only a few hours ago when she strode in and drew her claws he realized that another person he'd inched ever so slightly toward over days and months and years was gone, and not because of their death but because of his own mistake.
Katrine moved fluidly, but there was the steely concentration in her eyes that he only saw when she was figuring out a way to weasel out of some responsibility. He was used to seeing a dreamy expression, dazed, like she was somewhere else entirely, unreachable. He only saw that look when she danced, and he always wondered, where do you go? How do you fly away when gravity still pulls you back down?
Erwin told him after Hange's captured Titans were killed that he was calling Katrine back from that bullshit mission that was really just a money grab: send a team of Scouts to re-secure the underground route to a profitable iceburst mine, and the Scouts get funding for an expedition. Levi didn't question his decision since Erwin understood how to play that game, but he hadn't thought much about what would happen when that mission was completed. Rather, he hadn't allowed himself to think about it.
If Levi hadn't sprained his ankle, because of that child so desperate to save her brother that she'd put everyone in danger without thinking, then he'd still be on the front lines. There would be countless ways to avoid her. But a mission with just the two of them, spying on a church of all places, was absurdly unlucky. It was like he'd been placed in the palm of her hand, in the perfect position for her to give him that mean wolfish grin and hurl barbs at him that probably had some double meaning he wouldn't understand before she flattened him.
He didn't know what she wanted, and if it was an apology, whatever he said would never sound right, so there was no point in trying.
Just as suddenly as she leaped from one foot to the other, she stopped, arms thrust behind her, head bowed. She was completely still, unyielding, as firm as if she were planted in the soil below her. To Levi's untrained eye she hit everything perfectly, even that impossibly difficult one where she brought one leg to the back of her head and somehow spun perfectly balanced on the other toe. He had no idea how it was possible, and Katrine often fell out of it, cursing and kicking at the floor. This time, there was nothing to fix, everything was already flawless; she'd probably already moved off his level and even higher, so high they were no longer breathing the same air.
Katrine made a hissing noise loud enough for him to hear and moved one arm forward to point menacingly at her forward leg. She bared her teeth. "Stupid!" She slapped the offending foot on the floor, sighing like it had greatly disappointed her.
The tightened muscles in his chest eased. Maybe she hadn't reverted back to all sharp edges. Despite the fact that she might only show him those sharp edges, the person he once knew was still there, hidden away somewhere. He hadn't killed that person after all.
Levi didn't realize how relieved he was until he heard the thud of the brush on the ground and felt his empty hand grasp at air.
Shit!
Katrine's head snapped forward and she glared in his direction, but didn't move. From his place in the darkness, he couldn't tell if she saw him and he froze, breath caught in his throat, hand still in the angry shape of a claw. He was confident that he was hidden but a nervous surge still barreled down his spine. There was that dread again, buried in the pit of his stomach, almost the same he felt when going on dangerous missions where he had to look out for other people. But it was ridiculous. No one was going to die; why did he feel like something just as bad could happen?
The feeling remained, spiting all logic to the contrary.
Levi didn't want her to know, because he couldn't trust himself to speak to her alone just yet and not reveal his soft innards. He needed the extra night, and to see her hands look delicate before they tried to strangle him.
Levi preferred setting out right after the sun rose, so Katrine made sure to remain curled under her blanket for an hour after she saw the first rays through her bedroom window, squeezing her knees so close to her chest that she had trouble breathing. A crack of sunlight seeped through the edge of her cocoon, illuminating the tiny face of the doll from Utopia. Katrine had found it near the bottom of her bag when she'd carefully repacked her shoes; it sat on the green book, expression banal as if waiting patiently for her to return to read it. The two had been shoved aside for more pressing matters and she felt a little guilty because the little doll had protected her from a violent river and an even more dangerous Scout.
She fingered the doll, sliding its face in and out of the light, wishing it would release more of its lucky power. Hopefully, she hadn't used up all of it just yet, and that it was worth more than a few good insults thrown the night before.
Anxiety pounded at the back of her eyes. She was out of Utopia, out of her routine, and despite its dullness, her routine never turned on her. There were multiple Titan Shifters and Wall Rose was breached. Mila, Sara, and Elisabeth were gone, out of her control and in someone else's possibly incapable hands. She would be taking an unwanted trip to Stohess with a priest and Levi and somehow the priest was the least of her concerns.
Scowling, Katrine jabbed the doll harder. A tiny sliver of hay poked out its belly, nicking the pad of her finger. She groaned, loud and obnoxious, for a few long moments and then kicked off the blanket and rolled out of bed. After dressing and meticulously braiding her hair, scrutinizing her face in the mirror, Katrine grabbed the bag she'd packed the night before and trudged down the stairs into the brisk morning air.
The street outside the Scouts' headquarters was unfortunately quiet. Shielding her eyes against the sun, Katrine scanned the road and found a horse and wagon outside the stables. She saw the priest first, a tall, wiry man with close-cropped hair and a wary expression. Levi stood before the horse, feeding it an apple, and he turned when he heard the door shut behind her.
"Took you long enough," he said.
Katrine clenched her fists. She'd wanted more time to prepare. "You're lucky I decided to show up."
Levi shrugged and turned back to the horse.
Katrine frowned and began the long, silent trek over to them, every step scraping and deafening. When she was close enough to really see the priest's face, she saw that his eyes were sunken so far into his skull that they looked completely black. Deep wrinkles creased his forehead, those of an old man, but he looked too sure on his feet to be much older than forty. There was a gloominess about him that made Katrine worry he might throw himself under the carriage wheels.
She plastered a smile on her face. "Good morning! I'm Captain Katrine Casimir, which is a mouthful, so call me Katrine. You must be Nate. I've heard so much about you and I'm just so impressed that I am personally escorting you back to Stohess!" She thrust out her hand for him to shake.
Irritation flashed across his face, but he pursed his lips and shook her hand, firm, but like he didn't want to fully grasp her palm. "It's Nick. Pastor Nick to you."
Katrine slapped her hand to her forehead. "How foolish of me, I'm so terribly sorry! I'm sure you—"
"If you're going to talk, get in the wagon," Levi said. He was already in the driver's seat, reins in hand.
Katrine's falsely cheery expression dropped and her lip curled, but she stopped before Nick could notice. Smile, smile. "It would be a very boring ride without me, Nick, because if you're looking for pleasant conversation, you won't find it there," she said, gesturing with her thumb at Levi. She swept her arm in a grand motion to the cart and smiled even wider. "After you!"
Nick climbed into the wagon and sat gingerly. He turned to eye Levi at the front of the cart but dropped his gaze when met with Levi's unwavering stare. The heavy medallions around his neck appeared to crush his spine and he sank further into himself. Perfect, Katrine thought as she threw herself into the seat across from Nick, causing a satisfying creak. She crossed her legs and rested both arms at the edges of the wagon, taking up as much space as possible.
"Now, Rick, I'm not sure what you've been told since our gallant commander operates on a need-to-know basis, but some very important people in the MPs have demanded your safe return to Stohess. Personally, I thought it was very kind of us Scouts to pluck you out of the rubble and keep you safe from looting and whatever unsavory business happens after a Titan attacks. Can you even imagine what awful things are happening there right now?"
His eyebrows furrowed, dark round eyes reminding her of a raccoon. "Nick. The people of Stohess have enough supplies to keep them afloat."
"Sure, but I heard that there are Titans in the Walls, and they're just peering down on all the people there! Apparently, they're asleep or something, but what if they wake up hungry and want breakfast?" Katrine pinched her fingers and plucked at the air.
"That's impossible."
She dropped her hand. "How do you know?"
Nick pursed his lips and his throat constricted in a hard swallow. "It is not a matter for those outside the Church to know." The answer sounded rehearsed. Katrine nodded like it was completely understandable.
"So, Nick, you always live in Stohess?"
"No. Those in the Church have no permanent residence."
"Ah, but there's always a place you'll call home, right? I'm sent all over with the Scouts but I'll always be from Mitras." She smiled without teeth, disguising the bitter taste in her mouth.
"Shiganshina."
Katrine gasped. "You were in Shiganshina too?" She leaned forward and gaped, eyes wide. "So it's entirely possible that you were the one who orchestrated the attacks on the districts?"
"W-what? Of course not—"
"Of course that's what you'd say, but what are the odds that you survive not only one but two? That's astronomical! Thousands of people die, but not only do you survive but you make it to another district that gets attacked!"
"That's completely absurd!" Nick sputtered, beads of sweat forming at his temples.
"So that's why the MPs want you, to know how you turned two people into Titans that were smart enough to destroy cities?"
"No!" Nick spat the word out. "They want me to—" He cut himself off, teeth clenched. He folded his arms and turned his head away.
Katrine fell silent too, considering her next move. It was strange that the MPs wanted anything to do with this man, a religious fanatic that should be left to his prayers and proselytizing. And why did they want him in particular, and not any other priest? Hange had told her the night before that Nick was adamant about covering up the Titans in the Walls, but he'd traveled to Ehrmich of his own free will because he wanted to see the refugees. And for a priest of a religion that claimed humans were impure beings, why did he seem so interested in the refugees? It was time to make him uncomfortable.
She bent to rummage inside her bag and pulled out the half-full bottle of whiskey she'd swiped after her conversation with Hange. She'd told her that Nick lost his wife and kids due to a bad drinking habit and claimed the Wall Cult had cured him, but those kinds of habits never died.
"Look at this scenery, so boring! It's all open land and trees. It's not even noon and I'm about to fall asleep. You know, you'd be shocked at how terrible the whiskey is up north." Katrine pulled the cork out of the bottle and brought it to her lips, mimicking drinking and swallowing but not allowing any into her mouth. She sighed loudly and smacked her lips, pleased at Nick's stiff back and clenched hands. "You want some?" She waved the bottle in Nick's face.
He hesitated for a moment. "No, thank you," he said, pressing himself further into his seat.
"Suit yourself." Katrine took another fake swig. She could feel Levi's eyes on her for the first time since they'd headed out; he'd kept his head forward since then. She refused to meet his gaze, but there was a tiny flicker at the bottom of her stomach that was impossible to ignore.
"So, did your family die in Shiganshina?" Katrine ran one finger down the neck of the bottle.
The blood drained from Nick's face. "How...did you know?"
"My good friend Hange told me. So they died in the Titan attack? I imagine it would be difficult to be a priest and a family man at the same time."
"No," Nick whispered. He spoke toward his feet and she could barely hear him over the rattle of the wheels.
"So you have no idea if they lived or died?"
"They died. I saw their names on the lists."
Katrine was silent for a few moments and held out the bottle to Nick. "Sure you don't want some?"
Nick snatched the bottle but didn't meet her gaze. She didn't need to look in his eyes to see the shame on his face, and when he passed the bottle back it was much lighter. There was a wet sheen to his lips that disgusted her, but she refused to show any sign of it. She waited for the first signs of red on his cheeks.
"You know, you might be able to consider yourself lucky," she said. "Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to die there than to be sent off to starve in the operation to retake Wall Maria."
His head snapped up, the whites of his eyes finally visible. "How dare you speak that way! Shiganshina was decimated. People were slaughtered right before my eyes, entire families destroyed in an instant. You talk of luck like something so fleeting was there that day. You'd never understand if you haven't seen your own family killed like that!" He was shouting. "You hold your tongue and pray to Sina for forgiveness."
Katrine stared at Nick, eyes narrowed, giving him enough time to start worrying about what was going to come out of her mouth next. With her eyes still on him, Katrine raised the bottle to her lips and took another fake swig at the bottle, pretending to drink deeply. She lowered it slowly and dragged one finger under her lip to catch any drops.
"I do understand, Nick. One of my friends, more like a sister, died right in front of me. It was horrible, so much screaming, blood everywhere," she said, keeping her voice low and soft. "I had nightmares for weeks. Actually, she was a member of the Cult." Katrine leaned forward to rest her cheek in her hand, letting her eyes drift away as if in a trance.
"Who?"
"Died in Stohess, now that I remember," she said, twisting the bottle in her fingers.
The angry flush on Nick's face receded, revealing mottled, pockmarked skin. "Who?" he repeated. He leaned forward to take the bottle from her and sucked down more of the whiskey.
"Cecily. Cecily Duma."
His head dropped back, eyes closed. "Heard about her. She was a whore." Derision dripped from his voice. "One of those dancers in the C-Capital." His words sounded thick.
Katrine recoiled. "That's a cruel thing to say, especially for a priest. She was a sweet girl." That was a lie since Cecily was prickly and arrogant but had crashed to her knees by falling pregnant.
"And how'd y'know this woman?"
"Danced together."
"Should've known, only whores wear red."
Katrine raised her eyebrows. "I am wearing the uniform of the greatly esteemed and respected Survey Corps. Nothing but neutrals on me, Rick." The priest jabbed a finger at her face, and momentarily she feared he would poke her eye out. "Oh, no, that's not 'red,' it's called 'Everlasting Romance,' and you can actually only get it in Stohess so guess you figured out the reason I'm really here." Katrine shrugged ruefully. "And to lay some flowers on Cecily's grave."
"Died in childbirth. Lamentable but...natural." Nick took another swig from the bottle after he pushed out the last word, which seemed to take him a few moments to remember.
"It's not natural to run through the streets in the middle of the night while in labor, screaming that the Church was going to take her baby away."
"Hysteria's commonplace in women."
Katrine resisted the urge to punch him. "I'd be hysterical too if four priests dragged me kicking and screaming into the cathedral."
"Preposterous!" Nick cried. "The Church would never use such methods of violence."
Katrine matched his voice. "And then after you cut the baby out of her, she found the strength to stagger out the cathedral dripping blood and curse the Cult with her dying breath!"
It was another lie. Katrine hadn't been there when Cecily died; she'd only heard exaggerated tales from the other girls who hadn't been there either. She would never forget, though, the gutted look on Valeria's face and how she'd withered away afterward. Cecily might have been callous and domineering, but something was rotten. There was a reason she'd written those panicked letters to Valeria, and why Valeria had begged each of them for whatever money they could spare.
Nick dropped the bottle from his mouth to bark a laugh. "That'd never happen."
"Really? Which part? Because I read all of that in the newspapers." There was only a passing sentence regarding Cecily's death.
The veins in his neck pulsed. "Whatever drivel you read couldn't possibly have the whole story. The Church welcomes unwed mothers with open arms, despite their sins." He fell forward, nearly sliding off his seat. "I'll disregard your comment about harming children because it is ludicrous, and we would never allow a woman to run through a public space and scare parishioners when there would be, of course, private entryways."
"A private entryway! How luxurious. I'm sure you have 'private entryways' to the ladies' baths too." Katrine winked.
"You imply the Church would take part in such sins? It is kept in the neighboring pharmacy for convenience, not such mischief as you suggest!" Nick's voice was condescending. "Though I can't say someone like you would know any better." He threw her a smug smile.
Katrine shrugged. "Someone like me does know there's another way in."
Nick was poised to say something, but he immediately shut his mouth to reconsider. The smile was gone and his fingers gripping the bottle grew white.
"Why're you so concerned? The Scouts never had any interest before."
Deflect. "I want to find the place where Cecily spent her last moments. I think her spirit is restless, so maybe she needs a candle. Do you think the Cathedral has some to spare?"
"So, whores have decency too!" The smirk returned. "Unfortunately it was destroyed, but you may always light a candle in the Cathedral for those lost."
"Shame! I would've loved to know what kind of things you priests get up to in your secret passageways. Don't you get worried someone'll poke around just to see?" Katrine smiled benignly as she watched the bottle tremble in Nick's hand.
"It's buried," he said, with certainty. It seemed he was saying it more to convince himself than her. "You won't find anything."
"Nothing can stay buried forever. And you can underestimate me all you want, but he's the smart one." Katrine tilted her head toward Levi. He didn't turn, but he'd heard every word.
Nick shuddered, but righted himself. "I'll tell the MPs you're sniffing around."
"No you won't, then they'd ask how I found out. I promise, I just want to light a candle." She pointed at the bottle of whiskey still in his hand. "You can have the rest."
"I would thank you for returning Pastor Nick, but you did kidnap the man," the stout MP said, mouth twisted in a sneer. Nick cowered behind him, face still flushed from the alcohol. It was pathetic.
Levi shrugged, arms crossed. "We didn't force him, it was his choice."
The MP placed his hands on his substantial hips, blocking the entrance to Edelweiss Cathedral. He glared at Levi, and Levi returned the look. The two were near opposites of each other: the MP ruddy and sweating while Levi was stony. Though Levi always looked bored, the dull sheen in his dark eyes suggested he found the exchange beneath him. Katrine blinked and realized she was staring at him; folding her arms tighter, she forced her eyes to the MP.
"I'm not shocked to see the Survey Corps resort to kidnapping, but really, a priest? Can't say I understand that commander of yours," he said, arms raised in mock confusion.
"I doubt you'd have the brainpower for it," Levi said.
"I have enough brainpower to know it's stupid to run around asking to become Titan chow."
Levi gave an exaggerated appraisal of the man. "You wouldn't last one day."
"Of course, you wouldn't know, but only the top ten graduates of the Training Corps are allowed to enter the MPs," the man said, chin raised. "I don't need to prove anything to you or Titans."
"It'd be great if you did because you could feed three of them for a week."
The MP ground his teeth so hard Katrine was certain she could hear it, and his already flushed face grew redder. He took a step forward, a heavy boot scraping against the ground. Levi, however, hadn't moved from his spot and was threateningly calm.
"Look at this place. You Scouts let a Titan in and half of this is wrecked," the MP said, jabbing a finger at the wreckage near the cathedral. "We finally got most of the looting under control and the displaced have shelter. This was all thanks to the MPs and our hard work. We're more useful to humanity than anything the Scouts have ever done."
"Really brave of you and the MPs, shows real gut," Levi said, eyeing the man's considerable belly.
Katrine bit down hard on her lip and covered her mouth as casually as possible to prevent herself from giggling like a goddamn fool. There were men with silver tongues, and she'd met many of them, but whatever Levi had was the violent opposite. His words were brutal and biting, but clever; simultaneously blunt and sharp. She'd never encountered anything like it. It was vicious and even more intoxicating than she'd remembered.
"Go find a dog to lick your ass clean," the MP snarled.
"Luckily there's one right in front of me," Levi said.
"Okay, okay, can we quit it with the pissing contest? You got your priest." Katrine was sorry to stop the argument because she would love to let it escalate, but their mission was to infiltrate that very cathedral and it was best to not draw attention. And she needed to stop admiring anything about Levi.
The MP turned his scowl on her. "Don't think I don't know about you."
"I'm sorry?" Katrine adopted a surprised expression.
"Everyone knows to watch out for you. There've been enough wallets stolen by some tricky Scout."
"That's ridiculous! Are you calling me a criminal?" Levi's gaze scorched her skin and it took all her concentration to keep looking at the MP.
"A pickpocket, so yeah, I am. Two of my buddies' wallets got stolen by a girl who looks a lot like you."
"If they're as hideous as you are, then I definitely had nothing to do with it," Katrine said, momentarily enjoying the venom in her mouth, but it was washed away with regret when the MP stepped forward again with even more force. So much for a low profile.
"Hey," Levi said, hand raised. "You don't want blood outside a church, do you?" His voice was deeper than before and hinted at trouble.
The MP scowled, but turned around and grabbed Nick's arm. "The Scouts'll be done for in a month. Take my word for it," he snarled as he threw open the cathedral doors and dragged Nick inside.
"Lovely talking to you, Nate! Let's do it again sometime!" Katrine waved at Nick, who kept his head down. The solid wooden doors shut behind them. "Nice job there," she immediately said to Levi, eyes still on the church. She needed to get the first word in.
"MPs are all shit, don't need to treat them any better than that," Levi said, gaze on the cathedral as well.
It was back to that unspoken game, the one she only played with him, trading insults without eye contact, and whoever looked first lost. She always lost. Every time Katrine wondered if it was a game to him too, or if it was just another conversation he wanted to end.
"Did you have to make it so obvious we hate them?" she asked.
"Not like you did any better, sticky fingers."
She huffed. "That's just a dirty rumor."
"Not a rumor if it's true."
Katrine bit down on the tip of her tongue, the best way to keep her concentration without making it clear that she was struggling. He wasn't even looking at her, though. She glared so hard at the cathedral doors that her eyes began to sting.
"Sure hope he's okay in there, and that Erwin didn't send a priest off to his demise," she said.
"Whatever's in there really can't be worse than a carriage ride stuck talking to you."
"I got him to spill. You would have cut his tongue off first."
"Would've been less painful for everyone."
"If this mission is a failure I promise I'll tell Erwin everything was your fault."
Levi scoffed. "I'll tell him you were drunk before noon."
Before she could stop herself she was facing him, glowering. For a moment she was angrier with herself because she'd lost, again.
"It's called acting, ever heard of it?" There was a tiny edge of irritation in her voice that was humiliating; she hoped he didn't hear it. Levi still wasn't meeting her gaze. He probably hadn't budged since they'd gotten to the cathedral.
"Yeah, acting like an idiot."
"Idiots don't weed out information on secret passageways, which I'd like to find," she said and turned hard on one heel to stalk toward the damaged buildings. He followed her since she hadn't left him with any other choice, but he was slower than usual due to his sprained ankle. A tiny mean part of her was happy about it.
They walked the stone path snaking around the cathedral, shaded by its massive stone walls and tall spires. Churches by their nature always promised a welcoming environment, but this one was so overbearing that it felt threatening, like it watched over Stohess. It was also the proud demarcator where the damage from the Female Titan stopped. Erwin had told her that, but she hadn't expected it to be quite so literal.
Katrine picked through the slabs of granite and broken glass that littered the pathway, careful not to fall but keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. Though, everything was suspicious to her.
"We're never going to find this pharmacy." She slapped her hands to her cheeks and groaned.
"Don't be so obvious, they're probably watching," Levi said.
Katrine pursed her lips, annoyed, but then kept them pressed to stifle a smile. "Hey, Levi." She turned back with a concerned expression. "It really bugs you, doesn't it?"
"What?" It was more of a grunt than a question, like he already regretted answering.
"This...mess. There's rubble, and glass, and dirt...everywhere." She widened her eyes in mock alarm.
"What do you expect me to do about it?" A tiny muscle pulsed at the edge of his jaw.
"Should I anticipate you staying late to help them clean up? It's a big job."
"I can't rebuild an entire district, dumbass."
"I don't think Humanity's Greatest should let this glass cut an innocent bystander—"
"Shut the fuck up, Katrine." It came out too fast, too sharp, and Levi glowered at the wreckage. The way he set his jaw made it obvious he hadn't considered his words and regretted it. Katrine turned away and continued walking forward but allowed herself to grin when she knew he couldn't see because she'd finally won something.
They continued ahead, and Katrine noticed that the stone walls of the cathedral were pristine. No chips in the rock, no broken windows, and barely any dust. Compared to the debris right next to it, the cathedral looked as if it could have been placed there yesterday. Either the cathedral had some priest just as maniacal about cleaning, or something was off.
Just as she stopped to touch the cathedral wall, Levi appeared at her side facing the other way, their shoulders almost touching. Her breath hitched in her throat when she caught his scent, the same as it was before, earthy and like pine. Shoving the air back into her lungs was a battle and she prayed he wouldn't ask her something because she didn't think she could answer.
"At your two o'clock, to the left of the brick one, there's a building with a mortar and pestle on it," he said.
Katrine turned, excruciatingly slow, hoping she appeared natural and not like she was berating herself for feeling exactly how she promised she wouldn't feel. But she looked where he directed and found the building, and sure enough, there was a mortar and pestle painted on the wood. It was dusty and part of it had splintered away. She wouldn't have found it on her own.
She nodded.
"Seen better days, though," he said.
"Yeah." It was all she could think to say.
"We'll head back here at midnight. Keep yourself out of trouble until then."
Katrine's mind snapped back to attention. "What do you think I'm going to do, rob the bank?"
"Wouldn't put it past you. Though I can't babysit you, I have errands."
She snorted. "Sure you do. And I have things to do that don't involve buying overpriced tea." She started to walk away because she always needed the last word.
"Wear black," he called out.
Bastard. "Black washes me out," she said over her shoulder, still walking.
The sun beat down on the broken city, its jagged shadows leaving ominous blotches on the pavement. Katrine strode away with purpose, but once out of sight turned random corners and picked whatever direction suited her at that moment. There was nothing to do but kill time.
After a half-hour Katrine stumbled upon a marketplace, still operating despite the damage done the previous week. Granted, she was in the part of town that hadn't been destroyed, but it was eerily quiet. Too quiet, especially for a city. People spoke in whispers and children were silenced with glares. Everyone was stiff, unnatural, as if they were bracing themselves for another onslaught.
Katrine stood before a fruit stand, considering buying a peach and measuring the probability that she would chip a tooth on the pit this very day. It had never happened before, or to anyone she knew, but those things always did at the most inconvenient times. She would be begging fate at this point. Though, Utopia had only dried fruit, and peaches were in season.
"Katrine Casimir," a voice said behind her. It was low and certain.
Katrine spun, immediately suspicious, to find a woman of about her height, heavily pregnant and holding both a full sack and the hand of a girl no older than four. The woman was dressed well, but fine lines circled her eyes and her brown hair looked oily like it hadn't been washed. But five years and a few extra pounds couldn't mask the familiar features.
"Been a while," she continued, approaching her. Katrine had no choice but to answer.
"Josephine. What are you doing in Stohess?" She hoped her voice didn't betray her surprise.
"I live here. I could ask you the same thing, though I expect it has to do with the Scouts," Josephine said. "I didn't expect it to be so jarring to see you in a military uniform."
"Just about as weird as seeing you with one kid and another on the way. Find the father in Mitras?"
"Found a husband in Mitras, actually."
"Ah! Guess that's how you can afford to live here." She bent down so she was eye level with the girl and smiled. "Your mom and I knew each other back at the Company a long time ago. What's your name?"
She squeezed Josephine's hand tighter and looked down. "Aster."
"Aster." Katrine looked up at Josephine. "After the flower?"
"The stars," Josephine said.
Katrine looked back at Aster. "Both very pretty, but not as much as you," she said, tapping her on the nose. The girl's eyes widened.
"Ugh, I need to sit. My feet are killing me," Josephine said, adjusting the bag of groceries on her hip.
Katrine rose to her feet and reached for Aster's other hand, and the three walked toward a bench at the edge of the square. Katrine sat and smiled at Aster, patting the spot next to her. The girl clambered up and covered her mouth with both hands, but curiosity shone in her eyes.
"Tell me, Aster, when's your mom gonna pop?" She made a noise and flicked her hands at Aster.
She giggled. "Few weeks."
"Can't come soon enough," Josephine said with a groan. "To be honest I'm surprised I didn't go into labor right when that Titan showed up."
"Did you see it?" Katrine asked.
"No, it was way over on the eastern side near the Wall. Sure felt it, though. And the screaming, it was…" She shivered. "Aster couldn't sleep for the first few days without waking up sobbing. I had to start giving her whiskey in milk. But now I don't know when we're getting milk again." She sighed as if she too hadn't slept for a week. Resting her hands on her belly, she eyed Katrine. "Really, why are you here? Don't you have Titans to kill and government money to waste?"
"Oh no, even better, I was escorting a priest."
Josephine blinked. "A priest? From the Cult?"
Katrine threw up her hands. "I just follow orders."
Josephine snorted. "No, you don't. If there's something else to it I don't want to know because those people give me nightmares." She shuddered, but there was a sly smile on her lips. Katrine waited in anticipation; Josephine always loved gossip.
"Two weeks ago, before all this happened," she said, jabbing her finger at the stray bricks on the pavement and the broken windows, "I went to Edelweiss Square because I thought I might actually die if I didn't eat the fried bread down there." She gestured to her belly and grimaced. "So I was eating, and then this little boy came running out of the Cathedral screaming his head off. It was like the poor child was being chased by a ghost!"
Katrine shrugged. "Maybe he really didn't want to go to church." She was intrigued, though.
"No, what was really weird was that five priests came sprinting after him. And they looked furious, they were yelling so loudly! It was just...unnatural. Five of them for one boy is too much." Josephine folded her arms. "And when they caught him the boy was still screaming, and they actually dragged him back inside. I'm not exaggerating, I promise, they were dragging him."
"Promising you're not exaggerating doesn't mean you're not, Josie."
"Don't call me that. This boy fought the whole way. I swear I saw blood on the ground when I was walking back," Josephine said. "No one did anything. I mean, what can you do?"
Katrine made a small noise in agreement, staring back at the fruit stand. Josephine had a tendency for hyperbole, but there had to be some bit of truth to the story. And why did everything seem to have children involved?
"You know, I had a panic attack giving birth to this one because of what happened to Cecily." Josephine nodded toward her daughter.
"I don't blame you."
They fell silent. Katrine dropped her head back to gaze at the sky and avoid Josephine's eyes, a colder green than she remembered.
"Why'd you leave, Katrine? It was awful after you left," Josephine said, an edge to her voice.
Katrine slouched and put her elbows on her knees, stroking her hair. "It was shit even while I was there."
"Don't swear in front of Aster."
Katrine stuck her tongue out at Aster, and the girl mimicked her.
"Why the Scouts, of all places? I never took you for one who'd run off to fight Titans and die a hero," Josephine said.
"It's just about the furthest you can get from Mitras," Katrine said, tugging hard at her braid.
"Quit it with that! It's so unflattering." Josephine reached over and smacked her hand. Katrine blinked, surprised; no one had chided her for that in years. She leaned over so she was closer to Aster, their cheeks nearly touching.
"Aster, let your Aunt Katrine braid your hair. Your mom was always terrible at it," she whispered conspiratorially.
The girl turned around with a gummy smile and Katrine gently combed through the girl's soft brown hair and began to braid it. While Aster giggled at her mother, Katrine wrinkled her nose at Josephine.
"Did you hear Mr. Kaiser died?" Josephine asked.
Katrine's hands froze and Aster's hair slipped out of her fingers.
"Six months ago," Josephine continued.
"I know," Katrine said, voice strained.
Josephine prattled on about what she knew, which was exactly what Katrine knew because she'd read the obituary. But she couldn't say anything because her lungs had constricted and it was impossible for any breath to come out. Mr. Kaiser had decided to die right when she was angry and vulnerable and left her with a humiliating mess and Levi's contempt. She focused on forcing her fingers through Aster's hair and she swallowed, remembering how to speak again.
"He has a tendency to ruin things even from the grave," she muttered, and pulled out the little mirror from her waistband and handed it to Aster.
"What? Katrine, you still have this? I can't believe it's lasted this long!" Josephine gently took the mirror from her daughter's fingers and inspected it, turning it over in her hands.
"Eight years!" Katrine said, thankful for the change in subject. "I'm surprised, too."
"Wow. It doesn't even feel like that long ago. Victoria showed it to me before she wrapped it up, she was so proud of herself," Josephine said, tracing its delicate carvings of vines and leaves, eyes distant. She handed it back to Katrine with a little smile on her face and patted Aster on the knee, but her hand looked heavy.
"We should go. My husband's probably starting to wonder," she said and rose to her feet. Aster hopped off the bench and tugged at her own braid. "Really, Katrine, don't get eaten by a Titan. I don't want to read about your death in the papers like everyone else's." Josephine stared directly into her eyes and Katrine couldn't keep her gaze. Guilt fluttered at the bottom of her stomach.
"I'm not planning on it," Katrine said. "Because then I won't get to take you out for fried bread, huh, Aster?"
Katrine watched their backs as they walked away, and she too rose to buy herself that peach. She bit into it and enjoyed the sweetness flooding her mouth, but when she sat back down she realized she hadn't thought about Victoria once over the past three days. The next bite tasted like dust.
Katrine and Levi crept through the dark streets of Stohess, darting into alleyways and slinking behind wagons to avoid the occasional MP. The curfew imposed on Stohess was a blessing for keeping away fewer eyes to recognize them, but a curse for leaving them wide open to those assigned to night watch.
She tried to stay behind him in case the MPs saw them because she knew she was ineffective in a fight, but also so he couldn't see her clench her hands with nervous tension. Her fingers contorted into horrible claws so she could keep the rest of her body still and calm. Her knuckles ached but a torrent of rage, curiosity, and fear coursed through her. Something was there, something the Cult wanted hidden, because what Nick and Josephine said and what happened to Cecily couldn't be isolated coincidences.
Katrine wanted to scream that she knew, and that she'd find whatever the Cult kept hidden, drag that dark secret out from underground into the light. Then if she ever saw the other dancers again maybe they wouldn't give her those same cold eyes because she'd disappointed them.
When they reached the pharmacy Levi suddenly turned to Katrine, right as she'd straightened all her fingers to shoot out whatever excess energy she had. "Do what I tell you unless you want to get caught," he said, voice low.
"Fine." She hated being ordered but knew he was right.
Levi picked through the rubble and scanned the area for MPs. He wrenched open the pharmacy door and peered inside, and after nodding back to her, he entered. Katrine gingerly stepped around the debris, intently focused on avoiding the sharp edges threatening to tear her skin. She followed him inside, breathing in the thick, stale air, and took another hesitant step into the darkness.