Kido's Diary

by Nei The Maiden Of Mirrors

Kido, after the events of the anime, was suggested to write in a diary to vent out emotionally when she didn't want to talk to anyone else. even after the snakes plans were stopped, strange things had been happening and no one knows why. it's like reading her diary first hand with everything described from how they were seen, ranging from everyday life to the off happenings

25. the helpless feeling

Chapter 25: the helpless feeling

Date: 18th February 20XX

Time: 10:13pm

Dear diary

Things just seem to keep getting worse before they even get better by the smallest amount. Since valentines day, Hibiya has been getting more and more impatient to go looking for Hiyori. He can't keep still for even a second, he wants to search that badly. Momo wants to help but, like the rest of us and even the police, she doesn't know where to either start the search or where to find a lead. As the leader of the den, I can't help but feel just like how Momo is right now. I feel useless and like a complete failure, I can't find Hiyori and I can't help Hibiya. If there was something, literally anything, that would give us a sign that she was somewhere in the area then I'd feel a little better about this whole ordeal.

Through out my depressive like moments, Kano was sitting there by my side through it all and these days, with us sharing a room making it easier, I can't help but to lean on him and his shoulder that little bit more. He doesn't seem all too bothered by it, in fact, most of the time he insists on it with a smile. Unfortunately for him, I've gotten use to his fake smile and to keep him from worrying, I keep giving him my usually hits to keep him from thinking somethings wrong. I think he might be onto me; my hits have been steadily getting softer on him. I can't help but feel like my mental break down will be quickly approaching and with Hiyori still missing, I feel as though its fast approaching.

I have to keep all of us safe and with the appearances of these black snakes that keep getting mentioned, I can't help but feel as though there is a thin connection like in the months around Ayano's death. I wonder, Ayano, what would you do if it were you in my shoes? What would you do differently to stop this from getting worse? I can't help but think that things would be better if you were here with us. Hiyori would be alright, Hibiya would be happier, Momo wouldn't feel so guilty for our lack of success, and we'd be living happily like how we use to, together. As I write this, tears are rolling down my face, remembering all of the better times. I'm sorry Ayano, I'm failing to keep us together when things feel ever more divided.