A.N.:

Hello dear readers. I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this out to you, but I'm not sorry about my reason. It's not what I had promised and it's not as much as I would have liked to get out, but I felt you all had been patient and deserved at least a snippet of a chapter while I work on this.

I had thought that I would get to the actual festival by this chapter, I even thought about cutting out the section that I'm still working on entirely to get to the fun cheerful aftermath of this chapter. After all, 2020 was a struggle for everyone, so why can't we all have a little communal fun, right? But this chapter is important for me to share with you and I feel that many of you understand my reasons because you've had similar experiences.

I recently heard a quote stating that the brain stem doesn't time-stamp trauma. That's why we have triggers and PTSD. So when we remember painful things our brain reacts to it as if it's in real time and we have to tell ourselves that we're going to be ok. That there's a reason to push through the pain. That there's purpose. Something to gain. Something to learn. Something to strengthen us.

Because of my mental illnesses and a few other things, I tend to avoid negative memories and emotions to the point that I completely avoided a playlist that I had made for a character for three years. It had a lot of attachments to a horrible experience that I went through and I was having enough triggers from it without those songs. When I listened to them again recently, I found that I had processed those events enough that the next few days of bad memories weren't as bad as I thought they might be.

For the things that Karmen has gone through, though, it's not quite as simple. She has a lot more to process and come to terms with than I did.

Sometimes the only way is through. You can't grow otherwise. I don't want to go into 2021 being held back. Like Karmen, I want to face my past and be stronger for it. I want to be a better person for it. I want to make sure I give Karmen's journey through these triggers the process it deserves and that what I write is true to her character.

I hope that if any of you are struggling through something you won't give up.

As always, thanks for reading.

"Dr. Spots, I need your help. How fast can you get here?"

"Ghost, wha-? Maybe a couple of weeks? What happened? How many patients are there? What are their symptoms?"

"I'd say at least 23% to half of my patients. Their symptoms include a lack of experience and missing memories."

"What did you expose them to that wiped their memories?"

"They're not physically ill, Spots, but they've missed so many experiences that normal people have. We're throwing a festival to make happy memories. Besides, it's probably time for Pierce to get his slice-and-dice check-up anyway."

There's a long silence from the other end of the line. "Ghost-ya, I don't have time for your word games and even less time for festivals."

"There are children here who've never known anything except slavery. I want to give them a different experience. Something that will stay with them their whole lives. I have a special surprise in mind, but I can't pull it off without your help."

"Ghost-yaaa-"

"Your crew has been working really hard to help you with your goals, right? When was the last time you all took a break?"

"Probably the last time you did."

"So let's do this together. For the children's mental well-being and our own."

There's a heavy groan from the other side of the line. "This is blackmail."

"Great! I'll see you in a couple of weeks. We'll be wearing yukata and exchanging hand-made gifts. Your crew can exchange with the Sunnies."

"Wait, Ghost, who else-"

Bye~!"

Karmen sets Law's glowering snail aside and picks up another one with a long, high, flowing ponytail and goatee. She places the call and listens to it ring.

Beedo Beedo Beedo Beedo Beedo.

"Ghost?"

"Hey, Sun! We're having a festival in a couple of weeks and I'd really enjoy it if you and your crew could join us."

Aladine's voice comes across as chipper and friendly. "Oh? What kind of festival? Is there a surface holiday we don't know about?"

"We're making one up and calling it the Bear Festival. There's going to be entertainment, a feast, and yukata. We're going to exchange hand-made gifts and, if I can pull it off, there's going to be a special surprise. Dr. Spots and his crew will be coming too."

"That sounds like quite the festival. Are you sure your patients would be receptive to pirates, especially ones like us, coming to your island? Most humans aren't."

"Oh, dearie, they deal with a pirate like me every day." She lets the joke stand a moment before continuing in a more serious tone. " They're already used to Julimes and Ulah. And besides," she says, "I believe we're extremely close to having our first group ready to return home. I would like for them to meet you beforehand. We haven't had much exposure to people off the island and I think they would benefit greatly to see how far you and your crew have come after living through similar experiences."

He gives a small chuff that makes it sound like there's a smile on his face. "It's good to hear that they've made that kind of progress. We'll do our best to be there."

"We look forward to having you."

"See you soon, Ghost."

Before she has a chance to hang up, Saaresto leans over the communications console and raises his eyebrow. "Aren't you concerned that the navy might intercept the transmissions?" he asks. "Letting them know that two major pirate crews will be communing on the island might bring us unwanted attention."

Karmen is all aflame with intense determination. "If they disrupt this festival and ruin the dreams of children, then they're worse than the Dragons themselves and will suffer the full wrath of the underworld," she tells him. "If anything, they should rest assured that they won't be on the open waters for a day or two and take a break themselves."

She sets the snail down and goes to her poison room to prepare what's needed for the festivities. She doesn't return until dinner. She sits down with a weary but content sigh and accepts a plate from the kitchen volunteers. As she eats, she imagines the smiles on the children's faces when everything comes together.

Halfway through the meal, a woman with short black hair steps into the dining hall wearing a cloak and only a single layer of clothing beneath it. Her hood is still pulled low over her face, but her eyes gleam with determination as her boots clack across the stone floor. Karmen doesn't turn around as she approaches. She sips her tea and does her best to keep her broad smile restrained until the woman has said her peace.

Camilla stands behind Karmen, fists clenched. "I'll do it," she says in an unusually loud and clear voice, "on one condition."

At this Karmen sets her teacup down and swivels around on the bench to give the teen her full attention. "And what condition is that, my dear?"

"We incorporate silk," she says. "As therapy for you."

Winston immediately becomes a statue, scarcely daring to breathe and show an inkling of the electricity building inside him. His eyes lock on Karmen hopefully. Pierce, on the other hand, chokes on his tea. His ear turns to Karmen with concern. Every hair on his body is poised to react to what she does next, whether it's to spring and rescue Camilla for the mere request or to deal with any emotional aftermath the suggestion leaves. He observes her carefully for subtle signs of discomfort or distress that only he might pick up on.

Karmen finds herself very thankful that she'd put down the cup, otherwise it might have shattered in her hand. She finds her fingers still twitching into claw-like shapes at the word. Her skin grows cold and goosebumps rise on her flesh. The muscles in her neck tighten into tense knots. For a moment she's grateful that the girl prefers to speak with her hands because Karmen's tongue feels fat and thick inside her mouth as if the very word has given her an allergic reaction.

-Why silk?- her fingers flicker out.

-My specialties are fans and aerial silk. It doesn't work as well with other materials. I'm personally more comfortable with the silks,- she explains. -This festival will be important for everyone here and if I'm going to choreograph a group dance, I want to offer my best. Besides, if you're going to push me to overcome my past, then I'd like to help you do the same.- The motion of her hands softens some. -You focus on everyone else so often that you don't leave time to focus on your own recovery. You and the veterans say it all the time. You're as much of a patient as us.-

Throughout this conversation, Karmen doesn't miss the subtle upward twitches of Winston's mouth. Even Bhoden, who seems to have picked up on some of the language, is smiling with some sort of paternal agreement. Pierce seems hopefully poised, not quite daring to entertain the thought. Despite feeling a bit called out, she notices that every patient is watching the exchange with an obvious curiosity that they wouldn't have had when they first came to the island.

They'd all come so far from where'd they'd started. Can she say the same? If she denied Camilla's bargain, what message would that send? She'd made more poisons, destroyed a few wineries and packing plants, and even practiced her combat awareness daily, but when it came down to who she is as a person how much can she say she's grown? She needs to work harder. Luffy, the crew, and her patients deserve better from her.

An easy smile spreads across her face and she stands as gracefully as she can, squaring her shoulders with all the authority she can muster. "For you and the sake of progress on both our behalves, I accept."

As she raises her hand to extend to Camilla, the teen's eyebrows rise with surprise and respect. "Are you sure? You don't have to force yourself for me. I'd understand if you weren't ready."

"I've barely touched the stuff in four years without being forced to. If I don't start getting over my aversion now, I might develop a life-long habit. I'm not sure in the slightest, but you're right," she says, extending the hand fully. "It's time that I began considering my own treatment. Avoiding my triggers won't make me the leader you deserve. If you're willing to do this for me, I can do it for you."

Camilla chuckles and shakes her head. "Alright. Eyes forward." She clasps Karmen's hand firmly and shakes it heartily.

"Eyes forward."

Pierce gives her a broad grin full of pride. Winston actually lets out a cheer, then quickly composes himself and clears his throat.

When the women release each other, Camilla moves toward the kitchen to fix her plate and Karmen steps up onto her chair and puts one foot on the table, spreading her arms wide. "If I could have everyone's attention for a moment, I have an announcement," she calls.

Her voice echoes across the walls, hushing the whispered conversations and murmurs. Some of them pretend that she hadn't had their attention in the first place. They all turn and look at her expectantly.

"In the next few days, I would like all the adults to make a dish and a bowl, cup, or flowerpot in pottery class. These will be dried, glazed, and eventually exchanged with a fellow patient. The children will be making a less time-consuming item at a later date. We will be having our first ever Batoidea Island Bear Festival and gift-exchange!"

Excitement echoes around the room and she waits for the discussion to die down before continuing.

"Some of you have already been approached by appointed members of our planning team, but if you would like to volunteer, we would appreciate the help. We will be having a boat hunt, a feast, games, entertainment, and each of you will be getting your very own lucky charm made by Pierce," she proclaims. Aniyah's eyes sparkle. "Winston will also have yukata available if you'd like to wear one. If anyone has anything to add to my shopping list for this event, tell me by tonight because I'll likely go shopping tomorrow."

She goes through the various people in charge of the planned activities and makes sure to have the women Camilla requested are directed to speak with her.

"One other thing," Karmen says, waiting for the room to quiet again. "I've invited several guests to attend the festival with us. I know we have been a closed community up until this point and that some of you may be wary of new faces that don't come in on a pod of rays. I assure you that I would not bring anyone here unless I trusted them with my life."

"Are any of them cute?" one woman calls loudly. This is followed by a chorus of giggles and shy blushing smiles from some of the younger women. It breaks the tension coming off some of the more nervous patients.

"Not that I tend to look at that sort of thing, but there is one very handsome gentleman coming, yes," Karmen says. "He has white hair, black eyes, and is very warm." This gets another chorus of squeals from the ladies with intense whispering about what sort of person Karmen might find worth mentioning.

Pierce walks up in a very serious manner and clears his throat. "Imagine their surprise when they find out you're describing a literal bear," he says in a low voice.

"I meant everything that I said about B," she says in a similar tone. "What else would they be expecting?"

He shrugs. "With you? Anything," he says. "Do you really trust Law with your life?"

"I trust him with you, don't I?" She notices his still stiff and antsy demeanor. "Was there something else, Pierce?"

"Might I request that you cloak us so that I may speak and act freely, Mistress," he requests.

"Of course." She concentrates for a few seconds. "Done."

The word is barely out of her mouth before she finds herself being lifted off her feet and swung in a quick circle. "Did you even notice?" he asks with cheerful inflection. "That entire conversation with Camilla, you didn't mask your emotions once."

As he pulls her into a tight hug she revels in the warmth of his body and thinks back on the conversation. "I suppose I didn't. I didn't even notice."

"It looks like you're recovering more than we've noticed," he says. "You're progressing wonderfully."

"I'm not sure about all that, but I appreciate you saying so," she says.

"I know you mostly agreed to the silk for them, so don't be afraid to rely on me if you need some extra support leading up to the festival," he says seriously. "You may have a stronger reaction to it than you expect."

"I'll keep that in mind," she says. "Thank you, Pierce." She drops the cloak as Pierce steps back.

"So would you like me to accompany you on your shopping trip tomorrow?" he asks. "For the heavy lifting?"

"Of course," she says, then adds distastefully, "I'll need you to carry that si-silk. I'm going to avoid it for as long as possible."

He smiles understandingly. "Of course, mistress."

The next day passes in a bustle. All the patients dash to and fro, making preparations for the festival and making their clayware to exchange. Pierce and Karmen strap onto Parvati and a few of the other rays early in the morning and head to the safest nearby island with a large market. They return late evening with crates of food, fabric, clay, and one crate with a large label that says "Direct to Karmen's Lab."

Karmen followed this and set directly to work behind closed doors where she stayed tinkering away for most of the night. Pierce secures fasteners into the ceiling of the training chamber to hang the silks from. Winston finds him there.

"I noticed she didn't touch a bite of dinner," he says as Pierce lands beside him. His fingers trace over the long sashes like an old lover.

The Gray Bat-Bat man nods. "She had a lot of trouble buying it," he says. "You know her. Throwing herself into her work is her way of dealing with her emotions. She'll talk about it when she's ready."

Winston nods as he finds it hard to step away from the silk. "We'll need to keep an extra careful eye on her in the proceedings," he says. "I would hate to see such beautiful fabrics burn up before the performance."

"It might after," Pierce responds sympathetically.

"I am… mostly prepared for that eventuality," Winston responds, "if not saddened by it."

"Are you prepared to get Camilla's measurements for whatever outfits she'll request?" Pierce asks.

"My dear boy," Winston says, eyes flashing. "What sort of two-bit tailor do you take me for? I've been able to measure a person with only my eyes since I was fifteen. I only use my tape measure to look more professional."

Pierce cocks his head toward Winston curiously. "You know, I only ever saw you use it with Willow and Karmen."

He chuckles. "That's because by the time you arrived Willow had me completely monopolized." His eyes grow distant and his hands still. "Despite the results of her upbringing, I never minded making dresses for Willow. I didn't mind making suits for Ikaika. And of course, I delight in everything I make for Karmen. As she quoted from her crewmate, like a ship, what they are used for does not diminish the pride of making something with your heart."

"I remember your work being beautiful," Pierce responds softly. "Of course you take pride in it. They even flattered Willow, which was a feat in itself."

Winston gives a soft chuckle. "We grew up on the same island, you know, Willow and I," he says. "My parents were killed and half of us raced off to join the Revolutionary Army because of it. Godwin and I were stationed on Valcour because of it. Now I'm here."

"Do you miss that life?" Pierce asks.

"Some things. People, mostly," Winston says after a short pause, "but I have my craft, and that's something that I'll never lose."

After he finished rigging the silks, Pierce was called away to help build game booths for the fair. Winston returned to making and fitting yukata. Soon both of them were so busy that they barely had a moment to think about the past at all. In fact, most of the island's residents didn't. All eyes were on the future except for those of two women.