Chapter Ten:
Internment Infiltration
He ran to the other side of the Firewall, carefully sneaking past the ninjas until he'd reached the terminal just as the cage dropped on the black-haired, black leather-clad Bayonetta, who shrieked, "I'M IN SMASH, PLEASE LET ME OUT!"
"Let me out this instant, young man!" Swag shouted from the back of the van.
Mario watched as the ninjas loaded Bayonetta into the back of the van, where she joined an angry Swag and a pair of other recognizable faces, such as Mega Man Volnutt. Making sure he wasn't spotted, the plumber leaped onto the back of the van just as the doors closed.
The truck rolled off across the countryside, rolling past the ever-green trees until it rolled into a large structure, coming to a stop on a platform. Machinery clunked and the platform, an elevator, began to descend into the shadows.
Mario held on, wondering where this place was leading to, all while he continued to hear Swag scream, "LET. ME. OUT. NOW!"
Blue light shone below the elevator and Mario threw himself under the vehicle to avoid detection by the ninjas, he watched as the darkness melted into a whole new environment.
Impossible, this place looked just like the shrines' interior from Breath of The Wild. They picked some crazy places. Mario held on as the elevator touched down, beeping filled his ears as the engines rumbled and the truck backed up.
Then it stopped, Mario let go, dropping to the ground and he watched as a pair of ninjas came forward to open the doors.
The back door of the van opened up just as Mario came out of hiding, he watched as Swag, Bayonetta, Mega Man Volnutt, Sans and some others were escorted to an area surrounded by bars.
Seconds later, the platform rumbled and Mario quickly jumped off as the truck rolled back up and the elevator began to ascend again. A pair of ninjas spotted Mario and looked at each other, almost bewildered.
"Isn't that Mario?" One guard asked, "What's he doing here?"
"I dunno. Probably some Mario crossover." The other said.
"Ok, sure. Let's go with that, a crossover is happening and we weren't told about it."
'Phew.' Mario thought, 'Now to get to work.'
He watched as Swag and the others were led towards the gate, which rolled up, Mario saw other folks inside. Detainees, just like Swag. This was strange, very strange.
"LET ME OUT, OR I'M CALLING ALL OF MY 999 LAWYERS!" Swag yelled, "I have a whole army of them, you know how many court cases I got swept up in, you know how many times I got thrown in jail?
"This is not my first time in jail, noobs. I am not exaggerating. 999 Lawyers! How many do you dipshits have, who gives two shits about Lawyer Kong, you guys don't even have a lawyer degree!"
Mario approached the cage, catching sight of a familiar blue hedgehog sitting close by. Sonic looked at Swag with a depressed sigh, he obviously was none too happy about what was going on, probably just as bad as the time Mario disguised him as a girl and made him go on a date with Swag.
"Hey, Sonic. What's going on and why are you guys all locked up here?" Mario asked.
"This place is for folks like us who were in third-party games until Nintendo decided what to do."
Mario heard coughing and turned to see Conker clutching his chest, hacking as if he had the bug. Conker screamed in a strangled voice, "I HAVE LUNG CANCER!" Then he fell over, his whole body going limp as another detainee approached to take advantage of Conker's situation.
"And if you're not wanted…" Sonic groaned, "Well, game over..."
The plumber heard a clunk and a scream, he turned to spot a pair of Nintendo Ninjas loading Banjoo the Bear and Kazooie into a cannon.
The bear screamed, pleading with them not to do whatever they were about to do, and managed to get out a cry of "I WAS IN SMASH" before the cannon fired. A hole in the ceiling opened and Banjo was fired into the sky, then the hole closed shut.
In the following seconds, a monitor appeared and Mario along with the others watched as Banjoo and Kazooie flew across the sky before making impact with a rainbow-y entity that Mario knew too well; Galeem.
"Hey!" Someone cried, "You can't do that, this goes against the human protection law!"
Mario turned, spotting a man in a blue suit and a red tie with spiky brown hair yelling at a Nintendo Ninja. Judging by the man's attire, he was evidently a lawyer.
A lawyer? Perfect.
Nintendo had Lawyer Kong, Mario and his friends could use a lawyer. The plumber was so lucky he hitched a ride on the back of that van and that the guards didn't throw him out in a heartbeat.
The plumber made a move. He stepped past the guards to the other side and waved to the man. "Hey, lawyer guy." He said, "Maybe you can help Mario get his friends back."
His new friend, Phoenix Wright, stared at Mario with disbelief. "What?!" He exclaimed, "Look around you, we're all caged up at the moment. I ain't helpin' anybody until I get out of here. Sorry about that, but unless you can think of somethin', we're real stuck."
Mario clenched his fists with disbelief, then he thought about what the lawyer just said to him. He looked at the guards, then he thought about Nintendo's producers and the many game ideas that had come up over the years. An idea instantly struck him and the Italian pulled out a sign which the detainees all noticed.
'Follow my lead.' The sign read, 'I have a plan.'
Mario then grabbed a curtain and pulled it over the cage. He turned to look at the guards, all of whom were busy guarding the area. Mario whistled.
"Yoohoo." He said.
The guards looked at him.
"Oh, hey, Mario." A Nintendo Ninja said, "You need something? The boss will be coming to find inspiration for the next game at some point today."
"Mario's got an idea for the next-a game." Mario replied.
"Really?" Another ninja said, "What is it?"
'Okie-dokie, here we go.' Mario thought. He cleared his vocal cords and prepared to remove the curtain. "It's-a called..." He said, "Super Mario Everyone Is Here So Please Let Them Out Miyamoto YAHOO!"
Mario pulled away the curtain, revealing the sight of the detainees dancing around and singing. One ninja looked at his comrade with amazement. "I was right." He said, "There is a crossover game."
"I love crossovers." Another remarked.
"That sounds like an excellent idea!" One guard exclaimed.
"Long title." Another commented, "I'd say we call it SUPER MARIO CROSSOVER MANIA!"
One ninja put down his phone. "THE BOSS LIKES IT!" He exclaimed, "HE LIKES MARIO'S IDEA! LET THEM OUT, THE FIRST RECORDING SESSION WILL BEGIN TOMORROW MORNING!
"In fact, the boys back at headquarters have another crossover project planned. Splatoon 3's hittin' shelves soon and the folks are discussing a Mario x Splatoon crossover, add that to the schedule, boys!"
Mario couldn't believe it; his plan had worked. In a heartbeat, the ninjas let out the detainees and escorted them to the elevator. Soon, everyone was out, except for Mario. Phoenix Wright approached the plumber and shook his hand.
"Great job!" Phoenix said, "That was brilliant, Mario! Sorry about my attitude a short notice ago. Now that I'm out, I'm happy to help. What legal services do you need? My name's Phoenix Wright, ace attorney."
Mario shook Phoenix's hand. "Oh, mama mia." He said, "Would you-a believe it that-a SMG4 and Meggy are-a outside the firewall with-a no other way in? And there's no doubt that Tari and the others are stuck on the other side as well. And with Lawyer Kong as Nintendo's attorney, you're our best-a answer against them as… AH!"
He dropped to his knees, feeling a sense of dizziness. He looked at his hands, he felt like he was melting into the ground, his mind was slipping away.
No, the firewall. Mario had resisted it long enough, now it was taking over.
"Mario?" Phoenix asked.
"Please... help... my friends…" Mario gasped, "Meggy... SMG4... Help them... Help... SMG4... save his channel... help everyone... get... back... to how... everything's-a supposed to be..."
Wright nodded and headed to the elevator. Mario struggled to get back up, struggled to resist. Then he passed out, unable to move. Phoenix turned, watching Mario faint. A minute passed, then Mario jumped back up.
"Yahoo!" He exclaimed and flashed a thumbs up, "It's-a me, Mario!" He looked at his surroundings and frowned.
"What-a the heck am I doing here?" He asked, then he looked at Phoenix Wright, "And what's-a Phoenix Wright doing here? Shouldn't you be in-a your own game. I don't-a belong in Hyrule, I belong in-a the Mushroom Kingdom and it's-a time to go save the Princess from-a Bowser. Let's-a go..."
He jumped onto the elevator just as Phoenix Wright took the lift, they emerged outside and Mario ran off across the Mushroom Kingdom's countryside. Phoenix Wright headed towards the checkpoint to exit the firewall, heading out into the Desert of Desolation to do the fat Italian a favor and see his friends...